Dear Chump Lady, It has been 9 months since D-Day #2 and today would have been our 9th anniversary. A few days ago my STBXH made a public social media post about his mental health — admitting contemplating suicide, being in counseling and on meds — even (and this made me sick) making a vague […]
Escape After D-Day — ‘Should I Move?’
Dear Chump Lady, Shortly after New Year’s I accidentally found an email in our computer I couldn’t believe at first sight. The 31-year-old woman whom I had lived together with for 8 years, the woman I married 1 year and a half before that D-day, was cheating on me with another married man. He’s 10 […]
How Come No One But Chumps Seems to Get It?
Hi Chump Lady, Could you please give some advice as to how I can stop obsessing about cheater apologists? Absolutely nobody except those who have been cheated on seem to get it. My own mother told me that she can’t judge all cheaters because she doesn’t know the circumstances — there could be gray areas. […]
“I Need to Forgive the OW” WTF?
Dear Chump Lady, My divorce was final just 3 months ago. I went back to using my maiden name. I have been living with family and I expect to be living here awhile. Meanwhile, cheater ex and the OW live together. Life is going on. I am moving on as much as I can from […]
Dear Chump Lady, What happens to couple friends after divorce?
Dear Chump Lady, I am 6 months post-divorce after discovering my ex-wife’s infidelity. My question is what happens to couple friends after divorce? Can anyone remain impartial and be friends with both sides, or do things naturally drift one way or the other over time? Can I remain friends with someone who has seen me […]
No Tag Backs, OW
Hi CL! I’m a newbie chump (7 weeks going on 8) and up until now I behaved really rather well. I kept my cool and didn’t do the pick me dance, I managed not to drunk dial soon-to-be-ex-husband, up until last week he was still ‘harassing’ me via text/emails/calls (especially when drunk) with a mix […]
Dear Chump Lady, I don’t want to make nice with my OW SIL
Dear Chump Lady, I am 10 years out from leaving my cheating ex-husband. I found out about his affair on July 4, 2009, and have referred to that day as my “Independence Day.” I had dated him through high school and college and we were married for 16 years when he decided his sales representative […]
Dear Chump Lady, Nobody gets being chumped (except chumps)
Hi Chump Lady, I’m two months post D-Day. My piece of shit ex-husband is a middle school teacher who had an affair with the school guidance counselor (or, “brother fucker” as I like to call her). Said guidance counselor also had sex with my husband’s brother, as well as his direct report at school. I’m […]
‘Is it my fault my ex ran off with our nanny?’
Dear Chump Lady, My ex-husband cheated and ran off with the nanny. According to my ‘friends’ and family, it’s all my fault and they knew all along that this was coming. I feel like I’m being abused and cheated on all over again when they say these things. Can you please please put these sentences […]
Character Assassination? Probably.
A lot of my Chump Lady mail can be divided into two categories, “I got chumped… what are people going to think?” and “I got chumped… and my cheater is telling people terrible things about me.” Both followed with “And what can I do about that?” Nothing. Sorry, chumps. You can’t do anything about what people […]
