Dear Chump Lady,
What about a Friday Challenge where you give a couple examples of songs in which the lyrics are perfect summations of either
A) the feelings of the Chump
B) the mentality of the Cheater
So my example for B) would be the song “Sober” by TOOL
I am just a worthless liar
I am just an imbecile
I will only complicate you
Trust in me and fall as well
I will find a center in you
I will chew it up and leave
I will work to elevate you
Just enough to bring you down
FSW Mid Atlantic
Dear FSW,
Your wish is my command! The Friday Challenge is yours! My submissions are A) Dayna Kurtz “Not the Only Fool in Town”
Says he’s working late, but he smells like Royal Crown
(Really, CN, check out this song. It’s my whole blog in one ballad.)
And B) rancid oatmeal. (Doesn’t make much of a sound.)
TGIF!
Martin Briley’s Salt in My Tears:
I never did it
No I won’t admit it
Why should I lie for you anymore?
You never loved me
You pushed and you shoved me
I seen a woman I never saw
I saw you laugh when the knife was twisted
It still hurts but the pain has shifted
I’m looking back at the time that drifted by
But I won’t cry for the wasted years
I forgot the last line:
“You ain’t worth the salt in my tears.”
This is great! I never knew this existed ‘till now. Thanks!
I am an 80’s kid who had the mullet. Dedicated to my ex-wife and my ex-minister who was banging her during my marriage:
AC/DC~~”Hell’s Bells”
Hell’s Bells,
Satan’s calling to you.
Hell’s Bells,
There’s nothing you can do.
Hell’s Bells,
He’s ringing the bells.
Hell’s Bells,
He’s going to take you to Hell.
I’m not an AC/DC fan, but that’s a great song for these fuckwits.
Walker Hayes- You Broke Up with Me
A
(Original lyrics except for BOY and f*cked)
Darlin’ you can’t crash my party with your ‘Sorry’s and ‘What Are We’s
Don’t start rainin’ on my Mardi Gras parade for a minute
I ain’t even fixin’ to listen to your guilt trippin’
You’re forgettin’ BOY you made your bed and didn’t want me in it (Hey!)
Woah BOY,simmer on down a notch
Ain’t nobody making you watch me get my forget you on
No BOY can’t touch my good as gold
I know it’s difficult to see me on a roll
But hey, you f*cked up with me
Yeah, what can I say babe, you f*cked up with me
These lyrics:
I changed the lock on my front door so you can’t see me anymore
And you can’t come inside my house, and you can’t lie down on my couch
I changed the lock on my front door
I changed the number on my phone so you can’t call me up at home
And you can’t say those things to me that make me fall down on my knees
I changed the number on my phone
I changed the kind of car I drive so you can’t see me when I go by
And you can’t chase me up the street, and you can’t knock me off of my feet
I changed the kind of car I drive
I changed the kind of clothes I wear so you can’t find me anywhere
And you can’t spot me in a crowd, and you can’t call my name out loud
I changed the kind of clothes I wear
I changed the tracks underneath the train so you can’t find me again…
Now, this is a MiGHTY Song!
????????????
That’s some great lyrics right there…
Damn dude! Me too
Submission under B)
Pretty piece of flesh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2x0441nfzxo
Fuck Me Ki**en: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uURUPr0bGbM
and
Liar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaysTVcounI
Submission under A)
Life before insanity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKRYUs0MM-E
Just a note that more than 3 links, comments wind up in moderation. Sorry CN it’s the spam filter and not personal. If there’s a delay with your comment, it’s me getting to it.
+1 to Liar by Henry Rollins
Let’s see, for option A, I would go with K.Flay, Run for your life : “They tried to tell me I was lost in the forest like a cub with no mother when I actually was where I wanted. Bite off the venomous head, follow the chemical scent, look for the hole in the fence, take everything you demand, fast as you can and run for your life.”
And Option B would be Mindless Self Indulgence, 3AM “It’s 3AM, she wont put out let’s go make out with her friends, make out with her friend’s friends. Excuse me do you want to screw?”
How about ‘A LittleTime’ By The Beautiful South?
Male/female cheater/chump interplay.
Killer video and she even walks away ‘Mighty’ at the end
https://youtu.be/i_-xYEilLg8
I need a little time to think it over
I need a little space just on my own
I need a little time to find my freedom
I need a little…
Funny how quick the milk turns sour, isn’t it, isn’t it?
Your face has been looking like that for hours, hasn’t it, hasn’t it?
Promises, promises turn to dust
Wedding bells just turn to rust
Trust into mistrust
I need a little room to find myself
I need a little space to work it out
I need a little room all alone
I need a little…
You need a little room for your big head, don’t you, don’t you?
You need a little space for a thousand beds, won’t you, won’t you?
Lips that promise, fear the worst
Tongue so sharp, the bubble burst
Just into unjust
I’ve had a little time to find the truth
Now I’ve had a little room to check what’s wrong
I’ve had a little time, and I still love you
I’ve had a little…
You had a little time and you had a little fun, didn’t ya, didn’t you?
While you had yours, do you think I had none, do you, do ya?
The freedom that you wanted bad
Is yours for good, I hope you’re glad
Sad into un-sad…
I had a little time to think it over
Had a little room to work it out
I found a little courage to call it off
I’ve had a little time
I’ve had a little time
I’ve had a little time
I’ve had a little time
Or the classic.
‘God May Forgive You (But I Won’t)’ – Iris DeMent
https://youtu.be/gc7RcVqJ6Gk
Spinozapixel, so curious about your username! Why Spinoza?
“Spinozapixel, so curious about your username! Why Spinoza?”
Philosophical hero of mine. Spinoza held good and evil to be relative concepts; nothing is intrinsically ‘good’ or ‘bad’ except relative to a particularity. Argue ‘that things’ traditionally branded good or evil were simply good or bad for HUMANS. Posited a deterministic universe in which “All things in nature proceed from certain [definite] necessity and with the utmost perfection.” where nothing happens by chance.
That’s for the cheaters who say “It just happened.”
Pixel is named for Robert A. Heinlein’s “The Cat Who Walks Through Walls”.
🙂
At the risk of revealing too much about myself, I wrote my dissertation on Spinoza ????
Love the Spinozist response to “it just happened.”
Any song about cheating annoys me. I heard the song Your Love on the radio yesterday when I was cleaning the stalls. The song is very disturbing to me.
Josie’s on vacation far away
Come around and talk it over
So many things that I want to say
You know I like my girls a little bit older
I just want to use your love tonight
I don’t want to lose your love tonight
Yes. I heard this one the other day and was revolted by it once I actually paid attention to the lyrics. Ew.
Damn I had liked this song because it’s Rockies player Charlie Blackmon’s walk up music! I’ll just channel Charlie when I hear it and not the wasband!
Liar Liar
A nice upbeat 60s pop tune…!
https://youtu.be/S8rCy173y7Y
Lyrics listed on youtube
Nothing like cleaning the stalls to get clarity.
Shit in.
Shit OUT.
Cathartic.
CuzChump-I’m exactly the same way-and I’ll even add “romance” novels and movies that glamorize cheating.
Before I was cheated on-Those things didn’t rub me the wrong way. Now-they irritate the shit out of me.
StrongerNow #metoo.
I hear THAT!
Bryan Adams “Run to You”
Had no idea how an awesome song could be so pathetic 30 years later.
My ex got me to teach him how to play the riffs on guitar of “run to you” ….while he was cheating on me …his big fuck you to me….he s now bald… alone and looks 10 years older than he is ….asshat
Haha
I cannot stand that song. It was my exs workout song when he was “working on his fitness” phase. (Better known as his my girlfriend doesn’t like my gut phase.) That DVD went into my freedom bonfire along with the rest of the things he contaminated the day my divorce was final.
Bryan Adams and Run to You – OMG! Never listened to the words that closely until after D-day. Driving down a country road, singing along with it – realized what I was singing, nearly wound up in a ditch.
Thanks. Hate that song now.
Hate Bryan Adams. Hated him in the 80’s, still hate him now. Hack.
Sad, “Your Love” is a classic I liked, my teenagers too…they tell me they can’t stomach hearing it after their father did what he did. When I was a teenager when it came out, I didn’t think twice about the lyrics because my Dad (and/or mom) weren’t cheating assholes.
Let’s take a trip in the pop wayback machine to the summer of 1973. I dare anyone to find a more pathetic display of wretched, pathetic cheater self-centeredness as is found in “How Can I Tell Her” by Lobo (he of the immortal “Me and You and A Dog Named Boo”).
Listen as a cheater extols the virtues of his chump, then begs his OW to take the bullet and do the dirty work for him.
“How can I tell her I don’t miss her
Whenever I am away
How can I say it’s you I think of
Every single night and day
But when is it easy telling someone the truth
Oh girl, help me tell her about you”
https://youtu.be/9dEWOkGf3f0
Close second: “Torn Between Two Lovers” by Mary MacGregor
“There’s been another man that I’ve needed and I’ve loved
But that doesn’t mean I love you less
And he knows he can’t possess me and he knows he never will
There’s just this empty place inside of me that only he can fill”
I remember hearing that in the car with my Dad when I was a little girl. He would get irritated with it and say it was a bad song. I remember wondering why? I just thought it was pretty. I think he explained it but I don’t remember quite getting it—- My parents are celebrating their 75th Anniversary in a couple of months 🙂
He obviously is a man of good character.
