Dear Chump Lady, Do you think chumps should tell their family and friends that the reason they are separated from their spouse is because he/she cheated? My marriage counselor (MC)’s advice was that the reason for the separation was not anyone else’s business and said that by telling the truth (i.e. their spouse cheated) the betrayed […]
I Don’t Feel Mighty. I Got Left.
Dear Chump Lady, Being the sleuthy sleuth I am, I discovered my husband of 15 years’ “emotional” affair (um yeah…her husband hired a private investigator that put that silly belief to rest) within days, since he suddenly went from sending about 300 texts a month to 7000 texts a month. All to my kids’ preschool […]
Did He Cheat Because He’s Depressed?
Dear Chump Lady, Please help me sort through this mess. Help me get angry! My husband and I were together for 6 years and married for 6 months when he fell into a deep depression and left me to stay with a friend in November. During this time (over an 11-week time span) he pushed […]
Controlling the Narrative
Dear Chump Lady, My now soon-to-be-ex husband of almost 30 years cheated on me twice — that I know of. The first one and the current one were/are full-blown long-term affairs. I’m heartbroken, but doing my best. I divorced him after the first affair, took him back, and gladly remarried him upon his request. I […]
Returning to Caretake a Cheater Late in Life?
Dear Chump Lady, Yesterday I was speaking with a friend of mine who is now 82 and she mentioned she had moved to the nearby senior citizen home to take care of the person who had abandoned her for another woman. The abandonment took place over 30 years earlier. I wouldn’t be wondering about it, […]
‘I Can’t Talk to My Kids About Their Father’
Dear Chump Lady, I am having a problem. I was chumped 5 years ago this month. I am in a good place now, remarried, etc. But my issue is — I have two teenagers and I cannot talk to them about their father. They know what happened and all that, but I cannot talk to […]
‘How Could He Walk Away from His Wife and Kids?’
Dear Chump Lady, We married 6 years ago and had 2 kids. I found out about his STBX’s porn addiction shortly after we were married and his swinging in previous relationship. I ask him if he was monogamous many times. He said he was. He was tired of that lifestyle. It did not make him […]
Cheater Throws Them Out, OW Moves In
Dear Chump Lady, It’s been a little over three months (March) since my husband of 7 years informed me that I needed to leave our home with our 6-year-old and (at the time) 1-month-old after I discovered he had been having an affair. He had already told me he planned to divorce me the day […]
UBT: A Letter from the “Baby”
Dear Chump Lady, I have one that I would LOVE to go through the Universal Bullshit Translator. As a chump I so want to believe he is truly sorry for what he has done, but his actions have not shown that, at least to me. While I still wait for Tuesday and that dreamed of place called Meh, this […]
What Do I Do with the Phantom Pain of Abandonment?
Dear Chump Lady, First, thank you. Your truth is like a laser ripping through the threads of the tangled skein I’ve struggled with for three years. I’m two years out from divorce after a torturous separation. I’m guilty of reality-bending, crippling doubt, doing the pick-me dance for ages — leading to self-loathing that took years […]
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