Recent Posts

The Mindfuckery of Reverse Victim Offender

There must be a bazillion “How To Tell If He/She’s Cheating” articles on the interwebs. You know, the usual — new cologne, sudden penchant for 9-hour Pilates classes, weird showering habits, furtive texting, requires cavity search to reveal cell phone… But here’s the real clue you’re dealing with a cheater, and it’s not lipstick on […]

He Cheated… Everyone Feels Sorry for Him

Dear Chump Lady, It has been 9 months since D-Day #2 and today would have been our 9th anniversary. A few days ago my STBXH made a public social media post about his mental health — admitting contemplating suicide, being in counseling and on meds — even (and this made me sick) making a vague […]

A Declaration of Independence for Chumps

Overthrowing tyrants? Boldly striking out to chart a new life? Chumps have Independence Day down. Today I’m rerunning this proclamation by CN member KibblesNBits. Please add your amendments and revolutionary fervor in the comments.  Have a happy holiday everyone and VIVA la independence!   Dear Chump Lady, In honor of what will be yet another difficult holiday […]

Am I Going to Get Over This?

Hello Chump Lady, My name is Kimmy. I just came across your “Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life“ book and I am absolutely in love with it. I’m only 22 years old, I’m not married of course, but I am going through the worse heartbreak I’ve ever been in my whole entire life. I ignored […]

How Do You Get Past the Revulsion?

Dear Chump Lady, Have you ever addressed how to get past the feeling of revulsion or “ick” when you finally see the cheater for who they really are? I was involved with a cheating freak for 8 years. Very covert guy — likeable surgeon that always knew how to navigate social graces with well-placed humor […]

Yeah, That’s Not an Apology

Today’s column is on Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse. You know, those weak-ass apologies that upon closer inspection don’t really convey “sorry” at all. If you’re a chump, you’ve probably put a lot of stock in weak-ass apologies. Maybe you even begged for a weak-ass apology, got one, and inferred great depths of humanity from it. Today I’m […]

UBT: Affair Sex in the Marital Bed Is Wrong?

Dear Chump Lady, I received this email from my ex after I confronted him about having sex with “La Pute” in our home. We were married for 35 years, and I had no idea that he was missing his moral compass. I am stumped. What does one say to this? SuzyQ From: Cheater Subject: Re: […]

Chump Protagonists in TV Dramas?

Tis the season for Netflix binging. I don’t know when this global pandemic will end, but me and my television are getting very well acquainted. One residual twitch from the chump experience is I can’t watch crap like the “Bridges of Madison County” or anything with a star-crossed Schmoopie fighting against the cruel, cruel forces […]