God bless them!
These plus 1984’s “Run To You “ by Bryan Adams. Blech.
I hate that one too, glamorises cheating as having a steady but unexciting chump unknowingly pitted against ‘excitement’ of forbidden sex.
I never liked it. Then discovered (now) ex had included a YouTube link to the song in a text to the OW. Who was his (former) bestie’s wife. And she loved it. PS- she stuck with him right up until our divorce was done. I guess it’s not fun if it ain’t dirty.
*shrug*
Before I became a chump, I listened to songs like these as an outsider and found them mildly irritating, as cheating or being cheated on wasn’t really on my radar and it seemed silly that someone would brag about being unfaithful. Now I find them completely nauseating and disgusting. The songwriters are grandstanding about having affairs and proudly exposing themselves as narcissists without a conscience. It seems that these songs are specifically written for cheaters and I am sure my ex wife loves them.
Offspring- spare me the details
My girlfriend, my dumb donut
Went out to a party just the other night
But three hours later, and seven shots of Jager
She was in the bedroom with another guy
And I don’t really want to know
So don’t tell me anymore
And I really don’t want to hear
About her feet all up in the air
I’m not the one who acted like a ho
Why must I be the one who has to know
I’m not the one who messed up big time
So spare me the details if you don’t mind
Now I can understand
Friends who want to tell me
Think they’re gonna help me open up my eyes
But the play-by-play
Makes me want to lose it
Every time you do it man it turns the knife
Now I don’t need to hear
About the sounds they were making
And I don’t need to hear
About how long it was taking
Or how the walls they were shaking …
Don’t forget about Self Esteem, also by Offspring, for the chump side:
I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
But she came over
I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert
Now I know I’m being used
That’s okay because I like the abuse
I know she’s playing with me
That’s okay ’cause I’ve got no self-esteem
We make plans to go out at night
I wait till two then I turn out the light
This rejection’s got me so low
If she keeps it up I just might tell her so
When she’s saying that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she’s saying that I’m like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it’s better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care, right?
Now I’ll relate this a little bit
That happens more than I’d like to admit
Late at night she knocks on my door
She’s drunk again and looking to score
Now I know I should say no
But that’s kind of hard when she’s ready to go
I may be dumb
But I’m not a dweeb
I’m just a sucker with no self-esteem
Apologies! I thought I was posting at the end. I didn’t mean to cut in as a reply.
The songs, movies, & books that glorify cheating have ALWAYS bothered me. Even as a kid I found them disdainful.
I never knew why exactly as, I didn’t know anyone who had ever cheated until my brother’s wife did when I was 15. After that, they totally disgusted me & a sour taste would form in my mouth when exposed to them.
Interesting to realise the idea of cheating bothered me so much even when I was a child. By the time I was 16, I knew that if a guy ever physically hurt me or cheated on me, I would be out of there in an instant. I held firm to that belief & even told my xh that numerous times before marriage. How & why I ended up staying for 12 years after Dday, until Dday2, I’m still struggling to figure out. All I know is that I can’t forgive myself for not sticking my my deep rooted beliefs I swore to myself that I always would. Probably would make a good song. Woe is me.
I struggle with this as well. We are the frogs in a pot of water turned up to boil at our cheater’s pleasure. We’ve clawed are way out and our tending to our wounds. We have survived and now want to thrive. This shit it hard and takes time.
I now realize that strength isn’t related to the pain inflicted on someone’s soul. My Ex & his Howorker were so abusive during the divorce because I could take it. And the stronger I was, the stronger the punches. My journey now is to help others during their divorce journey, understanding that a “strong” woman is just as vulnerable. Forgiving myself will help.
Not a very nice song, especially for the morning——
https://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI
I don’t know why I feel the need to lie
and cause you so much pain
maybe it’s something inside
maybe it’s something I can’t explain
cause all I do
is mess you up and lie to you
I’m a liar
if you’ll give me one more chance
I swear that I will never lie to you again
because now I see the destructive power of a lie
they’re stronger than truth
I can’t believe I ever hurt you
I swear
I will never to you lie again, please
just give me one more chance
I will never lie to you again
I swear
that I will never tell a lie
no, no
ha ha ha ha ha hah haa haa haa haaa
sucker!
I am a liar
yeah, I am a liar
yeah I like it
I feel good
ohh I am a liar
Oh Sweet Baby Jesus- WonderNo More-
This video was so creepy and Real.
That was MY life.
That video was my life.
For Chump feelings, I recommend:
Sleep to Dream by Fiona Apple: “I tell you how I feel but you don’t care. I say tell me the truth but you don’t dare. You say love is a hell you cannot bear, so give me mine back and then go there for all I care.”
And The Giving Tree by Plain White T’s:
All the leaves on the giving tree have fallen
No shade to crawl in underneath
I got scars from a pocket knife
Where you carved your heart into me
If all you wanted was love
Why would you use me up
Cut me down, build a boat, and sail away
When all I wanted to be was your giving tree
Settle down, build a home, and make you happy?
I lie in the dead of night and I wonder
Whose covers you’re between
And it’s sad laying in his bed
You feel hollow, so you crawl home back to me
If all you wanted was love
Why would you use me up
Cut me down, build a boat, and sail away
When all I wanted to be was your giving tree
Settle down, build a home, and make you happy?
Good ones! I hadn’t heard Giving Tree— but love that Fionna CD. Both really good poetically.
‘The Giving Tree’…..yes! It’s a definite go to for me at certain times. That damn Adele…’When We Were Young.’ Uuuuughhhh! Then her song…’Send My Love to Your New Lover’ makes me sick.
The dick and the Admiral’s Wife were huge Adele fans…????????
The Indy station where I love plays this song that makes me see the with disgust:
https://youtu.be/MWEU5qlW_7A
Live*
And seethe*
Good grief, my autocorrect is failing me today..
“The cuts that bleed from my mistakes
Couldn’t keep my heart from giving way.”
????????????????????
I hope She Cheats- Gabby Barrett
This goes out to my POS X
I hope you both feel the sparks by the end of the drive
I hope you know she’s the one by the end of the night
I hope you never ever felt more free
Tell your friends that you’re so happy
I hope she comes along and wrecks every one of your plans
I hope you spend your last dime to put a rock on her hand
I hope she’s wilder than your wildest dreams
She’s everything you’re ever gonna need
And then I hope she cheats
Like you did on me
And then I hope she cheats
Like you did on me
Yeah babe, I hope she
Shows up in a 2 AM pic from her friend
Hanging on to a guy, and you just ain’t him
I hope you stay up all night all alone waiting by the phone
And then she calls
And baby I
I hope you work it out
Forgive and just about forget
And take her on a first date again
And when you lean in for a kiss
hope you both feel the sparks by the end of the drive
I hope you know she’s the one by the end of the night
I hope you never ever felt more free
Tell your friends that you’re so happy
I hope she comes along and wrecks every one of your plans
I hope you spend your last dime to put a rock on her hand
I hope she’s wilder than your wildest dreams
She’s everything you’re ever gonna need
And then I hope she cheats
Like you did on me
And then I hope she cheats
Like you did on me
????????????????????????????????????????
“ And then I hope she cheats
Like you did on me
And then I hope she cheats
Like you did on me”
YASSSS! Love this song.
Good one! I hadn’t heard that. Gotta like the never ending ‘cheater reconciliations’ implied when the cheater takes the cheater back—-
LOLO – Heard it From a Friend
So
When you gonna tell me you don’t want me no more
Yeah I heard it from a friend who
Heard it from a friend
So
When you gonna tell me you fucked me over
Don’t you know that people watch
Don’t you know that people talk
So
When you gonna tell me you don’t want me no more
Ohh, don’t want me no more, ohh
HONORABLE MENTION:
ADELE – Rolling in the Deep, but covered by a scream-o band.
SONGS I WISH EXISTED
1+ year after DD and soon about to celebrate our one-year divorce anniversary:
“Why is This Fat, Ugly Hobo Trying to Pretend That We’re Friends? Please Go Away.”
Adele is a total narc cheater…. sickening.
Amen to that. I can’t find the song, but it is by Adele and lyrics are about look away as she goes off with another. I know it because it is what the ex sent me before she went off with another. If anybody recognizes it let me know.
Rolling in the Deep helped me find strength through the worst parts after I was alone. I wonder if Leo Moracchioli covered it? *checks* Yes he did!
And of course, Brand New Day from Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-Long Blog is very inspirational when you are hurting and angry.
This appeared as a moral dilemma
Cause at first it was weird though I swore to eliminate
The worst of the plague that devoured humanity
It’s true I was vague on the ‘How’
So how can it be that you have shown me the light?
It’s a brand new day
And the sun is high
All the birds are singing
That you’re gonna die
How I hesitated
Now I wonder why
It’s a brand new day
All the times that you beat me unconscious I’ll forgive
All the crimes incomplete, listen, honestly I’ll live
Mr. Cool, Mr. Right, Mr. Know-it-all is through
Now my future’s so bright and I owe it all to you
who showed me the light
It’s a brand new me
I’ve got no remorse
Now the water’s rising but I know the course
I’m gonna shock the world
Gonna show Bad Horse
It’s a Brand New Day
And Penny will see the evil me
Not a joke, not a dork, not a failure
And she may cry but her tears will dry
When I hand her the keys to a shiny new Australia.
