Shame! It’s Like an Icepick through Your Head!

Lightening up the mood around here a bit, I’d like to thank the script writers at True Tori (or as one blogger so nicely puts it True Whorey) for this bit of theatrical “remorse” by Dean McDermott.

Confronting McDermott about his disappearance during a Christmas party with their four children, Tori wants him to know that he missed fake snow, and it was special, and she had to deal with all that herself while he was off fucking around.

“It’s creepy to think someone could be that good of an actor,” says Spelling.

Um. You married an actual actor, Tori.

McDermott — a guy with a face like hammered steak and an apparent penchant for wearing t-shirts he dug out of the bottom of the laundry bin — is thunderstruck.

“Babe?!” says Spelling, dissolving into tears at McDermott’s apparent distress.

The head clutching is all too much for her! This operatic gesture of remorse is why she Just Can’t Confront Him. See what happens? It hurts him! The therapist assures her, that hey, he has to feel this.

Why do either of them assume he feels anything at all? He’s an actor. A bad, hammy one, but an actor nonetheless. Soldiering forth with his lines, McDermott declares, “I feel shame like I’ve never felt shame before. It’s like an icepick through my head!”

A note to Hollywood script writers — infidelity is like an icepick through your head (and heart). Shame? Not so much. Personally, I doubt whether a practiced serial cheater like McDermott is capable of shame. Clearly neither Tori or Dean experience shame or they wouldn’t be starring in their own reality TV show. But I get this is an ancient dramatic arc, beginning with Paul on the road to Damascus struck by the light of God toward repentance, ending with the magician in Frosty the Snowman who’s really sorry after all! People love this kind of fairy tale.

Why? Because it doesn’t happen in real life. Like all “reality” TV, it’s aspirational. Cheaters don’t have perfectly timed, on camera breakthroughs that, gosh! they are scumbags! Disordered people don’t feel pain at hurting others. They just feel their own pain, and yours is a little annoying buzz, and would you please shut up? Shaming them with Christmas photos of their children tends to be a tactic doomed to failure — ask several thousand chumps how they know.

No, if shame exists for guys like Dean McDermott at all, it’s a slow, creeping realization that they Aren’t All That. It happens over years. He wakes up one day and thinks “God, I need to wash my t-shirt.” The royalties to his TV show have long dried up and he’s doing late-night infomercials for dog shampoo and thinks “Maybe if I hadn’t been such a douchebag, my life would’ve turned out differently.” But he dare not utter this. Especially not to his five children who don’t talk to him. Or his multiple ex-wives. He admits it to himself, and it has all the force of a flaccid egg noodle.

In other news, the ice pick of shame clearly hasn’t permeated Monica Lewinsky’s head. Tomorrow her expose in Vanity Fair comes out, where she “breaks her silence” about her affair with President Clinton.

She is tired of  “tiptoeing around my past – and other people’s futures. I am determined to have a different ending to my story. I’ve decided, finally, to stick my head above the parapet.”

Putting aside that she stuck her bouffant-ed head above the parapet earlier for a Barbara Walter’s interview and a book deal, I guess it’s time to stick it to Hilary as she considers a run for president. Lovely timing, Monica. I’m sure you’re very sorry and would like to apologize to Mrs. Clinton for fucking her husband.

No? You were a “scapegoat”? You’re the real victim here and you’re going to set the “narrative” straight? Thanks for that, Monica. We’d all forgotten you. Mrs. Clinton has gone on to be Secretary of State and you’ve… what have you been doing? Designing handbags?

Where are those icepicks of shame when you need them.

Subscribe
Notify of

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

304 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Nancy M
Nancy M
9 years ago

So well said Chump Lady! Mr. and Mrs. McDermott deserve each other….the one and only thing that really hit home for me was the promo commercial where Mrs. McD talked about how creepy it was that someone could cheat and then come home and go on with life. Hmmm, memories of my own experiences. I am still struggling with this…my ex-h took his whore to Jamaica then came home and slept in bed next to me. Business as usual for him. Slept next to me for many years while he whored around. So glad he’s gone. The healing continues for me.

Monika
Monika
9 years ago
Reply to  Nancy M

Im reading everyone’s replies and comments here and realizing that the theme of narcissistic behavior prevails in each and every story. Personally, I avoid sweep generalizations, however, I’m confident in stating that only one type of individual is capable of any type of infidelity: textbook narcissist. We can add sociopathy, and personality disorders into this mix, but the narcissism is almost like a default setting they all operate from. In my case, i got hit with the latter combo, which is absolutely the worst case scenario, because the lack of empathy is always combined either with gaslighting or purely sadistic behavior (one quick example: I was in the middle of an anxiety attack during DD, and gasping for breath, and cheater/sociopath stepped over me laying on the floor and said, “I don’t give a shit about your stupid anxiety” before leaving the room. I’m sure this isn’t major news to anyone who’s been educated on some of the main themes in psychology of human behavior, but it’s always a good reminder to know that their narrative is so similar in most of our cases.
As to the cheater theatrics, I’m actually glad I didn’t receive any. Apparently, I wasn’t worthy enough of even fake remorse.
Oh yeah, and one more thing: that saying that if someone tells you who they are, believe them, is totally applicable in my case, too. My ex said to me on a few occasions that even he agrees withthe sociopath definition for himself, but in his own words “what you gonna do about it, that’s just me.”
For a bright woman like myself, this part is the absolutely worst to get over: that I’ve been fooled for 14.5 years. It certainly makes me doubt my own ability to be perceptive (and I used to pride myself on calling myself that.)

Kate
Kate
9 years ago
Reply to  Monika

Similar here Monika – I was on the verge of a breakdown after finding out he cheated and wanted a divorce and he said “you are very unattractive when you act like that!” I got some of the theatrics though because he is in the theatre industry. They are all so similar.

TheMuse
TheMuse
9 years ago
Reply to  Monika

Monika, totally agree about the NPD. My cheater tried to force me to take a valium on the night of D-Day. I refused. I shudder to think what might have happened if I had done it. These meds are prescribed to me for vertigo, a condition of Meniere’s disease that I thought he was nursing me through for the last three years of our 16 year relationship. Then found emails and friends told me too, that he told people I was faking my illness. But as you say, the worst part is knowing how badly they fooled us chumps.

Patsy
Patsy
9 years ago
Reply to  Monika

Wow. I think that Chump Lady herself got stepped over as she was wailing on the floor – so he could make himself a pop tart.

I THINK that is right… but the similarities!

FeralBlue
FeralBlue
9 years ago
Reply to  Nancy M

She thought it was creepy? Interesting as she did EXACTLY THAT to her own first husband while she was seeing side-piece Dean. They just don’t get it do they.

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  FeralBlue

Compartmentalizing…

Bo
Bo
9 years ago
Reply to  Nancy M

Of course, it wasn’t “creepy” when he was doing the exact same thing with his former wife and a second child( new baby) at home while he was with Tori. Missing those family memories while fucking Tori.
I am sure she feels some remnant of being special since he is not leaving her for the new APs.

Sara
Sara
9 years ago
Reply to  Bo

Did you happen to catch someone asking Dean why he wanted to use the sex tape he made with Tori as foreplay with the fling? Tori feigned upset–while grinning with her face down in Sippy Cup overwhelm. Wouldn’t that make her feel better–he needed to look at Tori to have sex with Missy? Oh, what was I thinking! He only wanted to watch himself having sex with himself–while perfecting the ice pick improv. Has anyone cared enough to find the escapee mistress? It wouldn’t be the first tweak for “reality” ratings.

smart ass texan
smart ass texan
9 years ago
Reply to  Bo

Maybe the AP doesn’t want him, maybe he was just a “play thing”.
After all, it was a 2 day “affair”.
It probably” meant nothing to her” !

TimeHeals
TimeHeals
9 years ago

My understanding is it was more of a two-day stand, and on day 2 he tried to get her to watch a sex film of him and Tori as the warm up, and that creeped her out.

Sara
Sara
9 years ago
Reply to  TimeHeals

AP…anchovy pizza? Archery player?Acting partner? Advanced Placement? Already paid? Ass Pole? Acupuncture point? I really don’t know?

Another Rebecca
Another Rebecca
9 years ago
Reply to  Sara

Affair partner.

