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Leave a cheater, gain a life!

UBT: “I Made a Mistake”

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I get some weird mail. But perhaps none so weird as this letter sent to my Universal Bullshit Translator by John — a cheater. Yes, probably inadvertently, John has asked me to decode his own bullshit. Here’s the letter: Maybe you should focus a little more at actually responding and helping people a little more. My […]

UBT: “I Needed You So Much”

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Dear Chump Lady, I was wondering if you could run this e-mail by the UBT. I received this letter from my ex-fuckwit after 18+ months of no contact. Brief background: Gay doctor chump. Ex-FW and I were together for close to 9 years, the last 4 of which began with the discovery of his cheating […]

UBT: The Couple Bubble

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Dear Chump Lady, I got the following text from exhusband over the weekend: First: How to Create a Couple Bubble in Your Relationship Then: Hi, I’m checking text to see if there is anything new with today’s visit, and see that I unintentionally sent you this link. I got upset because I don’t want to […]

UBT: We Are All Complex

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Dear Chump Lady, I was hoping you might run this through the UBT. It’s my now ex-wife’s (the divorce came through a month ago) response when I sent her something you had written about the things that cheaters say. We were together for 18 years. We have an 18-year-old daughter. I discovered she had been […]

UBT: I Will Return With a Fuller Love

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There’s nothing like a good serving of cake to make cheaters really appreciate their chumps. Shana submitted this gem to the Universal Bullshit Translator and says it was from an exchange of emails with her husband as he worked overseas. She asked him: “Are you seeing someone, having sex, etc.?” “I really appreciate the courage and […]

Be Your Own UBT

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Are you a little less chumpy than you used to be? Can you sniff out bullshit a bit better after you found yourself mired in it? The Universal Bullshit Translator is a vain creature (given its insatiable appetite for both cookies and praise), but it bursts its sockets with pride to think it has spawned a multitude […]

UBT Me, Please

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Well, this doesn’t happen very often. A cheater submitted their OWN bullshit to the Universal Bullshit Translator. Yes. Really. This blog is absolute crap! I believe that the infidelity person should be given a second chance to prove that they can have the life they had before they caused and made a big mess of “you’ve […]

UBT: Inform Me About Your Girlfriend

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Some cheaters find it really objectionable when their ex-chumps start dating. I’m not really sure what they were expecting. (Shrine maintenance, castle walls, vows of chastity?) Today’s Universal Bullshit Translator submission comes from “Bob.” (I’m changing his name from the private group from whence this came) whose ex would like to meet his girlfriend… For […]

UBT: ‘Loving Your Husband Hurts Me Too’

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There is no sadder sausage than the Other Woman and her unrequited love. An alert chump sent me this submission, YourTango, “Loving Your Husband Hurts Me Too“, for the Universal Bullshit Translator. After all this time, I still hope he leaves you. I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. Except for his pesky wife. We sit across from […]