Oh hey, were we talking about DARVO this week? (Deny, attack, reverse victim offender.) Do I ever have a heaping pile o’ mindfuckery for you today. Introducing Reconciliation Industrial Complex therapist quack, Dr. Robert Huizenga. A chump on his mailing list sent me his super special offer to Save My Marriage from my imaginary trauma. […]
Yeah, That’s Not an Apology
Today’s column is on Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse. You know, those weak-ass apologies that upon closer inspection don’t really convey “sorry” at all. If you’re a chump, you’ve probably put a lot of stock in weak-ass apologies. Maybe you even begged for a weak-ass apology, got one, and inferred great depths of humanity from it. Today I’m […]
UBT: Affair Sex in the Marital Bed Is Wrong?
Dear Chump Lady, I received this email from my ex after I confronted him about having sex with “La Pute” in our home. We were married for 35 years, and I had no idea that he was missing his moral compass. I am stumped. What does one say to this? SuzyQ From: Cheater Subject: Re: […]
UBT: Mother’s Day Wishes from the OW?
I got pinged over on FaceBook last week about an email a chump received from the Other Woman, telling the chump how she could be more magnanimous on Mother’s Day. The chump’s divorce isn’t final yet, but OW would like to offer a masterclass in graciousness For The Children! Yes, we all want lessons in comportment […]
UBT: He Blew Up the Marriage to Improve It
A submission here from “Deaun” to the Universal Bullshit Translator that was too fucked up to pass over. According to my counselor [the affair] was a subconscious way of blowing up our marriage to improve it. It was physiological, my brain enjoyed the dopamine. I’m assuming from the “my brain enjoyed the dopamine” Deaun is the […]
UBT: ‘My Life Is Rich and Full’…. That’s Why I’m Stalking You
Dear Chump Lady, I got divorced several years ago, then remarried this last summer. I’m meh. Everything’s been great. I’ve been no contact for 3+ years… but then the other day my ex started following my current wife on Instagram (which she uses for her business) and she promptly sent me a screenshot. I probably […]
UBT: “You’re the One True Love of My Life”
The Universal Bullshit Translator has been called out its quarantine and back to work. The background: A friend of mine was recently chumped by a guy she was dating for 10 months. He borrowed her computer when she helped him with a webinar (he’s a podiatrist. I can’t imagine what that was about. A DIY […]
UBT: “Will Our Affair Survive the Lockdown?”
A few bazillion of you sent the Universal Bullshit Translator the Guardian’s “I’m involved with a married man. Will our affair survive the lockdown?” Penned by “Anonymous,” filed under “Relationships,” I’m not really sure what the point was. Is she looking for advice? (None is given. Comments are off.) Is she shouting her true love […]
The OW Recommends a Self-Help Book
Hi Chump Lady! I wrote to you over the holiday’s, detailing how my cheating EX got cheated on by his mistress and how karma, completely un-looked for at this stage, caught up with him. WELL….Today I received a package (at my office!) from the EX mistress with an “inspirational book” and a letter from the […]
UBT: ‘It’s not all sunshine and rainbows over here’
Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I separated last year after she had a year-long affair with a colleague from work. Later on it had become apparent that she had seen other guys prior as well, over years , she went to the city where her parents live and went out to bars to meet […]
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