Dear Chump Lady, I could really use the Universal Bullshit Translator to determine if this is a genuine apology. We have an 11 year relationship with 2 kids riding on it. D-day was 4 months ago. The context: his affair lasted over a year and was with a 28-year-old coworker (I’m 39, he is 37) and […]
UBT: I Was Too Much Into My Own Lies
Hey Chump Lady, I finally heard from my ex-wife after almost a year. Quick recap — she admitted to having affairs in our marriage and then ran away with another guy. I was wondering if I could submit this letter to the Universal Bullshit Translator: “I know that I did some fucked up shit and […]
Yeah, That’s Not an Apology
Today’s column is on Genuine Imitation Naugahyde Remorse. You know, those weak-ass apologies that upon closer inspection don’t really convey “sorry” at all. If you’re a chump, you’ve probably put a lot of stock in weak-ass apologies. Maybe you even begged for a weak-ass apology, got one, and inferred great depths of humanity from it. Today I’m […]
The Stupid Things People Say to Chumps
People say a lot of stupid, insensitive things to chumps. It’s everything from the grossly mistaken — “Gee, the affair partner doesn’t seem all that bad!” To the dunderheaded smugness of, “I’m so glad my husband would never cheat on me.” (Bully for you.) Chumps, being pretty nice people, are usually taken completely off guard. […]
The OW Recommends a Self-Help Book
Hi Chump Lady! I wrote to you over the holiday’s, detailing how my cheating EX got cheated on by his mistress and how karma, completely un-looked for at this stage, caught up with him. WELL….Today I received a package (at my office!) from the EX mistress with an “inspirational book” and a letter from the […]
UBT: ‘It’s not all sunshine and rainbows over here’
Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I separated last year after she had a year-long affair with a colleague from work. Later on it had become apparent that she had seen other guys prior as well, over years , she went to the city where her parents live and went out to bars to meet […]
UBT: ‘Don’t give up on me!’
Dear Chump Lady, Long-time reader, first-time UBT submitter. I’m a gay man and was with my ex-boyfriend for about 7 years. I need some UBT help on a handwritten letter I got from him after official no-contact for a month and some change. I still love him and am weak in the knees after getting […]
Bad Apologies
If you’ve been through the meat grinder of betrayal, you’ve probably gotten some really lousy apologies. “I’m sorry your errant chin hair has compelled me to cheat. Belinda is always perfectly groomed. My deepest regrets on not being Belinda.” or “Apologies for me not following my true happiness. I know you only want the best […]
UBT: “I’m sorry you feel that way”
Dear Chump Lady, Married 24 years, together 27 years. Discovered he had affair with married coworker for over two years all the while “communicating” with escorts. He left Jan 1, 2018. Usual chump bullshit for about 3 months, then I found you. (BTW, you were the only helpful thing during this…. even better than my […]
UBT: The OW apologizes…. 2.5 years later
Dear Chump Lady, After reading Amazon Chump’s UBT, I was “triggered” to recall a similarly bizarre and unsolicited email I received from Mr. Sparkles Other Woman #928 after she broke up with him when she found out he was still trolling Adult Friend Finder for sex with women, couples, groups in spite of their “twu […]
