“Eat Your Pudding” and Other Sexy Affair Utterances

Several alert chumps have sent me the story about Steve Kroft, the 60 Minutes host having an affair with New York lawyer, Lisan Goines. (As OW names go, this one is Dickensian. Goines? Sounds like a cross between “goiter” and a Scooby Doo exclamation.)

The two cake-eaters are both married and the affair went on for over three years, but reportedly ended when Goines dumped him for being cheap. (He wouldn’t buy her train tickets.)

Kroft, like so many cheaters before him, chose to make a press statement speaking in the royal We.

“My wife and I are committed to each other and are working hard to get past this, and consider it a private matter.”

It’s always “my wife and I” — working together, getting past it, and considering it private. Really? You sure about that Steve? You certain she wants to stick by you after reading how you liked to drink champaign from your mistress’s ass?

Page 6 reports:

In one sexting session, Kroft allegedly cooed to Goines, “Miss you and all that goes with it. Especially my favorite tastes and colors … pink and brown.”

Another time, the 69-year-old newsman asked Goines, 41, “What exactly would be your preference,” the Enquirer reported.

“U all over and deep inside of me,” Goines responded.

At one point, the hard-working TV journalist, who has a son with Conant, lamented his long hours on the job, the report said.

“Working late. Just ordered out. Would rather be eating your pudding,” he allegedly wrote.

“Don’t work too hard this week bc I wanna wear you out afterward,” Goines replied.

“You got it,” Kroft responded, according to the Enquirer.

Ew.

Look, I’m sure no one would like their intimate sexy selves exposed on national media. I mean, we all probably have had cloying nicknames for our lovers or little kinks that best remain private, but I can’t help but marvel at the ick factor in affair talk. Rather be eating your pudding?

Is this a Bill Cosby reference?

Are you saying her genitalia is squishy? Because that’s not flattering, Steve. Are you saying she has vaginal discharge that you find endearing? Is this some reference to anal? What exactly about sex with her do you find gelatinous?

I’m sorry. I have a pretty creative mind and I cannot for the LIFE of me figure out how that line is sexy. What woman wouldn’t run screaming from that line? Or dissolve into hysterical fits of laughter?

Are cheaters just that delusionally narcissistic that this crap passes for kibbles?

I think you know the answer to that, chumps.

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Karma Express
Karma Express
9 years ago

Damn autocorrect. He typed “pu**y” but the prudish smartphone turned it to “pudding.” It’s so hard to be a cheater in the techno age.

nomar
nomar
9 years ago
Reply to  Karma Express

She’s a “pudding?” Wrong dessert. “Tart” is more like it.

Or maybe “Cundt Cake.”

Karma Express
Karma Express
9 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Cundt cake–love it! And tart reminds me of what my cheater said when he dumped me for the OW. He wanted a “fresh start.” I thought he meant “fresh tart.”

syringa
syringa
9 years ago
Reply to  Karma Express

Maybe ‘pudding’ was their safe word.
Morey was their Safer word

Arnold
Arnold
9 years ago
Reply to  Karma Express

You cannot say cundt cake. Dick cake is okay.

Ladywithatruck
Ladywithatruck
9 years ago
Reply to  Karma Express

Karma, ” He typed “pu**y” but the prudish smartphone turned it to “pudding.” It’s so hard to be a cheater in the techno age.” THAT is hilarious!

Sandra
Sandra
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Ms chumplady:

Please stop lying about why you were banned from SI, in your other post to the lady that was also banned from SI. You were banned because you say very disrespectful things about cheaters.
you continually disrespect BSs who have reconciled.
You were banned because you call them insulting names, and you were also banned because you troll the site looking for business to beef up your readership.
BTW: You also ban people and just threatened to ban someone in another blog you wrote for using insulting names. There are all types of insulting names, not just ones that start with a B, deary.
God you are in denial about yourself. Grow up and stop preaching and telling self serving lies.

Carol
Carol
9 years ago
Reply to  Sandra

I got banned from SI for a post, or perhaps several, that I made to another chump. This chick had a habit of posting a weekly whine about how hard reconciliation was. Only problem was, she was the reason it was so hard, or harder than it needed to be, because that was what she was making it, harder than it needed to be. The OW was a friend and a member of her social circle. Their kids went to the same school and were friends. This chump decided that taking any action to change this situation amounted to the OW “winning.” In other words, if she and her husband decided not to go to social functions where the OW and her husband would be, the OW won. If they decided to move, so the kids could go to a new school and make new friends, the OW “won.” The OW regularly texted the chump, to arrange play dates and such. From what I could tell, the husband was MYSTERIOUSLY silent about all this, and just sat back and went along with whatever. And, as you can imagine, all of this sickness kept the chump tore to pieces. So, she would regularly post the latest drama. The OW was at a party and she was having fun and it wasn’t fair. The OW this, the OW that. Everyone would post to her that she was such a strong person and she was doing the right thing, etc. ad nauseam. The problem is, that’s bullshit. She was taking no responsibility for the situation she was in, the situation she seemed completely unable to understand that SHE CHOSE!!! And why she was stuck on what defined that the OW was winning, I’ll never understand. Who the fuck cares about an OW. You win when you move the hell on and take control of your life and do what makes you happy. And clearly, that wasn’t going to a party where the OW was happily dancing the night away, so yeah, SHE WAS LETTING THE OW WIN. So, my posts about this situation didn’t go over too well. I guess I called her on this bullshit and SI is just the kind of place where you don’t do that. You ignore all kinds of crazy dysfunction because, well, I don’t know why, you just do. Anyways, I know I was right to tell her that she was creating every bit of the drama and she alone was responsible for the mess she was currently in, i.e. her misery as it related to the post-affair situation. If being around the OW was bothering her, she needed to do something about it and quit blaming stupid shit like changing something meant the OW won. It ain’t a game. It’s your fucking life!!! Get on with it.

Anyways, I laughed when I discovered they banned me because I was probably the lone voice of sanity posting in any of her threads. Everyone else was helping to keep her stuck in the same sorry place, patting her on the back for being so strong, LOL.

It was only later that I realized just how bad being at SI made me feel. God, the place is depressing and crazy-making. All of those cheaters posting, it was bullshit everywhere. All of those posts about monitoring your cheating spouse. OMG. It was awful. I haven’t missed that place at all, and I would NEVER advise another chump to go there.

I know there were a lot of nice people there. I even met a few in real life. One of the moderators lives in my city and we met up once. He is a splendid person. But, I needed to get away from there and by banning me, they made that happen. I feel better now that I don’t have to read all of that bullshit.

The funny thing is, the people at SI would say that my posting the above information, recounting what happened, is me “making fun of” these people. I’m not making fun of anyone, and hey, when they talk about me and Chump Lady (and I know they do), I don’t think they are “making fun” of us…they are pissed and that’s their side of the story. I’m simply stating what happened and the background story. If they feel made fun of, that’s on them. That’s the story. It’s out there. I’m just telling it. This isn’t grade school. If you think I’m “making fun” of you because this is your story, well, that’s sad, and I’m sorry you are stuck in grade school. SMH

P.S. It wouldn’t surprise me any at all if “Sandra” isn’t the chump who didn’t want the OW to win.

Arnold
Arnold
9 years ago
Reply to  Carol

One can be as respectful as hell on SI, but, if you consistently advocate divorce, they will ban you, eventually.
I merely mentioned Hillary Clinton once as an example of a betrayed wife , and I was banned for saying something political.

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  Arnold

Unicorn-hunting does not permit truth, Arnold. Learn the rules.

FreeWoman
FreeWoman
9 years ago
Reply to  Carol

Drama Queens in love with their drama!
Good that you got out of there.

Carol
Carol
9 years ago
Reply to  FreeWoman

It was good, FreeWoman, that I got booted from SI. I’m not sure I would have had the ability to stay away on my own. In fact, I know I didn’t have that ability. I made repeated attempts to stay away, because at times, it just got too overwhelming. I noticed that other posters/members got overwhelmed also, and there was always a steady stream of people posting that they were going to “take a break.” WTH??? But, once I got out of there, and made my way to Chump Lady, I never experienced that sick, overwhelmed, stressed, feeling again. I’ve never needed to take a break from Chump Lady. It took me a couple of years to get my mind back to normal, but I’m there now, and I think I just needed to get away from that mess that catered to the whole RIC and to helping cheaters. I don’t give a flying fuck about a cheater and helping them.

ForgeOn!
ForgeOn!
9 years ago
Reply to  Sandra

Sandra & Andy,

{{{{CRICKETS}}}}

That’s all……

Thankful
Thankful
9 years ago
Reply to  ForgeOn!

LOL (with Snort!!!)

Jayne
Jayne
9 years ago
Reply to  Sandra

Sandra 😀

Please come visit and call us ‘deary’ every day 😀 God bless your cotton socks, finding meaning to your life must be a bit of a challenge if this is how you get your rocks off! If you are finding reconciliation is working out just fine for you – great, I’m made up for you! Now, please – go find yourself another hobby other than taking swipes at folks who don’t necessarily agree with your choices in life, for heavens sakes!