It’s a brand new day
Yeah the sun is high
All the angels sing
Because you’re gonna die
Go ahead and laugh
Yeah, I’m a funny guy
Tell everyone goodbye
It’s a brand new day
I am a huge DHSAB fan, and I am thrilled you mentioned it here.
Take a bow by Rihanna
“ Don’t tell me you’re sorry ’cause you’re not
Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin’
But now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closin’
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now
(But it’s over now)
Go on and take a bow, oh
Grab your clothes and get gone (get gone)
(You better hurry up)
Before the sprinklers come on (come on)
Talkin’ ’bout “Girl, I love you, you’re the one”
This just looks like a re-run
Please
What else is on? Oh, oh”
I seriously love this song. ????
Agreed! I played that song OVER and OVER again beginning shortly after DDay. I even considered taking voice lessons to try to learn to sing it well. (Kind of envisioning a karmic fantasy moment where I could be singing it @ karaoke and cheater happens to walk in while the crowd is going wild for my performance). LOL
Teddy Pendergrass from the 70’s
“ I Don’t Love You Anymore “ very sad song. Every time I hear it reminds me of what my ex said . ????
Stupid things by Keane:
And now it’s little lies and alibis
And the second phone, can’t make it home
I’m working late, you know I hate
To miss the kids’ bedtime again
I drank too much, a working lunch
I’ll crash in town, so don’t wait up
If I don’t text, my phone’s just dead
I’ve got that thing, I’m sure I said
And I know that you know and we both just play along
Just one more stupid thing that I have done
Here’s one the sums up the Chump on D-day: “Forgive” by Rebecca Lynn Howard. First verse and chorus:
I always said that that’d be it
That I wouldn’t stick around
If it ever came to this
Yet here I am, so confused
How am I supposed to leave
When I can’t even move
In the time it would’ve took to say
‘Honey I’m home, how was your day’
You dropped a bomb right where we live
And expected me to just forgive?
Well, that’s a mighty big word
For such a small man
And I’m not sure I can
‘Cause I don’t even know now who I am
And it’s too soon for me to say forgive
Yeah that nails that pretty well 🙂
Another chump POV song
Fleetwood Mac – Landslide
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM7-PYtXtJM
I took my love, I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Where the landslide brought me down.
Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Fantastic song.
Join me as we step back into the 70s for a minute:
Third Rate Romance
https://youtu.be/aTT-Jmi1nOc
Operator (even when I eas a kid, this song made me cry)
https://youtu.be/3RA4MykPm4s
If you like the 70’s (and I was married in 1979) don’t forget the cheater’s ode: Me & Mrs. Jones by Billy Paul. “Me and Mrs. Jones, we got a thing going on. We both know that it’s wrong…”
I just DID cry listening to that. Love Jim Croce. Same as you; I heard it as a kid, and it always affected me. Still does, obviously.
More of my faves (so many to choose from…I could do this for hours):
Chump:
“She Used To Be Mine” by Sara Bareilles
“A Little Bit Stronger” by Sara Evans
Fuckwit:
“White Liar” by Miranda Lambert
Chump to Fuckwit (ie, things I wish I had said to my fuckwit):
“Jar of Hearts” by Christina Perri
“Praying” by Kesha
“Lose You to Love Me” by Selena Gomez
Miranda Lambert…. poster child for a narc cheater whore. I literally despise her. “It all comes out in the wash?” No it doesn’t!
“Walk of shame?” No! Sorry, not sorry.
Motherchumper – Couldn’t agree with you more! “White Liar” is basically just her autobiography…
NotTodayFuckwit: I love both Sarah Bareilles and Christina Perri. Lots of great chump songs from both that are staples on my playlist. Christina Perri’s Butterfly, Bang Bang Bang, Run, The Lonely, Tragedy, Shot Me im the Heart, I Believe, Trust. Sarah Bareilles’ 1000 Times, Beautiful girl, Bluebird, Bright Nights and cityscapes, Gravity, Little Black Dress, Many the miles, Uncharted, She used to be mine, The Light, Between the lines, and several more from both. I cant recommend them highly enough. Check these two out.
For A. Meghan Trainor’s “Lips Are Movin”
https://youtu.be/9ARUwZlDqrI
An excerpt:
You can buy me diamond earrings and deny
But I smell her on your collar so goodbye
I know you lie
Cause your lips are movin’
Baby do you think that I’m dumb!
BTW, Stbx bought HER diamond earrings.
“Picture this we were both butt naked banging on the bathroom door”
Shaggy’s advice about how to get out of being caught red handed: … “If she say a night, convince her say a day” and “It wasn’t me”
For the Chumps, pick me dance and d-day,
Selena Gomez – Lose You to Love Me
My 8yo daughter told me this song makes no sense. I laughed, maybe adults should learn a little from kids. lol
My 5yo just had the same reaction today when it came on the radio in the car! Lol
Beyoncé “me myself and I” https://music.apple.com/us/album/me-myself-and-i/201274359?i=201275913
All the ladies, if you feel me, help me sing it out
Here you go, trippin’
Everything is cool between us Bey
I told you that
Out on the road with my people, just doin’ what I gotta do
There’s nothing going that shouldn’t be goin’ on
You gotta trust me, Ma
[Verse 1]
I can’t believe I believed everything we had would last
So young and naive of me to think she was from your past
Silly of me to dream of one day having your kids
Love is so blind, it feels right when it’s wrong
[Verse 2]
I can’t believe I fell for your schemes, I’m smarter than that
So dumb and naive to believe that with me you’re a changed man
Foolish of me to compete when you cheat with loose women
It took me some time, but now I moved on
Because I realized I got
[Chorus]
Me, myself, and I
That’s all I got in the end
That’s what I found out
And it ain’t no need to cry
I took a vow that from now on, I’m gonna be my own best friend
Me, myself, and I
That’s all I got in the end
This song literally was on repeat play for 6 months and got me through the worst hell imaginable. It should be the CL theme song IMHO.
YAAAASSSS! Poor Bey, she’s definitely been chumped by Jay-Z multiple times…there’s also the song she wrote about him cheating on her with “Becky with the good hair” on her latest album, I think it’s called “Sorry.” It would be awesome if she would just dump Jay-Z once and for all – can’t tell you how many times people have used her as an example of someone who “was able to forgive” her husband’s affair(s)…F THAT NOISE.
It makes sense that she found this (Jay-Z) attractive given what a narc her father is. During interviews he refers to himself in the third person. He cheated on her mother for years.
Nine Inch Nails “Hurt”
You can have it all!
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt.
Makes me think about the “prize” of the pick me dance and the inevitable conclusion of wreckonciliation.
Loved Johnny Cash’s rendition of that song.
Here’s my chump song. I wrote it probably a month after the final D-Day, and it was instrumental in my healing, because writing it really helped me work through those feelings.
https://photos.app.goo.gl/sH9grkZv5SWasBTn9
Trail of Tears
Miles and miles away from home, on my way to an unknown foreign land.
There is not an end in sight although I look down that dusty road as far as I can see.
Refrain:
You’ve taken me from my home.
A fever’s burning, but I’m shivering cold.
I cry for mercy, but no one hears.
How long must I walk?
Trail of Tears.
Will I make it to the end or lay my body in a shallow, unmarked grave.
Either way it’s all the same, ’cause in your mind, I am nothing; just a memory.
Two become one; two become one.
One becomes two again.
Promises made, promises broken, I gave you all I had to give.
It wasn’t enough when said and done, so one becomes two again.
Vanity sleeps in the bed of another, and I’ve no place to lay my head.
Wow, that was REALLY good!!! Bravo!
Thanks!
This has been my redemptive song on repeat- my MEH ANTHEM. blast it with me, friends! I forgot that you existed by Taylor Swift- I’m not usually a Swifty but this song slays!
I forgot that you existed
And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t
And it was so nice
So peaceful and quiet
I forgot that you existed
It isn’t love, it isn’t hate
It’s just indifference
Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me, because of you, I am afraid.
Dessa – Good Grief
Kelly Clarkson – I Don’t Think About You
Both songs got me through some tough, chumpy days. Love you CL and CN!
I might have different tastes than some others here lol.
Submission A is “A Plot To Bomb the Panhandle” by A Day to Remember.
Here’s a middle finger
Coming straight from oca-l-a
I appreciate your judgement
It’s proved that I can’t trust a word you say
Those must be some pair of binoculars
That you see every move I make
So I’ll never be a liar
But you’ll always be two-faced
You’ll get what’s coming to you
You’re blinded by your instincts
I’m not your fucking game
I’m not so easily beat
I’m looking down at this mess that you’ve made
And I can’t believe that I stayed
So unhappy for so long
Where did I go wrong?
I’ve got to get out of this
My hand is on the handle
We’re leaving everything behind
Goodbye for a lifetime
I’ll rip that scandalous bitch in two
We’ll bring the noise
Try to pretend that I never even knew your name
‘Cause everything you are disgusts me
(Too bad I can’t turn back time)
So I wouldn’t be here
What I’d give for you to disappear
So tell me girly how’s your edge?
You’ve got nothing better to do
I know why you can’t see straight
I thought you were better than this
But you’re just like everyone else
I’m looking down at this mess that you’ve made
And I can’t believe that I stayed
So unhappy for so long
Where did I go wrong?
I’ve got to get out of this
My hand is on the handle
We’re leaving everything behind
Goodbye for a lifetime
My daughter loves that band! She goes to their shows whenever she can!
