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Showcase a Narcissist! Mark Sanford

I’m going to start a new feature here at Chump Lady. It’s called Showcase a Narcissist! Rule are — you can’t nominate your cheater. It’s got to be someone in the news. Small town narcissists make great copy (we’ve got a realtor loon in our town who has a giant billboard of herself and her dogs facing a historic courthouse, and she goes around telling other people how they’re defiling the city by not being “historically accurate.” Priceless.) Celebrities and politicians are fair game of course.

I’m a little late on this one, but I wonder if any of you have been following the ridiculousness of Mark Sanford’s campaign in South Carolina? Stephen Colbert’s sister, Elizabeth is handing him his ass in the poles and the Republicans have pulled the plug on financing his campaign. So he recently — right after the Boston bombings — took out a full page ad in a Charleston newspaper to complain about his bad week. Yes, that’s right. HIS bad week. NPD much? According to the Washington Post:

Laurin Manning of the South Carolina Soapbox blog puts Sanford’s already epic tone deafness into perspective in her opening paragraph.

On Sunday, just days after the horrific Boston Marathon bombings and subsequent events that left three people dead, hundreds wounded, and a nation in shock — and just days after the explosion of a Texas fertilizer plant that killed thirteen people and injured hundreds more — Mark Sanford bought a full-page newspaper ad in the print version of Charleston’s Post & Courier to tell us just what a bad week *he* had.

What was so crappy about it? Well, his ex wife filed trespassing charges against him, after he let himself into her house. Creepy? Boundary-less? No, he had a noble purpose you all fail to understand — he wanted to watch TV with his son “because, as a father, I didn’t think [my 14-year-old son] should sit alone and watch [the Super Bowl].” He was taking one for the team! Violating his ex-wife’s privacy is all in the interest of being a good father. Because Mark Sanford knows all about being a good father — he abandoned his wife and kids. You can’t understand that mindfuck? It’s okay if you don’t. He left his cell phone number on the full page ad so he can explain it to you personally. Call him!

While you’re at it, congratulate him on his engagement to his Argentine mistress (of “hiking the Appalachian trail” fame).

Mark Sanford — you take the biscuit. Hope you and your soul mate schmoopie enjoy watching the election returns together.

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  • The San-tard’s cell no. is (843) 367-1010 according to the ad. I called. It goes straight to voicemail. I guess he really didn’t want to talk to me all that much.

    Also notable: the ad closes with dire warnings about how horrible things will be for everyone if he doesn’t get from us what he wants. If we don’t “reconcile” with his cheating ass, you might say. Very NPD as well. How will we ever manage?

  • Hey there…
    I want to nominate
    Lets explore his past… how he justified his needs .

  • What always amazes me about these NPD politicians is their expectation that public contempt will just ‘go away’ in such a short time. In my opinion, the Mark Sanford scandal is still pretty fresh, what makes him think that one or two years passage of time would be sufficient? Another example: Anthony Weiner. He sexted pictures of himself to women and now he wants to get involved again in politics. Huh? So soon?

    Public forgiveness and true remorse requires dedicated action, time and a demonstration of reformation- this is absent in both Sanford’s and Weiner’s case. The shame and embarrassment that these men have caused their ex-wives, BS, in-laws, children, co-workers etc. should give them pause to put themselves out there in the media once again and stir up embarrassment for everyone harmed.

    • Well,
      in Weiners case… not an ex-wife… but new mother.
      You know a baby, being a “Dad” changes everything in the publics eye.
      Besides he is VERY sorry.
      Sorry he got got… so inconvenient for him. : (
      What a “Weinee “!

      • Just read this on HuffPo……

        “If reporters want to go try to find more, I can’t say that they’re not going to be able to find another picture, or find another… person who may want to come out on their own, but I’m not going to contribute to that. The basics of the story are not gonna change,” Weiner said.

        Serial cheater.

        Also… if you’ve never seen Bill Maher and Jayne Lynch do the dramatic reading of the tweets, it’s hilarious, but VERY VERY X-rated. Reminds me of just how stupid all of our cheaters should look to the rest of the world….. ridiculous.

  • Arnold Schwarzeneggar, John Edwards also qualify.

    As always, I think it’s the secrecy. And there was a lot of that in both these cases.

  • I consider that anyone who makes it to a high level in politics is 99% likely NPD. The same thing for those in the acting/entertainment field. Normal people rarely have the level of self love, self confidence, complete lack of anxiety/self doubt, comfort with doing whatever it takes and ability to use and discard people that it takes to really make it in those fields. Oh, and also CEOs of large corporations. Most of them NPD as well.

