UBT This Jesus Cheater Prayer Please

Universal Bullshit Translator

Her Jesus Cheater sends a prayer to his chump, to stop her from divorcing him. The Universal Bullshit Translator is here for it.

***

Dear Chump Lady,

So, my husband of seven years fed me the fairytale.

Everything you would want in a husband he encompassed. He was handsome, loving, supportive, kind, thoughtful, caring — the list could go on. He was also religious, which made me finding his text messages to his girlfriend on Christmas Eve even more fitting. I am also religious and have a deep love for God. After D-day, I took a couple weeks away from him. When I returned, he gave me the standard “I can’t live without you” speech.

However, he only lasted about 10 days before he left me in the driveway to go on a ski trip with the OW. Driving the new car I had bought him only two days before I found out about the affair. So I packed his things up in trash bags and placed them in storage.

Well, fast forward about a month…

He finds out that I’m going to file divorce papers.

He immediately switches from I couldn’t care less, to doing everything I asked for when I first found out. Then, he goes to therapy, gets a new phone number, goes sees our pastor, says he will switch professions (he’s a cop), but most upsetting is he begins to send me long text messages where he prays for me.

He takes the most sacred thing to me and sounds so sincere. How can someone who just broke every vow and covenant to you pretend he is now a saint? Plus, he knows his faith is why I truly feel in love with him in the first place. It messes with my head and makes me think he may be sincere.

Help me stand in the actual truth that he sucks!

I love God, but I hate he is using my faith to break down my defenses.

He still hasn’t taken any responsibility, but has blamed his actions on being stuck in darkness and tempted. Here is an abbreviated version of one of the many prayers he texts me:

God meet her in the quiet place tonight. Liberate her from the torment of her mind. Turn every tear into a testimony for they are precious in your sight. Shadow her in your unfailing love. God, I plead at the foot of your throne for restoration of her soul and spirit. Cast out all fear and trembling and replace it with your confidence and strength. Let her walk in the fullness of your calling. Deliver unto her unspeakable joy. Show her Your ways and guide her in Your truth. I simply ask You to love on her tonight, in only a way that You can. Amen

I always thank My God as I remember you in my prayers because of your love. I can’t imagine life without you. I Love You so much!! ❤️

Sincerely,

Not This Girl

***

Dear Not This Girl,

What a holy little mindfuck he is. I think it’s telling that he thinks YOU are the one who needs prayers. He pleads at the throne for the restoration of your SOUL? That’s pretty rich. Projection much? At least you have a soul, which is more than he can say.

How can I resist putting such a Jesus cheater prayer through the Universal Bullshit Translator?

God meet her in the quiet place tonight.

God, shut her up and make her believe my bullshit.

Liberate her from the torment of her mind.

Liberate her from the torment of common sense.

Of course, you could liberate her from me, (I’m a torment), but really, liberate her from the afflictions of self-respect and rationality.

Turn every tear into a testimony for they are precious in your sight.

Tears are precious kibbles. Chumps are precious in my sight, the way they cry and confer importance on me. And buy me cars and ski trips.

Shadow her in your unfailing love.

Shadow her, God, and monitor her comings and goings, for she may divorceth me and rain the hot coals of consequences upon my head, and smite me with lawyers.

God, I plead at the foot of your throne for restoration of her soul and spirit.

God, I plead with you! Restore her chumpiness!

Cast out all fear and trembling and replace it with your confidence and strength.

Cast out all fear and trembling, and replace it with confidence in my bullshit. It is strong. Make her weak.

Let her walk in the fullness of your calling. Deliver unto her unspeakable joy.

Actually, I don’t give a flip about her joy. But a fuckfest ski weekend with my mistress in that new car? Unspeakable joy delivery! With a side of cake!

Show her Your ways and guide her in Your truth.

Your ways and my ways are ONE. I’m a flaming narcissist, so God’s an extension of me.

Whatever I want, God wants. See how that works?

I simply ask You to love on her tonight, in only a way that You can. Amen

God/Me would like to remind you of the way I love on you, in only that way that I can. Remember? Huh, huh? Remember the good times?

God/Me spreads the love around, so don’t take it personally. I’m just generous like that.

I always thank My God as I remember you in my prayers because of your love. I can’t imagine life without you. I Love You so much!! ❤️

I thank me for me. Gosh, I can’t imagine life without me. I love me so much!

—-

Not This Girl — This guy is just your run-of-the-mill Jesus cheater. “Prayer” for him is just another word for manipulation. Don’t let him take your faith. Keep God and dump the loser. ((Hugs))

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HM
HM
7 years ago

Mindfuqery plain and simple. Walk away and implement the consequences.

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
7 years ago
Reply to  HM

And when you walk away, go No Contact, the path to the truth and the light.

GiveUsFree
GiveUsFree
7 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

I wonder if anybody has pointed out that it seems her cheater is likely double-texting? There is almost nothing in this vague nonsense-prayer he sends that he couldn’t also send to the OW. Seems like he doesn’t even say his wife’s name or indicate that he’s talking about his wife who he cheated on at all. I’d guess that’s because he’s lazy and trying to resurrect at least two different relationships w the same dang prayer texts. So keeping it vague lets him send the same prayer texts out to his wife and the OW.

Chatty
Chatty
7 years ago
Reply to  GiveUsFree

Now that you mention it…efficiently blasphemous. What a stellar guy.

Fifi
Fifi
7 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

Amen. Thank you, Jesus.

It Is What It Is
It Is What It Is
7 years ago
Reply to  Fifi

My cheater brought a large Bible to our divorce and sat it on the table in front of him. I guess he thought he would impress the judge with his piety. I don’t think it worked the way he thought it would. He came across as raging jerk and I was awarded very generous alimony. Amen!

fighter
fighter
7 years ago

LOL! The best thing about narcissists is that they don’t exactly realise how other people truly perceive them (cos they are too self centred and self absorbed), which can work in your favour, just like in your case!

Martha
Martha
7 years ago

I guess in a way he had the book thrown at him! 🙂

ChumpNoMore
ChumpNoMore
7 years ago

Oh wow. What a moron. Raging jerk for sure. Yuk

CharityFroggenhall
CharityFroggenhall
7 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

Yea verily.

Virago
Virago
7 years ago

Rimshot!

Martha
Martha
7 years ago

I had a Jesus Cheater, too. When we were in counseling with our pastor, when we (I was!) were supposed to be working on our marriage (he was working on divorce behind my back!), my Jesus Cheater would “pray” each morning with me before we went to work. It was one of the things I wanted him to do with me. I was praying to Jesus. I’m not sure who he was praying to. Now, who could it be? Could it be………Satan? My Jesus Cheater even went up to the front of church many times (I went with him a few times), knelt at the altar, got anointed with oil and prayed to (?) whether he should divorce me so he could start a new life with his AP. Well, isn’t THAT special! Just because someone goes to church and prays doesn’t mean that they follow what the Bible says. I know for a fact that the Bible says not to commit adultery and also to “rejoice in your youth.” Not rejoice in as many ho-workers as you can. My Jesus Cheater is an expert with words like Not This Girls, Jesus Cheater. I agree with CL. Dump him and keep God. Trust me that these expert Jesus Cheaters never change!

Thankful
Thankful
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Jesus cheaters who raise their hands, pray in tongues, run ministries and shake when they get prayed for at every given opportunity, yet lie, cheat, deceive, manipulate, project and act as if they are as pure as the driven snow once they finally dump their load of shit at the feet of their unsuspecting chumps, now isn’t that special?

CharityFroggenhall
CharityFroggenhall
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

“Not rejoice in as many ho-workers as you can.”

SNICKER. “Ho-worker.” May the deity of your choice bless you for this!

Glinda
Glinda
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Ah, the ole church lady from SNL. Haven’t thought of that skit in years. Doubt the younger ones get that one. Saw Dana Carvey in concert once a long time ago. Probably the funniest stand-up I have been to. Thanks for the thoughts, sorry about the rest.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Glinda

I believe he was funniest you’ve seen. He was GREAT on SNL! 🙂

zardeenah
zardeenah
7 years ago
Reply to  Glinda

Church Last was just the cold open on SNL a few weeks ago! Bringing the phrase “isn’t that special” to a whole new generation.

And LW, even if God forgives this guy, don’t let anyone at church tell you he’s changed and deserves your forgiveness. Every Jesus cheater says the same thing. Forgiveness ≠ lack of consequences. You’re not at fault. Kicking him out doesn’t make you “bitter”. Stay strong! I hope your church community is your rock here. It’s so sad that many women have to divorce their cheater and their churches. : (

Whatever happens, you can do it, and don’t let anybody get you down.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

“rejoice in the WOMAN of your youth.” 🙂

Percival
Percival
7 years ago

Am I the only one who threw up in their mouths after reading that?

