Dear Chump Lady, I told my husband I want a divorce today and stupidly gave him some criteria about what I’d need him to do to win him back — and he started trying to do them, but already fucked up. I said I needed to meet one of his OW “friends” and we needed […]
Dear Chump Lady, I want out, but I can’t afford it
Dear Chump Lady, I have been working at this marriage for 34 years to someone with a supposed sexual addiction. This included exhibitionism, one-night stands, hookers, phone sex, and that’s only what I know. What I know trickled out over the years and he had great, believable explanations. And great skill to minimize and to […]
“Does divorcing her make me the Bad Guy?”
Dear Chump Lady, I’m a chump guy here. Trying to make sense of how drastically my life and marriage has changed over the last several years. Its been a year and a half since I finally had enough evidence and confidence to confront my cheating wife. She had been having an affair for over 3 […]
Dear Chump Lady, What if there was no sex?
Hi Chump Lady, What would you do if your husband did the following behaviors in an 11 year marriage (two early elementary kids)? He says this is all that ever happened. 1). Went to the strippers about 15 times since the year we had our kids). 2). Had 4 lap dances where strippers put breasts […]
Dear Chump Lady, Is this a unicorn?
Dear Chump Lady: I potentially have that mythical unicorn in my life. It shares its body with the original transformer that sadly still becomes my spouse on occasion. In the morning light with dew on the grass, the unicorn seems legit. Doing and saying the right things. Making good changes and taking responsibility for his […]
Dear Chump Lady, He wants me back
Hi Chump Lady, Thanks in large part to a daily diet of your advice, things have gotten pretty good for me recently. I’m almost at my 2 year No Contact anniversary, during which time I recovered my sanity, made new friends and reconnected with old, started doing well at my job, bought a house, and […]
“What do I tell my crying children?”
Dear Chump Lady I have been reading your site for weeks now after discovering (after several years of suspicion) that I am an enormous chump and finally plucked up the courage to ask for help. I don’t know what to say to my two children when they are crying because they feel that their family […]
Living with Uncertainty After Infidelity
I remember once upon a time when my life was going to Hell, a friend wrote me a cheer up email and ended it with a quote from Bob Dylan — “I embrace the chaos.” I laughed. When you’re in a free fall, you’re going to go splat on the pavement whether you “embrace” it […]
Are Cheaters Timid Forest Creatures?
After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater is sorry or not sorry, the infidelity is a deal breaker. If you choose reconciliation, however, the matter of How Sorry Are They comes to the forefront of the decision. […]
The Perils of Flunking No Contact
There’s nothing sadder than watching a chump pick up the hopium habit again. I can sit here on the sidelines and frantically wave my arms and shout “NO! DON’T DO IT!” But if you’re determined to chase unicorns, there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. I promise you, 99.9 percent of the […]
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