Recent Posts

Get the F*ck Out Now

Hi Chump Lady! As a diagnosed “Perfectionist”, I have been traumatized over and over by the Reconciliation Industrial Complex gospel so awfully prevalent in society. Such a relief to find your site… I feel like I’m remembering who I am when I read you. Thank you. I knew there was something “off”, decided I was […]

Best No Contact Strategies

Anyone wobbly on Trust That They Suck? Today’s fun Friday challenge is to tell CN your best no contact strategies. Oh, I know it’s simple to delete a phone number or unfriend someone on social media — I’m talking about the mental discipline that keeps your itchy trigger finger from hitting “send” on that 14-page, […]

Pain Shopping, Anyone?

A chump wrote to ask me what I thought about “pain shopping.” I had no idea what it was. So I asked her, “What’s pain shopping?” She wrote back, “Like when I ask my husband about his affair.” Oh. So I googled. Apparently, in unicorn circles, “pain shopping” is that chump habit of hyper-vigilance, you […]

Dear Chump Lady, He shoveled my snow, so he cares?

Dear Chump Lady, Situation:  I had a feeling that my husband of 8 years messed around with my best friend on New Year’s.  I was smart and didn’t confront him. Instead, I gathered info, texts, found a timeline of events that didn’t make sense, and last found “remnants” of her “juices” on the front of […]

“Do Cheaters All Work from the Same Script?”

Dear Chump Lady, After faithfully reading this blog and thinking about all that we have been through I still have questions. 1. How did all of these cheaters from all over the world basically learn the same script? I read everyone’s posts and I keep hearing the same dialogue that I had with my ex. […]

Dear Chump Lady, I’d divorce her, but she wants that

Dear Chump Lady: I’ve read your advice and I want to divorce her. But that’s what she wants and she is manipulating me into being the one to do it. We’ve been separated for 6 months with essentially No Contact and I’m fairly certain she is committed to Smoochy Poo. The RIC has convinced me […]

Got Jesus Cheaters?

Yesterday’s column, “Don’t Date This Person,” had a glaring omission — Jesus cheaters. Bible belt? This Friday challenge is for you. You get to tell CN about all the sanctimonious weird Jesus shit your adulterers got up to. Meeting in hotel rooms for Bible study? Sending you “thoughts and prayers”? Demanding forgiveness? Jesus cheaters are their own […]

Don’t Date This Person

Don’t you wish cheaters came with forehead stamps? Abandon Hope All Ye Who Date Me! Kibble Whore. Flaming Freak. But no. We’re left to our own faulty powers of discernment. After reading my umpteenth letter of Relationship Recitation with Waving Red Flags, I thought I should compile a list of People You Should Not Date. Feel […]