Sara
Sara
9 years ago

Thank you AR

lale
lale
9 years ago
Reply to  Bo

*has not left her yet

smart ass texan
smart ass texan
9 years ago

Tori has said that Dean told her “they fell in love”…..I wonder if it ever occurred to her that maybe, just maybe Dean fell in love with the prospect
of the “Spelling” reputation & fortune ?

Nat1
Nat1
9 years ago

Then why drag kids into it? After the money? Sure go ahead, make the most of it, but don’t have kids just to make it LOOK real!!!!!

ThatGirl
ThatGirl
9 years ago

Yep that’s what he was in love with, the promise of a payday and not working.

Notice how he hasn’t been in much of anything since he married her. I also think the rumors of him screwing around started right around the time it was clear Tori’s mom wasn’t going to forgive and forget and cough up more inheritance money.

So transparent. I almost feel sorry for her. Almost.

Nord
Nord
9 years ago
Reply to  ThatGirl

The rumours of his cheating have been out there for ages. And her saying she can’t believe he can come home after screwing around? Puh-lease. She is one useless trick and he is nearly a cyclops.

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
9 years ago

I almost shot you an email asking you to post something on the Tori debacle. I laid in bed last night watching it and had many many hearty laughs. Tori looks like a muppet; I muppet who fails to mention how she hooked up with this fuck-stick in the first place. If they mentioned it on the show, I only missed it when I was howling with laughter over something one of them said.

Weird. How do they see each other? Her eyes are set so far apart and his are really close together. lol

Drew
Drew
9 years ago
Reply to  Rumblekitty

RK, your wit had me laughing out loud today. I thank you!

Moving Liquid
Moving Liquid
9 years ago
Reply to  Rumblekitty

“Weird. How do they see each other? Her eyes are set so far apart and his are really close together. lol”

Hahahahahahahaha!

kellyrambo1
kellyrambo1
9 years ago
Reply to  Moving Liquid

Oh hahahaha!

Sandcastlefaith
Sandcastlefaith
9 years ago
Reply to  Moving Liquid

Let’s have a real talk–eye to eye to eye to eye

OR

Let’s have a real talk-I to I to I to I?

Nancy M
Nancy M
9 years ago

Oh, and upon my discovery of the whoring around, my ex-h cried, sobbed, crawled across the kitchen floor asking for forgiveness. Then curled up in a fetal position. I just sat in a kitchen chair staring at him.

Nord
Nord
9 years ago
Reply to  Nancy M

My ex ‘cried’. But no tears. When I actually cried, upon discovering the depth of his betrayals, he asked me why I was crying.

SeeTheLight
SeeTheLight
9 years ago
Reply to  Nancy M

My cheater’s eyes used to tear quite a lot. But, wouldn’t you know when he was prostrate on the floor, holding my hands, shouting “I get it, I finally get it!”, after my tirade of hurt, he couldn’t form one tear. Although I could see he was desperately crinkling his eyes trying to squeeze one out for effect. See, his sympathetic nervous system knew what was real and what wasn’t.

P.F
P.F
9 years ago
Reply to  SeeTheLight

Yeah…my ex-wife tried to swallow a throw pillow but could no shed a tear. Maybe it was the Botox because her face became a frozen canvas.

If she actually cried her face might melt.

Sara
Sara
9 years ago
Reply to  P.F

Oh my god. Just reading “yeah my ex wife tried to swallow a throw pillow” makes my night.

Kelly
Kelly
9 years ago
Reply to  Nancy M

Oh. My….Nancy M, I would pay money to see that! Almost as good as Barrister Belle’s ex-h scrooching down the steps (?) in his sleeping bag.

Lyn
Lyn
9 years ago
Reply to  Nancy M

I’d hardly seen my ex cry in the 36 years we were married, but he spent many hours the last few months sobbing and curled up in a fetal position on our couch. I seriously thought he might have a brain tumor, his behavior was so bizarre.

Miss Sunshine
Miss Sunshine
9 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

I wondered if my ex had early-onset dementia. On the other hand, I now know that it’s a lot of work to lie, so that didn’t help. But the bizarre behavior was really weird. His mannerisms alternated between angry adolescent male, teen girl in love, and giddy 3-year-old. Nothing exciting for sure.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
9 years ago
Reply to  Miss Sunshine

I got adolescent male and teen girl in love, too! Lots of smirking and posturing.

P.F
P.F
9 years ago
Reply to  Nancy M

That’s what I refer to as cheater “trauma”. The jig is up and it literally floors them.

My ex wife she threw herself around the living room, bouncing off the couch while stuffing a throw pillow in her mouth. It was bizarre to watch her flailing about as if she was possessed.

kellyrambo1
kellyrambo1
9 years ago
Reply to  P.F

Oh more fodder for the 12-days of Christmas cartoons this December! Yay!

Jamberry
Jamberry
9 years ago
Reply to  P.F

Glad I was spared the theatrics described above. These descriptions seem more like the antics of toddlers throwing tantrums. I imagine you were too shocked to even react.

I never saw my cheater shed a tear in our 18 years together. After the affair reveal he cried once when he hugged me. Found it very odd and likely a calculated attempt to “show” that he was really sorry for hurting me. I was completely unmoved.

Movin_on
Movin_on
9 years ago
Reply to  P.F

Stuffing a throw pillow in her mouth?! That would make a GREAT cartoon (cough, cough, CL)!!

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  Movin_on

Should’ve stuffed it in her mouth before the lies poured out…

chumpectomy
chumpectomy
9 years ago
Reply to  P.F

Oh man….. this happened to me too. My ex wife curled up in a ball at least twice through the divorce also saying “don’t touch me!”
I was confused with the strange behavior thought, Is this an act? WTH!
I think the guilt of the cheating catches up with them at times and they really
don’t know what to do at that moment.
I asked the psychologist about this and he did not know what it was.
I think he did.

namedforvera
namedforvera
9 years ago
Reply to  chumpectomy

Mine did too..alternating with other weird and/or mean shit.

Is it bad that I’m giggling now while I read this? I’ve read so many report of demented cheater behavior that … I dunno…after watching that Tori & Dean clip (brain bleach, stat!) …giggle giggle…

KarenE
KarenE
9 years ago
Reply to  chumpectomy

I think the hysterics are often not an act, but in NO WAY is it about their guilt or shame. I think it’s about three things;
1) it HURTS a narc to look bad
2) it HURTS a narc to fear the loss of cake, or, even worse, experience loss of cake
3) maybe if they’re pathetic enough, they can get cake back, or at least get some ‘poor you’ kibbles. Better than no kibbles at all!

Nat1
Nat1
9 years ago
Reply to  KarenE

Actually it’s not about them being hurt either, it’s about changing the subject, distracting you, getting you off their backs. Horrible horrible you for making me feel so bad about myself, didn’t it look like I feel bad?

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  KarenE

Their pretty house of cards fell over—waah, you knocked it down! It was pwetty!!!!

Lisah
Lisah
9 years ago
Reply to  chumpectomy

Just like the cheater in the sleeping bag ! Nuckin Futs!

ANC
ANC
9 years ago
Reply to  Lisah

I got the McD creepy compartmentalized non-ice pick in the head. Asshat is a well practiced thespian too. I received the Gaslighting when I questioned him and then the weird going about business post porny church lady fuck. “Do I smell bad?” Nauseating.

So far, no tears. Just a lot of verbiage that does not match his actions. There is no real shame. Just like there is no empathy. Tori doesn’t get it because she’s a supreme cheater herself.

BTW….Whenever we get to that creepy NPD state off, I tell myself to think of a mountain covered in snow. These creeps are sooooo good at reading our emotions via subtle chump facial expressions/changes.

scotty
scotty
9 years ago
Reply to  chumpectomy

Wow, lucky for you guys, ha ha. I got none of the theatrics. Pure denial and blameshifting, not a lick of shame or remorse.
Maybe a few crocodile tears and pouting after the fact, like a kid getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar or how the dogs sulk around after they have an accident in the house…

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
9 years ago
Reply to  scotty

I got nothing but blame for ah, brining up the MOW on FB. It was all my fault for accusing him.

