Recent Posts

The I-Know-What-I-Did-Was-Wrong-But-I-Did-It-Anyway Mindfuck

Dear Chump Lady, Yup I was a chump to a compulsive narcissistic womanizer cheater for a decade, raised his three daughters from his first marriage, (yes he cheated on wife #1 but it was her fault, she was crazy 🙄 lies lies lies). No I was NOT the other woman I DON’T do that, but […]

The First Chump Podcast!

Hey, I just wanted to let everyone know, it took AGES but I finally just recorded and posted the first Chump Lady podcast over on Patreon! It’s a half hour with yours truly and Mr. Chump Lady, discussing all the fun that is going to court. Mr CL is a trial lawyer, and the sort […]

Good Advice, Bad Advice?

Hey Amazon chumps! You know who you are — sort of person who responds to crisis with research. How many reconciliation books did you buy? Is “When Good People Cheat” still gathering dust on your shelf? This Friday Challenge is for you. Tell me what unicorn messages you got from the existing infidelity literature. Did you […]

Who’s Hoovering Who?

Dear Chump Lady I am no contact with my ex-boyfriend, and have been since August. He “wanted a break” in January, but I didn’t know that he already had his vastly inferior-to-me girlfriend already waiting in the wings. At this time, he would hoover me in once a month using some pretense (documents he could […]

UBT: “I’m in a Good Place Now”

Dear Chump Lady, So two years ago my husband of 25 years left me for his technician, immediately moved her in, got her pregnant and they are now living their happy life with a 17-month old, while I struggle. Anyway, we are still not divorced. It’s in process, but very expensive and we disagree on many key points. […]

What Do We See in Narcissists Anyway?

As much as I advise against untangling the skein of fuckupedness, we chumps (myself included) spend a lot of time decoding cheaters, narcissists, and the other assorted wing nuts in our lives. But really, the best policy once you’ve determined someone is toxic is to steer clear. File them under “Creep” and adjust your life […]

Dear Chump Lady, He left me to BLOG with the OW?

Dear Chump Lady, I have a question. I am a bit perplexed. My husband ran off with a married coworker. He’s a true runaway, abandoned the kids and I back in January. A friend sent me a link to a blog today (gotta love the internet). The link opened up to a blog started by […]

Radical Kindness

I was watching “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” last night, about the life of Fred Rogers (of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood television fame) and it struck me what a revolutionary Mr. Rogers was. Maybe it’s the divisive awful times we’re living in, but to see someone preach kindness and live kindness was positively radical. It’s easy […]