Recent Posts

What It Looked Like, What It Was

Today we’re doing to take a deep dive into spackle. Chumps often put things in the best light — which can be a very nice quality. Take children’s art work, for example. While some may see a squashed vessel and guess “tumor” — you, the proud parent, see artistic potential, genius even. All the other […]

Science Vindicates ‘Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life’

So here’s some good news — a new study came out vindicating chumps everywhere. Psychologists asked over 5,000 women chumps about their relationship break-ups. Turns out the chumps fixed their pickers, learned from the experience, and had better future relationships. They also experienced more personal growth outside their relationships. And karma bonus — the Other Woman who “won” the cheater?  They turn […]

Dear Chump Lady, Did my being controlling make him gay?

Dear Chump Lady, I need some serious help. My story is unique in that my husband cheated on me with a man. 15 years ago, he left me because I was “impossible to live with” and went to live with a man from work. It should have been my first sign. He swore he was […]

The Ones Who Just Leave

A lot of the advice I give here is on no contact, or gauging the sincerity of a cheater’s remorse, or of decoding the mindfuckery of a cheater after discovery. But what about the ones who just go without a fight? Who just abandon? Who never come back? There’s no need to go no contact […]

Let’s blame the children?

An alert chump sent this article in Today’s Parent: “What happens after the affair—when you have kids?” Apparently, children are hindering Otherwise Good People from their journeys of epic self-discovery. What with their teething and their sticky fingers and inconvenient vulnerability, mommy and daddy can’t get any sleep, no I mean strange. What are you […]

Stupid Shit Affair Partners Say?

At Chump Nation, we’ve spent years lovingly curating “Stupid Shit Cheaters Say.” Classics like, “I wasn’t buying strippers, I was buying self-esteem…. You spend money on stuff you don’t need!” or “I wasn’t betraying you. I was betraying the thought that I might betray you.” So today’s (fun?) Friday Challenge is to share the stuff […]

UBT: ‘I hold no animosity for you’

Dear Chump Lady, I am a chump. I was married for two and a half years before I grew strong enough to leave. After multiple DDays and therapy, I finally got out. Last November, my then-husband became very sick while we were on vacation and I took him to the ER. He was in ICU […]

Dear Chump Lady, I don’t have any good memories of him

Dear Chump Lady, I am having a problem. I was chumped 5 years ago this month. I am in a good place now, remarried, etc. But my issue is — I have two teenagers and I cannot talk to them about their father. They know what happened and all that, but I cannot talk to […]