Sara
Sara
9 years ago
Reply to  LovedaJackass

Same here. The theatrics were mine when I couldn’t take the days of silent treatment, his cool detachment or snide, seething rage–but never out of control, him. Maybe a slight tic if I actually caught him with his pants down (lit or fig). Since he was a superior being and it was all my fault anyway, why should he worry? I used to furiously throw clothes out of his bureau while he sat on the couch, smirking at my insanity. Then I’d put them back, neatly folded. How did the car keying “really insane” ex ow become his secret best friend one minute after he said “I do”? I guess he had his fingers crossed.

BubblestheJellyfish
BubblestheJellyfish
9 years ago

I think the Ice-picks of shame needs a cartoon CL.

On another note….I watched the first or second episode of this train wreck and there was ‘the tiniest bit’ of acknowledgement by Tori that she has been worried “ALL ALONG” that he would do this to her (for their entire marriage) because of the way they got together…..but we need to gloss over this……ummm cause she cheated too…but I digress….

Honestly I think Tori is trying to play a chump, and not doing a very good job at it…her beginnings were not exactly honorable and lets face it…..her biggest complaint during his time in rehab was “It is just so hard to take care of 4 kids alone…we had a system.” Welcome to the rest of the world Tori….its not fun when you have to “SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP” and take care of your kids and keep yourself together….welcome to re-world non-hollywood problems….\

I watch becaseu it is a disaster and you cant take your eyes off of it….but this is just pandering the reconciliation industry and it makes me soooooooo angry.

Lifegoeson
Lifegoeson
9 years ago

Dang, I missed “the tiniest bit of acknowledgement”! You mean it crossed her mind that she might be at the receiving end of what goes around, comes around? Drinking the bitter brew of karma? Personally, I always thought she was narcissistic and not attractive looking at all…

namedforvera
namedforvera
9 years ago

Yes yes! I was just thinking how useful such a thing would be. A mailable version perhaps…like a Nerf- ice pick so nobody could accuse you of actual malicious intent.

But, what fun! (my weakness, I like to poke the hornet’s nest…I once sent the OW a bouquet of dead flowers on her birthday, a year after EX had sent her live ones. Addressed to: Dr. Hoe, Adulterer, xxx.) Bwa ha ha .

Apparently you can also send dead fish and so on. Anonymously, of course. Because who sneaks better than a cheater? Turn the fuckin’ tables, I say. (immature, like I said.)

FeralBlue
FeralBlue
9 years ago
Reply to  namedforvera

I recieved a Spencers “gift” of “Grow Your Own Boobs” growing sponge thing in the mail from the happy couple. So I sent back a cheap dildo…a little one at that …with a note that said “Because this is definitely bigger and will treat you better in the long run.”

Waiting for Karma
Waiting for Karma
9 years ago
Reply to  FeralBlue

You are my hero FeralBlue.

whodathunk
whodathunk
9 years ago
Reply to  FeralBlue

LOVE!!!!!

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  whodathunk

Sweeet!

BubblestheJellyfish
BubblestheJellyfish
9 years ago

*real world…

Full-Steam-Ahead
Full-Steam-Ahead
9 years ago

No shame. More like humiliation–you caught me and exposed me….grrr….now I have to act to save face.

Sandcastlefaith
Sandcastlefaith
9 years ago

Or he could have one wicked hangover–those can feel like icepicks to the brain as well…

An English Lady
An English Lady
9 years ago

“It is time to effect a revolution in female manners – time to restore to them their lost dignity – and make them, as a part of the human species, labour by reforming themselves to reform the world. It is time to separate unchangeable morals from local manners.”
― Mary Wollstonecraft, A Vindication of the Rights of Woman

Both Tori & Ms Lewinski could learn a lot from Mary! It beggars belief that these two would sell themselves so short.

namedforvera
namedforvera
9 years ago

I think you could just finish your last sentence at “sell themselves.” (Omit the so short part….) And, frankly, I think it’s utterly in character. Too bad.

Louise
Louise
9 years ago

From the little I’ve read, it appears Monica Lewinsky is trying to get stick it to Mrs. Clinton, not the cheater she fucked around with. Typical OW logic. Ms. Lewinsky can play the victim card as much as she chooses (and I am no fan of Mr. Clinton), but she made the deliberate choice to screw a married man. I don’t care if he was Joe Blow the rag man, although I doubt she would have given him the time of day, she knew he was married and has no one but herself to blame for the blowback. I would carry my things in a garbage bag before I would buy one of her purses.

As for the Spellings , or whatever they call themselves, the only people I feel sorry for is the kids. Can you imagine how they are going to feel when they are old enough to understand how their parents whored their family’s life for a few gold coins? To me, what is happening to those children is close to abuse. Tragic.

ThatGirl
ThatGirl
9 years ago
Reply to  Louise

I also think Monica wants a pay day. She noted that even though she has a masters degree she has been unable to find a job since she screwed the president – companies tell her she isn’t a good fit or some such. LOL!

I feel less than zero sympathy for Monica. She knew he was married (who didn’t?), and she snapped her thong in front of him in his office (how desperate), and most of all – she kept that nasty blue dress. Ew. Ew. Ewwwwww!!!!!

ThatGirl
ThatGirl
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Snort! LOL

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Har har har har har!! (rimshot)

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
9 years ago
Reply to  ThatGirl

If she was really so troubled by the whole thing, she would have changed her name and quietly continued on with her life.

TimeHeals
TimeHeals
9 years ago
Reply to  Louise

Technically, “screw” is the wrong word. Didn’t the whole “Did you mean sexual intercourse?” episode sort of drive that home?

TimeHeals
TimeHeals
9 years ago
Reply to  TimeHeals

Also.. “Am I having a relationship with?”.

Ah the nostalgia of legal hair splitting while under oath.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
9 years ago
Reply to  TimeHeals

Cheater speak.

Louise
Louise
9 years ago
Reply to  TimeHeals

Oh, I forgot-“sexual relations”; as my kids say, “What a maroon!”

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  Louise

Depends on what your definition of “is” is…a classic, that one…

But seriously–given how many leaders cheat–was all that necessary?

And I know people got pissed at him lying under oath, but is there a difference between lying to people who mean SFA to you, versus your spouse?

Doop
Doop
9 years ago

“That’s disgusting…that’s disgusting.”
Indeed.

LiningUpDucks
LiningUpDucks
9 years ago

“Um. You married an actual actor, Tori.”

LOL!! Thank you, CL, I needed that laugh today.

As for Monica, does anyone really care? Just because it’s being sold as ‘news’ doesn’t mean that it is. There’s nothing new that Monica can say, thus, boring, tired, and beating a dead horse.

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  LiningUpDucks

Clearly, somebody can’t live off her unemployment cheque…

P.F
P.F
9 years ago

If I could rewrite that screen with Tori and ice pick Dean:

Tori
Remember when I was cheating on my husband with you and you were cheating on your wife with me. Cheating to be together was special, it was authentic cheating. How can you throw away our authentic cheating by now cheating on me.

Dean…(Clutching his head)
I have never felt so much shame. This shame does not compare to the time I cheated on my former spouse to cheat with you. She was a bitch…never ordered fake snow for Christmas pictures while I was out banging you. Damn….it feels like an ice pick to my brain.

Tori
Babe…babe….I hurts me to see how painful this is for you.

Dean
I hurt so much…

Cut…cut…(Dean says to the director)

Can we shoot this scene again, I think I come off more sympathetic on my left as opposed to right side. Can we have some onions here to rub into eyes….I want my shame to look as real as possible.

Another Rebecca
Another Rebecca
9 years ago
Reply to  P.F

Hahahaha!!!!

Patsy
Patsy
9 years ago

PF:

“Tori
Remember when I was cheating on my husband with you and you were cheating on your wife with me. Cheating to be together was special, it was authentic cheating. How can you throw away our authentic cheating by now cheating on me.”

You have GOT to post that on some spoof website. Classic! Ha ha ha.

P.F
P.F
9 years ago
Reply to  Patsy

Patsy…

Great idea….

Sara
Sara
9 years ago
Reply to  P.F

I second it. Do it, before someone steals it from you!!

Sara
Sara
9 years ago
Reply to  P.F

Priceless PF. The “babes”! I love it.
Can I add–very sloppily?

D: (Mid ice pick) “Babe? Can you help me with this, it’s only halfway in?”

