ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life

In-House Separation, She Won’t Move Out

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Dear Chump Lady, Last September my wife of 17 years and 3 kids, informed me she had had an affair with the headmaster of our youngest daughter’s school. I had recognised my wife had been unhappy for some time and was asking her why, I had suggested that if it was me making her unhappy […]

‘I Have a Hate in My Heart Where Love Used to Be’

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Dear Chump Lady, My husband had an affair during our 19th year of marriage with a person in his graduate class. She sent me a text message that she was in love with him and he with her. Of course he lied lied lied, but I wore him down until he told the horrid details. […]

Marine Chump: This Is Worse Than Being in Iraq

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Dear Chump Lady, Here’s my story and I’ll try to keep it short. I married my high school sweetheart and we’ve been married for almost 20 years. We have three kids 20, 18 and 6. Shortly after we were married and had our first kid, I joined the Marine Corps. Life was pretty good; we went […]

‘I Turned the Tables’

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Dear Chump Lady, Married 31 years, chumped the last 2 (that I know of), 2 kids early 20s. I did it all, untangling the skein of fuckedupness, rode the unicorn for a while, smoked a lot of hopium, dined at the buffet of grief, anger, etc. and went back for seconds and thirds. Moved out […]

How Do I Find the Courage to Leave?

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Dear Chump Lady, I married my husband in June of 2015 after being together for 6 years. He is the only man I have ever been in a serious relationship with. In December of 2015, my mother died unexpectedly. I was a complete wreck for at least a year. He was my ROCK. In June […]

Is Being Alone Worse Than Being with a Cheater?

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Dear Chump Lady, Is being alone worse than being with a cheater, if by alone you mean something like “alone for at least the next 20 years”? Part of me thinks that despite my (wayward) partner’s flaws, the alternative is not to be with anyone at all. Not all of us are blessed enough to […]

What Got You Unstuck?

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For today’s Friday challenge, I’m wondering about the long-suffering chumps out there and your hopium habits — what got you unstuck? I have some sympathy for the emotionally paralyzed, especially the limbo when you have Naugahyde remorse and think you’re really in reconciliation. You ride that unicorn carousel for awhile. I get it. I realize that […]

‘I Work with the Other Woman’

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Dear Chump Lady, How do I deal with the following situation? I work at the same organisation as my husband though in a different team. His other woman is in my team. She is full-time in the office, I am in the office for one day every two weeks for meetings (home based worker). In […]

When You Want to Leave, But Just Had a Baby

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Dear Chump Lady, I have been married for almost 3 years and we have a one-year old. I discovered he was cheating with random strangers when we were engaged, and, in true Chump style, I paid for us to have expensive couples’ counselling. I chose to believe the arrogant psychologist who told me that he […]