Not that we chumps want to give away trade secrets or anything, but if you’ve spent any time in the infidelity meat grinder, you probably perfected some detective skills. No one wants to serve on the Marriage Police, however, when you’ve been gaslighted silly, the insane idea of velcro-ing voice-activator recorders under cushion seats does […]
How Do I Set Boundaries with My Kids About My Ex?
Dear Chump Lady, My cheating ex-wife avoids me. We don’t speak on the phone. And she does not go to events with our kids if I am going (she is afraid there will be a scene). I guess she assumes that I can blow up at her. But have you seen guilt-driven behavior with exes […]
He Took the OW on Vacation
Dear Chump Lady My husband, a school principal, cheated on me with his secretary, we are trying to work things out. He took his lover to Santa Barbara because “she wanted to go there.” I like traveling and he gives me a hard time about when and where we go and how much everything cost. […]
Financial Freedom from a FW
Dear Chump Lady, I was sent to your blog during my horrible divorce from a cheating husband back in 2016. While he hadn’t been particularly engaged in family life during our marriage, when the divorce proceedings started he became outright abusive. Even though we were married for 10 years, have two amazing kids and a […]
Is ‘Bum-Bum’ a Friend?
Hi Chump Lady. I just need some decent advice. I have been with my partner for 20 years next month! We have four gorgeous children. Back in 2019 I caught him snap chatting with a women he works with, flirting and calling each other nicknames like “Bum-Bum” and “Muscle Bum.” We got through it and […]
Rocking the No Contact
Incoming bullshit? Repel! Today’s Fun Friday Challenge is to tell CN how that no contact’s going. In yesterday’s post, Dr. Chumphead commented: You know, since I have gone completely no contact, I am much better. Even when I did it in the beginning, I was better. But I didn’t set strong enough boundaries that he […]
Idolized, Devalued and Dumped
Dear Chump Lady, I’m a professionally successful gay man in his mid-thirties. I live and work in the U.K. as a doctor and am on the cusp of my board level examinations. I should be the equivalent of an attending within a year. With me, for the last five-and-a-bit years, until the end of February […]
UBT: “I Made a Mistake”
I get some weird mail. But perhaps none so weird as this letter sent to my Universal Bullshit Translator by John — a cheater. Yes, probably inadvertently, John has asked me to decode his own bullshit. Here’s the letter: Maybe you should focus a little more at actually responding and helping people a little more. My […]
What Meh Feels Like
Dear Chump Lady, Today I was out shopping with my daughters (young adults now) and we bumped into my ex-wife’s affair partner. He was with his wife and now teenage son. He and my ex-wife put me through hell 6 years ago. In the past bumping into him has been akin to whacking a wasps […]
Rubberneckers and the Remarriage of an Ex
Dear Chump Lady, So, I found out through the grapevine that my ex is on his way to the altar with Schmoopie. And when family and friends look at my calm, unaffected response, they’re stunned. “I’m so sorry.” (Still no reaction) “Are you okay?” (Nope. Not gonna to blink) “Are you sure?” (Really?) “Because you […]
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