Dear Chump Lady, I feel crazy, that my mind can even be wavered, or try so hard to not believe what my eyes saw!! I just don’t understand how someone could be so cruel, how someone could treat another person like this? I have been dating this man for 14 months, from day one, he […]
A False Confession?
Dear Chump Lady, The other night when I was questioning my husband for the umpteenth time since D-Day, he said his counselor advised him not to falsely confess to having sex with someone to make me “feel better.” He said he would not let me pressure him into a false confession. Is this even a […]
I Keep Getting Messages He’s Having an Affair
Dear Chump Lady, About 2 months ago I got an message on Facebook stating my husband of 28 years was cheating on me and to look at his messenger for proof. So I did and found messages between him and a female coworker. And I got livid. Instead of sending the messages to myself for proof, I […]
It Took Balls to Cheat on Him?
Dear Chump Lady, Been married 15+ years, to the sweetest person ever. One reason I was attracted to her was because I knew there would never be a chance at infidelity. In 15 years nothing more than a few disagreements. I am rather passive and care free. In 2016 she changed jobs and over the […]
‘I Thought You Knew’
So this was submitted to Stupid Shit Cheaters Say this week: “I thought you knew about my romantic and sexual relationships all along and were okay with it!” Which is really a pernicious sort of mindfuckery. Not only are you cheated on, you’re apparently so dimwitted as to have forgotten you consented. Oh right, last […]
Jealousy and ‘Just Friends’
Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I were having issues. It got incredibly bad. I found evidence of something going on. I got suspicious when she suddenly was wearing kits of makeup and sexy underwear, I didn’t get to see. So I accused her of cheating when I saw a message. She admitted having feelings […]
The Mindfuckery of Reverse Victim Offender
There must be a bazillion “How To Tell If He/She’s Cheating” articles on the interwebs. You know, the usual — new cologne, sudden penchant for 9-hour Pilates classes, weird showering habits, furtive texting, requires cavity search to reveal cell phone… But here’s the real clue you’re dealing with a cheater, and it’s not lipstick on […]
Why Is He So Mad at Me?
Dear Chump Lady, My husband and I were together for 8 years. We moved overseas together shortly after our wedding 2 years ago, so I could attend graduate school. He found a job in the new country and I thought we had a good life! Then, COVID happened, and since he was an essential worker, […]
‘I Fail to Understand Your Hostility’
There is no mindfuck like the I Fail to Understand Your Hostility mindfuck. As mindfucks go, it’s Jedi-level mindfuckery. Oh sure your lesser manipulator can sputter some pathetic lies, or shrug and play dumb. The IFTUYH mindfucker, however, is one cool customer. Zero adaptive anxiety. Your inchoate rage just bounces off their wall of smug. This crazy […]
Is This Cheating?
I get a lot of letters that go something like this: Shady thing. Shady thing. Transgressive OH NO THEY DIDN’T thing. Shady thing. I’m mortified to tell you this, I’m sure you’ve never heard this (editor’s note: Yes I have), humiliating thing. (pause) Denial, denial, minimizing, gaslighting, denial, bible study, denial, just friends, missing/stained/new underwear, […]
