Dear Chump Lady, I wasn’t married, but had been seriously dating someone for a year. I know this is nothing compared to a long marriage with kids and a house etc…but… It’s been 7 months since D-day and 6 months of no contact, yet I still have days where I feel like I’m slogging up […]
Jealousy and ‘Just Friends’
Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I were having issues. It got incredibly bad. I found evidence of something going on. I got suspicious when she suddenly was wearing kits of makeup and sexy underwear, I didn’t get to see. So I accused her of cheating when I saw a message. She admitted having feelings […]
‘I Haven’t Been Happy for a Long Time’
The other week someone asked me to decode, “I haven’t been happy for a long time.” (Also sometimes expressed as “WE haven’t been happy for a long time.”) It’s trotted out when the chump is looking for an explanation as to why their family life just blew up. Well DUH. “I haven’t been happy for […]
Why Is He So Mad at Me?
Dear Chump Lady, My husband and I were together for 8 years. We moved overseas together shortly after our wedding 2 years ago, so I could attend graduate school. He found a job in the new country and I thought we had a good life! Then, COVID happened, and since he was an essential worker, […]
When the Other Woman Was a Frienemy
Dear Chump Lady, I struggle so much with my situation. My husband of 15 years had an affair with someone I considered a close friend. For over a year. Their lies and manipulation are astounding. We went on trips together with our families (she’s a stay at home mom and was married with kids too), […]
“Our Marriage Was Already Over”
Here’s some one-size-fits-all cheater bullshit for you — “Our marriage was already over.” Cheaters say it to affair partners, “We’re all but divorced!” “We’re separated!” “Just roommates!” And cheaters say it to their spouses when they’ve been discovered cheating. Our marriage was already over. Well, yes, it is now. But did chumpy you get that […]
The Wrong Pickle and Other Sins
If you’re responsible for their cheating, (thanks RIC!) then it stands to reason you’re responsible for all the other slings and arrows of their outrageous annoyance too. In Tuesday’s column, The Mindfuckery of Reverse Victim Offender, “Xmaschump” shared a gem. “I got chased down in the shower with xh holding a pickle that he needed […]
‘Maybe He Was Right About Me?’
Dear Chump Lady, I was totally blindsided by my husband a year ago. (Before D-Day I’d say we were a happy marriage, you heard it thousands of times…) He cheated, I was shocked (perfect life we had, right?), antidepressants, reconciliation, later it turns out he was still in contact with his co-worker, then he fell […]
Why Blame the Chump?
Dear Chump Lady, Why are these so called experts so rabid about blaming chumps for their part in creating a situation where they got betrayed? Can’t they just admit that cheaters are sick fucks? Ugh. I loved my ex-husband and he knew it. I did the whole forgiveness thing and he acted remorseful and ultra […]
‘I Thought You Were Okay With It’
This nugget of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say was recently submitted to me: “Let’s be honest. You’ve had another man in your life for the past 5 years”. This is referring to our 5-year-old son! “I thought you were ok with it. Whenever I went out, the next day you just asked if I had fun.“ […]
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