UBT Me, Please

deserveWell, this doesn’t happen very often. A cheater submitted their OWN bullshit to the Universal Bullshit Translator.

Yes. Really.

This blog is absolute crap! I believe that the infidelity person should be given a second chance to prove that they can have the life they had before they caused and made a big mess of “you’ve made your bed now lie in it.” I had a 4-month affair, it was shit and I don’t know what made me keep going back there to this prick of a guy I was cheating on my husband with. My husband is my home and heart I’m just the Asshole that that became greedy not a “narcissist” as you keep labelling people. This is not stupid shit people say. I want my husband back and I want the life I had with him back. I love him with all my heart!

Nic

Dear Nic,

You asked for it…

This blog is absolute crap!

The UBT’s feelings are incredibly hurt by a self-described asshole. The depth of the UBT’s pain is proportional to the deep admiration it has for your morals… and first-rate ability to craft run-on sentences.

I believe that the infidelity person

“Cheater” is such an ugly word. Infidelity person is just one of those randomly assigned labels. Like “Tadpole” when you’re put in the slow pool and you really believe you’re a Dolphin.

should be given a second chance to prove that they can have the life they had before they caused and made a big mess of “you’ve made your bed now lie in it.”

I’m entitled to a second chance. Big messy beds consequences suck. If you give me a second chance, I will PROVE that I can turn back time to those simpler days… when you were a chump.

I had a 4-month affair, it was shit and I don’t know what made me keep going back there to this prick of a guy I was cheating on my husband with.

I have no idea why I had a 4-month affair. Maybe if I can go back in time and cheat all over again, I’ll figure it out! My moral befuddlement should totally reassure you. Let’s stay married!

My husband is my home and heart

The prick is just a guy I like to fuck.

He doesn’t have a home (or one I’m welcome in), so I need a place to crash. I LOVE YOU BABY! Fluff the pillows, I’m coming home!

I’m just the Asshole that that became greedy not a “narcissist” as you keep labelling people.

Greedy asshole is so much nicer than “narcissist.”

I don’t know how infidelity people become greedy. Just one of those messy bed things. We should stop labeling tadpoles.

This is not stupid shit people say.

No. I wrote this stupid shit.

I want my husband back and I want the life I had with him back.

I don’t really care what he wants. I miss cake.

I love him with all my heart!

He dumped me! And my prick boyfriend did too.

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Carol
Carol
7 years ago

LOL!! “Infidelity people”? You can’t make this shit up! Lost my coffee at “fluff the pillows”!!

Mirad
Mirad
7 years ago
Reply to  Carol

I know! Infidelity person?!! The cheater should’ve taken some writing and grammar courses instead of hopping into bed.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Mirad

I doubt Nic can get through “Goodnight, Moon” in one sitting.

whatthefuckever
whatthefuckever
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

goodnight, bowl of mush!

Kar marie
Kar marie
7 years ago

Maybe since the rci likes to relabel and make up terms instead of infidelity persons it should be managomy challenged or something. Nic is a idiot.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
7 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Tempest, you are beautiful! Ha!

Just around the bend
Just around the bend
7 years ago
Reply to  Carol

Makes me think of Ben Carson when he on TV related his own “gun pointed on him” situation in which he was trying to get his supper at a “Pah – Pie’s” organization. Just as he was putting his take-away supper in his satchel……. a gun was pointed on him and he advised the gun person that some one else was more worthy of being that gun person’s target…….

And so we have infidelity person, is that akin to a resource person, an ideas person and so on…….

uneffingbelievable
uneffingbelievable
7 years ago

Greedy Asshole is the definition of narcissist. It’s not just a label, it’s a lifestyle, Nic! One which you’ve fully embraced! Now, get thee to a library!

ChumpDad
ChumpDad
7 years ago

The day before D-day 2, my now XW posted a meme on facebook

It is not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, & to make happiness a priority. It is necessary.

This was about 4 months into a documented physical affair.

NoLongerMyProblem
NoLongerMyProblem
7 years ago
Reply to  ChumpDad

I prefer the more succinct slogan: Life’s too short to be an asshole. Of course, that’s not as pretty as all the happiness bullshit and obviously it would never occur to the cheaters that, yes, sleeping with other people when you’re in a committed relationship makes them an asshole.

JannaG
JannaG
7 years ago
Reply to  ChumpDad

It isn’t necessarily selfish to love yourself or take care of yourself or make happiness a priority, but the way cheaters go about trying to accomplish those goals IS selfish. Some people would find happiness by being kind to others. Some people would love themselves by setting healthy boundaries. Some people think “taking care of yourself” means taking the time to rest, eat healthy and exercise in between giving to others. In fact, I think having healthy boundaries and reciprocating is more likely to bring lasting happiness over the long run. A self centered person doesn’t always see it that way, unfortunately.

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
7 years ago
Reply to  ChumpDad

omg, thought i was the only one to hear such self serving crap….my favorite…don’t ever feel bad for making a decision about your own life that upsets people. you’re not responsible for their happiness. you are only responsible for your own happiness. anyone who wants you to live in misery shouldn’t be in your life to begin with…. so much bullshit to translate!

wat700
wat700
7 years ago
Reply to  ChumpDad

Yes they love posting self serving drivel!

My cheating ex found a variety of quotes online such as “your words have no effect anymore as your actions have showed me who you really are” and others along a similar theme.

I caught her looking them up on my computer. After I kicked her out she had them stuck to the wall next to her desk at work for everyone to see and feel sorry for her.

Her motivation was because the OM of 18mths had “used her” and “dumped her” and she wanted sympathy from everyone.

Freak!

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  wat700

Wat700 this letter did remind me of your ex. I just found and reread her letter. God bless you for the trouble she put you through. Hope you are doing well in your new post!! Her letter I will say is funniest/craziest/most asinine. Jeez!!! I actually reread it fairly often when my own ex drives me crazy. We have kids together. ?

wat700
wat700
7 years ago
Reply to  Kay

Thanks Kay. Doing well in my new location near family, friends and far away from the crazy cheater. I re read the UBT every so often as well when I need a laugh.

Sorry to hear you have to co parent with the crazy. Must be tough. Stay mighty!

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
7 years ago
Reply to  Kay

/Google-fu *not* Google-foo

My OCD is strong tonight.

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
7 years ago
Reply to  Kay

Another cheater UBT? Link please? My Foogle-foo is weak tonight.

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
7 years ago
Reply to  Kay

Sweeeeet.

[Is the WordPress login borked for anyone else? I’m having issues on Safari and iPhone. Oh well, it’s manageable. They’ll push an update soon enough too.]

JannaG
JannaG
7 years ago
Reply to  wat700

“your words have no effect anymore as your actions have showed me who you really are”

I think that is what YOU should be saying to HER. I mean, really, the OM just treated her the way she treated you. She was basically just getting a taste of her own medicine.

Untold
Untold
7 years ago
Reply to  ChumpDad

Another chump dad chiming in. My CW does a lot of those same kind of memes. Just recently, she posted one from Dalai Lama who said “The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” Really? That’s all? At any cost to anyone or anything? C’mon.

Are those kind of memes a trademark of NPDs and BPDs?

WhereisMia
WhereisMia
7 years ago
Reply to  Untold

Yes …. And fuck this new age shit including mr Dalai Lama schmarma sweeping memes on how one should live their self absorbed lives. Recently dated guy who after first date sent me lama schmuck via text after dinner ‘to impress me with his worldly wisdom’ seeing he’s into the eastern namaste shit and all… You know what he got back? CRICKETS ! Yuck these assholes suck I’m done and today I’m so fucking angry and this is 3rd year post DD#2.

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Untold

Untold, tell youe CW that Dalai Lama also says: “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
7 years ago

It’s funny how assholes only use the part of that quote that justifies their bullshit, the entire quote is quite different. What the Dalai Lama actually said was

““I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace.””

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  ChumpDad

Howdy ChumpDad-

From one chump dad to another – enjoy…

“It is not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, & to make happiness a priority. It is necessary.”

Here is my UBT on your ex-wife’s bullshit:
My husband caught me cheating before and I have a feeling that he will catch me again. So I am wanted to get this narrative out there before you all get the real truth. Everyone MUST know that it’s completely acceptable and justifiable to decimate people’s lives – at any cost – knowing you will gain something out of it.

Anita
Anita
7 years ago

I think Nic needs a course in English Composition before the library. It’s doubtful she has the reading skills needed at the library.

TheClip
TheClip
7 years ago
Reply to  Anita

I am one of the worst writer/spellers on this blog… I have horrible typing skills and use punctuation at times is merely a suggestion. If i went thru every post with a fine grammatical comb i would not have the time to post comments or thoughts. My posts at times are more cathartic then comments. Things I need to purge because they are eating me up. My fingers and key board can not keep up to the speed of my thoughts and at times , many times, my grammar and sentence structure is poor. I dont need my grammar scrutinized. I need support and so do others who may not feel comfortable posting because of language barriers ( whatever they may be) I had been reading this blog for a long time before I got brave enough to post.
The language on this site is much higher than a lot of forums and while educational it can scare off people who may have trouble expressing themselves in script. I know I have had to bust out the dictionary more than once! I dont have a higher education, a title or a scribe. I am smart. I read…a lot.
I think what is important is the message. And if somone has trouble getting that across… Try to be kind.

