Most Pathetic Play for Kibbles?

mindfuckchannelBWSo lately we’ve been discussing all the ways cheaters lose their shit when they realize their precious kibble supply is dwindling. Narcissistic rage, self pity, charm (the three channels). But today I was wondering, what’s the most pathetic play for kibbles you’ve received?

I know it’s probably hard to choose. Thinking of examples on this blog, there was the cheater who after the divorce wanted to know if he could live in his ex-chump’s basement? He even offered to pay rent!

There are, of course, the legions of cheaters who wish to “remain friends” and fail to understand your “bitterness.” Mine wanted to file taxes jointly as he held up the divorce. (Hey, you’re leaving me, but why not give me a break on my taxable income? Be a love.)

It’s so sad when the kibble well runs dry. Sometimes those cheaters have to mine new sources and renew the old. But never deprive them of their life force of kibbles!

So, my wiser now, once kibble-dispensing chumps — how did your cheater circle back?

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VeniVidiVerily
VeniVidiVerily
8 years ago

He calls it “bitterness”, I call it “experience”.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  VeniVidiVerily

I call it an intelligent response to having an emotional machete buried in your back.

deepbreaths
deepbreaths
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Excellent Tempest! Mine tried out the love bombing again but his heart just wasn’t in it this time … Or maybe I just didn’t have blinders on anymore lol. Anyway, he went all “Your irreplaceable, please believe in me again, you make me a better man, let’s try again, blah blah blah.” I said, yea, but you’re still the online dating sites looking for someone new (I was bluffing, or so I thought). And he flew into the narc rage on a dime; flipped the script just like that, and I went from being “irreplaceable” to a “diminishing beauty, a bitter shriveled up old hag” etc etc.
two words: no contact … the only words that never hurt lol

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  deepbreaths

Wow, deepbreaths. 0 to 60 in one second; your narc’s charm-to-rage channels are on speed-cycle.

Trusting
Trusting
8 years ago
Reply to  VeniVidiVerily

Yes!

Divorce Minister
Divorce Minister
8 years ago

Mine wanted to meet up over a year afyer the divorce to discuss “what happened” between us. I told her I wasn’t confused. She committed adultery and divorced me. Then I wished her the best sorting that out with God. Really pissed her off!

KibbleFree_MightyFree
KibbleFree_MightyFree
8 years ago

Perfect, DM. Love that!

ken_doll
ken_doll
8 years ago

Awesome!

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago

My new motto: “Affairs are God’s way of weeding the assholes out of your life.” I read that on a FB post the other day….very powerful!

Red
Red
8 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

LOVE this! LOL!

Jam lady
Jam lady
8 years ago
Reply to  Red

I saw this on FB the other day and had a good laugh … “Don’t make excuses for nasty people. You can’t put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase!”

fully trust that he sucks
fully trust that he sucks
8 years ago
Reply to  Red

I said that when my son was diagnosed with autism 10 years ago. That weeded out many people. My serial cheating asshole weeded out the rest of the narcissists who wanted to revel in being goof to “my retarded kid” because autism is fashionable now. Guess those idiots have too much retard now in understanding father of the year was actually sucking strange dicks on business trips and fucking sluts upstairs from my autistic son.

startofsomethingood
startofsomethingood
8 years ago

Love it, DM!!!

chump-ness
chump-ness
8 years ago

My stbx tried to regain kibbles in lots of small ways. My best example was when he left me to do all the paperwork to sell our house… I finally got him to sign the contract of sale, clung to me crying and said ‘but she’s nothing like you!’. Yeah:you think? Mostly though he refused to do any paperwork or take any responsibility for anything to do with splitting assets or divorce because ‘it made him sad’, ‘he wasn’t good at it’ or was too ‘ruined’. Give me a break. I must admit I did dispense kibbles at some points in order to make things easier for me, but always had a laugh about it afterwards. Thank god we didn’t have kids… I shudder to think how he would have dealt with them. It’s almost unbelievable how irresponsible my stbx has become after the fact.

renee62
renee62
8 years ago
Reply to  chump-ness

Your X (& I think most if ours ) was always irresponsible. You either covered for it with your abilities or you were blind to it because you were in love. But we can see clearly now. Most of these deadbeats hook up with smart, efficient, pro-active partners to make up for the qualities that they lack. The whores that they choose over us can never fill our shoes. They deserve each other!

NoMoreNarcs
NoMoreNarcs
8 years ago
Reply to  renee62

Amen!!

Hesatthecurb
Hesatthecurb
8 years ago
Reply to  renee62

renee62—you gave a perfect description of the XBF. Perfect.

He cannot recreate what he had with me no matter how hard he tries–and no whore can fill my size 6.5 “Choos”.

I’ll be back later to reminisce about epic fail feeble kibble grasps….

WhatJustHappened
WhatJustHappened
8 years ago
Reply to  renee62

Amen!

stuntchump
stuntchump
8 years ago

Ha!

My STBX (signing final papers a week from tomorrow!) actually had the gall to say to me “She is a lot like you. She is much more on top of these things than I am”

By his classification system we are similar — in some categories of our usefulness to him and his need to avoid being an adult as much as possible. It’s no wonder he is chomping at the bit to introduce the kids, so he can offload some of that work (because she is “good with children”– presumably when she isn’t threatening to commit suicide if she doesn’t get what she wants.)

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
8 years ago
Reply to  stuntchump

I get ya Stuntchump, Saddam picked a woman who looked like a poor imitation of me and was a rescuer. What he failed to take into account was me catching him. So he picked a teacher who couldn’t support him in the style to which he was accustomed and who has so many foo issues of her own she can’t keep him from fucking up. In other words, they enable each other rather poorly.

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
8 years ago
Reply to  Datdamwuf

And I can’t wait, so congrats on your divorce ahead of time!

hopefloats
hopefloats
8 years ago

My STXHB called me last week so I could explain our son’s baseball schedule to him. He said he didn’t understand it because he isn’t as smart as me. The schedule is seriously a list of teams and what field they play and when. His whore could have read it to him.

KibbleFree_MightyMe
KibbleFree_MightyMe
8 years ago
Reply to  hopefloats

HopeFloats – I was EXACTLY like you for a nanosecond. But chick, it’s not your job to see that he can read schedules or that he gets to your child’s activities on time and at the right place. F-that!!

I made a Google Drive account, and that is where everything is organizaed in folders that I control, and that he has full access to by phone, tablet or desktop. This is the only way I communicate these items to him, and will remain that way for the next three years until my daughter turns 18. I have the folders by school year for calendars, and by calendar year for my daughter’s additional expenses, of which he is required to pay half.

Any time my daughter gets a list of sports dates/times/venues, or band dates/times/venues, I take a photo of it with my phone or iPad, open the app, and drop the photo inside the folder for the current school year.

“Awwwww – but I thought you’d make calendar events for me like you used to,” the douchebag said.

It cannot be said that I don’t make the info available. If he wants “reminders” and someone to wipe his ass, since I’m not his PR agent anymore, he’ll have to do it himself now, and key those hundereds of calendar events himself. Since he’s too fucking lazy to do that (takes time away from kibble-whoring and self-love), he’s missed most of her sporting events, and band event. It’s fine with us b/c he’s an embarrassment.

Again…F-THAT. How is it that we can manage to decipher basic date/time/field# calendars?? It’s because those fuckers don’t care enough to ENGAGE.

I’m encouraging you to stop doing more than giving him a copy, then walking away. Check out the Google drive.

ByeByeCheater
ByeByeCheater
8 years ago

Kibble Free, awesome!! I did all of that too for my STBX be not after we separated. Our daughter was 6 months shy of 18 when we had our visitation hearing. He never asked for any level of custody of our daughter but he specifically asked that I set up and maintain a shared calendar so he would know when things were going on. I looked him square in the eye and refused. Then he suggested that our daughter maintain it for him and I again said absolutely not. The mediator never flinched and we moved on to the next topic.

When we were together, I kept all that information in a shared calendar that he refused to connect to because he wanted me to be his secretary and inform him of everything. KMA, KMA – not my circus anymore.

KibbleFree_MightyMe
KibbleFree_MightyMe
8 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

Hey BBC – you & your daughter are SO lucky that it was only a few months of additional crap you HAD to put up with. When we had the first temp hearing, he had abandoned us for 6 mos. The judge told me to keep a shared calendar, which REALLY pissed me off. I even said, “I’m happy to give him Xerox copies of all of her calendars, exactly the way I receive them, but I do not feel that I should be made to enter all these hundreds of items into a calendar to babysit him.” That pisseed HER off, and she goes, “Look – you don’t get it. I’m trying to help you. If you keep this digital calendar, you’re giving him the opportunity to fail.” He was standing right there, but the judge knew his deal. Especially after having to admit he was living with his married whore-worker and abandoned. After the divorce was final in Dec., you can bet I stopped entering ANYTHING to that online calendar. It wasn’t in the decree that I had to anymore. That’s why I did the Google Drive. Just take a pic, put it in the right folder, and move on. You can bet I enter all that stuff into my personal digital calendar for ME and for my daughter, but he can screw off.

My daughter has three years to go that she’s being forced to see/interact with this moron. The ONLY good thing is that since he – literally – abandoned us (she was 13 at the time), she has ZERO overnight visits with him. And “uncle dad dates” are also based on her activities and her personal wishes.

I really feel that being forced to see him is emotional abuse based on how she feels about him, but we’ll comply as long as we have to. These visits are ONLY to make him feel somewhat better about himself, b/c it’s doing nothing for her. She is learning that she actually has a lot to say about weather she sees him or not, and b/c she’s in high school, and very involved, it’s saving her from having to see him as much.

