Recent Posts

The Ones Who Just Leave

Hi CL, I was wondering if you could write a post dedicated to people who got abandoned. Sometimes I read your blog and feel like a lot of the “pick me” dancing, implementing No Contact and such are things I can’t do because he just picked up and left after I discovered he was cheating […]

Dear Chump Lady, Do I have to invite my ex to the party?

Hi Chump Lady, My ex-wife cheated many times and finally moved in with her affair partner 6 years ago. Our divorce was final 2 1/2 years ago. We were together for 25 years (married for 8) and raised two children (well, I raised them and she showed up from time to time). We were a […]

New Forums, New Features, News

Hey, I have an announcement to make — starting on Thursday, Aug. 1, the forums are moving to a new platform, Discourse. What? Change? You know I hate change, Tracy.  I know, I’m here to shepherd you through it. CN, we’re bursting our buttons. When I started this place in 2012, I was self-employed, living […]

Word Salad or Word Wisdom?

After parsing a lot of word salad through the Universal Bullshit Translator yesterday, I thought today’s Fun Friday challenge would be to share the succinct, commonsense advice someone gave you. Maybe it was encouragement (“You’re mighty!”), or an observation (“What an asshole.”), or a new way of looking at things (“Some money is too expensive.”) […]

UBT: ‘Dear Therapist’

Sometimes I wonder if I made up the Reconciliation Industrial Complex. How could advice be so manifestly stupid and devoid of commonsense? It’s a joke, right? Some kind of cruel performance art? Then in waltzes Lori Gottlieb aka ‘Dear Therapist’ of the Atlantic Monthly. While other bullshit artists are pickling sharks in formaldehyde or suspending […]

Why No Contact Works

What’s the secret sauce to getting a fuckwit out your life? No Contact. I thought today I’d do a refresher course on why no contact is so effective. First a caveat about what no contact is NOT. It’s not the 180. It’s not some passive-aggressive silent treatment to get your wingnut to behave. Fine! Harrumph! […]

Dear Chump Lady, She changed him

Dear Chump Lady, I want to first say that I am SERIOUSLY thankful for your blog. I found it a little too late, and pick-me danced too long, but once I found it, I suddenly found the courage to stay strong and give up on the ‘perfect family’ dream. When I found you, it was […]

Dear Chump Lady, I don’t want to make nice with my OW SIL

Dear Chump Lady, I am 10 years out from leaving my cheating ex-husband. I found out about his affair on July 4, 2009, and have referred to that day as my “Independence Day.” I had dated him through high school and college and we were married for 16 years when he decided his sales representative […]