No More Assholes
No More Assholes
7 years ago
Reply to  Percival

Jesus cheaters are just amazing…. They think that the betrayed spouse with believe that God has magical powers and just make theirs sins be OK. They use God as a cure-all for cleaning up their mess. I see some bad Karma comming their way. They are so selfish and narcotic thinking,hey, if I pray a lot, and God forgives me, then poof! I’m magically off the hook! And how dare you betray God? These narcisists are in the same vein as creepy child molesters that hide behind religion and use it to justify their pedofile fetishes. Think Warren Jeffs, how he prayed with 12 year old girls before he had sex with them? Anyone can pull any phrase out of the Bible and turn it into what they want. I really want to give Not This Girl a jedi hug and massive support. The fact that her Ex-husband sent her his prayers to God proves right there what a complete psychotic fuckwitt lying selfish cheating fucktard little scared boy he is! On a good note, and I’m sure that Not This Girl realizes this by now, that this case is a no-brainer! The fact that he used her for a new car, (what kind of man does that?), and went on a ski vacation with his whore, showing no remorse, (or sending prayers for her soul and spirit), (aren’t souls and spirit’s the same thing by the way?) Shows what kind of selfish fuck he is. Actions really do speak louder than words. Jesus cheaters are known to be elaborate and wordy, they know it helps with the special effects making what they want to say bright, colorful, dripping with metaphors and adjectives, and oh so sparkly!

A quick story about my dad who is a Jesus cheater. Mr. Christian Bible thumper who claimed to be so devout a Christian, magically fell head over heels in love with another Jesus freak, (who actually is a 4x divorced goldigger in the disguse of a “poor widow”). Yes he claims he was struck by Gods lightning when he met her. It was just so powerful and magical that he, at age 71 lied to his wife of 40 years for over a year and a half. Oh and of course his kids. He had a home business but needed to go to the post office to mail letters quite often throughout the day. One day his poor little conscies just couldnt take it any more, and he decided to relieve himself of his affair. Of course he chose the perfect time when his youngest daughter was about to have a kidney transplant, and his other daughter was 7 months pregnant with twins, and has been on strict bedrest for the last 4 months, and suffering from bad pre-eclampsia, and our mom was taking care of us both. Yes he couldn’t have chosen a better time to relieve HIS poor conscious. He told my mom that it was Gods doing that they met, and he was totally in love with Bonnie the “poor widow” (4x divorced godigging whore). That God had brought them together, and it was his duty to take care of her and her grown children. Hello, both of your own kids are on their deathbeds here and you are cheating on your wife, their only caregiver. Yes these Jesus freaks are a headcase. My mom was blind sighted to say the least. He wanted her to move out of her house that she built and remodeled. When she said no-way, he said, but where will I go? I’ll just have to sleep in my car. (Que big passive aggressive siiiiiigggghhhhh……). It was actually me who put all of his clothes and things and put them in the trash. My mom couldnt do it at the time. My dad told her the next week that on Christmas, he went to a church and laid down in front of the alter and begged for Gods forgiveness. (Self sacrificial lamb of God perhaps?). But my mom saw through that bulshit and rolled her eyes. Then he started writing letters to his kids explaining the affair, and how God made him fall in love with his whore. He quoted many lame Bible verses. He did the same thing, and asked God to forgive US!
His kids! Like we were the sinners because we are angry and ignoring him and his magical divine right love for this poor widow! It’s complete madness. After 40 years of marriage, my dad fucks over his wife and 4 kids for this woman. Especially at such a crazy time in their lives. He tried counselling but only did Churchy Jesus counseling where they called him on his shit. My mom won’t divorce him for financial reasons, but moved away. He still writes his kids letters about church and Jesus and how we should all go to church and all live in the same house together and help each other out. Yes we are all adults in our 30’s and 40’s. I havchosen to completely ignore him and I dont answer his annoying letters and e-mails. No contact works! Here is the clincher after all of this. My dad wont leave his affair partner. He says it’s his duty to take care of this poor widow. (misogynist much?). And will he move back in with my mother and her and all of us kids so we can all live together as one big happy family? Yes! I’m not lying! This is the truth and he will not let up on the idea. Its complete Jesus freak insanity. He says that he sees the other woman as his sister and that they are not intimate together. That since he is still married to my mom, she, the other woman wont be intimate with him. So he wants to live with his old wife and new whore! Yes, this is why I won’t talk to him, there is no point.

To chumps, stay away from the Jesus freaks. They are the most scary and will give you the biggest manipulative mindfuck. They are the most selfish ones. Stay away and no contact. Thank you for allowing me to share my story. I hope I can make our fellow chumps have a good laugh. Sadly though it’s the truth.

Aunt Podger
Aunt Podger
7 years ago

No More Assholes, I actually think I kicked your dad’s ladyfriend out of my apartment, or you have an eerie coincidence happening. Does yours call herself Beloved Reverend Mother, and did she get defrocked in several churches because of her little habit of being “divinely called” to leave her current husband for a current parishioner? Be careful. Not only did this woman try poison my cat, she would dose her son with her thyroid meds to keep him from going out at night. If, by freakish coicidence, this is the same Jesus freak, watch after his health. She will make him sick for her own ends. Woman is a new, improved brand of evil. Do not let her near children.

hopiumrecovery
hopiumrecovery
7 years ago

Your co-producer is an absolute asshat. Wow. I feel bad for your family and especially your poor mom. Nobody should be dealing with this crazy.

KellyP
KellyP
7 years ago
Reply to  Percival

Rest assured that severe judgment is awaiting these people….twisting good into evil and all that….is the one unforgivable sin.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  KellyP

As my Cheater said to his Slut when setting up the drinks date, “I can’t wait to see you!!!” Well, I CAN’T WAIT until judgement comes to him and his slut.

Fifi
Fifi
7 years ago
Reply to  Percival

Nope, a lot of us did. I need a Lysol bath.

Chumpish
Chumpish
7 years ago
Reply to  Percival

No, you’re not. Green juice isn’t very tolerant. Should have cleaned the toilet instead.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
7 years ago
Reply to  Percival

It scared me, really. For a chump who believed/believes the cheater is sincere in their religion, it might be a terribly effective strategy to keep cake going, probably followed up with a chaser of counseling with a dimwit pastor whose only concern is the marriage, not the abused person in the marriage.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Percival

I just cleaned up its equivalent on the rug after my dog was left alone for too many hours.

Roberta
Roberta
7 years ago
Reply to  Percival

No Percival, I detected a bit of bile myself! My Ex used to tell Schmoopie that God was testing them and putting them through rough times so they would know there love was true and would experience true joy once they were together! YUCK! Schmoopie even texted me this nugget, “God has forgiven her and my husband each and every time they committed adultery because God knew they were weak and truly in love.” Really? Please! Yes, all this verbal nonsense is vomit worthy!

yo
yo
7 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

It takes a special kind of arrogance and grandiosity for someone to think they can speak for God. How do they know what God thinks?

Now-I-Know-What-Hell-Looks-Like
Now-I-Know-What-Hell-Looks-Like
7 years ago
Reply to  yo

After over a decade of Demon Spawn and I arguing about his porn addiction and habit of watching trashy programs on TV, even with my 11 yr. old Daughter in the room, and learning of his predilection for flirting around with and attempting to / succeeding in bedding down any of the college girls he was working with both at his regular job and his volunteer Fore Fighter gig, I decided to leave him. As soon as I informed him that I had found myself a new place to live and that I would be gone by the weekend, he spent a couple of days tearfully begging me to stay, he can’t live with me, blah, blah, blah. He went so far as to promise to find a new job and claim that he had had a dream in which he had been tempted by Satan and had vanquished him and decided that it meant that he was called by God to ministry and started going to church every Sunday and joining the BOD and becoming a Trustee while being mentored by our Pastor to become a Pastor himself. Being as naive and chumpy as I was, I fell for it and truly believed that he had seen the error of his ways and was serious about becoming a better Husband and person in general.

After a couple of years of regular church, weekly bible studies and numerous classes he was writing and delivering sermons himself and I thought “This is great, Jesus has shown His power and Grace in helping Demon Spawn turn his life round and become a righteous man. Yeah…I know you are shaking your heads.

In the meantime, DS found another job but ended up being laid off so had to find another. He did, as the Maintenance Manager in a Nursing/Rehab home. There was DS and 2 other guys working with approx. 70 different women. It was a wet dream come true. So now he’s got everyone believing he’s this great guy who lives for God and at work everyday he is messing around with any RN or CNA he can get alone with in his office or a vacant resident room and from what I learned, pretty much every one of them was more than willing. Sorry, Nurses out there, your profession is a major trigger for me, no offense.

So DS and our Pastor whom I have renamed Pastor Bastard, are having these private “Bible Studies” once a week which, once I was smart enough to start listening in on, turned out to be bragging sessions for DS to tell PB about his exploits in vivid detail. PB was obviously getting his jollies by living vicariously through DS. Meanwhile at home, I am getting all the typical Narc treatment, the anger, verbal abuse, ILYBINILWU, women are calling in the middle of the night with clogged toilet emergencies and I am told by a woman from church that according to DS, I had better stop being a control freak (the not allowing porn in my home) and get counseling for my “mental imbalance” because DS is planning to divorce me because I am a liar, a fake, etc………. which of course, was news to me. Learning this did explain why everyone in the entire church with the exception of 2 people, all of these devout Christians, turned their backs on me and believed all the lies. The best part though was when PB went around our small rural town and slandered me with gossip full of lies, despite the fact that he KNEW exactly what DS was doing. His way of defending DS’s actions was to say “God wants you to be happy so you need to divorce your wife so you can go be with one of your girlfriends who makes you happy.”

