A common point of chump bafflement is why we attach so hard when cheaters detach so easily. I get some very, very long letters trying to untangle this particular skein. She told me she loved me, and texted the OM hearts and smileys 30 seconds later. He walked out on four children. I had cancer […]
Holiday Hoovering
🎵 It’s the most vulnerable time of the year! 🎵 Time for a public service announcement about holiday hoovering. Has your ex gone all misty? Does she need a Plan B/plus-one/last-minute babysitter? Did Schmoopie stand him up for the office party and you’ll do? Does someone need a payday loan? Won’t you have him over to open […]
Dear Chump Lady, “I still wish I could call him”
Hey CN, I’m up super early to VOTE today. I hope you are too! (You better be, or I’m going to come throttle you. VOTE!!!!!) I don’t know if we share political views — and let’s keep it that way, shall we? — but I do know that democracies don’t work unless we USE them. […]
Who’s Hoovering Who?
Dear Chump Lady I am no contact with my ex-boyfriend, and have been since August. He “wanted a break” in January, but I didn’t know that he already had his vastly inferior-to-me girlfriend already waiting in the wings. At this time, he would hoover me in once a month using some pretense (documents he could […]
Dear Chump Lady, Can I go NC with my step-daughter?
Dear Chump Lady, My D-Day involved a stranger texting me about my cheater’s profile on a “sugar baby” site. He had spent $30K (much of it my money) on sex with dozens of women. He eventually revealed that he’d had an affair during his first marriage — something he always adamantly denied, saying “I wasn’t […]
UBT: “I’m sorry you feel that way”
Dear Chump Lady, Married 24 years, together 27 years. Discovered he had affair with married coworker for over two years all the while “communicating” with escorts. He left Jan 1, 2018. Usual chump bullshit for about 3 months, then I found you. (BTW, you were the only helpful thing during this…. even better than my […]
Why Is No Contact So Hard?
A lot of chumps falter when it comes to no contact (NC). It’s the most maddening thing — your brain will be very clear on the “dump the cheater” message, but the heart is emotionally sloppy and dimwitted. Much like my Australian Shepherd who flings herself daily at the mailman in a love/hate frenzy. Every […]
Dear Chump Lady, He wants me back
Hi Chump Lady, Thanks in large part to a daily diet of your advice, things have gotten pretty good for me recently. I’m almost at my 2 year No Contact anniversary, during which time I recovered my sanity, made new friends and reconnected with old, started doing well at my job, bought a house, and […]
Dear Chump Lady, No contact is killing me!
Dear Chump Lady, I read your book and implemented NC as soon as he refused to give me his phone records to prove he wasn’t talking/texting to anyone. (I knew he was, my gut was screaming for months and this was the only way I could figure to “test” my hunch). I ran across Facebook […]
The Perils of Flunking No Contact
There’s nothing sadder than watching a chump pick up the hopium habit again. I can sit here on the sidelines and frantically wave my arms and shout “NO! DON’T DO IT!” But if you’re determined to chase unicorns, there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. I promise you, 99.9 percent of the […]
