Dear Chump Lady, I can’t believe I am writing this but I really need some help. 5 weeks ago I discovered my husband was having an emotional affair with a colleague. No sex. But intimate kissing and real emotional connection. They have both said they love each other. She tried to break it off and […]
He Walked Out for OW But Doesn’t Want a Divorce
Dear Chump Lady, My story begins four years ago. My narcissist had an emotional affair with a much younger (30 years..) girl at the local amateur dramatic group. Initially, they were just ‘drawn to one another’ after acting together in a play. He started flossing, shaving, taking his phone to the bathroom and changing his […]
UBT: The Apology That Never Came
Hello Chump Lady! I’ve got a fine bit of BS here and I’d like to see what you think. Brief background: My ex-wife had an affair with her boss, assumed it was going somewhere, and divorced my chump-ass without a lick of remorse. Last year, about 2 years later, their relationship ended. Still high on […]
When They Won’t Leave
There is no hell like the hell of in-house separation. You’ve been a good spouse appliance. Why should those perks end? What’s for dinner? I know many of you have had the sort of cheater who flounces off after the Schoompie(s) and just goes. But others of us get the hardcore cake enthusiasts. The sort […]
Dead Bedroom? Cheater
Dear Chump Lady, I recently found out that my wife of 2 years has been in an sexual/emotional affair with a old college crush for over a year (possibly longer). To make matters worse, we’ve been in a dead bedroom since the end of engagement. We went to couples counseling and it failed. I was […]
Why Cheaters Think You Could Be Friends with Their Affair Partner
One submission that I get over and over again for “Stupid Shit Cheaters Say” is the cheater insists — you know, you’d really like the affair partner! You’re a lot alike! You could be friends! The chump is absolutely gobsmacked by this (clearly, or they wouldn’t submit such nonsense to this blog). Which got me […]
‘I Turned the Tables’
Dear Chump Lady, Married 31 years, chumped the last 2 (that I know of), 2 kids early 20s. I did it all, untangling the skein of fuckedupness, rode the unicorn for a while, smoked a lot of hopium, dined at the buffet of grief, anger, etc. and went back for seconds and thirds. Moved out […]
He Left Me. Why Won’t He Agree to a Divorce?
Dear Chump Lady, How do you deal with a fuckwit who won’t do the things necessary to separate from you? On the very rare times I’ve seen my ex (child drop offs), he says under this breath, “we need to separate NOW!”, like he means business. So, I think to myself, “Yep, couldn’t agree more.” […]
Cake Speak?
Whenever I’m trying to categorize posts, invariably I file most under “cake eating” — the act of having both a chump and an affair partner (or 6) and all the entitlement therein. Which made me realize we have an entire sub-category of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say — Cake Talk! “After we divorce, we could always […]
When You Don’t Want to Spend Thanksgiving with Your Ex
Dear Chump Lady, The holidays are coming and I was just wondering how to deal with the soon-to-be-ex (STBX) and holiday get-togethers. I actually thought we could stay on friendly terms since we have kids together and we will be seeing each other time to time. I really wanted it to be less painful for […]
