Dear Chump Lady, I recently found out that my wife of 2 years has been in an sexual/emotional affair with a old college crush for over a year (possibly longer). To make matters worse, we’ve been in a dead bedroom since the end of engagement. We went to couples counseling and it failed. I was […]
Why Cheaters Think You Could Be Friends with Their Affair Partner
One submission that I get over and over again for “Stupid Shit Cheaters Say” is the cheater insists — you know, you’d really like the affair partner! You’re a lot alike! You could be friends! The chump is absolutely gobsmacked by this (clearly, or they wouldn’t submit such nonsense to this blog). Which got me […]
‘I Turned the Tables’
Dear Chump Lady, Married 31 years, chumped the last 2 (that I know of), 2 kids early 20s. I did it all, untangling the skein of fuckedupness, rode the unicorn for a while, smoked a lot of hopium, dined at the buffet of grief, anger, etc. and went back for seconds and thirds. Moved out […]
He Left Me. Why Won’t He Agree to a Divorce?
Dear Chump Lady, How do you deal with a fuckwit who won’t do the things necessary to separate from you? On the very rare times I’ve seen my ex (child drop offs), he says under this breath, “we need to separate NOW!”, like he means business. So, I think to myself, “Yep, couldn’t agree more.” […]
Cake Speak?
Whenever I’m trying to categorize posts, invariably I file most under “cake eating” — the act of having both a chump and an affair partner (or 6) and all the entitlement therein. Which made me realize we have an entire sub-category of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say — Cake Talk! “After we divorce, we could always […]
When You Don’t Want to Spend Thanksgiving with Your Ex
Dear Chump Lady, The holidays are coming and I was just wondering how to deal with the soon-to-be-ex (STBX) and holiday get-togethers. I actually thought we could stay on friendly terms since we have kids together and we will be seeing each other time to time. I really wanted it to be less painful for […]
‘The Other Woman Is Taunting Me’
Dear Chump Lady, The other woman is taunting me! She’s been in an affair with my husband for over 18 months now, and I’ve asked her numerous times to leave my husband alone and she refuses. My husband and I separated 12 months ago, but want to make our marriage work now, but it’s very hard […]
Dear Chump Lady, My wife kissed a coworker
Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I were good friends for 5 years, dated for almost another 5 and have been married for 8 years, have 2 kids, with our 9th anniversary coming up at the end of this month. Prior to marriage, she had dated only one other guy, I dated several others and […]
Dear Chump Lady, He keeps calling me “Babe”
Dear Chump Lady, I told my husband I want a divorce today and stupidly gave him some criteria about what I’d need him to do to win him back — and he started trying to do them, but already fucked up. I said I needed to meet one of his OW “friends” and we needed […]
Dear Chump Lady, Ethical non-monogamy was a bust
Dear Chump Lady, I was in a relationship for 15 years, married for the last five. I’m not wired to be jealous over sex — I like it when pretty people do things to each other. Sensing he wanted to wander, though, I’d negotiated three rules: he could do whatever as long as it was […]
