Penelope Hegseth Regrets Brief Moment of Lucidity

Penelope Hegseth, mother of serial cheater and super creep Pete Hegseth, once called him out on his appalling treatment of women. And then later walked it back.

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In 2018, mortified mother Penelope Hegseth, fed up with her son Pete’s wandering dick, wrote him a scathing email. The New York Times reports (gift link):

“On behalf of all the women (and I know it’s many) you have abused in some way, I say … get some help and take an honest look at yourself,” Penelope Hegseth wrote, stating that she still loved him.

She also wrote: “I have no respect for any man that belittles, lies, cheats, sleeps around and uses women for his own power and ego. You are that man (and have been for years) and as your mother, it pains me and embarrasses me to say that, but it is the sad, sad truth.”

On behalf of chumps everywhere who’ve ever longed from validation from their former in-laws that their cheating children were less than stellar:

What’s the sad, sad truth about Pete Hegseth?

Pete Hegseth is a Fox news reader and purported pick to lead the Defense Department. A job he apparently qualifies for thanks to his square forehead and flamboyant misogyny.

When Penelope sent that email, Pete was on his second divorce. Since then he has achieved 7 children, 3 marriages, countless Schmoopies, and one credible sexual assault claim.

Here’s a brief timeline of Pete Hegseth’s wandering dick.

Meredith Schwarz (chump)

In 2004, Hegseth married his high school sweetheart Meredith, and proceeded to cheat on her throughout the marriage. The Daily Beast following on a Vanity Fair article, reports:

While the couple remained together despite frequently being geographically apart, Hegseth already displayed behavior that troubled the two’s friends. Two sources told Vanity Fair that, on one occasion, Hegseth went out for a night of drinking with his college friends, but didn’t return, prompting Schwarz to call hospitals. He returned in the morning and castigated his wife for fretting about his absence.

In spring 2008, Hegseth reportedly told Schwarz that he wanted to move back to Minnesota with her, where he would pursue a graduate degree at the University of Minnesota. Eager to be reunited with her husband, Schwarz quit her finance job, sold her apartment, and moved to Minneapolis.

But Hegseth didn’t come. He waffled on his plans, sources said, offering different stories to Schwarz about what was going on. Meanwhile, she suffered.

In November of that year, Hegseth took a trip to Minnesota (wearing his army uniform) and finally admitted his infidelity to Schwarz. She was crushed, the sources said, and Hegseth himself seemed racked by guilt.

Schwarz’s younger brother called Hegseth the next day for an hours-long conversation, a source familiar with the situation told Vanity Fair.

“Pete said he no longer believed in God and family values,” the source said. “He claimed he no longer wanted to seek the limelight. He said, and this quote is as clear as day, ‘I’m a f–ked up individual.’”

Although Schwarz still tried to make the marriage work—she loved him—it didn’t last long. She noticed charges for hotel rooms on her credit card that she didn’t recognize.

Confronted about it, Hegseth couldn’t give a straight answer, sources said, but Schwarz would later learn that the room was for him and Samantha Deering, a woman who also worked at Vets for Freedom whom Hegseth would later marry.

Hegseth reportedly admitted to Schwarz that he had had five affairs while the two were married, which was when she decided to end their communication and divorce him.

Only five? My cynical Chump Lady take is that if you have confirmation of five affairs, add a zero. Anyway, Pete begins his pattern of knocking up co-workers.

Samantha Deering (OW-Wifetress)

Samantha collects her pick me dance prize! Her reward? Three square-foreheaded children and a contentious divorce, where her serial cheating husband will impregnate yet another co-worker, but accuse HER of being a bad parent. #winning

At that time, Penelope Hegseth defended her daughter-in-law to her FW son, according to the New York Times.

Mr. Hegseth’s mother wrote in the email that she was upset about his treatment of Samantha, writing: “For you to try to label her as ‘unstable’ for your own advantage is despicable and abusive. Is there any sense of decency left in you?”

“She did not ask for or deserve any of what has come to her by your hand,” she said. “Neither did Meredith,” Mrs. Hegseth added, referring to his first wife.

Projection much, Pete? Unstable?

In the years that followed, Pete and Samantha Hegseth continued to fight over care of the children, according to documents in their divorce record. In 2020, after Mr. Hegseth sent a text to his ex-wife calling her “pathetic and selfish,” the court-appointed consultant said she wanted to see “an action plan from Pete regarding cessation of hostile and degrading communication to and about Sam.”

Jennifer Rauchet (OW-Wifetress)

Whoever will win this dreamboat next? It’s Jennifer! The super special orifice that will keep Pete from straying. Nothing says conservative family values like being married to your second wife while your future third wife gives birth. #soverystable

The problem here isn’t that dicks wander, it’s that uppity women choose divorce.

“Had I been raised in a family where faith, fidelity and fatherhood were not valued, my choices could have led to family breakdown,” he wrote in a publication about fragmented families for the Center of the American Experiment, a nonprofit group.

Yes, the explosive tonnage of this hypocrisy has been harnessed by the Pentagon. #manhattanFWproject

The important thing is that Pete’s wandering dick does not lead to FAMILY BREAKDOWN. We all must accept the divine, inherent rights of Pete’s wandering dick, just like Penelope has.

Mrs. Hegseth said on Friday that she would consider providing The Times with her apologetic follow-up email to her son but did not immediately do so. Steven Cheung, a spokesman for Mr. Trump, said in an email that The Times was “despicable” for publishing “an out-of-context snippet” of Mrs. Hegseth’s exchange with her son, adding that Mrs. Hegseth had “expressed regret for her emotional message and apologized.”

Pay no attention to that mad mother locked in the attic. Penelope Hesgeth is very emotional. You know how hormonal women get.

She’s over 50.

You know what lucid raging shrews menopausal women are.

The patriarchy was unavailable for further comment.