Category: Universal Bullshit Translator


UBT: “Monogamy Is a Gift”

You know you’re wading in deep bullshit when you see the title “The Unsparing Genius of Esther Perel.” Oh please do spare us such genius. …

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UBT: “There Are No Right Answers in the Aftermath of Infidelity”

Dear God, the UBT has a buffet of crap to choose from. A alert chump sent me this HuffPo article that ran the other week …

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UBT: Joseph’s Letter

If you’ve spent any time on reconciliation boards, you’re familiar with Joseph’s Letter. It was written by a member of a defunct forum “BAN”, but …

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The UBT Takes on Aimee

The other day, Sweetz posted that the Other Woman sent her an email and asked that we decode it for her. By request, I will …

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UBT My Husband’s Craigslist Ad

The Universal Bullshit Translator (UBT) gets some weird submissions, but this one stood out. Chumpified shared her husband’s Craigslist ad. Or, excuse me, one of …

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bitter bunny

The UBT Takes On Mother-In-Laws

How sharper than a serpent’s tooth is it to have a thankless mother-in-law. You raise their grandchildren, consider them family, and spend countless holidays in …

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UBT: I Wish You Were Still Nice

The Universal Bullshit Translator gets a lot of “It’s not what I did, it’s how you reacted” pitchforked into it. Blameshifting lays around in piles. Why …

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UBT: Maybe Our Problem Is We Work Too Well Together

Since yesterday’s post, everyone has been sending me their Universal Bullshit Translator submissions. Oh, the moist, delicious cakey-ness! I chose Andrew’s submission today. It could …

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Stupid Shit Cake Eaters Say

Here’s a new category — Stupid Shit Cake Eaters Say. A chump sent me this lovely text message (name obscured to protect the cake eating) …

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The “Plan B” Offer

If things don’t work out with her, perhaps you and I could work things out. This was in my “Universal Bullshit Translator” requests this morning. …

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Don’t Ask Amy

An alert chump sent me this advice column, “Ask Amy” inquiring “When the Affair Leads to Marriage, Is It Right to Celebrate?” The writer didn’t want …

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