Category: Untangling the Skein

Dear Chump Lady, I need to hear her say she was wrong

Dear Chump Lady, For some reason I have an incredible need to be validated and vindicated as being “right” about things by my ex. I …

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FaceBook Is Not Helping You Move On

Previous generations of people got to break up and never see the jerks in their lives ever again. A hundred years ago, if you were …

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Dear Chump Lady, Am I guilty of splitting too?

Dear Chump Lady, This letter was spurred by your post about Love, The All Purpose Spackle. My problem is kind of the opposite. I’ve been …

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Early Wing Nut Warning Signs

Wouldn’t it be nice if every toxic person just came with a giant forehead tattoo? Then you could really sort the wheat from the chaff. …

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The Futility of Confronting Affair Partners

Here’s a common chump mistake — confronting the affair partner(s). Maybe you did this. Maybe you agonized about doing this. Maybe you’re still waiting to …

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Your Beautiful, Beautiful Brokenness

Here is a particularly toxic batch of spackle I see a lot. Making a virtue out of loving the “brokenness.” Maybe it’s because I once …

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Dear Chump Lady, How do I know what kind of person he is?

Dear Chump Lady, How do you know if someone is a horrible fucking person or maybe you’re just upset because he’s betrayed you? Where do …

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Dear Chump Lady, Now she forgets?

Dear Chumplady , Some sage advice please. Twenty years ago, I got involved with a woman who had been a long time friend of mine …

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The Canard That Cheaters Have Low Self Esteem

If you spend any time on reconciliation boards, you’ll read a lot of creative excuses being thrown around about the deep shame and inadequacy that …

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It’s All Very Complicated… You Wouldn’t Understand

One thing that baffles me about cheating is that people think it is “complicated.” There’s even a relationship designation for that on online dating sites …

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Untangling the Skein

Veronica Sawyer: Heather, why can’t you just be a friend? Why do you have to be such a mega-bitch? Heather Duke: Because I can be. …

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