Dear Chump Lady, I discovered in September 2018 that my husband of 3 years (together a total of 13 years) had been having a 2-year affair with his coworker. (The affair started before our 1-year wedding anniversary and spanned our time trying to get pregnant, our time doing IVF, while I was pregnant and while […]
‘None of My Choices Are Acceptable’
Dear Chump Lady, Please help me with advice — I’m stuck. I’ve been reading your blog for a year and it has kept me alive in my darkest moments. Thank you. A year ago I threw my ex cheater out of our home. He wanted to come back, hence I’ve sent him to individual counseling, […]
Dear Chump Lady, When does the pain go away?
Dear Chump Lady, My question for you and perhaps more so, Chump Nation, is when, how long does it take before the pain goes away? How many days, months, years does it take until you wake up and go a day, few days, weeks without thinking about him? What are the experiences of your readers? […]
No Contact Fails — The Blooper Reel
This “Fun” Friday contest was suggested by an intrepid chump this week — no contact fails, the outtakes. If your chumpy existence was a Bloopers show — what mortifying episode would you highlight? That time you pet sat for her when she was in the Bahamas with the Other Man? Did you drunk text a booty […]
Dear Chump Lady, How can I hurt him to the core?
Hi Chump Lady, Do you have any tips on how I can hurt him to the core? We were together 10 years. No kids. He cheated. I left straight away. We didn’t even talk about the details of the affair. I mostly felt anger and disgust. I moved to a different city. Cut off all […]
No Contact Wins
Freaks can fling some tasty bait at chumps. Why, just last Monday we read about the cheater who told everyone his chump ex was ISIS. Your Fun Friday Challenge is to share your no contact wins with CN. What provocation, insult, ridiculous rumor, bad tagged Facebook photo, withering slight did you NOT react to? What’s […]
You Don’t Need Closure
Once upon a time, a fellow “Chump Chap” wrote to me after he realized that he’d gotten a non-apology apology from his cheating ex. He’d committed a common but grievous rookie mistake — he asked his cheater why. For “closure.” Chump Chap didn’t realize it was a fake apology until later. After he wrote me. […]
Meh Sightings?
Have you had a glimpse of the Promised Land? Are you Meh? “Meh” — that liberating place of acceptance — is where you no longer are consumed with cheater drama. You don’t love them. You don’t hate them. You sort of pity anyone within a five-mile radius of them, but their existence doesn’t rock yours anymore. You’re […]
Facebook Is NOT Helping You Move on
Previous generations got to break up with people and never had to see the jerks again. A hundred years ago, if you were lucky your cheater rode the rails out of town to Butte, Montana and fell down a mining shaft. Unfortunately, you’d never get to enjoy that particular bit of schadenfreude. However, you wouldn’t […]
Why No Contact Works
What’s the secret sauce to getting a fuckwit out your life? No Contact. I thought today I’d do a refresher course on why no contact is so effective. First a caveat about what no contact is NOT. It’s not the 180. It’s not some passive-aggressive silent treatment to get your wingnut to behave. Fine! Harrumph! […]
