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‘He Didn’t Suck’

January 20, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, Finding your webpage was the best thing happened to me lately as I was about to lose my sanity. I spent hours reading about people’s stories, but I did not come across a case similar to mine, so I am still struggling. I know this is long, but I do not know […]

Filed Under: Cake Eating, Trust that they suck, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Trust That They Suck

‘We Had a Good Life. Why Did He Cheat?’

November 26, 2019 by Chump Lady

Serial cheater

Dear Chump Lady, I come to you as perplexed and heartbroken. When you think about how many people experience this kind of betrayal, it is really a sad thing. I had been with my soon-to-be ex-husband for almost six years. Despite his two children from his first marriage, (and another child he found out about […]

Filed Under: Early days after discovery, How to leave a cheater, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Double life, How to leave a cheater, Untangling the Skein, Why happy people cheat

Dear Chump Lady, I built my whole life around her

September 11, 2019 by Chump Lady

broken heart

Dear Chump Lady, I’m feeling so lost right now after getting chumped… She left me May 19th saying she didn’t know if she loved me anymore and it’s not my fault, she’s not angry, I did nothing wrong, she just doesn’t know if she wants to be in a relationship right now, she just needed […]

Filed Under: Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Resilience, Starting over, Untangling the Skein

Which Came First, The Dead Marriage or the Affair?

August 8, 2019 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I spend a lot of time thinking about the chicken and egg question — which  came first, the death of the marriage or the affair? My soon-to-be-ex said that it was never good from the beginning, (which would be 35 years ago). I know that isn’t true, but I don’t know when things started to go bad. […]

Filed Under: Trust that they suck, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Blameshifting, divorce

Dear Chump Lady, She changed him

July 9, 2019 by Chump Lady

Hopium

Dear Chump Lady, I want to first say that I am SERIOUSLY thankful for your blog. I found it a little too late, and pick-me danced too long, but once I found it, I suddenly found the courage to stay strong and give up on the ‘perfect family’ dream. When I found you, it was […]

Filed Under: Other Women, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Cancer Cheaters, Hopium, Other Woman, Untangling the Skein

Dear Chump Lady, He claims he still loves me

June 6, 2019 by Chump Lady

Untangling the skein of fuckupedness

Dear Chump Lady, You may have addressed this in the past. I’m leaving a partner of 43 years whom I’ve learned has been visiting prostitutes for years while claiming to still have loved me the entire time. Just writing that gives me a clue, however I would still value your feedback. Bonnie Dear Bonnie, I […]

Filed Under: Sex addiction, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Prostitution, Sex addiction

Dear Chump Lady, Am I the toxic one?

May 1, 2019 by Chump Lady

broken heart

Dear Chump Lady: I’m not sure it’s possible to get through this nightmare of truth-trickling and gaslighting without picking up a maladaptive strategy or two. But I am really really ready to put them down now. From raking him about his movements to stalking his social media, I am starting to resemble the Eight Signs […]

Filed Under: Chumps Decoded, No contact, Trust that they suck, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness, What Not to Do Tagged With: Hypervigilance

Dear Chump Lady, I feel like she traded up

April 29, 2019 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I’m a multiple D-Day chump. Like many of us chumps I regularly engaged in the pick-me dance for my cake eater—talk about degrading. I’m approximately four months out from the last D-Day and it’s been two months since filing for divorce. I’ve been going to therapy and ingesting anti-depressant pills for the […]

Filed Under: Other Man, Trust that they suck, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Trust That They Suck

UBT: Why Happy People Cheat

April 24, 2019 by Chump Lady

I’m sure you’re all curious “Why Happy People Cheat.” ChumpPrincess sent me a link from the Good Men Project with that title. The UBT groaned, “Haven’t I regurgitated this bullshit before?” Probably. There are about a bazillion exact titles of Why Happy People Cheat on the interwebs, from the Atlantic Monthly to Psychology Today to Esther […]

Filed Under: Quacks, Reconciliation, universal bullshit translator, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Universal Bullshit Translator, Why happy people cheat

Playing the Victim?

February 12, 2019 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, During my shock of learning and trying to understand why he cheated on me, when I thought we had a great relationship (he was full of remorse after girlfriend #1 and begged for forgiveness..) — he is now leaving me for girlfriend #2. I have stated the obvious to him that what […]

Filed Under: Anger, Blameshifting, No contact, Trust that they suck, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Blameshifting, playing the victim

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