Recent Posts

Dear Chump Lady, Ethical non-monogamy was a bust

Dear Chump Lady, I was in a relationship for 15 years, married for the last five. I’m not wired to be jealous over sex — I like it when pretty people do things to each other. Sensing he wanted to wander, though, I’d negotiated three rules: he could do whatever as long as it was […]

The Walls in Your House Will Sing

My Aunt J’s birthday is next week and I thought it was time to rerun her story. She gave Chump Nation the powerful line: “The walls in your house will sing.”  She wrote this for the blog six years ago. Since then her husband has developed dementia and she takes care of him 24/7. Not […]

When You Perform the Pick Me Dance Wrong

I’ve concluded that Other Women enjoy the pick me dance — but only when the chump is clueless that she’s performing it. Sorry to go all gender-and-orientation-specific on you, but in six years of running this blog, I have never, ever seen an Other Man troll this site, write to me for sympathy, or gloat to […]

Connecting with Other Chumps?

One of the very best things about running this blog is that people occasionally send me their chump meet-up photos. Even better, they tell me how they gained that new life. Want to meet some mighty? Check this out from “indomitablechump”: Through the power of your website, I was able to connect with four other […]

“Does divorcing her make me the Bad Guy?”

Dear Chump Lady, I’m a chump guy here. Trying to make sense of how drastically my life and marriage has changed over the last several years. Its been a year and a half since I finally had enough evidence and confidence to confront my cheating wife. She had been having an affair for over 3 […]

Chump Nation Subject of ‘Curious’ Podcast!

Hey, want to know what I sound like? Chump Lady and Chump Nation were the subject today of Lynn Borton’s “Choose to Be Curious” podcast, which livestreams from Arlington Independent Media’s WERA. Lynn is a broadcaster extraordinaire and veritable one-woman NPR station. Check it out! You can listen here at the “Choose to Be Curious” […]

Dear Chump Lady, What if there was no sex?

Hi Chump Lady, What would you do if your husband did the following behaviors in an 11 year marriage (two early elementary kids)? He says this is all that ever happened. 1). Went to the strippers about 15 times since the year we had our kids). 2). Had 4 lap dances where strippers put breasts […]

Dear Chump Lady, Is this a unicorn?

Dear Chump Lady: I potentially have that mythical unicorn in my life. It shares its body with the original transformer that sadly still becomes my spouse on occasion. In the morning light with dew on the grass, the unicorn seems legit. Doing and saying the right things. Making good changes and taking responsibility for his […]