(((hugs to you, girl)))

ByeByeCheater
ByeByeCheater
8 years ago

oh no, hugs to you!! You and your daughter have to deal with it much longer than I did.

My daughter was 16 when we split but I didn’t file until a year later (state law and fake reconciliation period). From the time we split, I let them schedule their own time together and never got in the way of it. It was the best thing I ever did next to kicking him out. Initially she was all about spending time with him, overnights, etc. which was hard for me. But the luster wore off quickly. These days, she has lunch with him on Sundays and that’s about it. She uses his gym membership but only when he’s at work because he critiques her workouts which drives her crazy. She’s an athlete and will play in college so she has specific workout routines to follow.

Fortunately for me, again, he didn’t ask for custody or any type of visitation schedule since I have no issue with open access between them. Unfortunately for him, his narc qualities are driving her away. She has a car so she goes to see him. He’s made a few attempts to ‘pick her up’ so he can come here but she knows by now that I don’t want that so she tells him no.

Hang in there Kibble Free…my heart goes out to you and your daughter but I’m glad the time for forced visitation is getting shorter for you guys.

ca-chump
ca-chump
8 years ago
Reply to  hopefloats

What is it with the inability to understand schedules or follow directions? Mine would spaz out at the most simple things. Like my kid’s hockey schedule which is very clear like your baseball one. Travel itineraries were next to impossible. Then there is the inability to follow directions for cooking, cleaning, fixing things. The guy has two graduate degrees for cryin out loud.

ChumpFromF
ChumpFromF
8 years ago
Reply to  ca-chump

It is called laziness.
If an opportunity arises, where the skill is an advantage to get some ass, all of a sudden he will be good at it. I experienced the phenomenon.

NCStevie
NCStevie
8 years ago
Reply to  ChumpFromF

^^^THIS^^^ Absolutely!! “where the skill is an advantage to get some ass, all of a sudden he will be good at it.” Amazing when you start realizing what their priorities REALLY are… in my case it isn’t our son…. although he puts on a good ACT. Idiot always asking me if the boy has a game….. I actually put our son’s game schedule on a spread sheet with the day of the week, date of the game, which park, field, AND team we are playing….. and I get… “does he have a game tomorrow night??” Seriously!!?? SMDH… if it was something about one of the ho’s he is chasing he would NEVER forget! Asshole.

Hope you all have been well…. been busy lately so I haven’t commented much…. but always reading and checking in. Hugs to my fellow chumps!!

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward
8 years ago
Reply to  ca-chump

// , Human memory largely is ingrained with emotional attachment and values.

Someone who doesn’t value snails will not remember snails, etc.

Someone who values toroid expulsion patterns will remember toroid expulsion patterns.

Moving Liquid
Moving Liquid
8 years ago
Reply to  hopefloats

LOL. I met my husband last week at a notary the other day and he (once again) paid little attention to my directions so when he finally showed up he asked me not to give him a hard time, that he didn’t feel well. He’s a hypochondriac so as we were leaving he said, “When you lie on your side does your arm go numb?” I said, “Sometimes.” Then I added, “It’s normal.” Because I know how his mind works.

He said, “It’s not normal for me.”

I looked at him and said, “Your girlfriend’s a nurse or something, right? I’m sure she can massage it out for you. I don’t want to hear about your aches and pains any more.”

The very idea that he thinks I could give a shit, or want to help make him feel better is pretty appalling to me. It comes down to the fact that he knows I’m a decent person, but I shut that request for kibbles down and drove away.

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
8 years ago
Reply to  Moving Liquid

Well done ML!

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Moving Liquid

ML–you should have told him that a numb arm is the sign of serious terminal heart disease. Could have kept him worrying for weeks! And imagine how much nonsense HA would have had to listen to for those weeks!

CalamityJane
CalamityJane
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Ha ha ha ha ha…..Well done ML but I think I would have gone with the serious heart problem ha ha h ah ah haaa

CalamityJane
CalamityJane
8 years ago
Reply to  CalamityJane

ha ha ha ha or erectile disfunction ha h ah ha ha

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

// , One word. Embolism.

Chumpette
Chumpette
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

or say…it is the precursor to permanent erectile dysfunction lol

Dodged-a-Bullet
Dodged-a-Bullet
8 years ago

We both got cellphones shortly after D-Day. Had always been too cheap before, but I wanted greater connectivity with friends as a single person. My first husband suggested that we join forces to get the Verizon family plan. Why on earth would we sign a two-year consumer contract together just as we’re filing for divorce?! When I told him that was nuts, he replied, “This offer won’t be on the table for long.” WTF.

ChocLemonGelato
ChocLemonGelato
8 years ago

Soooo many ways. I’m in Australia. He decided to announce that “he couldn’t do THIS any more” (i.e. wanted to be with another woman) about a year ago. I had three kids aged five and under, and after the smack in the face shock discipated, I began researching the process of undergoing mediation regarding split time parenting our kids. At that time, he asked me to explain how “all of that stuff works”. He’d hardly had a minute to himself, what? Poor sausage. Between training at his gym with OW, working all those long hours and trying to spend time at OW’s house…he had not a moment to figure out how the rest of his life being a father to three small children might rate on his list of priorities.

Another later comment; “I thought that I was a good husband.”

mgirontree
mgirontree
8 years ago

Mine STBX said, “Cheating made me a better husband.” He said this while we were in couples counseling. The therapist had a hard time controlling his facial expression!!! It was comical!

Sarah
Sarah
6 years ago
Reply to  mgirontree

OMG. I know I’m late in reading this but it is SOOOO damn helpful to know others have experienced the same crazy making. My ex said he and his mistress (also married with 3 kids, sunday school teacher, ethics professor – such an angel!) thought cheating would help their marriages. I just looked at him like he was the biggest idiot on the plant, which he is.

Now I only communicate with him in writing and won’t let him on our property. He recently called me “childish” for not speaking with him and I almost responded. SO glad I didn’t. Not giving fuel back makes him nuts. That’s the stand I take now – He’s just not important enough for me to give any energy to unless scheduling visitation for my daughter. I keep that as short as possible too.

NoWire
NoWire
8 years ago

I’ve heard “I JUST CAN”T DO THIS ANYMORE!” very dramatically before too. Last time was when my 7 year old spilled a can of vegetables that was on the top shelf of the fridge onto the floor. Um. Okay. So Don’t. That phrase just pisses me the hell off. It’s only second to “The heart wants what it wants!” You mean your weiner wants what it wants.

Einstein
Einstein
8 years ago
Reply to  NoWire

Weiner, indeed! They don’t have hearts.

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward
8 years ago

// ,

“I thought that I was a good husband.”

“I guess that makes two of us mistaken, then.”

OutWest
OutWest
8 years ago

horrible husband, not a great father….we will see as time passes but I’m not holding my breath!

Survivor
Survivor
8 years ago

“What made you think that?”

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago

AC–you are on a roll today!

PlainChump
PlainChump
8 years ago

LOL ChocLemonGelato…cheating ex thought it was going to be easy with three kids under five, the OW and her daughter (almost a teen)…I don’t know how it’s going “over there” but sometimes I enjoy thinking/seeing some “frustration” from his part…

Trusting
Trusting
8 years ago

Yep, you were a good husband the same way Suzy was a good babysitter until that time she drowned the baby.

Mighty Mite
Mighty Mite
8 years ago
Reply to  Trusting

Giggling….

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago

POS: “Would you like me to drop off your mail?”
Me: “Sure – just put it inside the door”
Asswipe: “You aren’t home? When will you be back?”
Me: “Late”
Dumbass: “Looks like your son already grabbed the mail. Would you like me to stop and say ‘hi’?”
Me: No response

3 hours pass..
Jackass: “I have ribs in the oven, would you like to stop for dinner?”
Me: “Not hungry.”
Fuckface: “Would you like to stop for a drink?”
Me: “NO”
Assface: “Ok – I was just trying to be nice and see how you were doing.”
Me: No response

2 hours pass..
Dumbshit: “Can we at least be friends?”
Me: “I don’t care to have a ‘friend’ who lies, deceives, and betrays me, so nope.”

PattyO
PattyO
8 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

My ex after he told me he needed to be on his own to find his happiness because he was depressed. ( not knowing about OW yet.)
My Jackass says: I thought we could go out to dinner.
Me: you just told me you needed to be on your own.
My Jackass says: But I thought we could still be friends.
Me: We have been married for 33 years and now you want to be just friends?
After I found out about other woman is was different he would say: I deserve to be happy. I deserve this relationship. Why do you have to be so mean? You have an anger problem. I was suppose to be nice when he had been cheating and lying for a long time. I called him a lying, cheating, coward. Coward because he couldn’t even tell me about his affair other than in an e-mail. My therapist told me that I told him the truth he did lie, he did cheat and he was and is a coward. I liked she said that. What is it with these guys? They cause so much pain and then still think friends are possible. I hope he is miserable and she is a complete nag to him. That is what he deserves. I can only hope.

KYgal
KYgal
6 years ago
Reply to  PattyO

OMG. My ex said he “deserved to be happy” so he had an affair, and also “deserved a decent standard of living” so he cut child support in half AFTER receiving a $12K annual raise. Un-Fing believable.

He also was “scared” of me because I yelled at him for two days after I found out about the hellaciously long affair. Poor little guy. And I mean LITTLE. Then when I told him I had gone to see an attorney, he ran out of the house yelling “I can’t trust you!!!” Really?

He also gave a pity party for himself with a kind friend talking about how devastated he was that his first wife cheated on him FIFTEEN years ago. His friend found out this was WHILE he was having his own affair. His friends are dropping like flies. It’s awesome. I don’t have to do a thing but keep my mouth shut. He’s such an idiot.

