A lot of the advice I give here is on no contact, or gauging the sincerity of a cheater’s remorse, or of decoding the mindfuckery of a cheater after discovery. But what about the ones who just go without a fight? Who just abandon? Who never come back? There’s no need to go no contact […]
Dear Chump Lady, I don’t have any good memories of him
Dear Chump Lady, I am having a problem. I was chumped 5 years ago this month. I am in a good place now, remarried, etc. But my issue is — I have two teenagers and I cannot talk to them about their father. They know what happened and all that, but I cannot talk to […]
Emotional Affairs, Exit Affairs, and Ghosts
Dear Chump Lady, Can I still be in the CN club? Do I still get to hate my husband as much as everyone else here gets to hate their crappy spouses even though he was “a moral cheater”? Mine didn’t want even want cake….ghosts don’t eat cake. We were married for 5 years, with two […]
“What do I tell my crying children?”
Dear Chump Lady I have been reading your site for weeks now after discovering (after several years of suspicion) that I am an enormous chump and finally plucked up the courage to ask for help. I don’t know what to say to my two children when they are crying because they feel that their family […]
Dear Chump Lady, I’m suddenly a single mom
Dear Chump Lady, I’m a mom of two young kids. (My son will be 3 in August and my daughter turned 1 two weeks ago). Six months ago my husband of four years (together nine years total) told me he wanted “out.” He said he tried marriage, but it wasn’t working out for him. He […]
Gwyneth Paltrow Can Bite Me
I’m sorry. I hate “conscious uncoupling.” On the one hand, I’m thrilled this bit of word salad is getting the snark and derision it so rightly deserves, on the other hand the notion that divorce should be free of baser emotions like grief and anger is still a solid part of our culture. In fact, […]
You Picked a Fine Time To Leave Me, Lucille
Anyone remember that Kenny Rogers’ song? “You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille With four hungry children and a crop in the field I’ve had some bad times, lived through some sad times But this time your hurting won’t heal You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille” I was reminded of […]
Dear Chump Lady, Can’t quite shake the rejection…
Dear Chump Lady, Long-timer lurker, first-time writer. Post-abandonment three main issues keep reverberating around my head: 1. My ex’s (geographically distant) family didn’t say goodbye. He told them that “‘We decided’ to end our marriage.” (Um, no. He tossed me aside like a bag of garbage two days after I learned that he had had […]
Dear Chump Lady, Why meh? Why not screaming?
Dear Chump Lady, My D-day came about reading an email between my husband and his bimbo. When I previously discovered something going on, he swore it was a one-time thing and we were going to therapy to work on the marriage. I blamed myself — dove into gross issues with my father — and then […]
Dear Chump Lady, Will anyone ever love me with stretchmarks?
Dear Chump Lady, I am two weeks post partum. I was left by my husband when I was 6 months pregnant. He had been cheating for who knows how long but, before, during, and after my extremely high risk pregnancy. My pregnancy risk was so rare that I was sent to another state for procedures […]
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