    There are a lot of rewards for being NPD in our society. If they are smart and have what it takes, they can be very “successful” in making money and gaining adoration. That doesn’t change what complete fucks they are, though.

    • I think there is a lot of truth in this. I do think, however, that you can find people who did good thing and were not NPD. Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass are two examples. I also think of General Eisenhower’s note, which he wrote right before D-Day, where he said that “the landings have failed…” and he took full responsibility for that failure (which did not occur). (This is the same Ike who warned us about the Military-Industrial Complex.) So, I do see some counter-examples of famous folk who were not NPD.

      Of course, there is a difference between the people I’m citing (and I’m not saying the above were perfect) and the celebrities and others we see today. Nowadays, fame is self-generating. Some folks are famous not because they have actually done anything, but they are just famous for being famous. I think that really plays in narcissism. Other folks can be narcissistic but also do some good, like FDR. So, it’s a complicated equation. We do have a narcissistic-encouraging culture right now. It’s a challenge. And CL is fighting that drift.

    • Excuse me, but I AM in the entertainment industry (I have a theatre degree and perform on stage) and I do not have NPD. The implication that we’re all a bunch of narcissists could not be more inaccurate.

      • No worries Miss Kara,
        People are people are people…you would expect all entertainers to be N, but of corse that’s a stereotype. If only it they that easy to identify! 🙂

      • Point well taken. I was referring to folks like the Kardashians, who are famous for being famous. But it’s good to remember not to overgeneralize. As I said, not all politicians are NPD. Look at Lincoln.

        In fact, I think that very often the NPD folks are flashes in the pan. The real heroes who are remembered to history or who do something are not NPD.

        • It all depends on the perspective. I am an author, filmmaker, actor, singer, songwriter, essentially, live in the arts and not once did I take offense. I see all the Narcs in the business as necessary evils, just as in any profession, only in the arts, they are often front page news, simply because of what they do for a living, much like politicians or news anchors. The cops, firemen, insurance salesmen, factory workers, clerks and carpenters, quite simply, do not make as interesting reading. Oh, but they would, if the readers only knew the pain and devestation they daily, impart on unsuspecting chumps like us. The quiet dutiful minister, school teacher or priest are not excluded from this select group of disgusting individuals. The list must include every profession known to man. Put your extra thick skin on and realize some of us are just under more scrutiny than others, simply by what we do for a living. My biggest hero, Roy Rogers, convinced the Hollywood starlet, Dale Evans, to marry him. Dale was primed to become a huge star. Drop dead gorgeous, ambitious, talented, she had it all and the studios loved her, but they paired her with this squint eyed, yodeling cowboy and she couldn’t get out of it because their movies hits, one after the other. She gave in and married him. After adopting a bunch of kids, Roy’s eyes began to wander. Remember here, Dale was a star, a beautiful movie star. Roy went after Spade Cooley, a western swing orchestra leader’s wife;. Her husband did not go after Roy, which is what some of us chumps would have done, instead, he shot and killed Cooley’s wife. Chumps, sometimes it appears we have not come too far from that time when the dirt was swept under the rug and quietly, quickly forgotten. Shame, guilt, all causing us to hide our dirty laundry and pain in private. Chump Lady has given us a forum, soap box if you will, to say, “We are mad as hell and we’re not going to take it any more.” I, for one, believe that until ALL cheaters are placed in the stocks and their names drug through their own mud, will we ever get satisfaction number one, but more importantly, justice. I was told by an attorney, he could not remember a judge in his district, ever granting alimony in a divorce case. I almost cried, I was so distraught and disappointed. Only en masse, can we gain strength enough to make a difference. I had a fb friend who posted, “Social media is not the place to air dirty laundry.” I don’t believe hshe knows her husband cheated on her, but he did, and more importantly, she does not understand the power social media has on individuals. It gives strength to otherwise, soft, single voices, it unites us in a way individual sufferers have never known. I’m through preaching, now.

  • Chump Laddy, this is not even a challenge…this guy takes the cake. FRED PHELPS of Topeka, Kansas. I lived down the street and saw and heard all kinds of things you won’t believe. When his children were little, he made them put on old rags of clothes, drove them to Emporia (always got them out of town for this dirty business) parked his big luxury car down the street and then got them out of the car. He scooped up dirt and wiped their faces. They looked so pitiful. He divided up the brood (and there were MANY kids.) He sent them to different houses selling candy bars, from which there were many over-payments, donations. Ole Fred Fuckup, took all the money of course. Stories about Fred go decades back, long before his picketing funerals. As a juvenile probation officer at the time, a case was assigned to me regarding the questioned well being of Fred’s children. I went to the church and into the back where his office was set up. He had on a very nice suit, great looking shoes. He had typical office equipment, computers, etc. Quite a business he was running. He “assured” me everything was fine with his family. I was not allowed to meet his wife or go into his home. His wife and his children were always shabbily dressed. They did without while he always dressed to the nines. He has Narcissist in neon, glaring from his forehead.

