Leave a cheater, gain a life
When the Reconciliation Industrial Complex describes infidelity, it invariably minimizes the experience as a “mistake” or worse — a magical path of cheater self-discovery (a la Esther Perel’s “exuberant acts of defiance.”) In any case, monogamy isn’t natural and you’d best stop your sniveling and ask yourself what you did to be so unlovable. While […]
I’m sorry. I hate “conscious uncoupling.” On the one hand, I’m thrilled this bit of word salad is getting the snark and derision it so rightly deserves, on the other hand the notion that divorce should be free of baser emotions like grief and anger is still a solid part of our culture. In fact, […]
Hi guys, while I’m in Australia, I’m running some guest posts. This one is from UXWorld, where he UBTs a particularly sad sausage missive from his cheating ex-wife. Enjoy! — Tracy “Dear Ex-Husband, The last time I saw you were we still married. Then instantly we weren’t. We, with the word of the judge, became […]
While I’m jetting towards Australia, I’m running a guest column today by CN member “Lola Granola.” Enjoy! — Tracy Too often when we are on the receiving end of cheating, it’s at the end of a long process of devaluation and discard. Sometimes it’s not –- sometimes we are blindsided in what we thought was […]
After infidelity, I’m rather skeptical of the old adage “opposites attract.” I’d advise just the opposite really — find someone in your own values tribe. No two people share everything, of course. My husband’s love of Texas, for example. Tornadoes? Okay. Scorpions? Sure! Ten-year droughts? Bring it! Rat snakes? No worries. Jalapeños? Loves it. Oppressive heat? DEAL […]
Hey! Just a note to let you all know Mr. CL and I are shoving off for Australia on Monday. The blog will be in capable hands, don’t worry. I just locked and loaded two-weeks worth of columns — original stuff, some CN guest posts (Lola Granola and UXworld!), and some reruns thrown in. I’ll […]
Stabby asked a good rhetorical question this week about her cheating ex who was blatantly appropriating her work — WHERE IS THE SHAME?! Really, we could put this question to a lot of scenarios. Sexting pictures of your wrinkly junk to randos? WHERE IS YOUR SHAME, SIR! Walking out on your children for your fuckbuddy? […]
We’re all about Meh here at CN — that Promised Land of acceptance where the pain stops and you don’t really care what your cheater does any more, or with whom. That said, a lot of chumps wouldn’t mind an exit ramp to Schadenfreude. “D-Day was 6 months ago and I’m fine… I just want […]
After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater is sorry or not sorry, the infidelity is a deal breaker. If you choose reconciliation, however, the matter of How Sorry Are They comes to the forefront of the decision. […]
Dear Chump Lady, My ex cheated on me relentlessly, with a mind-boggling amount of women. We had four D-days before I had the strength to get the hell out of there, so yes, I’m a super chump. It’s been a couple of years, but he still reaches out and seems clueless as to why I […]
