Dear Chump Lady, Divorce papers have been filed. Cheaterpants STBX moved out 7 months ago. Fill in the gaps with your stereotypical serial cheater husband, primary OW around for the last 10 years, D-Day 10 months ago, and you get the picture. I had an awesome 3+ month grey rock streak. I thought I was […]
Ex Tells People She’s ‘Liberated from a Loveless Marriage’
Dear Chump Lady, After being quarantined with Covid for the month of November 2020 my wife came home and announced that she wanted a divorce. The month had been stressful as we have two young children, 5 and 3, and I worked from home as a teacher during that time. My wife had returned to […]
How Do I Set Boundaries with My Kids About My Ex?
Dear Chump Lady, My cheating ex-wife avoids me. We don’t speak on the phone. And she does not go to events with our kids if I am going (she is afraid there will be a scene). I guess she assumes that I can blow up at her. But have you seen guilt-driven behavior with exes […]
No Contact, Gray Rock, and Other Kinds of Mighty
Rocking the gray rock? Today’s Friday Challenge is to share how you’ve mastered the art of low contact. In a perfect world, you could have total no contact, but for people still slogging through divorce, enduring in-house separation, or co-parenting with fuckwits, gray rock is the coping strategy of choice. It requires discipline — not […]
Can I Tell His Family He Cheated?
Dear Chump Lady, My STBX informed me two weeks before Quarantine Thanksgiving that we had to talk. I shut the lid of my laptop and asked, “What do you want to talk about? Do you want to watch something together?” (I was deep into an episode of something that he hated.) He said, “I want […]
‘My No Contact Stinks’
Dear Chump Lady, My no contact stinks. You have discussed no contact in your book and on your website. Many of the CN regulars speak of NC in the comments and have given sound advice. It sounds great, I don’t know how this is accomplished with my situation. My cheater ex works as a physician […]
UBT: ‘It’s not all sunshine and rainbows over here’
Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I separated last year after she had a year-long affair with a colleague from work. Later on it had become apparent that she had seen other guys prior as well, over years , she went to the city where her parents live and went out to bars to meet […]
Dear Chump Lady, I went grey rock, he went nuts
Dear Chump Lady, My chronically cheating EX husband is unfortunately stuck in my life until one of us keels over because I had a baby with him during our marriage. Now, I love our child to death, but had I known my ex was posing as a photographer and taking lingerie pictures of 18-19 year […]
New Narc Strategy? Be Boring
Dear Chump Lady, I’m writing to ask if you could write a post about how and whether gray rock differs from no contact. Thanks to your blog, I went firmly “no-contact-as-possible-with-shared-custody” very early on. It’s been years since I’ve communicated with the ex via any method other than text or email, and it’s only around […]