The cheater who posted is just using semantics. She doesnt like the urban dictionary version of ‘ infidelity’ …she is a fuckin cheetah.

KeepAwayNarcs
KeepAwayNarcs
7 years ago
Reply to  TheClip

TheClip, I enjoy reading your contributions. I think you express yourself very well through your writing; you need not be a literary scholar to get your point across. I love that you consult the dictionary to look up words. People who want to learn are so attractive. The writing here is high-level (a standard set by our smart and witty Tracy Chump Lady, no doubt).

I lurked on this site for a few months before I started posting comments. I wonder if Tracy has stats on how many lurkers this website attract? Anyway, I wanted to express my appreciation for CL and CN, and also reciprocate by supporting others here. I still feel shy about commenting regularly, even though I’m here nearly every day to read. I’ve learned so much already and the humor has helped lighten some of the hurt. Thanks to all.

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
7 years ago
Reply to  TheClip

TheClip,

Your point is well-taken. I am certainly guilty of throwing shade on people who write to Chump Lady. However, for me it’s always meant to belittle the Cheaters and Cheater Apologists. I hope it never comes across as a slight to other Chumps. I read everyone’s posts with great interest and an open mind. This topic is rife with emotional agony. Of course one’s post will be missives from the heart. Thank you for you insightful and hilarious posts Clip. I am grateful you were here when I needed help.

uneffingbelievable
uneffingbelievable
7 years ago
Reply to  Anita

So true, Anita. With all those confusing books being in alphabetical order, and such.

Brittneyk
Brittneyk
7 years ago

Oh my. Cheaters are so misunderstood right? ????? what a complete load of ?

UnchumpingMyself
UnchumpingMyself
7 years ago

Said the entitled toddler. Because toddlers and small children are the only people expected to throw tantrums. You, on the other hand, Nic are and adult. Please start acting like one! Narcs are toddlers in disguise on the other hand, by the way. Go figure!

jj
jj
7 years ago

My toddlers were both always more mature than their cheater dad.

UnchumpingMyself
UnchumpingMyself
7 years ago
Reply to  jj

Toddlers and kids are also honest and fun and sweet. Adult narcs are just assholes.

Kimberly
Kimberly
7 years ago

following.

KJ
KJ
7 years ago

I was having one of those very sad, tearful mornings. I had a dream about when life was good, and it felt so real that I woke up in tears and just couldn’t shake the sadness, desperately missing what we had before the cheating. And then I came here and read this. And now I’m like HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA eat my dust cheaters!! ???

TheMuse
TheMuse
7 years ago
Reply to  KJ

Hooray! I hope the rest of your day continued in the same vein. sometimes humor (and CL!) is needed.

strong woman
strong woman
7 years ago

Why isn’t she entitled to a second chance, damn it! He’s such a meanie. (Stomping her feet).

marriagerecovery
marriagerecovery
7 years ago

“Infidelity person” Ha ha ha ha ha

MovingOn
MovingOn
7 years ago

This reeks of entitlement. A one night stand would be bad enough, but four months of returning to “the prick”? You blew it (literally and figuratively), honey. Now do the right thing and give your STBX the settlement and custody that he deserves. If you want to show that you love him, that would be the right thing to do, not spewing your misdirected venom at this blog. What, exactly, are the Infidelity People, exactly? Is that similar to the Pod People?

JannaG
JannaG
7 years ago
Reply to  MovingOn

“The prick?” Why is he a prick? Did he leave?

JannaG
JannaG
7 years ago
Reply to  JannaG

Because, I’m guessing he wasnt “a prick” for the four months she was with him.

Peaceful chump1111
Peaceful chump1111
7 years ago

Aww. Poor nic. She sounds so remorseful, sorry, and nurturing toward her husband and all of the chumps on this blog who have been hurt before. She truly cares about all of the things damaged to her husband and chumps alike. NOT!!!!!!!!

chjrn
chjrn
7 years ago

Nic is definitely a cake eater.

CakelessinKalamazoo
CakelessinKalamazoo
7 years ago

“I had a 4-month affair, it was shit and I don’t know what made me keep going back there to this prick of a guy I was cheating on my husband with.”

Ummm… Because you got all the fun and sexy bits of a relationship without the work? This infuriates me so much. Cheaters never know why, or “It just happened.” or “I don’t even remember who made the first move.”

Funny, my two-year-old has more self control and ideas of what is and is not appropriate than most cheaters do, and I dare say her grasp of cause and effect is outpacing that of her dad these days as well.

It happened because you wanted to prove a point as in look at how desirable I am despite my personality and short comings! It happened because you found another chump whose sense of self-worth is even lower than that of your long-suffering, endlessly patient yet neglected spouse. And it happened because like other narcicists, you need to make yourself feel better at the expense of someone else. And it will continue to happen to poor, misunderstood you because you are incapable of loving and truly knowing yourself, never mind the fuck piece of the moment you use to demolish your current relationship.

Sorry not sorry. I just spent St. Patrick’s Day with my kids, the boys blissfully happy, the girls confused, sad and pensive… Even the baby because she’s got a cold. The ex dropped off the kids after my older daughter’s dance class… And this year, he also dropped off the dinner we used to eat as a family while doused in cheap cologne “Since it is St. Patrick’s Day and all.”, no doubt on his way to get wasted and bang the shamrocks out of the whore while we sat there staring at our consolation plates. Of course it is one of his favorite holidays.

But at least he remembered us this year! But he offered to do it for the kids! And he paid for it! Nope. I felt like a war general scrutinizing my plate looking for the poison hidden among the cabbage and potatoes. WTF? When he offered to do it I so wanted to tell him where he could drop off his corned beef and cabbage and all I could manage is,”I wasn’t planning anything because I’m not Irish.” And then I thought that the kids might ask what we would do for the holiday, he could mention that he’d offered and I’d turned him down and so I bit the most unpleasant tasting bullet and graciously said thanks.

My older daughter and I could barely touch the food, my special needs boys wolfed theirs down and didn’t see the problem and I felt like such a bitch for not being able to keep up the perky façade and at least feign appreciation for his “efforts.”

I feel knocked down about twenty pegs this morning, am sick and just want to get some sleep. But the kids await and the baby can’t look after herself…

And hey. At least he thought of us, right? *tosses food in the trash*

movin_on
movin_on
7 years ago

God, that’s rough, Cakeless. I’m so sorry the day sucked beyond measure. I hope and pray that, when you look back on St. Patrick’s Day 2016, you will throw your shoulders back and say “I made it through” and be proud as hell. (Good Lord, don’t beat yourself up for not putting on the fake smile. PucksMuse is so right.)

I honestly can’t imagine having so many little ones depending on me when I could barely put one foot in front of the other during the worst of this shit. It was grueling with my one (and it’s grueling without any kids). You are so mighty. So very mighty. Don’t you forget it. (((((HUGS))))))

CakelessinKalamazoo
CakelessinKalamazoo
7 years ago
Reply to  movin_on

Thanks, everyone. It’s far from over since we have kids together, but my goal is to make it more about us and less about them every day. While I can’t get rid of him entirely (and that isn’t entirely my decision anyway, dam it), I am busily trying very hard to minimize the real estate he takes up in my thoughts. Today is the OW’s birthday, and I first thought about all the things they must be doing to celebrate. And then I remember my birthdays and how they became less and less of a big deal to him every year… The fights, the not wanting to take me out, the casual handoff of presents, and then of course the too tired/drunk/uninterested for a little adult birthday present once the kids went to bed, and I laugh.

Happy birthday, bitch. As each year passes, you’ll understand why I got so very unhappy, and this is the gift that will keep on giving. Enjoy it since you so eagerly wanted to take my place. 😉

kb
kb
7 years ago

This.

My cheater was always sucky about my birthday. If it was on a week night, we’d not go out to dinner. If I made a big stink, he would grudgingly get supermarket birthday cake. If it was on the weekend, we’d go to dinner only on a Friday night, since that was the only night he’d go out. And we’d have to go to a restaurant he liked, not one I wanted to try.

One year, I realized that my office mates made more of a deal of my birthday than my then-husband. The next year, I traveled to family, because at least there I’d have cake and have a happy birthday sung.

My cheater loves to love bomb. As much as OW is a woman of negotiable virtue, and as much as she sticks with him because he’s paid for her lifestyle, she’s still treated like shit. However, now that I’ve divorced him and he has a greatly-reduced kibble supply, he has to keep the kibble safe.

That means that he lovebombs her when she gets really unhappy.

I keep thinking, “yeah, right. You used to text him to divorce me because you were the only woman who knew what it took to make him happy. Well, I divorced his sorry ass, and you get to keep a man who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about your happiness as long as you keep him happy.”

