Category: Telling people

Dear Chump Lady, My therapist says don’t tell anyone he cheated

Dear Chump Lady, Do you think chumps should tell their family and friends that the reason they are separated from their spouse is because he/she …

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Why Can’t I Say ‘Cheater’?

Dear Chump Lady. I love your blog, but I am on the fence about staying or leaving. I am in recovery mode. I follow several …

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Dear Chump Lady, How do I save my friend?

Hi Chump Lady, Please advise regarding my friend whom I think is making a mess of her life with a rebound relationship.  My ex left …

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UBT: ProJared’s Divorce Statement

The Universal Bullshit Translator was awakened from its slumber to several insistent tweets that it tackle some sort of ProJared bullshit. The UBT had no idea …

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Dear Chump Lady, Do I tell the kids about the cheating?

Dear Chump Lady, I have been married for almost 17 years, together for 21 years. The first time I caught him cheating it was all …

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Dear Chump Lady, He told me not to tell

Dear Chump Lady, I’m a 36-year-old military wife who found out my husband was cheating early last month (February). It began as an emotional affair …

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Dear Chump Lady, The OW is the ‘Girl Next Door’

Dear Chump Lady, My husband has been having sex with the same person since before we got married in 1995 and I never knew it. …

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‘Is it my fault my ex ran off with our nanny?’

Dear Chump Lady, My ex-husband cheated and ran off with the nanny. According to my ‘friends’ and family, it’s all my fault and they knew …

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Dear Chump Lady, He wants a character reference

Hi CL, I was married for 25+ years to a serial cheater, liar, sex addict, abuser, manipulator (yeah, he was all that and a bag …

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broken heart

Dear Chump Lady, I don’t have any good memories of him

Dear Chump Lady, I am having a problem. I was chumped 5 years ago this month. I am in a good place now, remarried, etc. …

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Character Assassination? Probably.

A lot of my Chump Lady mail can be divided into two categories, “I got chumped… what are people going to think?” and “I got chumped… …

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Dear Chump Lady, So why the hell isn’t she HAPPY now?

Hi Chump Lady, So my wife had an affair and after being found out asked for a trial separation. She said she had been “struggling …

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Be the Support You Wish You Had

I begrudge no one their meh. It’s so hard won. But do me one favor as you move on to happier pastures — be the …

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bullshit bird

Keeping Secrets

To be chumped is to be conspired against. Does that sound paranoid? Over the top? Like I’ve got a tinfoil radio transmitter in my head? …

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Stupid Shit That People Say to Chumps

People say a lot of stupid, insensitive things to chumps. It’s everything from the grossly mistaken — “Gee, the affair partner doesn’t seem all that …

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Mindfuck blender

Dear Chump Lady, How do I stop the smear campaign?

Hey Chump Lady, D-Day was November 20, 2017. I was coming home late after working one of my 4 jobs I had taken to sustain …

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My Gun Story… Or That Time I Found a Loaded Handgun Under My Bed

Esther Perel once infamously tweeted at me that my chump story “went beyond infidelity.” I’d fed some execrable article of hers through the Universal Bullshit …

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Dear Chump Lady, The cheater doesn’t know I’m pregnant

Dear Chump Lady, Please chump some sense into me. I separated from my soon-to-be-ex-husband almost 2 years ago… following so many D-days that I won’t …

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Rejection man

Dear Chump Lady, Can’t quite shake the rejection…

Dear Chump Lady, Long-timer lurker, first-time writer. Post-abandonment three main issues keep reverberating around my head: 1. My ex’s (geographically distant) family didn’t say goodbye. …

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Waiting for karma

Dead Cheaters and Terrible Discoveries

There’s a subset of chumps — those whose D-Days come after their cheaters’ deaths. The bastards take it to the grave… and the grave gives …

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