Anthony Weiner is in the news again. This may not come as a surprise to those of you skeptical of cheater redemption, but lo and behold (explicitly behold over at TheDirty.com) he’s been caught again sending pictures of his junk to a young woman. Apparently, what’s emerged so far is that he had a 6-month internet romance with a 22-year old woman, complete with sexting and promises to buy her real estate.
Anything I want to say about Anthony Weiner I’ve said about his ilk already. He’s genuine imitation Naugahyde remorse. A flaming personality disorder. One of those wing nuts who cannot connect actions to tabloid consequences.
So I’m going to avoid the obvious dick jokes and address this post to Huma, his wife.
You’re a chump. It’s time to own it.
I know you’ve spent a lot of months chasing the elusive unicorn of reconciliation, and let me say, you did it with dignity. In that New York Times profile piece of you two last April, my heart kinda broke for you. I don’t want to say I told you so, but… dammit girl… I told you so. His faux remorse was all over that story. You know what the dead giveaway for me was? When you said ‘‘I have now gotten used to people asking, over and over again, ‘How is Anthony?’ ’’
How’s Anthony? Really? How’s HUMA? How it is to be newly married, pregnant with your first child, and humiliated by a public, infidelity scandal? Fuck Anthony, Huma. Why should you eat the shit sandwich of people’s concern for this idiot? Because he’s broken? Because he did something so flamboyantly self destructive? What about YOU? The person he broke.
You played the reconciled spouse well. You looked fierce and determined on the cover of the Sunday magazine. Was that a leather jacket? You appeared elegant and accomplished, soldiering forward, and you let Anthony do most of the speaking. All his fake remorse on display, blaming a fateful tweet (singular), subtly playing the self pity card about being a stay at home dad post-scandal, reduced to picking up your dry cleaning.
Here was your first clue he wasn’t changed, Huma — he ran again for fucking New York city mayor! Here’s a guy whose own brother describes him as an asshole and whose cure for his narcissism and entitlement is to RUN FOR PUBLIC OFFICE. Bad enough you had to weather his underwear boner scandal, now he wants you support his campaign? What, he can’t pick up your dry cleaning for 6 whole months before he has to have the world’s attention again?
Couldn’t he buck the trend of narcissist, cheater politicians seeking re-election? (Mark Sanford, I’m talking to you.) Couldn’t he take a page from the Profumo scandal and spend his middle age tending to AIDs orphans or something similarly improving?
I don’t think you’re getting the best advice, Huma. You work for Hillary Clinton. She stood by her man, yes. But the price of admission there, Huma, is that her husband was the president of the United States. I still think she should’ve dumped him, but there are some serious perks being First Lady, like being secretary of state eventually. I don’t pretend to understand the Clintons, but I think you can do better than that schmuck from Queens. Anthony Weiner is no Bill Clinton. Weiner’s not fit to run your errands. Hell, he’s not fit to even conduct a fucking affair. Clinton at least had the good taste to buy a copy of Leaves of Grass and get his blow jobs in the Oval Office. Weiner sexts throbbing penis pictures under the pseudonym “Carlos Danger.”
Who does he think he is? Napoleon Dynamite?
It’s beyond embarrassing.
You must stop spackling and see this loser for who he truly is. I’m sorry he’s your child’s father, but you’re in very good company here among chumps. Many of us can relate to mating with an idiot. But it’s not a life sentence, Huma. You can get out, and there’s no shame in divorcing him. Admit that you misplaced your trust. It’s not nearly as humiliating as having to admit you misplaced your penis pictures.
Except here’s the thing — he’s NOT going to feel humiliated. YOU are. If you stay with him now, after knowing who he really is and how he shat upon that gift of reconciliation you gave him — you’re complicit in your own abuse. You will suffer every “inappropriate” encounter. You will answer a hundred “How’s Anthony” queries each day. You will succeed and achieve and you will never outshine his narcissism. He won’t allow it. And he won’t learn.
You are not enough for him, Huma. No one is enough. You will mourn his lost potential. You will miss the hologram he projected of confidence, and brilliance, and the beautiful future you imagined for yourselves. It will be painful admitting you fronted for him. Very painful. But do it, Huma. Please, do it.