Dear Chump Lady, I dated a guy this year, for almost a year, and about 1.5 months ago he broke up with me. I’m divorced (10 yrs ago, emotionally and verbally abusive ex-h) no kids. He has a kid, and has been divorced about 5 years. Upon reflection (probably with the rose colored glasses still […]
Was Anything Real?
Dear Chump Lady, My D-Day was in April when my daughter was 4 months old. My FW blames me for ignoring his needs since I was pregnant and too focused on the baby. I asked him what he wanted from me, and he looked at me and the baby, and said I can’t give him […]
Why Do Affair Partners Stalk Chumps?
Hi Chump Lady, Life is good at five years post-divorce. I haven’t talked to or seen ex since the settlement signing/final appearance in front of a judge. The few post-settlement issues have been resolved at my end by telephone court appearance, which is nice because there is no way in hell I’d be able otherwise. […]
He Took the OW on Vacation
Dear Chump Lady My husband, a school principal, cheated on me with his secretary, we are trying to work things out. He took his lover to Santa Barbara because “she wanted to go there.” I like traveling and he gives me a hard time about when and where we go and how much everything cost. […]
Caught Him on the DoggyCam
Dear Chump Lady, First I just want to say I literally love you and your site has brought me so much comic relief into the shit storm my life is right now. I was with my soon-to-be-ex-husband for 12 years (together 11 and married 9 months). We had a great relationship, we went to high […]
He Doesn’t Hoover, He Rages
Hi Chump Lady, I’m 2.5 years out from D-Day (3-year affair with his assistant), divorce final a month ago, 20 year marriage, 2 great kids, one who is almost 19, the other is 15, which keeps us in limited contact. I did all the things we chumps do: pick me danced for a year, although […]
Why Can’t I Get Them Out of My Head?
Dear Chump Lady, I need your take on what is still happening to me nearly eight years after D-day. I went no contact almost immediately. My cheater had asked for a sort of break (we called it a vacation, I think– she said out of the blue ‘I just want to see what my life […]
Why Does He Keep Changing His Mind About Reconciliation?
Dear Chump Lady, Why did it take two months after D-Day for my husband of 19 years to come to me crying, apologizing and saying there is no-place else he would rather be than home with me? He left me and my son two months before D-day. I felt it was all a load of […]
Is Limerence a Thing?
Dear Chump Lady, Just curious what your thoughts are about the concept of “limerence”, and especially as it applies to midlife crises. After discovering the concept last year and doing some reading it really resonates with me as to how my 20 year marriage that had seemed so stable and authentic was sabotaged so quickly […]
He Says He ‘Never Went Looking for It’
Dear Chump Lady, I can’t believe I am writing this but I really need some help. 5 weeks ago I discovered my husband was having an emotional affair with a colleague. No sex. But intimate kissing and real emotional connection. They have both said they love each other. She tried to break it off and […]
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