ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life!

Years Later and No ‘Meh’

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Dear Chump Lady, I was married 20 years. It was around year 18 that my ex started the implosion, blaming me for his unhappiness for my views on “life”, that I was “asexual” (not true), and had to be taken care of, which he no longer wanted to do (some truth there – childhood baggage […]

The ‘Only One Who Really Cares’?

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Dear Chump Lady, I was married for 29 1/2 years to an amazing, dedicated, sweet husband. In 2009 we lost our teenage daughter after only a one month diagnosis of leukemia. I did not realize my husband was in depression until our oldest daughter got married. He started to have moments of disconnect. By 2016 […]

Seconding Guessing Yourself About Leaving

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Dear Chump Lady, My husband has cheated on me with two different women over the course of the last year and a half. I found out about one, moved to my mom’s and then came back to the family home to find out he was cheating with another one about 3 months later. I have […]

He Says He ‘Never Went Looking for It’

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Dear Chump Lady, I can’t believe I am writing this but I really need some help. 5 weeks ago I discovered my husband was having an emotional affair with a colleague. No sex. But intimate kissing and real emotional connection. They have both said they love each other. She tried to break it off and […]

‘Why Do Reconciliation Bloggers Annoy Me?’

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Dearest Chump Lady, Why does the Reconciliation Industrial Complex annoy me so much? I don’t want to name any names, but while looking for support groups, I come across a Twitter of an infidelity survivor who has done podcasts, books, you name it. After some research I find out it’s only been two years. The […]

What Is the First Step?

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Dear Chump Lady, What would you do? My husband is very friendly with this woman at work. He talks about her which is why I looked in his phone and saw a series of texts of her needing “to vent” he’s all supportive and understanding… which triggers me. Then a little later he’s telling me […]

He sees prostitutes. She’s ‘stuck in a fog’.

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Dear Chump Lady I’ve been in an over 40-year marriage in which I’ve invested a lot of emotional equity. My husband was unfaithful from the very start of when I meet him. I knew and should have run then but…..in my fairy tale mind, I thought I could change him. I thought my pure and […]

In-House Separation, She Won’t Move Out

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Dear Chump Lady, Last September my wife of 17 years and 3 kids, informed me she had had an affair with the headmaster of our youngest daughter’s school. I had recognised my wife had been unhappy for some time and was asking her why, I had suggested that if it was me making her unhappy […]

‘I Have a Hate in My Heart Where Love Used to Be’

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Dear Chump Lady, My husband had an affair during our 19th year of marriage with a person in his graduate class. She sent me a text message that she was in love with him and he with her. Of course he lied lied lied, but I wore him down until he told the horrid details. […]