Peace and love to you Sandra, sounds like you need it 🙂 x

Stefoosh
Stefoosh
9 years ago
Reply to  Sandra

I’m not even sure what this Andy and Sandy people are doing on here and I’m not quite sure what Sandy means when she says Chump Lady is telling self serving lies?? The only person that I know of that tells self serving lies is my STBX who has fucked over 100 women behind my back while in false reconciliations. I have been on reconciliation cites and I have been on here. I can say the only person who has been spot on about my cheater and the lies to look for has been Chump Lady. Without her I may have stayed in this lie of a marriage 13 more years to find my husband has given me Aids and I am going to die. I don’t think there is a contest out there. If you want to reconcile then great. I tried it 4 times while in therapy my cheater was still cheating and lying. The majority of them do. I’m sorry Andy and Sandy if that makes you uncomfortable that my husband still was lying to me behind my back. I guess that means it could be happening to you and that is a scary thought I am sure. Or maybe you are married to real unicorns and if that is the case I am truly happy for you but I suspect that’s not the case. Best wishes for you and your unicorns in 2015.

Lania
Lania
9 years ago
Reply to  Sandra

Banned for saying disrespectful things about cheaters? Given that cheaters financially, emotionally, psychologically and sometimes physically destroy us without any regard, making unilateral choices about our health, our children’s health and even our life, I think a couple of ‘disrespectful things’ being said are not even a drop in the ocean compared to the shit they do to us. Yes, I’m saying they deserve to be called out for the pieces of shit they are. And that’s generally what it is – calling people out on their shit. I guess we have to wear the kid gloves around these narcissistic fuckers, right?

Its an EXTREMELY rare thing for a cheater to be contrite and sufficiently remorseful to even bother reconciling. Often, its the same narcissistic fuckwad trying to steamroller the narrative for yet another DDay in the future.

There’s a vast difference between someone getting their just desserts after being a fuckwad, and spamming abuse at a random person. You see, the trolls (and including yourself here) are the latter.

Given the fact that CL calls a spade a spade, and this SI (and other nonsense RIC sites) pussyfoot around and give more voice to the ‘poor little sausage’ cheaters, I don’t see the ‘self serving lies’ on any site except for the RIC ones (Yes, I’m calling out your precious ‘SI’)

So, go kindly crawl back into the hole which you came from. We don’t want you here.

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  Lania

Game, set, match to Lania!!

Regina
Regina
9 years ago
Reply to  Lania

Oh yes Lania! Tell it!

LivingMyLife
LivingMyLife
9 years ago
Reply to  Sandra

I have now reconsiled for 2 years and I love Chumplady and all her advice still. I don’t understand how anyone who has been cheated on(sandy or Andy) could say anything wrong to her unless they are the cheater and not the chump. My postnup and CLs amazing advice on true reconciliation has served my soul well. I love this site! My cheater husband, read CL’s book and if a blog that I like shows up, he’ll read it . And we discuss it. He agrees to the poor character and the blameshifting that occurs. If sandy and Andy don’t get something positive from this blog, they must not have felt like me. I still look forward to CLs brilliant writing and her advice is spot on. If I didn’t have this site back then, I would have still blamed myself for his affair, I would have kept doing the pick me dance, and he probably would have kept seeing her. This Site is the greatest gift for ALL those whos souls have been harmed beyond measure. Do not bash CL. She is a Joan of ark for a beaten down chump. And this site is her Army

tryinghard
tryinghard
9 years ago
Reply to  LivingMyLife

LivingMyLife
I could not agree with you more. Although my H does not read the blog and didn’t read the book. I did however and found it personally and immensely helpful. CL empowers all BS’s not just those who choose to leave. That is my goal, to help all BS’s move forward and out of the hell that infidelity hands you. I get there are those who may disagree with us staying and as I said it was my choice just as it is someone else’s to leave. I really wish the trolls would just read and not comment. I see it on other blogs too and it’s just plain disrespectful!

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago
Reply to  tryinghard

And hey, we have you and others trying to reconcile on the forum, we don’t beat you up for it, in fact we hope you end up OK. Jedi Hugs Tryinghard!

NoMoreNarcs
NoMoreNarcs
9 years ago
Reply to  Sandra

I have to ask: What is SI?

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
9 years ago
Reply to  NoMoreNarcs

Surviving Infidelity I think

nomar
nomar
9 years ago
Reply to  Sandra

Sandy and Andy: You really don’t have any idea what you’re talking about, it shows, and it isn’t attractive. Don’t know what possessed you to troll this site, but feel free to leave. And consider yourself warned: reading what’s posted here has a way of getting into your brain and making you smarter, stronger, and more compassionate.

SheChump
SheChump
9 years ago
Reply to  nomar

What’s amazing to me is that post was so buried because it was written after CL’s post of the day. How in the world did somebody ever find it, unless they were looking back over posts. Is SI on their radar to ‘search’ for anybody that mentions this site? Unbelievable. And, as CL said, we think the internet is a pretty big place for all sorts of guidance in the infidelity world. Too bad the wonderful resource of the Financial Post couldn’t have been shared with the woman so desperately looking for financial help. I guess not allowing anybody to mention -OMG ‘CL’s name is an automatic enemy of the site. Get real folks. And, go troll somewhere else. Good grief.

SheChump
SheChump
9 years ago
Reply to  SheChump

Either they are trolls or they are closet lurkers.

Thankful
Thankful
9 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Nomar if you have a twin in Australia I would love to meet him because you are hilarious.

Arnold
Arnold
9 years ago
Reply to  Thankful

Would you settle for a clone?

DaisyDupedNoMore
DaisyDupedNoMore
9 years ago
Reply to  Sandra

Hey Sandra, here’s a thought – if you don’t like Chump Lady or what she has to say or how she says it? Stay the fuck off her blog. See? I just solved your problem! If you don’t read her, you won’t have to fret about what she’s saying or how she says it. The rest of us are here because we adore her just as she is. The internet is a big place. Why don’t you find somewhere else to squat.

ChumpsofHumanity
ChumpsofHumanity
9 years ago

I couldn’t have said it better. Thank you Daisy Duped.

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  Sandra

Sandra is back. Why? If reconciliation, a la SI worked for you, what brings you here?

Those of us on this site have typically chosen self-respect and dignity over years of anti-depressants, humiliation, and emotional abuse required to stay in a marriage marred by infidelity. I know of two couples who have managed to surmount infidelity because one partner really worked hard to make amends and change their ways; for each of those couples, I know 10 more for whom infidelity was simply part of a more damaging picture (and who were happier once they left their cheater).

Everyone on this site is either hurting or has been badly hurt. They have chosen the path that works best for them, and come here seeking solace and community. Why are you so incensed by that? I don’t mock the two couples I know who were able to reconcile after cheating, but it was not the right path for me or my marriage. What is your agenda, Sandra? Do you have some religious objection to people choosing divorce? If so, you should know that the bible (and many religions) claim infidelity is a legitimate reason to divorce.

Do you object to children being in divorced families? I happen to know the research on this very well–children in divorced families can fare just as well as other children, and in fact, fare better than they would have in high-conflict marriages. I know my own minor daughter is actually BETTER psychologically now that there is no emotional abuse in the house.

I really don’t understand why you come to the CL site, nor why you have to critique ChumpLady, who has helped so many of us.

Moving Liquid
Moving Liquid
9 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

It would appear that Sandra and Andy are not too happy with their reconciliation attempts and want to take it out on the rest of us.

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  Moving Liquid

ML–yes, they are hoisted on their own petard.

Arnold
Arnold
9 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Well , cheaters are all assholes. Sandra.
So, why respect them.
Next, you will be complaining that Hitler deserves respect.
Look, let’s just admit it. These folks are wired so differently than a person with a conscience they are not worthy of respect and should all just be put on Fuckshit Island together where they can copulate to their loins content.

Her Blondeness
Her Blondeness
9 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Ya know, when posters troll other boards I frequent, the regulars post pictures of kittens. Got any?

Seriously, don’t feed the trolls.

I happen to frequent both sites. Both have their uses and perspectives. But like Star Trek and Star Wars, I don’t cross over.

tryinghard
tryinghard
9 years ago
Reply to  Her Blondeness

Just as not all African Americans are thugs, not all whites are racists, not all Muslims are terrorists, not all reconciling Chumps are trolls or against Chump Lady. I mostly read here and sometimes I comment. I think this is a good blog for all who are betrayed. You give me strength and great information. I think CL is hilarious, snarky, and from what I can see good natured. I’m sure she’d tell me to dump my Cheater, and maybe disrespect me having not, but I haven’t and I will NEVER say her advice would be wrong. I stayed because I took a chance, right or wrong. Who knows I may or may not live to regret my choice to stay and it was my choice.

CL’s take on infidelity is 100% correct. I have no idea if the stats saying reconciling is impossible after infidelity are right or wrong.. I do know you can make stats say anything you want with proper massaging. I have no idea why some folks come to a blog like this only to criticize your choices. The only blogs I don’t comment on are the OW/OM blogs. I could never be supportive of unrepentant facilitators. I don’t need to teach anyone a lesson and anything I would have to say would fall on deaf ears. And again I learn there so they have some value to me 🙂 I will say however, those blogs are pretty insipid.

So just because I’m a reconciling, unicorn hunter :), please don’t block me. I hope I can be of strength and support to you as well. I’m very sorry there are those in “my camp” who choose to not be supportive and critical of you all.

Now can we get back to Eating Pudding??? I swear, I’m still laughing!

