ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life

Is This Jealousy?

by

Dear Chump Lady, CN support helped me avoid a mindfuck my husband was trying to impose on me. Thanks to CN, I got up from my knees, hired a detective and in September I am starting the divorce process with judgement of guilt (I live in the EU). Anyway, right now my husband already lives with […]

How Do You Get Past the Revulsion?

by

Dear Chump Lady, Have you ever addressed how to get past the feeling of revulsion or “ick” when you finally see the cheater for who they really are? I was involved with a cheating freak for 8 years. Very covert guy — likeable surgeon that always knew how to navigate social graces with well-placed humor […]

‘Maybe He Was Right About Me?’

by

Dear Chump Lady, I was totally blindsided by my husband a year ago. (Before D-Day I’d say we were a happy marriage, you heard it thousands of times…) He cheated, I was shocked (perfect life we had, right?), antidepressants, reconciliation, later it turns out he was still in contact with his co-worker, then he fell […]

He’ll Send Support If She’ll Send Naked Pictures

by

Hi Chump Lady, Thanks so much for your blog that always keeps me on track. I have been no contact for 6 months. The peace has been amazing. A few days ago I had to have contact. He found out I had filed for divorce 6 months ago and knew the date it would be […]

When You Need Cheater Twu Wuv to Fail

by

We’re all about Meh here at CN — that Promised Land of acceptance where the pain stops and you don’t really care what your cheater does any more, or with whom. That said, a lot of chumps wouldn’t mind an exit ramp to Schadenfreude. “D-Day was 6 months ago and I’m fine… I just want […]

What Do I Do with the Phantom Pain of Abandonment?

by

Dear Chump Lady, First, thank you. Your truth is like a laser ripping through the threads of the tangled skein I’ve struggled with for three years. I’m two years out from divorce after a torturous separation. I’m guilty of reality-bending, crippling doubt, doing the pick-me dance for ages — leading to self-loathing that took years […]

Did She Cheat Because She’s Bipolar?

by

Hi Chump Lady, You have a very unique perspective about infidelity that I appreciate, even though it directly contradicts everything I’ve tried to convince myself of to stay with my wife. My wife had an affair at work, literally at work, for almost a month. After she was forced to finally confess by taking her […]

‘He’s a Different Person Than I Used to Know’

by

Dear Chump Lady, The past several months have been some of the worst of my life. Three months after having a baby, I discovered that my husband had some sort of relationship with the 46-year-old neighbor across the street. We had just moved in and got married when I was pregnant, so he immediately started […]

Is He Gay? A Lost Soul? A Sex Addict?

by

Dear Chump Lady, I’m writing to you as I was forwarded your website by my therapist. I found myself in a shrink’s chair when I caught my husband out meeting a gay man he had found on Adam4Adam. My husband and I have been together for seven years, married for 2.3, separated since Valentines Day. […]