Recent Posts

Chump Nation Gives Thanks

For chumps outside the States, today is the Friday before Thanksgiving, (this coming Thursday) — a holiday commemorating the Pilgrim’s first harvest in the new world. The Pilgrim settlers survived the winter thanks to Native Americans, who showed them how to farm crops. And then the settlers repaid the Native Americans by decimating their race […]

Cool. Bummer. Wow.

Dear Chump Lady, Please help! I do not know how to navigate this entire divorce mess with my two teenage daughters. My youngest sees her father every other weekend. This includes time spent with the OW. This weekend they took a day trip and she took many pictures on her phone from the day. She […]

The Pick Me Dance and Polyamory

Hi Chump Lady, I think I’m almost out of the woods with getting over my cheater, but right as I get to “meh,” I realize that I’m still quite angry at him and want to contact him. We began in an “open relationship” where he assured me that he wasn’t interested in the other woman […]

Dear Chump Lady, Where do I put his stuff?

Dear Chump Lady, I need some advice on what to do with cheater’s stuff. My partner of 16 years left me and our 9-year-old for the Other Woman (aka new love of life/soulmate) 5 weeks ago after second D-Day and moved straight from our family home into the new love nest. He has known Schmoopie […]

Dear Chump Lady, I drunk dialed

Dear Chump Lady, I was in a six-year relationship with a compulsive liar, so I have really appreciated your articles. We broke up last year. He proposed on my birthday. Unproposed two weeks later saying his parents did not approve. He got married last month. That’s that. I was wondering whether you could give me […]

What Advice Would You Give an Earlier You?

Who wouldn’t love a do-over? I’m sure a few of you navigated this shit perfectly right out of the starting gate, but most of us floundered in the most humiliating of ways. If you could go back in time (and no, you don’t get to wish your whole relationship away, the time machine only allows […]

Managing Divorce Expectations

It’s always a good idea to manage your expectations around most things. What’s this? A scented candle? NO, I WANTED A PONY! Life has a way of broadsiding us. This is especially true when it comes to divorce. Now, you would think I’m a cheerleader for divorce, given the tagline here — “Leave a Cheater, Gain […]

Your Time on the Marriage Police Force

If you didn’t leave right after D-Day, you’ve probably spent some time in Chump Police Academy. You know, those dark days of “trust but verify” spent trying to hack into email accounts, cell phone SIM cards, velcro-ing voice activated recorders under carseats… Just how far did you go? (Anyone have a shoe phone?) This column […]