Andy
Andy
9 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Tempest Opines: “Those of us on this site have typically chosen self-respect and dignity over years of anti-depressants, humiliation, and emotional abuse required to stay in a marriage marred by infidelity.”Really this site gives you dignity. Are you serious? I hope not, it seriously diminishes you as do the silly pictures of CL.
BTW: Stop projecting your feelings onto others and stop making ASSumptions. Why are you still posting on this crappy site, if you are so dignified? Sandra and I never posted here prior. You are presently the topic of discussion among regulars at SI. If CL can post there, why can’t we post here. You guys are in denial about yourselves. Do you always make assumption? There are umpteen Sandras at SI, yet you insist you know this one. like misinformation much. Is that intelligent. It’s true, CL bans people too. Typically anyone who disagrees with her is a troll and banned. Well it took a lot longer for the SI mods to ban chumpy lady.

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  Andy

Gosh, Andy, you know who you sound like? Belittling people for trying to seek solace, make sense of, and have a sense of humor about the most traumatic event in their lives?

My husband (STBX).

Never content to let other people make their own choices about their lives, always contemptuous if someone disagrees with them, snide instead of empathetic. Were you the cheater in your relationship Andy?

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago
Reply to  Andy

Andy said “Sandra and I never posted here prior. You are presently the topic of discussion among regulars at SI. If CL can post there, why can’t we post here.”

You are so full of shit, SI banned CL a long time ago, why don’t you reinstate her, hmmm?

What’s up your and Sandra’s butts? CL posted why she was banned YEARS ago, did it take you that long to read the post…or are you just bored with tracking your spouses every move these days?

Furthermore, CL doesn’t ban people unless they are really egregiously harmful. And I’m betting if I joined SI and began posting my opinions there I’d join her in being banned.

Jayne
Jayne
9 years ago
Reply to  Andy

Andy – Bless! How come you feel so free to come here attacking individual posters (love you Tempest!) for expressing themselves from the wisdom of their own experience – whatever makes you feel MIGHTY right? So someone had the audacity to see life differently from you? Gosh, aren’t you the ‘Great I Am’ – who died and made you God? I’d love to know!

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  Jayne

I love you, too, Jayne!!

(And I am remembering correctly that your X/STBX was such a financial genius that you were forced to move at the beginning of the week? How are you doing?)

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
9 years ago
Reply to  Andy

That’s so weird Andy because I was on this site for about a year while I was still chasing the reconciliation unicorn and I made the occasional comment and even let people know what my status was; yet no one belittled me and I was never banned. (As you can see there are a couple of other posters that are in the same boat and I’ve seen them post frequently here so I’m not buying what you’re selling.)

Of course I tended to agree with everything that was being said and if I didn’t, I just didn’t comment that day. Not for any other reason than I had enough reading comprehension to understand that this site was about “Leaving a Cheater and Gaining a Life.” No punches pulled there-it’s right in the title clear as day. Seems pretty straight forward to me.

Though I never bothered with a membership to SI, I used to frequent an Infidelity board at Daily Strength and occasionally still post. I think the difference is that “surviving infidelity” and other “Infidelity” boards seem to indicate that there’s more than one way to survive it by their very own title. Perhaps if the boards had the title “militant unicorn chasers” instead people who have left a cheater and gained a life would be less likely to comment? I don’t know. When I go to infidelity boards it’s to try to give the other perspective. Perhaps that’s seen as trolling but only to the unenlightened.

Chump Lady tries to help betrayed spouses of the world get out of that situation because the sad truth is that the majority of the time it doesn’t work. I’ve never seen her belittle anyone on this site that chose to reconcile-she just asks them to be respectful of those that have left. She makes fun of cheaters (we all do)…so what. Most of them are so ludicrous it’s warranted.

We’re all technically in the same boat here (unless you’re a cheater) and we’ve all felt the same pain. Why do you want to draw a line in the sand? Cheating is wrong and betrayed spouses don’t cause it to happen. That’s the only message here. If more of us adopted that philosophy maybe there would be less cheating. So why don’t you try to take it down a notch. When we’re divided we’re conquered.

Just sayin.

Free2b1
Free2b1
9 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

ditto

Bea
Bea
9 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

Omg cheetersucks, I love your comment.

namedforvera
namedforvera
9 years ago
Reply to  Andy

wait, what?

If you want to get your rocks off talking about Chumplady behind its back, go right ahead. A number of cartoonists just died in France for the right to be juvenile and offensive, so step right up and be idiotic.

You’ll probably get the same thrill from secrecy (ooooh!) that who ever of you –or both! double rainbow! — got from cheating. How can you resist making it all about YOU!?

Huh, funny, none of us here at this site have ever encountered people so disordered that Everything Is About Them, I’ll bet.

Straw poll, anyone?

[what I should have said: whoooosh! Troll-be-gone.]

ChumpsofHumanity
ChumpsofHumanity
9 years ago
Reply to  Andy

Hi Andy, I’m new to this site but what does SI stand for. My guess is Sleazy Idiots. Do tell.

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago

SI stands for “Surviving Infidelity” it’s a forum that’s big on reconciliation.

Hesatthecurb
Hesatthecurb
9 years ago

or maybe SI stands for ‘selfish infidel’?

Hesatthecurb
Hesatthecurb
9 years ago

SI stands for ‘stupid infidel’, doesn’t it?

mary
mary
9 years ago
Reply to  Andy

If Sandra and Andy have a real live unicorn then why not go and groom it instead of wasting their time on here.
I do not feel the need to troll the sites of people who wish to remain in their marriages as they have the right to decide for themselves how to live. If a couple can get past an affair and be happy again I wish them nothing but success with that.
I would not recommend this site to anyone “working on their marriage” though…our stories will not be the stuff you want to hear.
I am sure there are some couples who make it and many more who fake it.

Einstein
Einstein
9 years ago
Reply to  mary

Sandra and Andy don’t have a real live unicorn, and they know in their hearts they don’t. That’s why they are so incensed at CL and this blog, People who are confident in their decisions don’t take offense to differing opinions.

Denial only works when you can actually sell yourself the crap.

Moving Liquid
Moving Liquid
9 years ago
Reply to  mary

Agreed, Mary.

ANC
ANC
9 years ago
Reply to  mary

Hey. This is not a club anyone wanted to join. If SI members chose to reconcile, good for them. I feel it is a waste of time to go tit-for-tat with anyone who has had this experience. I get snarky rug sweepers, entitled asshats and such. Why snark on someone who is dealing with the exact same shit in a manner they are comfortable with? Who cares either way. There is no power in stirring the pot. Just creates an unnecessary shit storm.

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  Andy

Furthermore, statistics do not bear you out–most marriages which include infidelity fail. Of those that don’t, VERY FEW are considered happy. If yours is one of those very few, more power to you.

syringa
syringa
9 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

What is the SITE blog?

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  Andy

No, Andy, it is my husband who tried to diminish me with his narcissistic putdowns and his screwing other people (not this site)

Yes, it gives me dignity to hang out on-line with people of integrity who actually WORKED at their marriages, and were hurt when their partners trampled all over their compassion and their love. And yes, it gives me dignity to poke fun at cheaters who soiled the institutions of marriage and parenthood. Get a sense of humor.

As to my being talked about over on SI, as Oscar Wilde said, “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”

If you want to engage in a battle of wits, be sure you know your opponent.

tryinghard
tryinghard
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

OMG CL I have been WAITING for your response to this news since I heard it a couple days ago. And now I am laughing so hard that my co-workers are looking at me!!! Seriously, I’m dying!!! Pleasssse don’t let this be the only recount on this. You have so much more to say I just know, but this, THIS, made.my.day!!!! Rock on CL, rock on!!!!

Jules
Jules
9 years ago
Reply to  tryinghard

OMG–me too. I’m also laughing to hard at work that my coworkers are staring at me! This is great. And yes, affair talk is sick. That is how I discovered his affair…she was texting how (I will leave out the exact descriptive) she wanted to have sex with him next! I about threw up that night–both because of the discovery and her detail. Glad I’m out of that relationship!

Thank you CL for making me laugh so hard today I can hardly breathe! You rock!!

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  Karma Express

lol!

Dr. I Can't Believe I'm a Chump
Dr. I Can't Believe I'm a Chump
9 years ago
Reply to  Karma Express

^^^This.

flyingsquirrel
flyingsquirrel
9 years ago

I must be the only one who read the pudding comment and thought, “Gee, she must make a mean batch of rice pudding.”

Autocorrect makes way more sense.

overcomer
overcomer
9 years ago

Hahahahaha! Love it Karma express!

Let go
Let go
9 years ago

Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, John Ensign, Vance McAllister, Bill Cosby, Mark Sanford, Teddy Kennedy(and don’t anybody tell me he and a bunch of other middle age farts weren’t trying to bone some young women on Chappaquidic), Michael Kennedy, some mayor of LA, did Joe Scarborough dump his wife for someone?, did Connie Mack dump his wife for Sonny Bono’s widow?, Bret Farve sexting, the Weiner guy sexting and these are the ones that popped up in my head. Oh, I forgot, Gen Petreaus, is that spelled right?
Why would his wife try to work out anything. She has no idea where his hands and lips have been but after those texts she has got a good idea!!!

Arnold
Arnold
9 years ago
Reply to  Let go

Charles Kuralt, Paul Neman, Barbara Walters, Vince Gill and that Amy whoever, paulaBroadwell, Julius Erving, Kirby Puckett, Leann Rhimes, Pitt,
Jolie, etc… The list is endless.
Old guys chasing younger women. Hypergamous women chasing assholes.