    • This is a better link:

      “In early September 2009, the North Carolina State Board of Elections began an official audit of Harrell’s campaign finance records, citing irregularities, unusual activity and incomplete entries.[5] Among the items that reportedly caught the attention of auditors were hundreds of dollars in campaign expenditures at clothing and luggage stores marked as “committee meetings” on the paperwork Harrell filed.[6]

      Shortly after the Board of Elections’ announcement, the NC House Speaker’s Office announced that the Speaker had ordered an ethics investigation of Harrell over his financial records.[7]

      In his first run for State House in 2006, Harrell was criticized for delinquent tax payments for vehicles and property he owned. Harrell had 17 delinquent tax payments over an 11-year period totaling more than $3,100. One such tax bill was nearly eight years overdue.[8]

      On September 20, 2009, Harrell submitted a letter of resignation to House Speaker Joe Hackney, effective immediately, amid the ongoing controversy over campaign expenditures totaling more than $13,000, revelations he was living outside of his district, and his divorce from his wife.”

  • My sis is friends with the ex of Mark Bittman (of How to Cook Everything fame). NPD supreme, cheater deluxe. How to Fuck Everything more like.

    • Damn, I didn’t want to know that! His cooking info is so good, and I love his videos on the NYTimes site.

      Ah well, like many artistic types, I guess we can admire and enjoy the work while staying WELL AWAY from the person.

      • Here is what I do, the second I find out about a cheater, I divorce them from my “interest” list. I no longer follow them for their talents, i.e., movies, music, cooking shows, books, sports etc. Wonder what would happen if every chump did this? Let’s say, everyone, especially men, who have been cheated on, would discontinue watching Tiger Woods play golf. Hmmmm That would mean the human race would have developed a sense of “general” honour, respect for what is right, moral and decent. What a concept! In other words, you could not just be talented, you would have to be honorable as well. It is like shunning and it works or Quakers and minonites, etal, would not have been so successful.

      • And just make it better, he ditched long-standing (suffering, supporting) wife #1 just when he hit it big and the dollars started pouring in. He was, shall we say, not generous in the settlement phase. Not a gentleman. Didn’t even play one on TV.

        I know, I used to really love that big yellow cookbook too….

  • The folks mentioned are relatively notorious.
    Seems folks often overlook John McCain, perhaps due to his service in Vietnam.

  • Kelsey Grammar (not sure if I spelled that right) is one of many that makes me sick. I can’t stand watching anything that he’s in on tv. Same for ol Arnold & countless others. sheesh

  • A quote from Ted Bundy contained in a Wikipedia article, sums it up:

    “The big payoff for me,” he said, “was actually possessing whatever it was I had stolen. I really enjoyed having something … that I had wanted and gone out and taken.”

    Possession proved to be an important motive for rape and murder as well. Sexual assault, he said, fulfilled his need to “totally possess” his victims. At first he killed the women “as a matter of expediency … to eliminate the possibility of [being] caught”; but later, murder became part of the “adventure”. “The ultimate possession was, in fact, the taking of the life,” he said. “And then … the physical possession of the remains.”

  • Incidentally… anyone having difficulty posting over at Huffpo? I think I may have angered the modgods – only one liners are getting thru for me 🙁

  • And think Mr. Sanford has gone off the deep end. He spent today (I am NOT kidding) debating a ***cardboard cut-out*** of Nancy Pelosi (elected from California, BTW, and not on the ballot in South Carolina):

    You should watch this video. What. A. TOOL. I think he is the only guy on the planet who thought Clint Eastwood’s conversation with an empty chair was a good idea. A great argument that cheating is often the result of very poor judgment and a disconnection from reality.

    Between this guy’s ex wife, Jenny (very sharp), Colbert-Bush, and Speaker Pelosi, this guy seems to have a problem relating to strong women. In real life, at least.

    • Sanford’s lost his effing-MIND. And how’s this for typical Narcissist behavior: the first time he bothered to introduce the Argentine mistress to his kids was on stage, in front of a crowd, right after he won the runoff election on April 2. The effing GALL of that man, I swear.
      “Everything’s totally great on the surface! See?? People are clapping! Look how I sparkle – oh hey, dearest children of mine – while you’re in the spotlight and in front of these people, let me introduce you to the OW – we’re engaged now, btw – no, no this isn’t awkward at all! Now SMILE for the camera!”

