A common point of chump bafflement is why we attach so hard when cheaters detach so easily. I get some very, very long letters trying to untangle this particular skein. She told me she loved me, and texted the OM hearts and smileys 30 seconds later. He walked out on four children. I had cancer […]
What Do We See in Narcissists Anyway?
As much as I advise against untangling the skein of fuckupedness, we chumps (myself included) spend a lot of time decoding cheaters, narcissists, and the other assorted wing nuts in our lives. But really, the best policy once you’ve determined someone is toxic is to steer clear. File them under “Creep” and adjust your life […]
Dear Chump Lady, He left me to BLOG with the OW?
Dear Chump Lady, I have a question. I am a bit perplexed. My husband ran off with a married coworker. He’s a true runaway, abandoned the kids and I back in January. A friend sent me a link to a blog today (gotta love the internet). The link opened up to a blog started by […]
Dear Chump Lady, What if there was no sex?
Hi Chump Lady, What would you do if your husband did the following behaviors in an 11 year marriage (two early elementary kids)? He says this is all that ever happened. 1). Went to the strippers about 15 times since the year we had our kids). 2). Had 4 lap dances where strippers put breasts […]
Emotional Affairs, Exit Affairs, and Ghosts
Dear Chump Lady, Can I still be in the CN club? Do I still get to hate my husband as much as everyone else here gets to hate their crappy spouses even though he was “a moral cheater”? Mine didn’t want even want cake….ghosts don’t eat cake. We were married for 5 years, with two […]
Dear Chump Lady, Why does the OW want to meet me?
Hi Chump Lady, I wonder if I could get your take on something that’s bugging me. I am just over a year out from D-Day. My husband had been home a few months from an overseas Army assignment, and I discovered the REAL reason he wanted a divorce had less to do with falling out […]
Dear Chump Lady, Why do cheaters all do the same stupid shit?
Hey Chump Lady, My wife had an affair for a year with a married man. When she told me, she then blamed me for all the bad things I am. Seven months later she decides that we are going to separate as I have been too controlling. When I pressed her on how, she gave […]
Dear Chump Lady, The Other Woman — Who does that?!
Dear Chump Lady, I realize that you have addressed the issue of the Other Woman many times, and yet, here I am, 7 months post-separation, still trying to understand how someone — the OW — could carry on a relationship with a married man. Who does that? I understand that, as much as she sucks, […]
Dear Chump Lady, He wants to move to New Zealand
Dear Chump Lady, We’ve been separated almost 10 months. He has a girlfriend and is still seeing her, as far as I know. He is emotionally constipated. We never talk about anything. He never expressed regret, never said he wanted to be with me. We have three kids, who live with me now. We started […]
Dear Chump Lady, Is she a cheater because of her dad?
Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been chumped for the second time. My soon-to-be-ex Michelle and I first met in high school. At the time I had a huge crush on her, but she was involved with someone. Fast forward to after high school, I had just broken up with my girlfriend of two years. When lo […]
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