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago

Of course, the most cringe-worthy affair untterance remains the comment that Prince Charles made to then-mistress Camilla about wanting to be her tampon. Eww.

onthehill
onthehill
9 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

…… and don’t forget John Edwards.

nic
nic
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Always strings attached…..

Hesatthecurb
Hesatthecurb
9 years ago
Reply to  nic

nic—hardy har har!

How about Croft’s text about ‘pink and brown’===brown WHAT?????

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  Hesatthecurb

Okay–just figured out the “pink and brown”–the mistress is African American. He is pretty sophomoric.

Carol
Carol
9 years ago

My favorite part was that he told her his marriage was sexless. I was rolling my eyes about that oh-so-predictable explanation for whoring around, but then I saw HIS picture and it was suddenly in the realm of possibility. Another thing that stood out to me was his characterization of the affair as being “hurtful” to his wife and family. Cheaters are always minimizing the damage! Hurtful is finding out your sister-in-law made fun of your cooking. Try “devastated” or “traumatic” or just STFU and let the people you’ve betrayed define it for themselves. What a loser.

kb
kb
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

The three year “lapse in judgement” is right up there with calling a multi-year affair “a” mistake, or, perhaps, “an” accident.

Thankful
Thankful
9 years ago
Reply to  kb

On d’day just after my X confessed his affair eight years prior and his engaging in oral sex with others sinse the affair. I had an elder of my then church justify that my X had ‘fallen’ tried to walk straight but had ‘fallen’ again. I just laugh at the minimization in this statement.

what makes me laugh now 13 months post d’day is that when I asked X later that day when he had had the affair he climed to not remember the dates but when asked how many was able to give me an instant responce of 20. as if!

FT
FT
9 years ago
Reply to  kb

Because, “It just happened”, comes from page 2 of “Cheating 101 for dummies…”

Chumplady, thanks for the laugh. I am almost rolling on the floor with laughter.

I am 6 years post bomb drop. This is a life changing experience and your wit, insight and humour is superb

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Yep. Reminds me of my ex describing his non-stop cheating during our 20-year marriage as “a sordid phase” he went through.

Arnold
Arnold
9 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

My w refers to it as her “restless period”.
How did I marry such a horse’s ass?

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  Arnold

Arnold–kind of like Picasso’s “blue Period?” Where do these cheaters come up with this nonsense?

Carol
Carol
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

That too! I commented on that over at HuffPo. All the way around, he is such a loser. And it’s all very predictable.

ChumpsofHumanity
ChumpsofHumanity
9 years ago
Reply to  Carol

Hi Carol, I read your other posts on HP about the “4 mistakes I made in my marriage” or whatever that silly article was called. Your comments are spot on. Stay mighty!

MovingOn
MovingOn
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

ITA… a serious lapse in judgment was the time when I was driving my little car that didn’t do well in the snow, took a turn too fast, and ended up having to call AAA to pull me out of a snowbank. What he has is a serious lapse in character, decency, and morals.

Lania
Lania
9 years ago
Reply to  MovingOn

More like, he *never had* that character, decency and morals.

Chump Princess
Chump Princess
9 years ago
Reply to  MovingOn

Well said MovingOn, well said. Exactly. I know when you’re all caught up in the googly-goo of an affair, 3 years can just fly by and feel only like a moment in time (gag), but it is still too long for it to be considered merely a “lapse in judgment.” A lapse in judgment is eating that bag of potato chips when you are aware that you suffer from hypertension. 3 years of betrayal, lies, deceit and sipping champagne from someone’s ass – that makes you a heinous fuckwad with a severe moral, integrity and character deficit.

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
9 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

Now that is a visual. Please tell me you made that up and he didn’t really sip champagne from her butt??!!

Chump Princess
Chump Princess
9 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

Well, Cheaterssuck, one of the headlines about their affair said he drank (sipped?) champagne from her rear-end. Since I apparently am not living the life of the 16 million (billion?) dollar man, I have never had anyone ask or actually drink or sip champagne from my ass, so I cannot testify if it is possible or enjoyable. I have, however, had someone who was willing to purchase a train ticket for me. Go figure.

Arnold
Arnold
9 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

Stings like the dickens.

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

one hopes that only means her ass was big enough to place a champagne glass on, otherwise I’d be puking

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
9 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

I haven’t been keeping up. Isn’t that just a big ole’ bucket of yuck!

movin_on
movin_on
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

That was the part that turned my stomach, too…a THREE YEAR lapse in judgment? A-hole.

IHaveHate
IHaveHate
9 years ago

Oh wow!! This is all very naus-eating!! (pun intended)

KJ
KJ
9 years ago

OMG no more reading CL at work, I almost choked on my headset laughing! Is the allure of an affair really THAT enticing that you find the idea of a man in his SIXTIES wanting his face near your ass appealing?!! Thank God I’m of sound chump mind, grandpa needs to stick to the puddings he’ll be getting in that retirement home I hope his poor wife sticks him in! Well, at least this has made me howl with laughter and funnily enough I’ve lost my appetite for my usual mid-afternoon chocolate splurge!

violet
violet
9 years ago

Looks to me like he bailed on the married OW so she got pissed and ran to the Enquirer. How else would they have all the texts? Let this be a lesson to all cheaters: fuck with a disordered cheater and a disordered cheater will fuck with you. My X still can’t believe that the married AP set him up in a very similar fashion and, of course, claimed she had no idea how the press got ahold of the story.

I feel for Kroft’s wife and son as I know what they are going through right now. Their whole life and the massive betrayal is now fodder for the press. It is a very lonely and isolating place to be and I hope they have a strong support network. They are going to need it, as is Goines’s husband.

I also couldn’t help but notice the age difference between Kroft and the AP-28years. Did he really think that a women in her late 30’s/early 40’s found him “hot.” No, she, like so many fame whores, was attracted to his perceived position of power . It never ceases to amaze me when these old geezers are so blinded by lust/ hero-worship that they do not realize they are being played. What’s next for Ms. Goines? A book deal? A tell-all magazine confessional, sold to the highest bidder? I certainly can’t imagine she will continue to practice law. Who would want her as their lawyer?

expatChump
expatChump
9 years ago
Reply to  violet

I truly hate that STBX’s whore isn’t married. She has nothing to lose. Yeah, maybe it’s wrong to wish another family was devastated in all this mess, but it sucks that my kids and I are the only ones gutted while STBX and whore jet off to various destinations and screw and have “pudding” in 5-star hotels around the world.

Let go
Let go
9 years ago
Reply to  expatChump

Yeah, but expat, they have each. A fate worse than death. Lots of hotels have bedbugs. Something to hope for.

This Chump medicated for your protection
This Chump medicated for your protection
9 years ago
Reply to  violet

His younger OW had an agenda or when it comes to men she is as dumb as a box of rocks! I’ll bet on the rocks.

Let go
Let go
9 years ago
Reply to  violet

I am guessing someone at the many hotels they booked recognized him and for some ready cash alerted the Natl Enquirer.

Miss Sunshine
Miss Sunshine
9 years ago

Why should he have to buy her a train ticket? Isn’t it enough that she gets to be with him?

Awwwwwww…Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeahhhhhhhhhhhh….

Surely that’s how a narc thinks. I love how their hookups went from fancy to roachy in no time. He’s the prize!

I love the “sexless marriage” ploy, as well. Maybe it’s because he’s not interested in women who, like his wife, are only a quarter of a century younger than he–he likes ’em younger. Maybe it’s because he “works late” and has a wandering eye/dick. Maybe he treats her like the help. Maybe it’s the cliche they all use.

My xH bragged that he offered to pay the Troll gas money every time she drove an hour and a half to fuck him in our family truck or in a cheap motel, but she never accepted the money. She aimed higher–for the whole package. She’s so honorable and kind, not like me. Also, he texted to her that he was so in love with all the time she spent with him at a “simple motel.” aka: cheap, dank roadside hookup joint. That was her red flag, I suppose.

Miss Sunshine
Miss Sunshine
9 years ago
Reply to  Miss Sunshine

OK, my math is off. Wife is only 14 years younger than he is.

ElectricTulip
ElectricTulip
9 years ago
Reply to  Miss Sunshine

But Sunshine he was TRAPPED in a sexless marriage. It was virtually a hostage situation. Poor old guy mistook this random woman for a metal nail-file and a knotted sheet, have you no humanity??

violet
violet
9 years ago
Reply to  ElectricTulip

Alot of mariages become “sexless” when the cheating starts. I think one of the biggest red flags is when the sex stops. I got a million reasons for why my X wasn’t interested in sex, after years of a very active sex life. Turns out it was because he was fucking OW. To add insult to injury, I was then told one of the reasons he betrayed me and our marriage was because we weren’t having sex! Talk about circular “logic”. And all that time I was putting my needs aside because I didn’t want to hurt him. I bet Kroft’s wife heard a similar line; classic cheater speak.

Chumpita
Chumpita
9 years ago
Reply to  violet

OMG! Exactly the same for me…sexless marriage was because of the cheater! I was always the one to initiate and it was always soooo boring! I thought he was depressed, sick or just wasn´t into sex as much any more. I even looked it up and read it was quite “normal”. He didn´t want to do therapy or anything. I even offered him a “remedy” of sex every day for 30 days and he rejected it…didn´t feel like it. Only a cheating narc would do this! It really drives me crazy mad when I hear anyone insinuate that it was the chump´s fault for withholding sex! This is clearly a form of abuse and humiliation.

