Thank you Dr. Anna Fels! I urge every chump to read the opinion piece in the New York Times “Great Betrayals” by Dr. Fels. It’s the rare article on infidelity that recognizes the traumatic injury of deception — especially the sort we encounter here at Chump Lady — making sense of the double life. Fels […]
Did He Cheat Because He’s Depressed?
Dear Chump Lady, Please help me sort through this mess. Help me get angry! My husband and I were together for 6 years and married for 6 months when he fell into a deep depression and left me to stay with a friend in November. During this time (over an 11-week time span) he pushed […]
UBT: How Do I Get My Gay Cheating Husband to Reconcile?
Dear Chump Lady, Thank you for saving my life. I was suicidal when I read your posts and they knocked me back into reality. I will be eternally grateful. I am severely codependent and I’m trying to work on myself, but still struggling. I would appreciate it if you put his reasons through the Universal […]
Are There Cheaters Who Left No Clues?
Dear Chump Lady, There is a lot of talk on this site and others about how — in retrospect — cheaters left clues that we can now see. Some chumps realize that their ex broke a lot of dates, or were vague about their past, or forgot their birthday, or said really insensitive things. However, in […]
Cheater Word Salad Attacks
Chump Lady used to be a think tank editor in her younger days. Think tank publishing is mostly vanity publishing and not every book was stellar. But I learned an important lesson as a young editor. There was a direct correlation between good writing and clear messages — and bad messages and WTF-is-the-point-here?! word salad. Word […]
Is This Jealousy?
Dear Chump Lady, CN support helped me avoid a mindfuck my husband was trying to impose on me. Thanks to CN, I got up from my knees, hired a detective and in September I am starting the divorce process with judgement of guilt (I live in the EU). Anyway, right now my husband already lives with […]
Chump Won’t Stop Doing Her Ex Favors
Hello, Chump Lady. I am hoping that you and Chump Nation can help me help a chump. My cousin, who is like a sister to me, was with a loser for over a decade and finally married him a couple of years ago. Less than six months after they were married, he was fucking strange. […]
How Do You Get Past the Revulsion?
Dear Chump Lady, Have you ever addressed how to get past the feeling of revulsion or “ick” when you finally see the cheater for who they really are? I was involved with a cheating freak for 8 years. Very covert guy — likeable surgeon that always knew how to navigate social graces with well-placed humor […]
‘Maybe He Was Right About Me?’
Dear Chump Lady, I was totally blindsided by my husband a year ago. (Before D-Day I’d say we were a happy marriage, you heard it thousands of times…) He cheated, I was shocked (perfect life we had, right?), antidepressants, reconciliation, later it turns out he was still in contact with his co-worker, then he fell […]
He’ll Send Support If She’ll Send Naked Pictures
Hi Chump Lady, Thanks so much for your blog that always keeps me on track. I have been no contact for 6 months. The peace has been amazing. A few days ago I had to have contact. He found out I had filed for divorce 6 months ago and knew the date it would be […]
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