The irony is lost on all these jerks. And my ex studies irony for research as a professor! It’s hilarious.

Thankful
Thankful
8 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

Sitting in the oncology clinic about to read your post when my XPOS walks in all smiles, drops a bag of clothes he insisted our girls leave with him on the weekend to wash, is very amicable today so that makes him just above cold stone frozen. Then I read your post. Laughed my ass off. Thank you it has set an excellent mood.

NoWire
NoWire
8 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

yep. let’s be friends with a hissing viper. um, no

ringinonmyownbell
ringinonmyownbell
8 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

I think we need to have a prize for the best non kibble dispensing dialog while keeping your cool and dignity. First it will give some of us more cowardly chumps the vocabulary to deal with this shit and 2) Some of these are hilarious and so spot on. LadyStrange, you are definitely in the running for first prize.

ChocLemonGelato
ChocLemonGelato
8 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

^^ This. “I thought that you said that one day, that we could be friends. I sincerely believe that it won’t happen in the future if you don’t weave it into your present…” or some shit like that.

Friends with one who betrays? I think not.

Fireball
Fireball
8 years ago

LadyStrange….awesome 🙂 I couldn’t quit laughing.

kar marie
kar marie
8 years ago

Exactly who the hell wants to be friends with some one who stuck a knife in your back and enjoyed twisting and turning it day after day and then looks at you teary eyed and says I can’t imagine you not being in my life somehow we can still be good friends right?! At that point I was numb but I fell off the chair in hysterical laughter after which he started laughing and then proceeds to tell me THE WHORE wants to become good close friends with me! Tells me me and her are so much alike. Well no…. I don’t go after married men and hurt their wives for no reason other than my own evil self interest! I relasped into another bout of laughter he laughs again big fat smile on his ugly face. After I wiped off my laugh tears I gave the wtf look and said no you stopped being my friend the moment you went off with her. Friends real ones don’t lie, cheat, stick knives in their wives and children and fuck them over without a second thought and yeah woman like her who likes to sleep only with a committed man and wreck homes and hurt me when I don’t even know her yeah she would make a great friend. She buys love loyalty and friendship the piece of shit. She is allowed no where near me my house or mine. Remain good friends hmmmpf had a good laugh at that one. I guess they figure they get kibbles forever. Assholes!!!!

OutWest
OutWest
8 years ago
Reply to  kar marie

We had a “friend” convo a couple years ago and I remember distinctly telling him “I expect way more from my friends, than what you are offering”.

unicornomore
unicornomore
8 years ago

I look forward to reading the responses because as a truly supportive unicorn, I never stopped handing out kibbles, I spewed them like a broken gumball machine

except

that during our marriage, I was compliant and did what I was told…he was active duty military and when Uncle Sam told us to move, I packed and moved.

until I discovered his OW

During the shitstorm of the speech, the blame, discovery…he was picking the first job he would do after the military and he took the cool one that everyone would envy…3000 miles away. He got out there and decided one day that he wanted his family around so he called and told me to sell the house, pull the kids from school (one was a senior) , quit my job and move there so that we could buy the $900,000 house he wanted to risk every dollar we had on.

“no”

“No? a good wife would be here already” “If you don’t come I will divorce you”

“No, this is where you left us, if you want us back, you come here. If you don’t love me enough to be married to me here then you don’t love me enough, so no”

I had never said no in all those years…and his response was “You don’t cope very well, if one of our children died, I don’t think you would handle it well”.

Yes folks, I was the broken one, yea.

He did eventually return home for our wreconcilliation, but he whined and griped about living here to his last breath. He forgot that he chose this city and home in the first place and we didnt move because he destroyed our family but he managed to blame me every day. He would say “you make me live in this godforsaken hell hole of horror” as I got stronger, I gently said “this is a nice place to live, he hell hole of horror is between your ears”.

FoolMeTwice
FoolMeTwice
8 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Wait, what? That’s some kinda non-sequitur there. You refuse to move (rightly so), and suddenly he’s hypothesizing about how you’d react if one of your kids died? What a sick fuck!

GreenGirl
GreenGirl
8 years ago
Reply to  FoolMeTwice

Pretty much what every kid says when their parents won’t let them do something or won’t buy something for them. “If I died you would feel sorry. You’d wish you’d bought me X or let me do Y.”

Moving Liquid
Moving Liquid
8 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Unicornnomore, my husband is miserable wherever he is too. He’s always blaming his problems on the country or town we’re in, or my family or his family, or the weather, or the government but never taking any responsibility for anything.

I am sooooo eager for him to leave this town he claims to hate so much. But I fear he will have a family with Heather Whore Ann and be stuck here. At least it will give him plenty to whine about.

But the bottom line with these blameless cheaters is: wherever they go, there they are. We all see that, but they never will.

bepositive
bepositive
8 years ago
Reply to  Moving Liquid

It took me 32 years to understand that he’s miserable wherever he is. I caused him to cheat when I refused to move from a job I loved and a community that I have come to enjoy. We moved 10 times in 20 years because he always wanted a “better” job. Now he can move out of my house and into hers in a different town.

Donna
Donna
8 years ago
Reply to  bepositive

BePositive

Misery loves company. For the past five weeks X was testing the waters engaging the adult children in conversations to determine if he could text me to answer questions he had regarding the divorce agreement. I was firm with letting them know I want no contact. X then called my lawyer for information. She told him to consult his own attorney. X had to pay a lawyer to send a letter. Next X hinted to my son that I could have the grill left at my daughters. I told my son I could afford my own and didn’t need anything from X. Next X offered to drop off granddaughter at the boat to see me when I was at the cottage. I let her know I would handle the arrangements and didn’t need X’s services. No more kibbles enraged the narc and suddenly X called the police and listed ridiculous injustices he had suffered over the past 11 months. X then sent a threatening text. X is stupid. There is nothing more pathetic than an aging narcissist with two shrunken heads. I’m assuming all is not well in cheater hell. Funny shit.

Gypsy57
Gypsy57
8 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Ha! “WRECK”-oncilliation” !! LOVE it!!

TheMuse
TheMuse
8 years ago

On the night of D-Day after much discussion I told Cheater he had to leave our home, since he had refused to do anything to try to save our relationship, and said that he wouldn’t stop seeing OW (actually what he said was, among other insane stupid narcissist things, “I couldn’t tell you about her! I needed to make sure it was a sure thing with her first!” and when at one point I begged him to stay with me until he worked this out of his system, he said, “No, Muse, that would never work; I already ran the Sharing Idea by her, and she won’t go for that.” My head was spinning, wait? “the” Sharing Idea? That’s an actual thing? why wasn’t I asked?

He asked if he could live in the guest room and use the side door to come and go. When I told him no, that if he wasn’t going to choose me over OW, he had to leave and move out immediately, he said, “Well, I have a date with her for tomorrow night. Can I least come back after work to shower and change my clothes? She’s going away for a few days and I need to say goodbye to her.” I was supposed to feel touched, I suppose, by how caring he was (towards her). If I hadn’t gotten suspicious of his weird excuses for “working late” and checked the cell phone account online, I would have been sitting home with his dinner ready on the table for him that next night while they were on their special goodbye date. He would have come home, complained how stressful his workday was, waiting till I wasn’t watching then whipped out the cell phone I was paying for him to have, and texted her for the 50th time.

Not surprising that 6 months after D-Day I found evidence of the serial cheating. These people are freaks. This is how they live. They will do it for as long as they can get away with it, then find a new source of sustenance so they can do it all over again. So relieved and glad he’s out of my life and I’m not his kibble supply anymore.

Einstein
Einstein
8 years ago
Reply to  TheMuse

Sounds brutally familiar.

bostonirisher
bostonirisher
8 years ago
Reply to  TheMuse

After I begged him not to go see his French OW again, he came back home. I said why didn’t you stay in France? He actually said to me: “Because I love my country too much.” What? I thought she was your soulmate. They are aliens!

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  bostonirisher

Read, “French OW ditched me.”

kar marie
kar marie
8 years ago

In the beginning when I confronted him he treated me like absolute shit. Informed me of everything wrong with me which was what he loved about me in the first place sigh! Name calling, mean and nasty, saying vile hurtful things all he could do to justify his actions. Fast forward six months he changed again, way nicer and kinder he now knew what the whore was like. Ha! Fast forward another six months still going home to the whore but now can’t do enough for me, up my ass with kindness, ha! Once I turned my attitude and starting treating him so callously and without concern he amped up his care. Me I’m taking it for now he moved me away from all friends And family so except for the phone I’ve no one local. Little minor kibbles from me very little is helping me line up the ducks. He can’t let go. Now the set up is for my benefit as soon as I reduced kibbles to near nothing and treated him they way he treated me all changed. Now he is kibbling. End if the year I’m gone and done. Kibbles and good wife gone!!!!!!!!!

thensome
thensome
8 years ago

Mine threatened to take full custody of our daughter. Didn’t happen but he wanted 50-50. Then quickly inserted his new girlfriend to attend to after school duties like pick up because cheater couldn’t get there.

Now?

Asked me if I’d be ok to do pick up and drop off because “don’t you want to do what’s best for our daughter?”

Right.

Portia
Portia
8 years ago
Reply to  thensome

Personally, I believe arguments over custody are usually arguments over how much will be paid in child support and who gets the income tax deduction, and child credit. Whoever is the primary care giver in the marriage usually remains the primary care giver. One spouse may have a job which requires a great deal of travel. How do you care for the daily, sometimes hourly needs of children if you have to travel or have a long commute, or irregular work hours? I also think the arguments are meant to terrify you and possibly “punish” you. If you look at the needs of the children, and consider what their “normal” routine is, and if you really love and care for your children, you will put their needs first, and you will try not to disrupt their life any more than necessary.