Songs to my ex-fuckwit cheater who is determined to destroy me.
Reba Mcentire “Survivor”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3iqfKpGDsE
Lorrie Morgan “Good as I was to You”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBebG5D6SaA
Rachel Platen “Fight Song”
I Will Survive as sung by Gloria Gaynor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARt9HV9T0w8
At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along
And so you’re back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key
If I’d known for just one second you’d be back to bother me
Go on now, go, walk out the door
Just turn around now
‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Do you think I’d crumble
Did you think I’d lay down and die?
Oh no, not I, I will survive
Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
And I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive
I will survive, hey, hey
It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh-so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high and you see me
Somebody new
I’m not that chained-up little person and still in love with you
And so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free
Well, now I’m saving all my lovin’ for someone who’s loving me
Go on now, go, walk out the door
Just turn around now
‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with goodbye
Do you think I’d crumble
Did you think I’d lay down and die?
Oh no, not I, I will survive
Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
And I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive
I will survive
Oh
Go on now, go, walk out the door
Just turn around now
‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with goodbye
Do you think I’d crumble
Did you think I’d lay down and die?
Oh no, not I, I will survive
Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
And I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive
I will survive
I will survive
Oh, yes. This is on my repeat playlist (the one titled “F;ck off and Die@
A band calld Cake do an AWESOME version of this, Tbh, Gloria began to get on my nerves. But the lyrics are exactly it.
Another great song. I listened to this many times. Heard it as a kid, and rediscovered it after D-day.
My favorite song is, “Hit ‘Em Up Style” by Blu Cantrell.
Oh-and in regards to what song I think of when I think of my cheater?
None. I love music-and he doesn’t deserve a song.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Hit Em Up Style!!! That whole video is a mood!
David Wilcox (USA), Johnny’s Camaro
https://youtu.be/MNNUqB4JFrY
Note: the song below is definitely NOT meh but rather about a wish of mine.
Ex is the vainest man I know and has always been afraid of any imperfection. It would drive him batshit crazy to have half of a missing finger on each hand (I said it wasn’t meh!).
The Knife Game Song by Rusty Cage:
Oh, I have all my fingers
The knife goes chop chop chop
If I miss the spaces in-between my fingers will come off
And if I hit my fingers
The blood will soon come out
But all the same I play this game cause that’s what it’s all about
Oh, chop chop chop chop chop chop
I’m picking up the speed
And if I hit my fingers then my hand will start to bleed
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QeTPNjPiyJM
“They say every one should have their heart broken, at least once.
That that is how you grow emotionally.
Well, I have been misused by many many many men,
But nothing can compare to how you treated me.
At times it really felt as though the pain was here to stay.
And though it’s many years ago, I feel it to this day.
And now you wanna be my friend on Facebook
Are you fuckin’ kidding me?
All the memories are flooding back to me now.
All the ways you stole the light from my eyes.
I traveled so far just to get away from you!
Till this mornings friend request surprise.
At times it really felt as though I’d never smile again.
You narcissistic ass hole, oh you nasty nasty man.
And now you wanna be my friend on Facebook
Are you fucking kidding?”
My anthem has been “That Old Pair of Jeans” by Fatboy Slim featuring Lateef the Truth Speaker.
“All you used to do was put me down
But I found a way to pick myself up off the ground
And all you used to do was criticize me
But now I found the good and I emphasize, ya see
You would always get so sensitive
And try to turn your transgressions into my guiltiness
But now, I’m certain of the way I live
And what I’m responsible for in this twisted game
And it’s such a shame that you try to make pain
Another word for my name, whether giving or receiving
It’s one and the same, just one more link
In your long-ass chain
But it’s time to break this frame and my strengthful will
Time to jump off this negative cycle we’ve built
Gave my heart but my self-respect, you won’t steal
Now, it’s time to let ya know if you can hear or feel me
So, I asked my momma for her two cents
And then I asked my little my sister and I asked my friend
Then I asked my poppa once and I asked him again
Came two little consensus from all them opinions
That life is too short to be unhappy
And since I know what I’m worth, there’ll be no settling for dirt
Knowing what I deserve is gold
If I want diamonds then I can’t settle for coal and
Maybe I was just too strong to let go
Maybe I was just too weak to let it show
Maybe I was just too stubborn to say, “No”
But whatever the case, I can’t take it no more
Sometimes, I think maybe we’ll patch it all up
Like a favorite pair of jeans that you won’t give up
Or maybe one of these arguments we’ll make up
And start again like when we started this up
Back when everything was fresh and every moment, a blessing
I’d laugh at all of your jokes, you’d listen to my suggestions
One mind, one soul, one common destination
Now, we can’t help but fight over the direction, so”
Oh YES I love his one. It’s on my Mighty & Free playlist
And this was on loop replay for drives home
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4cdZQ41rGAg
Bang an Blame- REM
“ If you could see yourself now, baby
The tables have turned, the whole world hinges on your swings
Your secret life of indiscreet discretions
I’d turn the screw and leave the screen
Don’t point your finger
You know that’s not my thing
You came to bang, bang, bang, bang, bang
To blame, blame, blame
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang
It’s not my thing, so let it go now”
These are all so great. For songs from the chump, I am convinced that Lucinda Williams had the misfortune of dating my ex in another life. Songs like “Greenville”, “Buttercup” and “Drunken Angel” are SO accurate in describing the narcissist who uses people up emotionally, physically and financially.
Funny how songs that I used to bob to with no real reflection now bother the heck out of me. Recently teenage son and I were watching The Guardians of the Galaxy (wonderful soundtrack!) and Escape (The Pina Colada song) came on. That song is about a married man who is bored in his relationship and decides to place a personal add. The person who answers turns out to be his wife and they end up laughing about the fact that they were both trying to screw around on each other.
I used to love that tune. Now it irritates the hell out of me. Kid and I talked about how twisted that song actually is.
Linda Ronstadt – You’re No Good
Or also Linda Ronstadt When Will I Be Loved?
I’ve been cheated
Been mistreated
When will I be loved?
I’ve been put down
I’ve pushed round
When will I be loved?
When I find a new man
That I want for mine
He always breaks my heart in two
It happens every time
Another great.
Pink Floyd
Comfortably Numb.
When the trauma first hit it was like an illness
This song describes it well. The last lines are
The child is grown. The dream is gone. I have become comfortably numb.
There is a live version on line. It is worth a listen.
Effect & Cause – White Stripes
https://youtu.be/tzWckYfZhbA
YEEES! This is BRILLIANT!! A song about blame-shifting
Well, first came an action and then a reaction
But you can’t switch around for your own satisfaction
Well, you burnt my house down and got mad at my reaction
I ain’t the reason that you gave me no reason to return your call
You built a house of cards and got shocked when you saw them fall
Yeah, well, I ain’t saying I’m innocent – in fact, the reverse
But if you’re headed to the grave, you don’t blame the hearse
You’re like a little girl yelling at her brother ’cause you lost his ball, yeah
Well, you keep blaming me for what you did, but that ain’t all
The way you clean up the wreck is enough to give one pause
Well, you seem to forget just how this all started
I’m reacting to you because you left me broken-hearted
See, you just can’t take the effect and make it the cause
If You Could Read My Mind, Gordon Lightfoot.
The lyrics are a bit opaque. I had to look up what getting burned in a 3 way script meant to make sure I was interpreting it right.
I really relate to the idea of suddenly being a ghost in your own life.
And I always have this on a loop in my head:
“I never knew I feel this way
And I’ve got to say that I just don’t get it”
Lyrics:
If you could read my mind love
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie
About a ghost from a wishing well
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet
You know that ghost is me
And I will never be set free
As long as I’m a ghost you can see
If I could read your mind love
What a tale your thoughts could tell
Just like a paperback novel
The kind the drugstore sells
When you reach the part where the heartaches come
Come the hero would be me
Heroes often fail
And you won’t read that book again
Because the ending’s just to hard to take
I walk away like a movie star
Who gets burned in a three way script
Enter number two, a movie queen
To play the scene of bringing all the good things out in me
But for now love let’s be real
I never knew I feel this way
And I’ve got to say that I just don’t get it
I don’t know where we went wrong
But the feeling’s gone and I just can’t get it back
If you could read my mind love
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie about a ghost from a wishing well
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet
The story always ends
And if you read between the lines
You’ll know that I’m just trying to understand
The feeling that you left
I never knew I feel this way
And I’ve got to say that I just don’t get it
I don’t know where we went wrong
But the feeling’s gone
And I just can’t get it back
When I was feeling somber, Sarah Jarosz spoke to my broken soul and calmed me:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8wedAIufx0
Or this one:
Puddle of Mudd – She Hates Me.
https://youtu.be/RDI187v1Jao
For the cheater:
So Long, by The Nylons
So long
You don’t know where I’m going
So long
You know you done me wrong
So long
‘Cause I know I’m all gone
Goodbye
You need to tell me why
Goodbye
You always make me cry
Oh why
Why you never satisfied
Packing my bag and heading out
Don’t know where or what about
Taking a long forgotten trip
Don’t know why I let it slip
Well the way the world is now
I don’t want to start a row
Baby you won’t believe in love
Wrote you some letters
Oh, take care of yourself
I’ll be checking in, oh later
Did you ever have to make up your mind? By The Lovin’ Spoonful
Did you ever have to make up your mind?
And pick up on one and leave the other behind?
It’s not often easy and not often kind.
