ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life!

Dear Chump Lady, I drunk dialed

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Dear Chump Lady, I was in a six-year relationship with a compulsive liar, so I have really appreciated your articles. We broke up last year. He proposed on my birthday. Unproposed two weeks later saying his parents did not approve. He got married last month. That’s that. I was wondering whether you could give me […]

How Do I Fix My Picker?

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Dear Chump Lady, Do you have any advice on how to fix a broken picker? I’m nowhere near ready to date yet. Not even close. But in all that I read, the message is very clear: chumps should go out, find a life, enjoy and grow ourselves. And this clearly will take some time. I’m okay […]

How did you spackle over the incompatibility?

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After infidelity, I’m rather skeptical of the old adage “opposites attract.” I’d advise just the opposite really — find someone in your own values tribe. No two people share everything, of course. My husband’s love of Texas, for example. Tornadoes? Okay. Scorpions? Sure! Ten-year droughts? Bring it! Rat snakes? No worries. Jalapeños? Loves it. Oppressive heat? DEAL […]

Dear Chump Lady, My ex-wife has some weird requests

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Dear Chump Lady, It has been 4 years since we divorced. I found out she was on a dating site. She confessed she was dating a number of men. I moved out and have been focused on my kids and life. I did not date, but decided recently to start dating as I have a […]

Fix Your Picker Tips

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Hey, it’s Friday and maybe you have a date this weekend. Or a bad rash just thinking about dating. Or maybe there’s still a cheater snoring on your sofa. What you need are BOUNDARIES! Today’s Friday challenge is How to Fix Your Picker. If you’re a recovering chump like me, you need this skillset. And […]

Mr./Ms. Sparkles Is Ready to Date You!

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Today’s Fun Friday challenge is to write dating profiles for your exes. Heck, you might have a head start on this if you stumbled across their actual profiles already. (I did, while married to him). How was it? Well, in addition to his self-reported litany of qualities that he does not possess (honesty, faithfulness, romance), he […]

When They Look Good on Paper

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Today is part two of How Not to Get Chumped Again. Yesterday we discussed reciprocity, today we’re going to examine compatibility. I have to give my husband credit for this nugget o’ insight. He noticed the expression coming up again and again “Well, he looked good on paper…” People fall into this trap all the […]

Un-Chumping Post-Infidelity, A Primer

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Since starting this blog, I’ve been asked several times in various different ways how I transformed into a happily married person after infidelity. Hey, you were such an epic chump — how did you ever trust anyone again? Did you fix your picker? Are you just stupid lucky? Where did you meet your husband? How […]

Dear Chump Lady, I don’t feel mighty. I got left.

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Dear Chump Lady, Being the sleuthy sleuth I am, I discovered my husband of 15 years’ “emotional” affair (um yeah…her husband hired a private investigator that put that silly belief to rest) within days, since he suddenly went from sending about 300 texts a month to 7000 texts a month. All to my kids’ preschool […]