I know, I know… you might be four weeks since D-Day and can’t imagine anything as rousing as “perhaps I will drink that entire can of Ensure.” But trust me, however wobbly you feel, you’re far mightier than you know. And everyone who is reading this is ahead of some other chump somewhere, just by virtue of the fact that you KNOW.
My husband told me I should do this for myself. I replied that would just be too incredibly weird. I mean, talk about a trajectory. But okay, if I’m asking you to do it, I’ll do it.
Stop vomiting for a moment and listen to the Ghost of Your Future Self here. Hey, it’s 10 years later. That sociopathic bozo you’re married to? You feel absolutely nothing for, except a general sense of regretful WTFishness. No pain. No heaving sobs. No murderous revenge fantasies. In fact the only time you’ll be reminded of the bozo is during that idiotic reality TV series Storage Wars (sorry, reality TV is a Thing). That redneck Darrell with the hairy shoulders? You’ll shudder. That’s it.
But here’s the CRAZY thing — your resilience living through this shit? You won’t ever forget that. Because even though you’re stranded right now, jobless, worried sick about your child, and months from a second divorce? You were triumphant. You rose above it all. You were a bad ass. You escaped. Okay, you fucked up a few times. There were some failed reconciliation attempts, but you learned from it. You made a new home. Got a new job. Found a passion for writing full-time. Your son turns out GREAT (except he’s a business major… I’m sorry, all those violin lessons never convert him to liberal arts) — and that second divorce? Middle-aged loser fear? You remarry.
No REALLY. You meet this wonderful man and he’s a fellow chump, and you’re HAPPY. But you were happy before too! This whole chump thing gives you a clarity you never had before on who’s a waste of space and who’s worth investing in. You discover reciprocity! It’s life changing!
Okay, it gets crazier! You write about the chump experience, and draw cartoons about it, and start a blog and millions of people read it and you get a literary agent and a book, and then a Hollywood agent…(I don’t know what’s going to happen there — talk the ghost of 20 Years in the Future). Anyway, you’ll find that you’re not alone. That millions of people have been mindfucked and fucked fucked in identical ways — and rose above it. You just take the time to write about it and foment a bit of chump revolution.
The pain is finite, Tracy. But your potential is infinite. Invest there.
— Future Tracy