Did you ever have to make up your mind?
I made a youtube playlist, and called it “The Road to Meh”. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTwWoy9qryUQqKzoem8AsefjtvWvlWyil I started it soon after DDay in 2015 and updated it periodically (haven’t recently but I may have to add some of the great songs listed here that I didn’t know then :)). It’s mostly from the chump POV, and I tried to include the progression of feelings as time passed. I included Adele’s “Send my love to your new lover” because to me it is about letting go of it all and celebrating being set free, reaching Meh. I don’t necessarily agree with the “send my love…treat her better” part, because frankly I just don’t care about her or how she is treated, but that part of it doesn’t bother me.
Thanks for sharing this list. My mother died one day after your last update, so it definitely brings me back to realize how far I’ve come. Past is prologue. My DD#2 was April 2017 & D final in May 2018 (25 wedding anniversary). Working toward Meh………………
And I take Adele “send my love….treat her better” to be dripping with sarcasm and a backhand for cheater to pass along to (in my case) Howorker. She knows what’s ahead for her!!!!!!!!
Don’t know if the blog sensors so I edited.
Crowds by Bauhaus
You worthless b***h
You fickle s**t
You would spit on me
You would make me spit
And when the Judas hour arrives
And like the Jesus Jews you epitomize
I’ll still be here as strong as you
And I’ll walk away in spite of you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raRGnueg8Lo
Lyrics
I’m living without you
But I know all about you
I have run you down into the ground
Spread disease about you over town
I used to adore you
I couldn’t control you
There was nothing that I wouldn’t do
To keep myself around and close to you
Do you have an opinion?
A mind of your own?
I thought you were special
I thought you should know
But I’ve run out of patience
I couldn’t care less
I,
I
Do you have an opinion?
A mind of your own?
I thought you were special
I thought you should know
I used to amuse you
But I knew that I’d lose you
Now you’re here and begging for a chance
But there’s no way in hell I’d take you back
Do you have an opinion?
A mind of your own?
I thought you were special
I thought you should know
But I’ve run out of patience
I’ve run out of comments
I’m tired of the violence
I couldn’t care less
I’m looking for a new [Repeat: x4]
You were the talk of the town [Repeat: x4]
I thought you were special [Repeat: x4]
“Human” by Human League
Come on, baby, dry your eyes
Wipe your tears
Never like to see you cry
Won’t you please forgive me?
I wouldn’t ever try to hurt you
I just needed someone to hold me
To fill the void while you were gone
To fill this space of emptiness
I’m only human of flesh and blood I’m made
Human, born to make mistakes
So many nights I longed to hold you
So many times I looked and saw your face
Nothing could change the way I feel
No one else could ever take your place
I’m only human of flesh and blood I’m made
Human, born to make mistakes (I am just a man, human)
Please forgive me
The tears I cry aren’t tears of pain
They’re only to hide my guilt and shame
I forgive you, now I ask the same of you
While we were apart I was human too
I’m only human of flesh and blood I’m made (I am just a man)
Human, born to make mistakes
For us Chumps. A little 80s synth pop from OMD “So In Love”
Talk to me, don’t lie to me
Save your breath
Don’t look at me, don’t smile at me
Just close your eyes
I was so impressed by you
I was running blind
I would fall for every trick
Every twist of mind
Heaven is cold
Without any soul
It’s hard to believe
I was so in love with you
Don’t say your prayers, don’t build your hopes
Just walk away
Don’t phone me up, don’t call around
Don’t waste your time
You were so in awe of me
You were so divine
You would do just anything
To still be mine
Heaven is cold
Without any soul
It’s hard to believe
I was so in love with you
All the things you said to me
I was so obsessed
You were always talking, talking
God, I did my best…”
Wow, I used to be a huge OMD fan and never realized what this song was about. Here’s another 80’s synth song, Depeche Mode’s Lie to Me. Back in the days when I was sending my XH angry emails, I told him this should have been our First Dance wedding song. lol. 🙂
Come on and lay with me
Come on and lie to me
Tell me you love me
Say I’m the only one
Experiences have a lasting impression
But words once spoken
Don’t mean a lot now
Belief is the way
The way of the innocent
And when I say innocent
I should say naive
So lie to me
But do it with sincerity
Make me listen
Just for a minute
Make me think
There’s some truth in it
Promises made for convenience
Aren’t necessarily
What we need
Truth is a word
That’s lost its meaning
The truth has become
Merely half-truth
So lie to me
Like they do it in the factory
Make me think
That at the end of the day
Some great reward
Will be coming my way
Can’t get the link right now but Halsey’s new song “You should be sad” is an excellent chump anthem – she said she purposely leaned into the country sound because it makes for the best petty breakup songs.
Lyric sample:
No you’re not half the man you think that you are
And you can’t fill that hole inside of you with money, drugs and cars
I’m so glad I never ever had a baby with you
‘Cause you can’t love nothing unless there’s something in it for you
Fun fact – Halsey has been open about her struggles with infertility and has miscarried at least once, so if she’s telling the guy she’s glad she never had a kid with him, you can know how furious she is.
My song for my cheater would be:
None. I LOVE music-and he doesn’t deserve something I love.
A) the feelings of a chump on her/his way to the state of meh, getting mighty every single day
I dedicate this song to my XH the sociopath:
I Don’t Care Anymore by Phil Colins
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeRDBPWK714
Well you can tell everyone I’m a down disgrace
Drag my name all over the place
I don’t care anymore
You can tell everybody ’bout the state I’m in
You won’t catch me crying ’cause I just can’t win
I don’t care anymore, I don’t care anymore
I don’t care what you say
I don’t play the same games you play
‘Cause I’ve been talking to the people that you call your friends
And it seems to me there’s a means to and end
They don’t care anymore
And as for me I can sit here and bide my time
I got nothing to lose if I speak my mind
I don’t care anymore, I don’t care no more
I don’t care what you say
We never played by the same rules anyway
I won’t be there anymore
Get out of my way
Let me by
I got better things to do with my time
I don’t care anymore, I don’t care anymore
I don’t care anymore, I don’t care anymore
Well, I don’t care now what you say
‘Cause every day I’m feeling fine with myself
And I don’t care now what you say
Hey, I’ll do alright by myself
‘Cause I know
‘Cause I remember all the times I tried so hard
And you laughed in my face ’cause you held all the cards
I don’t care anymore
And I really ain’t bothered what you think of me
‘Cause all I want of you is just a let me be
I don’t care anymore, d’you hear? I don’t care no more
I don’t care what you say
I never did believe you much anyway
I won’t be there no more
So get out of my way
Let me by
I got better things to do with my time
I don’t care anymore
D’you hear? I don’t care anymore
I don’t care no more
You listening? I don’t care no more
No more!
I am so proud of a former (and talented) student of mine, who grabbed her mighty back from her cheater and made a freaking music video about it. She is one of the mightiest young women I know. Here is her video, which, she told me, was quite cathartic:
Wow…just wow! She truly IS mighty! Thank you for sharing ILC!
I’ve listened to this about five times. She’s so mighty! And talented! And cute! She’s learned a good life lesson early. She will go far. Thanks for sharing.
Bryan Adams-Run to You
Blech this song still makes me sick to my stomach, it was popular on the radio when I first met my ex, and little did I know he was married. And it was playing in the background of our relationship, literally and figuratively. He didn’t tell me until the discard that I had been the OW in his first marriage. And then when I brought it up later, he said “I never said that”. He told me at the time that his marriage was already over. There were so many signs, I was so young and naive!
She says her love for me could never die
But that’d change if she ever found out about you and I
Oh but her love is cold
Wouldn’t hurt her if she didn’t know, ’cause
When it gets too much
I need to feel your touch
I’m gonna run to you
I’m gonna run to you
‘Cause when the feelin’s right I’m gonna run all night
I’m gonna run to you
She’s got a heart of gold, she’d never let me down
But you’re the one that always turns me on
You keep me comin’ ’round
I know her love is true
But it’s so damn easy makin’ love to you
I got my mind made up
I need to feel your touch
I didn’t know that’s what that song is about. I HATE it now. Disgusting how such despicable behavior is glamorized and romanticized. Like no one ever gets their heart ripped out because of the selfish actions of others.
“Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood. I changed STBX’s contact info on my phone so that any time I get a phone call or text message from him, this song plays. I changed it after my first DDay years ago, when he was “attempting” to work things out. Of course, his definition of working things out was to start yet another affair, while I continued my Chumpdom. Somewhere inside I must have known it was BS, because I kept the ringtone the same. I especially like the last lines:
I might have saved a little trouble for the next girl
‘Cause the next time that he cheats
Oh, you know it won’t be on me!
No, not on me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKL4X0PZz7M
For A) My Silver Lining by First Aid Kit
I don’t want to wait anymore I’m tired of looking for answers
Take me some place where there’s music and there’s laughter
I don’t know if I’m scared of dying but I’m scared of living too fast, too slow
Regret, remorse, hold on, oh no I’ve got to go
There’s no starting over, no new beginnings, time races on
And you’ve just gotta keep on keeping on
Gotta keep on going, looking straight out on the road
Can’t worry ’bout what’s behind you or what’s coming for you further up the road
I try not to hold on to what is gone, I try to do right what is wrong
I try to keep on keeping on
Yeah I just keep on keeping on
I am LOVING finding some of my faves here and feeling chumpy hugs for those of you sharing my songs (((((songstogetyouthru)))))
I can’t think why but I always seem to sing the ‘ hollow and of no use’ part of Driftwood by Travis with real feeling if I think about my ex.
