Whenever I’m trying to categorize posts, invariably I file most under “cake eating” — the act of having both a chump and an affair partner (or 6) and all the entitlement therein. Which made me realize we have an entire sub-category of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say — Cake Talk! “After we divorce, we could always […]
When You Don’t Want to Spend Thanksgiving with Your Ex
Dear Chump Lady, The holidays are coming and I was just wondering how to deal with the soon-to-be-ex (STBX) and holiday get-togethers. I actually thought we could stay on friendly terms since we have kids together and we will be seeing each other time to time. I really wanted it to be less painful for […]
‘The Other Woman Is Taunting Me’
Dear Chump Lady, The other woman is taunting me! She’s been in an affair with my husband for over 18 months now, and I’ve asked her numerous times to leave my husband alone and she refuses. My husband and I separated 12 months ago, but want to make our marriage work now, but it’s very hard […]
Dear Chump Lady, My wife kissed a coworker
Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I were good friends for 5 years, dated for almost another 5 and have been married for 8 years, have 2 kids, with our 9th anniversary coming up at the end of this month. Prior to marriage, she had dated only one other guy, I dated several others and […]
Dear Chump Lady, He keeps calling me “Babe”
Dear Chump Lady, I told my husband I want a divorce today and stupidly gave him some criteria about what I’d need him to do to win him back — and he started trying to do them, but already fucked up. I said I needed to meet one of his OW “friends” and we needed […]
Dear Chump Lady, Ethical non-monogamy was a bust
Dear Chump Lady, I was in a relationship for 15 years, married for the last five. I’m not wired to be jealous over sex — I like it when pretty people do things to each other. Sensing he wanted to wander, though, I’d negotiated three rules: he could do whatever as long as it was […]
Dear Chump Lady, He wants me back
Hi Chump Lady, Thanks in large part to a daily diet of your advice, things have gotten pretty good for me recently. I’m almost at my 2 year No Contact anniversary, during which time I recovered my sanity, made new friends and reconnected with old, started doing well at my job, bought a house, and […]
Dear Chump Lady, I feel trapped
Dear Chump Lady, I need to vent. I have no one to talk to and I feel trapped. I can’t talk to friends or family because he’s a decent father but not so much as a husband. So…about 7 years ago I found out my husband went to those “happy ending” massage places for about […]
Dear Chump Lady, Am I an insensitive jerk because my husband wants to date?
Dear Chump Lady, Am I being unreasonable for having a problem with my husband’s ongoing relationship with a woman he tried unsuccessfully to seduce? One night about a year ago, we both got home from our respective jobs and my husband burst into tears. I’m talking, deep, rasping sobs. With his head on my lap […]
The Unified Theory of Cake
Cake eating is the preferred Nirvanic state of the unrepentant cheater. It’s the situation in which the cheater has the affair partner (AP) and the spouse. (“Having your cake and eating it too.”) In fact, cake is a preferred lifestyle for many. Ideally, the spouse is unaware of the AP, because that means the cheater […]
