Dear Chump Lady, I am 6 months post d-Day. My husband of 40 years finally has a move out date and I am starting to get a taste of what closure might look like. I’m still in pain, but getting better. I would like some help parsing the communication I received from the OW. She […]
UBT: ‘I Wish You Were Still Nice’
The Universal Bullshit Translator gets a lot of “It’s not what I did, it’s how you reacted” pitchforked into it. Blameshifting lays around in piles. Why can’t you chumps be NICER? Someone needs kibbles! In today’s UBT submission, Lori writes: He was on his way out last year and did a complete 180, I figure the […]
UBT: “Thank You for Always Being There”
Dear Chump Lady, My ex-husband and I were together for ten years, married for one when he asked for a divorce. I was heartbroken and didn’t understand where this was coming from (we had been trying for a baby). So, in the midst of a pandemic, I moved in with a friend and her family […]
Jeffrey Toobin’s Non-Apology Apology
I don’t understand why CNN took legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin back. I guess there is a serious articulate lawyer shortage in Washington, D.C. and New York. Not a single professional who can both comb their hair and break down complex legal issues in 90-second sound bytes. Given this unique quality — a lawyer who can […]
He’s Sorry He Got Caught
Dear Chump Lady, When I asked my husband why he kept cheating, his reply was — he never thought he’d get caught. What would have been a better response? This one isn’t comforting. Can you speak a little about what he could have done to show he’s sorry? Thanks, Anne Dear Anne, Wow. Such a short letter and […]
UBT: “Please Give Me Another Chance”
Dear Chump Lady, I found your blog through my aunt after discovering my husband was having an affair after 19 years of marriage. We married while XH was in medical school. We then went through his anesthesia residency, we had two biological children and we adopted three older children (at the same time – siblings), […]
Reconciliation with the Timid Forest Creature
After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater is sorry or not sorry, the infidelity is a deal breaker. If you choose reconciliation, however, the matter of How Sorry Are They comes to the forefront of the decision. […]
UBT: “I Made a List”
Dear Chump Lady: After my divorce from an abusive man, I didn’t date seriously until 4 years later when I met the SparkleD*ck. He was an accomplished professional engineer, as were all his friends, and I’m a first responder. I didn’t want to be “judgey” in this relationship or seem like the “lower educated one.” […]
The Dying OW’s Confession
Dear Chump Lady: My soon-to-be-ex, was a serial cheater. D-Day #1 was in August of 2018, when one of his mistresses sent a confession email to me at my work email address (with pictures attached!) to tell me how “sorry” she felt. Even though she was sorry, she used a fake name for her email. […]
The Apology That Wasn’t
The UBT lives on a steady diet of cookies and non-apology apologies. Why just this week it regurgitated “I feel pain” and “I have grown a lot” — self-pity and self-congratulation passed off as remorse. There’s a lot of lame-ass sorry going around. Anyone following the lurid story of NXIVM? Head creep and sex cult freak […]