This is where I grew a set and 1) told DS I wanted a divorce 2) wrote a cease and desist letter to PB regarding the libelous gossip and when he didn’t stop, I contacted his district Superintendent, told him everything including how PB talked DS into resigning from the church so he could cover his own ass. I’m happy to report that Mr. Superintendent looked into the matter very thoroughly and PB was asked for his resignation. DS stopped trying to con GOD by dropping all the fake church stuff and even though I am still stuck with DS (for now) because of my health and financial situation, I have managed to get to Meh in regard to him and he really doesn’t mean much more to me anymore than the guy who carries the heavy stuff and kills the spiders.

I have PTSD and and am still working on ignoring triggers but for the first time in 25 years (3 years dating, 22 married), I am in the driver’s seat and calling the shots. DS is dancing like his life depends on it and although I don’t really get any pleasure from it. the Karma Bus has roared through and DS has finally been seen for who and what he really is and it has become a very lonely existence for him while I am starting to make some new friends and just joined the local Y for swim therapy for my medical issues including extensive spinal cord and nerve damage.

I thank God I found CL and CN! Reading here every day has taught me so much and has really helped me overcome my worst self doubt and guilt that what happened was my fault. And for that, I am eternally grateful!

Alexandra
Alexandra
7 years ago

My Mom has spinal issues and is married to a cheater (my Dad). I swear it’s a combo of targeting a chump (even just subconsciously) that may have medical issues and being very taxing to those that the cheater lives with.

I swear I aged about twice as fast with my cheater husband.

oaktree
oaktree
7 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

Holy shit! That is the most self-serving interpretation of Christianity I have ever seen.

violet
violet
7 years ago
Reply to  oaktree

OW actually compared herself to Mary Magdeline and my X to Jesus. See, he was being “persecuted” and I guess she was the whore who found redemption. You can’t make this stuff up. Recently, a friend sent me a link for a new church OW has joined. I watched it for sheer amusement. She is now interceding on behalf of others. I was not familiar with the term but I understand it to mean you are acting on behalf of a third party and soliciting God to help that person. I was tempted to send an e-mail to the pastor, but decided it wasn’t my circus anymore. The gall of these people. They sin to their hearts content and then presume they are in God’s grace sufficiently to advise Him who is worthy of His attention. Narcissists for Jesus!

Thankful
Thankful
7 years ago
Reply to  violet

“Narcissists for Jesus” l’m pretty sure I escaped the local branch when I ended my marriage to the deceptacon. As long as my cheater engaged in all the requirements set out for him by eldership they expected to be able to bring him to full restoration. When I refused to be bullied by their bullshit, I was the one in mortal peril. Within 12 months of confessing to 8 years of a hidden active double life he was allowed back into ministry. Eldership is so proud of their restoration poster child, they even helped him to groome his new victim.

What is the collective noun for a group of narcissists?

Lucky
Lucky
7 years ago
Reply to  Thankful

Thankful – I find more and more the church is full of narcasistic jack-a-ninnies who all pat themselves on the back for their abilities to save and forgive one another all transgressions ( as long as the money goes on the plate folks ).

I was married to a Minister who cheated on our marriage with another Minister. Two very public seperations and divorces.

I expected somebody ( anybody ?!?! ) to see that this was hypocritical within the church, especially with the clergy.

Nope.

Can’t say I go to church much any more !

Chatty
Chatty
7 years ago
Reply to  Thankful

A singularity of narcissists perhaps? A parade? A fanfare? An adulation?

Sausalito
Sausalito
7 years ago
Reply to  violet

Yes, Narcissists for Jesus! They can form a new church, and fight over who gets to be God.

Freebird
Freebird
7 years ago
Reply to  Sausalito

This is all too eerily familiar. My Narcissist Jesus Chester and his Mary Magdeline did try to start a church while he was still married (we were already separated). It fell apart pretty quickly once it became obvious they were a mating pair and he was still married to me. It’s a small town. Those secrets don’t stay secrets long. My cheater ex prays for me too…he and Mary Magdeline are married now.

This kind of crazy happens in the name of the Lord, but in the end God’s justice will prevail.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Sausalito

lol. 🙂

Roberta
Roberta
7 years ago
Reply to  violet

Wow Violet! And I thought my Ex and his OW were over the top! You are right though, you can’t make this shit up! Most people who haven’t experienced these types of narcissists think we are embellishing our stories and they can think what they would like, but I hope they never have to deal with this kind of crap in their lives.

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
7 years ago
Reply to  Percival

No. I’m cleaning up my desk right now. Oy.

StartofSomethingGood
StartofSomethingGood
7 years ago
Reply to  Rumblekitty

Ditto!

Kellia
Kellia
7 years ago

+3

Kelly
Kelly
7 years ago
Reply to  Kellia

Yes, I was nauseous, makes me realize evil does walk the face of the earth. His prayers seem creepy, even threatenin. Doesn’t the bible say something about discerning the fakers, those are the truly evil ones, the ones who pretend to be holy. I mean who could he really be praying to…..Satan? It certainly ain’t any deity Not This Girl knows.

Alexandra
Alexandra
7 years ago
Reply to  Kelly

+5, he seems like he might be dangerous, actually.

carolyn
carolyn
7 years ago

Wow. Just, wow. Luckily, God is even better than CL at seeing through prayer bs. Your ex seems to want to be very controlling of you and God. I think you should let your ex know that while faith is something you find very attractive in a partner, you don’t see him has being very faithful since belief and prayer can’t stand separate from self-reflection and relationship with God and a striving toward right living with God — and he is falling woefully short in those last two and doesn’t seem to be working to change that, just asking God to change how people view it. And it sounds like you are using your faith and staying close to God and letting him help you in right discernment. It was the right thing to do to pack up his stuff — but it could not have been easy and I imagine God was providing the rock beneath your feet every time you carried a trash bag of his crap out of the house. Blessings to you.

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago
Reply to  carolyn

Thanks Carolyn! Your encouragement means a lot to me. I have filed for divorce and moving forward with rebuilding my life. Still dealing with the shock of how someone could be so manipulative and deceitful.

AnnieW
AnnieW
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

Oh, Not This Girl, Jesus Cheaters are the worse kind of deceitful and manipulative because they think they have everyone fooled and that God is on their side.

My Jesus Cheater sat next to me in the choir in front of God and everybody holding my hand singing the praises of God all the while cheating on me .. several times. He’d go to Communion, smile at everyone, kiss me at the Sign of Peace, sing solos (there’s your real Jesus Cheater … all about the “show”). He even had the gall to tell me that he wasn’t committing adultery because she wasn’t married (well, it turns out she was but that was the secret she was withholding from him.) It didn’t matter that he was married. Only mattered if the woman was married. And, he went to Catholic School. Obviously missed that chapter on the Bible.

Do yourself a favor and dump his sorry butt. Let God hear his prayers because I’m hear to tell you that the God that I serve won’t make any of his prayers come to fruition. You, on the other hand, need to put your faith in God because He will give you beauty for the ashes that your husband has handed you.

Kristen
Kristen
7 years ago
Reply to  AnnieW

My Jesus cheater sat in our church holding OW’s hand! With my boys sitting in the pew on the other side of him, while I was at home sick. I still have no idea if any of our fellow congregants knew and didn’t bother to tell me. Needless to say, I dumped both my marriage and my church. I no longer believe in god, but if there is one, or some, there’s gonna need to be a serious reckoning somewhere down the road.

Thankful
Thankful
7 years ago
Reply to  AnnieW

Wow our cheaters could be twins, mine played keyboard most weekends while I led worship, then he began to lead at our night service. Would often go to other churches at play for special meetings, he even preached a couple of times. Would kiss me at the end of each meeting which would be seen by all as we always sat at the front. Would sit with his hand on my knee, but would avoid all intimacy at home. And the same idea, he had only had a brief affair, the oral sex he had had with numerous others didn’t count because in his mind it was not sex so his adultery was in the past. After d’day he continued to engage in a combined church event but had my involvement ended by going to the committee and telling them I had put him out and we were not able to fulfill our commitment. That didn’t stop him from going to the religious event as a committee member. Because they didn’t need to know what he had done as it was in his past.

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago
Reply to  AnnieW

Thanks Annie! Your words mean a lot to me!

Finding Bliss
Finding Bliss
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

So sorry you are in this terrible situation, Not That Girl. Hugs and genuine prayers are being sent your way. Many of us had Jesus cheaters. It is gut wrenching and mind boggling to find out that they think faith, scripture, and church are only “get out of jail free” cards. To be used cheaply and easily in lieu of consequences. Stay strong. God is faithful. We feel your pain.

Alexandra
Alexandra
7 years ago
Reply to  Finding Bliss

God doesn’t condone this treatment. I am not saying I can “read the mind of God” like some narcissist. But all throughout his word it doesn’t tolerate treating wives like this. The lying, betrayal etc etc etc.

When my husband left suddenly when our daughter was 9 months old, I prayed for what to do. Proverbs 5:15 came into my head. I had to look it up. I remember reading “drink from your own cistern.”

Paintwidow
Paintwidow
7 years ago

My Jesus cheater found Jesus after d day…..with his AP and her children.They blew up two families without even a second of remorse and then both got extremely involved in the church because NOW they are trying to be better people…..ummm…..okay.
I was never an overly religious person, but I actually think I’m the one Jesus found. He delivered me from that fuckwit and gave me an amazing new life, she got stuck with the cheater……amen.

kaycan
kaycan
7 years ago
Reply to  Paintwidow

Mine, too. He used to roll his eyes and complain about his Facebook friends posting religious stuff. I also had a good friend who married a minister. Every year, Cheater Ex would make some comment about the Christmas cards her family sent, “well, aren’t they religious.” Um… that’s kinda his job.

