Category: Untangling the Skein

mindfuck

I Need to Know the OW’s Identity

Dear Chump Lady, I learned last year that FW had been engaging in an emotional affair and physical affair for 6 months. He’s a massage …

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judging you

He Runs Me Down to Our Daughter

Dear Chump Lady, I’m 5 years into this shitshow now and mostly am fairly chilled about everything, albeit with the occasional trigger that sets me …

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timid forest creature

‘Broken’ Cheater Cheats Again

Dear Chump Lady, I need help, I know I do. My beloved wife of 26 years has cheated on me. Again. The first time was …

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He Was Not As Advertised

Dear Chump Lady, I dated a guy this year, for almost a year, and about 1.5 months ago he broke up with me. I’m divorced …

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Untangling the skein of fuckupedness

Was Anything Real?

Dear Chump Lady, My D-Day was in April when my daughter was 4 months old. My FW blames me for ignoring his needs since I …

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Untangling the skein of fuckupedness

Why Do Affair Partners Stalk Chumps?

Hi Chump Lady, Life is good at five years post-divorce. I haven’t talked to or seen ex since the settlement signing/final appearance in front of …

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vacations

He Took the OW on Vacation

Dear Chump Lady My husband, a school principal, cheated on me with his secretary, we are trying to work things out. He took his lover …

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Bulldog

Caught Him on the DoggyCam

Dear Chump Lady, First I just want to say I literally love you and your site has brought me so much comic relief into the …

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mindfuck

He Doesn’t Hoover, He Rages

Hi Chump Lady,  I’m 2.5 years out from D-Day (3-year affair with his assistant), divorce final a month ago, 20 year marriage, 2 great kids, …

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panopticon

Why Can’t I Get Them Out of My Head?

Dear Chump Lady, I need your take on what is still happening to me nearly eight years after D-day. I went no contact almost immediately. …

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chasing unicorn

Why Does He Keep Changing His Mind About Reconciliation?

Dear Chump Lady, Why did it take two months after D-Day for my husband of 19 years to come to me crying, apologizing and saying …

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schmoopies

Is Limerence a Thing?

Dear Chump Lady, Just curious what your thoughts are about the concept of “limerence”, and especially as it applies to midlife crises. After discovering the …

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He Says He ‘Never Went Looking for It’

Dear Chump Lady, I can’t believe I am writing this but I really need some help. 5 weeks ago I discovered my husband was having …

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Narcissist Goldfish

Why Are They So Petty?

Hi Chump Lady, I’ve been reading your site for a long time now and it’s been really helpful to me especially after my wife left …

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deception

Standing on Lies

Thank you Dr. Anna Fels! I urge every chump to read the opinion piece in the New York Times “Great Betrayals” by Dr. Fels. It’s …

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wayward

Did He Cheat Because He’s Depressed?

Dear Chump Lady, Please help me sort through this mess. Help me get angry! My husband and I were together for 6 years and married …

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Waiting for karma

Gain a Life Version 2021

Every year I run this on New Year’s Day. Happy New Beginnings, CN! *** Get over it. The three words chumps hate to hear. “Get …

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Voodoo doll

Why Is He So Mad at Me?

Dear Chump Lady, My husband and I were together for 8 years. We moved overseas together shortly after our wedding 2 years ago, so I …

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chasing unicorn

UBT: How Do I Get My Gay Cheating Husband to Reconcile?

Dear Chump Lady, Thank you for saving my life. I was suicidal when I read your posts and they knocked me back into reality. I …

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planet narcissist

Are There Cheaters Who Left No Clues?

Dear Chump Lady, There is a lot of talk on this site and others about how — in retrospect — cheaters left clues that we …

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