      And that idiot actually asked Jenny Sanford (his ex wife) to help him on this campaign. Because she was so great at running the campaign (and, clearly the brains of that whole operation), he really couldn’t think of one reason why she wouldn’t be falling over herself to work for him again and place him back in his beloved spotlight?

      (facepalm) Ahh, my Ex also hails from the Palmetto State.
      “South Carolina is too small for a republic, and too large for an insane asylum.”
      – James L. Petigru

      • I REALLY like Jenny Sanford, she is the only wife of a politician I can recall in recent memory who did not “stand by her man”. She kicked his ass to the curb, she rocks 🙂

  • I nominate Rupert Sanders to the Showcase a Narcissist. He was the movie director (movie directors are hardly ever narcissists you know) who got caught canoodling with Kristen Stewart by the paparazzi. Most of the tabloid attention was on her of course, being one of the most famous people in the world, but he was the one married to a beautiful fashion model with two adorable children. And the fact that Kristen was living with the biggest teen heartthrob since Elvis, to go have a make-out with a man old enough to be her father, made the whole drama pretty irresistible.

    But Rupert had way more to loose. And he’s risking it all for a brief fling with someone I’m sure he had no intention of ever having an actual relationship with, and probably wouldn’t be able to continue having sex with.

    For Rupert I think it was all about trophy collecting. I think he wanted to walk past the supermarket magazine rack and see five magazine covers with the beautiful face of the women who’s mouth he had just traded spit with. That has got to stroke your ego like nothing else in the world. And for that he scarified a ten year marriage with two children. The women he had at home, his wife Liberty Ross was gorgeous. Apparently he convinced her to quit a lucrative fashion modeling career in London to move to Hollywood so he could advance his career in films. So after being at the center of the whole swinging British fashion scene, she’s left by herself in a house on the top of the Hollywood Hills where she gets to see the tabloids burning up with photos of her husband with his face on various parts of Miss Stewart’s anatomy. She reportedly Tweeted one word “Wow.”

  • Interesting timing. On my very long commute to work a couple of days ago, I heard on the radio that Sanford was running again, and that his wife had filed charges against him for trespassing. My jaw dropped – I couldn’t believe he was back on the political scene so quickly.

    Then while flipping channels I caught the newest local talk show host – Herman Cain. You may remember him from his brief run for the Republican nomination. Which I’m pretty sure was finally derailed when his mistress came out and announced that Mr. Conservative Family Values had been engaging in very un-family enhancing activities with her for years. And sending her lots of money – hush money or otherwise. I think he was genuinely surprised that this little “news nugget” (one of his favorite catch phrases) actually came to light.

    And of course on this day, he was once again railing about “family values” – I think it was something along the lines of gay marriage being the end of civilization as we know it. All I could think was, yeah – since you are such a shining example of how well heterosexuals have respected the institution. Very public narcissist.

    • You stole my nomination! Herman Cain is a douche and before Ginger Winter spoke up he had a real shot at the republican nomination for prez;

      Cain’s rise in popularity was reversed within weeks by numerous allegations of sexual misconduct and the acknowledgment that he made a series of payments to a friend, Ginger Winter, without his wife’s knowledge. Winter claims the two had a 13-year affair.

      Herman Cain announced his suspension from the 2012 race, in dramatic fashion, on December 3rd 2011 in Atlanta. It was the day he was supposed to have opened his official campaign headquarters in Georgia.

    • One of my liberal icons. Totally paralyzed from the waist down. Had probably the most stressful professional life of any United States President since Lincoln. Walked into a Great Depression and took us to war against Nazi Germany AND Imperial Japan. Other than LBJ, I don’t think we’ve had a more progressive President.

      And yet he STILL found time to cheat on his devoted wife.


      • Well, it was a political marriage — she wasn’t really devoted, she had something going on with the women in her life.

        But he cheated on his mistresses and they knew one another and still went for it. Sharing him.

        And of course the whole four term thing…who would do that? Except for a narc.

        Of course he was a great president. There is no questioning that.

        So I really do have to believe that in some regards, narcissim can serve well in certain professions.

        • My h and I met him when he was gov. or Arakansas, at a very small gathering and he played his saxaphone. I have never, let me repeat that, I have NEVER met a man who worked as hard as he did to make eye contact with every female in the room. He didn’t just shake hands with the gals, he “held” their hands. He was so creepy, even way back then. He and Hillary are brands which are marketed as such and thus, you don’t shoot the goose that lays the golden eggs, It is just business to them. Be patient, it will all crumble.