Then he found Jesus with OWhore. Started wearing a huge cross necklace, slapped a religious bumper sticker on his car. WTF-ever. When I read this UBT, my first thought was “OMG (sorry…), that’s exactly how he’s going to mindfuck OWhore when she catches him cheating!”

Mandie101
Mandie101
7 years ago
Reply to  kaycan

Mine has a ‘Christian’ girl on stand by. The one he worked with and spoke to hours on end day and night on his phone. The one he was at the movies with the day before he messaged me to say he needed God and prayer and salvation and wanted us to see counsellor. So I ask him about her and he says : she would never go out with married man or one that was not a Christian!. Yet she goes out with him and he is not a Christian not is he divorced. He said he keeps his dirty to himself and she keeps her conservativeness to herself. He was at pains to talk about what a prude she was…she can’t even say sex without fear of persecution. The woman is 39. What I can say from their conversations is that she can’t tell that he is training her to keep her expectations low and he really doesn’t give a shit about her either. But I predict that he will find Jesus and marry this girl to make it all look good.

oaktree
oaktree
7 years ago
Reply to  Paintwidow

Amen!

arlo
arlo
7 years ago

Just because they are saying nice words doesn’t mean No Contact isn’t necessary. In fact, maybe it’s even more necessary bc that is some crazy mindfuck right there.

Fifi
Fifi
7 years ago
Reply to  arlo

Arlo, you said it loud and clear. Please, block this evil snake on your phone!

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
7 years ago
Reply to  arlo

Cheater calls it prayer; we call it a mindfuck.

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  arlo

Yes, no contact is easier when you are shutting down obvious verbal harassment. But when they are sending you messages that at one time you longed to hear … it is a real mindfuck. NO CONTACT!!

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
7 years ago
Reply to  arlo

YES!

red
red
7 years ago

‘Keep God and dump the loser’ – I needed to hear this today. This mess has broken my family and broken me. It doesn’t have to destroy my faith too. Thank-you.

JX
JX
7 years ago
Reply to  red

Yes, red! I struggled in this way too. Christian counselors were telling me I should stay and so was my family. With people using scriptures like “God hates divorce,” I began to feel very disconnected from my faith. You have to trust the God that you know and not take on everyone else’s manipulative tactics to keep you in the marriage. Get on your knees and pray to God for discernment. When I did that, I could see all the evil things my stbx was doing in the dark. One night, for example, after I started praying and fasting, I woke up in the middle of the night and noticed that he stole my phone and my journal from my room (I kicked him out our bedroom) while I was sleep! Guess what he said– He was praying over it!!! He was praying that I wasn’t using my phone to commit sin! LOL! “Dude, YOU ARE THE CHEATER, not me!!” I asked him if God told him to steal my phone…and he said no, he went about it the wrong way. Pray for discernment and leave!

expatChump
expatChump
7 years ago
Reply to  JX

“Get on your knees and pray to God for discernment. When I did that, I could see all the evil things my stbx was doing in the dark.”

The same with me @JX. It was like a picture developed right before my eyes,

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  JX

Jeez, JX, praying over your journal and phone. Do these idiots realize how stupid they look? smh

Roberta
Roberta
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Tempest, I don’t believe these cheaters see how ridiculous they are at all. They get stuck in some fantasy romance mode along with all the flimsy “reasons” why they cheat on you with some Ho! My Ex wrote horrible, adolescent poetry to his Schmoopie and had I not been so broken at the time then I would have laughed my ass off at some of the crap he sent her. My young third grade grandson could have done better! My Ex and his Schmoopie got all the “God” invoking emotions into thier emails to each other and thier flowery, almost Shakespearian language of “everlasting love and devotion” in the face of such opposition from their spouses and families! You know the drill, “It just must be meant to be because we are still declaring our Twu wuv for each other through thick and thin” crap! Yuck! I read that shit now and I laugh my ass off! Funny part is that once they were “free” to actually pursue each other and live together, it fell apart in less than four months! Damn that stupid reality!!!!! It just ruined everything!

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
7 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

Yesterday someone made a brilliant post about the difference between intimacy and intensity, quoting a passage from Psychology Today. My apologies for not recalling now who did that, but the point is germane here. All that faux prayer, all the declarations of love and soul mate status, all the happy posing on social media is intensity. Not intimacy. I’ll try to look up who made that post yesterday. Brilliant observation and we need to recall it when chumps feel wobbly in the face of this junk.

blessingindisguise
blessingindisguise
7 years ago
Reply to  LovedaJackass

It was me. I have what my therapist calls “my lighthouse” which is something that keeps me grounded in moments when the gas-lighting and disbelief threaten my sanity (and I never questioned my sanity before). My lighthouse, in particular, is composed of a handful of really good quotes poached from a variety of places. It’s posted on my bulletin board so I can refer to it often. It really helps to remind me that no matter how sparkly and fun the stbxh looks, he’s lacking a few of the characteristics that make us human. Here’s one more quote, just for fun.

…The distinguishing characteristic of the diseases of nonattachment is the incapacity of the person to form human bonds. The life histories of people with such a disease reveal no single significant human relationship. The narrative of their lives reads like a vagrant journey with chance encounters and transient partnerships. Since no partner is valued, any one partner can be exchanged for any other, in the absence of love, there is no pain in loss. Indeed, the other striking characteristic of such people is their impoverished emotional range. There is no joy, no grief, no guilt, and no remorse. In the absence of human ties, a conscience cannot be formed; even the qualities of self-observation and self-criticism fail to develop… Selma Fraiberg

neverwouldhaveimagined
neverwouldhaveimagined
7 years ago

Yes, I am very familiar with the “emotional range of a teaspoon” problem. Thanks for your insightful quote gathering!

Kellia
Kellia
7 years ago

Blessingindesguise, omg, I got chills down my spine as I read that quote. Especially the part where it says in the absence of human connections, a conscience cannot be formed. Wow. It explains a lot actually for some of the sociopaths I’ve encountered in my life. I’ve copied and pasted the quote, it’s so good and thank you so much for sharing!!

Marked711
Marked711
7 years ago

Ditto. My first therapist said people like my xW cannot feel real love like we do. They understand intensity and figure that must be love because it stirs them. I almost feel sorry for them, but then I wake up and put down the hopium pipe. 🙂

deepn
deepn
7 years ago

Interestingly my cheater is exactly the opposite (on the surface) – her life is filled with friends. But here’s the catch, now I am realizing she only keeps close the friends who accept her bullshit rationalizations and who nodded sympathetically as she cavorted (on my dime) with an un-employed alcoholic with an opiate pain-killer addiction because he was able to ‘connect’ with her like I couldn’t. Since I don’t drink to excess or take mass quantities of pain-killers I have to admit I’m not able to connect the same way he can. For that I thank any deity who will listen. Of course since he was un-employed he also had a lot of free time to text and call her which I don’t because I actually work for a living and take care of the kids A LOT. The proverbial ‘match made in heaven’. Her friends (and partners) are valued, but only to the extent they support her entitlement to cake.

willowtree
willowtree
7 years ago

wow this is a great quote, Blessing – just added it to my “Lighthouse” (love that term – thanks for that too)

JK
JK
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Hmm, what is the right word? Horseshit. Praying over them, was he? Couldn’t have prayed the same prayer without secretly snatching up and examining your stuff? Nope, he came “like a thief in the night” because that’s what people like him do.

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

JX, God told him to try to find out how much you knew, how much you suspected, and when. And God told him to see who you might have told. God probably also wanted him to see if you also had a “special friend” to neutralize his bad behavior. So how could you complain? He was doing God’s will!

I don’t think he was praying at all.

Jennie Jay
Jennie Jay
7 years ago

Sweet Lord Jesus this shit is FUNNY. I believe He is working thro you today CL. Simply inspired. Xx

Doingme
Doingme
7 years ago

The Limited found a HOLE(y) one who approached me numerous times taunting ME for years and then went on to tell me she was a Christian woman who wanted to make peace with ME.

Well the devil comes in many forms. The limited as many narcs believe they are GOD. Regardless of what they hide behind, actions tell the truth.

Using religion to adjust the mask?
Bless you, I’m getting a diviorce works.

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
7 years ago
Reply to  Doingme

There has to be a special place in hell for these losers who deliberately hurt people so completely and then want to be friends in the name of Jesus.

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago

Amen! I agree completely!

Fifi
Fifi
7 years ago

God, I hope so.

divorcinganarcissistblog
divorcinganarcissistblog
7 years ago

I’m getting daily prayers from my narcissistic soon to be ex-husband. He prays for me and sends me light and love so that I can find the things in life that will truly make me happy. Its so sweet of him to do really, I should be more thankful to have someone like that in my life!! [hope you note the sarcasm here]

Lyn
Lyn
7 years ago

You should tell him he’s ruining religion for you. LOL

Chumpish
Chumpish
7 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

or, instead of a blessing he’s just a lesson. Remember that bumper-sticker: Jesus is coming, and boy is he pissed!

Fifi
Fifi
7 years ago
Reply to  Chumpish

I love that bumper sticker, Chumpish!

divorcinganarcissistblog
divorcinganarcissistblog
7 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

If only it were that easy! I would get some lengthy text about how I need to be more compassionate and open up my heart to God’s messages. Because, you know, God speaks directly through narcissists only.

