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Hooker Habit Revealed, Cheater Threatens Suicide

December 10, 2019 by Chump Lady

Hello Chump Lady, I have lived with my husband for 8 years now and have been married for only 1.5 years. I recently noted odd behaviors (like always shaving his pubes suddenly), changing his passwords and not being as intimate with me… I decided to do a little digging and found that he was paying […]

Filed Under: No contact, Trust that they suck Tagged With: Emotional blackmail, Prostitution, Suicide, Threats 128 Comments

Pick Me Dancing for Love

December 9, 2019 by Chump Lady

Dearest Chumplady, Can you tackle this self-help notion I’ve been pondering for a while. Does anyone else feel like a lot of self-help books and well-intentioned advice still feels like pick-me dancing? Let me explain. I left a cheater 8 years ago, and rebuilt myself and my life. Moved 3,000 miles with my cats and […]

Filed Under: Gain a life Tagged With: Dating, Pick Me Dance, Rejection 199 Comments

Redefining Intimacy

December 6, 2019 by Chump Lady

Jammy had a stellar comment on yesterday’s UBT post, which I think merits its own discussion today. To wit: For the love of all things holy, can we please as a society redefine what intimacy actually is? Intimacy is buying that first house and then worrying each month how you will make the mortgage. Intimacy […]

Filed Under: Blameshifting Tagged With: Escapism, Intimacy 187 Comments

UBT: What Sleeping With Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity

December 5, 2019 by Chump Lady

Oh Modern Love, what-the-everliving-fuck? A bazillion of you sent me Sunday’s New York Time’s ML column — a look at relationships from the point of view of a 49-year-old woman who screws married men. Because… well, you know how it goes after divorce, when you create Tinder profiles for no-strings-attached sex, and lonely, tragically misunderstood, sexless men reply […]

Filed Under: universal bullshit translator Tagged With: esther perel, Karin Jones, Modern Love, Universal Bullshit Translator 119 Comments

He Left 3 Kids. How Can He Be Happy?

December 4, 2019 by Chump Lady

Hello Chump Lady, 10 weeks ago I found out that my husband of 9 years (together 14, 3 kids aged 6,4 and 1) has been having an affair for over a year. The affair partner (now girlfriend?! Vomit) is a mutual friend who knows me and my kids. It started when I was 6 months […]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Cake Eating Tagged With: Abandonment, Leaving kids 137 Comments

Interview with Dr. David Ley, ‘The Myth of Sex Addiction’ author

December 3, 2019 by Chump Lady

Anyone dealing with a “sex addict”? I thought this interview with Dr. David Ley, the major debunker of sex addiction, was worth a rerun. My advice stands — whatever flavor of fucked up you call it — please get away from it. *** Today we’re speaking with Dr. David Ley, a clinical psychologist and author […]

Filed Under: Sex addiction Tagged With: David Ley, Sex addiction, The Myth of Sex Addiction 127 Comments

‘He Returned and Acts Like Nothing Happened’

December 2, 2019 by Chump Lady

He’s a serial cheater and he won’t leave the home. Now he’s trying to pretend like nothing happened.

Filed Under: Gaslighting, Limbo Tagged With: Abusers, charm, Limbo, manipulation, rage, Self-pity, three channels 175 Comments

Happy Thanksgiving!

November 28, 2019 by Chump Lady

Forgive my tardy post today. I was up early cooking the Thanksgiving meal and now I’m in a post-Turkey coma. Mr. CL did the shopping and left to his own devices, bought a non-organic premium steroid-injected nearly 30-lb monster turkey. A freak of turkey nature. Turkeyzilla. The thing took five hours to cook (and probably […]

Filed Under: Holidays Tagged With: Thanksgiving 87 Comments

When You Don’t Want to Spend Thanksgiving with Your Ex

November 27, 2019 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, The holidays are coming and I was just wondering how to deal with the soon-to-be-ex (STBX) and holiday get-togethers. I actually thought we could stay on friendly terms since we have kids together and we will be seeing each other time to time. I really wanted it to be less painful for […]

Filed Under: Cake Eating Tagged With: Boundaries, cake eating, divorce, Holidays with ex 84 Comments

‘We Had a Good Life. Why Did He Cheat?’

November 26, 2019 by Chump Lady

Serial cheater

Dear Chump Lady, I come to you as perplexed and heartbroken. When you think about how many people experience this kind of betrayal, it is really a sad thing. I had been with my soon-to-be ex-husband for almost six years. Despite his two children from his first marriage, (and another child he found out about […]

Filed Under: Early days after discovery, How to leave a cheater, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Double life, How to leave a cheater, Untangling the Skein, Why happy people cheat

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