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Don’t Send It, Three Reasons Why

February 15, 2021 by Chump Lady

maintain your dignity

Psssst! I have a little secret to lay on you…. People are not interested in your messy divorce. Okay, maybe your parents and closest friend. Certainly it sucks for your children. But the rest of humanity? I’m sorry. They do not care for the particulars. I know how unjust this is, especially if you’ve been cheated […]

Filed Under: Divorce, Revenge, Telling people Tagged With: Disclosure, Oversharing, Trust That They Suck

Can I Tell His Family He Cheated?

February 3, 2021 by Chump Lady

cheater manifesto

Dear Chump Lady, My STBX informed me two weeks before Quarantine Thanksgiving that we had to talk. I shut the lid of my laptop and asked, “What do you want to talk about? Do you want to watch something together?” (I was deep into an episode of something that he hated.) He said, “I want […]

Filed Under: Divorce, No contact, Revenge, Telling people Tagged With: divorce, Grey Rock

Is Reporting Him Revenge?

August 3, 2020 by Chump Lady

cheater manifesto

Dear Chump Lady, My ex cheated on me with a very good friend for almost 2 years. We were actually couple friends as well. She filed for divorce last summer after a year of their affair and her divorce was final the end of Feb 2020. I found out about the affair 1 week after […]

Filed Under: Revenge, Telling people Tagged With: Pick Me Dance, Revenge

‘I Trolled the Other Woman’

June 22, 2020 by Chump Lady

Hello Chump Lady, I screwed up. I fed the beast. I know you say “If it feels good, don’t do it,” but I confronted my husband and the troll neighbor. Anyway, her kitchen window looks right into mine, so I taped a picture of a troll on to my window. I’m am just so creeped […]

Filed Under: No contact, Pick me dance, Revenge, What Not to Do Tagged With: No Contact, Other Woman, Revenge

‘I Want to Blast Them on Facebook’

May 26, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I just found out after 5 or 6 years of absolute insane digging (mental breakdowns, trips to rehabs, gaslighting to the extreme, abuse that would cause anyone to want to kill themselves) that my dear darling husband’s side piece is no other than my fucking NEIGHBOR!!!!! I was on here about a […]

Filed Under: Early days after discovery, How to leave a cheater, Revenge, Telling people Tagged With: Facebook, How to leave a cheater, Other Woman, Outing cheaters

Did You Out Them on Social Media?

March 4, 2020 by Chump Lady

I saw a discussion the other day on whether or not to out your ex on social media. The comments were in favor, reasoning, “If it’s not too bad to do it, it’s not too bad to talk about it.” Hmmm. I have questions. Is this confiding in those around you and answering honestly when asked? […]

Filed Under: Meh, Revenge Tagged With: Outing cheaters

Dear Chump Lady, How can I hurt him to the core?

October 8, 2019 by Chump Lady

Hi Chump Lady, Do you have any tips on how I can hurt him to the core? We were together 10 years. No kids. He cheated. I left straight away. We didn’t even talk about the details of the affair. I mostly felt anger and disgust. I moved to a different city. Cut off all […]

Filed Under: Gain a life, Meh, Revenge Tagged With: Hopium, No Contact, Revenge

Dump ‘Scorned’ Already

September 26, 2019 by Chump Lady

scorned

Here’s a word I’d like to see disappear from the infidelity conversation — scorned. (Almost always referring to a woman.) “Scorned Detroit Woman Lists Cheating Ex’s Batmobile on Craigslist.” Really Fox news affiliate? Really? SHE OWNED THE CAR. “Since the car was in my name, I decided to repossess it from him,” she says, smiling. She posted […]

Filed Under: euphemisms, Revenge Tagged With: Scorned

Imagine Justice

March 8, 2019 by Chump Lady

Chump Lady is feeling a little stabby lately. This is what comes from following the news cycle. I won’t get into it. I try to keep things nonpartisan here, which when you’re a stabby person, isn’t the easiest thing. Trust me, there’s a lot of imagined lapel-grabbing and shrieking. And then a beta blocker and […]

Filed Under: Anger, Fun and games, Revenge Tagged With: Justice, Revenge

Dear Chump Lady, Where do I go with this anger?

December 20, 2018 by Chump Lady

bitter

Dear Chump Lady, After a year of being told lies about an affair I finally found the truth on the laptop. So he’s 50 and she’s a 24 year old work colleague who still lives at home. We have been together 11 years and have a little boy. He told me he is with this […]

Filed Under: Anger, Ask Chump Lady, Cake Eating, Revenge Tagged With: Anger, Co-habiting, Revenge

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