ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life

Is Being Alone Worse Than Being with a Cheater?

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Dear Chump Lady, Is being alone worse than being with a cheater, if by alone you mean something like “alone for at least the next 20 years”? Part of me thinks that despite my (wayward) partner’s flaws, the alternative is not to be with anyone at all. Not all of us are blessed enough to […]

What Got You Unstuck?

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For today’s Friday challenge, I’m wondering about the long-suffering chumps out there and your hopium habits — what got you unstuck? I have some sympathy for the emotionally paralyzed, especially the limbo when you have Naugahyde remorse and think you’re really in reconciliation. You ride that unicorn carousel for awhile. I get it. I realize that […]

‘I Work with the Other Woman’

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Dear Chump Lady, How do I deal with the following situation? I work at the same organisation as my husband though in a different team. His other woman is in my team. She is full-time in the office, I am in the office for one day every two weeks for meetings (home based worker). In […]

When You Want to Leave, But Just Had a Baby

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Dear Chump Lady, I have been married for almost 3 years and we have a one-year old. I discovered he was cheating with random strangers when we were engaged, and, in true Chump style, I paid for us to have expensive couples’ counselling. I chose to believe the arrogant psychologist who told me that he […]

‘Should I Divorce Him?’

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Dear Chump Lady, My husband of 15 years had been having an affair for over three years. Should I divorce him? I feel like our marriage is over, but I haven’t left him yet. I threw my wedding ring into a canyon in Utah, but I’m still living with him and clinging to the idea that […]

Dear Chump Lady, I apologized to him for cheating on me

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Dear Chump Lady, Like all other Chumps, I never thought I would be here. I met the love of my life when I was 18 and he was 22 in the most magical, serendipitous way possible. (Or is that the story I tell myself?) Anyway, we were both in college, and 6 months later I […]

Dear Chump Lady, My therapist says don’t tell anyone he cheated

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Dear Chump Lady, Do you think chumps should tell their family and friends that the reason they are separated from their spouse is because he/she cheated? My marriage counselor (MC)’s advice was that the reason for the separation was not anyone else’s business and said that by telling the truth (i.e. their spouse cheated) the betrayed […]

Dear Chump Lady, My husband wants to date

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Dear Chump Lady, Am I being unreasonable for having a problem with my husband’s ongoing relationship with a woman he tried unsuccessfully to seduce? One night about a year ago, we both got home from our respective jobs and my husband burst into tears. I’m talking, deep, rasping sobs. With his head on my lap […]

Dear Chump Lady, When does the pain stop?

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Dear Chump Lady, Tonight is a hard night for some reason. It has been 11 months since D-Day. And since then stories of other affairs and how long I have been a chump has been trickling in. I finally said I can’t take anymore information and stopped all the asking of how many and how […]