Paintwidow
Paintwidow
7 years ago

DivorcingNarcissistblog, the funny part to us and confusing part to him is that he really does think he’s fucking awesome to send you that shit, and you should be more compassionate and thankful for him ( please note MY sarcasm here)
He’s an idiot.

Chumpish
Chumpish
7 years ago

Bahahahaha! God speaks directly thru narcissists only. X has/had a disturbing website advertising, I kid you not, “Christian Affairs.” God ruined his life, you see. He’s getting revenge. Hell to pay, so to speaketh. How fucked up is he?

MidlifeBlast
MidlifeBlast
7 years ago
Reply to  Chumpish

This is very interesting as when I was “happily” married, my ex would matter-of-factly say things like “I just had a conversation with God” which I would find quite shocking, like his arrogance was deeply shocking to me. And then I felt bad… Maybe he actually was talking to God and I was a non believer.

validated
validated
7 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

Ah Lyn, that would just be kibbles, any response is kibbles.

QueenMother
QueenMother
7 years ago

I think you could sincerely ask that every word of Mr. God’s prayer be answered. The answer will probably be quite a bit different from what Mr. God had in mind, though.

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago
Reply to  QueenMother

His prayers were answered. I filed for divorce, going to therapy, and I’m starting to rebuild the pieces of my life. However, as all of us can attest- it is difficult when you have been midnfucked for seven years of marriage ( together for 12). This website and you MIGHTY chumps have given me strength on so many days when I wanted to believe he was a unicorn.

Roberta
Roberta
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

NotThisGirl, I always try to remember that God will not only put people in your life to enrich your joy, but God will also remove people from your life to protect you. It may seem unfair, devastating and heartbreaking when awful things happen, but as a Christian if you truly believe God has already planned your life then you know he may take something or someone out of the big picture, but if you are faithful God will bring something better into your life. Just be patient and believe that you and God know you deserve better. I know it hurts. My marriage was nearly 42 years and imploded due to his infidelity. I filed for divorce much to my dismay and religious upbringing. I also got tons of guilt and criticism from my own kids, but I triumphed in the divorce and my family finally came around and realized I did the right thing.I thought my life was over and wasted, but it will get better.

Chump Princess
Chump Princess
7 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

“I always try to remember that God will not only put people in your life to enrich your joy, but God will also remove people from your life to protect you. It may seem unfair, devastating and heartbreaking when awful things happen, but as a Christian if you truly believe God has already planned your life then you know he may take something or someone out of the big picture, but if you are faithful God will bring something better into your life.”

Thank you Roberta. I always take such solace and pleasure from reading your posts and I really needed that little reminder today about our time and God’s time. Even though the light may dim because it is far off right now, we can take encouragement because there is a light and we are moving toward it.

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

Thanks for sharing Roberta! I am believing that like you said God has removed him from my life to protect me. But I certainly loved him beyond measure. There wasn’t a day that went by where I didn’t tell him how thankful I was for him. I truly believed he was the answer to my prayers. I was more in love with him than when we first married. However, the more I look back over our relationship, there were clues to his hidden life. I just don’t think they were big enough for me to want to walk away. Again, thanks for being such a light and encouragement to me. It’s nice to hear that you can come out on the other side, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and my better days are ahead of me. Work through the pain!!

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

Better days are certainly ahead of you. So keep doing what you’re doing, and protect yourself. Cheaters have a nasty habit of circling back around for seconds. No is the correct answer.

Roberta
Roberta
7 years ago
Reply to  Survivor

NotThisGirl, Survivor is bang on! He WILL circle back around and tell you he has made a huge mistake. Mine has and I have decided to let him keep circling and OWN his mistake! I gave him so many chances and he just crapped on me! Once Schmoopie dumped him then he was really sorry (no kibbles)! Sociopaths always keep you in thier Rolodex. Be wary!

Chumptastic Chump
Chumptastic Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  QueenMother

Yes! Re-read his prayer in the context of finding the strength to leave the cheater…I hope THAT prayer is answered!

ChumpDad
ChumpDad
7 years ago

God permits divorce in only two situations; adultery is one. My Jesus-cheater XW said it was God that made her finally say these [blaming] words to me. She also said I was sinning when I took communion before forgiving her. Right. Yet when the pastor told her that continuing to see the OM was a sin, she replied that she didn’t care. Oh, and take communion in the morning and blowing the OM in the afternoon is just fine according to her. Got it.

Church and religion is just another cover, another mask that these idiots wear.

JK
JK
7 years ago
Reply to  ChumpDad

My wife was a serial cheater for the vast majority of our 20-year marriage. She sat in church with her husband and kids on Sunday, and was screwing her bosses on Monday. I still cannot understand how she could justify that, but maybe it’s like CL says, “Whatever I want, God wants.”

Anyway, she wants me to know she’s praying for me – “so at least I got that goin for me.”

chumpty chumpty bang bang
chumpty chumpty bang bang
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

lol, your sooo blessed! Unfreakinbelievable!!

Pauline
Pauline
7 years ago

My first cheater /abusing husband used the God card on me, I was going to hell if i didn’t forgive him as he had seen the light. He was very concerned about my soul, yes I’m on my second, when will you ever learn rings very loud in my head.

I’m an atheist so it was the one and only mind game that didn’t work on me. What I am sure of is if there is a God he doesn’t want this for you, and one day your husband will have to answer for all the things he has done and is doing. You have a soul and know how to behave you don’t need any help or lessons from your husband.

Don’t let him taint your faith, what happens between you and your God is yours and he has no place there.

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago
Reply to  Pauline

Thanks Pauline, I am taking strength from your words! “What I am sure of is if there is a God he doesn’t want this for you, and one day your husband will have to answer for all the things he has done and is doing. You have a soul and know how to behave you don’t need any help or lessons from your husband”

Kimhopes
Kimhopes
7 years ago
Reply to  Pauline

Hi Pauline,
I too am an atheist with a religious cheater. I know the problem is with their characters. Choosing to do the right thing is an internal decision that should be enhanced by religious belief. I feel bad for all the chumps who have their faith shaken by their abusers. I hope they realise that they weren’t true Christians to begin with. Cheaters are just entitled cowards.

Divorce Minister
Divorce Minister
7 years ago

The whole prayer lacks a sense and awareness that HE created this heartache. It is a deliberate decision to take a ski trip with the OW. It is not a general clamity. He made this mess. Yes, this comes across as a way for him to manipulate. Perhaps tell him to stop sending text prayers. If he is sincere, God will hear him in his “prayer closet.” If he doesn’t stop, then you have further evidence that the prayers are just an extension of his manipulation game.

lovinglife
lovinglife
7 years ago

Surely these prayers border on harassment. The Devil is a liar. Those ain’t prayers for your good. Those are curses.

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago

That is one of the most frustrating parts! He has taken ZERO responsibility for the torment, devastation, and pain he has caused me. It is as if all is forgiven because he is a Christian. I love God and for me true repentance is when you change your ways. Since I have filed for divorce, he has gone back to the OW. He is now living with her part-time and going on vacations together. Thankfully, I got a lawyer, filed for divorce, and I’m doing everything I can to make it out of this pain and nightmare.

Kimberly
Kimberly
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

NTG – You’ll get there – your taking all the right steps.

Michael
Michael
7 years ago

Yes, his entire prayer is just a sideways attempt to show how benevolent he is. The fact that he made sure you knew about it shows that. It’s insulting to you and God, bringing God’s name into for his own gain. If he was genuine and filled with Godly sorrow he would approach you differently.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
7 years ago

Yes, doesn’t the Bible tell people not to pray loudly in public, as in drawing attention to themselves?

Christina
Christina
7 years ago

“She may divorceth me and rain the hot coals of consequences upon my head”… LOL, I love your writing, Tracy! I’m on chapter 4 of “leave a cheater, gain a life”, really leaning on these resources as I broke NC and had coffee with him after he showed up at a running club he said I could have (he promised not to come anymore) over the weekend. More gas lighting ensued. It wasn’t a “take me back” talk, but he wanted to “give me closure”, of which I got none because he just lies and lies and lies.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
7 years ago
Reply to  Christina

And he lied about not coming to the running club. So right there you know he hasn’t changed. If you see him coming, cross the street. He’s begging for kibbles.

BetterDays
BetterDays
7 years ago

There’s something extra creepy about a cheater delivering a prayer like this. For some reason, makes me think of a serial killer giving a benediction as he’s murdering someone.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
7 years ago
Reply to  BetterDays

It reminds me of a text I received from ex on what would have been our 26th anniversary. Said he was thinking about me and that he prayed I was happy with Nice Guy and that he prayed Nice Guy treated me well and we were truly blessed and happy together. Creepy and weird.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

What a jerk, Gladit’sover. That is creepy and weird. Reminds me of my predator STBXH who “remembers” ex-ho-workers (females only of course!) birthdays and sends them a Happy Birthday message each year. It’s like they just can’t let ANY women they are the least bit interested in go. Even an ex!

Kellia
Kellia
7 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

I hope you responded that you hadn’t given him a second thought.

Fifi
Fifi
7 years ago
Reply to  BetterDays

Yes, it is creepy. Hannibal Lecter creepy.

