Dear Chump Lady, I come to you as perplexed and heartbroken. When you think about how many people experience this kind of betrayal, it is really a sad thing. I had been with my soon-to-be ex-husband for almost six years. Despite his two children from his first marriage, (and another child he found out about […]
Dear Chump Lady, I built my whole life around her
Dear Chump Lady, I’m feeling so lost right now after getting chumped… She left me May 19th saying she didn’t know if she loved me anymore and it’s not my fault, she’s not angry, I did nothing wrong, she just doesn’t know if she wants to be in a relationship right now, she just needed […]
Which Came First, The Dead Marriage or the Affair?
Dear Chump Lady, I spend a lot of time thinking about the chicken and egg question — which came first, the death of the marriage or the affair? My soon-to-be-ex said that it was never good from the beginning, (which would be 35 years ago). I know that isn’t true, but I don’t know when things started to go bad. […]
Dear Chump Lady, She changed him
Dear Chump Lady, I want to first say that I am SERIOUSLY thankful for your blog. I found it a little too late, and pick-me danced too long, but once I found it, I suddenly found the courage to stay strong and give up on the ‘perfect family’ dream. When I found you, it was […]
Dear Chump Lady, He claims he still loves me
Dear Chump Lady, You may have addressed this in the past. I’m leaving a partner of 43 years whom I’ve learned has been visiting prostitutes for years while claiming to still have loved me the entire time. Just writing that gives me a clue, however I would still value your feedback. Bonnie Dear Bonnie, I […]
Dear Chump Lady, Am I the toxic one?
Dear Chump Lady: I’m not sure it’s possible to get through this nightmare of truth-trickling and gaslighting without picking up a maladaptive strategy or two. But I am really really ready to put them down now. From raking him about his movements to stalking his social media, I am starting to resemble the Eight Signs […]
Dear Chump Lady, I feel like she traded up
Dear Chump Lady, I’m a multiple D-Day chump. Like many of us chumps I regularly engaged in the pick-me dance for my cake eater—talk about degrading. I’m approximately four months out from the last D-Day and it’s been two months since filing for divorce. I’ve been going to therapy and ingesting anti-depressant pills for the […]
UBT: Why Happy People Cheat
I’m sure you’re all curious “Why Happy People Cheat.” ChumpPrincess sent me a link from the Good Men Project with that title. The UBT groaned, “Haven’t I regurgitated this bullshit before?” Probably. There are about a bazillion exact titles of Why Happy People Cheat on the interwebs, from the Atlantic Monthly to Psychology Today to Esther […]
Playing the Victim?
Dear Chump Lady, During my shock of learning and trying to understand why he cheated on me, when I thought we had a great relationship (he was full of remorse after girlfriend #1 and begged for forgiveness..) — he is now leaving me for girlfriend #2. I have stated the obvious to him that what […]
Dear Chump Lady, The OW gave me a brownie plate
Dear Chump Lady, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cover this topic, and my fellow chumpy friends and I are mystified by this behavior… Schmoopie (the one that my husband/partner of 23 years left me for last year) gives ME (the chumpy ex-wife) gifts! What the…..? I have never met Schmoopie in person. She […]
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