ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life

Chump and Cheater Torch Songs

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Dear Chump Lady, What about a Friday Challenge where you give a couple examples of songs in which the lyrics are perfect summations of either A) the feelings of the Chump B) the mentality of the Cheater So my example for B) would be the song “Sober” by TOOL I am just a worthless liar […]

He Says I’m “UnChristian” for Divorcing Him

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Dear Chump Lady – I’m 6.5 months since D-day and filed for divorce 2.5 months ago. My daughters are 17 and 20. The 20 year-old and I discovered the affair after returning from a family vacation (which he skipped again) and the house was magically clean and all visible signs of me hidden. His response […]

Nice versus Kind

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There was an interesting side discussion the other day on Chump Lady about the difference between niceness and kindness. Many people noted that their cheaters appeared to much of the world as “nice people,” but in point of fact, lacked kindness. (Sure, it’s an understatement to say that cheating is unkind.) Now, I don’t want […]

Duped for a Quarter

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Who doesn’t love a mighty story? I’m reading a really good book right now and I want to turn you all on to it — Stolen: Five Free Boys Kidnapped into Slavery and Their Astonishing Odyssey Home by Richard Bell. It doesn’t get much more gobsmackingly courageous than this — five children, free black boys […]

‘He Didn’t Suck’

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Dear Chump Lady, Finding your webpage was the best thing happened to me lately as I was about to lose my sanity. I spent hours reading about people’s stories, but I did not come across a case similar to mine, so I am still struggling. I know this is long, but I do not know […]

How Cheap Is Your Cheater?

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Once upon a time, GladIt’sOver’s ex presented her, apropos of nothing, with a half-eaten box of Wheatena cereal. As a “gift.” She told the story here and that telling detail has stayed with me ever since. It perfectly illustrates the Bounty for Me! Crap for You! narc dynamic. Today’s Fractured Friday Challenge is to play […]

UBT: ‘It’s not all sunshine and rainbows over here’

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Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I separated last year after she had a year-long affair with a colleague from work. Later on it had become apparent that she had seen other guys prior as well, over years , she went to the city where her parents live and went out to bars to meet […]

‘I Work with the Other Woman’

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Dear Chump Lady, How do I deal with the following situation? I work at the same organisation as my husband though in a different team. His other woman is in my team. She is full-time in the office, I am in the office for one day every two weeks for meetings (home based worker). In […]

UBT: “Blowing up the Marriage to Improve the Marriage”

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A submission here from “Deaun” to the Universal Bullshit Translator that was too fucked up to pass over. According to my counselor [the affair] was a subconscious way of blowing up our marriage to improve it. It was physiological, my brain enjoyed the dopamine. I’m assuming from the “my brain enjoyed the dopamine” Deaun is the […]