Kay
Kay
7 years ago

So well spoken cakeless. I could read this over and over. I work with kids with special needs and have an idea of the energy it takes! Prayers for you right now!! You are such an amazing blessing to your kids and it will come back to you. These situations certainly do suck though. The kids. It just hurts me so much.

Jeep
Jeep
7 years ago

Cakeless, your new life is gonna be so full of love and light! So much better!

It never ceases to amaze me how these disordered assholes just forget that their kids are completely aware of their behaviors and it will color how the kids feel about them for the rest of their lives. Kids aren’t stupid just cause they are young. They see the pain inflicted on the wronged spouse.

I was there for my mother everyday that she needed me, despite whatever hoops I might have had to jump through to make whatever she needed happen. My violent alcoholic narcissistic father notsamuch. I witnessed what he put her through all my young life. Most dogs are treated better than he treated her and us.

Your kids know the truth of your situation. Your kids won’t forget either.

paintwidow
paintwidow
7 years ago
Reply to  Jeep

I agree. My kids are 18 and 24 and have no contact with their dad or his affair partner. He likes to blame it on me….says I poisoned them by letting them see my pain and sharing details of the divorce and why it happened with them. If you ask them, they say it was none of that. They were like ” mom, we saw it all our lives…”
Kids are wise.

Jeep
Jeep
7 years ago
Reply to  paintwidow

They write their own narrative and believe it despite what the kids are saying to them. I know I almost went over the table to choke my dad when he stated, ‘Your mom just loved me so much she didn’t care that I had girlfriends!’ He ACTUALLY said that to his adult daughters, my sister and I…

…later, after my sister had taken him away she texted me that dad said, ‘I never thought I’d see the day Jeep would hate men.’ Wha????

…see how their minds work? Ugh!

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago

Cakeless…

Sometimes, we lose a battle to win a war.

Those of us who have bred with the fucktards will have years of shit sandwich battles ahead, no sugar-coating that fact. We’ll win some and we’ll lose some.

But, teaching our children to be gracious in the face of adversity is an honorable life lesson.

And, throwing the shit in the trash the minute after the douchebag leaves and making bowls of popcorn for everyone is equally honorable.

You’re doing your best each day… and that is MORE than enough!

PucksMuse
PucksMuse
7 years ago

Also, “WHAAAAAAAAAAA, I didn’t KNOW there were going to be consequences for the life-altering decisions I made! That’s not FAAAAAAAAIR.”

Yeah, there are no “consequence free” do overs in life. This is not a video game. This is your husband not wanting to let you back into his life and pretend that you aren’t the type of woman that would throw his love and your marriage aside for some prick you don’t even like. People are funny that way.

KarenE
KarenE
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

Actually, at least on the part of my cheater ex, it’s “Wahhhh, I carefully avoided thinking about any possible consequences, for myself or my kids, never mind my wife, because I’m so special I get to do WHATEVER I WANT, whenever I want, with whomever I want, and there is no such thing as consequences”. Followed later, of course, with “Oh shit, there are consequences! How could you be so mean! Take away those consequences immediately, you mean person! Those are your fault, you’re so self-righteous and mean!”

PucksMuse
PucksMuse
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

Dang it, I meant that to be a general reply to the letter, not a reply to Cakeless in Kalamazoo. Sorry, Cakeless!

PucksMuse
PucksMuse
7 years ago

No. You being unable to fake a smile through your special holiday consolation shit sandwich does not make you a bitch. It makes you a person with dignity and a strong sense of when you’re being condescended to. He was trying to look like a stand-up, “not a narcissist asshole who broke up his family to chase skanks and left his wife with multiple children to take care of.” The problem is, he IS a narcissist asshole who broke up his family to chase skanks and left his wife with multiple children to take care of. And a couple of plates of cabbage and potatoes won’t fix that. You knew it was a lame attempt at maintaining a tradition at the most basic and half-assed level, and so did he. You’re not required to fake it until you make it.

Your boys may never understand the big picture of what happened to their family. But your girls seem to be seeing their father’s actions for what they are. And while that sucks right now, it’s going to be better in the long run. They’re going to know which parent loved them and supported them and took care of them, and which parent dropped off token cabbage and potatoes on his way to his true priority – the bar and shamrock draped skanks. And that will help them in the long run.

I’m so sorry. I hope everybody gets over their colds soon.

Movingon@51
Movingon@51
7 years ago
Reply to  PucksMuse

And if he couldn’t be there himself, he wanted to provide tradition of what you all used to eat together on his favourite holiday so that you would think of him in some shape or form( i.e. Cake/kibbles) I’d drop that tradition in future so that you don’t think of him at all !

arlo
arlo
7 years ago

Hey NIC, fun fact: At birth, baby elephants weigh about 250 lbs, making them the biggest babies on earth right after your bitch ass.

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
7 years ago
Reply to  arlo

ROTFLMAO, Arlo!!!! Awesome!!!

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  arlo

I see a baby elephant badge in our future….

Fifi
Fifi
7 years ago
Reply to  arlo

Oh God, Arlo! I am not worthy.

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago
Reply to  arlo

Genius!

NoLongerMyProblem
NoLongerMyProblem
7 years ago
Reply to  arlo

I am rolling over here. I’m definitely going to use this!

UnchumpingMyself
UnchumpingMyself
7 years ago
Reply to  arlo

Ahahahahahahaha!!! Word.

CakelessinKalamazoo
CakelessinKalamazoo
7 years ago

*snort* Right?

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  arlo

Oh, you are GOOD!!! Thanks for the laugh!

kar marie
kar marie
7 years ago

Definately sounds like a pod person.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago

““Cheater” is such an ugly word. Infidelity person is just one of those randomly assigned labels. Like “Tadpole” when you’re put in the slow pool and you really believe you’re a Dolphin.”

LMAO – Thank you CL, this made my day, now I cannot see cheaters for anything but the tadpoles from “Flushed Away:”

Tadpole

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Chumptitude

A+, C!humptitude

Arlo
Arlo
7 years ago
Reply to  Chumptitude

LOL!!!!!!!

Hell2theNO
Hell2theNO
7 years ago

“…prove I can have the life I had before..” Ew, ew, ew! I know this one!

((You know, the life where you believed all my lies. The one where I got strange kibbles AND I got to pretend I was some great spy. Let’s try it again! I can take my game to some MI-5 level!))

ANC
ANC
7 years ago

No sympathy for you, Nic. You are an ADULT who made ADULT decisions and executed them fully aware that your were MARRIED. You DECEIVED your spouse. You LIED to your family. You STOLE money and time from your husband to fuck your prick.

We INFIDELITY RECEIVERS survive this marriage douchebaggery and we move on. Buh-bye!

(way to go, former Mr. Nic! You will find someone worthy to share your life with.)

FicoChump
FicoChump
7 years ago

Good UBT for a Friday!! Happy Friday! She is so mess up that she wrote to CL, she said “UBT Me”, she does not like being call a “cheater” and she is telling us she wants “her husband back” like we are going to give her advice on that!!! She came to the LION ?den!!! Let’s get going CN. ?

renewed
renewed
7 years ago

“The prick is just a guy I like to fuck.

He doesn’t have a home (or one I’m welcome in), so I need a place to crash. I LOVE YOU BABY! Fluff the pillows, I’m coming home!”

Dead on, the bar for sex partners is set real low. She realizes she literally screwed herslf and hubby will most likely toss her out on her ass. It never ceases to amaze me what people will do and give up for casual sex. OW married but ex was all to happy to sup on sloppy seconds…ewww.

renewed
renewed
7 years ago
Reply to  renewed

From a guys perspective-She literally expects her hubby to partake of another man’s fluid of life. one can only guess what other critters may be there.

carolyn
carolyn
7 years ago

This letter is riddled with “I want”s and I deserve with no sense of her caring about what her husband wants or any sense of empathy for him — or even that he is a real person with feeling worthy of anything than being “her” heart and home. But, she’s not a narcissist. . . Wow.

LovedAJackass
LovedAJackass
7 years ago
Reply to  carolyn

When a cheater says “I’m an asshole,” pay attention. Most people don’t think of themselves as assholes. So what you are getting is a a revelation of how that person thinks about her (or his) own character. It’s now one of my big rules: You tell me you’re an asshole and I’m out of here, whether the person is a friend or a colleague. I gave up assholes for good. And all chumps should remember that when they got married to that cheater, they didn’t think they were getting an asshole. Dealbreaker.

BetterDays
BetterDays
7 years ago
Reply to  LovedAJackass

LAJ – That’s a great rule. The Entitled One used to say stuff like that too and I thought it was a sign of self-awareness. Actually, LOL, I guess it was just not in the way I thought!

carolyn
carolyn
7 years ago
Reply to  LovedAJackass

That is exactly what my ex would say/says. “I am just an average asshole.” As if it was a defense or excuse or chronic, uncurable condition. . .not a choice about how he behaved. I steer clear of assholes these days too.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  carolyn

Mine ended a string of post-D-day texts with “signing off, your narcissistic piece of shit.” Who was I to contradict him?

