Recent Posts

The “Redeemable Cheater” Fallacy

The first rule of writing publicly, they tell you, is Never Read the Comments. But hey, I’m a chump and rejection is my superpower, so I’ve been known to follow my link backs… and read the commentary about this blog. It’s an interesting exercise. I encourage anyone trying to make a convincing argument about anything […]

When They Look Good on Paper

Today is part two of How Not to Get Chumped Again. Yesterday we discussed reciprocity, today we’re going to examine compatibility. I have to give my husband credit for this nugget o’ insight. He noticed the expression coming up again and again “Well, he looked good on paper…” People fall into this trap all the […]

Un-Chumping Post-Infidelity, A Primer

Since starting this blog, I’ve been asked several times in various different ways how I transformed into a happily married person after infidelity. Hey, you were such an epic chump — how did you ever trust anyone again? Did you fix your picker? Are you just stupid lucky? Where did you meet your husband? How […]

Dear Chump Lady, I don’t feel mighty. I got left.

Dear Chump Lady, Being the sleuthy sleuth I am, I discovered my husband of 15 years’ “emotional” affair (um yeah…her husband hired a private investigator that put that silly belief to rest) within days, since he suddenly went from sending about 300 texts a month to 7000 texts a month. All to my kids’ preschool […]

Dear Chump Lady, How do I deal with my cheater dad?

Dear Chump Lady, I am a college student who watched her parent’s marriage implode four years ago due to my father’s infidelity. My mom, without many close female friends or family members, slopped her grief on me. I know a lot more details about the divorce than perhaps I should. The short version is that […]

Divorce Hacks

So yesterday, my blogger friend The Happy Hausfrau remembered a column I’d written “Divorce? Hey You’re Doing It All Wrong!” where someone took her to task for cut and pasting Tom Cruise’s head on to a family photo (in place of her ex). I thought it was funny. Some awful commentator, who we will call […]

Dear Chump Lady, Why is he suddenly nice?

Dear Chump Lady, I am so confused. I am going through a divorce. Eight years of marriage and the discard was sudden and brutal. I am just getting over the crazy shit that has happened. I have been smeared as the person who is having the affair, so no one will speak to me. I have […]