Recent Posts

UBT: Monogamy Is a Gift

You know you’re wading in deep bullshit when you see the title “The Unsparing Genius of Esther Perel.” Oh please do spare us such genius. Sorry. “Leading Mindful Living Expert” and “Certified Yoga Therapist” Ira Israel broadcasts to The Good Men Project and Huffington Post that Esther Perel is nothing short of GENIUS. (Like picnics are a few […]

He’s ‘Saving’ the Other Woman

Hi Chump Lady, I have been married to my possible soon-to-be-ex for 25 years (M 53). I should have left in 2007 when he had an emotional / online affair with a woman he met on a dating site (claimed it was an old friend from high school). Our kids were 2 and 10. It […]

20/20 Signs They Were Cheating

Today’s Thursday Challenge is to Monday morning quarterback your life. Did you see signs of cheating before D-Day? To be a chump is to be unknowing. (And that’s as it should be — trusting your partner is natural.) Of course, cheaters are doing everything they can to conceal their nefarious double lives, and gaslighting you […]

UBT: ‘Loving Your Husband Hurts Me Too’

There is no sadder sausage than the Other Woman and her unrequited love. An alert chump sent me this submission, YourTango, “Loving Your Husband Hurts Me Too“, for the Universal Bullshit Translator. After all this time, I still hope he leaves you. I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. Except for his pesky wife. We sit across from […]

Is Limerence a Thing?

Dear Chump Lady, Just curious what your thoughts are about the concept of “limerence”, and especially as it applies to midlife crises. After discovering the concept last year and doing some reading it really resonates with me as to how my 20 year marriage that had seemed so stable and authentic was sabotaged so quickly […]

It Was a ‘One-Off’ — Let It Go?

Dear Chump Lady, Been married 21 years, and late last year my wife was on a vacation with my adult daughter, where she had a fling with a guy which included a sexual betrayal. Flirting by the pool, exchanging texts, eventually getting together for drinks, back to his room, and it turned sexual. My daughter […]

Chump Lady Audio Arrives

  Wonder what a Chump Lady sounds like? Wonder no more. I’m on audio. Here’s your first sampling above, classic post, 5 Things That Keep You Stuck with a Cheater. (And yes, sorry, I sound absolutely nothing like the professional voice actress that recorded my book.) I’ve been promising audio awhile for Patrons, and I’m […]