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Chumped But Not Down, What You Did Right

February 26, 2021 by Chump Lady

ex cheated and I got a graduate degree

So yesterday we opened the floor to 5 Things You Should Not Do When You Discover Cheating but for today’s Friday Challenge let’s focus on all the things you did right. No one gets a decoder ring at D-Day. Surviving chumpdom is not a skill set you ever imagine you’d need. I like this comment FriYayChump […]

Filed Under: Gain a life Tagged With: Gain a Life, Resilience 190 Comments

What Does Freedom Feels Like?

January 22, 2021 by Chump Lady

freedom

We talk a lot here about getting to the “other side” — so today’s Friday Challenge goes out to anyone who has left a cheater, to describe the moment of freedom. How did you leave and how did it feel? Did you collapse in a heap? Raise a glass with friends? Shoot off fireworks? It […]

Filed Under: Gain a life Tagged With: Gain a Life, Leave a Cheater

Gain a Life Version 2021

January 1, 2021 by Chump Lady

Waiting for karma

Every year I run this on New Year’s Day. Happy New Beginnings, CN! *** Get over it. The three words chumps hate to hear. “Get over it” says your remorseless cheater after a half-assed attempt at reconciliation. “Get over it” says the friend who cannot conceive of your pain, and wishes you would just go […]

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Gain a Life

‘Replaced’ and Still Feels Empty

December 14, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I was married for almost 30 years, have one now grown daughter, and I’m in my 60s. I managed to survive serial cheating and lots of other abuse. My daughter and I were immediately replaced with a new younger OW and a younger OD (other daughter) and other dog! I got back […]

Filed Under: Divorce, Gain a life Tagged With: Gain a Life, Life post-cheater

A Gain a Life Update… and Some Schmoopie Karma

December 2, 2020 by Chump Lady

You might recall a UBT from last May, when the OW sent our chump a Mother’s Day card, admonishing her to be best. Civility is for the children! That was a chuckle. Well, the other day on Facebook, our intrepid chump, Debbie, posted an update to her story, and tagged me. With Debbie’s permission, I’m […]

Filed Under: Gain a life Tagged With: Gain a Life, karma

Tell Me How You’re Mighty, COVID Edition 2.0

November 13, 2020 by Chump Lady

We haven’t done another round of Tell Me How You’re Mighty since this pandemic began. And as we’ve soldiered on (and on and on and on…) I want to know how the dragon-slaying is going. The divorces, the first steps, the new haircut, the kind teenager you raised. Whatever you’ve got in the Gain a […]

Filed Under: Gain a life Tagged With: COVID, Gain a Life, Mighty

Chump Lady Slouches Toward Another Year

September 25, 2020 by Chump Lady

Today is my birthday and every year I rerun the first birthday column I wrote in 2012. It’s a meditation on craptacular chumpy birthdays, and what a difference a new life — and a new partner — makes. (Not that you can’t have the new life without a new partner. This always bears repeating.) Fair […]

Filed Under: Chump Lady, Gain a life Tagged With: 40th Birthday, Gain a Life, Life post-cheater

Tiffany Glass Windows

September 1, 2020 by Chump Lady

Hey, I’m rerunning a favorite today. Hi chumps! I’ve been on vacation with my family in Orlando, Florida for a few days. Yesterday my mother and I visited the Morse Museum in Winter Park, which if you find yourself in the Disney World orbit, I can highly recommend over rollercoasters, crowds, and uber-commercialized touristy crap […]

Filed Under: Gain a life Tagged With: Gain a Life

A Decade of Chump Love

August 13, 2020 by Chump Lady

monkey love

Today is my 10-year wedding anniversary. I don’t generally blog about myself or the goings on at Chez Chump. But I thought I’d make an exception as I’ve got something to share in the Mighty column — I’ve been in a healthy marriage for a DECADE. I don’t suck at this. Mr. CL doesn’t suck […]

Filed Under: Chump Lady, Gain a life Tagged With: Gain a Life, Remarriage

One Guy Chump’s Gain a Life Story

July 27, 2020 by Chump Lady

I recently got a letter from a fellow who related to a letter he read here “Dear Chump Lady, My Wife Cheated with a Woman” and wanted to know if I could connect him with BeardBoy, the chump protagonist. I’m not in the habit of connecting people. (I’m sorry! I get too much mail. But […]

Filed Under: Uplifting stories Tagged With: Gain a Life, Straight Spouse

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