Driftwood by Travis
Everything is open
Nothing is set in stone
Rivers turn to ocean
Oceans tide you home
Home is where your heart is
But your heart had to roam
Drifting over bridges
Never to return
Watching bridges burn
You’re driftwood floating underwater
Breaking into pieces, pieces, pieces.
Just driftwood hollow and of no use
Waterfalls will find you bind you grind you
Nobody is an island
Everyone has to go
Pillars turn to butter
Butterflying low
Low is where your heart is
But your heart has to grow
Drifting under bridges
Never with the flow
And you really didn’t think it would happen
But it really is the end of the line
So I’m sorry that you turned to driftwood
But you’ve been drifting for a long long time
Everywhere there’s trouble
Nowhere’s safe to go
Pushes turn to shovel’s
Shoveling the snow
Frozen you have chosen
The path you wish to go
Drifting now forever
And forever more
Until you reach your shore…
Tracy Chapman Smoke and Ashes
A great representation of both sides. Beautiful voice and music..
I’d heard rumors and I’d heard talk
About the trail you’d left of broken hearts
About the sea of tears too wide to cross
But a little bad press has never scared me off
So I burned a path to figure out
How to get me some of what you got
I’ve got a red hot heart
If the talk is true yours is the same
We should be together
And let our passions fan love’s flame, oh yeah
When I looked for you I almost passed you by
You were so cool and calm
I thought my friends had lied
But I thought so much reserve must make you wild inside
It was there and then that I knew
I had to get some of what you got
I’ve got a red hot heart
If the talk is true yours is the same
We should be together
And let our passions fan love’s flame, oh yeah
I thought I’d won your heart when I held you hand in mine
I thought it was true love the way we complemented each other
But my right is your wrong
And when you’re right then I’m left with nothing
Your light and your heat have all been spent
Leaving only smoke and ashes
Only smoke and ashes baby
I’ve got a red hot heart
And your heart’s as blue as the blood in your veins
I say there’s fire down below
You say it’s only smoke and ashes baby
I’m crying all the time
Salty stinging tears
And mourning for the past carbon-dated years
But knowing now for certain that you were always right
Because if a breeze could blow you out of my life
It’s only smoke and ashes, baby
Only smoke and ashes baby
I’ve got a red hot heart
And your heart’s as blue as the blood in your veins
I say there’s fire down below
You say it’s only smoke and ashes baby
I was blinded by devotion
My unwavering love for you
So blinded that I thought all your lies were true
But now I know for certain since you’ve gone away
It was just a smoldering fire I mistook for a blaze
Only smoke and ashes baby
For the Chump after dumping the cheater. This one always cheers me up.
Ha Ha You’re Dead by Green Day
How do you get your sleep at night?
How did you get your noose so tight?
Like chewing on tinfoil, it’s so much fun
Gonna be dead before you’re gone
Cause look how things have gotten
And I’ll be happy so I won’t pretend
And I’ll be cheering that you’re going down
And I’ll be laughing, I’ll be laughing
How many feelings can you steal?
Gotta be part of your appeal
I can see through you cause you’re wearing thin
Like chewing on tinfoil once again
Cause look how things have gotten
And I’ll be happy so I won’t pretend
And I’ll be cheering that you’re going down
And I’ll be laughing
Ha Ha you’re dead
And I’m so happy
In loving memory
Of your demise
When your ship is going down
I’ll go out and paint the town
Ha Ha you’re dead
Ha Ha you’re dead
Ha Ha you’re dead
(repeat refrain)
(ha ha ha)
Ha Ha you’re dead
The joke is over
You were an asshole
And now you’re gone
As your ship is going down
I’ll stand by and watch you drown
Ha Ha you’re dead
Ha Ha you’re dead
Ha Ha you’re dead
Ha Ha you’re dead
You’re gonna be dead
Just remember what I said
Ha Ha you’re dead
Ha Ha you’re dead
Ha Ha you’re dead
For the chumps, “You’re So Cruel” by U2:
We crossed the line
Who pushed who over?
It doesn’t matter to you
It matters to me
We’re cut adrift
We’re still floating
I’m only hanging on
To watch you go down
My love
I disappeared in you
You disappeared from me
I gave you everything you ever wanted
It wasn’t what you wanted
The men who love you, you hate the most
They pass through you like a ghost
They look for you, but your spirit is in the air
Baby, you’re nowhere
Oh love
You say in love there are no rules
Oh love
Sweetheart
You’re so cruel
Desperation is a tender trap
It gets you every time
You put your lips to her lips
To stop the lie
Her skin is pale like God’s only dove
Screams like an angel for your love
Then she makes you watch her from above
And you need her like a drug
Oh love
You say in love there are no rules
Oh love
Sweetheart,
You’re so cruel
She wears my love like a see-through dress
Her lips say one thing
Her movements something else
Oh love, like a screaming flower
Love, dying every hour, love
You don’t know if it’s fear or desire
Danger the drug that takes you higher
Head in heaven, fingers in the mire
Her heart is racing, you can’t keep up
The night is bleeding like a cut
Between the horses of love and lust
We are trampled
Underfoot
Oh love
You say in love there are no rules
Oh love
Sweetheart,
You’re so cruel
Oh love
To stay with you I’d be a fool
Oh, huhh
Sweetheart
You’re so cruel
Wake Up Call by Maroon Five
Another vengefully satisfying one for a chump.
https://youtu.be/dkQ0OJ5Byls
For the point of view of the chump, Katy Perry’s Wide Awake (great video too)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0BWlvnBmIE
I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
Yeah, I was in the dark
I was falling hard
With an open heart
I’m wide awake
How did I read the stars so wrong
I’m wide awake
And now it’s clear to me
That everything you see
Ain’t always what it seems
I’m wide awake
Yeah, I was dreaming for so long
I wish I knew then
What I know now
Wouldn’t dive in
Wouldn’t bow down
Gravity hurts
You made it so sweet
Till I woke up on
On the concrete
Falling from cloud nine
Crashing from the high
I’m letting go tonight
I’m falling from cloud nine
I’m wide awake
Not losing any sleep
Picked up every piece
And landed on my feet
I’m wide awake
Need nothing to complete myself, no
I’m wide awake
Yeah, I am born again
Out of the lion’s den
I don’t have to pretend
And it’s too late
The story’s over now, the end
I wish I knew then
What I know now
Wouldn’t dive in
Wouldn’t bow down
Gravity hurts
You made it so sweet
Till I woke up on
On the concrete
Falling from cloud nine
Crashing from the high
I’m letting go tonight
I’m falling from cloud nine
Thunder rumbling
Castles crumbling
I am trying to hold on
God knows that I tried
Seeing the bright side
But I’m not blind anymore
I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
Falling from cloud nine
Crashing from the high
I’m letting go tonight
I’m falling from cloud nine
I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
Listened to this many times post D-day. Great song.
This is just great…
https://youtu.be/zu9QM1LQR2g
Love this chump song (with a nod to the late, great Jeff Healey). My very favorite lyric:
‘You never give an inch to me baby,
Though I’ve been giving you a mile or two“
https://youtu.be/iPnO-T0kt4c
Forgot the title…”I Think I Love You Too Much”
Definitely “Lose you to Love me” by Selena Gomez (has been mentioned a few times).
“So What” by Pink.
You weren’t there
You never were
You want it all
But that’s not fair
I gave you love
I gave my all
You weren’t there
You let me fall
So, so what?
I’m still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don’t need you
And guess what
I’m having more fun
And now that we’re done
I’m gonna show you tonight
I’m alright, I’m just fine
And you’re a tool
So, so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don’t want you tonight
“How do you Sleep?” by Sam Smith. He used to hold me every night during “wreckonciliation” and I never could figure out how he could so easily fall asleep. I could barely get three hours.
I’m done hatin’ myself for feelin’
I’m done cryin’ myself awake
I’ve gotta leave and start the healin’
But when you move like that, I just want to stay
What have I become?
Lookin’ through your phone now, oh, now
Love to you is just a game
Look what I’ve done
Dialing up the numbers on you
I don’t want my heart to break
Baby, how do you sleep when you lie to me?
All that shame and all that danger
I’m hopin’ that my love will keep you up tonight
Baby, how do you sleep when you lie to me?
All that fear and all that pressure
I’m hopin’ that my love will keep you up tonight
Love will keep you up tonight
(Tell me how do you)
Oh no, how did I manage to lose me?
I am not this desperate, not this crazy
There’s no way I’m stickin’ ’round to find out
I won’t lose like that, I won’t lose myself
Look what I’ve done now
Dialin’ up the numbers on you
I don’t want my heart to break
Baby, how do you sleep when you lie to me?
All that shame and all that danger
I’m hopin’ that my love will keep you up tonight
Baby, how do you sleep when you lie to me?
All that fear and all that pressure
I’m hopin’ that my love will keep you up tonight
Yes, “How do you sleep?” speaks to me, as well. I’m also fond of another of his songs, “I’m not the only one.” I love it, but I can barely listen to it sometimes. You know he (or whoever wrote the song) has to have gone through this to write like this.
