ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life

Chump Lady Gets a Check

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A little miracle happened Friday night — and I wanted to post and say thank you to Chump Nation. I came home from work, went through the stack of mail, and found a letter that looked rather ominously official. It was from the literary agency that represents my book — Leave a Cheater, Gain a […]

Therapy Fails?

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Most chumps have tried therapy with fuckwits. No knock on the mental health profession, but therapists are not wizards. They aren’t going to hand out hearts, brains, and courage. You either bring that stuff to the shrink sofa, or you don’t. So today’s Fun (?) Friday Challenge is to share your Therapy Fails. It can […]

How Do I Gain a Life Before the Divorce Is Final?

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Hi Chump Lady, I’d love yours and the input of CN on the transition between Leaving the Cheater and Gaining the Life. I feel I’m in transit, like I boarded the plane to Meh on Monday, and I’m about to touch down into Tuesday with a few bags and a little bit of hope. It’s […]

Dear Chump Lady, I built my whole life around her

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Dear Chump Lady, I’m feeling so lost right now after getting chumped… She left me May 19th saying she didn’t know if she loved me anymore and it’s not my fault, she’s not angry, I did nothing wrong, she just doesn’t know if she wants to be in a relationship right now, she just needed […]

UBT This Jesus Cheater

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Dear Chump Lady, So my husband of seven years fed me the fairytale. Everything you would want in a husband he encompassed. He was handsome, loving, supportive, kind, thoughtful, caring — the list could go on. He was also religious, which made me finding his text messages to his girlfriend on Christmas Eve even more fitting. I […]

When You’re Married and ‘Fall in Love’ with Someone Else

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Dear Chump Lady, I am a recovering chump, happily divorced and living in the State of Meh. Your blog saved me, and I still read it regularly to remind myself how far I have come. My 17-year-old daughter (10 at the time of divorce) recently asked me about infidelity. She is aware of her father’s […]

UBT: Investigative Questions for Couples Experiencing Infidelity

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Every crime needs an investigation. Not to worry, Inspector Esther Perel is on the case! And now you can be an amateur sleuth too thanks to this free download on Amazon: Investigative Questions for Couples Experiencing Infidelity. Whodunnit? Well, that’s obvious. It’s that cheater sitting next to you. (Gasp!) But is it really? Maybe… maybe… […]

How to Deflect Gaslighting

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Today’s How-To-Keep-Your-Sanity tips come from CN’s own Amiisfree, who sent in scripts she uses to deflect mindfuckery. If you’re anything like the average chump, (decent, law-abiding, a bit of a mark), you respond to mindfuckery with bewilderment. Maybe you sputter. Make a weak reply. What you probably DON’T do, is call it out. Amiisfree would […]

Dear Chump Lady, My husband is a marriage counselor with a double life

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Dear Chump Lady, My STBX is a marriage counselor, so when I met him (a couple of years after leaving a cheating and abusive husband) I was thrilled about the prospect of having a loving and honest relationship. However, after we married, I started to see a side of him that alarmed me. Angry outbursts, […]