Esther Perel once infamously tweeted at me that my chump story “went beyond infidelity.” I’d fed some execrable article of hers through the Universal Bullshit Translator, got cheeky, tweeted it at her, and she essentially gave me a nice pat on my head. Apparently, I can’t pawn myself off as an expert at chumpdom, because […]
Dear Chump Lady, The cheater doesn’t know I’m pregnant
Dear Chump Lady, Please chump some sense into me. I separated from my soon-to-be-ex-husband almost 2 years ago… following so many D-days that I won’t even bother quantifying them. He cheated A LOT and I chumped just as much. We were together nearly 12 years, married for 5… and, hindsight being what it is, I […]
Dear Chump Lady, Can’t quite shake the rejection…
Dear Chump Lady, Long-timer lurker, first-time writer. Post-abandonment three main issues keep reverberating around my head: 1. My ex’s (geographically distant) family didn’t say goodbye. He told them that “‘We decided’ to end our marriage.” (Um, no. He tossed me aside like a bag of garbage two days after I learned that he had had […]
Dead Cheaters and Terrible Discoveries
There’s a subset of chumps — those whose D-Days come after their cheaters’ deaths. The bastards take it to the grave… and the grave gives it back. Who is there to guard the cellphone now? Or the financial accounts? Chumps going about the terrible work of informing loved ones of a death, unwittingly discover horrors […]
Dear Chump Lady, Is it okay to fuck with his head?
Dear Chump Lady, Is it OK for me to fuck with his head? I really want to scare him and the OW over the holiday season for my amusement. I probably would not follow through (but I may). I know stuff that will freak them out, not to mention his other family members, if I […]
What to Say to Sanctimonious Rubberneckers?
Tis the season for unsolicited advice. Apparently, a bunch of you aren’t doing divorce right, and some well-meaning onlookers (cough…) have seen fit to point out your shortcomings. In yesterday’s comments, “Fern” imagined a rebuttal for busy bodies: “When you find out your spouse has been fucking strangers up the ass while you are home […]
Dear Chump Lady, What do I say to the people who knew?
Dear Chump Lady: How is one supposed to relate to people the cheater told about his affair? These are people he burdened with his secret, for whatever reason (validation?), that then were faced with the uncomfortable situation of feeling like they needed to “keep it to themselves”, for whatever reason. I actually confronted one of […]
The Silent Chumps
The first year I started this blog, I was asked to appear on a HuffPo video panel. The subject was on being friendly with your exes. (Mine was the “no thanks” vote.) Before the segment began, the other panelists and I were chatting and introducing ourselves, off air. I said howdy, mentioned my blog, and […]
Dear Chump Lady, Why is he suddenly nice?
Dear Chump Lady, I am so confused. I am going through a divorce. Eight years of marriage and the discard was sudden and brutal. I am just getting over the crazy shit that has happened. I have been smeared as the person who is having the affair, so no one will speak to me. I have […]
Dear Chump Lady, I wish I would’ve pressed charges
Dear Chump Lady, I have been divorced for several years. I found out during my marriage that my husband was a voyeur (taking secret video tapes of unsuspecting people without their consent in showers, bathrooms, etc). During this time I also found out he was having affairs, hooking up with random strangers on Craiglist, and […]
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