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UBT: “I Made a List”

January 25, 2021 by Chump Lady

promise bullshit

Dear Chump Lady: After my divorce from an abusive man, I didn’t date seriously until 4 years later when I met the SparkleD*ck. He was an accomplished professional engineer, as were all his friends, and I’m a first responder. I didn’t want to be “judgey” in this relationship or seem like the “lower educated one.” […]

Filed Under: No contact, universal bullshit translator Tagged With: No Contact, Sorry Not Sorry, Universal Bullshit Translator 78 Comments

The Dying OW’s Confession

December 28, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady: My soon-to-be-ex, was a serial cheater. D-Day #1 was in August of 2018, when one of his mistresses sent a confession email to me at my work email address (with pictures attached!) to tell me how “sorry” she felt. Even though she was sorry, she used a fake name for her email. […]

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Forgiveness, Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse, Other Woman, Remorse, Sorry Not Sorry, Universal Bullshit Translator

The Apology That Wasn’t

October 30, 2020 by Chump Lady

Narcissist Goldfish

The UBT lives on a steady diet of cookies and non-apology apologies. Why just this week it regurgitated “I feel pain” and “I have grown a lot” — self-pity and self-congratulation passed off as remorse. There’s a lot of lame-ass sorry going around. Anyone following the lurid story of NXIVM? Head creep and sex cult freak […]

Filed Under: Gaslighting, Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse Tagged With: Sorry Not Sorry

UBT: “You Might Appreciate Knowing Some of This”

October 28, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I’m a chump a year and a half out with 5 kids and a 25 year marriage. Your website, friends and a good therapist have saved my life. My cheater led a double life wherein he hired a firm to coach him how to get women, he hired high end prostitutes, has […]

Filed Under: universal bullshit translator Tagged With: Sorry Not Sorry, Universal Bullshit Translator

UBT: ‘Shortcut to Happiness’

July 22, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I could really use the Universal Bullshit Translator to determine if this is a genuine apology. We have an 11 year relationship with 2 kids riding on it. D-day was 4 months ago. The context: his affair lasted over a year and was with a 28-year-old coworker (I’m 39, he is 37) and […]

Filed Under: Cake Eating, universal bullshit translator Tagged With: Happiness, Sorry Not Sorry, Universal Bullshit Translator

UBT: I Was Too Much Into My Own Lies

July 20, 2020 by Chump Lady

A bag of narcissist ego chow

Hey Chump Lady, I finally heard from my ex-wife after almost a year. Quick recap — she admitted to having affairs in our marriage and then ran away with another guy. I was wondering if I could submit this letter to the Universal Bullshit Translator: “I know that I did some fucked up shit and […]

Filed Under: Deception, Trust that they suck Tagged With: Lying, Narcissist, Sorry Not Sorry, Universal Bullshit Translator

Yeah, That’s Not an Apology

June 30, 2020 by Chump Lady

Today’s column is on Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse. You know, those weak-ass apologies that upon closer inspection don’t really convey “sorry” at all. If you’re a chump, you’ve probably put a lot of stock in weak-ass apologies. Maybe you even begged for a weak-ass apology, got one, and inferred great depths of humanity from it. Today I’m […]

Filed Under: Blameshifting, Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse, universal bullshit translator Tagged With: Bad apologies, Sorry Not Sorry

The Stupid Things People Say to Chumps

June 12, 2020 by Chump Lady

People say a lot of stupid, insensitive things to chumps. It’s everything from the grossly mistaken — “Gee, the affair partner doesn’t seem all that bad!” To the dunderheaded smugness of, “I’m so glad my husband would never cheat on me.” (Bully for you.) Chumps, being pretty nice people, are usually taken completely off guard. […]

Filed Under: Trust that they suck Tagged With: Not helpful, Sorry Not Sorry

The OW Recommends a Self-Help Book

February 10, 2020 by Chump Lady

Voodoo doll

Hi Chump Lady! I wrote to you over the holiday’s, detailing how my cheating EX got cheated on by his mistress and how karma, completely un-looked for at this stage, caught up with him. WELL….Today I received a package (at my office!) from the EX mistress with an “inspirational book” and a letter from the […]

Filed Under: Other Women, Quacks, universal bullshit translator Tagged With: Sorry Not Sorry, Universal Bullshit Translator

UBT: ‘It’s not all sunshine and rainbows over here’

January 16, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I separated last year after she had a year-long affair with a colleague from work. Later on it had become apparent that she had seen other guys prior as well, over years , she went to the city where her parents live and went out to bars to meet […]

Filed Under: universal bullshit translator Tagged With: Bad apologies, Grey Rock, Sorry Not Sorry, Universal Bullshit Translator

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