Dear Chump Lady, Can you please put this through the Universal Bullshit Translator? I do know what the affair did to you, and I’m sincerely and deeply sorry. If I could go back, I would have done a lot of things very differently. You were extremely negative and controlling (You still are), and you were […]
His Family Says ‘I Should Be Happy for Him’
Dear Chump Lady, My ex lives 12 hours behind me in the Philippines, with the “Only One True Love Of My Life”, (at least that’s how he described her to my family members within 2 weeks of meeting her online and parading her picture around). He moved out of our home with less than 12 […]
Lies Are Exhausting
Another primer in mindfuckery today, and that is exhaustion as manipulation tactic. If you’re a cheater and you want your chump to back off? Keep ’em running in circles, chasing unicorn (tails) tales. How is this accomplished? With a constant barrage of bullshit, half-truths, outright lies, indignation, and the ol’ I Fail to Understand Your […]
‘Should I Divorce Him?’
Dear Chump Lady, My husband of 15 years had been having an affair for over three years. Should I divorce him? I feel like our marriage is over, but I haven’t left him yet. I threw my wedding ring into a canyon in Utah, but I’m still living with him and clinging to the idea that […]
Help Me Build a Better Support Site
It’s 3 a.m., you’re in early discovery stages of chumpdom, and you’re Googling to understand, chances are you’re going to hit a lot of Reconciliation Industrial Complex sites. Send me $399 and I’ll affair-proof your marriage! Just sign up for my Fuckwit Busters Marriage Retreat! Do you lack sophistication? Mate outside of captivity! I built […]
‘How Do I Know Friends Won’t Betray Me?’
Dear Chump Lady, I am a year and a half out from discovery and four months since divorce. I am strictly keeping no contact. I’m pretty happy for the most part. One thing that I’m struggling with is inner conflict when making friends. During discovery, I found out that my husband had been cheating on […]
How to Save Your Marriage After Infidelity
(No, not really. I’m just trying to mess with Google Analytics today.) Many people tell me they wish they’d found Chump Lady sooner, before their ex inflicted another affair/ran off with the 401K/impregnated the schmoopie — but alas they were googling “How to save my marriage” instead of “How to leave a cheater.” So, all you […]
Are ‘Emotional Friendships’ with Other Women Cheating?
Dear Chump Lady, I’m eternally grateful to my friends for directing me to your site, even though it complicates most of the advice I’ve been hearing about my marriage. Here’s my situation: I’ve been married to John for 9 years. We have an infant son. About four months ago, John told me he and one […]
Spending Holidays with Your Ex ‘For The Children’
Chump Lady, Can you do a post about having to spend holidays with the ex or not see your kids? I’m in another chat room for new moms. All the ladies there are talking about divorced parents and how they need to suck it up and hang out together for Christmas or not see their […]
Secret Names of Cell Phone Mystery
Hey Chump Lady! In my chump mind I have thought this could be a Friday challenge…. What was Other Person saved as under your spouse’s phone contacts? Mine was ‘Home Office’ and I often handed his phone to him and left the room so he could have privacy!!! 🙄 neversawitcoming33 Well, I don’t know if […]
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