Thankful
Thankful
9 years ago
Reply to  Chumpita

Every day for 30 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I sugested every day for a week and that was not attainable.

I would appreciate some feed back on this as I have really struggled with my selfesteem in this area. It caused a lot of friction in my marriage that I was later accused of causing due to my supposed poor state of mental health.

I once mentioned to my ministers wife many years before D’day that I was sick of living in a loveless marriage and she just laughed and walked away.

sam
sam
9 years ago
Reply to  Thankful

@thankful

I have an amazing guy in my life right now. He is open and loving and attentive and caring and honest. It really is completely unexpected. I’ve spent my whole life with sexually dysfunctional men. To find a man I can be so open with has helped me achieve some healing. He says the guys in my past are idiots for not appreciating me….lol

My advice to anyone now is, if the sex isn’t there to begin with or goes away after engagement or marriage, run. It is NOT going to get better. If sex is important to you, then wait for someone who shares that with you.

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago
Reply to  Thankful

My ex and I had amazing sex for 12 years, then he convinced me to marry him and it went away. He claimed physical issues, it was a porn addiction out of control, so he tried to fix it with an affair, AGAIN. Yes I bought the Unicorn the first time. 10 years later, found out he did it again. He withheld sex from me for 5 years, tried the pills a couple of times but wouldn’t do anything with me because he couldn’t completely get off. Only later did it occur to me that if he loved me, he would have been able to do other things with me so I wouldn’t suffer.

Anyhow, I don’t believe it was just his porn habit or the OW. If you love sex and your spouse pushes you away, it’s partly a power play. Controlling you. It’s every kind of fucked up. And like many above, after discovery of the affair, a reason was this, he told everyone we hadn’t had sex in years! He just did not tell them he was the one who refused to have sex.

Supreme Chump
Supreme Chump
9 years ago
Reply to  violet

My stbx withheld sex and intimacy from me. He told his OWs ours was a sexless marriage. What he didn’t tell them , though, was the fact that he was the one who was withholding. I was the one asking him what was wrong and telling him that we needed to fix that part of our marriage. See, I didn’t realize that I was the only one in a sexless marriage. My stbx was having plenty of sex in our marriage– just not with me.
I still can’t believe what s scumbag he is.

SheChump
SheChump
9 years ago
Reply to  Supreme Chump

Supreme Chump and other ladies – I’m also chiming in. Almost from my honeymoon onward, it was sexless, except for me serving him 2-3x’s a week, if you know what I mean. Masturbator King. What was wrong with me putting up with it for 35 yrs? No clue. But, now I feel extra cheated of that long without sex. I loved sex before I met him, and think I still do. Yeah, guess I allowed myself to become celibate and bff’s with my vibrator. No doubt he used the ‘sexless marriage/roomate-thingie’ with the hyena but I still think he is closet gay.

Carmella1722
Carmella1722
9 years ago
Reply to  Supreme Chump

Sex and intimacy was rare in my marriage too. Before my D-Day, I was online trying to find reasons why a husband would not be interested in sex. They all said the same thing–that he’s getting it somewhere else. “No, not my DH” I thought. He always told me he just wasn’t a very sexual guy. What a fool I was. I found out later about all the random hookups he had and dating sites he was on. Then he told OW he sleeps alone. While I starved for intimacy. Infuriating. But then he would text OW how she was ‘the one’ and the only one he wanted, and then immediately after text one of his whores from Plenty of Fish and make plans to meet at a motel that night, which they did. She’ll soon learn what a POS he is.

KibbleFree_MightyMe
KibbleFree_MightyMe
9 years ago
Reply to  Supreme Chump

Supreme Chump – I’d write something to add to this very topic of me also living in a sexless “marriage,” but you wrote my story – perfectly. I hate that we were both living the same lives where this is concerned. I’ve said so many times that I’ll never ask or beg for love, affection, appreciation, or sex from a fucktard EVER again.

mary
mary
9 years ago
Reply to  Supreme Chump

Sex was a rare thing in my marriage and was made scarce from the engagement onwards. He had “mother issues” and a strict religious upbringing.
His chastity only applied to me though as I think he was sexual with other women all along. The laugh of it was that his FOO had a closet full of skeletons relating to sex and scandal which was all hushed up.

Maree
Maree
9 years ago
Reply to  mary

Mary, sex was not rare in my marriage but my ex definitely had ‘mother issues’. My ex is an adopted only child who was raised by 2 unusual people. One day, my late MIL said to me that my ex was only marrying me because I reminded him of her. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up because I thought it an unusual comment. She would say things to my ex that mother’s would not normally say to their sons. Anyway, every time my ex went to see his parents he had to have sex when he arrived home. I am glad he didn’t visit them very often!! But it was something that always made me aware of an unusual situation. He even travelled to Asia with his mother before we started dating. Maybe that is why he is now chasing young Asian girls. They can have him.

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  Supreme Chump

Although the knowledge that My STBX was banging whore-student and then sleeping with me the next day is not an appealing thought, either. Eww.

Thankful
Thankful
9 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

on the third attempt of truth from the cheater, 18 months before d’day.

Me, “Have you been with another woman? as you clearly are not into me”.
Him, “no!”
Me, “Have you been with another man?”
Him, “no!!!!!!” ( insert BS, gaslighting here )

D’day has been and gone and I am not clear on wether he is a Narc or a PD or if I was just not asking the right questions, but one thing I do know the need to replace all sheets, towels and cutlary has been overwhelming.

Hesatthecurb
Hesatthecurb
9 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Tempest–I’m with you on the ewww factor. My super narc XBF had sex with me the night before, the next morning and then AT LUNCHTIME with his whorish ‘ex girlfriend’. Wash, rinse repeat.

sam
sam
9 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

My last relationships was sexless…because of HIM, not me. He *said* he had ED. I was sympathetic. I didn’t nag or belittle him. I was supportive. Made doctors appointments to make sure there wasn’t some bad underlying cause. I gave him “space” so he didn’t feel pressured.

Turns out he was paying hookers for blow jobs………

The “I’m in a sexless marriage” uttered by a lying cheating crapweasel always makes my blood boil because people assume it is because of the wife/significant other.

Guess what people, sometimes the relationship is sexless because of the cheater.

ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

susan
susan
9 years ago

How’s the other man in the story? Hope he dumps his wife as well.

Miss Sunshine
Miss Sunshine
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

My best guess is that it was an extortion ploy, never considering that the cheater would be THAT much of a cheapskate. But, as we all know, when someone shows you who they are, etc.

Let go
Let go
9 years ago

Oh my lord, I forgot the worst of the bunch……..ta da, John Edwards! Slime personified.

EnoughAlready
EnoughAlready
9 years ago
Reply to  Let go

Two words: Jerry Sandusky.

SheChump
SheChump
9 years ago
Reply to  EnoughAlready

Gawd – puke on the Sandusky. I do wonder what his wife was up to all that time, though.

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  SheChump

In denial, I’m sure. Nothing she did could justify his screwing 11-year olds up the a** in the showers. That is so many shades of f-ed up.

chumpanzee
chumpanzee
9 years ago
Reply to  Let go

SC governor Mark Sanford ain’t no prize either

LilyBart
LilyBart
9 years ago
Reply to  chumpanzee

The Sanford thing blew up the same month as my first D-Day, when I was reeling. Bless Jenny Sanford. I was so grateful to see a politician’s wife say no to “standing by her man.” It took me a while to come around myself, but I knew that she was the model I wanted to follow.

In a weird way, I was also grateful to Mark Sanford for being such a batshit-crazy person, seemingly out of touch with how ridiculous he looked. It helped me see that my situation was not totally unique, and that the cheater mindset is completely irrational.

SeeTheLight
SeeTheLight
9 years ago
Reply to  LilyBart

Jenny Sanford went through all the classic chumping by her X. He would publicly trample on her boundaries (property trespass), gaslight (not make good on kids savings accounts and other agreements, as per property settlement), and recently, blame-shifting (her fault for breakup with soul-mate). The cheater apologists still come out to defend him, calling his X, the “scorned woman.” Very bitter…they have no clue. But, Sanford continues to misstep and show his true colors as an entitled narcissist. Very entertaining to watch from the outside, probably not so much for his kids.

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  LilyBart

I agree about Jenny Sanford, LilyBart. Goodness knows how much spackling she had had to do over the years given the mess that was her husband.

And if she had been forced to do what Silda Spitzer had to do–stand behind cheater-hubby as he gave a prepared statement in order to save his political career, I would have smashed the TV (and I didn’t even know my own chumpdom then).

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  Let go

Yes, Edwards. Shows what you can get away with if you have a great head of hair.

Lyn
Lyn
9 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Yes Edwards, he’s my personal favorite lowest of the low. He chumped Rielle for another woman which is even richer…

Lulu
Lulu
9 years ago

My favorite part of his statement was calling his 3-year affair a “was a serious lapse of personal judgment.” Drinking too much at the company Christmas party while belting out Toto’s “Africa” is a “serious lapse of personal judgement”; fucking another woman behind your wife’s back for 3 YEARS makes you a deceitful creep.

expatChump
expatChump
9 years ago
Reply to  Lulu

Leave Toto’s “Africa” out of this. #lovethatsong

DaisyDupedNoMore
DaisyDupedNoMore
9 years ago
Reply to  expatChump

Thanks Expat! That was the cherry on top of all the laughter this post and the comments have given me today. SO glad I shut my office door before I started reading!

