Hi Chump Lady, My situation is one you’ve read a thousand times or more, but luckily I’m unmarried without kids. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a year now. Three months into our relationship, I found out he had a secret girlfriend in Germany. I showed him grace and forgave him (classic mistake) and […]
Is an ‘Emotional Affair’ Reason Enough to Leave?
Dear Chump Lady, Can you tell me your theory about emotional affairs? My husband had an emotional affair two years ago. It lasted a couple of months, with two D-Days on my part, by checking both his email and then his voicemail. Supposedly it has been no contact between them for this whole time. I […]
A Chump Off the Old Block
Dear Chump Lady, My beautiful, intelligent daughter has now joined the ranks of lovable trusting Chumpdom. She’s a Chump Off the Old Block. I left her father 10 years ago after he cheated for the umpteenth time. I did the “let’s wait and see” for years, which is exactly what she’s doing now. I’m not […]
Breaking No Contact: How’d That Go?
The fastest path to healing after being chumped is no contact. We say that here a lot, and yet, when you’re in the early stages of this suckfest, it’s hard to do it. Surely you are the exception. Why, that’s not hopium you’re toking, that’s a reasonable request for closure! Perhaps she’ll explain her two […]
The Pretzel Logic of the 180
If you’ve spent any time reading the reconciliation literature, you’ll notice a lot of reference to the “180.” She won’t stop seeing her affair partner? “Do the 180!” He still works with his ho-worker? “Do the 180!” What is this powerful 180? It was a concept developed by Michelle Weiner-Davis of “Divorce Busters.” The 180 […]
Dead Bedroom? Cheater
Dear Chump Lady, I recently found out that my wife of 2 years has been in an sexual/emotional affair with a old college crush for over a year (possibly longer). To make matters worse, we’ve been in a dead bedroom since the end of engagement. We went to couples counseling and it failed. I was […]
No One Is Entitled to Reconciliation
I know my message — “leave a cheater, gain a life” is not popular with cheaters and the Reconciliation Industrial Complex. I mean, duh. At times, I’m asked do I mean all cheaters? Shouldn’t I distinguish between the remorseful and the remorseless cheaters? Remorseless? My answer is leave. Get the hell out. Remorseful? Your odds are long, […]
Is Reporting Him Revenge?
Dear Chump Lady, My ex cheated on me with a very good friend for almost 2 years. We were actually couple friends as well. She filed for divorce last summer after a year of their affair and her divorce was final the end of Feb 2020. I found out about the affair 1 week after […]
Your Best Word Salad, Please
I created this site not just to offer an alternative to the Reconciliation Industrial Complex, but to lampoon the pomposity of cheaters. And there is nothing sillier, no deeper vein of humor, than someone trying to defend the indefensible. That’s why bad actors have to torture their syntax, speak in high-falutin’ vagaries, smother their verbs, […]
“Our Marriage Was Already Over”
Here’s some one-size-fits-all cheater bullshit for you — “Our marriage was already over.” Cheaters say it to affair partners, “We’re all but divorced!” “We’re separated!” “Just roommates!” And cheaters say it to their spouses when they’ve been discovered cheating. Our marriage was already over. Well, yes, it is now. But did chumpy you get that […]
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