T sobbing: “zzzzzhhhiseffeeel so bad about myself and you don’t understandandpeopleused tosayIwasugly andIzzzhhhcouldn’t have sex with you (squeaking) because my intestines were falling out that day because I had (Fizz? Orf? What’s the last kid’s name?) but we had sex that entire weeeeekeeeeeeend!!”

D: “We did?”
T: “Yea.”
D: “You sure?”
T: “I think so.”

D: ” Well it wasn’t very good sex. And *remember* this is about MY trauma about your trauma.”

T: “How could you SAY that?! I was pregnant for five…was it five? Six sounds better. SIX years, and…BABE?! You ok? Migraine? I can’t go on. Now I’m having trauma about Dean having trauma about my having trauma. Do you see how I just can’t win? How’s my lipstick?”

D. Growl. Grimy: “I can’t get enough of you. I love your intestinal bump. I tell you that all the time.”

T: “So you were attracted to her or not?”

D: “I hate you.”

Shrink: “T, what’s going on? You’re catatonic dear.”

T: “I want everyone to see how I shut down and passive aggressive I become.”

Shrink: “Dean, do you see how you’ve hurt Tori? Now apologize and act like you feel bad.”

D: “We didn’t have sex for a few minutes. I have a small dick.”

T: “I was pregnant. Look at my designer jeans. I don’t trust him but I’m glad he’s home to make dinner. Oh shit I forgot to cry. Deeeean were you attracted or not?”

D: “I wasn’t attracted to her…but she made me feel fucking GREAT, but I feel more famous when I fuck you…oh heck, this is just too hard to figure out! Cut!”

T Bone: “Babe? Babe? Is it too hard to figure out whether you feel better fucking her or more famous but more insecure fucking me?! Someone call an ambulance! Dean’s holding his head! But get me gently dabbing my eyes so I don’t ruin my make up first, and watch how tender I am with the kids…and let’s call the littlest one Baby and Momma (?!)”

BabyMomma: “Tori? Dean? Can you send me back to props? I’m tired!”

(I stole the props idea from an article about Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman’s first child.)

Jenny Garth looked lovely. I mean that.

Sorry to butcher your re-write PF!

Cultivated battiness, what a concept. I think that may be me.

Sara
Sara
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

You may not want to know…you’d have to watch the entire show. It had something to do with her C-Section. She didn’t even have to push for that prolapse!

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
9 years ago
Reply to  Sara

Sara, You made me pee at my desk. I hope you’re happy.

Sara
Sara
9 years ago
Reply to  Rumblekitty

Hey Rumblekitty, maybe Dean can sell you some Pee-Be-Gone from one of those late infomercials?

P.F
P.F
9 years ago
Reply to  Sara

Too funny…

I’m cracking up.

Red
Red
9 years ago
Reply to  P.F

Hilarious! Thank you for the laugh!

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago
Reply to  P.F

LOL

Roberta
Roberta
9 years ago
Reply to  P.F

OMG! Funny as all get out! I think you missed your calling PF, you should write script for some of these “reality” shows!

ReDefiningMe
ReDefiningMe
9 years ago
Reply to  P.F

Just. spit. coffee. Thanks 🙂

smart ass texan
smart ass texan
9 years ago

Hmmmm…

I wonder if Chris Christie paid Monica to re- surface ?

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
9 years ago

I absolutely suspect someone on the GOP side with an interest in 2016 is paying Lewinsky for this sudden reappearance.

jazzvox
jazzvox
9 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

No doubt in my mind.

persephone
persephone
9 years ago
Reply to  jazzvox

There’s also a theory that Hillary’s team is behind Monica’s resurgence, to get her out in the open and out of the way early.

smart ass texan
smart ass texan
9 years ago
Reply to  persephone

Well , that would work too !

Moving Liquid
Moving Liquid
9 years ago

Oh my god. I’m dying laughing at the comments so far and it’s only 7:19 a.m.

I’ll admit I watched this reality show for the very first time this week. It truly is like watching a car wreck. I think I saw a quick clip, perhaps of next week’s show, where someone asked him how could he do it, and his reply was much more real. It was something to the effect of, “I didn’t think I’d get caught.” Now that is truth.

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  Moving Liquid

THIS!!!!

They don’t “mean to hurt you”–it’s just a nuisance side effect of getting caught.

ReDefiningMe
ReDefiningMe
9 years ago

I admit to watching about 15 minutes of Whori’s train wreck the other day. Mind numbing and hysterically funny at the same time. Yep; my past is your future indeed.

I did feel so sorry for those kids. Good grief. Like she’s the first person to take care of four kids. Yes, it’s hard; welcome to life. I felt so sad for the little one that barfed in the car, only to have paparazzi take photos. What kind of parent subjects their child to that? Wait, we already know that answer to that.

And Slimy Dean? It is fun to see these “players” (of either gender) looking so icky. Yeah, he’s a catch. And the “guilt”? Maybe these cheaters, when they’re lying alone on their deathbed, or when they figure out at 80 that nobody thinks they’re hot anymore…maybe they feel SOMEthing, but it’s not guilt…just more “poor cake-less me” crap. If they had the capacity to feel guilt, they wouldn’t be cheaters. You don’t grow a conscience. Blech.

RNE is going though the big D and I don't mean Dallas
RNE is going though the big D and I don't mean Dallas
9 years ago

I’ve never watched the show because I think they are both disgusting, but watching that little clip, I know I was right. Vomit inducing. How can anyone watch this and not see how fake it is? Someone needs to take steak face off the grill, it’s done.

ReDefiningMe
ReDefiningMe
9 years ago

Oh, and Monica?

Seriously sweetie. Nobody can ever look at you without seeing a stained blue dress and a cigar. Go. away. and. hide.

Oh, and like so many parents, you are the reason I had to explain “oral sex” to a 6 year old child. And have it discussed at the dinner table in front of my mother, who has never in her life uttered the word “sex” out loud. That alone is reason to despise you. Ugh.

Chris
Chris
9 years ago
Reply to  ReDefiningMe

LOL!!! I was in high school during that whole debacle. I always wondered how younger Americans processed the near-incessant stream of news of Monicagate back then.

And here I thought I was scarred for a life as a child when I watched the Challenger explode on TV….

Chris
Chris
9 years ago

File this one under Cheater Afflictions, i.e. Physiological Displays of Distress when confronted with their lies. This ties in greatly with CL’s 12 Days of Crazy from last Christmas…ironic considering that Tori was at a Christmas party while Dean was in Canada getting laid.

On the 12th Day of Christmas, Cheater Freak Dean gave to Tori….An epic, temple-rubbing grimace, complete with tightly-closed eyes and a bleeped (for TV): “Woah fuck!”

My ex, when confronted, let out a series of a rapid-fire, exhaled breaths, similar to a pregnant woman in labor. Mind you, my ex was NOT in labor and was NOT pregnant. He didn’t even have ovaries…..he was a “he.”

With all of the stories documented here of Cheater Freaks in fetal positions, sobbing, sleeping bag-hopping, and “grieving” the OWs, it’s clear that they’re all working off the EXACT same melodramatic script.

Lyn
Lyn
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris

I know, it is pretty amazing that so many act like this! It was completely out of character for my ex to even shed a tear, much less sob!

Kim Marie
Kim Marie
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris

I just had one of those interesting “ah-hah” moments….wanted to share with the class! When I was first made aware of the OW – it was in the form of my XH sobbing/keening on the floor (fetal position) in front of an open door in the middle of the night. When I got out of bed to determine the source of these dramatic snorts and grunts – I found XH laying on the floor of the living room. Granted, he wasn’t hopping around in a sleeping bag, but Academy Award recipients have nothing on this fool. I hadn’t thought about this scenario in some time, but reading the above posts brought it all back….and I was pleased to note a “meh” response along with a side helping of amusement! (YAY!)

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  Kim Marie

Mine took to retching in the toilet.

FeralBlue
FeralBlue
9 years ago

How about the OW retching in my toilet because she was reacting to all the wailing, flailing and crying my ex was doing in reaction to me Officially throwing him out? That night was an absolute circus. For everyone else’s sake, I wish mine was the craziest story here…but also kinda glad to know I wasn’t alone in getting treated to the freakshow.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
9 years ago
Reply to  FeralBlue

God, what a pair of freak holes. Sounds like they deserve each other. I sure feel sorry for the OW’s kids, though.

