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Standing on Lies

March 1, 2021 by Chump Lady

deception

Thank you Dr. Anna Fels! I urge every chump to read the opinion piece in the New York Times “Great Betrayals” by Dr. Fels. It’s the rare article on infidelity that recognizes the traumatic injury of deception — especially the sort we encounter here at Chump Lady — making sense of the double life. Fels […]

Filed Under: Deception, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Anna Fels, deception, Double life, Untangling the Skein 175 Comments

Did He Cheat Because He’s Depressed?

February 24, 2021 by Chump Lady

wayward

Dear Chump Lady, Please help me sort through this mess. Help me get angry! My husband and I were together for 6 years and married for 6 months when he fell into a deep depression and left me to stay with a friend in November. During this time (over an 11-week time span) he pushed […]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Anger, Deception, Pick me dance, Trust that they suck, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Depression, double betrayal, Mindfuck channels, Pick Me Dance 138 Comments

UBT: How Do I Get My Gay Cheating Husband to Reconcile?

December 1, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, Thank you for saving my life. I was suicidal when I read your posts and they knocked me back into reality. I will be eternally grateful. I am severely codependent and I’m trying to work on myself, but still struggling. I would appreciate it if you put his reasons through the Universal […]

Filed Under: Trust that they suck, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Gay husband, Universal Bullshit Translator

Are There Cheaters Who Left No Clues?

October 27, 2020 by Chump Lady

planet narcissist

Dear Chump Lady, There is a lot of talk on this site and others about how — in retrospect — cheaters left clues that we can now see.  Some chumps realize that their ex broke a lot of dates, or were vague about their past, or forgot their birthday, or said really insensitive things. However, in […]

Filed Under: Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Mid-life crisis, Untangling the Skein

Cheater Word Salad Attacks

September 30, 2020 by Chump Lady

Chump Lady used to be a think tank editor in her younger days. Think tank publishing is mostly vanity publishing and not every book was stellar. But I learned an important lesson as a young editor. There was a direct correlation between good writing and clear messages — and bad messages and WTF-is-the-point-here?! word salad. Word […]

Filed Under: Cheater Tactics, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Word Salad

Is This Jealousy?

August 31, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, CN support helped me avoid a mindfuck my husband was trying to impose on me. Thanks to CN, I got up from my knees, hired a detective and in September I am starting the divorce process with judgement of guilt (I live in the EU). Anyway, right now my husband already lives with […]

Filed Under: No contact, Pick me dance, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Pick Me Dance, Untangling the Skein

Chump Won’t Stop Doing Her Ex Favors

August 24, 2020 by Chump Lady

Hopium

Hello, Chump Lady. I am hoping that you and Chump Nation can help me help a chump. My cousin, who is like a sister to me, was with a loser for over a decade and finally married him a couple of years ago. Less than six months after they were married, he was fucking strange. […]

Filed Under: Hopium, No contact, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Hopium

How Do You Get Past the Revulsion?

July 1, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, Have you ever addressed how to get past the feeling of revulsion or “ick” when you finally see the cheater for who they really are? I was involved with a cheating freak for 8 years. Very covert guy — likeable surgeon that always knew how to navigate social graces with well-placed humor […]

Filed Under: Trust that they suck, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Double life, Trust That They Suck

‘Maybe He Was Right About Me?’

June 8, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I was totally blindsided by my husband a year ago. (Before D-Day I’d say we were a happy marriage, you heard it thousands of times…) He cheated, I was shocked (perfect life we had, right?), antidepressants, reconciliation, later it turns out he was still in contact with his co-worker, then he fell […]

Filed Under: Blameshifting, Trust that they suck, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Blameshifting

He’ll Send Support If She’ll Send Naked Pictures

June 4, 2020 by Chump Lady

Hi Chump Lady, Thanks so much for your blog that always keeps me on track. I have been no contact for 6 months. The peace has been amazing. A few days ago I had to have contact. He found out I had filed for divorce 6 months ago and knew the date it would be […]

Filed Under: Divorce, No contact, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: exortion, Revenge porn

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