LovedAJackass
LovedAJackass
7 years ago
Reply to  carolyn

That was the point I was going to make–not one word about the husband who was devastated, no doubt, by this affair. So, Chump Nation, this is what “cheater remorse” adds up to–a whole bunch of statements about what the cheater feels, needs and wants. And not one word about the pain of the chump.

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
7 years ago
Reply to  carolyn

Exactly carolyn! That was my first thought too. Not a word about her partner’s feelings, or the pain and shame of having to go for a full round of STD testing or anything at all, just what she want, but of course just because all she talks about is herself doesn’t mean she’s a narcissist. Actually, yeah, it looks that way from here. Your husband might be your home and your heart but it looks like he wised up and evicted you, Nic. We hope he finds the love and support he needs to break away from you, if not among his friends and family, then here at CN.

justanotherchump
justanotherchump
7 years ago
Reply to  carolyn

Well, shucks, carolyn,
Isn’t that the definition of a narcissist. “I want…I deserve…”
I too noticed the complete lack of remorse or concern for her husband only the sense of loss for what she had before. From all he entries from our male chumps ain’t no going back to home port once you sailed good ship “prick of a guy”. Hubby might take you back (in a fit of chumpy stupidity) but he will never ever trust you again.
Ooh I’m sorry I banged somebody repeatedly for 4 months, neglected my children’s and husband’s needs but now that I have been all repentant nobody has the right to bitch about how the cheated people feel. Only I the cheater am allowed to feel disappointment, sadness and depression at the sad state of no more strange while continuing to enjoy the fruits of my chumps labours. How dare the chumps be angry or spiteful! Stop trying to make me feel er…LOOK bad.

KarenE
KarenE
7 years ago

And she’s not even repentant! The cheater sex was crap and the cheater partner was crap, so OF COURSE she should be able to get her pre-cheating life back. She only regrets that it wasn’t any good and didn’t work out. You know, like a money-back guarantee; if not satisfied with the affair, just get your marriage back!

HopeAndGloria
HopeAndGloria
7 years ago
Reply to  KarenE

That’s ‘buyer’s remorse’.

“Hey, when I decided to pick up this Other Guy somewhere and start doing him behind my husband’s back, I thought THAT was the happily-ever-after! I mean, I was HAPPY and I was FUCKING AWESOME and that’s exactly what my world was meant to be! No one TOLD me that my husband would find out, kick me to the curb, and throw my Other Guy Pick Up heels and strappy tops into the curb after me! Then when I told Other Guy that he ‘won’ me and we could be together forever and ever, and said I’d like to receive the keys to his apartment please, he looked horrified, ran away, and blocked me from the phone he used to sext me with all the time! Can you believe that?! I — I — I — I want a do-over! Not fair not fair not fair! I didn’t buy into this shit! I bought into the FUCKING AWESOME ME lifestyle! Is there someone more senior I can complain to?! Doesn’t anyone understand my problem here?!”

Heh heh

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
7 years ago

But she’s not a cheater! She’s an infidelity person! 😉

UnicornSlayer
UnicornSlayer
7 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

Cue the superhero music – “What’s that over there? It’s a bird, it’s a plane – NO! It’s Infidelity Person! Able to leap on strange dick in a single bound”. Too much!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

MY UBT- She’s a fucking, CHEATING, dirty, whore! I’m glad Mr. Nic tossed her ass to the curb! I don’t like to mince words. 🙂

Scott
Scott
7 years ago

My XW tells anyone who will listen that she never cheated. Instead, she just fell out of love and happened to develop feelings for the neighbor. These people are cut from the same cloth and will not accept responsibility for themselves.

MrsVain
MrsVain
7 years ago
Reply to  Scott

the exhole tells everyone that he never cheated on his wife (me) because each time we were “separated” or “broken up”… … … … of course he NEVER tells anyone all the crappy and hateful shit HE DID BEFORE we separated. PLUS i never believed that separated meant that it was ok to f*ck other people. i always thought that separated meant to take time to think if being without your spouse is what you really wanted. i used to tell him that and i would tell him that marriage is not like high school. you do not “brake up” when you are married…..

that was my first problem thou… if you are having to explain basic decent behavior to a grown up man… … … you already lost the fight. looking back i see it is so obvious that he was just coming up with excuses to be a douchebag,,,, and i loved him so much that i forgave him. he KNEW he was hurting me and his boys and STILL did not care. as long as he got what he wanted to hell with everyone else in the family, it did not matter if i loved him, if i treated him well, if i did everything for him, if i gave him a good life.. … … … because there were always 4 or 5 other sewer rats besides this one he ended up with to do the same thing for him that i was doing… …

loyalty means nothing to this cheaters. you can give them everything and it STILL is not enough… dont even try, just let them go and move on. you will be better off alone then to be with someone who does not think of your feelings or care if what they are doing will hurt you…

RockStarWife
RockStarWife
7 years ago
Reply to  MrsVain

Mrs. Vain,

‘Loyalty means nothing to this cheaters. you can give them everything and it STILL is not enough…’ What wisdom. I have been thinking about this bit of truth for months. My ex-boyfriend (who I don’t think cheated on me) told me that (my) loyalty was not enough, that ‘something was missing from our relationship.’ Thus, he had to go out to look for ‘strange’ to find a woman who was worth marrying. (According to him I wasn’t; he told me that he wanted to run away from me–thirty years after meeting me and one year after starting to date me, having voiced neither a complaint nor concern about my attitude/behavior/etc.) From now on, in any type of relationship (romantic, professional, etc.), I will try to steer clear of people who don’t highly appreciate loyalty.

MissMaya
MissMaya
7 years ago
Reply to  Scott

My cheater doesn’t like me using the words affair, girlfriend or cheating. He wants us just to stick to the narrative that we had martial problems, and yes we did have a martial problem it was him being out with his girlfriend while I was at home with a newborn baby and toddler.

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
7 years ago
Reply to  Scott

Yes, that cloth that they were all cut from was and old-school shit stained diaper.

Janet
Janet
7 years ago
Reply to  Scott

So similar here Scott – I tell everyone who asks XH just didn’t want to be married anymore – he just forgot to tell me !

IHaveHate
IHaveHate
7 years ago
Reply to  Janet

Janet……ditto!
I say XPOS brought at least 1 stripper (that I was aware of) for over 2 1/2 years in our relationship, he just forgot to tell me about it!

Marked711
Marked711
7 years ago
Reply to  Janet

Exactly! I’ve always told people that cheating and infidelity are “transfering her attention and emotions to someone else without telling her spouse (me)”. Screwing them is just 5% of the issue. I’m so grateful for CN. Thanks.

PF
PF
7 years ago

Right off the bat this “infidelity person” calls this blog “crap”. She’s not crap and this blog is.

Demands that an “infidelity person” has the right a second chance.

How dare anyone confuse being a greedy infidelity person as being a narcissist.

Followed by….I…I….I want….I want…my husband…my home….my…my…back…blah, blah blah….with all my heart….I want it all back….I want…I want….

Yep….she’s not a cheating narcissist, she’s an infidelity person who is greedy…..yep….that’s a big difference….and she thinks this blog is crap.

Namaste y’all

Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
7 years ago

Nic’s letter is relatively short, yet I count 9 uses of “I” and 4 uses of “my”, which is telling. She is focused on her loss, not her husband’s. That is NARCISSISM, Nic. And you’re not asking for a “second chance”, you greedy infidelity person you. During those four months you had multiple chances to knock it off. So suck it up buttercup.

FinallyAwake
FinallyAwake
7 years ago

Yup. Me me me me me me me. She might as well be married to a park bench.

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
7 years ago

These “infidelity people” really do live in a world of their own. It’s a world with its own rules; apparently only book that they all share and read from every day; and one brain cell to pass among the collective masses. As I read this I was imagining a full grown woman throwing herself on the ground and flailing her arms and legs while screaming and crying. You know, like a toddler might do in a grocery store when they don’t get their way. It’s too bad that this world of their own isn’t an actual place where they could live separately from the rest of us actual people!

Anita
Anita
7 years ago

What does this chick care, anyway? She had her four months of strange dick. There are no do overs in real life. Grow up, Nic. Go find some more dic …

Lothos
Lothos
7 years ago

Some people just want to get pooped on even more. What did she think would happen by writing you that letter. Did she think the sun and the moon would align and that you would become her champion to convince her x-husband to take her back.

She is a moron for think her husband is a chump and she is more moronic for thinking she can convince former chumps to fight her cause (which is crap).

I think Chump lady covered it very nicely, if you are a cheater and want your spouse back then you need to eat shit for a very long time and expect nothing in return. You need to be open about everything and do everything that is asked of you. The cheaters always seem to forget that they caused the damage and the Chump is the one whose entire world and security/trust has been nuked off the planet. Even after eating all that shit their is no guarantee the Chump will take the Cheater back.