JK
JK
7 years ago
Reply to  BetterDays

I had the same reaction. You maliciously carve the heart out of a person that loves you, then you want them to know you are praying for them to heal. Its creepy, and I don’t want them praying for me. If they do, I don’t want to know about it. Telling you is just manipulation, and an attempt at damage control.

They could show genuine remorse and concern for our healing by telling the whole truth about what you did, and agreeing to a fair divorce settlement. My EW did neither, but she wants me to know she is praying for me. Such a fraud of a person.

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago
Reply to  JK

Thanks JK! You’re right- he did maliciously carve out my heart and tried relentlessly to manipulate me. Your ew-wife and my soon to be ex-husband are both frauds and liars! Thankfully, I have support of family & friends, plus this website to help me see through the bullshit! Hope you find your “meh”!

Soldiering On
Soldiering On
7 years ago
Reply to  BetterDays

Robert Mitchum in “Night of the Hunter”. Scariest movie I’ve ever seen.

oaktree
oaktree
7 years ago
Reply to  BetterDays

Samuel Jackson in Pulp Fiction?

happily never after
happily never after
7 years ago
Reply to  oaktree

see below. “And I will strike down upon thee…”

Better Days
Better Days
7 years ago

Ha! Yes! I had completely forgotten about that Pulp Fiction scene but apparently it was lurking in my subconscious.

Cindy
Cindy
7 years ago

Nah – It’s more like “Ricky Bobby – Talledega Nights”: “Dear Lord, baby Jesus, all cute and cuddly” please make my wife bestoweth more kibbles upon thy heavenly self.”

Peaceful chump1111
Peaceful chump1111
7 years ago

Oh yes. Mind fuck at its best. I had one of these too. We did pre marital bible studies together, we went to church on a regular basis. He was a social worker who helped adults with disabilities. Great person on the surface, but huge problems with integrity and fidelity. It’s the worst when they use your faith – the most important thing to you and try to manipulate you with it. I still pray for him and hope he turns things around I’ve forgiven him, but the marriage is done. Too much mind fuck and trust issues for me. I’m out. Even with two kids 5 and 2. If it was up to me I’d just never see him again but we do have to coparent. When someone twists you that bad all you want to do is RUN the longer you’ve been away and have time to realize how messed up he is.

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago

These types of guys are so dangerous. They make you think they are the ultimate good guys. My soon to be ex is still walking around like he is Captain America. What is worse- is his job as a police office allows him to continue to feel superior and good about himself. After D-Day, when I was still believing in unicorns, I met him for lunch to bring him a change of clothes for church. As we are sitting down, he spots two little kids eating with their Dad. He proceeds to walk over and hands them stickers and literally pats them on the head. It was so disgusting- here he was treating me like trash, and unbeknownst to me still seeing the OW and yet he felt compelled to look like a fucking domestic HERO!! I called him out right there and said, ” that makes you feel like a celebrity or something”. Your social worker ex-husband and my ex cheating- cop both see themselves as people of great morality and values. They truly are disordered. However, coming to that truth is soooooo painful and devastating. Glad you made the decision to leave- I know its beyond difficult.

Paintwidow
Paintwidow
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

My ex is a firefighter/ paramedic…..same thing.
He can save a life with those hands, and dismantle the lives of the people that loved and trusted him and not even look back.
Asshole….
But, that job is nothing but s never ending kibble dispenser. Good luck to the AP, she’s gonna need it.

Karma Express
Karma Express
7 years ago

God, I plead at the foot of your throne…

Not This Girl, please make your cheater plead at the foot of the family court judge’s bench and hope that the judge gives him no mercy. You are strong. Go file and take him to the cleaners.

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago
Reply to  Karma Express

Your comment brought a smile to my face! 🙂

Karma Express
Karma Express
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

I’m so glad! Keep smiling, even behind the tears and the rage.

BetterDays
BetterDays
7 years ago

Hilarious as usual, CL!

“Shadow her, God, and monitor her comings and goings, for she may divorceth me and rain the hot coals of consequences upon my head, and smite me with lawyers.”

Heh heh heh heh heh. I can’t wait to smite The Entitled One with lawyers.

And this: “God/Me would like to remind you of the way I love on you, in only that way that I can. Remember? Huh, huh? Remember the good times?”

That line in his “prayer” was creepily sexual. God/Me totally captures it.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago
Reply to  BetterDays

This.

uneffingbelievable
uneffingbelievable
7 years ago

Not This Girl – take his prayer and change the pronouns. Change “she” and “her” to “me”, to “my” and “I”. Say that prayer for yourself as you leave this hypocrite in your dust. He is not the man you thought you married. When you waiver, remember with clarity how you felt standing in the driveway while he left you there to go be with another woman.

Sicker still, he’s hiding behind god’s robes and is using YOUR faith to manipulate you. Like he’s on god’s team now. Where was his faith when he was schtooping the whore at a ski resort? Let me guess: SATAN got hold of him! Satan the scapegoat! You are a believer so believe that there is a special place in hell for people who use god for their greed.

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago

“He is not the man I thought I married!!” Isn’t that the truth!! The fucking kick in the pants. You nailed it. Thank you for your words- when I waiver I will go back to that day standing in the driveway. I will never forget that feeling!

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

It’s really jarring to realize that the person you love was never the person you thought they were. But deceitful people are very good at what they do. And using the new car you gave him to impress an OW should be all you need to trust he sucks.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Survivor

I can’t agree with you more! So many times I said to him, “WHO ARE YOU?” Believe or not, but one time he said, “I don’t know.” SCARY!!! One things for sure: He’s a great liar!

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago
Reply to  Martha

Martha- my ex said the same thing when I asked him who he was. He just looked at me with a blank stare and said “He didn’t know”.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

Wow, NTG. Unnerving, hey? Like, how can you not know who you are?

JX
JX
7 years ago

Girl, all I want you do to is BELIEVE THEY HE SUCKS!! I have a Jesus cheater too! He sends me long emails telling me all this Biblical stuff he is learning and how he’s grown. If you were friends with him, you would think that he plays golf with Paul in he mornings and sups with Jesus every night. Like you, I fell in love with him (we were married 11 years) because he was so nice and so godly! When I found out about his 14 month affair, which the OW’s husband had already ended, he got reBAPTIZED!!! He started everything to try to keep me. I stayed for 6 months and then separated. I advise any chump who cannot bring herself to believe truly that he sucks to just separate. Not only will you gain clarity in your thinking and peace of mind, but it will also help you legally if you decide to divorce. Separating gave me the distance I needed watch his behaviors and see that they weren’t godly, even in the midst of his long, Biblical emails and texts, professing his Agape love for me. I believe if you give it time, the cheater will show his satanic spirit, loud and clear. He will want to explain away bad behaviors, which is why you must go no contact. You MUST!!! Don’t worry about the words of the cheater. Our first counselor told me right in front of him, “WATCH HIS BEHAVIORS CAREFULLY [during six months she asked me to stay] AND EVERYDAY DECIDE IF THIS IS HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.”

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago
Reply to  JX

I read your post to my Mom because it was so funny! hahaha ” You would think he plays golf with Paul”. I am still laughing. Thanks for brightening my day. Also- you are right about watching his actions. Once I filed for divorce and went no contact- he is back together with the OW ( living with her and taking trips).

Hell2theNo
Hell2theNo
7 years ago

You say: Amen and thank you for your prayers. God has answered them all and MORE! He has given me the freedom and peace to divorce your sorry ass. Walk in peace, brother. Walk (far, far away from me) in peace.

You can forgive someone, and still decide to have nothing more to do with them. Thank you, Lord!

Hang strong, Sister Friend!

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago
Reply to  Hell2theNo

Thanks Sister Friend! Amen and Amen- walking away now.

denvergirl
denvergirl
7 years ago

Words from him. Nothing but words, not worth the paper they are written on…. wait it was a text, that makes them worth .00. Or less. His actions speak for him. He can not hide from God or himself. You might want to block him, he offers nothing in remorse, repentance.

ANC
ANC
7 years ago

Buhwah haha! I fucking HATE Jesus cheaters. Those asshole who hide behind the tenants of their faith (the rectum of wonder, bible spouting, MOW in my case).

Block this idiot, Not This Girl.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago

NTG, the thing that stood out to me was the end of your letter. He hasn’t yet taken true responsibility. That is the keystone of the entire situation. As a police officer, he has likely even had specific training around issues of accountability. If he of all people isn’t being fully accountable, he’s showing you that he isn’t sincerely motivated to do the work that’s necessary to offer you a trustworthy partner.

For a long time I felt twisted up about whether my ex “really loved” me. In the end, I decided that he might really love me the best way he knows how, and that is why he seemed so sincere, but his way of loving me was poisoning my life. Whether he really loved me or not wasn’t the issue. His sincerity wasn’t the issue. His behavior was the issue, and his behavior simply didn’t fit into my definition of a monogamous, healthy marriage.

Strength to you.

AwakeningDreamer
AwakeningDreamer
7 years ago

I’m sorry that this happened to you; stay connected to this blog and get into the archives. I bought and read the book too.
I think whether you believe your Cheater is personality disordered or not the thing to remember is that they hide their true selves from us and don’t bare themselves before us.

Vulnerability is a struggle for them.