FeralBlue
FeralBlue
9 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

I feel sorry for her kids and now their kid. They divorced a couple years back due to *surprise* him cheating on her. Then he married the OW. Face/desk

kellyrambo1
kellyrambo1
9 years ago
Reply to  FeralBlue

Wait….why was she puking in YOUR toilet? I would’ve held her head down and flushed away!!

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  kellyrambo1

Kellyrambo1–I think she was too shitty for even the toilet to muster…

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
9 years ago

W.T.F.

I Am A Rock Star*
I Am A Rock Star*
9 years ago
Reply to  kellyrambo1

Ew she was in your house?!? Getting sick?!? Ew.

KarenE
KarenE
9 years ago

Wow, Feral, I think you might win the cheater histrionics prize, ’cause you got BOTH of them doing it! What a sight that must have been! And what an amazing example of their pure, unadulterated selfishness.

FeralBlue
FeralBlue
9 years ago

One night, during what I didn’t know was False reconciliation, she stopped by (with her kids) announce that they were still seeing each other. I told bim to choose now, he chose her. So I pulled his clothes out of the closet, loaded them into her car and told him to GTF out. Then then commenced the wailing, flailing and crying. Seeing her darling Twu Wuv go through that breakdown over “crap, my wife doesn’t want me anymore”, she got sick. So he’s locked himself in the bedroom, still wailing, flailing and crying. She’s puking her guts out in my bathroom. Where am I? I’m making sure her kids are occupied with a Spongebob Squarepants marathon and snacks so they don’t have to see any of the crazy going on.

Yep.

Sara
Sara
9 years ago
Reply to  FeralBlue

The Retcher In The Toilet sounds like the new Catcher In The Rye.

Rally Squirrel
Rally Squirrel
9 years ago
Reply to  Sara

The frig? My comment was supposed to FOLLOW yours, Sara. Because yours was fab!

Sara
Sara
9 years ago
Reply to  Rally Squirrel

I like the loo revision Rally. I’ve stopped looking for my comments to appear where I expect them, especially from this phone. But I like finding the unexpected response from anyone, anywhere!

I Am A Rock Star*
I Am A Rock Star*
9 years ago

The role of retcher-in-the-toilet had already been given to me.

kellyrambo1
kellyrambo1
9 years ago

Me too 🙁

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago

Yes, but are you “ashamed” when you did it?

LilyBart
LilyBart
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

CL — If you do decide to create a “cheater afflictions” post, I have oh so many stories to share. 🙂

TimeHeals
TimeHeals
9 years ago

Wow. watched that youtube video. He is not a very good actor, is he?

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Set my teeth on edge…

Tonya
Tonya
9 years ago

Where to start with that video. Tori’s face is so rigid with botox it’s hard to figure out what’s going on with her. That dabbing of the eyes thing when there are no tears – what’s that all about? Dean’s ‘icepick through the head’ thing looks more like he’s pissed off and badly hungover and just wants everyone to go away.

And hang on, correct me if I’m wrong but wasn’t she a cheater?

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  Tonya

That’s probably why she can’t deal with any show of shame–fake or not–it should be a mirror to her face.

I mean, I’m sorry–I was more upset about the shit dumped on me that whether he felt “hurt”–he should feel shame–he did something wrong!

Edie
Edie
9 years ago

It IS disgusting, Dean. Geez. *Insert giant rolling eyeballs!!!!!*

I saw his “remorse” as turing the tables on her.
I’m not going to address your grief and disappointment. I’m going to go all drama queen and then we have to talk some more about how this effects ME.
It’s all about them.

I do feel bad for Tori. For being cheated on. What I don’t understand is displaying it for the world to see. Yes, it could help someone but all it does is show that she’s trying to justify to the world why she may stay and draw more attention to herself.
Actors should be known for their acting skills not their personal lives.

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
9 years ago
Reply to  Edie

Oh, don’t feel too sorry for Tori. She was cheating on her first husband when she met Dean and he was cheating on his previous wife. She bought and paid for this shit.

Edie
Edie
9 years ago
Reply to  Rumblekitty

I actually had forgotten that BUT I would still never wish this anguish on anyone.

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
9 years ago
Reply to  Edie

You are a super nice person. 🙂

But me . . . you go with a cheater and have a 50% part in destroying someone elses marriage . . . you deserve whatever karma has in store for you later. I’m sure Tori gave a rat’s ass about how she affected Dean’s then wife, or her husband for that matter. I hope she enjoys the misery she’s dealing with now. She earned it.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
9 years ago
Reply to  Rumblekitty

Yeah, I’m watching the Jackass’s MOW bleeding all over social media–“Say something, I’m giving up on you” and all that. She sure didn’t care about what she did to me, and now she’s in love with a guy who has disengaged and done his disappearing act and married to someone she’s still chumping because of her “truuuue loooooovvve,” (She is fond of adding extra letter to whatever she writes. I’m sure texting with her was quite an upgrade over me, since my creativity is limited to using actual words in their standard forms…

Edie
Edie
9 years ago
Reply to  Rumblekitty

I see that side of it, too. 🙂

I think karma wise I’m worried that if I wish that kind of misery on someone else I’ll get crap in life 😉
Sort of like winning the lottery. I can’t wish for millions. That’s greedy. If i wish for $100K maybe I’ll get it.

yeah, right. LIke any of that cosmic logic works 😀

AnnieW56
AnnieW56
9 years ago
Reply to  Edie

See, I worry about this stuff coming back to bite me in the a$$. I don’t want to be standing in the way when karma comes to bite my XH and the OW and I know that if I do anything to show her friends what kind of woman she really is or show her what HE has been up to cause he has been visiting online adult dating sites, karma will swing around and smack me in the head. But, oh, how I wish I could 🙂

Tonya
Tonya
9 years ago
Reply to  AnnieW56

If you’ve been through the heartache of being cheated on isn’t that punishment enough Annie. You’ve already been smacked in the head. I don’t know how these things work and maybe we’ll never get to see justice done.

I know it’s an old cliché, but they say the best revenge is a life well lived – your life.

Tonya
Tonya
9 years ago
Reply to  Edie

Edie, I know what you mean, I too worry about being mean spirited when it comes to the OW. But I remember the misery she inflicted not just on me but on my kids and I get really bad thoughts and wish bad things for her. I would love to be more benevolent in my thoughts and maybe that should be my aim.

I’m with you on the greed thing and always imagine winning money and taking delight in giving some away to brighten someone’s life. It’s a sort of interior dialogue I have with myself. I only I win this much I’ll give this percentage away. Dream on us. I hope you win something!

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
9 years ago
Reply to  Tonya

Sara – Once you get to “Meh”, you really won’t give a fuck what he does or what happens to him. For me, it’s better than waiting for an anvil to fall on his head.

I go to sleep nice and cozy each night knowing that no matter how many penis enlargement pills he takes or how many scripts of Viagra he eats, his bad back still controls how his dick operates. And he’s still a bigger dick than his actual dick will ever be.

Sara
Sara
9 years ago
Reply to  Rumblekitty

RK, I’m first to admit I’m nowhere near meh. But I like this better than suicidal depression.

sara
sara
9 years ago
Reply to  Tonya

Wow. You guys are way more evolved than me. I want to slam his head into a brick wall. But nothing would happen because he’s too pig-headed. ShwineHurst, or whatever that German inner pig was. Ok, I don’t want to slam his head into a wall. I want him to regret the fuck out of being such a slimy duplicitous mother fucker who dicked me up one side and down the other until I almost flat-lined and miss me for the rest of his life, and long for what he trashed but be able to have some kind of half life, but still wish it was me for eternity, and that can that be his betterment. Which he will show by settling into his half life and losing his fortune, humbling him and making him chant ‘Nam Myo Ho Renge Kyo’ behind his couch every day, thinking maybe, somehow I’lll come back to him. Maybe, if he re-thinks every single atrocious thing he ever said and did to me, and spends the entire day thinking about ‘remedies’ as they say in court, but just for me. Just remedies for me. That would be all he lived for. But that’s never going to happen. So: I want him to fail, miserably. And be stuck in a room with his dick and his porn and his coke and his brother and their egos. The Dick His Porn The Coke His Brother and Their Egos. But at the end of the day, why do I have to defend my authentic kindness against his nice Shaudenfreude? I mean, if this is where all of my decency landed me I figure it might be time to let go of the karma police. Take that, you fuck lying pig, and stick it up your lesbian porn ass.

