Tag: Blameshifting
More Snappy Answers to Chumpy Questions
Chump Lady, Please help me respond to well-meaning therapists or friends who say hurtful things like “You need to do self examining to see what …
‘Bagged Salad’ and Other Excuses
You drove ’em to it. That’s the blameshifting of the RIC and cheaters themselves. Your superpowers of suckitude could launch a thousand ships or create …
Idolized, Devalued and Dumped
Dear Chump Lady, I’m a professionally successful gay man in his mid-thirties. I live and work in the U.K. as a doctor and am on …
What Makes the New Guy Better?
Dear Chump Lady, I wasn’t married, but had been seriously dating someone for a year. I know this is nothing compared to a long marriage …
Jealousy and ‘Just Friends’
Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I were having issues. It got incredibly bad. I found evidence of something going on. I got suspicious when …
‘I Haven’t Been Happy for a Long Time’
The other week someone asked me to decode, “I haven’t been happy for a long time.” (Also sometimes expressed as “WE haven’t been happy for …
Why Is He So Mad at Me?
Dear Chump Lady, My husband and I were together for 8 years. We moved overseas together shortly after our wedding 2 years ago, so I …
When the Other Woman Was a Frienemy
Dear Chump Lady, I struggle so much with my situation. My husband of 15 years had an affair with someone I considered a close friend. …
“Our Marriage Was Already Over”
Here’s some one-size-fits-all cheater bullshit for you — “Our marriage was already over.” Cheaters say it to affair partners, “We’re all but divorced!” “We’re separated!” …
The Wrong Pickle and Other Sins
If you’re responsible for their cheating, (thanks RIC!) then it stands to reason you’re responsible for all the other slings and arrows of their outrageous …
‘Maybe He Was Right About Me?’
Dear Chump Lady, I was totally blindsided by my husband a year ago. (Before D-Day I’d say we were a happy marriage, you heard it …
Why Blame the Chump?
Dear Chump Lady, Why are these so called experts so rabid about blaming chumps for their part in creating a situation where they got betrayed? …
‘I Thought You Were Okay With It’
This nugget of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say was recently submitted to me: “Let’s be honest. You’ve had another man in your life for the past …
So Why the Hell Isn’t She Happy Now?
Hi Chump Lady, So my wife had an affair and after being found out asked for a trial separation. She said she had been “struggling …
Is He Gay? A Lost Soul? A Sex Addict?
Dear Chump Lady, I’m writing to you as I was forwarded your website by my therapist. I found myself in a shrink’s chair when I …
‘My therapist wants to know how I caused my husband to cheat’
Dear Chump Lady, I just finished reading your book. Your words about using caution when finding the right therapist were life changing for me. I …
Dear Chump Lady, What’s my ‘role’ in the break-up?
Dear Chump Lady, I have started my divorce, working on the settlement, and I’m a few months after my D-Day with a spouse of 20+ …
The Pollyanna Blameshift
When fuckwits are caught doing something they shouldn’t, there are only a few moves on the chessboard. Admit it. Deny it. Or blameshift it. Although …
Stupid Shit I Thought About Infidelity Until It Happened to Me
In the past, we’ve catalogued Stupid Shit Other People Say about cheating. However, I feel it’s only fair to acknowledge that I was once capable of saying …
Cheating Wife Needs a ‘Safe Space’
Dear Chump Lady, I got married 3 years ago and recently my wife and I had a baby. My wife and baby are both gorgeous, …
