So the other day we shared our mortifying, hallucinogenic hopium trips. Many of us (raising my hand) wrote humiliating letters entreating our exes to recommit to the marriage, or we hard sold them on our children or ourselves, or made cringe-worthy promises that we would change if only the cheater would quit cheating. We accepted […]
The Unlikelihood of True Remorse
There’s an article over at HuffPo on how a cheater should tell their spouse they’ve been having an affair. There’s some discussion on tell versus don’t tell. (I’m not going there — duh, TELL. Yes. Of course.) But what interested me about the interview with Dr. Scott Haltzmann is his peculiar warning that cheaters might […]
This Is Your Brain on Hopium
Hopium is a powerful drug. You can hand a chump the most desperate set of circumstances, and goddamn it, that chump will work with it. Let’s just give it a year! I owe it to us to try! Sure, I can ionize my needs into tiny, undetectable particles! You’ll never get a whiff of my anger, […]
Dear Chump Lady, I’m obsessed with the tall, blonde Other Woman
Hello, I have this unhealthy obsession over the woman my ex-boyfriend of two years left me for. A year after it happened I still cannot get them out of my mind. She was married and left her husband and two kids to be with my now ex. I’m pretty sure he started the whole thing […]
UBT: “I can’t remember”
Probably no other statement gets sent to the Universal Bullshit Translator more than “I can’t remember.” What is it about cheating that fogs the mind? (Did all that boinking lead to traumatic brain injury?) Here are some possible UBTs and manipulations around “I can’t remember.” I can’t remember. I totally remember, but I’ll be goddamned […]
Happy Father’s Day!
Hey, I just wanted to wish all our chump dads and step-dads out there a very happy Father’s Day! If you’re going through the infidelity and divorce crucible right now, and the Hallmark bonhomie of Intact Family Celebrations turns you off, please know it gets better. Like I tell all the moms on Mother’s Day, […]
Strange Bedfellows
Today’s not-so-fun Friday challenge is to share the unseen ways in which your cheater rubbed their affair in your face. The secret frissons of duper’s delight your cheater got wearing the heart necklace the Other Man gave her, or how his “art” hung on wall. Perhaps you did the affair partner’s taxes or gave free […]
UBT: Esther Perel on Beyonce’s Lemonade
Chump Lady had a very late night last night, and couldn’t craft sentences this morning even if you put a gun to her head or threatened to take away her pinecone elves. So today you get a rerun. But as the Universal Bullshit Translator has so many fans, I thought I’d run the greatest bullshit […]
UBT: Let’s just forget and forgive
Janice sent a long volley of cheater texts to the Universal Bullshit Translator on the theme of Janice’s inability to appreciate a fabulous reconciliation offer. It’s a small thing the cheater asks of Janice — stop being “angry, bitter, and vengeful.” Perhaps if Janice could quit being a controlling harridan, she might have shot here. […]
Dear Chump Lady, Why does he hate me?
Hi Chump Lady, My ex cheated with Schmoopie, up-ed and left what I thought was the perfect life, home, and family, to move three hours away from me and my three amazing young girls to move in with a twice-divorced home-wrecking whore and her two kids. I’ve been fighting him now in court and through […]
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