FoolMeTwice
FoolMeTwice
9 years ago
Reply to  expatChump

Lol 🙂

Let go
Let go
9 years ago
Reply to  Lulu

Yeah, but he is famous! Don’t you get it?!!? He can do anything!
What in the hell did she get out of it? Boinking a wrinkled old fart? It must be love.

chumpfor21
chumpfor21
9 years ago

And people wonder why I say “No more”. UGH!

I used to work (thankfully recently retired) in a male dominated field. I was disgusted by the behavior I saw all around me (no offense to chimps but I likened my position to Jane Goddall – minus the snappy ponytail). I NEVER thought cheating would happen to me. SO STUPID.

Dont like painting the entire gender as sex crazed – but in the age of information – the details that fall out are truly astonishing.

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  chumpfor21

Chumpfor21–Jane Goodall, except you were studying primal beings instead of primate beings.

chumpfor21
chumpfor21
9 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Indeed. Disordered primal beings.

conniered
conniered
9 years ago

I would be so PISSED if my cheater said that “we are very committed to each other” after all that came out. That is so manipulative. Committed to each other? No you weren’t Steve Kroft. You were committed to your pudding! Ew. That is so disgusting.I never saw the texts between my STBX and his OW and I am grateful. Just the shear number of them was enough to make me decide, “oh yeah, we’re done”. I can’t imagine a person finding that behavior acceptable. And I can’t help but think that not only do these people talk to each other in such a disgusting manner but they also probably talk about about the betrayed spouse in a derogatory manner. Probably talk about how crazy we are or how we suck in bed. That we are cold and not very affectionate. It’s a double whammy.

freeatlast
freeatlast
9 years ago

Now you made me laugh….Jane Goodall huh? that’s a good one

expatChump
expatChump
9 years ago

These f***tards are all alike. Mean any of them be original? When I get over being insulted about STBX assuming I’m an idiot, this shit will be so funny, just like Nora Ephron said.

expatChump
expatChump
9 years ago
Reply to  expatChump

*Can* any of them be original

freeatlast
freeatlast
9 years ago

Well you know all cheaters claim their wife never has sex with them or they are in an “open marriage”. I know mine did. I was so dumb I didn’t even know what that was when the OW told me….

Arnold
Arnold
9 years ago
Reply to  freeatlast

My wife never claimed her wife never had sex with her. I don’t think she even had a wife, but , perhaps she did, now that I think about it.
So , maybe she cheated on me because her wife never had sex with her. Is that what you mean?

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
9 years ago
Reply to  Arnold

Arnold, I’ve always assumed cheating women use the same old tired “sexless marriage” excuse just like cheating men.

Miss Sunshine
Miss Sunshine
9 years ago
Reply to  Arnold

The cheater women–they have their same stories, too. What is it? “He’s so cold! He’s so mean to me! We have nothing in common! He doesn’t get me!”

Tell us? Cause it’s not like they’re original, these shits.

ANC
ANC
9 years ago
Reply to  Miss Sunshine

Cheater OW in my situation claimed her husband was too old. She is 50. He is 60 something. Here’s where it gets good: she poached him from another marriage, his first, while she was a single OW. My god, they have spent their married life swinging with most of Orange County. She’s been stepping out on her marriage many many many times. All the while she flung it back in his face and he shrieked, “I don’t want to lose you!!!!!!!”. Who sucks worse? They are both cheaters living in their own cosmic karma hell. Mine will join them too.

expatChump
expatChump
9 years ago
Reply to  freeatlast

And that they’re only staying for the children.

rockstarwife
rockstarwife
9 years ago
Reply to  expatChump

Re ”I’m staying only for the kids” I heard that. If that were the case, then why did you (Cheater) spend the kids’ college tuition money on prostitutes? And where are those months of child support payments?

Chumpion
Chumpion
9 years ago

First off, as I have said before, I do not have enough middle fingers to flip at these self obsessed pieces of work (yeah…. “we” are working on our marriage)

I discovered my ex-wife’s affair by “mistakenly” reading her email after the I finally went from a gaslit chump to a full-out suspicious CSI investigator. I uncovered stomach turning “sexy” conversations like those texts except, thank goodness, without any pudding eatin’. Was pudding a Bill Cosby reference about drugging and rape fantasies later on? Who knows. Hey hey hey!

But seriously, the cloying sexxy lovey dovey stuff I read as I read through my cheater’s email account was almost the most traumatic moment of my life. There I was reading this at the same moment I realized the affair was indeed true. Ugh. To eavesdrop into two misguided people who are living in an artificial bubble of denial and bullshit is just stomach turning.

jobin
jobin
9 years ago
Reply to  Chumpion

Just wanted to add my voice of agreement Chumpion – I only read a few exchanges, even though I was finally holding her phone (which she had guarded like it held launch codes) in my hand. I used to wonder why I didn’t take the time to go through it when I had it. Now I think maybe my brain knew I was at my limit and couldn’t handle any more trauma right then, thanks….

As for ‘eat your pudding’ – my first thought was maybe he is a big Pink Floyd fan? “If yew dan’t eat yer meat, ye can’t have yer pudding!” (undoubtedly butchered that)

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago
Reply to  jobin

oh yes Jobin, my ex protected his cell like it was made of diamonds – like chumpion, I didn’t need it…

FreeWoman
FreeWoman
9 years ago
Reply to  Datdamwuf

My X’s affair was all around his iphone- started a few months after he got it, texting morning noon and night with his new ‘friend’ the neighbor. And I finally got his password, and there’s me, shaking like a leaf in the locked bathroom finally reading what was going on.
It really seemed to have that whole ” Nyah nyah, you can’t catch me!” Attitude that cheaters love.
It did make me wake up from my gaslit trance, to see how he was not who I wanted by my side for the rest of my life. I’m too mature for him!

Chumpita
Chumpita
9 years ago
Reply to  Chumpion

I agree Chumpion, reading this stuff was more traumatic than anything else. It is the moment when you realize that any “I love yous” cheater ever said or wrote were meaningless. You also begin to wonder in what else did he lie, how many OWs were there, was he EVER faithful…your life since cheater came into it becomes a complete messed up narrative. I think this is why it is so traumatic. The only good thing about reading their messages was that it kept me clear from doing any pick me dances and I was able to act stupid and negotiate (He didn´t know I had the messages). Once I got him to agree and sign on everything then I told him what I knew, and how I would never admire him again as I had and that no one we both knew would ever either. That hurt him more than anything….(if a narc can feel hurt at all…)

Chumpion
Chumpion
9 years ago
Reply to  Chumpita

Thank all of you for the insightful and empathetic responses my post about the trauma of learning about the affair via eavesdropping on stomach turning intimate electronic conversations. What a community this is and thank you so much (and thank you CL). We chumps do not throw around the term “trauma” haphazardly. I sincerely wish all of you the best and sorry you went through the awfulness too.

Chumpita: I was in the same boat, as absolutely awful as it was to read it, it was the truth and it lead me to opting for divorce within two months from my ex wife with a minimum of “pick me” nonsense. The emails also contained promises that the “soulmates” would spend the rest of their lives together: that was kind of a hope killer (and thank goodness) . My ex-wife is/was a charismatic hyper achieving narcissist and loved cake. Her partner was also a married self obsessed piece of work. I think she enjoyed the double life and would have extended it longer.

Nice work not revealing what you knew until the awesome reveal Chumpita. I am a tech person and I had actively hacked her email and had gotten her password. I did not tell her I had full access and told her she had left her email open and I had only gotten a glimpse. So good to know more than you let on. I was able to eavesdrop for a little while without her knowing. It was powerful knowledge to have that they stayed in touch even after she promised to break it off. Wow, it is mind blowing to think back on this; seeing those emails saved my bacon (this was three years ago) Maybe I’d still be in gaslight hell of I had not done that.

Seeing Daylight
Seeing Daylight
9 years ago
Reply to  Chumpion

I hear you, Chumpion. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I remember completely freezing in an odd mix of total hyper-vigilance and disbelief when I discovered the disgusting text messages on my STBXH’s phone. I also remember hearing my heartbeat in my ears. In other words, I was having a true, clinical, full blown trauma reaction (adrenalin flooding, fight-flight-freeze). I was witnessing the graphic death of my life as I had known it for decades and that which I thought was safe was destroyed in an instant. What a betrayal. I’m so thankful for others who understand and who lend us their voices as we work to recover.

violet
violet
9 years ago

You have just describes exactly how I felt when it all imploded. The life I knew and loved died the day my X’s affair was publicly exposed. I have made a new life, but I will always remember the trauma of that day.

Chumpette
Chumpette
9 years ago
Reply to  violet

Seeing Daylight and Violet…Me too.

Lyn
Lyn
9 years ago
Reply to  Chumpion

Chumpion, I’m so sorry you had to read that. When I discovered my ex’s journal I thought my heart was going to burst into flames and reduce me to ashes.