If you are married to a selfish disordered person, and if they have been spending a great deal of time cheating, they probably have not been attentive to the children anyway. It is fairly easy to collect and present evidence about who is doing the “work” of raising the children. The court may be indifferent about who cheated, but it is usually not indifferent about what is best for the children.

I read court documents nearly everyday in my work with regard to child custody and child support. Some of these children would be better off without either one of their parents. The horror stories I read are just the tip of the iceberg to what these kids have endured, I’m sure.

I don’t know who came up with the idea that a 50/50 split is “fair” to anyone. There is disparity in time, income, availability, and temperament. Parents should be accountable for the total care package of their children, but not all parents are capable of making good decisions for themselves, and some are too selfish to ever put their child’s needs above their own. The biological ability to procreate does not mean that you have the capacity to be a good parent.

Whatever your arrangement, it is a good idea to put it in writing and IF IT DOES NOT WORK OUT, document, document, document. Modification is also possible. Don’t settle for less $ in child support unless the disordered one is actually doing what he/she is legally obligated to do. You are not free child care for your spouse, if they have “something important” come up and they cannot fulfill their obligations. If you love your child, your child deserves the best care either of you can afford.

Many times, affair partners are not interested in being parenting partners. They may put on a big public show, but if they are always on the look-out for place to slip off and have a boink meeting, or a new partner to boink, they probably don’t want to spend their time changing diapers and taking toddlers to the park. I have to say that my EXH’s affair partners were usually better at taking care of my sons than he ever was. I was not thrilled about that — but it was reality and I wanted to know my sons were being fed, and bathed, and had a safe clean place to sleep.

MovingOn
MovingOn
8 years ago
Reply to  Portia

This is what my ex tried to attempt. He wanted 50/50 because he didn’t want to have to pay CS, but I think he anticipated that his life would continue on the way it had before, and he wouldn’t actually have to do any additional parenting. I calmly informed him that when he had the kids during his half of the week, he was 100% responsible for taking care of them. I would not be “babysitting” for him on nights that he had grad classes or musical performances (which, at that point, were many). It was amazing how quickly he changed his tune and then had no problem giving me primary custody. I think that the EOW and one weeknight is really all that my ex and the Owife can handle. They have her two kids full-time, and as much as they like to play up the Brady Bunch angle, they couldn’t sustain it every day over the long-term since they are more about image than substance. Because, you know… parenting is something you actually have to do, and sometimes it can be hard! Golly gee!

Sil
Sil
8 years ago
Reply to  Portia

“Personally, I believe arguments over custody are usually arguments over how much will be paid in child support and who gets the income tax deduction, and child credit.”

Absolutely. I knew that when my ex insisted that I give him the custody of both our daughters (ages 2 and 6) even though I work at home, and he has only 1 day per week off work, to leave them under the care of the OW who’s diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

thensome
thensome
8 years ago
Reply to  Portia

I agree Portia. 50/50 was what I settled for to get the disordered out of my life and it turns out I have our daughter more anyhow.

I’m reasonable when it comes to travel and other issues that pertain to my ex’s work schedule. But when you have a domestic with your girlfriend and you want me to sort that out for you by helping out with pick up? Nah. I’m good.

Thankfully my daughter is a teenager. She can figure things out quite well. I find it best to stand back and let her see who her Dad really is. The cracks show.

Her Blondeness
Her Blondeness
8 years ago
Reply to  thensome

Portia and Thensome, ITA. If they weren’t a good parent in the marriage, they sure as heck aren’t one out of it either. They’re usually much, much worse, in fact. They only do for the kids when there is someone (new love interest, other parents at school or activities, etc.) watching. Otherwise, they don’t give a flying rat’s ass about their kids because, ya know, they take work!

I can always tell when Cheater #1 has a new girlfriend. Then the indignation that he “never” sees his son and he’s going to sue for full custody amps up again. Apparently these women are experts, experts, I tell you, in the family law arena. And the child support, that has not gone up in twelve years, is highway robbery. The kicker? Most of these bitches don’t.have.kids, so they have no earthly idea what raising one costs. Nowadays, I mostly ignore the noise since all of them break up with him within a year. Not so good at hiding his true self anymore, I guess.

TheClip
TheClip
8 years ago

My circles back like a buzzard…pick pick pick… Flies off… Back again… Pick pick pick.

Elle
Elle
8 years ago
Reply to  TheClip

Yep, sounds familiar. He called me a few weeks ago because his mum had been taken ill. I’m still fond of her and she refuses to have anything to do with the Stupid Bitch Whore. So, asked me to keep in touch about his mother and I emailed a few days later to ask him how she was. One line reply, ‘fine thank you’. He has not spoken or tried to contact me since. No doubt he is playing some passive aggressive game here. If he is waiting for me to respond and start asking what’s wrong, is he ok, why the sudden silence…he is going to have a very very long wait. In fact, try eternity. And you know what – reading this back has just made me realise how much closer to ‘Meh’ I get every single day. 🙂

ChumpFromF
ChumpFromF
8 years ago
Reply to  TheClip

Nice metaphor

TheBetterJamie
TheBetterJamie
8 years ago

Well I’ll start with the tax situation, that’s the most recent & glaring example of kibbles.

So he also decided, as CL’s ex did, that he was entitled to half of my tax return this year. Although he’s been out of the house for a year and a half and I’ve maintained all the bills & mortgage, he believes he should be receiving half my return. Lol. He’s so committed to that idea that he’s filed an extension, thinking I’ll cave and submit by October. Hahaha!!! He also called my mother and played the sad sausage card to try to manipulate her into giving him tax documents from my home because I refused. What a loon.

I can’t guarantee I won’t come back with more stories today. Lol.

Freeatlast
Freeatlast
8 years ago
Reply to  TheBetterJamie

My genius X filed married and joint for the taxes the year we were divorcing even though I didn’t give him permission to use my social #, wonder how that will play out ? And this year he claimed all the kids and kept the whole refund for the past two years, even though I have primary custody, talk about entitled!!

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Freeatlast

#taxfraud

I think the IRS will be very interested in that. In fact, if you filed by yourself and claimed those kids as dependents, I would call the IRS *right now* and tell them because they will pick up on the fact that the same social security numbers were claimed by two people, and they will get someone to pay. Better that it is him (esp. if you have the decree showing that you have custody).

Freeatlast
Freeatlast
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

No kidding Tempest !! He e-filed them earlier this year, I paper filed a month ago and made sure to give them a copy of our decree with me return. I just got a letter in the mail with a small refund. I think he may have gotten a letter too 🙂

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Freeatlast

Freeatlast–excellent! Someone is going to get a not-so-nice letter from the IRS (and it isn’t you). I wish they still had debtor’s prison; perfect consequence for cheaters who would seek to defraud the government.

Freeatlast
Freeatlast
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

my cheater doesn’t discriminate, he cheats everyone

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
8 years ago
Reply to  TheBetterJamie

During the year our divorce was in progress, but we had been living separately the entire year, ex asked me to refile my taxes and go joint with him so that I could pay half of the $9K he owed the IRS for clearing out his 401k. He wrote that “it would be in all of our best interests” for me to go in half on his debt and that he “didn’t see how he could pay child support” if I didn’t do this. Oh, and he wanted to declare ME as a dependent on his taxes, something the IRS never allows. Needless to say, my answer to all of the above was “No.”

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

They are so full of BS, aren’t they (and yours was obviously working with a different definition of “our best interests” than usual).

Mine had a different definition of “fair.” He tried to get me to accept his “fair” (i.e., substandard) settlement offer by Dec. 31st because otherwise a friend had told him we would have to file jointly for 2015. Nooooo….I told him his friend was an idiot in so many words, and that my “accountant” would review his settlement offer. He ended up having to pay me 4x as much cash as his “fair” settlement suggested.

JC
JC
8 years ago
Reply to  TheBetterJamie

Sorry to hear that, TBJ. Cheaters DO feel entitled.

During my divorce, tax season came along. Although I was always the one better with money, the previous year my wife and I had purposefully calculated a high state withholding on my paycheck, and a high federal withholding on her paycheck.

And yet somehow, if we filed separately, I came out with a return of several $K, while she was in the red for about the same amount. I VERY much wanted to keep “my” money. But given we were technically still married, I just played nice. We filed jointly instead, and received a very small return.

I wasn’t happy to lose out on that money…literally to my cheating wife. But, I’m proud that I stuck to my principles. After all, my wife and I had made an *agreement* the previous year regarding our finances, so I honored that agreement. That’s what I do — honor my agreements…even if my cheating wife clearly wasn’t honoring hers.

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
8 years ago
Reply to  JC

I hear you JC, the year of my divorce my CPA told me “whoever files first is pretty much clear, the IRS won’t care about the details unless it’s in your agreement”. But I’m a chump so I had him file everything such that taxes were shared equally on everything up until the actual date of divorce even tho my ex didn’t pay one dime to bills, his name was on the deed.

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  TheBetterJamie

Ya – speaking of taxes…. My dumbass decided to cash in his Roth 9 days after recieving divorce papers. He didn’t think I would find out or something…. Went to accountant and we owed $5000 in taxes. I have ALWAYS made MY tax burden throughout the year – whereas dumbshit claims 1, and we have always ‘split’ the taxes (I was stupid – I know). So my accountant suggested we file separate since he was obviously trying to screw me. I was close….. I told fuckface that because he cashed in that Roth we needed to file separate, he bought it. His tax burden, had he filed separate, would have been $8000!. Mine = about $100.00. I was more than happy to send in $100.00. But – I was nice and allowed him to pay the full $5000.00 and claimed joint. He’s gonna get a nice slap in the face next year. Oh but wait – then again…. He told me that as soon as I was out of the picture, he was going to be ‘rich!’ So nevermind – he will have plenty of cash to pay the usual $2000/year we normally pay in. But – it will likely be more next year since he doesn’t have me paying in throughout the year like we should. Idiot.

