Recent Posts

Your Days on the Marriage Police Force?

I was once approached online by a nice man Trevor, who sent a complimentary email introducing himself and his website, thinking we had much in common. He wanted to inform me and my readers of his services. His website was a commercial sales site for catching cheaters and other miscreants — including lazy employees and […]

Dear Chump Lady, The cheater doesn’t know I’m pregnant

Dear Chump Lady, Please chump some sense into me. I separated from my soon-to-be-ex-husband almost 2 years ago… following so many D-days that I won’t even bother quantifying them. He cheated A LOT and I chumped just as much. We were together nearly 12 years, married for 5… and, hindsight being what it is, I […]

UBT: Affair Proof Your Marriage

“Affair Proof Your Marriage” articles are so ubiquitous, I hesitate to feed them to the Universal Bullshit Translator. It just rolled its circuits at me. Really? This crap again? Don’t you have some juicy psychobabble from a certified Yoga Imago Sex Therapist I can parse? Are you really going to make me read “keep the home […]

Please Don’t Kill Yourself for a Fuckwit

I get a lot of sad letters at Chump Lady. Letters like: “I know I should leave him. But I am in pain, I really really love him so much!!! My life is meaningless without him. I think about him every single minute. I keep hoping he will realize I am the best girl, without […]

Dear Chump Lady, Is she a cheater because of her dad?

Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been chumped for the second time. My soon-to-be-ex Michelle and I first met in high school. At the time I had a huge crush on her, but she was involved with someone. Fast forward to after high school, I had just broken up with my girlfriend of two years. When lo […]

Hopium Translations

Chumpy hearts die hard. Armed with the smallest evidence that a freak still cares, a chump will assign great significance to scraps. HE CALLED (to ask that I pick up his dry-cleaning.) HE RETURNED (to get his kayak). SHE WANTS ME (can I babysit tonight?) Sigh. It’s what makes us chumps — idiotically ascribing decent […]

Where Did Chump Lady Come From?

I was not always a bad ass. People say the nicest things to me on this blog, and I feel compelled to remind them that I was a blithering chump. The chumpiest. I chased the unicorn at a full gallop. Had four D-Days. Wrote the goopiest, most mortifying entreaties to my cheater to not cheat […]

The Mindfuckery of Reverse Victim Offender

There must be a bazillion “How To Tell If He/She’s Cheating” articles on the interwebs. You know, the usual — new cologne, sudden penchant for 9-hour Pilates classes, weird showering habits, furtive texting, requires cavity search to reveal cell phone… But here’s the real clue you’re dealing with a cheater, and it’s not lipstick on […]