Dear Chump Lady, I got married 3 years ago and recently my wife and I had a baby. My wife and baby are both gorgeous, by the way. But a few weeks ago at a therapy session my wife wanted me to go to with her (she’d been a little depressed lately) — I was […]
Which Came First, The Dead Marriage or the Affair?
Dear Chump Lady, I spend a lot of time thinking about the chicken and egg question — which came first, the death of the marriage or the affair? My soon-to-be-ex said that it was never good from the beginning, (which would be 35 years ago). I know that isn’t true, but I don’t know when things started to go bad. […]
Blameshifting Jujitso
Today’s Fun Friday Challenge is flip the blameshifting script. Slam it on the mat and bounce it a few times for good measure. In yesterday’s post, BeardBoy was told his wife had to cheat because he was a homebody and didn’t throw enough parties. He wrote: I never thought being a responsible father and husband […]
Dear Chump Lady, How did he turn into a douche?
Dear Chump Lady, First time chump and I would have bet my life on the fact I’d never be in this position. I had a genuinely lovely husband, together 14 years, married 8 years. My best friend and partner and a nicer man you would have struggled to meet. We got through 7 recurrent miscarriages […]
“I Didn’t Mean To” Debunked
Dear Chump Lady, I was married to a very lovely man for 15 years. He was “nice,” yet he needed parenting. That’s where I came in. There were days when I felt as though I were married to a teenager. He was self-sufficient, held a job, appeared responsible with money, but he CONSTANTLY made bad […]
The Fog Comes Softly on Little Cheater Feet
I was going to write a column today, but I realized this morning I was out of milk. And that meant no oat squares for breakfast. Plus, I had squandered all of the blueberries on my husband yesterday (and milk) making him a milkshake. So I wasn’t in my right mind when I did the […]
‘Is it my fault my ex ran off with our nanny?’
Dear Chump Lady, My ex-husband cheated and ran off with the nanny. According to my ‘friends’ and family, it’s all my fault and they knew all along that this was coming. I feel like I’m being abused and cheated on all over again when they say these things. Can you please please put these sentences […]
Playing the Victim?
Dear Chump Lady, During my shock of learning and trying to understand why he cheated on me, when I thought we had a great relationship (he was full of remorse after girlfriend #1 and begged for forgiveness..) — he is now leaving me for girlfriend #2. I have stated the obvious to him that what […]
Dear Chump Lady, Why do people assume cheating is the chump’s fault?
Dear Chump Lady, I’ve recently been pondering something that irks me, and would really appreciate your opinion. In various conversations with some friends over the last couple of years, if a case of infidelity is ever discussed, usually the first thing people comment on, is their opinion of the chump. For example: A dear friend […]
Let’s blame the children?
An alert chump sent this article in Today’s Parent: “What happens after the affair—when you have kids?” Apparently, children are hindering Otherwise Good People from their journeys of epic self-discovery. What with their teething and their sticky fingers and inconvenient vulnerability, mommy and daddy can’t get any sleep, no I mean strange. What are you […]