That is absolutely the only way that it can be repaired! If the Cheater is not willing to do that then they really never loved the Chump to begin with and are truly not sorry. The Cheater is only after more “CAKE”.

Beth
Beth
7 years ago

Wow this so called “person” Nic really makes me laugh out loud and hard. I almost peed myself with how bat shit crazy Nic is.

They really don’t like being called anything but special and a gift to the world. This note from Nic just proves even more how mentally ill they really are. It’s all about them and everyone else is the problem. Just a typical Narc rage Nic is having or toddler tantrum. Time to change her nappy and give her pacifier so she can be the “special” person she thinks she is. They just cannot handle not being so special.

Truth is Nic you are mentally disordered. You lack so much in your soul that it is so sad. You are proof what many call Narcissist, Sociopath, and even Psychopath aka Cluster B Personality Disorder. You lack of empathy, no morals, no character, no common sense, entailment, lack of full brain development . Nic offers nothing to the world beside spreading STDs and HIV/AIDS to the world.

Damn Nic I am almost to the point of feeling sorry for you……then again nope I don’t I am more laughing at you because I see and understand and fully educated the truth about how you mentally disordered beings (you are not a human being) are.

Also sounds like you need more attention and love to stir up trouble (typical Nar behavior). Geez I am laughing with how mess up Nic and other Nar’s minds work.

Thanks for the laugh Nic! lol, lol, lol, lol, They are bat shit crazy and even worse than I first thought. Thanks for this Chump Lady. I needed a good laugh today. OMG this Nic person is so funny.

Beth
Beth
7 years ago
Reply to  Beth

*Your lack of empathy…. sorry laughing so hard at Nic I cannot spell any longer. omg Nic is bat shit crazy Narc Cheater. Ha!

Carmella1722
Carmella1722
7 years ago

The sad thing is cheaters almost always DO get a second chance. And often a third and a fourth. How many of us tried reconciliation or let the cheater stay out of concern for the kids or a myriad of other reasons? Or bought into their lies during the post DDAy emotional bloodbath when we couldn’t think straight? The cheater always wants to just put it all behind them and treat their affairs like a mistake or just one of those things that happen in life. Well I can’t just hit the reset button like he can. I can’t scour these images and memories from my brain. I can’t turn off the triggers. I don’t get a second chance to return to normal, why should he.

CAGal
CAGal
7 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

You know that’s just it. I tried and tried and tried to communicate to my husband that his relationship with his Ho-Worker was unacceptable. And he would say OK, I understand and I won’t talk to her any more. Then he just went ahead and kept talking to her, hanging around her, probably fucking her anyway. I gave him several years worth of chances and rather than take me and my concerns and my desires seriously, he just lied to my face and then continued doing whatever he wanted to do. How many chances for honestly and respect do I have to grant before I just throw my hands in the air and say “fuck it… I’m out.” It’s apparently a number greater than 157 (which is what it feels like)… if only I had given that 158th chance I could have saved my marriage. At what point does the cheater take ownership and say “Ok – real talk. I’m a cheater and going to keep cheating and I don’t think you should make me face the consequences.” Just be honest… that’s all I want.

KarenE
KarenE
7 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

My cheater ex got a second chance. He appears to have assumed that this meant there would be a 3rd, 4th, etc, despite my being EXTREMELY clear that this would not be the case.

He actually claimed, after Affair #2 began and I kicked him out, that he had ‘totally forgotten’ about the conversation, after Affair #1, in which I said that there was no way this could happen again, that would be the end for me. The conversation in which he promised he would NEVER cheat again. That even if he were terribly unhappy in our relationship, he would leave before ever getting involved with another woman again.

Yup, he forgot. I didn’t.

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
7 years ago
Reply to  KarenE

Giving a cheater a second chance is like giving a shooter another bullet because they missed you the first time!

Kbchump
Kbchump
7 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

God that’s the truth..! Great analogy.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

That is so true Carmella1722, so many cheaters get a second chance that other cheaters feel even more entitled to get theirs!

In an effort to build better boundaries with my cheater and in general, I spent a bit of time researching what true repentance looks like vs. GINR… And Bancroft’s 13 steps, developed through two decades of building and facilitating abuser recovery programs was one of the most helpful ones I could find!

Note that many cheaters can go from 1-4, but most are unlikely to move past that.

1. Admit fully to history of psychological, sexual, and physical abusiveness toward any current or past partners whom the cheater abused. No Denial and minimizing, no discrediting the chump’s memory of what happened. A cheater can’t change if s/he keeps on covering up parts of what s/he has done.

2. Acknowledge that the cheating and other abuse was wrong, unconditionally. The cheater needs to recognize the false justifications s/he has tended to use, including blaming the chump, and to talk in details about the reasons why the cheater’s behaviors are unacceptable without slipping back into defending them.

3. Acknowledge that the cheater’s behavior was a choice (as opposed to a loss of control). Cheaters need to recognize and fully comprehend that, during each incident, there was a moment of giving oneself permission to become abusive and a choice about how far to let him/herself go.

4. Unconditionally recognize the effects of the cheater’s actions and abuse on the chump, on the children, and demonstrate true empathy for those. The cheater needs to talk in detail about her/his cheating’s short-and-long term impact, including loss of trust, anger, fear, and loss of freedom and other rights. This of course, has to come without a poor sausage routine of feeling sorry for her/himself or talking about how hard the experience has been for her/him.

5. Bring to light her/his pattern of controlling behaviors and entitled attitudes. S/he needs to speak about the day-to-day tactics of abuse s/he has used to mislead the chump. Equally important, s/he must be able to articulate the underlying beliefs and values that have driven those behaviors, whether these beliefs include considering her/himself entitled to constant attention, looking down on the chump as inferior, or believing that one isn’t responsible for their actions if “provoked” by a partner.

6. Develop respectful behaviors and attitudes that replace previously abusive (and now stopped) behaviors. Chumps will observe examples of such behaviors as improving how well s/he listens to the chump during conflicts and during more peaceful times, carrying her/his weight of household responsibilities and child care, and supporting the chump’s independent pursuits. The cheater has to show in observable manner that s/he has to come to accept the fact that the chump have rights and that the chump’s rights are at least equal, if not higher than the cheater’s at least right after the cheating is discovered.

7. The cheater shows observable signs that s/he has reevaluated and changed his distorted image of the chump, replacing her/his previous distorted view with a more positive and empathetic view. The cheater starting to show appreciation for the chump and pay attention to the chump’s strengths and abilities are signs that the cheater is starting to recognize her/his previous habits of exaggerating her/his grievances against the chump and her/his distorted view of the chump’s perceived weaknesses. Note that this is extremely hard to assess when dealing with a cluster B with sociopathic tendencies.

8. The cheater has to make amends for the damage s/he has done. The cheater recognizes that s/he has a debt to you and to your children as a result of his/her entitlement and abusiveness. S/he can make amends by becoming consistently supportive and kind, and by putting her/his own needs on the back burner for a few years. S/he can also make amends by talking with people whom s/he has mislead about the cheating and the underlying or blatant abuse, and admit to them that s/he lied. Making amends also includes spontaneously paying for objects that s/he has damaged. Note that, at the same time, the cheater needs to understand and accept that making amends is not equivalent to wiping the slate clean, that all the amends being made still lead the cheater to a place where s/he might never fully compensate the chump and other important persons who have been hurt by her/his behavior.

9. Fully accept the full weight of the consequences of her/his chosen course of actions. No whining about, or blaming the chump for problems that are the result of her/his cheating or other abuse (e.g. the chump’s loss of desire to be sexual with the cheater, the children’s tendency to prefer the chump, or the fact that s/he is on probation).

10. Fully commit to not repeating her/his abusive behaviors and walking the talk. S/he should not have an unconditional and steadfast focus on her/his values change, as well as her/his attitude and behavioral improvement. No name calling, no blameshifting, no impatience with the pace of her/his probation. If s/he does backslide, s/he cannot justify the return of her/his abusive attitude or behaviors by saying, “But I’ve done great for X months; you can’t expect me to be perfect!” No bitch cookies for displaying basic courteous behaviors!

11. Accept the need to give up her/his privileges and do so. No more double standards, no more flirting, no more taking off with for girls/guys week-ends while the chump look after the children, and to being allowed to express anger or disappointment while the chump is not.

12. Accept that overcoming cheating and related abusiveness is likely to be a life long process. S/he at no time can claim that her/his work is done by saying to you, “I’ve changed but you haven’t,” or complain that s/he is sick of hearing about the cheater, or abuse and control and that “it’s time to get past all that.”

13. Be willing to be accountable for her/his actions, both past and future. Her/his attitude that s/he is special and above reproach has to be replaced by an unwavering willingness and ability to accept feedback and criticism, to be honest about any backsliding, and to be answerable for what s/he does and how it affects the chumps, their families, and especially their children.

So you see NIC, it is hard work to earn trust back, and from your missive, you are not even close to #2.