      • “Found” time to cheat? No, this is an untruth, he “made” lots of time to cheat and he used his status to create the opportunities and all that time with the OW. Poor, dutiful wife was home, alone, standing behind her man, just like Hillary Clinton.

      • Umm, pretty sure Elanor played for the other team as she had an affair/relationship with Lorena Hickok, her biographer.

        Also, they were cousins. Ick.

    • I used to live up there. Been to the first Presidential library at the Roosevelt estate (use to go sledding at the Vanderbilt estate).

      I mentioned down thread, aside from being his cousin, Elanor had a relationship with Lorena Hickok, her biographer, so she played for the other team 🙂 Not that there is anything wrong with that. It was just an unusual marriage.

    • yeah… I’m from NY… and then what was it? about 2 or 3 years later, he got his own TV show. wtf??? he should’ve been in prison! what is worse than a cheater? one who cheats and then arrests others for cheating. That takes some ginormous balls, now doesn’t it?

      and no one is mentioning our beloved Anthony (dick) Weiner.

  • Wow. None of us have mentioned the Kennedy clan. Plural. An entire dysfunctional family of cheaters.

    It was common knowledge that JFK was notorious. And if any betrated spouse has doubts as to whether it was something about you that caused your cheater to go off the rails, check out Jacqueline Kennedy. Beautiful, smart, gracious and apparently a wonderful mother. She should be a poster girl for betrayed spouses everywhere, with the tag line “It’s not your fault”.

    But of course brother Teddy wins my vote for the all-time most egregious cheater. Driving Mary Jo Kopechne off a bridge and leaving her to drown. Not enough to just cheat, but you have to kill the affair partner, too? While it didn’t totally derail his political career, at least it (maybe) kept him out of the Oval Office. But it does tell me the general public really doesn’t care about infidelity. We was re-elected 7 times to the Senate. Maybe Sanford, Weiner, et. al aren’t as stupid as we think they are.

    • I heard a female comedian, and I can’t remember who, comment about Elin Nordegren after Tigers idiocy became public, that if SHE got cheated on by HIM, the rest of us chumps should never think our cheaters fucked around because of us.

      It was timely, and the comparison helped a lot.

  • Jeff Dunham (ventriloquist, comedian) My kids and I have laughed at his stuff for years… but the last bit I saw of him, he told a joke about his X… which struck me as odd as he used to tell sort of warm stories about his family… So I researched it a bit… turns out he turned in his wife for a newer model (his much younger personal trainer) I still think he is a talented entertainer but he isn’t a very good person.

  • Let’s not forget weasel willy – Bill Clinton. “I did not have sex with that woman.” No, she just gave him a bj till he came on her dress. Uggh. Complete lack of character.

      • The actual public quote was “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.” 🙂

        • Trust me when I say, “I know exactly what Clinton said.” Hilary had thrown the phone at him and he was sporting a black eye. Memorable, that is why his stupid statement came to mind when h spounted off. He kept with his stupid statement for a month, then in his shrinks office I asked if I could ask the questions and the shrink said that’s fine with me if it is okay with your h. H said he didn’t mind. Here is how it went.
          Me: Did you sleep with her?
          H: No
          Me: Did you go to her motel room?
          H: Yes.
          Me: Did she take her clothes off?
          H: Yes
          Me: Did she lie on the bed?
          H: Yes
          Me: Did she get under the covers?
          H: Yes
          Me: Did you take your clothes off?
          H: Not the first time. (Are you shitting me? There was more than once? I couldn’t believe it.)
          Shrink: To me, “He’s very childlike, isn’t he?” Got h’s number immediately.
          Me: Did you lie on the bed?
          H: Yes
          Me: Did you get under the covers?
          H: Yes
          Me: Did she sleep in that bed all night?
          H: Yes
          Me: Did you sleep in that bed all night?
          H: Yes

          Just as with Clinton, he thought he could, with a clear conscience say he didn’t “sleep” with her if the word “fuck” was not used. He had rationalized away the wrong he had done. “Not the first time,” how childlsh, as if that mattered.

  • I still feel for Jennifer Aniston. Her husband goes off to make a movie and humiliates her with his flagrant affair with Angelina Jolie.
    I cannot imagine what she went through with the whole world watching and the story plastered everywhere.

    • She cheated on brad too. And she got together with Justin when he was in a relationship. So…she I just as bad as Angelina.

      • ah yeah… forgot Justin was in a relationship. Reminds me of Ms. Julia Roberts… I’m pretty sure her husband was married when she met him.

