Recent Posts

Cake Speak?

Whenever I’m trying to categorize posts, invariably I file most under “cake eating” — the act of having both a chump and an affair partner (or 6) and all the entitlement therein. Which made me realize we have an entire sub-category of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say — Cake Talk! “After we divorce, we could always […]

Sparkles The Magnificent Dry Drunk Unicorn

Dear Chump Lady, I am currently in limbo while I get the finances in order and fully decide what I will do. He wants to reconcile but I am leaning toward breaking up because after what he’s done I don’t think I will ever trust and love him the way I want to be able […]

Do I Have to Be Friendly With My Ex?

Hi Chump Lady, My question is about whether I’m supposed to be friendly to my cheating ex-husband when around the children (14-year-old twin girls). We are divorced now, it’s been 2 years since D-Day and after a bit of spackling and pick me dancing (around 5 months) I decided enough was enough and I wanted […]

Is This Cheating?

I get a lot of letters that go something like this: Shady thing. Shady thing. Transgressive OH NO THEY DIDN’T thing. Shady thing. I’m mortified to tell you this, I’m sure you’ve never heard this (editor’s note: Yes I have), humiliating thing. (pause) Denial, denial, minimizing, gaslighting, denial, bible study, denial, just friends, missing/stained/new underwear, […]

I’m Forced To Live with My Cheater Right Now

Dear Chump Lady, It’s been five weeks since D-Day here. I’m a lesbian, we have been together 13 years, we have one small child that we created together, and four kids I already had from a previous marriage. She cheated on me the first time back in 2008, right after our wedding ceremony, when she […]

When This Crisis Is Over, I’m Gonna…

As I like to say around here a lot — “the pain is finite.” The problem with most pain is, however, that you don’t know its duration when you’re smack in the middle of it. It feels endless. Will normal ever be normal again? Yes, I’m awkwardly segueing to the coronavirus. How is everyone holding […]

When You Work With Your Ex

Dear Chump Lady I’m in the unfortunate position of having to continue to work in a business with my ex. I know this isn’t ideal, but we work on opposing days and most communication is via email and purely business related. I’m hoping that we can sell the business and finally go our separate ways […]

I Still Want Her Back

Dear Chump Lady, I am 44, she is 10 years younger. We’ve been together for over 11 years and are married less than 3. I have 3 kids from a previous marriage. She’s been part of their lives for many years, my daughter was just 2 when she entered her life and was like a […]