Fellow chumps, I hope this outline will help you realize that you are worthy of respect and that it is your right to break up with your cheater at any point if they do not show contrition or are not willing to take the steps above. It has helped me build better boundaries with my X as I forge on to Meh :)!

Untold
Untold
7 years ago
Reply to  Chumptitude

That is an excellent list! Unfortunately my CW couldn’t get through reading the list much less doing the work.

Chumptacular
Chumptacular
7 years ago
Reply to  Chumptitude

I could never imagine XH going through all of those steps to demonstrate remorse. He verbally denied everything although micro-second facial expressions told a different story. I think when a cheater says they want to come back home, it just means they want to come back home to cake.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  Chumptacular

YES Chumptacular!

“I want to come back home” is indeed more akin to “I want more cake”
Same for “I love you” coming from a cheater’s mouth, that would really more mean something like “you are of use to me.”

Good riddance!

LovedAJackass
LovedAJackass
7 years ago
Reply to  Chumptitude

You’ve just outlined the very best reasons for any chump who wants to “save” the marriage to separate, establish separate residences, and prepare to file for divorce. The Cheater can spend a year living in a separate apartment going through this process of recovering some humanity, if that is possible. And the Chump can heal and get enough perspective to gauge the level of “remorse.” And just as important, the Chump can take a long, measured look at how dysfunctional and disordered the Infidelity Person aka CHEATER is. Most people looking for the easy was to medicate their inadequacy could never do the work of real remorse, as Dr. Simon also describes in his work.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  LovedAJackass

Exactly LAJ, knowledge is power. Learning more about what is considered a healthy path to repentance helped me realize how deep my X’s entitlement ran and made it easier for me to file for divorce despite my heart being pulverized and his masterful mindfuckery.

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  Chumptitude

Thank you so much for taking the time to type all of that here. My cheater (Mr. Trickle Truth) cannot even accomplish #1. There was a time when I might have had the patience to see him through the whole list of steps (if he were honestly interested, which he is not), but now just reading it exhausts me. That is a good thing for me to know.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  Dixie Chump

You’re welcome Dixie Chump, trickle truth is in itself is a deal breaker!

Same as you reading it, writing/typing this really helped me see my X for what he is, a worthless faithless POS and embarrassment for my family with P(change) = 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Carmella1722

Carmella, well said!!! Clap, clap!!

Red
Red
7 years ago

My XH now says that his affair was an “inappropriate relationship.” So much nicer than “I cheated.”

These idiots are all the same…

yo
yo
7 years ago
Reply to  Red

Thats what mine said too…only he didnt finish his sentence. He said he had “an innappropriate…” then changed the subject and wpuld not clarify what he was about to say. That is as close to a confession as he ever made.

Roberta
Roberta
7 years ago
Reply to  Red

Yep Red! They know how to “dress it up”, turn a word or two and basically whitewash the whole shitty experience to make themselves and the whole tawdry episode look like a small hiccup in their otherwise stellar lives! It makes me want to throw up! The whole deceitful affair is just such trashy behavior!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

Roberta, I hear you. Our response, “You banged another skank, PEACE OUT!”

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
7 years ago

I’m having this made into a bumper sticker so when others Chumps see me driving around South Jersey they can knowingly smile 🙂

“I don’t know how infidelity people become greedy. Just one of those messy bed things. We should stop labeling tadpoles.”

Great UBT today!

Signed with admiration,

A NON-Infidelity Person

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

The remorse is deep from this one.

insistonhonesty
insistonhonesty
7 years ago

*** “I believe that the infidelity person should be given a second chance to prove that they can have the life they had before they caused and made a big mess of “you’ve made your bed now lie in it.”

It really doesn’t matter that you believe it SHOULD happen. It’s not up to you anymore. The time to think about consequences is BEFORE you do something; that’s the only time you have the power to avoid bad consequences. Afterward, it’s not up to you anymore. This is like when my children used to complain about doing poorly on a test and then BLAMED the test, the teacher, the teaching, rather than their own failure to study properly. Are you 8 years old, Nic? You failed because you chose to make bad and dishonest decisions… for 4 months straight (let’s be honest here – it was more like 10 months, wasn’t it? – and you’ve just failed in secret for a long time before that, I’m sure.) Only, it didn’t look like failure because no one knew… but that failure still existed/exists, Nic. You chose failure, over and over, and now think that you deserve to pass?

*** “I had a 4-month affair, it was shit and I don’t know what made me keep going back there to this prick of a guy I was cheating on my husband with.”

You are simply the kind of person who chooses bad things instead of good things. Repeatedly. It’s really simple to make good choices, btw. You just tell the truth and refuse to harm other people. You don’t do that, Nic. You lie and hurt people you’ve promised to love and cherish. It doesn’t matter that you don’t understand WHY you do this. Knowing that it’s wrong doesn’t stop you. THAT is the kind of person you are.

*** “My husband is my home and heart I’m just the Asshole that that became greedy not a “narcissist” as you keep labelling people.”

You showed your husband that you don’t think he’s worth being kind, honest, and loving toward… you can SAY he’s your “home and heart” (lol) but you don’t back that up with action.

You didn’t become greedy; you ARE greedy. You are still the same person you were before- and we know this because you admittedly still “don’t know why” you *repeatedly chose* to rip out the heart and soul of a good man by betraying him utterly. We know you are still greedy because you dare to think you “should be given a second chance.” Because you dare to assume that he is capable of loving you at all, after your selfish butchery of him. Because you dare to assume that a selfish, unfaithful, cheating, entitled wife who makes bad decisions, over and over, is even WORTH the trouble, to him.

*** “This is not stupid shit people say.”

I think it is, Nic. It really is. Stupid people make bad choices, over and over, and expect better outcomes. Like you- except that you’re worse to a much higher power, in ALSO thinking that you are somehow ENTITLED to better outcomes.

*** “I want my husband back and I want the life I had with him back.”

That’s too bad. YOU killed your marriage. You broke his heart and now have some expectation that he can love you with a broken heart. YOU destroyed the life you had with bad decisions. Repeatedly. You don’t get to change the past. Claiming that you WANT to is a vain, hollow, action-less attempt at displaying remorse.

It’s self-pity, Nic. It’s you, still being focused on how all of this has affected YOU.

*** “I love him with all my heart!”

No, Nic- you don’t. You don’t know how to love someone else, only how to behave in a way that will get other people to provide you with good feelings about yourself. That is not love and so, putting your heart-muscle into self-serving endeavors is a useless offering to anyone else.

Anne
Anne
7 years ago

This is so perfectly said. I love it when someone says, “If I could go back and change the past I would.” You might as well tell me that instead of moving forward honestly and changing behaviors, you would only do something that is impossible, therefore you don’t have to do anything at all.

I keep a list on my Iphone notes that is titled, “You are mighty.” I add words of wisdom from this site to remind myself of who I am and what I am look for. I’ve added, “It’s really simple to make good choices, btw. You just tell the truth and refuse to harm other people.”

KarenE
KarenE
7 years ago
Reply to  Anne

What a good point, Anne, about those (like my ex) who say “If I could go back and change it, I would”, and think that should somehow make them look good or better or deserving of forgiveness. It basically means “I will do whatever I feel like, without thought of consequences, but if it doesn’t work out, I’ll be regretful.” OK, and where is the taking of responsibility???? At any point in that process???

The Dating Pool Needs Chlorine
The Dating Pool Needs Chlorine
7 years ago

Bitch please.

So you fucked somebody else behind your husbands back, lied to him, broke his trust, and he should take you back because why?

Because you want him to? Because you made a widdle mistakey and you’re so, so, sorry? Because YOU’VE LEARNED YOUR LESSON NOW FORGIVE ME DAMMIT!?

(cue sad dancing clowns and violin music please)

And oh, your fellow “infidelity person” was a prick? What a shame you didn’t manage to find one of those fine, upright, honest, decent “infidelity people”

Because there are just so fucking many of those..

Slither your little tadpole ass back to the messy bed you made and go cry me a river of crocodile tears you skank.

And dear God i hope your husband finds his way here, I’d LOVE to hear his side of the story!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago

Gep, you and I are both psych nurses and many others on here are in the psych community…….we all smell Cluster B and manipulation going on here. Could be fun to watch. Do you like butter with your popcorn??

Tessie
Tessie
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Hi Ladies, add me to the psych nurse list…..12 years worth……I couldn’t agree more….the distinctive odor of borderline with just a smidge of narcissism thrown in for good measure.

The Dating Pool Needs Chlorine
The Dating Pool Needs Chlorine
7 years ago
Reply to  Tessie

All topped off with a sprinkle of Histrionic. Lets butter up he popcorn and watch the show!

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
7 years ago

ah, nice and blunt, just the way it does my heart good to hear it!

gepster
gepster
7 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

That’s me, the Baroness of Blunt.

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  gepster

Ha Gepster! Baroness of blunt!! Love it. I may have to borrow that ?