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

One thing I might add….my youngest will be in college next year and I have a 21-year old. I told the both of them that we will no longer be claiming them as dependents, therefore they will be able to get a better tax break for schooling next year. I failed to tell my stbx that. Surprise asshole!

Portia
Portia
8 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

Be careful what you do for filing taxes and remember the FEDS consider any children under 24 and not married to be dependent upon a parent. Depending on what your custody arrangement says, one parent generally is determined to be primary for FAFSA purposes if the child is applying for federal financial aid. If you are married on the last day of the tax year, even if you are separated, the feds generally want you to file married filing separately or jointly. There are some exceptions to this general rule, but you have to have a tax professional document that you fit these exceptions. You could spend a lot of time correcting this little problem. In addition, unless the students are earning more than the standard exemption rate, counting themselves as an exemption may not help them. Just a word to the wise — federal and state tax laws don’t always coincide when it comes to rules, and financial aid is a whole other world of freaky rules. Be careful and keep all your docs in a safe place.

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  Portia

Yes. My 21-year-old made about $16,000 last year, but we still claimed him. He lost out on about $2500 because we claimed him as a dependant. He is also a student. My son was very upset that he didn’t get back hardly anything – and my tax accountant told him he can blame that on his dad. (smiles! My accountant rocks!). So I told my son he could claim himself next year…. I felt bad, but with stbx cashing in that Roth…..it really hosed everyone. Good job asshole!

Her Blondeness
Her Blondeness
8 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

Lady Strange, if it wasn’t for the number of kids and their ages, I’d swear you were married to my first husband! Claimed zero deductions, cuz, ya know, he needed the money! Tried to get me to pay half the mortgage after I moved out. I did pay half the property taxes until I bought him out. However, I made the check out to the county assessor, not to him nor gave him cash which he had the cajones to ask for. Yeah, we all know what would’ve happened with that.

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  Her Blondeness

Ya – mine said “I don’t like paying MY money to the government.” Really? Can you tell me WHO does? And it is either a little comes out every two weeks or pay in a crapload come April. Do’i. Some people are so dumb…

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

Oh – ha – one more thing…. Dumbshit asked me if I was going to pay half the property taxes this past May. Ummmm – I left the house, so no. I told him that I was not helping to pay the property taxes because we agreed (as of right now) that he would get the house in the divorce settlement and therefore will be able to claim them on next years taxes. Little does he realize that he won’t be able to claim the property tax next year. Surprise again asshole!

Survivor
Survivor
8 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

LadyStrange, my ex got the house. I paid everything for a year while he was living out at the curb. I moved out, and he took possession, a couple of weeks before the property taxes were due. No, I did not pay that. Just left the bill on the counter. “Why didn’t you pay that?” “Because I’m not living there.” I also gave the gardener and bi-weekly housekeeper (both of whom I was required to keep on and pay until a settlement was reached, even when I had no money for food) each a generous raise. When he called in a lather about them telling him they earned more now, I simply confirmed the new rates we’d agreed upon.

Truth be told, I’ve always missed my twice a month housekeeper more than I’ve missed Professor Dingusbrain McCheaterpants.

Lyn
Lyn
8 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

LadyStrange, my ex tried to get me to pay half our house payment after I moved out, even though I was paying rent. Luckily my lawyer put a stop to that!

Chump Princess
Chump Princess
8 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

What is it with these freaks? My STBX POS wanted me to help with the mortgage and the property assessments even though I had moved out and was paying rent. I refused. Now his attorney has filed a dissipation of assets claim based on me paying rent and supporting myself (while still doling out money to my newly adult children to assist them when necessary) with “my” money. Of course, he’s trying to equalize the monetary damage because as of right now I have a dissipation of assets claim against him (and he moved to live with the OWhore – Chaching!) and have had one from early on, in addition to him owing me half of the money he has already collected from his pension (since he “retired” early to move to be with the OWhore, thus creating an even larger dissipation claim) and so on. I’m just hoping that all of this works in my monetary favor the way it should. The courts can be so fickle.

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

I hope so too Princess. How did we end up with these losers????

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

I DID pay half the house payment after I moved out for about 6 months (on top of rent!) I was scared he wouldn’t pay it at all and my awesome credit would go to hell. I ended up moving back into the home for a year….a year of HELL. I am out again and I am paying for only the portion of the mortgage I am living in. (Long story). I notified my banker that I would only be paying a portion of the mortgage and the rest was his problem. Not that it will NOT affect my credit if dumbass doesn’t pay his portion, but at least I am letting others know what is going on. And I can show the courts that I am not trying to pull shit – like shitheads I know….

ChumpFromF
ChumpFromF
8 years ago

My cheater got the greatest kibble supply after he had me drive to Nice airport last week, to pick up a 40 year-old woman from Eastern Europe. She came out with 4.7 inches stilettos and bright orange hair and looked around until she spotted my STBX and waved at him. I almost fainted with shock. To reassure me about her intentions, she showed a picture of her 75 year old italian boyfriend lifting weights.

On the days that followed, I put the story together bits by bits. She was attracted by pictures he put on line (VK) during our weekends together. She had purchased her flight around November, unaware that he was not single. He had organized her 15-day trip, and she had paid the hotels through an agency. She had talked to him through Skype during the past month. A week before arrival, she had been informed he was not single, and had bought a chocolate box for me. Around the same time, I had been invited by STBX to join this wonderful vacation plan !!!

It never occured to him that I would hate to spend time with a predator who speaks only Russian.

Last night he came back late from day#6 and showed me a photo of a monument, to sound serious, but oops my finger brushed the screen while grabbing the phone, and a large selfie of him and the woman with bright orange hair appeared. “You don’t take pictures of me !”

I broke up with him last night.

He said he could only lose, that I did not give him a chance.
He cheated with another Russian woman last year. What an anniversary.
“I did nothing wrong !” he said.

… On the hard rocky road to Meh… STBX is now EX- and I have not quite realized yet after 15 years together.

ChumpFromF
ChumpFromF
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Mindfuck. Shock effect. The event was presented as a an opportunity to see my sister who lives in Cannes and just bought a new home (I had to drop a bag of things for the vacation house at my sister’s and was worried when I would be able to). No mention of him planning the woman’s trip. It was just coincidental. He was so happy to speak russian with someone. His work had no significant project, he had to take a vacation now. Etc. Of course now that the truth is out, the whole thing sounds ridiculous. And in a way, it was good that it happened, because it was disgusting enough for me to find the strength to break up.
I agree with you, he sucks, and it’s a dangerous situation for him. She showed pictures of her two sexy teenage daughters who look nothing like her. She is very cheerful and nice, but her micro-expressions are hateful.

Khris
Khris
8 years ago

How about the one from my ex: After finding out about his affairs (more than one) the only thing i wanted was a divorce, but in full disclosure I did go to a MC during which time I found this amazing group and it turned my life around. Anyway, the Ex’s suggestion was that instead of divorcing, we should get twin beds for the master bedroom. AND we can live together, raise the children together but live separate lives until our youngest (then 9) turned 18, then we could divorce! I know it is shocking, but I turned the offer down! When he suggested it, I just looked at him with a “you can’t really be serious” look because i had never heard anything so outrageous in my life. And that is why he is now my EX!

StrongerEveryday
StrongerEveryday
8 years ago
Reply to  Khris

Wow, Khris, I got a similar offer, though ex didn’t go so far to as visualize the twin bed situation (which, by the way, is INSANE). I was told that we didn’t have to divorce; we could remain in a “best friends”-type situation. Um. No.

KRKing911
KRKing911
8 years ago

Mine wanted ours to become an “open” marriage. I was like nope, I will not be in a marriage like that.

ChumpFromF
ChumpFromF
8 years ago
Reply to  Khris

Crazy !

TwinsDad
TwinsDad
8 years ago

Recently ex tried to arrange that I bring our sons to a cookout at family friends’ house that she and her AP were also invited to. I politely declined the invite from the friend. When friends responded that they hoped we would both feel comfortable spending time there anytime, I responded that I would not socialize with my ex and the man she cheated on me with. Ex then raged at me via text. I think she wanted everyone at the cookout to see that I was OK with her and AP and all was forgiven. Fuck that! What man in his right mind would go to this cookout?

Thankful
Thankful
8 years ago
Reply to  TwinsDad

Omg. They are are bunch of whack jobs. The being invited to things you know your Ex will be at is shit. A few weeks ago I attended an engagement party that I knew XH would be at. He arrived with the GF not the AP ( XH’s ap’s were male) and makes a beeline for the small group of people I was standing with. Kisses and hugs all round except for me. I just got the curt ” hello ……..”
Me, “hello dipshit (to him) hello brainless (to her) Proper names used. They then walked off hand in hand. I am sure he has the notion of either 1) if I react it is proof to the would I am a mean bitch, or 2) if I don’t react he is in the clear I have no problem. I just don’t react now, it took a while to get here but I am glad for it.
I later found only he had been invited to the engagement and he requested of the happy couple to be able the bring the GF and her kids. It is sad really.

TheLondonChump
TheLondonChump
8 years ago
Reply to  TwinsDad

Your ex sounds like a real piece of work….And not unlike mine.

Apparently, I need to be “positive about her AP to my kids, just as she is about my new partner”. It doesn’t smack her in the face that there is a world of difference between her relationship and mine.

