There is no sadder sausage than the Other Woman and her unrequited love. An alert chump sent me this submission, YourTango, “Loving Your Husband Hurts Me Too“, for the Universal Bullshit Translator. After all this time, I still hope he leaves you. I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. Except for his pesky wife. We sit across from […]
UBT: In Defense of Dating a Married Man
So here’s some MSN clickbait just begging to be Universal Bullshit Translated this morning. A fluffy little piece of sociopathy by Shannon Boodram, sexologist, entitled “In Defense of Dating a Married Man.”* I often get emails from women involved with a married man or from men who are engaged in an affair that usually center […]
UBT: This Isn’t the Real Me
Ben submitted this glorious bit of bullshit from his not-terribly-remorseful wife. She’d like to set the record straight that the woman who cheated on him was NOT her. Well, not the core her anyway. (And if it’s just your genitals cheating, and not your core, it doesn’t count, right?) You’ll all be relieved to know that however difficult, […]
UBT: A Letter from ‘The Baby’
Dear Chump Lady, I have one that I would LOVE to go through the Universal Bullshit Translator. As a chump I so want to believe he is truly sorry for what he has done, but his actions have not shown that, at least to me. While I still wait for Tuesday and that dreamed of place called Meh, this […]
UBT: Opening the Marriage to Save the Marriage?
An alert chump sent me a link to a sad women doing a sad pick-me dance dressed up as unicorn sophistication — My Husband Cheated On Me — And I Stayed. Here’s Why. Cheated on? Hey, the problem isn’t that your partner told you they were at the gym when they were fucking someone else. And […]
UBT: The ‘Shame’ of Being Tiger Woods’ Mistress
Several alert chumps have sent me requests to watch the new Tiger Woods documentary on HBO and snark about Rachel Uchitel, who appears to be enjoying the secondhand fumes of celebrity. Before I get to my trenchant commentary, why is Uchitel glaring at us while forcefully unbuttoning her jacket? I fear for this breast button. Valiantly […]
UBT: “I Made a List”
Dear Chump Lady: After my divorce from an abusive man, I didn’t date seriously until 4 years later when I met the SparkleD*ck. He was an accomplished professional engineer, as were all his friends, and I’m a first responder. I didn’t want to be “judgey” in this relationship or seem like the “lower educated one.” […]
UBT: The Burger-Flipping Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name
I’m sure you’re all shocked to learn that HuffPo has yet another steaming heap of clickbait triumphant OW pick-me-dance winner essay. About happiness and personal growth. (CN files its nails.) No, no, it’s different! They get married! (CN excuses itself to pick lint out of dryer vents.) And she LEARNED A VERY IMPORTANT LESSON ABOUT […]
UBT: I Can’t Remember
Probably no other statement gets sent to the Universal Bullshit Translator more than “I can’t remember.” What is it about cheating that fogs the mind? (Did all that boinking lead to traumatic brain injury?) Here are some possible UBTs and manipulations around “I can’t remember.” I can’t remember. I totally remember, but I’ll be goddamned […]
UBT: I Only Date Married Men
Several folks sent me the archived Dear Prudence article that ran last week, “Help! I Only Date Married Men. And I Like It.” Which is a peculiar lede. This is a request for validation, not advice. It’s like writing in “Help! I Drown Kittens. And I Enjoy It.” Yes, kitten drowning is generally frowned upon, […]
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