Cletus
Cletus
7 years ago

I am willing to bet my net worth (which isn’t much thanks to XW) that her husband showed ol Narc, I mean Nic, this page and it wasn’t what she wanted to hear!

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
7 years ago
Reply to  Cletus

Cletus,

You’re right. I hadn’t thought of that. Reading Nic’s letter again, it *does* sound like a teary taco plea to her soon-to-be-ex husband via Chump Lady.

Nic, we know you’re reading. Thoughts?

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

Ha Ian! I love it!!

Portia
Portia
7 years ago
Reply to  Cletus

I bet you are right — why would an entitled infidelity person seek this particular blog and read it, otherwise? Maybe she was confused and was looking for ways to convince her spouse to give her another chance? How to make your spouse a chump, again. Hmm, sounds conveniently like a political slogan!

Seriously though, she certainly told us, didn’t she? Cleared it all up for us, and so convincingly, too. Nothing about her entitled story, with a dose of convenient amnesia (I don’t know why I did it) and no apology for her behavior at all, is convincing. She deserves another chance, by golly. We are just mean people. Her attitude should really convince her spouse that she is contrite, and will never, ever cheat again. SHE wants HER life back. Maybe her spouse wanted a wife that wasn’t a cheater? What about HIS wants, needs, and desires?

insistonhonesty
insistonhonesty
7 years ago
Reply to  Portia

Yes, yessss – WE are mean for judging her by her repeatedly-awful, decisions, for which she is only sorry for because she was caught/it didn’t work out the way she wanted; she’s NOT mean for DOING them.

heh. Kinda like when an abusive parent/spouse beats you and only apologizes when they see the welts and bruises forming. Other people are going to see.that.shit. They’ll think you’re a bad person! So you need to keep it quiet for as long as possible… and when that fails, they admit to things maybe getting a little out of hand…

“BUT I only did it because of [All the Other Things!] And especially because of [the victim!] You have no idea what it’s like, being married to/the parent of him/her! Also, s/he bruises easily anyway. Such.a.victim anyway. I’m ALWAYS wrong. You have no idea what it’s like! But yes, bruises – I am so sorry and will never do it again!”

Beth
Beth
7 years ago

On the first read through when I was trying to parse her really, really awful sentence structure, I thought Nic was referring to CL as the “infidelity person” meaning the expert on the pain of infidelity. 😀 Either way that was a painful read, not because I feel bad for her, but because I feel bad for whoever it was who tried to teach that twit to write a sentence. #epicfail

sam
sam
7 years ago

NEWSFLASH: Once you cheat, er infidelity, for four months (not knowing why you did it HUH?) a second chance isn’t going to allow you to get back to how things were before you cheated.

First, you don’t know why you cheated for four months? Really?

Second, yes you CHEATED, you didn’t ‘infidelity’ LMAO

Your poor SO might take you back, but they will never trust you again. Ever. They might indulge in a bit of denial. They might try to overlook what you did. They might just be a really wonderful person who will give it their best shot to continue in a relationship with you – which begs the question: if they are that wonderful a person Why The FUCK did you cheat on them in the first place.

Oh, never mind…..

I’m always astonished that there are real people who think like this.

lol

insistonhonesty
insistonhonesty
7 years ago
Reply to  sam

haha – just seeing the potential for verb-ing “infidelity.”

Whore: “Infidelitize me, Baby! Harder! AGAIN!”

Like deputizing lesser humans for cheating purposes, with a disease-carrying cock as the rite of Infidelitizing all of these potential Infidelity People.

Beth
Beth
7 years ago

Or “Whoa…I really infidelished it up last night. I don’t know how that happened but it wasn’t my fault.”

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  Beth

Like my dickhead…”It just happened.” For 8 months???? I think he needs to get his IQ tested…..there is no Einstein material going on between his ears! (eye roll)

JannaG
JannaG
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Yeah. “We didn’t plan it. It just happened.” I just happened to put up a dating profile, but then just happened to keep it up after the first dday so I could keep in touch with friends. Then, I just happened to spend a lot of time hanging out inside this female friends house, see. Then, we just happened to kiss. Then, we just happened to take our clothes off. Then, I just happened to fall into her and out of her and back into her and back out of her and back in…for like an hour. Then, I just happened to lie and make excuses repeatedly. Then, I just happened to repeat all of that for like a year and so did she. But, really, it just happened. It’s not like we put any thought or intent into it any point.

chump for 30yrs
chump for 30yrs
7 years ago

“I don’t know what made me keep going back there”. In my experience, the people ( sorry, “infidelity people”) who have the most to cover just lose their memory. I know cheaters who DON’T regret the affair , for various reasons, who remember EVERY DETAIL.( these people frequently left their spouse for the ow or om) Those who want to get back with the chump have amnesia immediately after the affair is over. Instant Amnesia. I’m gonna get me some. I need it every time I go to my Oncological Gynecologist so I can forget about those creeping pre-cancerous cells from HPV.

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
7 years ago

I’ve had normal results for 10 years now, though I had a scare last year. Coincidentally it is the same number of years since Saddam cut me off from sex. Funny in a sad way, he once said to me he was afraid to have sex with me because he thought he was making me worse. Was that perhaps a grain of truth about cheating on me…maybe.

JannaG
JannaG
7 years ago

I’m so sorry! I had pre-cancerous cells from hpv too. In my early 30s, I had two biopsies, a laser ablation surgery and a hysterectomy. It really scared me for awhile, because it looked like nothing was working. I’ve had normal results for four years now. I hope your pre-cancerous cells end up getting back in check soon.

Jackie
Jackie
7 years ago

She had a 4 month affair because she chose to. Period. Every single day of that affair she chose to deceive her husband along with all the seconds and minutes of those days. She wants a chance to prove to him…. she had a the chance. He chose her to share his life with, with the understanding of trust and devotion to one another. He took that leap of faith with her already and she took that and shit all over it. She had second and third chances, too and forth and fifths.. how many days in 4 months? Each day, she had the chance to communicate with her husband what was going on. Each day she had a chance to end it. It ended, now she is ready for that chance. What a load of crap.

When two people commit, they build life – love – trust. That is their bond, that bond is now over. Severed it the worst way possible.

All she can do it apologize and do her husband a favor and not continue to hurt him while they part, to go NC with him and to have a peaceful and fair divorce. To own up to her actions/inactions and let him go. He has a hard road ahead of him and her 4 month affair just crushed his soul, blew up his life and hurt him like nothing could.. She cannot unhappen it, a second chance or any chance at all cannot undo what has been done.

JC
JC
7 years ago

Second chance? I gave it to her. And third. Fourth. Fifth. Sixth…

Chumps, a show of hands: how many of you left your cheater after the first D-Day and never gave a second chance?

…chirp

…chirp

Crickets.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago
Reply to  JC

Hand raised……..Found out he was cheating, confronted him. Same day took his shit, tossed it in Hefty bags and told him to “Get the fuck out!”

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

36 hours after I confronted her on D-day (destruction-day because Match Girl maliciously girls’-night-out-ed me), I was on a plane to Texas. Haven’t seen her since. Deal-breakers wreckoncilers – getcha’ some.

SnakebitNoMore
SnakebitNoMore
7 years ago
Reply to  JC

I did leave when I had evidence of an EA. I’d previously questioned his relationships with some other women, but I never had any definitive proof. Once I had evidence that confirmed my gut instincts about one particular woman, it made me realize my gut was probably right in the past as well. So I left before he could give me another dose of abusive, gaslighting, blameshifting denial.

CakelessinKalamazoo
CakelessinKalamazoo
7 years ago
Reply to  SnakebitNoMore

He stayed for about another week and a half or so. Went out to the bar where the ow just happened to be to “console” him and then to a former mutual friend’s house where she just happened to show up for more “reassurance and consolation that it’d be okay” not caring that I was home getting drunk and crying my heart out, and then when his parents came up to talk some sense into him (he was ready to dump the kids and I the day after he told me) he lost it and started screaming at them. His mom threatened to cut him out of her will if he went through with it and he said he didn’t care. He didn’t “want your damn money. I love her and this marriage is over.” He treated me like shit. He treated his kids like shit. And then when he treated his parents like that, I told him to pack his shit and get the fuck out right after his parents left. Only hesitation on his part? “Can I at least say goodbye to the kids first or even the baby?” Yeah, let’s twist the knife in their hearts a few more times. I said no. He asked if it had to be this way. I asked if he’d stop seeing the whore and go into marriage counseling. He said no. I said get your shit and get out of my house.

gepster
gepster
7 years ago
Reply to  JC

Gave him 2, plus all the red flags he farsighted and nearly plausibly explained away.

3rd strike and his ass got kicked to the curb.

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  JC

I moved into the guest bedroom after D-day, gave him a few weeks to see if he would make proper amends (knew he couldn’t) and then threw him out of the house. #dealbreaker

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  JC

JC – Raising my hand for no second chance post D-Day #1!

