Recent Posts

Stupid Cheater Life Plans

A discussion broke out Wednesday about Stupid Cheater Life Plans. You know, that ever swirling kaleidoscope of Potential and Opportunity that is a career in soap making/kiteboarding/beer brewing/puppy snuggling/clog recycling… You gave up your day job? PUPPY SNUGGLING IS A GROWTH INDUSTRY! Stupid Cheater Life Plans are those passing whims cheaters want to pass off as […]

Dear Chump Lady, The OW wants $25,000

Hi Chump Lady, The OW keeps contacting my husband and says that she won’t go away until she “gets” something as compensation for her wasted time with him (and for revenge I suspect, as after 3 years, he chose me). She wants a pay-off for going away. The past year she has sporadically contacted my […]

Dear Chump Lady, He wants to move to New Zealand

Dear Chump Lady, We’ve been separated almost 10 months. He has a girlfriend and is still seeing her, as far as I know. He is emotionally constipated. We never talk about anything. He never expressed regret, never said he wanted to be with me. We have three kids, who live with me now. We started […]

You’d Like Them If You Really Knew Them

One of the classic “Stupid Shit Cheaters Say” utterances is, “You know, if you met (the Schmoopie), you’d really like (him/her)! They’re a lot like you!” Yeah, you know if the circumstances were different, and this person wasn’t fucking your spouse, I’m sure you’d really enjoy scrapbooking together. It’s a patently moronic cake fantasy come […]

UBT: I cheated because you’re stale

Dear Chump Lady, I’m about 6 months out from D-Day, and a few weeks short of when I found out my now ex-wife was having an affair. I suppose on the grand scale of Chumpdom, I made out with luck. Our marriage is now officially legally dissolved (“no-fault”, whatever the hell that means), with no […]

Your Days on the Marriage Police Force?

I was once approached online by a nice man Trevor, who sent a complimentary email introducing himself and his website, thinking we had much in common. He wanted to inform me and my readers of his services. His website was a commercial sales site for catching cheaters and other miscreants — including lazy employees and […]

Dear Chump Lady, The cheater doesn’t know I’m pregnant

Dear Chump Lady, Please chump some sense into me. I separated from my soon-to-be-ex-husband almost 2 years ago… following so many D-days that I won’t even bother quantifying them. He cheated A LOT and I chumped just as much. We were together nearly 12 years, married for 5… and, hindsight being what it is, I […]

UBT: Affair Proof Your Marriage

“Affair Proof Your Marriage” articles are so ubiquitous, I hesitate to feed them to the Universal Bullshit Translator. It just rolled its circuits at me. Really? This crap again? Don’t you have some juicy psychobabble from a certified Yoga Imago Sex Therapist I can parse? Are you really going to make me read “keep the home […]