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Controlling the Narrative

November 23, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, My now soon-to-be-ex husband of almost 30 years cheated on me twice — that I know of. The first one and the current one were/are full-blown long-term affairs. I’m heartbroken, but doing my best. I divorced him after the first affair, took him back, and gladly remarried him upon his request. I […]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Telling people, Trust that they suck Tagged With: Controlling the narrative

Returning to Caretake a Cheater Late in Life?

October 13, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, Yesterday I was speaking with a friend of mine who is now 82 and she mentioned she had moved to the nearby senior citizen home to take care of the person who had abandoned her for another woman. The abandonment took place over 30 years earlier. I wouldn’t be wondering about it, […]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Gain a life, No contact, What Not to Do Tagged With: Caretaking, Taking back a cheater

‘I Can’t Talk to My Kids About Their Father’

September 15, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I am having a problem. I was chumped 5 years ago this month. I am in a good place now, remarried, etc. But my issue is — I have two teenagers and I cannot talk to them about their father. They know what happened and all that, but I cannot talk to […]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Children and infidelity, co-parenting with a fuckwit, Divorce Tagged With: Abandonment, co-parenting with a fuckwit

‘How Could He Walk Away from His Wife and Kids?’

September 3, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, We married 6 years ago and had 2 kids. I found out about his STBX’s porn addiction shortly after we were married and his swinging in previous relationship. I ask him if he was monogamous many times. He said he was. He was tired of that lifestyle. It did not make him […]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Sociopathy Tagged With: Abandonment

Cheater Throws Them Out, OW Moves In

June 25, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, It’s been a little over three months (March) since my husband of 7 years informed me that I needed to leave our home with our 6-year-old and (at the time) 1-month-old after I discovered he had been having an affair. He had already told me he planned to divorce me the day […]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Sociopathy Tagged With: Abandonment

UBT: A Letter from the “Baby”

April 14, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I have one that I would LOVE to go through the Universal Bullshit Translator. As a chump I so want to believe he is truly sorry for what he has done, but his actions have not shown that, at least to me. While I still wait for Tuesday and that dreamed of place called Meh, this […]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Children and infidelity, Pick me dance Tagged With: Pick Me Dance

What Do I Do with the Phantom Pain of Abandonment?

March 18, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, First, thank you. Your truth is like a laser ripping through the threads of the tangled skein I’ve struggled with for three years. I’m two years out from divorce after a torturous separation. I’m guilty of reality-bending, crippling doubt, doing the pick-me dance for ages — leading to self-loathing that took years […]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Trust That They Suck, Untangling the Skein

He Left 3 Kids. How Can He Be Happy?

December 4, 2019 by Chump Lady

Hello Chump Lady, 10 weeks ago I found out that my husband of 9 years (together 14, 3 kids aged 6,4 and 1) has been having an affair for over a year. The affair partner (now girlfriend?! Vomit) is a mutual friend who knows me and my kids. It started when I was 6 months […]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Cake Eating Tagged With: Abandonment, Leaving kids

Dear Chump Lady, When does the pain go away?

October 23, 2019 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, My question for you and perhaps more so, Chump Nation, is when, how long does it take before the pain goes away? How many days, months, years does it take until you wake up and go a day, few days, weeks without thinking about him? What are the experiences of your readers? […]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Early days after discovery, Gain a life, No contact, Trust that they suck Tagged With: No Contact, Pain, Tuesday

Dear Chump Lady, I apologized to him for cheating on me

October 1, 2019 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, Like all other Chumps, I never thought I would be here. I met the love of my life when I was 18 and he was 22 in the most magical, serendipitous way possible. (Or is that the story I tell myself?) Anyway, we were both in college, and 6 months later I […]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Emotional affair, Limbo Tagged With: Abandonment, divorce, Pick Me Dance

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