You ever wonder why hopium is addictive? Apparently, there is some interesting brain science on this. You’d think, when you get a kibble (he went to therapy! she says she loves me!), you’d get a reward. (Or in brain science lingo, your neurotransmitters get a dopamine hit.) But this fellow, Robert Sapolsky, professor of biology […]
This Is Your Brain on Hopium
Hopium is a powerful drug. You can hand a chump the most desperate set of circumstances, and goddamn it, that chump will work with it. Let’s just give it a year! I owe it to us to try! Sure, I can ionize my needs into tiny, undetectable particles! You’ll never get a whiff of my anger, […]
Maybe He’ll See What He’s Missing
Dear Chump Lady, I am a little over three months out from D-Day now and I feel I have given myself a major setback. I came across another website that in some ways should probably be called “The Chump Maker.” They do have some good advice and articles, but you really have to be on […]
He Doesn’t Know If He’ll Come Home
Dear Chump Lady. He left December 5th out of nowhere. He went to work and showed up with a u-haul. He told me for weeks that he was coming home and it was just a break. He took our son and got caught out with another girl. I left him the weekend before over her. […]
Is He a Unicorn or a Narcissist?
He left her for the OW. Now he’s back on weekends. Planting a garden. Buying her gifts. Having sex. Is this… reconciliation? Chump Lady wields the clue bat.
Seconding Guessing Yourself About Leaving
Dear Chump Lady, My husband has cheated on me with two different women over the course of the last year and a half. I found out about one, moved to my mom’s and then came back to the family home to find out he was cheating with another one about 3 months later. I have […]
Getting a Friendly ‘Weird Vibe’ from Ex-Wife
Hello Chump Lady, My ex wife and I divorced in July and since then, I’ve gotten very strange vibes from her. I discovered she was cheating on me with multiple men and that she had a plan to ask me for divorce only after our kids had finished with the school year in the springtime. […]
Struggling with No Contact
Dear Chump Lady, Holy crap, Chump Lady, I feel like hell today. This No Contact is killing me. I woke up with a sense of dread and the whole day sucked. I could barely function. I was out of my PJs long enough to go for a drive but that’s it. All I did was […]
UBT: The Apology That Never Came
Hello Chump Lady! I’ve got a fine bit of BS here and I’d like to see what you think. Brief background: My ex-wife had an affair with her boss, assumed it was going somewhere, and divorced my chump-ass without a lick of remorse. Last year, about 2 years later, their relationship ended. Still high on […]
Your Long, Strange Hopium Trips
Chumpy hearts die hard. Armed with the smallest evidence that a freak still cares, a chump will assign great significance to scraps. HE CALLED (to ask that I pick up his dry-cleaning.) HE RETURNED (to get his kayak). SHE WANTS ME (can I babysit tonight?) Sigh. It’s what makes us chumps — idiotically ascribing decent […]
