Recent Posts

Abuse Goes with Substance Abuse

The good people at reached out to me to ask if I would spread the public service announcement message that domestic abuse goes hand in hand with substance abuse. Many in Chump Nation are dealing with cheaters who are also addicts, and/or physically abusive. Also, many people respond to abuse (including our kids) by self-medicating […]

Best Sassy Chump Retorts?

Well chumps, I’ve devoted lot of blog pages to Stupid Shit Cheaters Say. And as we all know, they say some really stupid shit. You didn’t cheat, you just cheated on my belief that you would not cheat on me? WTF? The Other Woman is really nice and would like to babysit for us? She […]

Dear Chump Lady, I don’t stand a chance dating

Dear Chump Lady, I fear I will always be a chump. Text today to and from girlfriend about her co-worker: JAD: I’m sorry you have to hear people’s sad stories at work sometimes. GF: Usually I will vent to Pete or Amanda and I will feel better. JAD: Is Pete the one that calls me […]

5 Years of Chump Lady? 5 Lessons Learned

Hey, today the Chump Lady blog turns 5 years old! No longer a toddler blog, it has fully formed incisors and can bite the heads off unicorns. When I started this venture, I thought it would just be a brain dump for what I learned about infidelity (stupidly, blunderingly) so you wouldn’t make the same […]

Paltering — Another Kind of Mindfuckery

A guest post today by UXworld on those lovely little lies of omission… Enjoy! — Tracy A lie by any other name is still a lie (as Chump Lady so frequently reminds us), but a new variant of the dishonest bullshit we’ve all been subjected to has been given some new attention recently. According to […]

Dear Chump Lady, I’m afraid he’ll turn the kids against me

Dear Chump Lady, My covert good guy narc is killing me with his fake “I’m an awesome person and an awesome dad” act. Mine never raged, he controlled in small insidious ways. By the time the devalue was over and he left, I felt two inches tall. He is just so dang skilled at doing […]

Your Nominees for the Mighty Award

Inspired by Dianne Bentley, the badass who sent the governor of Alabama to his doom, today’s Friday challenge is tell Chump Nation about the champion chumps who inspire you. What unsung heroes should we know about? Do you have a great-grandmother who left a cheater and gained a life? A friend who walked this path […]

The Ones Who Just Leave

A lot of the advice I give here is on no contact, or assessing the sincerity of a cheater’s remorse, or of decoding the mindfuckery of a cheater after discovery. But what about the ones who just go without a fight? Who just abandon? Who never come back? There’s no need to go no contact because […]