Category: Untangling the Skein

Dear Chump Lady, I feel like she traded up

Dear Chump Lady, I’m a multiple D-Day chump. Like many of us chumps I regularly engaged in the pick-me dance for my cake eater—talk about …

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UBT: Why Happy People Cheat

I’m sure you’re all curious “Why Happy People Cheat.” ChumpPrincess sent me a link from the Good Men Project with that title. The UBT groaned, “Haven’t …

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Playing the Victim?

Dear Chump Lady, During my shock of learning and trying to understand why he cheated on me, when I thought we had a great relationship …

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Dear Chump Lady, The OW gave me a brownie plate

Dear Chump Lady, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cover this topic, and my fellow chumpy friends and I are mystified by this behavior… …

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cheater overlap

“Do Cheaters All Work from the Same Script?”

Dear Chump Lady, After faithfully reading this blog and thinking about all that we have been through I still have questions. 1. How did all …

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cyclops lonely

Dear Chump Lady, Was I THAT bad?

Hi Chump Lady, I’m a chump, my ex-wife cheated on me with a man twice her age, 59, and then left me and moved in …

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Out of Sight, Out of Mind

A common point of chump bafflement is why we attach so hard when cheaters detach so easily. I get some very, very long letters trying …

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What Do We See in Narcissists Anyway?

As much as I advise against untangling the skein of fuckupedness, we chumps (myself included) spend a lot of time decoding cheaters, narcissists, and the …

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Dear Chump Lady, He left me to BLOG with the OW?

Dear Chump Lady, I have a question. I am a bit perplexed. My husband ran off with a married coworker. He’s a true runaway, abandoned …

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bitch cookie

Dear Chump Lady, What if there was no sex?

Hi Chump Lady, What would you do if your husband did the following behaviors in an 11 year marriage (two early elementary kids)? He says …

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Emotional Affairs, Exit Affairs, and Ghosts

Dear Chump Lady, Can I still be in the CN club? Do I still get to hate my husband as much as everyone else here …

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Dear Chump Lady, Why does the OW want to meet me?

Hi Chump Lady, I wonder if I could get your take on something that’s bugging me. I am just over a year out from D-Day. …

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Narcissist Goldfish

Dear Chump Lady, Why do cheaters all do the same stupid shit?

Hey Chump Lady, My wife had an affair for a year with a married man. When she told me, she then blamed me for all …

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Dear Chump Lady, The Other Woman — Who does that?!

Dear Chump Lady, I realize that you have addressed the issue of the Other Woman many times, and yet, here I am, 7 months post-separation, …

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planet narcissist

Dear Chump Lady, He wants to move to New Zealand

Dear Chump Lady, We’ve been separated almost 10 months. He has a girlfriend and is still seeing her, as far as I know. He is …

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Dear Chump Lady, Is she a cheater because of her dad?

Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been chumped for the second time. My soon-to-be-ex Michelle and I first met in high school. At the time I had …

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Rejection man

Dear Chump Lady, Can’t quite shake the rejection…

Dear Chump Lady, Long-timer lurker, first-time writer. Post-abandonment three main issues keep reverberating around my head: 1. My ex’s (geographically distant) family didn’t say goodbye. …

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Waiting for karma

Dead Cheaters and Terrible Discoveries

There’s a subset of chumps — those whose D-Days come after their cheaters’ deaths. The bastards take it to the grave… and the grave gives …

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OW walk

Dear Chump Lady, What are OW thinking?

Hi Chump Lady! Your website has been extremely helpful on my journey to recovery from my STBXH cheating on me while I was pregnant and …

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Dear Chump Lady, How do I stop feeling sorry for him?

Dear Chump Lady It took 5 years to divorce the ex and father of our daughter after he suddenly thought it fun to beat our …

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