You’ve been so unavailable
Now sadly I know why
Your heart is unobtainable
Even though you don’t share mine
You say I’m crazy
‘Cause you don’t think I know what you’ve done
But when you call me baby
I know I’m not the only one
“Cry me a River”
Written by Authur Hamilton
Sung by Ella Fitzgerald
Now you say you’re lonely
You cry the long night through
Well, you can cry me a river
Cry me a river
I cried a river over you
Now you say you’re sorry
For being so untrue
Well, you can cry me a river
Cry me a river
‘Cause I cried, I cried, I cried a river over you
You drove me, nearly drove me, out of my head
While you never shed a tear
Remember, I remember, all that you said?
You told me love was too plebeian
Told me you were through with me and
And now you say, you say you love me
Well, just to prove you do
Come on and cry me a river
Cry me a river
‘Cause I cried a river over you
You drove me, nearly drove me, out of my head
While you never shed a tear
Remember, I remember, all that you said?
Told me love was too plebeian
Told me you were through with me and
Now, now you say you love me
Well, just to prove you do
Come on and cry, cry, cry me a river
Cry me a river
‘Cause I cried a river over you.
^^This^^ I came here to post this.
Fun bonus fact: this was my mother’s “fuck you” song about my father when they broke up one summer long before they were married. I don’t know the whole story…but, yeah.
Shortly after D-Day #2, I rediscovered “Temptation” by New Order, written from the perspective of a shallow, narcissistic cheater:
“Heaven, a gateway, a hope
Just like a feeling inside, it’s no joke
And though it hurts me to see you this way
Betrayed by words I’d never heard, too hard to say
Up, down, turn around
Please don’t let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I’ll walk alone
I’ll find myself as I go home…”
and then, at the end of the song, it just repeats:
“Oh, you’ve got green eyes
Oh, you’ve got blue eyes
Oh, you’ve got grey eyes…
And I’ve never seen anyone quite like you before
No, I’ve never met anyone quite like you before”
I think this is a brilliant representation of my cheater STBX, who fell madly into bed with the first “strange” she met at a bar, and who likely could fall immediately in love with anybody who love bombs her enough that she can fill the huge gaping hold in her soul. Since we have kids together, I shudder to imagine which “green-eyed, blue-eyed, grey-eyed” people she might bring home after our divorce is final…so I’ll ask for pretty strong protections in that regard.
She’s Going to bring them home even with orders preventing it and getting a judge to honor orders is a joke. Mine is on woman 2 and he’s not supposed to move anyone in with out notifying me in writing 30 days in advance. Oh and we have been only divorced a year.
Long time reader, first comment.
Used to listen to a public radio show about people in recovery from addiction called Magnificent Obsession. It came on at 5 or 6AM on Sunday and I was always up just to listen to it, it was that good. One morning, I heard a snippet of a song that was so unlike anything I would ever listen to and so meaningful, it was like a lightbulb going off in my head. I looked up the lyrics and tracked down the artist and even though it’s about about leaving a man over his addiction to alcohol, I find it applies to any time I’ve got to make a hard change.
Lucy Kaplansky, One Good Reason
Woke up scared in the middle of the night
He reached for the bottle and turned on the light
Looked at the clock, this can’t be right
I’m not dreaming
Turned on the tv and the radio
Elvis rocked and Elvis rolled
While Jesus on his radio show
Said pack your bags, we’re leaving
There’s a line I’ve crossed somewhere
I left the best of me back there
Never thoguht I’d end up here
Guess all the best things disappear
Whiskey is his water and it’s made in hell
From the bottom of his barrel to the bottom of his well
Nothing in this room but an empty shell
And he’s not dreaming
A drunkard’s regrets are a dime a dozen
A thousand cures and a thousand poinsons
Even Elvis couldn’t find one good reason
To keep believing
There’s a line I’ve crossed somewhere
I left the best of me back there
Never thoguht I’d end up here
Guess all the best things disappear
Guess she thought she had nothing to lose
When she told him he had to choose
Nice idea but they both knew
That she’d be leaving
Jesus said seek and you shall find
He doesn’t think it’s true this time
Some things you look for you never find
Like one good reason
There’s a line I’ve crossed somewhere
I left the best of me back there
Never thoguht I’d end up here
Guess all the best things disappear
When going thru wreckonciliation…I can’t make you love me” by Bonnie Raitt used to tear me up.
Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don’t patronize
Don’t patronize me
‘Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
But you won’t, no you won’t
‘Cause I can’t make you love me, if you don’t
I’ll close my eyes, then I won’t see
The love you don’t feel when you’re holding me
Morning will come and I’ll do what’s right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
‘Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
But you won’t, no you won’t
‘Cause I can’t make you love me,if You don’t
Another great song.
And “All Woman” was my get pissed, power anthem.
He’s home again from another day
She smiles at him as he walks through the door
She wonders if it will be okay
It’s hard for her when he doesn’t respond
He says Babe, you look a mess
You look dowdy in that dress
It’s just not like it used to be
Then she says
I may not be a lady
But I’m all woman
From Monday to Sunday I work harder than you know
I’m no classy lady
But I’m all woman
And this woman needs a little love
To make her strong
You’re not the only one
She stands and lets the tears flow
Tears that she’s been holding back so long
She wonders where did all the loving go
The love they used to share when they were strong
She says yes I look a mess
But I don’t love any less
I thought you always thought of me
To always be impressed
I may not be a lady
But I’m all woman
From Monday to Sunday I work harder than you know
I’m no classy lady
But I’m all woman
And this woman needs a little love
To make her strong
You’re not the only one
He holds her and hangs his head in shame
He doesn’t see her like he used to do
He’s too wrapped up in working for his pay
He hasn’t seen the pain he’s put her through
Attention that he paid
Just vanished in the haze
He remembers how it used to be
When he used to say
You’ll always be a lady
‘Cause you’re all woman
From Monday to Sunday I love you
Much more than you know
You’re a classy lady
‘Cause you’re all woman
This woman needs a loving man to keep her warm
You’re the only one
You’re a classy lady
‘Cause you’re all woman
So sweet the love that used to be
So sweet the love that used to be
We can be sweet again
And when I think of it, my fingers turn to fists
I never did anything to you, man
No matter what I try, you beat me with your bitter lies
So call me crazy, hold me down
Make me cry; get off now, baby
It won’t be long till you’ll be lying limp in your own hands
Thank you Fiona Apple for the image that keeps me going through the shit sandwich that currently is my life seeing Dr Narc’s pride and joy “limp in his own hands”!!!!!!!!
For the Foolish Cheater (excerpt from Yolanda by Bobby “Blue” Bland)
I was wealthy and lonely when I met her
Had a house, a job and a Cadillac
A lovely wife, a beautiful daughter
I lost them all when she called & I answered back
Oh Yolanda
Why you forsake me?
Why you just lay, lay, lay my body down?
Oh Yolanda
Why did you leave me?
In this wilderness with no money down
A Chump Query and Anthem (excerpt from Hate on Me by Jill Scott)
If I could give you the world
On a silver platter
Would even matter? You’d still be mad at me
If I can find in all this a dozen roses
Which I would give to you, you’d still be miserable
In reality I’m gon’ be who I be
And I don’t feel no faults for all the lies that you bought
You can try as you may bring me down when I say
That it ain’t up to you, go on do what you do
Hate on me hater
Now or later
‘Cause I’m gonna do me
You’ll be made baby
(Go head and hate)
Go head and hate on me hater
I’m not afraid of
What I got I paid for
You can hate on me
Truth telling (excerpt from Fairytales by Anita Baker)
I can remember stories, those things my mother said
She told me fairy tales, before I went to bed
She spoke of happy endings, then tucked me in real tight
She turned my night light on, and kissed my face good night
My mind would fill with visions, of perfect paradise
She told me everything, she said he’d be so nice
He’d ride up on his horse and, take me away one night
I’d be so happy with him, we’d ride clean out of sight
She never said that we would, curse, cry and scream and lie
She never said that maybe, someday he’d say goodbye
The story ends, as stories do
Reality steps into view
No longer living life in paradise-or fairy tales
One More – Before Gloria Gaynor (or maybe around the same time) there was another Queen – Linda Ronstandt (excerpt from You’re No Good)
Feelin’ better now that we’re through
Feelin’ better, ’cause I’m over you
I learned my lesson, it left a scar
Now I see how you really are
You’re no good
You’re no good
You’re no good
Baby, you’re no good
I’m gonna say it again
You’re no good
You’re no good
You’re no good
Baby, you’re no good
My Favorite – For When You On Your Way to Meh – Golden by Jill Scott
I’m taking my freedom, pulling it off the shelf
Putting it on my chain, wearing it around my neck
I’m taking my freedom, putting it in my car
Wherever I choose to go it will take me far
I’m living my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Golden
I’m taking my own freedom, putting it in my song
Singing loud and strong, groovin all day long
I’m taking my own freedom, putting it in my stroll
I’ll be high stepping y’all, letting the joy unfold
I’m living my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Golden
I’m holdin on to my freedom, can’t take it from me
I was born into it, it comes naturally
I’m strumming my own freedom in the god in me
Reverence in his glory, hope he proud of me
I’m living my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Livin’ my life like its golden
Love this Friday thread!
“The Pretender,” by the Foo Fighters. The music video is chilling, and so is the chorus. I remembered leaving my ex, about a year after things got really bad, the first time I heard it:
What if I say you’re not like the others?
What if I say I’m not another one of your plays?
You’re the pretender
What if I say that I will never surrender?
