Recent Posts

Dear Chump Lady, My ex-wife has some weird requests

Dear Chump Lady, It has been 4 years since we divorced. I found out she was on a dating site. She confessed she was dating a number of men. I moved out and have been focused on my kids and life. I did not date, but decided recently to start dating as I have a […]

Fix Your Picker Tips

Hey, it’s Friday and maybe you have a date this weekend. Or a bad rash just thinking about dating. Or maybe there’s still a cheater snoring on your sofa. What you need are BOUNDARIES! Today’s Friday challenge is How to Fix Your Picker. If you’re a recovering chump like me, you need this skillset. And […]

Dear Chump Lady, Where’s the data on reconciliation?

Dear Chump Lady, Here is what would have helped move me forward, something that seems more rare than unicorns themselves: unicorn research. I’d expected that relationship experts would have gobs of years-long, scientifically blessed research on topics that really matter when you’re struggling to figure out what to do, right? Because when you go unicorn […]

The Smugness of Friendly Divorce

I loathe the term “conscious uncoupling.” From what I can figure, it’s a smugger kind of divorce without the gluten. On the one hand, I’m thrilled this bit of word salad is getting the snark and derision it so rightly deserves, on the other hand the notion that divorce should be free of baser emotions […]

Dear Chump Lady, What do I say to the people who knew?

Dear Chump Lady: How is one supposed to relate to people the cheater told about his affair? These are people he burdened with his secret, for whatever reason (validation?), that then were faced with the uncomfortable situation of feeling like they needed to “keep it to themselves”, for whatever reason. I actually confronted one of […]

The Silent Chumps

The first year I started this blog, I was asked to appear on a HuffPo video panel. The subject was on being friendly with your exes. (Mine was the “no thanks” vote.) Before the segment began, the other panelists and I were chatting and introducing ourselves, off air. I said howdy, mentioned my blog, and […]

Narcissist Mixtapes?

I bet you think this song is about you… don’t you? Don’t you? Oh narc-y pathos. As you will recall on Tuesday, Dumped Chump sent us this gem by her cheating ex: You will never understand and I can’t explain. Please listen to the song nothingman by Pearl Jam. Given the amount of snark this […]

The Bullshit That Is the ‘Trust Bank’

CN, why haven’t we deconstructed the bullshit trope of the Trust Bank yet? OMG, I’ve let you down! Recently, I got a letter that went like this: Two years into the relationship he left his email open and I found the Craigslist ads, dating site profiles, etc…, but he eagerly agreed to couples counseling and […]