TwinsDad
TwinsDad
8 years ago
Reply to  TheLondonChump

I know, right? I didn’t even meet my girlfriend until months after my ex moved out and we were officially separated. Why? Because despite knowing about her ongoing affair for over a year between the time I filed for divorce and she finally moved out, I thought it was wrong (for me) to date. Somehow in both our ex’s minds, now that we have someone in our lives, we should all just be friends, huh?

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  TwinsDad

Good for you! Ya – fuck that!

Lyn
Lyn
8 years ago

My ex was the kind of person who didn’t mind going into debt. He had a business credit card for one of his side gigs with about $16K on it. After we separated and I started looking for a house, I was surprised that my credit rating was much higher than his. Throughout our marriage I had a card in my name only and I paid it off every month.

A few months after we separated he emailed that he’d like to transfer his $16K debt to a new credit card in my name because I had a lower interest rate. He was so kind as to say that he’d have it put in the settlement that he was responsible for paying it. He didn’t seem to understand that banks don’t care who agrees to pay a debt, they just care who’s name it’s in. No way was I going to agree to have his $16K debt added to my credit profile.

What part of “I don’t trust you anymore” did he not understand?

thensome
thensome
8 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

I will never understand how cheaters expect you to do them “favours” after they have cheated and betrayed you?

They live on Planet Narc. Only a disordered person would even attempt to ask for this.

Lulu
Lulu
8 years ago

He found out from a mutual friend (who I no longer speak to, obviously) that I had a miscarriage with my my wonderful husband, who I married 2 years after I divorced the asshole. Ex sends me the following text message: “I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Since you’re not expecting a child with him anymore, maybe we can work things out?”

Seriously. Forget blocking his number… I nearly set my phone on fire.

Lania
Lania
8 years ago
Reply to  Lulu

Firstly, sorry for your loss.
Secondly: What in the actual bloody fuck. We have a winner for disordered here! And of course, we know that pricks like this pull this kinda crap – and no use trying to untangle that fuckedupness.
Thirdly: I’d want to fucking cleave the whore in half who told him. Like its any of his/her business to be saying that to him, of all people.

FoolMeTwice
FoolMeTwice
8 years ago
Reply to  Lania

^^^^ Lulu, I’m so sorry you and your husband had to go through this. Can’t add much to what Lania already said. Hugs to you.

UnsinkableMollyX
UnsinkableMollyX
8 years ago
Reply to  Lulu

OMG, the fuck is wrong with these people?!?!?! Seriously…my God…that is just, WOW!!!

Winner!!!

OutWest
OutWest
8 years ago
Reply to  Lulu

That’s some kind of fucked up!

Thankful
Thankful
8 years ago
Reply to  OutWest

My mouth fell open.

Lulu my condolences to you and your husband.
As for your Ex WTF??? Dick.

Chump Princess
Chump Princess
8 years ago
Reply to  Lulu

I am so, so sorry for your loss and for having to deal with a demented shepherd for satan’s flock. WTF!

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Lulu

Yup, winner winner, chicken dinner!

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Sorry for your loss, too, Lulu (and that you had to deal with X on top of it).

FeralBlue
FeralBlue
8 years ago
Reply to  Lulu

OMG. This one wins. What a turdburgler.

Btw, CN truly is sorry for you and your hubby’s loss.

Lulu
Lulu
8 years ago
Reply to  FeralBlue

Thank you for your kind words. 🙂

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  Lulu

OMG – what a dumbass!

thensome
thensome
8 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

Wow. Just. Wow.

Marezy doats
Marezy doats
8 years ago
Reply to  Lulu

This has got to win the prize. OMG. Just OMG. Congratulations for getting away from this freak, and finding your wonderful husband. I’m very sorry for your loss, and I hope you are getting support fromother normal human beings.

Red
Red
8 years ago
Reply to  Lulu

Good Lord! Is he missing his sensitivity chip? What an idiot!

Red
Red
8 years ago

When XH told me last fall that he was remarrying, I smiled and said, “Congratulations!”

His jaw hit the floor. I think he thought I’d put up a fuss. We’d been pretty much no contact for months; but after I “let him go” with no issue, he started to call and text 4-5x a week. Until his new wife saw his phone records, that is. Now he’ll call once a month or so, to see how the kids are doing.

I have full custody by default these days – he has no interest in parenting and the kids refuse to spend time with him – but every now and again if I don’t do something he likes, he’ll threaten to take me to court for full custody. Yeah, good luck with that. He’s like an annoying fly that buzzes in every now and again to stir up trouble, and we’ve all pretty much lost interest. Kibble supply: EMPTY.

LittleLady
LittleLady
8 years ago
Reply to  Red

Kudos to your smart kids, Red, for refusing to see him.

kimmy
kimmy
8 years ago

Because my ex is a numbers guy, I am going to do this in numbers. We were together for 30 years, married 23 of those, had 2 daughters together, his affair lasted 5 years, I had 5 ddays in those 5 years, he left me 2 times, once at his insistence and once mine, he spent $1100 on a watch for OW and who knows how much more money funded his affair. After the 5 years and last dday, I asked him to leave. Like the previous ddays, ex pleads for forgiveness and declares his undying love for me and our daughters. I flatly refuse reconciliation and insist on divorce. I ask him to leave for good.

He packs up his things and moves out leaving 1 sweatshirt with a ripped pocket on our bed. He wants me to SEW IT FOR HIM!!!! THAT is his parting request!!! Yeah………like I am going to sew for that fucktard!

LOL. I still laugh over this one!

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Me too, and sometimes I get evil so sewing up something and spiking his drink with Viagra, oh no, that would be mean

mary
mary
8 years ago
Reply to  Datdamwuf

You got off lightly….mine left a torn piece of shitty toilet paper in our bed on his final night here. It was nerves and stress upsetting his system that gave him diahorrea and many visits to the loo. He was so upset…..it was a final little gesture of how hard it was for him!

lisa
lisa
8 years ago

I told my narcissistic sbtx…I want a divorce, you are such a liar…a cheater..an abuser! He got on his belly…face down on the floor…and started praying..to God…I got up and walked out…instead of manhandling me like he usually does…he got face down outside in the dirt…and started praying louder…”I renounce satan and all his evil”…on and on and on…far be it from me…but wow…what a nut job…pretty sure God doesn’t condone adultery…and attempted murder…

FoolMeTwice
FoolMeTwice
8 years ago
Reply to  lisa

Lol!

ChumpB
ChumpB
8 years ago
Reply to  FoolMeTwice

That’s quite hilarious Lisa. Really got a chuckle from that. A lot of this bullshit is just comical and great fodder for a CN topic. When I asked ex to stop seeing AP (who he claims they were just sharing fun sporting activities) he literally shed tears and said, “I’m just a kid who wants to ride his bike with someone.”

FoolMeTwice
FoolMeTwice
8 years ago
Reply to  ChumpB

LOL!!!

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  ChumpB

ChumpB, what he really meant was “I’m just immature and like to ride someone.”

ChumpB
ChumpB
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Tempest, it’s true!

deepbreaths
deepbreaths
8 years ago
Reply to  lisa

Priceless!

Gone
Gone
8 years ago

AftER

Gone
Gone
8 years ago

After nursing him through 3 back surgeries, where he also didn’t follow doctors orders, he texted me to say he got a second opinion and the new doc said his back isn’t healing and it’s too bad to operate on. A few days later in response to a business question, he said he was in the hospital. An hour and half later, he was out of the hospital…
Trying to get pity kibble. He’s such a victim.
Never mind seeing prostitutes the entire time, lie upon lie, or giving me herpes- I should really feel sorry for him. Unfortunately for him, I backed up his entire computer before confrontation.

Gone
Gone
8 years ago

Other classic- it was only 4 or 5 prostitutes in the last 4 months (said in counseling), and not a big deal. It was just because I wasn’t supplying him with enough sexual affection…
Sigh.

Gone
Gone
8 years ago

For other people’s kibbles, he tells them that I have gone crazy because of my family issues and kicked him out of his own house!!!
I actually got him out by asking who he wanted me to email first (documentation is powerful).

Arnold
Arnold
8 years ago

I have a couple relative to my first XW.
First one was after I remarried. I bought a house and, for some stupid reason, agreed to having my XW come over to see it, so she would know that our boys had a nice place to live.
She came over and toured the place, then went outside and lay prone on our front lawn , claiming she was having an anxiety attack for some reason. her girlfriend ( one who knew all about her cheating and never told me) had to drive over and pick her up. What a fucking drama queen.
Second one occurred shortly after I divorced my second wife( again, due to cheating). First XW was in the process of moving ( divorced by her second husband, a nice guy, who had had enough of her abuse and probable cheating). First XW asks if I can use my Van to pick up some new furniture she had purchased and bring it to her new house.
Stupidly, I agreed and delivered the furniture. After doing so, she follows me to my van and asks me to hug her. I almost vomited and refused. She was teary eyed and I drove off.
Third one( guess there were more than I thought). I drop the boys off around Christmas and she has a present for me “from the boys”. I accept it and, with tears in her eyes, she asks me to hold out my hands. I do and she grasps them and tried to look deep into my eyes and says ” I love you, Arnold.” I blanch and pull my hands back and walk away saying nothing.
I will say this for my second XW: at least she knows better than to try any of this type of crap, as she is aware that I know she is a disordered asshole. So, very little of this type of stuff occurs, although she tries to joke with me and engage in small talk a lot.
First XW ( the one who woke me up one night to boast about the body of the guy she had been with) is more delusional, or , perhaps, a better way to say it would be that she is much more convinced that she is superior and has people fooled. She portrays herself as this highly spiritual, evolved , new age guru.
Right now, there are a couple issues with children from each marriage and I have to interact a lot with both these assholes. You would think we were best friends and that none of their abuse had taken place the way they call me and talk to me all the time. I never talk about anything but the kids and am civil. But, these wing nuts must be so good at compartmentalizing, that they show no signs of being aware that they cheated and lied like crazy.
I never try to bring shit up or provoke them. Why bother. I just feel so fortunate to have them out of my life as much as possible.

