Hi, Chump Lady,
Three days after Christmas, my husband told me that our 18-year relationship was over, that he hadn’t been happy in years, and that anyone could see it coming. (Nobody saw it coming). It only took me a week to uncover the five-month affair that he’d been having with a co-worker at his new job. He had been out of work nine months prior to that, so he left before we could ever begin to build back our savings. He’s still very much seeing his affair partner.
In addition to leaving me in a financial hole, he left our home in complete disrepair with a list of things to fix as long as my arm.
We have nothing in the bank and repairs that need to be made. I wrote him about this. He responded, but I have no idea what it means. I have my doctorate in Comparative Literature. I literally analyze texts for a living, but this could be written in Sanskrit for all I know what to do with it. (I would say Greek but I read ancient Greek and this ain’t that).
Can you help? I need a translator. Badly.
Here’s his note. I don’t know what this even is….
First of all, thanks for all you do. I know this is not easy for you and you are trying to do it all yourself. Remember to breathe and that everything will be fine. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am here and can help in any way you need.
As for the doors I would really like the opportunity to fix them myself. I took one off and understand the issue lies in the rollers and possibly the lower track. I am sure I could fix them both for a small fraction of the cost of replacing them. I’ve watched YouTube videos about it and checked Lowes/Home Depot for parts and they have them. This would save us a considerable amount of money. Please just let me try.
Thanks so much,
The only door this guy needs is one slammed in his face. Please don’t ask him about home repairs. It’s a seller’s market. Best move would be to scrape together whatever funds you can muster, see a lawyer, get a property settlement, and get out from under Project House and Project Man. He needs to be your EX-husband.
I don’t know what this even is….
It’s some nonsense to keep him in cake. Faux gratitude for the unspecified things you do. And a plea to Trust Him to take care of things he has absolutely no intention of taking care of. You stay in limbo (he’s coming! with his toolbox and his youtube video! to save US!) and he stays free of consequences.
No Sanskrit skills necessary. He’s a fuckwit who pretends to care because… cake.
Tracy, that wasn’t snarky enough.
What? I have to roust the Universal Bullshit Translator from its slumber? Sigh…
First of all, thanks for all you do.
My 18-years of unadulterated misery aside, thank you. Never stop being a wife appliance. Especially given the chump supply chain issues right now.
I know this is not easy for you and you are trying to do it all yourself.
I care so much about your burden, I’m over here with Schmoops, letting you deal with it. I know it’s not easy for you being left in the vapor trail of my awesomeness.
Remember to breathe and that everything will be fine.
Think of me as a lamaze coach. And my abandonment of you as a ten-pound baby you must push through a tiny orifice. Breathe!
I also have advice like: “Gravity! Don’t float off into the ether!” and “Remember to age! Time moves linearly!”
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am here and can help in any way you need.
In that whole abandon-you-for-my-coworker kind of way.
As for the doors I would really like the opportunity to fix them myself.
Because you can trust a guy who was unemployed for nine months and did jack shit about these doors.
I took one off and understand the issue lies in the rollers and possibly the lower track.
I am a track door savant.
I am sure I could fix them both for a small fraction of the cost of replacing them.
I am sure I could fix them. And save us money. And be awarded an HGTV show on track door makeovers. I have many imaginings.
I’ve watched YouTube videos about it and checked Lowes/Home Depot for parts and they have them.
So, I’ve left you stuck with a dilapidated house, alone, to clean up a giant mess — but I have watched ENTIRE videos. And searched a website! Such is my caring.
Next I shall watch a YouTube video on divorce settlements and money transfers. Were you expecting an actual divorce settlement and money transfer? It is enough that I have researched these things.
Also on my watch list: Empathy, Accountability, and Adulting Season 2.
This would save us a considerable amount of money. Please just let me try.
US would like to try to save US money. But ME is checked out with ME dick.
I would resolve this, but you’re the cruel gate keeper who won’t let me try.
Please let me try. Just one more Youtube video! I have thoughts about breathing!
Door falls off track. Crushes fuckwit. The End.