Dear Chump Lady, I was sent to your blog during my horrible divorce from a cheating husband back in 2016. While he hadn’t been particularly engaged in family life during our marriage, when the divorce proceedings started he became outright abusive. Even though we were married for 10 years, have two amazing kids and a […]
What Meh Feels Like
Dear Chump Lady, Today I was out shopping with my daughters (young adults now) and we bumped into my ex-wife’s affair partner. He was with his wife and now teenage son. He and my ex-wife put me through hell 6 years ago. In the past bumping into him has been akin to whacking a wasps […]
Kick Me Out of My Funk
Hello Chump Lady, Can you give me some pearls of wisdom (or a swift kick in the pants) to get out of my funk? It’s been almost 5 years since D-day. Married for 24 years at D-day, together for 26, almost 30 years together at divorce. I found out (for sure) Yahoo was cheating from […]
I Don’t Miss Him — Is There Something Wrong with Me?
Dear Chump Lady, I just walked away from a 17-year marriage. He admitted to his second one-night stand in our marriage. I’m not chumpy enough to think there wasn’t more. He thinks because “It was just one night. A whole year ago!” and “It’s been 10 years since he last slipped up” that he somehow […]
What Did You Think You Couldn’t Do That You CAN Do?
In yesterday’s post, Lola Granola discussed the belief that so many women have about their own financial incompetence and ability to provide for themselves. Economic vulnerability is a real stick-with-the-jerk force, I get it. But I’ve also read here time and time again, that when you leave a cheater, you figure it out. You gain […]
Chumped But Not Down, What You Did Right
So yesterday we opened the floor to 5 Things You Should Not Do When You Discover Cheating but for today’s Friday Challenge let’s focus on all the things you did right. No one gets a decoder ring at D-Day. Surviving chumpdom is not a skill set you ever imagine you’d need. I like this comment FriYayChump […]
What Does Freedom Feels Like?
We talk a lot here about getting to the “other side” — so today’s Friday Challenge goes out to anyone who has left a cheater, to describe the moment of freedom. How did you leave and how did it feel? Did you collapse in a heap? Raise a glass with friends? Shoot off fireworks? It […]
Gain a Life Version 2021
Every year I run this on New Year’s Day. Happy New Beginnings, CN! *** Get over it. The three words chumps hate to hear. “Get over it” says your remorseless cheater after a half-assed attempt at reconciliation. “Get over it” says the friend who cannot conceive of your pain, and wishes you would just go […]
‘Replaced’ and Still Feels Empty
Dear Chump Lady, I was married for almost 30 years, have one now grown daughter, and I’m in my 60s. I managed to survive serial cheating and lots of other abuse. My daughter and I were immediately replaced with a new younger OW and a younger OD (other daughter) and other dog! I got back […]
A Gain a Life Update… and Some Schmoopie Karma
You might recall a UBT from last May, when the OW sent our chump a Mother’s Day card, admonishing her to be best. Civility is for the children! That was a chuckle. Well, the other day on Facebook, our intrepid chump, Debbie, posted an update to her story, and tagged me. With Debbie’s permission, I’m […]
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