Dear Chump Lady, I am 10 years out from leaving my cheating ex-husband. I found out about his affair on July 4, 2009, and have referred to that day as my “Independence Day.” I had dated him through high school and college and we were married for 16 years when he decided his sales representative […]
Dear Chump Lady, Nobody gets being chumped (except chumps)
Hi Chump Lady, I’m two months post D-Day. My piece of shit ex-husband is a middle school teacher who had an affair with the school guidance counselor (or, “brother fucker” as I like to call her). Said guidance counselor also had sex with my husband’s brother, as well as his direct report at school. I’m […]
‘Is it my fault my ex ran off with our nanny?’
Dear Chump Lady, My ex-husband cheated and ran off with the nanny. According to my ‘friends’ and family, it’s all my fault and they knew all along that this was coming. I feel like I’m being abused and cheated on all over again when they say these things. Can you please please put these sentences […]
Character Assassination? Probably.
A lot of my Chump Lady mail can be divided into two categories, “I got chumped… what are people going to think?” and “I got chumped… and my cheater is telling people terrible things about me.” Both followed with “And what can I do about that?” Nothing. Sorry, chumps. You can’t do anything about what people […]
Dear Chump Lady, So why the hell isn’t she HAPPY now?
Hi Chump Lady, So my wife had an affair and after being found out asked for a trial separation. She said she had been “struggling with her feelings for me”, that whilst I was a great dad and someone she admired, she had changed and we had “drifted apart”. Yadda Yadda Yadda. I told her […]
Stupid Shit That People Say to Chumps
People say a lot of stupid, insensitive things to chumps. It’s everything from the grossly mistaken — “Gee, the affair partner doesn’t seem all that bad!” To the dunderheaded smugness of, “I’m so glad my husband would never cheat on me.” (Bully for you.) Chumps, being pretty nice people, are usually taken completely off guard. […]
Dear Chump Lady, What happens to couple friends after divorce?
Dear Chump Lady, I am 6 months post divorce after discovering my ex-wife’s infidelity in September 2013. This holiday season my children (12, 8) are with my ex-wife abroad with her affair partner on holiday with my ex in-laws. It sucks that my kids spend time with the man that helped break up my family […]
Dear Chump Lady, I discovered a Switzerland Sister
Dear Chump Lady, I’ve recently discovered my sister is back in touch with my ex husband – following each other on Social Media and WhatsApp messaging and birthday cards have been exchanged. I have had this information for a while, but it came to a head and I couldn’t bottle in anymore that this really […]
What to Say to Sanctimonious Rubberneckers?
Tis the season for unsolicited advice. Apparently, a bunch of you aren’t doing divorce right, and some well-meaning onlookers (cough…) have seen fit to point out your shortcomings. In yesterday’s comments, “Fern” imagined a rebuttal for busy bodies: “When you find out your spouse has been fucking strangers up the ass while you are home […]
Dear Chump Lady, What do I say to the people who knew?
Dear Chump Lady: How is one supposed to relate to people the cheater told about his affair? These are people he burdened with his secret, for whatever reason (validation?), that then were faced with the uncomfortable situation of feeling like they needed to “keep it to themselves”, for whatever reason. I actually confronted one of […]
