I wrote once that chumps need to “bludgeon hope with a fencepost and operate with total lucidity.” Which doesn’t sound exactly hope friendly. But I wanted to set the record straight today that I’m not against hope. It’s all about where you direct it. Are you going to bet on yourself or are you going […]
Dear Chump Lady, I can’t kick hope
Dear Chump Lady, First I want to say I am so glad I found your site, it is beginning to counteract the damage all the “save your marriage” sites have caused me. Thanks for exposing me to harsh realities. I wish I would have found this site in the beginning. I am still in the […]
Dear Chump Lady, How can I hurt him to the core?
Hi Chump Lady, Do you have any tips on how I can hurt him to the core? We were together 10 years. No kids. He cheated. I left straight away. We didn’t even talk about the details of the affair. I mostly felt anger and disgust. I moved to a different city. Cut off all […]
Dear Chump Lady, The OW left him and I don’t know how I feel
Dear Chump Lady, Will you please help me identify a new feeling of mine? Meh-be it’s meh but I don’t know!!! Yesterday (a Tuesday) I found myself feeling a way that I have not yet felt since my D-day 27 months ago and I am unsure and suspicious of this feeling. Is it meh? Or […]
Dear Chump Lady, She changed him
Dear Chump Lady, I want to first say that I am SERIOUSLY thankful for your blog. I found it a little too late, and pick-me danced too long, but once I found it, I suddenly found the courage to stay strong and give up on the ‘perfect family’ dream. When I found you, it was […]
Dear Chump Lady, Please kill my hope
Dear Chump Lady, Three years ago, I found out that my husband had had a three-year affair. When I found out, he told me I was the “love of his life” and he’d made “the worst mistake of his life” and he wanted to stay married. At that time, we’d been married 15 years and […]
Who’s Hoovering Who?
Dear Chump Lady I am no contact with my ex-boyfriend, and have been since August. He “wanted a break” in January, but I didn’t know that he already had his vastly inferior-to-me girlfriend already waiting in the wings. At this time, he would hoover me in once a month using some pretense (documents he could […]
Dear Chump Lady, I can’t give up
Dear Chump Lady, Help. Help. Help. What is wrong with me? I simply cannot give up. The corner must turn? I haven’t done anything to provoke this wrath. One day will he understand how selfish and immature he is!? I need to not care if he’s great for someone else. He’s not great for me. […]
Dear Chump Lady, Better the Cheater I know, right?
Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been binging on Reconciliation Industrial Complex material for the last 3+ months, partially coming to my senses about my reality. My wife has still not ended it with the affair partner after 3 months. She still claims she wants this marriage and misses me so much but keeps “screwing it up”. […]
Hopium Translations
Chumpy hearts die hard. Armed with the smallest evidence that a freak still cares, a chump will assign great significance to scraps. HE CALLED (to ask that I pick up his dry-cleaning.) HE RETURNED (to get his kayak). SHE WANTS ME (can I babysit tonight?) Sigh. It’s what makes us chumps — idiotically ascribing decent […]
