Glossary of terms
| Amazon chump | the state of chumpdom where you read everything on Amazon about infidelity |
| bitch cookie | the reward you demand for doing something you should do anyway, i.e., “You didn’t clean out the ENTIRE 401K? Great. Want a bitch cookie?” |
| boundaries | what you will and will not put up with |
| cake | having the spouse and the affair |
| Cluster B | a series of personality disorders on the Borderline/Narcissist/Sociopath spectrum |
| D-Day | discovery day (the day you discovered the affair) |
| hopium | the hallucinogenic drug of hope that make you see potential and good outcomes where none exist |
| Meh | The state of acceptance when you don’t care about your cheater |
| narc or nark | a narcissist |
| narkles | narcissist sparkles |
| no contact | refusing to engage with the cheater |
| pick me dance | Vying for the attention of the cheater, triangulation between the chump, the cheater, and the affair partner |
| Reconciliation Industrial Complex | the vague conspiracy sense that religious and for-profit institutions want you to try to reconcile indefinitely |
| shit sandwich | The crappy situation you must choke down |
| skein | the skein of fuckupedness, their issues |
| spackle | covering up, the lies we tell ourselves when someone is behaving badly |
| sparkle | The charisma of a narcissist or Cluster B type |
| sparkly turd | A narcissist, someone who appears to sparkle, but has turd at the core |
| Tuesday | When the pain stops |
| Unicorn | an unlikely thing, usually referring to reconciliation |
| untangling the skein of fuckupedness | wasting time trying to figure them out |
Acronym list
| AP | affair partner |
| BP | Borderline Personality or bipolar |
| BS | betrayed spouse or bullshit |
| BTW | by the way |
| CL | Chump Lady |
| D-Day | discovery day (the day you discovered the affair) |
| DD | darling daughter |
| DS | darling son |
| FOO | family of origin |
| FWIW | for what it’s worth |
| ILYBINILWY | I love you but I’m not in love with you |
| IMHO | in my humble opinion |
| IMO | in my opinion |
| LTA | long-term affair |
| NPD | Narcissistic Personality Disorder |
| OM | other man |
| OTOH | on the other hand |
| OW | other woman |
| RIC | Reconciliation Industrial Complex |
| STBX | soon-to-be ex |
| WS | wayward spouse |
| YMBAC | you might be a chump… |
Thank you for this book, for this blog, and for having the inspired sensibility to voice and to create a place for the voices of others going through this soul stressing experience. There is nothing like this out there for us and somehow laughing makes it better. Please never never give up this blog.
It oughta be a law that Chumps have to be here for part of their recovery to be certified.
Better yet, it oughta be a law that people are directed her after the first, second and surely third red flag. Had that happened to me I could have dealt with this 20 years earlier. Just sayin’.
Your work belongs in the Library of Congress, the Hall of Mental Health Fame and the DSM.
Best Wishes for the Season.