Dear Chump Lady, Why did it take two months after D-Day for my husband of 19 years to come to me crying, apologizing and saying there is no-place else he would rather be than home with me? He left me and my son two months before D-day. I felt it was all a load of […]
Is Limerence a Thing?
Dear Chump Lady, Just curious what your thoughts are about the concept of “limerence”, and especially as it applies to midlife crises. After discovering the concept last year and doing some reading it really resonates with me as to how my 20 year marriage that had seemed so stable and authentic was sabotaged so quickly […]
He Says He ‘Never Went Looking for It’
Dear Chump Lady, I can’t believe I am writing this but I really need some help. 5 weeks ago I discovered my husband was having an emotional affair with a colleague. No sex. But intimate kissing and real emotional connection. They have both said they love each other. She tried to break it off and […]
Why Are They So Petty?
Hi Chump Lady, I’ve been reading your site for a long time now and it’s been really helpful to me especially after my wife left me for another man and took our daughter with her. We’re both in our thirties and married for 7 years with one child who is 5 I’m in the military […]
Standing on Lies
Thank you Dr. Anna Fels! I urge every chump to read the opinion piece in the New York Times “Great Betrayals” by Dr. Fels. It’s the rare article on infidelity that recognizes the traumatic injury of deception — especially the sort we encounter here at Chump Lady — making sense of the double life. Fels […]
Did He Cheat Because He’s Depressed?
Dear Chump Lady, Please help me sort through this mess. Help me get angry! My husband and I were together for 6 years and married for 6 months when he fell into a deep depression and left me to stay with a friend in November. During this time (over an 11-week time span) he pushed […]
UBT: How Do I Get My Gay Cheating Husband to Reconcile?
Dear Chump Lady, Thank you for saving my life. I was suicidal when I read your posts and they knocked me back into reality. I will be eternally grateful. I am severely codependent and I’m trying to work on myself, but still struggling. I would appreciate it if you put his reasons through the Universal […]
Are There Cheaters Who Left No Clues?
Dear Chump Lady, There is a lot of talk on this site and others about how — in retrospect — cheaters left clues that we can now see. Some chumps realize that their ex broke a lot of dates, or were vague about their past, or forgot their birthday, or said really insensitive things. However, in […]
Cheater Word Salad Attacks
Chump Lady used to be a think tank editor in her younger days. Think tank publishing is mostly vanity publishing and not every book was stellar. But I learned an important lesson as a young editor. There was a direct correlation between good writing and clear messages — and bad messages and WTF-is-the-point-here?! word salad. Word […]
Is This Jealousy?
Dear Chump Lady, CN support helped me avoid a mindfuck my husband was trying to impose on me. Thanks to CN, I got up from my knees, hired a detective and in September I am starting the divorce process with judgement of guilt (I live in the EU). Anyway, right now my husband already lives with […]
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