StartofSomethingGood
StartofSomethingGood
7 years ago

My ex was also a Jesus cheater. Actually he was really just a sociopath in Christian clothing. He once told me God told him it was the right thing to do to leave his wife and child and go be with the OW. The sad part about this was it was a Christian reconciliation website that did the most damage to me. I “stood” for my marriage for over a year, believing the bs that he was in the fog and I could pray him back. Landed me in the hospital. When I got well enough is when I found CL and Chump Nation. Needless to say, I’m much better now divorced from the crazy! “BE HEALED!”

Martha
Martha
7 years ago

“Sociopath in Christian clothing”. My STBXH used to LICK THE TEARS OFF MY FACE LIKE A DOG when I would cry. I mentioned this to my sister after D-Day and the first thing out of her mouth was “sociopath.” Both of my counselors and psychiatrist (med doctor) were like, eeeew and “somethings not right with him” when I mentioned the tear licking. I couldn’t agree more!

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
7 years ago

Sociopath in Christian clothing, YES!! My ex wrote that God sent him the OW to cure him from his gay desires.

Heather
Heather
7 years ago

Wow. No words. I had one of those too. I have a strong stomach or i wouldn’t be able to keep my luch down. What a shit head! I hope she runs and never looks back. She should leave her church too. They will want nothing but reconciliation! And that will bring tremendous guilt and spiritual abuse.

KarenE
KarenE
7 years ago
Reply to  Heather

Some churches and pastors deal very realistically with adultery and judging people by their behaviour. She may be able to keep her church and drop the husband. But hopefully even if her church is also manipulative, telling her she has to stay, she can keep her faith strong.

Phoenix2016
Phoenix2016
7 years ago
Reply to  KarenE

I belong to a conservative Southern Baptist church, and have been surprised at how supportive the pastor and other members have been to me. I have also seen a Christian counselor, who herself divorced her cheating husband years ago and remarried.

StartofSomethingGood
StartofSomethingGood
7 years ago
Reply to  Heather

You are so right, Heather. So much reconciliation nonsense can bring tremendous guilt and spiritual abuse. The whole healing process can take that much longer. My faith and relationship with God has been damaged because of it. Skip right to the divorce. Jesus Himself said of divorce – except for martial infidelity. It’s there for a reason. God knew the devastation adultery would cause. IMO.

Deedee
Deedee
7 years ago

Not religious at all but cheater did tell me not to “torment” myself by asking questions or dwelling on OW.You see it wasn’t what he had done that was a cause of torment to me,it was my reaction apparently.Too many bothersome questions,too much searching for the truth.
The devil can cite scripture for his purpose NTG.

Chatty
Chatty
7 years ago

My mouth was hanging open by the end of that “prayer”. What a hide! Isn’t he afraid to mock God like that?

Definitely smite him with a divorce lawyer.

Fifi
Fifi
7 years ago
Reply to  Chatty

I say unto you, smite him seventy times seven.

renewed
renewed
7 years ago

Prayers, church, and bible study I too have seen it all. We forget that Satan’s minions also attend church and he knows scripture better than we do. I agree with the others, God calls us to live in peace. He has provided you with recourse to divorce a non-repentant cheater and God would not want you to be ignorant about what’s happening in your life.
The scriptures also talk about men who manipulate women. Keep your faith. It never ceases to amaze me when people use God to do evil. His reaping will be extraordinary. The only ingredient that’s missing is illness.

PucksMuse
PucksMuse
7 years ago

Wait wait wait, so the problem is with your doubt and your soul and your fear, not his cheating? You’re damaged and he’s what? The best Christian ever?

I have an idea for a return text, “God, please keep his penis in his pants tonight. Please help him remember that there was nothing in the wedding vows about ‘forsaking all others unless those others have a really nice rack.’ Please remove his lust and his selfishness and replace them with the emotional maturity of someone more three years old. Deliver unto him in an unending prescription for herpes medication. Remove the scales from his eyes and let him see that actions have consequences. Take the gaping wound in his soul and fill it with whatever balm that will keep him seeking out validation through his genitals. Please remind him that I had a close relationship with you before he betrayed me, I’ll continue to have a close relationship with you after he betrayed me, and I DON’T NEED HIM TO TRY TO INTERVENE ON MY BEHALF WITH YOU. And help him find peace in the solitude, because I am leaving him behind and never thinking about him again. Amen.”

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

Perfect “comeback prayer”!!

Chump Princess
Chump Princess
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

Pucksmuse,

And when is your tent revival meeting? I will be there! Speak it Sister! Speak it!

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

Oh, yes! The First Global Chump Church is rocking today!

CalamityJane
CalamityJane
7 years ago
Reply to  Survivor

Survivor, I LOVE Ry Cooder. This is incredible. Two of my favorite people in one day. Samuel and Ry. I know Ry is not a cheater, either. Thank you, thank you!

Current Chump
Current Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

I LOVE this prayer!!! AMEN indeed!

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

Praying now! Thanks for the insight and good laugh

PucksMuse
PucksMuse
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

YAY! My smartassery has served a purpose today!

Fifi
Fifi
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

Awe. Some. Ly. Brilliant. Pucksmuse, best comeback prayer ever.

PucksMuse
PucksMuse
7 years ago
Reply to  Fifi

I think the phrase “comeback prayer’ needs to become part of the cultural lexicon

Roberta
Roberta
7 years ago
Reply to  Fifi

This stuff is so great! It helps to know that I wasn’t the ONLY person dealing with a total wing nut! Pucksmuse is on a roll, LOVE THAT PRAYER!

Chumpish
Chumpish
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

Excellent! Speak it, girl! Cast those demons out!

Virago
Virago
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

Hallelujah to the max!!

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

That’s brilliant, Pucksmuse!

HeLovesMeHeLovesMeNot
HeLovesMeHeLovesMeNot
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

That’s perfect, Love it!!!!

StartofSomethingGood
StartofSomethingGood
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

Awesome!!!

Lyn
Lyn
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

Love it, Pucksmuse!!!

Better Days
Better Days
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

Hahahahahaha. That’s phenomenal!

PucksMuse
PucksMuse
7 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

I’m afraid my “laying on of hands” would mostly consist of slapping.

Chatty
Chatty
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

Haaaaahahaha…we could anoint him with oil too. Boiling oil.

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  Chatty

lol 🙂

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

lol! 🙂

sephage
sephage
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

HA!!!! Awesome!

KarenE
KarenE
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

This!!!!

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

Brilliant!!!! I really hope she sends him that. ?

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
7 years ago

I’m an anthropologist, and I will suggest that he knows how to fit in within the culture of your church, but his actions demonstrate that he does not *practice* your faith. As a church outsider, I have often observed that various traditions of Christianity have their own distinct language. He is speaking that language to you as a tool because he is not succeeding in his manipulation through the language of normal people. (Normal = non-cheaters.) In other words, being able to talk the talk does not mean he will walk the walk.

I also echo Chump Lady’s observation that his text “prayers” are all about how you’re broken, and not about how he is broken. Has he sent you any prayers that ask for his own redemption? For forgiveness for the damage he’s done? For his weakness? For his lies? Has he asked God to fill his heart with truth and love rather than lust and deception? (Those would probably still be bullshit, but at least it wouldn’t be the subtle blameshift he’s giving you now.)

As an aside, I’m not especially religious, but c’mon, he’s texting prayers? God answers texts? If he was authentic in his prayers, he would PRAY. He’s texting you his prayers because he wants credit for them. That’s about as inauthentic and disingenuous as it gets.

Better Days
Better Days
7 years ago
Reply to  Free Vixen

“I’m an anthropologist, and I will suggest that he knows how to fit in within the culture of your church, but his actions demonstrate that he does not *practice* your faith. As a church outsider, I have often observed that various traditions of Christianity have their own distinct language. He is speaking that language to you as a tool because he is not succeeding in his manipulation through the language of normal people. (Normal = non-cheaters.) In other words, being able to talk the talk does not mean he will walk the walk.”

Free Vixen – this really struck me. What a brilliant insight. I’ve seen this not just with Jesus Cheaters, but with the divorce group I joined. I live in kind of a hipster, liberal town, so the language in the divorce group is very psychological, New Age-y, Buddhist, etc. And there are a couple of guys using that language to offer a kind of faux emotional support to the vulnerable women in the group, to create a false sense of intimacy, and to hook up wherever they can. It’s sickening.

Soldiering On
Soldiering On
7 years ago
Reply to  Better Days

I’ve seen the same dynamic occur in “Parents Without Partners” as well as “AA”; there’s always a predator who thinks only of himself.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
7 years ago
Reply to  Free Vixen

I love it when we get these insights from our experts here at CN. Free Vixen, that’s a brilliant observation about how someone can “fit into the culture of your church, but his actions demonstrate that he does not ‘practice’ your faith.”

So here, again, we see how important it is to look at what people do, not what they say. The power of a con artist is the power that Free Vixen describes: to fit into a culture using words and other image management techniques. But actions always tell the story.

Carol39
Carol39
7 years ago
Reply to  Free Vixen

100% this! Jesus Cheaters use religious language to manipulate Christian spouses. I know because mine was a Jesus Cheater too. In our FIRST meeting with our pastor, Cheater used 80% of the time to talk about how concerned he was for my soul because I wasn’t forgiving him immediately. When I asked him how he planned to provide stability for his family when he lost the house in foreclosure due to his shenanigans, he said, “Well, I guess I have more faith than you do that God will provide.” Oh, really? Faith that God will just give you whatever you want even when you are lying and cheating? What kind of bullshit faith is that?

