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Why Is He So Mad at Me?

December 30, 2020 by Chump Lady

Voodoo doll

Dear Chump Lady, My husband and I were together for 8 years. We moved overseas together shortly after our wedding 2 years ago, so I could attend graduate school. He found a job in the new country and I thought we had a good life! Then, COVID happened, and since he was an essential worker, […]

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Blameshifting, DARVO, Gaslighting, Untangling the Skein

Are There Cheaters Who Left No Clues?

October 27, 2020 by Chump Lady

planet narcissist

Dear Chump Lady, There is a lot of talk on this site and others about how — in retrospect — cheaters left clues that we can now see.  Some chumps realize that their ex broke a lot of dates, or were vague about their past, or forgot their birthday, or said really insensitive things. However, in […]

Filed Under: Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Mid-life crisis, Untangling the Skein

Is This Jealousy?

August 31, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, CN support helped me avoid a mindfuck my husband was trying to impose on me. Thanks to CN, I got up from my knees, hired a detective and in September I am starting the divorce process with judgement of guilt (I live in the EU). Anyway, right now my husband already lives with […]

Filed Under: No contact, Pick me dance, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Pick Me Dance, Untangling the Skein

What Do I Do with the Phantom Pain of Abandonment?

March 18, 2020 by Chump Lady

broken heart

Dear Chump Lady, First, thank you. Your truth is like a laser ripping through the threads of the tangled skein I’ve struggled with for three years. I’m two years out from divorce after a torturous separation. I’m guilty of reality-bending, crippling doubt, doing the pick-me dance for ages — leading to self-loathing that took years […]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Trust That They Suck, Untangling the Skein

‘He’s a Different Person Than I Used to Know’

March 2, 2020 by Chump Lady

Serial cheater

Dear Chump Lady, The past several months have been some of the worst of my life. Three months after having a baby, I discovered that my husband had some sort of relationship with the 46-year-old neighbor across the street. We had just moved in and got married when I was pregnant, so he immediately started […]

Filed Under: Deception, Divorce, Early days after discovery, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Untangling the Skein

Is He Gay? A Lost Soul? A Sex Addict?

February 27, 2020 by Chump Lady

Untangling the skein of fuckupedness

Dear Chump Lady, I’m writing to you as I was forwarded your website by my therapist. I found myself in a shrink’s chair when I caught my husband out meeting a gay man he had found on Adam4Adam. My husband and I have been together for seven years, married for 2.3, separated since Valentines Day. […]

Filed Under: Gay cheating, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Blameshifting, Gay husband, Untangling the Skein

‘We Had a Good Life. Why Did He Cheat?’

November 26, 2019 by Chump Lady

Serial cheater

Dear Chump Lady, I come to you as perplexed and heartbroken. When you think about how many people experience this kind of betrayal, it is really a sad thing. I had been with my soon-to-be ex-husband for almost six years. Despite his two children from his first marriage, (and another child he found out about […]

Filed Under: Early days after discovery, How to leave a cheater, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Double life, How to leave a cheater, Untangling the Skein, Why happy people cheat

Dear Chump Lady, I built my whole life around her

September 11, 2019 by Chump Lady

broken heart

Dear Chump Lady, I’m feeling so lost right now after getting chumped… She left me May 19th saying she didn’t know if she loved me anymore and it’s not my fault, she’s not angry, I did nothing wrong, she just doesn’t know if she wants to be in a relationship right now, she just needed […]

Filed Under: Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Resilience, Starting over, Untangling the Skein

Dear Chump Lady, She changed him

July 9, 2019 by Chump Lady

Hopium

Dear Chump Lady, I want to first say that I am SERIOUSLY thankful for your blog. I found it a little too late, and pick-me danced too long, but once I found it, I suddenly found the courage to stay strong and give up on the ‘perfect family’ dream. When I found you, it was […]

Filed Under: Other Women, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Cancer Cheaters, Hopium, Other Woman, Untangling the Skein

Dear Chump Lady, The OW gave me a brownie plate

January 29, 2019 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cover this topic, and my fellow chumpy friends and I are mystified by this behavior… Schmoopie (the one that my husband/partner of 23 years left me for last year) gives ME (the chumpy ex-wife) gifts! What the…..? I have never met Schmoopie in person. She […]

Filed Under: Ask Chump Lady, Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse, Other Women, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Untangling the Skein

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