Edie
Edie
9 years ago
Reply to  Tonya

That’s exactly what I do. I don’t want a ton. I just want a little cushion.
RIght now I’d just like enough to buy a condo I have my eye on so daughter and I can live on our own.
Really…not looking for more than $100K right now.
This sudden life change sucks ass.

It’s hard not to act on those thoughts…
Mostly I just want stbx to really understand my pain. It’s never going to happen but it’s what I’d like.

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
9 years ago
Reply to  Edie

Well, I don’t actively wish anything on the OW and X in my case. I just go about my life and know that one day they will run into a brick wall. I don’t have to do a thing. I just let it go and leave them to their own devices. 🙂

Edie
Edie
9 years ago
Reply to  Rumblekitty

I just hope someone can video it for your personal entertainment 🙂

Tonya
Tonya
9 years ago
Reply to  Rumblekitty

I’m not so nice RK, I agree with you. Tori has been karmalized and I cannot muster an ounce of sympathy for her.

Really
Really
9 years ago
Reply to  Tonya

“karmalized” HA HA HA!

TimeHeals
TimeHeals
9 years ago
Reply to  Edie

Umm… the acting skills thing wasn’t working out. Neither of them is a very good actor (in the professional sense).

Dean’s lines in that video need a re-write, and I think they should cast Matthew McConaughey in his role instead. Matthew McConaughey has become a pretty good actor.

TimeHeals
TimeHeals
9 years ago
Reply to  TimeHeals

Also… they should bring in Hans Zimmer to compose the soundtrack to help with creating more realistic dramatic tension.

Maybe… swap Tori out for Sandra Bullock?

And… the director and cinematographer and camera crew really have to go.

At least that’s how I think they can fix this show: get new writers, a new director, a new cinematographer and camera crew, new actors, and hire a top rank composer for the soundtrack.

nomar
nomar
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Though it’s worth noting that Sandy could have seen trouble coming. She married ol’ Jesse after he left his first wife (mother of his 3 kids), Karla James, and after he left his second wife, the stripper/porn star Janine Lindemulder (who later went to federal prison for tax evasion). Dude also has a loooooooong trail of civil lawsuits against him and huge regulatory fines for how he runs his businesses.

Don’t know that Tori had many options, but SB could have had almost any single man in the country–and she chose . . . HIM?

Talk about needing to fix your picker.

sara
sara
9 years ago
Reply to  nomar

I love Sandra 🙁 Even with the whole single white actress adopting an adorable black child routine. And Matthew McC is brilliant, we don’t want to punish him. Please don’t tell me he cheats. Who would need to with that stunning alter ego he hired–er, married as his personal cheerleader? The one who gets him up in the morning and tells him, ‘You are my MAN, my, HERO, now go out and win, my Man, my Hero!” Hey, it sounded good to me. But isn’t that one of the Things? No matter how Angelina a Brad can marry he can always get a younger, more Angelinic Angelina? So aside from my Man, my Hero (please don’t tell me he cheats), who among the Holly Woods has fixed pickers?
Tom Hanks.
Tom Hanks.
Crickets.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
9 years ago
Reply to  sara

The place is chock full of narcissists going to Narcissist U their whole lives. Sandra may need to fix her picker (as do I) but she rolled out of that scene, settled out of S. California, and has focused on being a single mother. I can only speak for myself in saying that I can see why his talent, really a form of artistry, might have been an attraction. There were less dramatic but no less evident sign of fuckedupness in the Jackass but I was not looking at those things. Whether the hollowness of the cheater is packaged in a tattoed bad boy married to a porn star or the former prom king pretending to be a nice guy, if you’re a Chump you got fooled both by what they said and also by a faulty picker…

TimeHeals
TimeHeals
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Yes, I know (Jessie James… really? Really?).

That’s why I think it would be better casting.

Jerseygirl
Jerseygirl
9 years ago

That icepick through his head is that pesky little infidelity hangover… and like a regular hangover, I am sure he will get over it…!

Shame on both of them. Good grief!

Marcie
Marcie
9 years ago
Reply to  Jerseygirl

my XH ALWAYS develops instant migraine when he’s called out on something or faced with something he doesn’t want to do.

Dodged Bullet
Dodged Bullet
9 years ago

Worst acting evah, Dean. Love your review, CL.
One observation in response to a comment here: I think it is possible to grow a conscience, or perhaps it’s reconnecting with the conscience one has lost…but the person has to want to regain the lost moral compass or want to find it in the first place. Doesn’t seem that the Spellings know it’s even missing…

Another observation: it really is amazing what some people will do to be “famous” — no shame, indeed! Geez, I used to be an actor, and never would I want to display my “reality” like the Spellings, Kardashians, et al. Total Narc-TV. Very instructional on how not to live, and “aspirational” to a sick culture…

TimeHeals
TimeHeals
9 years ago
Reply to  Dodged Bullet

think it is possible to grow a conscience, or perhaps it’s reconnecting with the conscience one has lost…but the person has to want to regain the lost moral compass or want to find it in the first place.

Hmm? You mean like if Tori suddenly connected her own situation to the trauma she helped inflict on Dean’s last wife and actually managed to express genuine empathy for the woman for once?

ANC
ANC
9 years ago
Reply to  TimeHeals

Never gonna happen. She’s special, ya know.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
9 years ago
Reply to  ANC

Yes, she does reality TV in order to disseminate a narrative for her life that makes her…special. Not like others. It’s not enough to make up her own story and tell her friends and neighbors. She’s such a narcissist that the whole world has to see her literally act out her life. Like the Kardashians, like the celebrities on Marriage Boot Camp, like the people who go on those pre-marital pick-me dancing bachelor shows.

SeeTheLight
SeeTheLight
9 years ago
Reply to  TimeHeals

So right TimeHeals. I wonder if that counselor or whomever that is in the video, would have the balls to bring up their past history of cheating as a kind of clarifying epiphany that would inspire their empathy? Talk about a teachable moment for Tori, Dean and the numbnutz viewers! But no, that would be just too judgmental (but more captivating and real if they acknowledged their actions.)

kb
kb
9 years ago
Reply to  TimeHeals

That can’t happen, TH, because from Tori’s perspective, she never cheated. No, it was Destiny! Fate! Two Wuv!

Okay, so her Knight was in slightly dented, tarnished armor, but you know? It SPARKLED!

See? That’s not cheating at all! 😛

Red
Red
9 years ago
Reply to  TimeHeals

I was thinking the same thing.

Vivianne
Vivianne
9 years ago

From reading Brene Brown, I think they got the language wrong. Chumps are champions of shame. Feelings that we didn’t do the pick me dance well enough, that we “made” our cheater cheat, that we are not enough. I was a self-shame pro in my time, and the ex encouraged it as shamed chumps will keep serving up that cake.

What we hope our cheaters feel is guilt. Guilt is the knowledge that you did something wrong. I have no guilt, because I have done nothing to feel guilty about. I kept my vows and honored my marriage.

http://brenebrown.com/2013/01/14/2013114shame-v-guilt-html/

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
9 years ago
Reply to  Vivianne

I love Brene Brown’s work. She got me through the worst of the months prior to DDay when in the midst of the worst of the gaslighting and blameshifting. She has the best definition of love and betrayal ever. I will go on a hunt for it…

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  Vivianne

My vows are not based on how I feel that moment in time. If I were going to base my whole life on my feelings, why bother with values?

Little Mighty Me
Little Mighty Me
9 years ago

I heart Brene Brown – I am a huge fangirl of hers 🙂

Tess
Tess
9 years ago

I just love watching whores trying to understand why they are still whores. They are both disgusting.

Kelly
Kelly
9 years ago
Reply to  Tess

“I just love watching whores trying to understand why they are still whores.”

Tess– That is just….PROFOUND!! 🙂

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  Kelly

Sadly, they just never seem to GET IT!

ThatGirl
ThatGirl
9 years ago
Reply to  Tess

LOL!!!

