Here’s an etiquette dilemma Emily Post completely skipped over — how do you handle Schmoopie encounters?
Must you say anything at all? What about compulsory occasions like a child’s wedding? Or what if you stumble across them at your local hardware store (there in the screw department, I imagine) or worse, some “friend’s” party? Do you play it off with icy indifference? Flounce out of the room in tears? Slap the miscreant with your glove and challenge him to a duel?
How on earth do chumps share social space with these people?
My advice is do your best not to. No contact. And remember, you’ve got nothing to feel mortified about. They are the damaged, sad, amoral, fucked up people. At best they are lost and deluded, at the worst they are predatory creeps. There isn’t a single Schmoopie in this world you should feel intimidated by.
The person who should feel mortified is the affair partner. Why should you retreat? Why should you skulk off upset? Hold your head high.
When you internalize that this person is pathetic — and you are not — you don’t have to be afraid to run into one of them. What are they going to do? Taunt you? Say nannernanner boo boo I fucked your spouse? Your response to that should be:
Today’s Friday challenge is to share your close encounters with Schmoopies. Extra points for haughty indifference.