        The problem is I think these celebrity stories just make cheaters think it’s cool and no big deal and sophisticated to cheat. You know… everybody does it!

  • Is Sanford the one whose wife wrote a book about the experience? I think a chump recommended it to me…

    Anyone read Elizabeth Edwards’ book? I would think it would be interesting but from what I read of the description it doesn’t sound like she talks about the infidelity much at all…

    • I saw Elizabeth Edwards on a talk show after the affair and her book came out and she was all about blaming the OW, so I turned it off – that was before I discovered my ex cheated on me. I just thought it was crazy to sit there and paint this OW as a home wrecker and defend her husband who actually was the most liable for the deed.

      • I still do believe that though (that you shouldn’t really blame the OW). Don’t get me wrong, I totally despise the OW and think she’s a piece of shit. But did I expect loyalty from her toward me? Not really. Do I care that much that she’s a piece of shit? Not really. I expected a hell of a lot more loyalty from my husband and it really really bothered me when he turned out to be a piece of shit.

          • Believe me, I do. OW has been married 34 years. Only uses old, young profile pictures. She used to be cute, now all the black eye make up, long claw fingernails, looks so shabby. Told h she couldn’t divorce her h because they couldn’t afford it. In the next minute she said, (actually these are from e-mails and texts, oh yes, have all 55 of them) I have a bank account with $34,000 in it and I put your name on the account and I have added your name to my checking account.” What’s wrong with that picture? They live in a lavish house, go on ski weekends, her mother is loaded, what a manipulator. After 8 1/2 months he has finally figured out that she was trying to buy him into marriage and when she did, she would own him. He would never be in control of his life again. Tsk, Tsk.

              • When I began reading all the e-mails, texts, etc. and after the shock began to wear off, I started noticing, as I re-read them, a thread running through all of them. The both lied profusely to each other. Huge, massive lies. Couldn’t believe their relationship was based on lied from each other and the “other” believed them all. Ate it up, hook line and sinker.

          • True, but I blame my ex a lot more. I expected more from him. And I kinda consider it more of an insult to not give a shit about her. She is so far beneath me it’s not even worth it to me to hate her. I knew she thought I wanted to talk to her, hated her, was jealous of her, blah blah blah. But really she is not even worth my time and energy. I became a lot more “meh” about her a lot quicker than him. Probably because I had more perspective with her than with him.

            • I loathe OW because she knew that my STBX was married. She came over to our house, abused my hospitality. And she’s stereotypical trailer park white trash. I once saw her try to schmooze the head of her company’s HR department, and remarked to my husband, “gee, she’s really transparent about trying to manipulate the HR person. Doesn’t she know that those kind of tactics are geared more toward men?” About 1.5 years later, she starts banging my STBX.

              But even so, STBX shoulders more of the blame. Like you, aE, I expected more from him. OW isn’t in my league in oh so many ways, but she’s convinced that I was jealous of her when we first met. I wasn’t, really, and I’m still not. I’m angry with her, but I know she goes for married men. She’s a deliberate homewrecker. But I’m angrier at STBX, since he went for a piece of tail that spreads her legs for any guy who buys her a drink.

              And he calls it, “love.”

  • I like to mention some of the least expected types. Barbara Wallters and Oprah. I think Whoopie Goldberg, too.
    All of them were on the attack of that moronic NPD Rielle Hunter. All were cheaters, themselves.

    • eeewww, Rielle Hunter. she had the GALL to get on TV and say that Elizabeth (already dead) was “no angel.” wtfwtfwtfwtf???

      and would someone tell me… please… why these idiots don’t use birth control? or am I just farting in a thunderstorm?

  • Clarence Thomas.

    Anyone remember his responses to the whole Anita Hill thing? They didn’t even have an affair, but my god, what a narc. Him and Scalia both.

  • Oh wait!……. I got it!
    The most narcissistic person ever. Not only did he have gazillions of side dishes, but he made them all very public, and made MILLIONS off of the whole culture of narcissism.

    Hugh Hefner.

  • Has anyone mentioned Charlie Sheen? Holy sh*t THAT guy….

    “I have tiger blood!” “I took probably more drugs than anyone could survive!” (I can hear Hunter S. Thompson laughing in his grave…)

    I like Two and a Half Men now that he’s not on it anymore. He was a douche both on and offscreen.

    • he IS a douche isnt he? LOL. thing is, hes a popular douche and there are millions out there just like him.

  • Can’t believe no one has mentioned Leann Rimes and Eddie Cibrian. There’s a whole internet cottage industry developing around these two narcs.

    • LOL. I think the entertainment industry has an over-representative sample of narcissists 🙂 Same with politics.

