Ask Chump LadyGot a question for Chump Lady? Write to me at

Please leave your screen name (or I will make one up for you). I review letters to publish them. If you do not want your letter posted, please make that clear. I will not take a post down after I publish it. It is up to you to remove any identifying information. (But also be assured that these stories are so common that you’re really not as unique as you think or fear.)

Alas, I get so much mail that I can’t personally respond to every letter. (Sometimes I do, but most often I do not.)

Most important — if I answer your letter PLEASE post a comment on your thread. Chump Nation is here for support.

A few caveats and disclaimers — I’m not a lawyer, I can’t give you legal advice. I’m a chump. My advice comes from experience and reading tens of thousands of other chump stories. Apologies, but I cannot accept pay to Skype or offer personal advice or life coach or anything else like that. I’m a chump. (And isn’t the whole concept of a life coach kind of mortifying anyway?) I publish letters so we can all benefit from each other’s hard-won wisdom. However, if you’d like to donate to the blog, that would be super awesome. (It costs a couple hundred dollars a month to operate the site. Not including my time.)

If you’ve got a super scary situation? Check out the National Domestic Abuse Hotline. (And clear your browser history!)

If you are the affair partner and wonder if you should tell the chump? (I get this same letter over and over and over…) YES, TELL. Provide some proof, if possible, and then let go of the outcome. Oh, and get some therapy. Thank you.

Finally, don’t worry that your situation makes you Freak of the Week. I promise you, there is nothing remotely unique about being played by a cheater. No one will know its you. You’re safe! We just bitchslap the chumpiness out of you because we care.