Hi Chump Lady, I’ve recently discovered my partner of 5 years and brand new husband is a sex addict. He has cheated on me in massage parlours and with escorts numerous times, and cheated on his ex-wife 20+ times (she didn’t know. I found the email trail. He’d been writing fucking REVIEWS of them!!) Once […]
5 Things That Keep You Stuck with a Cheater
Are you on the fence about leaving a cheater? Is this not their first rodeo? Here are some common traps that keep you stuck with a cheater and prevent you from moving on. 1. Hope. Codependency has been described as the addiction to the POTENTIAL of things. Are you hooked on a cheater’s potential? Wow, […]
He sees prostitutes. She’s ‘stuck in a fog’.
Dear Chump Lady I’ve been in an over 40-year marriage in which I’ve invested a lot of emotional equity. My husband was unfaithful from the very start of when I meet him. I knew and should have run then but…..in my fairy tale mind, I thought I could change him. I thought my pure and […]
‘He Brought His Girlfriend And I Lost My Meh’
Dear Chump Lady, I’ve done a ton of work on myself, I’m slowly reaching meh, and I’m practicing no contact as much as is possible when doing shared care/parenting with a disordered cheater fucktoid. But then I find myself in a situation like today — youngest child’s school concert and cheater fucktoid rocks up with […]
Returning to Caretake a Cheater Late in Life?
Dear Chump Lady, Yesterday I was speaking with a friend of mine who is now 82 and she mentioned she had moved to the nearby senior citizen home to take care of the person who had abandoned her for another woman. The abandonment took place over 30 years earlier. I wouldn’t be wondering about it, […]
Is Monogamy Abuse?
Dear Chump Lady The thing that I wanted to talk to you about has nothing to do with cheating, but everything to do with monogamy. Right now in mainstream media monogamy is being called outdated and regressive. If you want monogamous relationship you are deemed insecure, controlling, unloving and on… Is monogamy abuse? Do you […]
Red Flags You Overlooked?
Today’s Friday Challenge is brought to you by Spackle! It brightens! It whitens! Do you have some unsightly behavior you need covering? SPACKLE! *** Every healthy relationship possess a small degree of spackle. You overlook the bad morning breath, the way she leaves her shoes everywhere, how he drives 10 miles under the speed limit. […]
The ‘If You Aren’t Nicer’ Threat
People still submit one-liners of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say to me. Got this one yesterday: “If you aren’t nicer to me, I’m going to cheat on you.” Let’s decode it, shall we? It’s only sentence, but therein lies so much crap. “If you aren’t nicer to me…” Implies what he does or does not do […]
‘I Fail to Understand Your Hostility’
There is no mindfuck like the I Fail to Understand Your Hostility mindfuck. As mindfucks go, it’s Jedi-level mindfuckery. Oh sure your lesser manipulator can sputter some pathetic lies, or shrug and play dumb. The IFTUYH mindfucker, however, is one cool customer. Zero adaptive anxiety. Your inchoate rage just bounces off their wall of smug. This crazy […]
The Family Next Door
I’ve gotten a few notes asking me if I’d seen the new Netflix documentary American Murder: The Family Next Door about the murder of Shan’ann Watts and her two children by her cheating sociopathic husband, Chris Watts. As cheating sociopaths are my particular wheelhouse, I watched it last night. Apologies to any of CN who […]
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