Recent Posts

Cheater Freak Christmas Countdown!

It’s time again for our Cheater Freak Christmas Countdown! To the newbies, every year we try to best each other with our cheater freak stories. In the past, the winners got their submissions cartooned in the new year. This year, the winner gets a copy of my new audio book! (I know, I know, it’s not […]

UBT: “We tried to stop so many times, but we couldn’t”

Sometimes people send the Universal Bullshit Translator single sentence snacks, kinda like throwing fish to a sea lion. Gobble, gobble, nom, nom…That all ya got? Elli flung this tasty nugget to the UBT: “We tried to stop so many times, but we couldn’t.” Yes, it’s just one sentence, but so layered and complex in its […]

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like D-Day

One of the lasting “gifts” of infidelity for me is that the holidays can’t roll around without me thinking, “Someone’s going to have a D-Day right about now.” D-days, otherwise known as “discovery days” or “damn my life is nothing like I thought days” or “dial a lawyer now days”,  can happen anytime, but they’re more […]

Dear Chump Lady, I miss being a full-time parent

Hello Chump Lady, So I live in a part of the country that never snows. My ex and and his soon-to-be Ho-Wife took my kids on a trip up north this weekend. My little girl just texted me that it is snowing. She has never seen snow in her life before now, and I am […]

Yeah, That’s Not an Apology

Given the recent news cycle, I thought it would be appropriate to have a little primer on Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse. GINR is full of those weak-ass apologies that upon closer inspection don’t really convey “sorry” at all. If you’re a chump, you’ve probably put a lot of stock in weak-ass apologies. Maybe you even begged […]

Some Holiday Uplift

Any choral music geeks out there in Chump Nation? It’s Sunday night and I just got back from a performance at the Kennedy Center in Washington D.C. to hear Candlelight Christmas by the Washington Chorus. It’s our second year attending, and maybe I’m all goopy from the Handel’s Messiah singalong (AND HE WILL REIGN FOREVER! […]

What to Say to Sanctimonious Rubberneckers?

Tis the season for unsolicited advice. Apparently, a bunch of you aren’t doing divorce right, and some well-meaning onlookers (cough…) have seen fit to point out your shortcomings. In yesterday’s comments, “Fern” imagined a rebuttal for busy bodies: “When you find out your spouse has been fucking strangers up the ass while you are home […]

Dear Chump Lady, The cheater wants to take family photos

Dear Chump Lady, We have a newborn. He left and filed divorce when I was 5 months pregnant after I caught him on a hook-up site, probably several, with an HIV test and 25 condoms. Awesome! Anyway, we have a 17-year-old as well. We meet at sporting events, sometimes he just picks us up. He […]