      And the unfortunate thing is… they tend to grab the headlines more often than their more humble and healthy colleagues because we tend to be more fascinated with their behavior.

    • I hesitated to mention LeAnn because I have known her since she was eleven years old, but here I go. She is the sweetest, kindest, and kind hearted person I know. She married young the first time and the pair were kind of growing up together, then ole what’s his name entered the picture. Hormones raged and the result was devestating to so many people. LeAnn’s mother, Belinda, could not come to grips with it all. After all, LeAnn’s father did the same thing to Belinda, even bringing his OW on to LeAnn’s tour bus and she was only fourteen years old at the time. Her now hsband, (yesterday was their second anniversary) screwed up royally, leaving a wife and children in his dust. I am so terribly disappointed in them both. I do not look at LeAnn the same way I have in the past, not since my h cheated on me. There are many with whom I now identify that before, I just ignored the truth, I guess. Wish we could collectively do something to stop the pain these people cause.

  • how about donald trump? how many times did he trade up for younger women?and the women? what kind of thinking would lead them to think that they wont be traded for a younger model?pun intended.
    we have this thing in our society where people believe that ” he or she who dies with the most toys and fuckbuddies wins”
    about the only politician i can think of off hand who isnt a total narc would be ron paul((i wonder why he never gets very far in the primary)) and btw imo his son fits neatly into that category.
    in the last 20 years or so we have had a rash of fucking around by those who stand behind the pulpit .benny hinns brother,joel hunters son and clint brown was caught spending $70,000 on women’s clothing that his wife and daughter never received.they had a nasty divorce shortly there after…
    ,,, just to name a few….

    IMHO its official the lunatics are in charge of the lunatic asylum

    is that why its sooo “in” to be a lunatic?

  • Tiger Woods! All ‘I was addicted to sex’ …. Hah! He was a great big Narc, eating cake and figuring he either wouldn’t get caught, or everybody would forgive him if he did!

    But there may be another reason there are so many NPDs among politicians and successful athletes and artistic types. There’s a prof somewhere in the States who thinks you can acquire NPD if people treat you too well for too long, there are no limits set, etc. I’ll try to find the info.

    I have hope that Obama isn’t NPD and wouldn’t become so, because I bet Michelle sets plenty of limits!

    • Yes! Tiger was going to be my nomination too. That photo spread announcing he’s dating Lindsey Vonn. Blech! Gross. And what the hell’s wrong with her anyway?

      Also, John Edwards. Screwing around while your wife is dying of cancer. I can’t imagine it gets worse than that.

  • Wouldn’t it be fair to say most politicians are narcistic to some degree, I think it has to be a personality trait that says “I have the solution” We are listing the cheating narcistics but I’ll bet there are alot more we don’t know about. I will date myself with this one because this one happened in 1988 Gary Hart and the yacht Monkey Business. He dared reporters because he thought he was too clever to get caught. And lets not forget JFK and RFK and MM

  • My husband (I wish I could say STBX, but things are not there yet, or more accurately stated, I chickened out) challenged me with a somewhat similar question – can you think of a person that you know of, within our network of friends, who hasn’t cheated or her/his partner hasn’t cheated on him/her. I have to admit, I had a really hard time naming people. And we are far from being celebrities or in the public eye, just your regular middle class Joe. The realization was frightening

    • AFA, our network of family, close friends, friends and acquaintances cuts a very wide swath and I will be honest, I only know of two people who fit your outlined profile. How weird is that?

    • Wow, AFA, that is sad. It’s horrible how common infidelity is now, and people don’t even seem to consider it a big deal.

      My ex NPD husband and I were married 20 years. All of our close friends are longterm marriages, and not one of them with infidelity or serious problems (that I know of). Our marriage was the only one to end, and end with such a bang (pun intended). None of our friends have anything to do with the ex, and they think he is a pig.

  • I nominate Dominique Strauss Kahn!!!! Although that’s basically shooting fish in a barrel, the whole universe knows what a narc he is. Sure, DSK, beautiful young women frolic naked w/fat disgusting old men at parties because it’s FUN, not because they’re paid …. And you get to screw around and keep your smart wife too! NOT. I LOVE to see people like that fall hard. Too bad Tiger is making it back into the ‘winner’s circle’.

  • You know a narcissist when you see one! I was married to a CEO type. We moved all over the country in order for HIM to pursue his dream. Little did I know about why he left his jobs———he was fired. It was never his fault,. subordinates were usually jealous in his delusional mind. Yeah for Jenny Sanford getting out. Now her life isn’t all about HIM!

