Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been married to a man for 20 years. From day one, he has done some questionable things. Maintained a dating profile (from what I can tell, it never went further than initial response, aka “I hooked you” ego kibble.) After I found these repeatedly, he seemed to stop with that. However, […]
He Cheated on Her Daughter. She Spackled.
Dear Chump Lady, I thought I was going crazy until I read your site about how cheaters think and how much they will lie and manipulate to maintain cake. I have an interesting twist on the cheating story that shows you how much of a chump I am! I am the mom of a daughter […]
‘I’m Afraid of Him’
Hi Chump Lady, I look for all the world like I have achieved meh, but behind the scenes I am a struggling wreck. I have become so terrified of my ex that I am convinced he will harm me. And here’s the twist — I’m pretty certain I am just being dramatic! He sends me […]
New Words for the Chump Condition?
Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been thinking about the being mighty part of moving on lately, and I think I have a new term for the Chump dictionary: special snowflake chump. As I write to you, I’m thinking to myself how I could never hate my ex because, 1) he was my first long-term relationship, 2) […]
Love, The All-Purpose Spackle
Anyone else notice this phenomenon? On infidelity forums, you’ll read a thread describing a thousand horrors and humiliations and invariably it ends — “but I love him.” But I love him. King’s X. “But I love him” (or her) means I can’t leave. As long as I feel love for this person, it cancels out […]
Biggest Whopper You Bought?
Every now and then as a Friday Challenge, CN tries to out-do each other with Most Outlandish Lie we were fed. Which is bad enough. What’s worse is that — trusting, foolish chumps we once were — we bought it. Like the cheater who refused to wear his wedding ring “out of consideration” for his […]
How Do I Get Over Feelings of Unfairness?
Hi Chump Lady, So I chucked out my ex after D-Day 2 a couple of months ago (although D-Day 1 was technically affairs…. I also suspect there have been more). We have been together 22 years, married for 13, and have 3 young kids. I had to be the one to end our relationship despite […]
This Is Your Brain on Hopium
Hopium is a powerful drug. You can hand a chump the most desperate set of circumstances, and goddamn it, that chump will work with it. Let’s just give it a year! I owe it to us to try! Sure, I can ionize my needs into tiny, undetectable particles! You’ll never get a whiff of my anger, […]
Your Very Best Spackle Please
At breakfast the other day Mr. CL ran a spackle scenario by me. He was reading “Chicken Soup for the Soul for Couples.” Let me stop here. I said, “I can’t tell CN you were reading ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul for Couples,’ they’re going to think I made you up. Like you’re a magical goat […]
Dear Chump Lady, Is she a cheater or a muse?
Dear Chump Lady, I am am 51 year old male who has been married to his wife for 27 years. There have been four distinct occasions when my wife “fell” for someone else, three of them led to no sexual or physical intimacy. The one came about when she was open with me about her “interest” […]
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