Dear Chump Lady, I am a little over three months out from D-Day now and I feel I have given myself a major setback. I came across another website that in some ways should probably be called “The Chump Maker.” They do have some good advice and articles, but you really have to be on […]
UBT: The Mayo Clinic
The un-chumped people of the world sometimes think I exaggerate The Reconciliation Industrial Complex. When my book was first being pitched to publishers, this came up. Leave a cheater? Well, DUH. No, you see all the infidelity resources are predicated on reconciling with cheaters. There isn’t a single “leave the jerk, you’ll feel a lot […]
UBT: Monogamy Is a Gift
You know you’re wading in deep bullshit when you see the title “The Unsparing Genius of Esther Perel.” Oh please do spare us such genius. Sorry. “Leading Mindful Living Expert” and “Certified Yoga Therapist” Ira Israel broadcasts to The Good Men Project and Huffington Post that Esther Perel is nothing short of GENIUS. (Like picnics are a few […]
Debunking Marriage Builders, Inc.
One piece of advice the Reconciliation Industrial Complex likes to give after D-Day is telling chumps it is their responsibility to make the marriage “a good place to be” after an affair. That way your cake-eating spouse will see what they’re missing. Often this advice is combined with the contradictory advice to be all 180 […]
Derrick Jaxn, The Latest Unicorn
The Reconciliation Industrial Complex has a new star — “self-love guru” now busted serial cheater, Derrick Jaxn. Seen here in a hostage video with his chump wife, squeezing the life-force out of her arm, lest she flee, or have full oxygen flow to her brain, he offers that why yes, he did cheat. And it […]
Reconciliation with the Timid Forest Creature
After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater is sorry or not sorry, the infidelity is a deal breaker. If you choose reconciliation, however, the matter of How Sorry Are They comes to the forefront of the decision. […]
We Reconciled… He Cheated Again
Hi Chump Lady, I just finished your book… For the second time. Two years ago I found out he had an affair with a 20-something from work. (He was 56 at the time). We were married for 30 years at the time, and, things were great. We traveled, socialized, and had great sex. I thought […]
Debunking ‘Affair Fog’
Dear Chump Lady, My husband had drunk sex with a woman who works for him when our little boy was 9 months old and we had been married for just a couple of years. He was remorseful (well he cried a bit and said sorry and, hey, at least he told me — yeah right, […]
‘Why Do Reconciliation Bloggers Annoy Me?’
Dearest Chump Lady, Why does the Reconciliation Industrial Complex annoy me so much? I don’t want to name any names, but while looking for support groups, I come across a Twitter of an infidelity survivor who has done podcasts, books, you name it. After some research I find out it’s only been two years. The […]
UBT: Gottman’s ‘Reviving Trust After an Affair’
Yesterday, when we discussed Gottman’s The Four Horseman as an instrument of cheater mindfuckery, an alert chump sent me further reading on the Gottman’s. Apparently they were gods of relationship research and then seem to have veered off the rails into full blown Reconciliation Industrial Complex madness. I give you this sales and marketing pamphlet, “Reviving […]
