Recent Posts

Chump Lady Slouches Toward Another Year

Today is my birthday and every year I rerun the first birthday column I wrote in 2012. It’s a meditation on craptacular chumpy birthdays, and what a difference a new life — and a new partner — makes. (Not that you can’t have the new life without a new partner. This always bears repeating.) Fair […]

UBT: ‘Mark Is Fine’

Dear Chump Lady, After I kicked out my cheating ex-boyfriend Mark, he moved in with one of my best friends, Heidi, as a “roommate.” Yeah, right. I went no contact with them both because I needed to step away from the drama, but Heidi just sent me a Christmas card which I hoped you could […]

Esther Perel’s Myth of the Good Cheater

So, Esther Perel follows me on Twitter. Which is big of her considering I told her to bite me. On the other hand, there might be something in it for her as she’s writing a book on infidelity, according to the New York Times, and is only taking on new clients “who have experienced infidelity.” Perhaps she’s studying […]

‘My Sister Blames Me for My Husband’s Affair’

Dear Chump Lady, I just had a conversation with my sister about my cheating husband. I can’t seem to get it through her head that his cheating wasn’t because there were marital problems. Nothing pisses me off more than having to listen to people say, “Well, he cheated because he wasn’t getting what he needed […]

It’s the End of the World or the Beginning. I Can’t Tell.

Isn’t it weird how the worst of times can overlap with the best of times? I’ve been here in northern Michigan, at my folk’s home, working remotely, hiding from the news cycle for several weeks. (Mr. CL was here too, but had to head back earlier.) I’ve spent my days weeding the garden, moving mulch, […]

Sad Sausage Tales?

The sad sausage self-pity channel probably provokes more Stupid Shit Cheaters Say than the other two channels, rage and “charm.” It’s kind of absurd for chumps to expect comfort from the cheaters who gutted us, but it is exponentially more ridiculous that cheaters want sympathy from chumps. Really, dude, you want me to understand that you’re […]

When Will I Feel Indifferent?

Dear Chump Lady, How I wish I had found your book and website before I read Shirley Glass’s sexist, apologist Not Just Friends with him or spent $600 for him to charm a couples’ counselor into telling me that we “clearly share[d] one of the most special bonds” she had seen, yadda yadda yadda. So […]

He’s Sketchy, But Is He Cheating?

Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been married to a man for 20 years. From day one, he has done some questionable things. Maintained a dating profile (from what I can tell, it never went further than initial response, aka “I hooked you” ego kibble.) After I found these repeatedly, he seemed to stop with that. However, […]