EnoughAlready
EnoughAlready
8 years ago
Reply to  Arnold

Too bad you didn’t have a sprinkler system installed in the lawn . . .

Arnold
Arnold
8 years ago
Reply to  EnoughAlready

LOL.

ChumpB
ChumpB
8 years ago
Reply to  Arnold

Arnold, those are some intense examples of cluster B folks. I’m chuckling seeing the sprinkler’s go off. You are an incredible survivor.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Arnold

Well-done, Arnold. You deserve a medal for being able to handle both nutjobs calmly.

Gone
Gone
8 years ago

When I confronted him (before limiting conversations to business) about herpes meds I found prescribed prior to our relationship- his outrage was “Why are you going through My bathroom drawers?!
Yep. He knew he had herpes all along and just didn’t bother to tell me.

chew
chew
8 years ago

My ex and I are selling the house. She was on 9 day camping trip with AP now bf. While away my son and I prepped the house , listed it and it sold in one day. The realtor kept her updated on vacation. When she got back my my son , ex and I went out to lunch as we were all together to finish house. On the way to lunch I said oh look we are going out just like a little family. Joking of course. She seriously says we are still a family. My son and I just looked at her. Then at lunch she told us that I ruined her vacation with om and she cried everyday because I sold the house. Crazy stuff.

She always says she wants to be friends. I have humored her a bit because it makes it easier to deal with finalizing the details, but once the house closes NC/LC kicks in. Looking forward to it.

Kelli
Kelli
8 years ago

Him: I don’t understand why we can’t be friends.

Me: Well…. You cheated on me repeatedly. In fact, you have a 6 month old alive right now, yet I only filed for divorce 13 months ago. You gave me HPV, which resulted in cervical cancer. When I found the texts on your phone, you chased me, tackled me, and banged my head on the concrete floor repeatedly. I’ve had 3 seizures since you did that to me. I filed for divorce with an overdrawn bank account, house in foreclosure, car going into repossession, and no job, and you refuse to pay a penny in any kind of child support, even with court orders. You refuse to pay half of any bills or expenses. You refuse to give me half of the 401k that you were ordered by the judge to hand over. You’ve fought me for a year for 50/50 custody of our toddlers, just so you won’t have to pay child support, and you admitted as much in text messages. Shall I continue?…

Him: You really need to let all of that go. We need to be able to communicate for the children. Our girls deserve better than you holding your grudges.

Me: [thumbs up emoticon]

OutWest
OutWest
8 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

That is awful. I wish a quick road to meh and success to you!

NoMoreNarcs
NoMoreNarcs
8 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

The comedienne Liza Schlessinger used the fried shrimp emoticon (apple) to respond to a text that had no logical response. Maybe you could try that one. Keeps them guessing

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
8 years ago
Reply to  NoMoreNarcs

I wish I had thought of that. Back when I still did more texting with my ex, I finally resorted to responding, “LOL” to anything that was crazy or vicious. It did freak him out when I would text that after he insulted me or hurled some abuse. LOL! 🙂

Arnold
Arnold
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

I think you should do a cartoon, Tracy. A betrayed holing a box of “Grudge Away” with some slogan like ” Be gay. Use Grudge Away”. or something.

Kelli
Kelli
8 years ago
Reply to  Arnold

More like throwing them up in the air around me and letting them sprinkle down like confetti. It’s not that I am holding a grudge against him. He specifically asked why we can’t be friends. Those are the reasons. He sucks.

Carrie Reimer
Carrie Reimer
8 years ago

A year after we split and he is living with another woman he shows up at my door unannounced and proceeds to tell me how successful he is now and he wants to help me be successful too. “What kind of man would he be if he didn’t take care of his peeps”.
i said, ‘Peeps????”
He said, “Well, yeah, the people i care about.”
I said, “I am not one of your “peeps” and you are not successful. You successfully hooked a widow with money, that does not make YOU successful. I doubt she would be too happy about you using her money to make me successful. Besides I am doing fine on my own thanks anyway” and I told him I didn’t want to be his friend and he left.
he called a few days later and i said again I couldn’t be his friend.
He said, “If we can’t be friends then we have no future.”
WTF?
that’s when he started on his crusade to destroy my reputation and business. How dare I refuse to be one of his peeps!

ChumpB
ChumpB
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Really good one CL!!!!

Arnold
Arnold
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

“Me not your people. Me bring tribe. Burn village.”

Chump Change
Chump Change
8 years ago

While in “wreckonciliation” for nearly a year, I discovered a new Schmoopie, who had been in the picture for well over a year. Hubby was living in our guest house, pretending to be courting me again while going and coming from Schmopie’s house at will, and I was none the wiser. DDay was mid January 2014. I didn’t do the pick me dance, I told him we were done and I was gong to file for Divorce. 38 years down in flames. A month later a Valentines Day card was left in the mailbox. The card he chose read: “A healthy stable relationship is such a joy… But I like ours better.” Then he wrote: I am truly sorry that I have created so much hurt for you. I have a deep love for you that will always be there. But I do feel that we would be so much better as friends – the best friends that we have been for a long time. I honestly think that in the long run we will both be happier. I will always be your supporter.” My therapist said that he was trying to move me like a chess piece into the friend position to keep me in the picture. He will always be my supporter though… Though stalling the divorce process, he is paying the mortgage and and other expenses he was paying all along. He is even paying my attorney (on top of the divorce lawyer) to defend me separately from him in a business lawsuit. I’m implicated in his shenanagans because he made me the chief financial officer of his corporation without telling me. I just got drug into court to defend myself against Criminal Contempt of Court charges, because he ignored a stipulation. He still thinks rules don’t apply to him, but quickly learned otherwise. The Narc/sociopath couldnt even look at me in court. Yep – friends! He’s delusional! I’ve discovered like many of us here that he was a serial cheater pretty much our whole marriage. I forgave him a one night stand early on in our marriage and thought we had put that shit away for good. Nope, they just get sneakier. I regret that I didnt leave him 3 years into the marriage rather than 35. At least I have 2 amazing and accomplished sons. I am finally at Meh and am enjoying an amazing new fella that treats me better in every way that my stbxh. Life is good and I am feeling joy again. Just need to get rid of the wasband and all of his dirty business.

tossedaway
tossedaway
8 years ago
Reply to  Chump Change

Wow, that sounds so much like my STBX! He wants us to be best friends, he wants to help me go back to school (on top of helping OW go back to school), help me with my house and car (on top of helping her with a house and car). He hates spending money, but he is spending it hand over fist to appease his guilt with me and show everyone he was a great husband, and keep his OW happy! He has had multiple affairs, that he said were for true love, and I always forgave him, so me not wanting to be his friend anymore is very confusing for him. Like you I regret wasting 20 years of my life on someone who never really loved me (how can you love someone if it is so easy to lie and cheat on them) but I got four wonderful children out of the union and I will never regret that!

marci
marci
8 years ago

This was only an ex boyfriend (ID’d as narc, and dumped in good time). I had been rather enjoying the show of kibble-consumption, just fascinated by what a classic he was. I finally went no contact, no explanation needed, he was already cheating and I didn’t need a confrontation.

Fast forward nine months, and a text from him out of the blue saying “did you ever get your motorcycle license”. Now I am the world’s least likely motorcycle rider…never went on one in my life and certainly did not with him. Then came another text “i thought you might like to have my Dad’s old bike”. WTF? After a pause the final text “shall I take you off my phone list?”

I laughed and showed it to then-current BF. He suggested texting back “who is this?”

Scott
Scott
8 years ago

“Maybe after we divorce we can date?”

My reply? “Let’s get through the divorce first and then I’ll let you know if I’ve lost my mind.”

“It’s always been you, no one else ever!”

My reply? Of course, “except when you’re screwing high school kids.”

“You’ll never get over it, just please don’t hate me.”

My reply? “I’ll get over what i want, when i want, and hate who I want when I want. How’s it feel to witness selfish?”

TheMuse
TheMuse
8 years ago
Reply to  Scott

wow, great responses, Scott. My Ex said, “if it doesn’t work out with her, Muse, I can totally see us getting back together again.” I responded, “if you are leaving me for another woman you are NEVER getting back together again with me. Ever.” He then said, “yeah, well, if you ever get in another relationship, – ” and I cut him off, saying, “Stop right there – I won’t be taking any relationship advice from YOU!”

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  Scott

Scott – I got something like that too. “A lot of people get back together after they divorce.” He made it sound like it was some kind of magical ‘fix’ to our marriage. Divorce doesn’t magically ‘fix’ the fact that you cheated on my dickwad. I’ll just take half of the pension please and be done with you asshole…..

ByeByeCheater
ByeByeCheater
8 years ago

I’ve mentioned this here before but it certainly warrants repeating for this topic….

STBX gave me the sad sausage eyes and said he didn’t have anyone to list as his emergency contact so he left me in that role. If I ever get called, my response will be that I am no longer his wife and apparently he didn’t update his info – sorry, can’t help.

Kelly
Kelly
8 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

My ex said to me at some point that he had to name AP#1 as the beneficiary on one of his life insurance policies because our children did not speak to him and so that if he died, someone would take care of the arrangements. I responded, “why did you change it, you should have left it to me, I would have enjoyed burying you.”

FoolMeTwice
FoolMeTwice
8 years ago
Reply to  Kelly

High five to Kelly

KRKing911
KRKing911
8 years ago
Reply to  Kelly

ha ha ha Kelly that was priceless.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

or, just tell them to remove life support, based on his wishes.

