Dear Chump Lady, I have unresolved in-law issues it seems, and can’t make sense of how I react to them more than my ex-husband and OWife. So I took my son to meet ex-inlaws. I was visiting their city so I thought why not take the kid to meet them. I dropped him informally at […]
Pick Me Dancing for Love
Dearest Chumplady, Can you tackle this self-help notion I’ve been pondering for a while. Does anyone else feel like a lot of self-help books and well-intentioned advice still feels like pick-me dancing? Let me explain. I left a cheater 8 years ago, and rebuilt myself and my life. Moved 3,000 miles with my cats and […]
Dear Chump Lady, I apologized to him for cheating on me
Dear Chump Lady, Like all other Chumps, I never thought I would be here. I met the love of my life when I was 18 and he was 22 in the most magical, serendipitous way possible. (Or is that the story I tell myself?) Anyway, we were both in college, and 6 months later I […]
Dear Chump Lady, My husband wants to date
Dear Chump Lady, Am I being unreasonable for having a problem with my husband’s ongoing relationship with a woman he tried unsuccessfully to seduce? One night about a year ago, we both got home from our respective jobs and my husband burst into tears. I’m talking, deep, rasping sobs. With his head on my lap […]
The Plan B Offer
If things don’t work out with her, perhaps you and I could work things out. This was submitted to my “Universal Bullshit Translator” inbox. It’s so cake-y and so common. Yeah, right, I want to be Plan B! Thanks for being so bold and out there with it, Cheaterpants. How many in CN have gotten this […]
The Futility of Confronting Affair Partners
Here’s a rookie chump mistake — confronting affair partners. Maybe you did this. Maybe you agonized about doing this. Maybe you’re still waiting to come up with the perfect withering remark to deliver along with your poisoned umbrella tip. Let me spare you the trouble — don’t go there. But! But! I know you want […]
David Brooks Can Bite Me
I’m sure you’re all thrilled to crumbs to learn that New York Times columnist David Brooks — deli meat snob, scourge of single mothers, and misunderstood love moppet — has a new book out. “The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life.” From the guy who left his wife for his muse much younger research […]
The Pick Me Dance for Fun and Profit
After the last couple batshit crazy OW texts I’ve put through the Universal Bullshit Translator, I was thinking to myself — why? Why do Other Women (and to my knowledge, it’s just women) indulge in these whackadoodle taunts? Moreover, why do they write those insipid columns on HuffPo or YourTango mooning on about their affairs? It’s one […]
The Case of the Dangling Former Spouse
Dear Chump Lady, I am nearly at meh, three years from D-Day and two from my divorce from a world class Cluster B, alcoholic, successful asshole who shared “sex addiction camp” with the stars… I got some news today that rekindled a WOW moment provided by your amazing insights in my early days of chumpdom. […]
Dear Chump Lady, Do cheaters blameshift?
Dear Chump Lady, I was wondering if this is a common saying that chumps hear on D-day. Upon discovering my husband’ s texts to another person, he quickly said, “I’m done!” I answered with, “You’re done? I’m the one that’s done!” Here’s the kicker — he then says, “You’re doing exactly what she wants you […]