Syringa
Syringa
9 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

Ugh….I had to read that shit too. How my XH wrote in his email to Skank Woman how he kissed her and tasted her lip gloss ‘all day’ on his lips. Puke City. This is the fuck I took care of while he was ‘dying’ and had to sleep next to him with a chemo pump going off in my ears for months on end. I hate these people.

Lyn
Lyn
9 years ago

Until I saw Wolf of Wallstreet I had no idea that it was a turn on to suck stuff out of women’s asses. They were using cocaine but maybe they would have tried pudding if they’d known it was so sexy.

conniered
conniered
9 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

Oh my gosh. I just watched that movie too. It was like watching a disgusting train wreck and you just can’t look away. Can’t believe it was based on a true story. That guy wasn’t faithful a day in his life.

Kira
Kira
9 years ago

The thing that has struck me, like with the affair texts shown here, and texts Chumps have found and shared here or some of my IRL Chump friends, is how “put on” so much of them sound. Like they don’t sound like real, or like something real people would say, they frankly, sound like something out of an “adult” movie or some sort of 900-number. As CL said, we all have our special way of talking to lovers and our own kinks, I get that really.

A friend and I both enjoy romance novels (although since X, I’ve lost some of my love of them) but one thing we will do is send each other the bits of dialogue, especially in the love scenes, that if they were spoken IRL to us, would leave us either laughing or getting dressed and leaving. Stuff that was jarringly odd or funny or off-putting. They seem so fake or “put on” that it takes us out of the moment. And that’s the same feeling I get when reading these and other Affair texts. They smack of fake, illusion and trying too hard to be sexy, that they come all the way back around to weird and off-putting.

Wiser Finally
Wiser Finally
9 years ago
Reply to  Kira

Yes, there is something disgustingly creepy and disturbed about this exchange – like really bad porn film dialogue and about as (un)sexy. Not remotely like real human interactions – or am I just so naive and out-of-it that I don’t get what real sexual “sophistication” is all about?? Is this really what people write to each other? And they like it?????? I guess it’s par for the course in Cheaterland, but I don’t get it. At all. I remember the playful way my husband and I used to talk in bed during our happy years and little naughty notes we would leave each other but they didn’t have this “ew” factor. Sometimes I think evil gypsies stole me in my sleep and dumped me on a parallel planet because I cannot relate to any of this… No wonder I’m not doing very well meeting and keeping men interested in me if this kind of narcissistic drivel is what’s required. Writers of romantic poetry must be spinning in their graves. Ew, Ew, EWWW!

Regina
Regina
9 years ago
Reply to  Wiser Finally

OMG Syringa!! WOW-this is an adult male in the new world?? Truly shocking. And at your God Child’s funeral? Yeaccchhhh!

SheChump
SheChump
9 years ago
Reply to  Regina

I remember when video cameras on computers came out in ’97 or something. A guy actually masturbated in front of me and I watched it, almost puking the whole time, laughing even. A little fascinated that anybody would do that on a computer and think that women LIKE that? Did he think he was God? X did that enough to me that the last thing I wanted to see was some Weiner guy jacking off on my computer. Dicks are a dime a dozen out there – and it was such a total turn off to me, I quit everything related to shit like that. ewww factor = HUGE

Syringa
Syringa
9 years ago
Reply to  Wiser Finally

Wiser Finally…I met this guy a few years back and we decided to ‘take it to the next level’ this past summer and become boyfriend and girlfriend. That lasted about 6 weeks. He started bombarding me with pictures of his dick which I found absolutely disgusting and I completely ignored and I thought he would get the hint. The kicker? While I was at my God child’s funeral he sent me a video of him jacking off!!!!! . I broke up with him on the spot. I told him how disgusting and creepy and downright scary I thought he was. I even mentioned that my lying, cheating, piece of shit ex husband might be a better man. Than I blocked him from my phone and unfriended him on FB and went NC. Ewwwww. And gave up men again for awhile. I think they must watch too much porn now days. I was flabbergasted that he thought I was someone who’d think that kind of shit was okay. And I’d bet a hundred bucks the next woman he can snag he’ll do the same shit. Ick. Just icky.

TimeHeals
TimeHeals
9 years ago
Reply to  Kira

You mean “Miss you and all that goes with it. Especially my favorite tastes and colors … pink and brown.”
isn’t romantic poetry or even normal adult diaolog?

I used to think I was terrible at flirting, and then I read this. I have been too hard on myself.

DefyingGravity
DefyingGravity
9 years ago
Reply to  TimeHeals

I just find the pink and brown thing so nasty…wtf is that about! Again, we all have our own ways of talking to lovers, but yargh…too descriptive for my taste. How about “miss you and all that goes with it…especially my favorite textures, bumpy and hairy”. Yak!

Chump Princess
Chump Princess
9 years ago
Reply to  DefyingGravity

Let me edit this as to what I would say to him after looking at his picture – “I miss all that goes with it – particularly slipping my fingers into all of your crinkles, wrinkles and crevices.” Hell, I’m damn near 60 and he looks too old for me. I can’t imagine at 40 something that I would have found him at all appealing – one reason being that he was willing to cheat on his wife. My STBX always had texts of this kind during his two “major” affairs of which I am aware. Knowing his penchant for enjoying role playing (when indulging his S & M fetish), that’s what these cheater texts remind me of – an extension of some sexual fantasy life that they are indulging.

These people are all kinds of sick, wrong and grotesque. EWWWW and PEWWWW! I need a shower.

Lania
Lania
9 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

You gotta remember, cheaters aren’t discerning at all when it comes to taste.
They’ll happily fuck any dick or hole if its connected to someone with no morals or decency.

namedforvera
namedforvera
9 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

This stuff makes me think of the expression, “Brain bleach! Stat!!”

Srsly, gag me with a spoon.

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
9 years ago
Reply to  namedforvera

Forget the spoon. Gag me with a pitchfork!

LilyBart
LilyBart
9 years ago
Reply to  DefyingGravity

Ha ha. Perfect.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
9 years ago
Reply to  DefyingGravity

“How about “miss you and all that goes with it…especially my favorite textures, bumpy and hairy”. Yak!”

OMG, I almost choked on my tea!

LovedAJackass
LovedAJackass
9 years ago
Reply to  TimeHeals

Just goes to show that the great love affair they had was all about sex, the kinky kind, including the thrill of the cheating and secrecy. Their love was so special it unravelled over the price of a train ticket. Huh. All that shows me is that both cheaters were narcissists and the train ticket issue was really about “you aren’t the boss of me” and their individual insistence on being the person who gets the majority of the kibbles.

Regina
Regina
9 years ago
Reply to  LovedAJackass

The Pink & Brown Choo-Choo Train with the tasty pudding pouring out the caboose!! He is SO tired, but if he has the right attitude (I Think I Can, I Think I Can) he can get up that hill & be the Little Train Wreck that Could! (wreck a dozen lives, or more with gumption!)
These people are juvenile. Just pathetic.

Lania
Lania
9 years ago
Reply to  LovedAJackass

She felt she was entitled to more money (gold digger much? Oh wait….she feels shes entitled to everything on a silver platter)

Lizzy
Lizzy
9 years ago
Reply to  LovedAJackass

Exactly! Two narcs getting their supply – one from the younger woman the other from the famous older man. I wonder if it is possible for two narcs to be in a long-term relationship together… I’m guessing not.

Kira
Kira
9 years ago
Reply to  TimeHeals

Exactly. And everything she said to him, I can completely picture a bored phone operator saying as they are painting their nails, doing a little online shopping, etc. “Oh yeah, I’m really into it, baby!” Yawn.

In the first season of American Horror Story, which one of the main plotlines is the fallout from infidelity, the OW tells the wife, “He said the inside of my thigh tasted like raspberries” (or something to that effect, it was berry-related, LOL). And I laughed so hard at that bit of dialogue. What??? No. Please.

nomar
nomar
9 years ago

STEVE KROFT’S CREEPY AFFAIR, “BY THE NUMBERS”

23 Number of years Mr. Kroft has been married to journalist Jennet Conant

1 Number of sons Mr. Kroft has with his wife

3 Number of prestigious colleges and universities from which Mr. Kroft’s wife has earned degrees (Bryn Mawr, Haverford, and Columbia)

3 Number of books Mr. Kroft’s wife has had on the New York Times Best Seller list

1 Number of husbands Mr. Kroft’s affair partner, Lisan Goines, has.

69 Mr. Kroft’s age.

28 Number of years by which Mr. Kroft is older than Mrs. Goines

150+ Number of weeks the affair continued (3 years)

1 Number of U.S. Presidents Mr. Kroft has confronted on national television about THEIR infidelity (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IpJUfy-Roo )

1 Number of times Mr. Kroft has issued a written public statement asserting that HIS infidelity is “a private matter.”

1 Number of major motion pictures Mr. Kroft has appeared in directed by cheating pedophiles (“Small Time Crooks,” directed by Woody Allen)

1 Number of carbonated beverages Mr. Kroft has expressed a fondness for drinking out of Mrs. Goines’s rectum, via text message

16,000,000 Net worth of Mr. Kroft, who Mrs. Goines broke up with for being a cheapskate.

0 Number of times Mr. Kroft has publicly apologized to his wife or family for his affair and the humiliation it has caused.