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Love that Tempest

loridachump
loridachump
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

LMAO!!!!

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

LMAO!

Dr. I Can't Believe I'm a Chump
Dr. I Can't Believe I'm a Chump
8 years ago

No kibbles? He was just gone. Maybe my kibbles are stale. Maybe he wanted chow with a real dog. I have no idea.

No pick me dance or kibbles is a strange mix of complete rejection and total relief if you can feel those things simultaneously.

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago

Dr. – Maybe he’s dead.

Arnold
Arnold
8 years ago

My second XW has not sought Kibbles, either. I think the more perceptive ones realize that it is a done deal and to get the hell out of our lives. I sort of respect this, at least a lot more than the attitude that we can be friends.
I think the ones who feel you will still want some type of relationship with them are the worst of the NPDs. They feel so superior that they think that even having done all this abusive stuff, they are great that anyone would still want to bask in their presence.

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
8 years ago

We were divorced on 01/31/14. What would’ve been our 27th wedding anniversary was almost a month later on 02/28/14. That week he called me to go out ‘to celebrate’ our newly defunct anniversary????!!!

He also expected that i would keep editing all his emails; talk to him a few times a week and feed the dogs whenever he was unavailable or went on vacations with twu wuv schmoopie. At one point he even suggested that “if we weren’t seeing anybody seriously” we could still travel to football games together since that was something we always enjoyed. Keep in mind that he started dating before I even moved out and before the ink was dry on our divorce papers had the OW from three years prior living in our house-like that wasn’t going on the whole time we were in wreck-con-ciliation….right!

I went full on no-contact with him after the anniversary dinner invite. He had a slight narc rage when I went no contact and launched a full on text war which I engaged in for half a day but I called it completely quits after that. I blocked him from all venues except for email. We haven’t spoken in well over a year now; no texts at all since he had his narc rage moment and maybe 2 emails in that time -both concerning the kids.

Fortunately they’re adults and they handle all business with him independent of me once I made it clear that’s how that would be working. At first I was reluctant about blocking him from all venues in case there was some sort of emergency with the kids but I figure since they are both adults, if there is an emergency the proper authorities can find me. I live much closer to both of them anyway.

Also-(and I think this is important too) I NEVER ask the kids about their dad. If they bring him up, they get complete radio silence and no reaction out of me. Since I show absolutely no interest, they tell me absolutely nothing. Kind of an unwritten rule I suppose but his name stopped coming up in conversation. I don’t want to put them in an awkward position and I don’t want them running back and telling him I give a shit about anything he does.

No more kibbles from this former chump!

OutWest
OutWest
8 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

you radiate awesomeness! My kids are too young for totally getting him out of my life, but give me 7 years…

Miss Sunshine
Miss Sunshine
8 years ago

Just putting in a word for those of us whose spouses had “exit affairs.” In my case–maybe some of you are in the same boat–he just walked out.
There really was no play for kibbles for very long. Either he was completely devoted to OW, or she had his balls in a vice. Either way–it just ended.

I thank GOD for that. He really could have dragged my heart through the dirt for a very long time.

It was like ripping off a Band-Aid. He dropped a bomb, moved out a month later, and then it was over when I quit begging/dancing/raging.

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
8 years ago
Reply to  Miss Sunshine

Miss Sunshine-I think it is better. Mine had the classic exit affair, but when I put the ball in his court to decide our marital fate the coward in him emerged big time. Three years of tortured pick me dancing ensued.

When I finally asked for a divorce three years later he readily agreed and the OW was living with him before the divorce was final. Total waste of time, total waste of three years of my forties and lots and lots of useless dancing for an unworthy partner.

I wish he had the balls to just leave when he had the opportunity!! Much easier to pull the band aid off quickly.

bepositive
bepositive
8 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

cheaterssuck – I agree I wish mine had left two years ago when he first said he was going to. I don’t necessarily regret marrying him (I do have my kids!) but I regret wholeheartedly spending an addition two years on him.

JC
JC
8 years ago

“So, wanna go get a beer?” my soon-to-be-ex-wife said as we left the courthouse.

JC
JC
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Just a simple, “No. See you around.” And then I turned and walked away.

My wife complained about it later, writing an e-mail to “check in” (aka, get kibbles), saying that she was sad about the way we last parted and specifically quoting me.

But, in my opinion, “see you around” was much better than the thousand of withering responses I could have used.

Arnold
Arnold
8 years ago
Reply to  JC

All these kibble seeking actions/invitations are the best evidence that these folks , simply, have no clue as to the extent of their cruelty and abuse.
Would you invite someone you had physically assaulted to have a beer with you or be your friend etc.? I do not think any of them will ever come to know what they have done.
What, do they expect you to sit down with them and stroll down memory lane? How, exactly would that go?
“Hey, Arnold, remember that time on Henry’s ( our son) birthday when I told you guys I had to miss his party to work late? Well, you should have seen the size of the schlong that I was working on. Yeah, those were the good ol’ days, eh?. Let’s crack open another cold one. Bartender….”

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
8 years ago
Reply to  Arnold

Yep. They live in a completely different reality from the rest of us, one that exists only in the recesses of their own heads. That’s really disgusting that she would miss her own child’s birthday to go fuck some guy, there is really no bottom to how low these disordered types will go.

Arnold
Arnold
8 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

She also missed Christmas at her sister’s house one year, suddenly claiming that she was inspired to go to a local food shelf and feed the homeless. Right out of the blue she came up with this one. She had no history of ever doing anything charitable.
She got home after Midnight the next day.

not Juliet
not Juliet
8 years ago
Reply to  JC

My ex’s whore and him too, just absolutely could not resist the How are you?!! communications, like it they didn’t “check” in each other some calamity would befall them both. Dumb shits.

TimeHeals
TimeHeals
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

“Sure, I intend to go grab a beer. But with better company”?

Arnold
Arnold
8 years ago
Reply to  TimeHeals

How about ” Go fuck yourself”?

Kelly
Kelly
8 years ago

My ex and I owned a small vacation home at the New Jersey Shore, that I loved more than any place else on earth. It was purchased with my hard-earned money. I lovingly decorated it. We used to jokingly refer to it as “Kelly’s f#@*ing beach house”. During the divorce proceedings, ex made it clear that he was going to marry one of his AP’s, and he asked whether he could remortgage the beach house into his name.

He said that this way, the children and I could use the beach house whenever we wanted. I asked him how in the world this was supposed to work, and he said that he would keep the beach house “family neutral,” so that the children and I would use it sometimes, and the AP and ex would use it others.

I told him no and insisted we sell it for a loss. Freaks.

OutWest
OutWest
8 years ago
Reply to  Kelly

I found her hair under my pillow at the family beach house….

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
8 years ago
Reply to  OutWest

That’s fucked up, Jedi hugs if you need em.

not Juliet
not Juliet
8 years ago

I don’t know if it was s kibble play or not, but the thing that disturbed me most that ex did (other than whoring around) was sell his wedding ring.

The situation was that I had caught him in contact with the whore yet again. We fought, and I kicked him out a couple of days, and we got back together. I didn’t really want to but did anyway. It didn’t sit well with me, at all. I changed his contact info in my phone to Liar. He saw it one day and started some shit with me. That didn’t sit well either and threw him out again. He kept hanging around “to spend time with our daughter.”. Like every night till I told him he wasn’t welcome anymore. During one of his visits, I noticed he wasn’t wearing the ring and asked about it. He said he sold it to the gold place and it was melted down. He ” needed money. “. It’s so expensive living on your mother’s couch. No, he did it with the specific intent to hurt me. No other reason. Whore can have him.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
8 years ago
Reply to  not Juliet

Shortly after Dday, I sold my wedding ring to one of those places for cash. I needed the money for my new apartment. When ex found out during bogus reconciliation, he was all butt hurt that I had sold the ring. He said he had kept his as a “memento” of our marriage.

Survivor
Survivor
8 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

Current spouse and I sold our old rings and our ex’s rings as well. Used the cash to help pay for our wedding. On the beach. In the Caribbean. With live steel pan music. We were pleased that our assholian exes both chose the remove and toss method of ring/marriage disposal, which allowed us a few nifty extras.

not Juliet
not Juliet
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Sounds like a good place to me, Chump Lady. I was with him for a while after that, but eventually took my ring to the pawn shop cause I was having these over whelming urges to toss it out the car window or flush it down the toilet, lol. I just couldn’t stand to have it around me.

WiserToday
WiserToday
8 years ago

A fake stroke and hospitalization after I told him the reconciliation wasn’t working. He spent his nights in the hospital surfing porn on his phone, spent the times I visited staring at and trying to charm any woman under 30 that got in line of sight. His attending physician recommended a psychiatric consult, which of course he didn’t follow up on. He was indeed a weak, frail man when he came home; he could hardly walk and had major balance problems. Our neighbors felt sorry for him – until they saw him frolicking outside with the dog while I was at work. The female neighbor came over after I got home that night to check on him. Sadly, his miraculous recovery had dissapated about the time I finished my shift, and he lurched around using a cane the rest of the evening.

LittleLady
LittleLady
8 years ago

Loki was an idiot who would harass the chickens if they didn’t lay enough eggs. He had no gratitude and no appreciation. So, to keep me in the picture post divorce he kept filing petty motions in court… About 12 in 2 years.

Elizabeth Lee
Elizabeth Lee
8 years ago
Reply to  LittleLady

I had that one, too. Asshat finally quit when I mentioned on Facebook that the lastest nastygram from his lawyer contained threats against our oldest daughter.

Elizabeth Lee
Elizabeth Lee
8 years ago
Reply to  Elizabeth Lee

Legal threats, that is.

ReDefiningMe
ReDefiningMe
8 years ago