  • I feel Mark Sanford is an extremely effeminent man(not that there is anything wrong with that 🙂 )

  • Please note–there is a clinical distinction between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and merely being narcissistic. Below, I speak only of NPD:

    NPD Democrats in the news:

    Hillary Clinton (extremely easy to diagnose)
    Obama (took a while, but with Secret Service agent tell-alls, finally provable)
    Debbie Wasserman Shultz
    Nancy Pelosi (she is quite abusive to junior Democrat Congressmen)
    Anthony Weiner (not quite in the news, but quoted recently in response to Trump’s statements about Huma Abedin. Note that Abedin is narcissistic supply for both Weiner and Hillary Clinton.)

    NPD Republicans in the news:

    Donald Trump (too easy)
    John Kasich
    Newt Gingrich (not too current, but still in the news occasionally)
    Josh Duggar (plus the sexual predator component)
    Sarah Palin (and daughter Bristol Palin)

    I have my suspicions about Martin O’ Malley, Jessa Duggar, Mike Huckabee, Carly Fiorina, Rand Paul, John Boehner, and Marco Rubio. Still not enough evidence yet on any of them, but there are hints.

    Lindsey Vonn’s dad is an NPD for sure, which led to her being able to date obvious NPD Tiger Woods. She is probably born and raised to be a source of narcissistic supply with such a domineering father. The same is true of the toxic father-daughter relationship of Amy Winehouse. Her dad is a certain NPD.

    Steve Jobs is a certain NPD, as is Mark Zuckerberg. Watch the movies or read the books about them–it’s too obvious.

    Both Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are also obvious NPDs. So is Kim’s mom Kris Jenner.

    Chelsea Clinton is probably one. Word of how abusive she is to her aides at the Clinton Foundation came out recently. Not enough proof yet, though.

    Julian Assange is a definite NPD.

    Oh, and in really recent news, the killer Vester Flanagan also is an extreme and obvious NPD. That virgin kid that shot up UC Santa Barbara, Elliot Rodger, is also an extreme NPD that let his strong feelings of entitlement turn to mass murder. Same with Norway’s Anders Breivik.

    George Zimmerman appears to be one too (can’t seem to stop abusing girlfriends and getting in fights/shootouts with people). I don’t have enough proof yet to say for sure.

    Chris Brown and Rhianna are both very strong NPDs.

    Joe Jackson also an obvious NPD–see the damage he did to Michael Jackson? Wow. Same goes for Bobby Brown (but probably not Whitney Houston herself).

    John Mayer is an NPD for sure. So is Tom Cruise.

    Rosie O’ Donnell is a screaming example of an NPD. No doubts about that one.

    Megan Fox is an NPD, also no doubts about that one.

    A lot of news personalities are: Piers Morgan, Brian Williams, Geraldo Rivera, and Bill O’Reilly are certainly NPDs.

    I’m pretty sure economist Paul Krugman is one, though I don’t have enough evidence yet. His enemy, investor Nassim Taleb is probably also an NPD.

    George Soros is definitely an NPD. Absolutely no doubts about that one.

    Easy to diagnose, former NFL player Aaron Hernandez.

    The Cincinnati rapist, Ariel Castro was a strong NPD. His mother is probably also one, based on his accounts of how abusive she was to him.

    Ayn Rand’s mother is absolutely an NPD, and I am 99% sure Ayn Rand herself is one. The book Atlas Shrugged is filled with NPD-style manifesto-like sections.

    The list makes it sound like they’re everywhere. Well, not quite. Estimates are about 2% of the population (1 in 50) are NPDs, and they vary in strength. Some are socialized well enough to operate acceptably in society, and some are just too toxic and violent to stay out of prison.

    And of course there are normal people who are just a bit narcissistic, so it is hard to tell how many NPDs really exist around us unless they are quite obvious. Such types tend to drift upwards towards grandiose careers like rock/pop star, TV/movies, politics, sports, so it is generally easy to find them in the public eye.

  • Oh, forgot a few more really-obvious NPDs:

    Alec Baldwin
    Charlie Sheen
    Britney Spears
    Justin Bieber
    Gwyneth Paltrow
    Amanda Bynes
    Paris Hilton’s mom, Kathy Hilton, and Paris’ brother Conrad Hilton. Paris herself does not appear to be an NPD, though she has some narcissistic traits.
    Kim Richards

    A lot of them make total messes of their lives by destroying interpersonal relationships around them and seeking ever more sources of narcissistic supply, especially celebrity. Their grandiosity and impulsivity usually causes them to spend everything they have, so when they inevitably begin to lose popularity and lose income, they typically go broke.

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