I had been clear before marrying him that infidelity was a deal breaker… The moment I found out about his affair, he tried all the cheater’s arsenal with an Oscar-worthy poor sausage routine. But nope, I duct-tapped my spilled-out guts, secured a lawyer and was moved out with copies of all financials, tax returns etc in 3 weeks.

Cue to a hellish divorce… Thankfully I found CL and CN, and incredibly generous advice and support as I tried to negotiate “fair” divorce terms with my X. I kept NC, and divorced my cheater with dignity.

I’m a few months post-divorce and less than two years post D-Day, picking up the pieces of my life, trying to not wait for the karma bus to do its job…

Thanks to CN and CL, I feel validated and proud for having left my X after DDay#1.

Kay
Kay
7 years ago
Reply to  JC

It’s too bad second chances don’t make people less crappy. Like fairy dust that’s magical. Look! I gave you a second chance, waved my wand and sprinkled magic dust. Now that will change you!! I wish it did work. But it does not. How do I know? Yep. So many chances. And when he fails whose fault is it? Mine of course. I need off this crazy ride.

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  Kay

Oops … must have used the wrong dust … reached for fairy dust but accidently grabbed the Entitled Asshole dust. Too bad I dumped the whole darn batch on him …

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
7 years ago
Reply to  JC

I actually did leave my cheater after the first D-day, but I found Chumplady the night of my D-day so I got a good healthy smack in the head with a 2×4. I know I was lucky! Not everyone is that fortunate. It’s a difficult road to travel and I understand how chumps can give second chances. Unfortunately my D-day came after years of gas lighting, emotional neglect and abuse. After reading here I was able to see that and I knew I’d rather die fighting to get out than stay in.

Jackie
Jackie
7 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

AllOutofKibble, you are lucky to have found CL at the time you did. You know what I found? How to forgive your spouse, how to heal and reconcile, how an affair can make a marriage better than ever, how to allow him/her to mourn their AP, how it was my fault too that the relationship failed and caused the affair. I was insane. That is what I found and while in shock and in self blame mode finding all that crap was more damaging than anything.

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
7 years ago
Reply to  Jackie

I found the same crap Jackie, I did give Saddam a second chance, lasted 10 years. Caught him again, gave him another chance, though that only lasted a month. I hate the RIC with all my heart

Dixie Chump
Dixie Chump
7 years ago
Reply to  JC

20 years of second chances. Because surely he loved me and didn’t intentionally hurt me. Surely. Except he did … over and over. Now he wants forgiveness once again so that HE can sleep more comfortably at night, peaceful in the thought that if he is forgiven then it is all okay. Forgiveness denied.

Jackie
Jackie
7 years ago
Reply to  JC

I stayed in my own apt. but continued for 10 more months to find out there were more APs, that it was likely the entire 23 years and during this time he met someone else and thought he was going to do a new pick me dance. NC since. Been here since.

Fireball
Fireball
7 years ago

Wonders never cease!! My SAxh told me and the extended family/friends he was sorry for “Misrepresenting Himself”. ROFLMBO —- 31 years of serial mis-representing sounds better than he was a POS lying, cheater that blew up a beautiful family.

UGH, if he were a dog, I’d have to put him down. 🙂 Instead I sent him packing finally. Reminds me I need to order my MEH cup! Thanks CL for your blog <3

Carmella1722
Carmella1722
7 years ago

Another thing about this idiot–because she reads this blog, she should have a better understanding of the real consequences of infidelity as told by the ‘other side’ so to speak. She should know the pain it causes, the trauma, the PTSD. She has read accounts of the devastation. The popular myths and misconceptions i.e. “I cheated because…” should be shattered and replaced by a desire to help her husband heal. And she’s been given a road map back–transparency, counseling, etc. She knows how to become a unicorn if she truly loves her husband and wants him and her life back. But she wants the easy way back without the hard work and chooses to tell us we’re wrong, not her. Nic, take a good long look in the mirror and then spend some time in unicorn school.

This2ShallPass
This2ShallPass
7 years ago

You nailed it CL. Poor sad sausage!!!!

FinallyAwake
FinallyAwake
7 years ago

Ian – did you show your ex this blog????

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
7 years ago
Reply to  FinallyAwake

FinallyAwake, you are a gem. I hope your heart is healing well today. I am astounded by your comment. Your memory, humor, and your ability to show compassion for a random person on the Internet is heartwarming. Same for all the kind comments in the last few days, I really take them to heart too. Thank you Chump Lady for creating Chump Nation.

And, no. The four-month timeline “Match-es” mine, but I’m in an “Infidelity People-” imposed silent-treatment time-out versus no-contact battle-to-the-death. Not a peep from my STBXW. Nor do I expect to hear from her. She’s (of course) dragging out the legal proceedings as much as humanly possible. It’s more likely that Nic would look-up the word “Narcissist” in a dictionary than Match Girl would Google “infidelity.”

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

Ian – Hang in there with the divorce proceedings! Did you decide to go with a fault divorce?

I am glad you keep posting Ian, I laugh so hard at your and CN comments most days, truly incredible community, although I wish none of us had to find each other because of going through such horrendous pain dealt by cheaters such as MatchGirl and her MatchStick POS AP…

May they both and all cheaters self-combust! OK, far from Meh, but forging on!

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
7 years ago
Reply to  Chumptitude

Chumptitude,

It was your story of deal-breakers that convinced me to pursue a fault divorce. Yeah, Match Stick is going to be deposed. They’re probably upset. Awww.

His relative wealth and the unwanted co-mingling of *my* finances factors into the unconscionably disparate standard-of-living test. I hope her vagina was worth it to him.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

You go Ian, I’m so glad you went for the fault divorce!

Sweet karma for MatchGirl and her MatchStick AP to get their unforgivable actions on public records!

Hopefully that will give you a great settlement and give them a good taste of justice… Although I have come to realize that “Justice” in Family Court might be more akin to “harm reduction” than anything else…

Forge on Ian, you ROCK!

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
7 years ago
Reply to  Chumptitude

Chumptitude,

You’re right again. Courts and judges being what they are, I hold no illusions about any just outcome. I’m more interested in making them suffer.

Oops. Did I say that out loud?

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
7 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

Ian – I hear you. Let’s just say that DDay has had a transformational effect on how I perceive and experience schadenfreude…

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

We prefer the term “accountability.”

creativerational
creativerational
7 years ago

They deserve a second chance…. Because the first four months were all just ONE mistake?

Fuck. That. Noise.

You made decision after decision. Error after error.

You know what that means? Realistically, all the time you weren’t getting caught were your second chances. You didn’t take them.

I believe there might be a person or two who slip and fix it. I don’t know any, but in the universes, it may exist. But this nic is not one of them.

Got 99 Problems But Cheater Ain't 1
Got 99 Problems But Cheater Ain't 1
7 years ago

Let’s test Nic’s logical reasoning IQ with the following question:

*Some cheaters are narcissists. Some narcissists are infidelity people. All infidelity people are cheaters. Therefore, does it stand to reason that most infidelity people are narcissists?

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago

I love Venn diagrams……the Fucking, cheating whore=infidelity whatever doesn’t get it!

Survivor
Survivor
7 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Truth trees work too. And the old standbys. Joe is an old fucker. Fuckers suck shit. Joe sucks shit. [Joe is an old salt. Salt dissolves in water. Joe dissolves in water.]

Tempest
Tempest
7 years ago

If Nic has trouble diagramming sentences, I doubt she can handle Venn diagrams.

cLifeupsidedown
cLifeupsidedown
7 years ago

Infidelity People? As in the Infidelity People from Planet Infidel? Ironically, she’s the one who was being probed without her knowing.

moving forward
moving forward
7 years ago

OMG hahahahahaha

Fifi
Fifi
7 years ago

Ha ha ha ha haaaaaa!

ChumpedToTheMax
ChumpedToTheMax
7 years ago

My X told me the same thing over and over, “I love you with all my heart” but it wasn’t true. That is not love at all. When you love someone you don’t do things to hurt or lose them. Stupid. If anyone ever tells me they love me with all their heart again I will run!

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
7 years ago

The day before dday, “you know I love you, Baby.” If this is love, may I live to be 100 and alone!

Lulu
Lulu
7 years ago

This can be summarized in one line: “I’m entitled to my husband’s forgiveness, regardless of what he wants or what I deserve.”

Nic, I’m sure it’s SO comforting to your husband to know that he is your “home and heart”, while another guy was your fun and your vagina.

My sincerest hope is that you wrote to Chump Lady because your husband found her blog and it infuriates you that he’s following her advice.

TunnelLight
TunnelLight
7 years ago

If only “The Prick” had agreed to stay with her. I sense a rejected sausage.

Lulu
Lulu
7 years ago
Reply to  TunnelLight

“It was so awful that I kept going back for more!”

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
7 years ago

Nic,

Please send your soon-to-be-ex husband a link to today’s UBT post.

Right Brained
Right Brained
7 years ago

Infidelity People. I can’t say that in my head without singing Sly and the Family Stone.

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
7 years ago
Reply to  Right Brained

Perhaps you need to work out all the words for the parody!