Hi Chump Lady, I’ve recently discovered my partner of 5 years and brand new husband is a sex addict. He has cheated on me in massage parlours and with escorts numerous times, and cheated on his ex-wife 20+ times (she didn’t know. I found the email trail. He’d been writing fucking REVIEWS of them!!) Once […]
He sees prostitutes. She’s ‘stuck in a fog’.
Dear Chump Lady I’ve been in an over 40-year marriage in which I’ve invested a lot of emotional equity. My husband was unfaithful from the very start of when I meet him. I knew and should have run then but…..in my fairy tale mind, I thought I could change him. I thought my pure and […]
Nearly Engaged…Then Busted
Hi Chump Lady, Hoping to get some perspective from an outside source instead of having my friends and family in my ears (all of which five different advice). The greatest man I have ever met has been living with me for 3.5 years, being together 4.5 years in total. We just went ring browsing last […]
Dear Chump Lady, My Wife Is Near Perfect But I See Prostitutes
Hi Chump Lady, I happened upon your website and it seems to contain a lot of good advice for certain circumstances. But there are others, I think, where the main advice of “just leave” doesn’t apply. See, I’m a cheater and never expected I would be. I married my near perfect wife, a wonderful human […]
Interview with Dr. David Ley, ‘The Myth of Sex Addiction’ author
Anyone dealing with a “sex addict”? I thought this interview with Dr. David Ley, the major debunker of sex addiction, was worth a rerun. My advice stands — whatever flavor of fucked up you call it — please get away from it. *** Today we’re speaking with Dr. David Ley, a clinical psychologist and author […]
When ‘Sex Addiction’ Turns Deadly
Dear Chump Lady, I have been an avid reader of Chumplady.com for the last 16 months. After marrying my soon to be erstwhile husband, I discovered just at our one-year anniversary, six weeks after the purchase of our home, that he had been engaging in multiples affairs, hookers, match.com dates, well, you know the story. […]
UBT the Trust Bank
CN, why haven’t we deconstructed the bullshit trope of the Trust Bank yet? OMG, I’ve let you down! Recently, I got a letter that went like this: Two years into the relationship he left his email open and I found the Craigslist ads, dating site profiles, etc…, but he eagerly agreed to couples counseling and […]
Dear Chump Lady, He claims he still loves me
Dear Chump Lady, You may have addressed this in the past. I’m leaving a partner of 43 years whom I’ve learned has been visiting prostitutes for years while claiming to still have loved me the entire time. Just writing that gives me a clue, however I would still value your feedback. Bonnie Dear Bonnie, I […]
Forgiving the ‘Sex Addict’
Whenever I think I’ve overstated the pernicious ubiquity of The Reconciliation Industrial Complex (RIC), something pops up on my news feed and gobsmacks me all over again. No. I’m not imagining it. There really is this fucked up societal message — and literal industry — insisting that chumps not just forgive, but reconcile with their […]
Dear Chump Lady, My husband prefers porn to me
Dear Chump Lady, I am very new to this site and honestly I’m just trying to wrap my head around if what is happening in my marriage is considered cheating. I sure feel like it, but I don’t know if I’m just being a prude. Okay, so here goes….(huge sigh and highly embarrassed). My husband […]
