After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater is sorry or not sorry, the infidelity is a deal breaker. If you choose reconciliation, however, the matter of How Sorry Are They comes to the forefront of the decision. […]
The Perils of Flunking No Contact
There’s nothing sadder than watching a chump pick up the hopium habit again. I can sit here on the sidelines and frantically wave my arms and shout “NO! DON’T DO IT!” But if you’re determined to chase unicorns, there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. I promise you, 99.9 percent of the […]
Dear Chump Lady, Better the Cheater I know, right?
Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been binging on Reconciliation Industrial Complex material for the last 3+ months, partially coming to my senses about my reality. My wife has still not ended it with the affair partner after 3 months. She still claims she wants this marriage and misses me so much but keeps “screwing it up”. […]
Your Days on the Marriage Police Force?
I was once approached online by a nice man Trevor, who sent a complimentary email introducing himself and his website, thinking we had much in common. He wanted to inform me and my readers of his services. His website was a commercial sales site for catching cheaters and other miscreants — including lazy employees and […]
Dear Chump Lady, Why can’t I pull the trigger on the divorce?
Dear Chump Lady, Please get my head out of the sand. The love of my life (met at 25, married at 30, about to be divorced at 36) started straying when I was 6 months pregnant with our baby daughter (now almost 2-year-old toddler). Dday #1 was at 3 months post-labor, and Dday #2 was […]
Dear Chump Lady, My husband wants to date
Dear Chump Lady, Am I being unreasonable for having a problem with my husband’s ongoing relationship with a woman he tried unsuccessfully to seduce? One night about a year ago, we both got home from our respective jobs and my husband burst into tears. I’m talking, deep, rasping sobs. With his head on my lap […]
Dear Chump Lady, What if I leave and he really loves me?
Dear Chump Lady, I am unofficially in purgatory. I have been 22 months in wreckonciliation with my cheating husband who cheated with an ex coworker for three-plus years. We have been married for 25 years and have two awesome sons. D-Day was via cellphone accidental discovery. He was angry at me that I had found […]
What Got You Unstuck?
For today’s Friday challenge, I’m wondering about the long-suffering chumps out there and your hopium habits — what got you unstuck? I have some sympathy for the emotionally paralyzed. (I had four D-Days. I wear the chump crown.) I’ve written what keeps you stuck with a cheater. And I totally understand the limbo when you […]
Dear Chump Lady, He won’t stop texting the OW in front of me
Dear Chump Lady, I am a relatively new chump. My soon-to-be-ex had what he claims was an “emotional affair” in 2011. I haven’t ever really fully trusted him since then because he has not been transparent about so many things. I have thought about divorce often over the past 6 years, but have been waiting […]
Dear Chump Lady, I don’t think my cheater is like the other cheaters…
Hi Chump Lady, I am having a terrible time trying to make my cheater fit into the disordered, mindfuck, etc. category everyone talks about here. I’ve been married for 28 years and have four children, one still at home. My husband who was in the military for 25 of those years, retiring as a colonel, […]
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