But yeah, Jesus Cheaters LOVE to portray you as broken, and they love to “pray for you.” It makes them look all righteous and holy. And if you don’t want to be prayed for by them… well, that makes you look bad, doesn’t it? Then they can go around to other people and cry, “She won’t even PRAY with me!”

If he wants to pray, he doesn’t need to text it. He’s showing off and manipulating you. Tell him that God says He doesn’t hear the prayers or receive the offerings of a man who deals treacherously with his wife (Malachi 2:13-15).

Aunt Podger
Aunt Podger
7 years ago

Wow, that’s awful. All, “Lord, manipulate her to do what I want; let her think it’s for her own good; let her think that she’s the one in the wrong” and zero “fix my wrong heart and head and find the best path for her, which I hope is with me.” This man does not have LW’s best interest at heart and I wouldn’t be surprised if he never did.

Magneto
Magneto
7 years ago

Mine told me at BD that He had made his decision, he was going to get a Catholic annulment of our 30 year marriage. When I guffawed, I asked HOW was this possible?

He replied “I researched it and have my solution.” THEN he asked me to “go along with it.”, because it would only benefit ME to do so.
I’m SURE his reasons claimed “abuse” by me…..

(LYING to a tribunal? Including a Priest?) Do I LOOK like I want to get fried with a lighting bolt in the parking lot of the church??????

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  Magneto

How exactly would that benefit you? An annulment places the parties in the position they would be had they never married. So, unless you made heaps of money and had a fabulous retirement plan on your own, it would probably benefit him more than you. Sometimes, finances are a bigger motivator than faith in choosing that route.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

Not This Girl: What he’s doing is very typical, with a Christian twist. They want their “freedom” and orgasms, and even relish your pain (or, at best, are indifferent to it). But…..let you take the reigns, and they are all over wreckonciliation and arguing forgiveness like a vampire bat on a cow.

Mine did the same thing–tepid attempts to woo me back to the marriage, interspersed with downright cruelty. But that first message to him that I wanted a divorce….weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. He’ll go to a therapy appointment! I can’t tell him over the phone about a divorce. I assent to the therapy appointment; he now thinks he has power, and send me a missive telling me what *I* need to fix for him to go to therapy. Boom–I say divorce instead. Weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth–he makes the therapy appointment. I go, and he behaves like a total, non-repentant arrogant ass. But now he thinks he’s in like Flynn because I consent to a second appointment. Then he claims HE wants the divorce. I’d had enough at that point, and filed 9 a.m. the next business day. More weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth–no, he’d written me a NOTE! And we should have decided together!!!

It was a fascinating snapshot into the narc mind–they ALWAYS have to be in power. Always. If they are not, they will pull one of the charm, pity, rage channels to “win” you back, and then exert their power again. Always.

Run, Not This Girl. Run.

Sadface
Sadface
7 years ago

That’s why I am an atheist, can’t take all the bullshit at all. The OW actually told my H that God sent her a massage saying my H and her should be together.

violet
violet
7 years ago
Reply to  Sadface

Same here. Despite the fact that X and I had been together for 30 years and had 4 children together (and OW was married with children), the Lord wanted the two of them to be together. But at the same time, the two of them would pray for “healing” in my marriage! It was totally insane but since I was a “non-believer”, I was not capable of understanding the mysteries of “our Lord.” It was truly crazy making, until I realized it was all a hoax, designed to ensure maximum attention (kibbles). The hypocrisy passes all human understanding…

Sadface
Sadface
7 years ago
Reply to  Sadface

If there were a god, shouldn’t those low life scums be punished already?! Don’t tell me “God works his mysterious ways”, it’s not even funny!

CalamityJane
CalamityJane
7 years ago
Reply to  Sadface

Sadface, bad people will use anything they can in order to get what they want. Using God is sometimes the easiest method because the act of forgiveness and love is so prevalent in the teachings of Christianity. They use religion as a weapon against chumps who have a belief in God and frequently, quite effectively get back into chumps’ graces.

I can write you a check for a million dollars and not have money in my bank account the same way the OW can say “God” sent her a message. It’s an empty lie in order to make you believe something that in reality, does not exist.

God wants honesty and harmony in the family, not distress.

It is never a bad thing for truth to be discovered. Living in truth is a good thing. What is bad is living a lie. The scum are punished just by their mere existence. Phoebe Snow said it best in a song: Sleep is relief for men with no feelings.

Peace be with you, Sadface. I promise you will reach meh and life will reveal its beauty to you. As for your cheater, he is lost.

Kellia
Kellia
7 years ago

Not this girl – That could be a boilerplate text he could have just as easily sent the OW. There’s nothing specific about you- his wife – in the text and I’m not buying it. And nothing in there is praying to for him to change his cheating ways. Yes, religion is a nice value to have, but losing all rational form of thought is another. And why are you buying him a car? He should buy it for himself with his own money, which he is obviously spending on the OW. Can’t hold his own financially, wants to change careers, can’t keep his dick in his pants, and abandons you to spend time with the OW. What a saint, he should be canonized. LOSER.

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago

Dear NTG –

In the early days, Mr. Sparkles came to church with me even though he was a “fallen Catholic”. (I’m a Lutheran.)

He went on to use a picture from our son’s baptism day in a reply email to a personal ad indicating he was a Bi MWM looking for a couple to get together with on a regular basis. Nice, eh?

He stopped going to church with me for YEARS. I didn’t mind because I went with my Mom and my son and it was “my time.”

When my mother unexpectedly passed away, I mentioned to him how lonely it was for me to sit without my Mom at church. He never offered to go.

A month before our last D-day, he came to church with me twice… and it made me crazy. He wasn’t there for God. He was there so he could tell everyone, “I even went to church with her, but she did nothing to save our marriage.”

He now goes to Catholic mass weekly with the OW and her kids. I think he’s fighting the adultery cause of action so hard because they won’t be able to marry in the Catholic church with it.

For me, my God/my faith is not a bargaining chip. It shouldn’t be for you either. Keep your faith and kick his ass to the curb. God has redeemed you from this man, give him your praise and thanks for loving you so much (even if it hurts right now.)

God just pushed you out of the way of a bullet.

NotThisGirl
NotThisGirl
7 years ago

Thank you for your words of truth and encouragement! You are right it hurts so much. Some days the pain seems endless, but I think I was spared and did dodge a bullet. I wanted to start a family this year and obviously divorcing him will prevent that from happening.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

NTG – yes, the pain is horrendous, and the recovery from his despicable actions will be long… But way easier and faster than if you had bred with him. Go NC, focus on you, divorcing a fuckwit takes a lot of strength, keep forging on!

Martha
Martha
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

Thank God you don’t have kids with him! It’s torture one day to have your kids “leave” to go to dads for the weekend. The first weekend they left, I cried the entire weekend, didn’t shower, didn’t get dressed and didn’t leave my home.

BetterDays
BetterDays
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

Being spared the pain of losing your kids half the time to a fuckwit is definitely a blessing. Here’s to a better future for you!

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  NotThisGirl

NTG, as many here can tell you, it is a blessing if you don’t breed with someone who has chosen to mistreat you.

Lyn
Lyn
7 years ago

“God just pushed you out of the way of a bullet.”

I like the way you put that. I used to tell people I wasn’t rejected, I was chosen. God chose to get me out of an impossible situation.

Better Days
Better Days
7 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

I like that too. Sometimes I get stuck in the mental loop of how I got dumped and rejected and lost the man I thought was the love of my life (even though I was in love with a mirage).

How wonderful to think instead, “God pushed me out of the way of a bullet.” God saved me from a one-sided, abusive, soul-crushing marriage.

That’s my new mental loop.

Tessie
Tessie
7 years ago
Reply to  Better Days

One of my favorite prayers…..Thank you for all you have given me Spirit, and for all you have taken away.

Fifi
Fifi
7 years ago
Reply to  Better Days

Yes, Better Days, same here, exactly. I’m grateful for the new mantra.

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  Fifi

That’s right. It’s not failure, it’s salvation. God has bigger plans for tested and true chumps.

Lyn
Lyn
7 years ago

Oh wow, this reminds me of how my ex, who could hardly step foot in church, started texting bible verses to me and the kids after D-day. He ruined Proverbs 3: 5-6 “Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” for me, since he used it in the email he sent right after crushing my soul. I interpreted his use of that scripture to mean, “I don’t know why I’m destroying my family, so it must be God’s idea.”

Later on I discovered a file on his old computer that talked all about how he was madly in love with his married coworker and “planting seeds to break up her marriage…as long as it takes!” At the top of the first page he wrote “This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it.” A little later he wrote, “I don’t have to follow society’s rules, I can follow my own rules.

I agree with CL, these people confuse God with their own egos.

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

This just reminded me of something Mr. Sparkles did… 6 years after he walked out on his first wife, he still had a reminder in his calendar to call her on “their wedding anniversary”… because “she’ll be sad and thinking of you”…

These Cluster Bs are all friggin’ nuts. Satan can have them.

Lyn
Lyn
7 years ago

LOL. Mr. Sparkles certainly saw himself as central, didn’t he?

Kar marie
Kar marie
7 years ago

Im not a believer i was once but no more. However it does piss me off the way some people use god to justify bad behavior. How dare they use the divine for their wrong doings. However chump ladys ubt respomse had me im stitches snorting my coffee while petting my male pup. He got coffee all over him. He loved it!