In case you missed it, Mark Sanford announced that he’s broken up with his soul mate schmoopie.
How could such star-fated love ever end? I mean, this was a love bigger than them both! Bigger than his inflated ego! Bigger than the insanity of the South Carolinan voters that re-elected him! He was supposed to go the distance! This is who he “hiked the Appalachian trail” for!
And it ends with a 2,346-word Facebook post of emotional vomit?
Who killed the dream?
His evil ex-wife, of course. Jenny Sanford.
Apparently the custody trials are taking a toll and now she’s requesting a psych evaluation of him. He disses her in his Facebook message and has asked the court for a gag order.
You see, he’s just a sad guy who would like to avoid conflict, he quotes scripture about turning the other cheek, and he models himself after the “humility” of Jesus. (Poor Jesus, he always get this crap. Find me a politician Jesus cheater who doesn’t love the Jesus spackle.)
He writes of his Argentinian OW/girlfriend:
“Belén is a remarkably wonderful woman who I have always loved and I will be forever grateful for not only the many years we have known and loved each other, but the last six very tough ones wherein she has encouraged me and silently borne its tribulations with her ever warm and kind spirit.”
She understands! She encourages!
Just not enough to stay with him.
Some soul mates are funny that way.
South Carolina, wouldn’t you like to do the pick me dance with Mark Sanford? He’s got a mean, mean ex-wife who doesn’t understand him. He’s suffering and he needs a special someone to triangulate with. Won’t you answer the call? Can someone please find this guy a hypotenuse?