For today’s Friday challenge, I’m wondering about the long-suffering chumps out there and your hopium habits — what got you unstuck? I have some sympathy for the emotionally paralyzed. (I had four D-Days. I wear the chump crown.) I’ve written what keeps you stuck with a cheater. And I totally understand the limbo when you […]
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Dear Chump Lady, Do I have to be friendly with my ex?
Hi Chump Lady, My question is about whether I’m supposed to be friendly to my cheating ex-husband when around the children (14-year-old twin girls). We are divorced now, it’s been 2 years since D-Day and after a bit of spackling and pick me dancing (around 5 months) I decided enough was enough and I wanted […]
Situational Truth
Stephen Colbert coined the awesome word “truthiness” — when referring to politicians who spin their own versions of reality. They seem so sure of themselves, who cares if it’s not the truth? It’s truthy! Similarly, the food writer Michael Pollan in his book “In Defense of Food” distinguishes between actual food (things “your great-grandmother would […]
Dear Chump Lady, I don’t miss him at all. Is there something wrong with me?
Dear Chump Lady, I just walked away from a 17-year marriage. He admitted to his second one-night stand in our marriage. I’m not chumpy enough to think there wasn’t more. He thinks because “It was just one night. A whole year ago!” and “It’s been 10 years since he last slipped up” that he somehow […]
Dear Chump Lady, My therapist thinks I’m responsible for my husband’s cheating
Dear Chump Lady, I just finished reading your book. Your words about using caution when finding the right therapist were life changing for me. I found out after 24 years of marriage that my husband had been having an affair for over a year. In the many counseling sessions I have attended since D-Day, I […]
Rituals for New Lives?
Today’s Friday challenge comes from ChumpAsItIs. She writes: My story is the same as many others, more than 20 years of marriage, ex-husband stepped away, did not know whether he wanted to stay with me, said he loved me but needed some time to think, you know, the usual tale. He was able to make me unknowingly […]
Dear Chump Lady, He loves me, he’s worried about me… he left?
Dear Chump Lady, I don’t know why I feel so compelled to write a complete stranger at 3 a.m. about this. I pretty much know the answer to my problem, but am having trouble facing the demise of my marriage. My husband of 6 years (together 12) recently came clean out of the blue that […]
One Off Cheaters versus Serial Cheaters?
Dear Chump Lady, I was wondering about serial versus (presumably) one-off cheaters. I know they both suck. But it’s hard if your cheater only cheated (again, presumably… because they lie through their teeth to get one up on you) once. Versus the “bad guys” who cheated all the time. Do you know what I mean? Like, […]
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