By popular demand, inspired by yesterday’s column, your fun Friday challenge is to create a wedding gift registry for your cheating ex and their Schmoopie — not the Eucalyptus Leave Napkin Rings they really want — but what they deserve. Or may actually need.
For example, Schmoopie marries guy who is 23 years older? A box of Depends. High blood pressure cuff? A pre-paid subscription to AARP?
Or you can riff on Nomar’s suggestions from yesterday — cheap mall lingerie, burner cell phones, and box wine. For that continuing double life.
Not a terrible meh contest, but hey, if you’re living this nightmare in real time you deserve your gallows humor. And just remember, people who marry their affair partners deserve what they get — themselves. It really is the worst punishment. You chumps just rock on.