“I just love watching whores trying to understand why they are still whores. “

Tess
Tess
9 years ago

Monica, also, what a bitch. Here Chealsey is pregnant and her mom running for office I SWEAR I HOPE SO

Sure she was paid off to make a mockery of herself. Agree, I had just forgotten that bow in hair wearing cow.

Linda
Linda
9 years ago
Reply to  Tess

Not just Monica… The former President is to blame as well! He didn’t think of his family then and he didn’t consider their future. Shame on both of them!
Personally, I don’t find any of this to be Mrs. Clinton’s fault.

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  Linda

Hear hear!

An OW can’t be a dickwarmer without a dick…

Diana L
Diana L
9 years ago

So did he feel the Icepick to his head the first time around when he cheated with Tori? Did his first child not count somehow?

And what about Tori? Has she ever felt the Icepick of shame? Will she at any point in this ridiculous media circus make the connection to what she did to his first wife?

LilyBart
LilyBart
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

I’d still like to introduce her to my shiv of shadenfreude.

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  LilyBart

She has the IQ of an icepick, does that count?

Diana L
Diana L
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

LOL.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
9 years ago

My ex told me he didn’t want to be married anymore while we were sitting in Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf a couple weeks before Christmas. There were definitely no tears in his eyes, though he denied having OW. The next morning he texted everyone we knew, announcing that we had separated and asking for their prayers as we “started this new road in our lives.” Not much remorse or tears there. It was five months before I could move out of our house, during which I got such gems as: “I have some good memories of our marriage, but now it’s just a business deal that is over,” “You aren’t going to rape me in this divorce,” and a complex scheme where I would basically trust that he was going to give me support money, so no need for anything official. Believe me, there were no tears from him, no shame and no remorse.

Six months later, he wanted to reconcile so I could financially support him while he built up his “acting career.” For eight months, it was nonstop abuse. He accused me of tearing the family apart, said it was all my fault that he was broke, said he would have tremendous resentment towards me if the house foreclosed, said I was a terrible person for having moved out of our house, and when I reminded him of WHY I had moved out, he went into extreme rage, screaming “Fuck you!! Fuck you!” at me over and over again. Raged at me that I was “raping him and stabbing him in the back” when I was embarrassed that he paid two little girls to pretend to recognize him and ask him for his autograph out in a crowded public place. He would send me emails that he had written at 3 AM listing all the ways I had disappointed him the day before. On and on. I finally had enough when he said he saw no reason to work on the marriage, since I insisted he needed a day job. Not once during this hellish “reconciliation” were there any tears from him, any remorse, any actual apology or anything other than abuse towards me, gaslighting, blame and anger.

And in the nearly three years since then, there is STILL periodic rage and abuse from him, though it’s become infrequent, thank God. This is the guy who texted me that he should have added “LOL” to the end of his marriage vows, after all. Not much in the way of remorse, tears or shame in him. There never was, and there never will be.

But if he ever has an icepick through his head, that would be just fine with me.

Marcie
Marcie
9 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

OMG Glad, we were married to the same guy.

I’ve been divorced FIFTEEN.YEARS!! and still will get the out of the blue raging texts about how I ruined his life. How I tried to control everything.

Contrast against the out of the blue: I never stopped loving you.. I now realize what I lost. I wish you could accept that I change. I.I.I.I….. then the raging response of my ruining his life when I don’t respond.

FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS and I’ve literally had months/years of not hearing from him to be bombarded out the blue with this nutcase BS. Our children are adults. I’ve been remarried for 9 years. And XH has had two more ex-wives that I’m aware of….

don’t hold your breath.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
9 years ago
Reply to  Marcie

Oh geez, that is really scary. I have never received an “I never stopped loving you” text from my ex, or anything even remotely close. His texts are getting further and further apart these days, thank God. But every once in awhile, I still get a blast of his craziness. Or he does something nuts like give my suitcase (that I had loaned to our son) away to some friend of his. He recently heard from our son that my mom is in the hospital, and he texted me to ask if she would like a visit from him. Good Lord, that would have killed her.

Lyn
Lyn
9 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

Glad, your ex is a true sociopath!

Kelly
Kelly
9 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

Glad– UGH. Reading that makes my blood boil. I would like to beat the snot out of your POS-ex…NOW. UGHHH. The fact that we have not murdered our exes should be a lasting testament to our good nature and sweet dispositions. ACK! Hand me the ice pick….

Diana L
Diana L
9 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

He sounds really crazy.

LiningUpDucks
LiningUpDucks
9 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

“This is the guy who texted me that he should have added “LOL” to the end of his marriage vows…”

No, he didn’t!! The height of self-absorption at another’s expense.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
9 years ago
Reply to  LiningUpDucks

It was totally out of the blue, more than a year after our divorce. I have to admit, that one hurt quite a bit. I didn’t respond, but I was overwhelmed at how evil he is.

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  LiningUpDucks

OMG–are you kidding me????

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

Glad, my ex didn’t show remorse but he did go from raging at me to crying at me and back plenty of times. He’d scare the shit out of me one night and the next sit there crying about how he couldn’t live without me to “show him the path” blech. All the tears he shed were about him though. I think I would have preferred he only raged at me.

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

that’s what I thought, his exact and tearful words were: “Is there any chance for us? What will I do without you to show me the path?” He must’ve read a Harlequin romance to find that dreck.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
9 years ago
Reply to  Datdamwuf

LOL, these disordered freaks are something else.

Kelly
Kelly
9 years ago
Reply to  Datdamwuf

Hahah yes, a cheesy Harlequin romance….is there any other kind?

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  Kelly

Speaking of “Harlequin”, this 80’s song by them has been my theme song the last few days… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uND9zTbvSTQ

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago
Reply to  Datdamwuf

damit, hit reply too soon. Maybe you should remind your ex that artist’s are often recognized only after they die. Then you could suggest he do a special video in which he inserts an ice pick in his head…

LiningUpDucks
LiningUpDucks
9 years ago
Reply to  Datdamwuf

lol!! Dat, you are too funny!

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  LiningUpDucks

Agreed–hilarious!

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago

I didn’t hear the word LIKE in that vid; “I feel shame like I’ve never felt shame before.” I heard “I felt shame, I’ve never felt shame before”. And what I heard is probably the truth, I think he feels humiliated/shame because he’s putting this on TV and it makes him LOOK bad. But of course they need the money, right?

Chump in the Sand
Chump in the Sand
9 years ago
Reply to  Datdamwuf

Ok, so if Dean doesn’t do a good enough job pulling his weight bringing in the money with this show, will THAT be grounds for divorce?

Nat
Nat
9 years ago

I have to say, the therapist in this video looks like an actress herself. Wouldn’t want to have her counseling me…

P.F
P.F
9 years ago

Monica….Monica…Monica….

Poor widdle OW….banging the President of the United States. What were you thinking….

Maybe you should have banged the White House janitor if you didn’t want to become infamous with your beret and sperm dress.

I forgot about you….as most folks have. If you really want to move on, posing on the front cover of Vanity Affair screams look at me…

I guess you’re broke and cashing in on your affair. $$$

Maybe you can make a guest appearance on the Tori and Dean show and share some crocodile tears with them.

Sara
Sara
9 years ago

Haven’t read all of the posts yet, and prepared to get scathing responses for part b. Part a first. Dean-O really can’t discern whether he’s sorry he cheated or got caught?! Are you kidding? What more is there to say–except he keeps using his meltdowns for both of them to come to his rescue, which is so annoying and really cheap. How many times is he going to use that card? “Migraine?!” “T” can’t do it, he’ll break from his own shame that he doesn’t really have! Suicidal ideation? It will destroy her! She can’t go on! But she also can’t forgive him, ever. For what she never thought would happen but always expected. And when did recovery make people look homeless? I mean c’mon Dean, the sauce is way too watery and you need a damn shave. Ok: start stoning, part b: I think Monica is creepy and I haven’t read the news today. But…I think she got a bad rap, I don’t like her goofy blue stained Gap dress adoring smile style. But I can’t work up the same steam for her at that age, working for the president of the United States, given her damage. This might be my last post here. I’m not a cheater. But given those surreal bizarre circumstances I might’ve blown the president too. He’s not my type, but I just might have.

persephone
persephone
9 years ago
Reply to  Sara

Hey Sara — I met Clinton twice (not bragging, it was work related, i.e., I was working the events both times) and I can tell you that the man’s charisma was substantial. I always felt for Monica, given the circumstances surrounding her affair with him. That is to say, I felt for 22-year-old her. But she’s a grown woman now, and seems to have learned nothing. I take issue with the way the grown woman is continuing to exploit and profit from the actions of the young woman she was, and the mistakes she made. All I want to hear from her is “Hillary 2016. I’m horribly sorry. You’ll hear nothing from me other than what I did was horribly wrong, I take full responsibility for what I did, and vote for Hillary.” This is not a scathing response, in other words. I think she behaved terribly but I also think she was taken advantage of. How she’s chosen to grow from that — or not grow from it — is what I take issue with.

lulu
lulu
9 years ago
Reply to  persephone

Persephone–yes, I agree completely when you say “…I felt for the 22-year-old [Monica]. But she’s a grown woman now and seems to have learned nothing.” In fact, I agree with your entire post.

