Oh Modern Love, what-the-everliving-fuck? A bazillion of you sent me Sunday’s New York Time’s ML column — a look at relationships from the point of view of a 49-year-old woman who screws married men. Because… well, you know how it goes after divorce, when you create Tinder profiles for no-strings-attached sex, and lonely, tragically misunderstood, sexless men reply […]
UBT: ‘It’s Not Who I Am’
Dear Chump Lady, Can you please put this through the Universal Bullshit Translator? I do know what the affair did to you, and I’m sincerely and deeply sorry. If I could go back, I would have done a lot of things very differently. You were extremely negative and controlling (You still are), and you were […]
UBT: My Husband Stopped Cheating on Me After 35 Years
The UBT can’t even. The Universal Bullshit Translator got several requests to shred the Guardian’s “Family” feature (seriously editors, FAMILY? Really?) “My husband has stopped cheating on me after 35 years“. It’s the confessions of a woman who stood for her marriage and at last report has won a decades-long pick me dance. Among the […]
UBT This Jesus Cheater
Dear Chump Lady, So my husband of seven years fed me the fairytale. Everything you would want in a husband he encompassed. He was handsome, loving, supportive, kind, thoughtful, caring — the list could go on. He was also religious, which made me finding his text messages to his girlfriend on Christmas Eve even more fitting. I […]
UBT: “We Are Teachers, Not Demigods”
Dear Chump Lady, I have a small but delicious morsel for the UBT to chew on. I also have a predicament, and I would greatly appreciate your and CN’s feedback. A few years ago my husband — we’re not divorced yet, but will be soon — had a very sexual affair with a coworker. Let’s […]
UBT: “I Miss the Kitties”
Dear Chump Lady, Wow, I can’t get it together. I have tried so very hard , but I do not know why after so many years, 35 to be exact and 2 years post divorce, I’m not doing well. Here is a letter from my ex-husband after I told him I am divorcing him. A […]
UBT the Trust Bank
CN, why haven’t we deconstructed the bullshit trope of the Trust Bank yet? OMG, I’ve let you down! Recently, I got a letter that went like this: Two years into the relationship he left his email open and I found the Craigslist ads, dating site profiles, etc…, but he eagerly agreed to couples counseling and […]
UBT: This Isn’t The Real Me
Ben recently submitted this glorious bit of bullshit from his not-terribly-remorseful wife. She’d like to set the record straight that the woman who cheated on him was NOT her. Well, not the core her anyway. (And if it’s just your genitals cheating, and not your core, it doesn’t count, right?) You’ll all be relieved to know that […]
UBT — He Took the Soup
Hello Chump Lady, I have been an avid follower of your blog since my soon-to-be ex left. We were together nearly 4 years, married for less than a year, when he announced he no longer wanted children, but he couldn’t permit me to give up my dream of becoming a mother (though I offered to […]
UBT: The OW Wants Me to Save My Marriage
The Universal Bullshit Translator is still recovering from its burger-flipping Ruby adventure, but it couldn’t resist this recent submission. (Okay, I had to scratch its quarter panels and sing the “UBT Is So Great” song…) The Other Woman Whose Sole Objective Is Improving Your Marriage. The submission from landingon2feet. E-mail to my spouse on D-Day: […]
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