Chump Princess
Chump Princess
9 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Nomar,

You are seriously going to have me starting a fan club for you! LOLOLOL!!! Excellent breakdown and takedown.

jaded61
jaded61
9 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

Awesome analysis

FoolMeTwice
FoolMeTwice
9 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Brilliant breakdown, Nomar. Thanks for that!

LovedAJackass
LovedAJackass
9 years ago
Reply to  nomar

nomar’s analysis: priceless

uneffingbelievable
uneffingbelievable
9 years ago

Dick, dick, dick, dick, dickity DICK !!!!

nomar
nomar
9 years ago

Also, the best dramatization EVER of two cheaters talking to each other:

http://soulmateshmoopies.wordpress.com/2010/11/06/part-1/

“Your dick is perfect.”

nomar
nomar
9 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Oh yeah. And the bona fide genius who made those cartoons? Banned from S.I.

tryinghard
tryinghard
9 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Will someone please clue me in to what SI is??

nomar
nomar
9 years ago
Reply to  tryinghard

Survivinginfidelity.com. A site that can be very helpful at times and with lots of good people posting there but which is run by some radical reconcilers.

UnderConstruction
UnderConstruction
9 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Yeah. That site and a few others helped me lose the past 10 yrs of my life and the possibility of my own kids. TI read their advice, tried reconciliation, he just cheated again several months ago. Thanks, SI!

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago

If I ever meet the assholes who wrote “Not Just Friends” or “My husband’s affair is the Best Thing…” I would tell them reading their books was the WORST fucking thing that ever happened to me. If not for the RIC tripe much of my ordeal might have been avoided.

The Reconciliation Industrial Complex (RIC) makes a ton of money off chumps. CL is one of the few voices standing up for the opposing view.

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  Datdamwuf

Dat–I haven’t read Not Just Friends, but one of the authors (Shirley Glass) had done a lot of research on cheaters, and was one of the first to promote (a) cheaters are not always unhappy in their marriage; they have a sense of entitlement; and (b) that the cheater needs to give full disclosure to the chump. I thus understood that the book might actually be useful for chumps.

Were there details or admonitions in it that are less friendly to chumps? (Curious, as I had thought about buying it.)

expatChump
expatChump
9 years ago
Reply to  Datdamwuf

I read My Husband’s Affair… and pretty much shook my head and the whole time and wrote in the the margins throughout the book, noting that the husband never really sounded remorseful (at least not to me) and seemed like an arrogant brat. The wife meanwhile spackles and pick me dances the entire book.
Not Just Friends has more credibility I think (even though I never finished it) since it was written by a well-respected couples counselor.

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  nomar

And for those who want to do more than just survive infidelity, and want to thrive afterwards instead, there’s ChumpLady.

tryinghard
tryinghard
9 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Oh yeah. I went there a couple times. Not so much :/ Thanks for the info

violet
violet
9 years ago
Reply to  tryinghard

I visited SI, but never posted. It has these weird “moderators”, who basically police the site. People can only say things on certain parts of it and get admonished for bad mouthing cheaters. I thinks that’s how people get kicked off. Founded by a couple after one of them had a years long affair. There is just this air of,”Be careful what you say”, which I find kind of overbearing and creepy. And the things some people post about doing to stay married is truly depressing. It just wasn’t what helped me get my bearing. If it is helpful to others, good on them. But why anyone who posts there should take offense at this site and its posters is downright puzzling to me.

Lizzy
Lizzy
9 years ago
Reply to  nomar

“…Our love is real.” HILARIOUS!!!

Hesatthecurb
Hesatthecurb
9 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Nomar–thank you thank you thank you for posting the Smoopies animation link! I just spent about an hour in soul lifting laughter! My favorite ones are ‘my wife has a potty mouth’. ‘nobody goes to Greenland’ and ‘kumbya’. Fellow Chumps, check it out. I now have to vacuum the dog hair off my clothes cos I was rolling on the floor in fits of laughter.

namedforvera
namedforvera
9 years ago
Reply to  Hesatthecurb

Ex-wife.

Hesatthecurb
Hesatthecurb
9 years ago
Reply to  namedforvera

nfv–lol, you are correct! Just as OW smoopie stridently corrects WH smoopie for repeatedly referring to his ex wife as ‘wife’; I made the same faux pas….I know that your correction of me was all in fun–hugs!

namedforvera
namedforvera
9 years ago
Reply to  Hesatthecurb

pre-zectly…needs to be read in that deadpan voice they use…Schmoopie always says, “Ex wife” every time cheater say , “my wife”. It’s hilarious…

uneffingbelievable
uneffingbelievable
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Ewwww. There is something so twisted and disgusting in the use of ‘pudding’. I’m going to take a shower now.

Roberta
Roberta
9 years ago

I had the misfortune to read the sexting between my aging husband and his married paramour and I kept asking myself “who the Hell is this guy?”. I also read a so-called poem he wrote to his fuck buddy from Facebook and it was very childish, but so telling! He kept going on and on about how she made him “feel” young, but our 7 year old grandson could have written something better! I look back now and want to laugh, but it is truly pitiful! And worse yet, this woman ended up divorced and all for an aging idiot! It’s going to be ugly when the “honeymoon” ends!
These idiots say the dumbest shit and the amazing thing is the other one eats that drivel up! Unreal!

kimmy
kimmy
9 years ago

I was unlucky enough to have read some of the text message between my exhusband and the OW. Yes…..they were painful, explicit and horrific to read. Yes…..they both spoke badly about me and her husband. I think we can all safely assume the same thing occurs in all affairs.

Unfortunately, I think the advances in technology make it that much easier to conduct affairs. But it also makes it easier to prove them!!!!!

All cheaters make my blood boil and my stomach turn. These classless and morally corrupt people will one day meet their match and experience the pain. That’s my go to when I read shit like this!!!

Buddy
Buddy
9 years ago
Reply to  kimmy

I think you are all missing the point. Your cheater has finally found his or her “true love” a love truer and deeper than us chumps are capable of experiencing. When a cheater is willing to wait a thousand lives for the AP and is sending photos of villas in the South of France, and extracting meaningful lyrics from Joni Mitchell and Christina Perri songs, it means they have reached the pinnacle of ultimate passion and courageous vulnerability. Then, and only then, has one earned the supreme right to text “Would rather be eating your pudding” to another.

Unfortunately, in all seriousness, I was privy to the same “i want to eat your ass” crap.

kb
kb
9 years ago
Reply to  Buddy

I have no idea who started sexting first, but I know that STBX and OWorker were sexting at work–talk about a high risk activity!

Anyway, I know that OW liked sending him naughty pictures, and I read some messages she sent while she was getting drunk at some cheap Chinese dive that suggested he liked sending her pictures of him jacking off. This explained why he spent so damn long in the bathroom before he even ran the shower!

I don’t see the appeal, myself. I’m no prude, and I do like men, but random pictures of erect dick just don’t do it for me. I can go to the art museum and see beautiful naked men, and a very funny erotic art exhibit! That’s way more entertaining!

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
9 years ago
Reply to  kb

I know right kb?

nic
nic
9 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

The pics are too unprofessional to be sexy. No evidence of a day at the spa to show care of waxing and manscaping, no Glamour Shots. Amateur hour.

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  Buddy

Not everyone’s situation is the same, Buddy. The vast majority of cheaters do NOT go on to marry their schmoopie (<10%). Some cheaters find their twu wuv, others cycle through multiple twu wuvs, some come back to their chumps and claim we were the love of their lives.

And really, how much "true" love can be had with a person willing to make decision after decision, day by day, to deceive their life partner, engage in illicit acts with another, and put their children at risk of a broken home? I'll pass.

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
9 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

I do believe that Buddy is being quite sarcastic. I’m kind of an expert.

Buddy
Buddy
9 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

/sarcasm 100% off/ :: cheaterssuck is correct.

In most cases, I think both parties have significant narcissistic qualities and feed off each other with all the “truest love ever” bullshit, combined with ass-licking desires to show how vulnerable they are. But in the end, it is all an unsustainable crock of shit, and burns out in some fiery fashion after having wreaked havoc on innocent lives. But at least the victims now know the truth and can react accordingly. The cheaters are the one’s who are at their core somehow afraid of intimacy and vulnerability. They are sad and broken and pathetic and downright stupid – I’m not sure why they think a fantasy with a fellow broken narcissist is truer or more courageous than being open and vulnerable, and, god forbid, intimate with their spouse? They fail Intelligence Test 101.

After I posted the above sarcasm, I realized it was unnecessary since Nomar already posted the link to the “Your dick is perfect” cartoon which captures what I was trying to convey far more effectively.

In the end, it is all pretty sad. I didn’t mean to marry a pathetic broken creature, but hopefully next time, I’ll choose better. I think we do them a BIG favor by divorcing them – 2×4 over head is probably the only hope for these people. At least now they have a chance to address their wounds (although most probably don’t).

When I wax poetically like this, that is when my best friend or therapist interrupts me and says, “there you go again, considering the feelings of your wife, wondering about her issues. What about you? What are you doing to take care of yourself? How are you trying to do what is right for you without immediately considering the impact on her.”

this is hard

ANC
ANC
9 years ago
Reply to  Buddy

Thank you.

Miss Sunshine
Miss Sunshine
9 years ago
Reply to  Buddy

This is hard. It makes you better.

Roberta
Roberta
9 years ago
Reply to  kimmy

Kimmy, This! I’m right there with you!

Hesatthecurb
Hesatthecurb
9 years ago