Sara
Sara
9 years ago
Reply to  persephone

I still agree with myself.

I Am A Rock Star*
I Am A Rock Star*
9 years ago
Reply to  persephone

I’ve heard exactly the same thing about Clinton from others who were in his presence, from speech writers at events to receptionists at hotels, men and women were taken with his charisma.

kb
kb
9 years ago

Bill Clinton has buckets of charisma, and yes, I do believe that it’s an abuse of power for a boss to screw around with a subordinate. Even if the subordinate wants to say no, it’s hard because of real or imagined repercussions. If the boss sparkles as much as Bill Clinton, it’s doubly hard.

I liked Clinton as President. I didn’t like him as a serial cheater. Lewinsky reminded me of some of the staffers I met while interning for a governmental body. My agency had a lot of back stairs gossip about one woman who made a hobby of fucking every single powerful man in that agency. I thought that Lewinsky was part of that same ilk.

Interestingly enough, so is the OW in my case. She’s a skanky ho, a 40-something woman with tons of baggage–both emotional and physical. She boasts of how sexy she was when she was a teenager (but misses out on the part about being knocked up by age 18?). She slept with every man in management in STBX’s company. Most were happy with the one-night stand. STBX seems to think he’s special.

Still, as much as OW is a predator, STBX is more culpable. He was her boss. Regardless of who made the first move, the power dynamics were such that she’d have a good case against him if she so felt like it. Also, she’s not married. It’s wrong of her to make a pass at a married man, but it’s more wrong for the married man to catch the pass and run for the goal.

Sara
Sara
9 years ago
Reply to  kb

That’s really generous of you given the OW, kb. Ouch indeed 🙁
I agree that as vulgar as that thong snap was, it was Mr. President’s choice to stick it between his teeth. Heavy sigh.

SheChump
SheChump
9 years ago
Reply to  Sara

Sara – I rather agree with your part B. Yes, she was very young and he WAS her boss. That’s an abuse of power and the presidential machine protected him and, along with that, the media just skewered her with shame shame shame on you, Monica. I don’t recall the creep ever once showing remorse on national t.v. Just some gobbildy-goop about what ‘is’ IS. He even dissed her by saying ‘that woman’. Never once did he say he shouldn’t have taken advantage of a young intern. Jesus. Where was his comeuppance in all this? He remained president despite being an immoral jerk. She did pay a huge price for her stupidity but enough is enough. I understand she hasn’t been able to get a decent job since and Mr.Clintfuck is out getting millions doing public speaking. I think it’s time she did write a book and get some money out of his philandering, not that I agree one iota what she did was right. And, I don’t like her timing either with our hero Hilary running – but that shouldn’t affect her from winning! Go Hill!

Sara
Sara
9 years ago
Reply to  SheChump

SheChump, yes–it just smacks too much of the abuse of power. Women-girls-men-boys-have fallen victim to it throughout history; maybe without the glitz and scandal, but with as much or more damage–from therapists, priests, teachers, the guy next door. Monica’s was a pretty high octane ordeal.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
9 years ago
Reply to  Sara

I do see your point, as 22-year olds are not fully developed intellectually, emotionally or spiritually. And I know a woman who worked for Clinton and she said he is very powerful when he turns on the charm (she, thankfully, was smarter than Monica, and more professional). But persephone below makes a great distinction. Clearly, based on current behavior, she shows herself to be a total opportunist, a user, willing to take another shot at a woman to whom she already has done terrible damage. So that makes me less sympathetic to her younger self, which is just the early version of the interpersonally exploitive person she is today.

Sara
Sara
9 years ago
Reply to  LovedaJackass

Now I agree even more with myself. Take her at those developing years and carefully weave in the roots of narcissistic damage within her particular drama–given her genetics, personality and whatever results she got from expensive, ineffective psycho therapy. What would you reasonably expect or want her to do, projecting as little of your own story onto Monica–hard in any situation because we’re always going to be Us. She did one reality show apologizing for the first era of blunders and I suspect we may see another some years down the line. It’s the insulting timing to Hilary we’re taking exception to? Maybe it’s more that I disagree “Monica has grown into a young woman with choice now.” How does anyone know that? By these standards I should be stoned to death for suffering profound depression long after the damage has been done.

I Am A Rock Star*
I Am A Rock Star*
9 years ago
Reply to  Sara

I’m with you on the Monica thang. I was an idiot when I was 22 – I think getting screwed over by Linda Tripp was a bigger life lesson for her than the affair. I think that was her karma bus hitting her hard. I watched these relationships play out in a big corporation when I was in my early 20s – the men liked the young ass, the girls liked getting close to power & everyone loved the titillation. It was such a cliche. Rules of engagement in the workplace need to be taught in school – it’s taboo and it shouldn’t be, ignoring it makes it acceptable, Hollywood makes it sooooo cool.

My h is stupid, he didn’t pick young and nubile from work, he went for the married dirty pillowcase. Ho hum. So he screwed up his (and our) life with a skank for whom he felt nothing – he even managed to screw up screwing around. I do derive joy from his immense shame due to trading down. Now he gets to fire her. Dumbasses, both of them.

Sara
Sara
9 years ago

I mean her issues and the media and whazzername magnifying all of it, not that her father was to blame.

Sara
Sara
9 years ago

Agreed Rock Star. And add that father of hers…

SeeTheLight
SeeTheLight
9 years ago
Reply to  Sara

Yeah, Monica was a young, loyal, female democrat, who found herself in the Oval Office. It was no doubt a big ego thrill as an intern. Everyone knows Clinton was/is a womanizer; he has tremendous charisma and ego. He probably flirted with her, she was flattered. He himself admitted that he did it because in his words, “he could.” Entitled much? And he did. And she did. If you were going to tell all (again) and didn’t give a fig about anything, because your reputation is kaput, it is no wonder she is doing it now. In the end it will still be a win-win for Hillary as she is adept at spin, “what difference does it make?” The press will just make it out as poor Hillary being harassed by that opportunist slut! But read between the lines: plenty of fault to go all around.

ThatGirl
ThatGirl
9 years ago
Reply to  SeeTheLight

Meh. Monica’s current situation is all hers to own.

Monica is an opportunist slut. Clinton is a serial cheater. A very married serial cheater. Just because he flirted with her didn’t mean she had to flirt back. She could have smiled, been polite and inwardly been flattered, but allowed it to go no further.

The fact that she ended up with a dirty dress is completely on her. Just because you’re offered cake doesn’t mean you have to eat it.

Is Bill Clinton a skeevy man whore? Yep.

But if she wasn’t a slutty opportunist, she would be joining with us calling some other chick a white house whore from the comfort of her cushy office job instead of giving interviews about dirty dresses decades later hoping for a quick buck because she’s broke.

Maree
Maree
9 years ago
Reply to  Sara

Sara, Dean is only sorry because he was caught cheating and by the way he is a lousy actor. My father used to have a saying … “Once you are caught, you are found out”! I think that says it all. Cheaters who appear to show remorse when caught are acting. If they were genuine and authentic people/humans, they wouldn’t start the deceiving in the first place.

Rumblekitty
Rumblekitty
9 years ago
Reply to  Maree

Here’s why Monica can suck balls:

Her quote,” It was a consensual relationship. Any abuse came in the aftermath, when I was made