Best of You by the Foo Fighters is great too.
Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
I heard this song on the radio while driving with wasband in the car on our way to pick up kids shortly after discard day. The radio gods helped me out that day.
Truth Hurts by Lizzo
Not everyone’s cup of tea, but Lizzo’s all about self love and self care, and I love her. And this song goes for anybody who’s a cheater, not just the male gender – why are they perfectly nice, until they gotta step up?
Her other songs, especially Juice and Good as Hell are also good self-love anthems.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P00HMxdsVZI
Why men great ’til they gotta be great?
Woo
I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% that bitch
Even when I’m crying crazy
Yeah, I got boy problems, that’s the human in me
Bling bling, then I solve ’em, that’s the goddess in me
You coulda had a bad bitch, non-committal
Help you with your career just a little
You’re ‘posed to hold me down, but you’re holding me back
And that’s the sound of me not calling you back
Why men great ’til they gotta be great?
Don’t text me, tell it straight to my face
Best friend sat me down in the salon chair
Shampoo press, get you out of my hair
Fresh photos with the bomb lighting
New man on the Minnesota Vikings
Truth hurts, needed something more exciting
Bom bom bi dom bi dum bum bay
You tried to break my heart?
Oh, that breaks my heart
That you thought you ever had it
No, you ain’t from the start
Hey, I’m glad you’re back with your bitch
I mean who would wanna hide this?
I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever be your side chick
I put the sing in single
Ain’t worried ’bout a ring on my finger
So you can tell your friend, “shoot your shot” when you see ’em
It’s OK, he already in my DMs
Why men great ’til they gotta be great?
Don’t text me, tell it straight to my face
Best friend sat me down in the salon chair
Shampoo press, get you out of my hair
Fresh photos with the bomb lighting
New man on the Minnesota Vikings
Truth hurts, needed something more exciting
Bom bom bi bom bi dum bum bay
I’ma hit you back in a minute
I don’t play tag, bitch, I been it
We don’t fuck with lies, we don’t do goodbyes
We just keep it pushing like aye yi yi
I’ma hit you back in a minute
I don’t play tag, bitch, I been it
We don’t fuck with lies, we don’t do goodbyes
We just keep it pushing like aye yi yi
Why men great ’til they gotta be great?
Don’t text me, tell it straight to my face
Best friend sat me down in the salon chair
Shampoo press, get you out of my hair
Fresh photos with the bomb lighting
New man on the Minnesota Vikings
Truth hurts, needed something more exciting
Bom bom bi bom bi dum bum bay
I’ma hit you back in a minute
I don’t play tag, bitch, I been it
We don’t fuck with lies, we don’t do goodbyes
We just keep it pushing like aye yi yi
That’s healthy boundaries right there – Lizzo’s not playing games or pick-me dancing.
OH HELL YES! “Good as Hell” is my anthem right now. Especially since during wreckonciliation, he kept saying how much he liked my T&A…. even said it in his sleep once. Think it’s because the OW doesn’t have one. Yup, fitter than me maybe but with no curves. Oh and much, much less attractive. BTW, I’m 5’4″ and 120lbs… and workout 6 days away. Justification anyone? Anyone?
I do my hair toss
Check my nails
Baby how you feelin’?
Feeling good as hell
Hair toss
Check my nails
Baby how you feelin’?
Feeling good as hell
Woo child, tired of the bullshit
Go on dust your shoulders off, keep it moving
Yes Lord, tryna get some new shit
In there, swimwear, going to the pool shit
Come now, come dry your eyes
You know you a star, you can touch the sky
I know that it’s hard but you have to try
If you need advice, let me simplify
If he don’t love you anymore
Just walk your fine ass out the door
I do my hair toss
Check my nails
Baby how you feelin’?
Feeling good as hell
Hair toss
Check my nails
Baby how you feelin’?
Feeling good as hell
Feeling good as hell
Baby how you feelin’?
Feeling good as hell
Woo girl, need to kick off your shoes
Got to take a deep breath, time to focus on you
All the big fights, long nights that you been through
I got a bottle of tequila I been saving for you
Boss up and change your life
You can have it all, no sacrifice
I know he did you wrong, we can make it right
So go and let it all hang out tonight
Cause he don’t love you anymore
So walk your fine ass out the door
And do your hair toss
Check my nails
Baby how you feelin’?
Feeling good as hell
Hair toss
Check my nails
Baby how you feelin’?
Feeling good as hell
Show it off tonight
Hair toss
Check my nails
Baby how you feelin’?
Feeling good as hell
And we gon’ be alright
Hair toss
Check my nails
Baby, how you feeling?
(Feeling good as hell)
Mmm, yeah
Alright, listen
If he don’t love you anymore
Then walk your fine ass out the door
And do your hair toss
Check my nails
Baby how you feelin’?
Feeling good as hell
Hair toss
Check my nails
Baby how you feelin’?
Feeling good as hell
Show it off tonight
Hair toss
Check my nails
Baby how you feelin’?
Feeling good as hell
And we gon’ make it right
Hair toss
Check my nails
Baby, how you feeling?
(Feeling good as hell)
Feeling good as hell
Baby how you feelin’?
Feeling good as hell
Before He Cheats…Carrie Underwood for a good ‘ole get him back fantasy. Lol
In my case, this wasnt just a fantasy. Xh was on at least #5 (w/in 4 years). Several of them would turn to me for help when he started his crap w/them. (Ya, took me awhile to learn I couldn’t help anymore of his victims.)
This victim (#5?) was pissed the 2nd or 3rd time he cheated on & dumped her. One day she just sent me the video of Before He Cheats. She didn’t write anything about it. I figured it was just her wishful thinking type thing.
I found out the next day or two that xh’s fairly new & expensive vehicle had been keyed one night in his driveway. He thought it was probably her but couldn’t prove it.
Illegal & not a good thing for someone to do no matter how scorned? Of course. Something similar to what I had fantasized about but would never have the guts to do? Absolutely. I didn’t have any actual (legal) proof who did it though. I just had a country video sent to me afterall. Lol
You would think that like the song says, maybe he would think the next time before he cheats after that happening. Nope. What he did instead was install a video recording security system around his house & on his vehicle. Cuz you know, cheating & emotionally abusing people isn’t illegal. But property destruction sure is. He has to protect his property because he pisses off & cheats on a lot of women & men!
I always hated that song “If you could read my mind” by Gordon lightfoot. He just sounds so narcissistic – referring to himself as a hero who failed. Seriously?
And just looked it up… he did write it about walking out on his wife and young family!
This was on the playlist for the first few months, when I was still in mourning for the relationship I though I’d had for 40 years (now, not at meh yet, but I can see it in the road ahead)
Comin’ Back to Me, Jefferson Airplane
The summer had inhaled and held its breath too long
The winter looked the same, as if it never had gone
And through an open window where no curtain hung
I saw you
I saw you
Comin’ back to me
One begins to read between the pages of a book
The shape of sleepy music, and suddenly you’re hooked
Through the rain upon the trees, the kisses on the run
I saw you
I saw you
Comin’ back to me
You came to stay and live my way
Scatter my love like leaves in the wind
You always say you won’t go away
But I know what it always has been
It always has been
A transparent dream beneath an occasional sigh
Most of the time I just let it go by
Now I wish it hadn’t begun
I saw you, yes, I saw you
Comin’ back to me
Strolling the hills overlooking the shore
I realized I’ve been there before
The shadow in the mist could have been anyone
I saw you
I saw you
Comin’ back to me
Small things like reasons are put in a jar
Whatever happened to wishes wished upon a star?
Was it just something that I made up for fun?
I saw you, I saw you comin’ back to me
“I’ll Feel a Whole Lot Better (When You’re Gone)” by the Byrds. Great song about asserting BOUNDARIES. Plus, deals with a devastating topic while leaving you feeling genuinely GOOD.
“After what you did / I can’t stay on
And I’ll probably feel a whole lot better /
When you’re gone”
Hell yeah.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KeKGPhcSPHk
“Pray For You”. Jaron Lowenstain (sp)
You just gave me the strength I need whenever I encounter my X-hypocritical bible thumpers!!! After years of dragging my kids to the in-law family reunions with sermons, prayer and condemnation (while my Ex “volunteered” to work those holiday weekends), I will gladly hold their hands and PRAY!!!!!!
The cheater mindset always makes me think of the song Paper Doll:
“I’d rather have a Paper Doll to call my own
Than have a fickle-minded real live girl“
https://youtu.be/HaMeSrynug0
Goodbye Stranger by Supertramp
It was an early morning yesterday
I was up before the dawn
And I really have enjoyed my stay
But I must be moving on
Like a king without a castle
Like a queen without a throne
I’m an early morning lover
And I must be moving on
Now I believe in what you say
Is the undisputed truth
But I have to have things my own way
To keep me in my youth
Like a ship without an anchor
Like a slave without a chain
Just the thought of those sweet ladies
Sends a shiver through my veins
And I will go on shining
Shining like brand new
I’ll never look behind me
My troubles will be few
Goodbye stranger it’s been nice
Hope you find your paradise
Tried to see your point of view
Hope your dreams will all come true
Goodbye Mary, goodbye Jane
Will we ever meet again
Feel no sorrow, feel no shame
Come tomorrow, feel no pain
Sweet devotion (Goodbye, Mary)
It’s not for me (Goodbye, Jane)
Just give me motion (Will we ever)
To set me free (Meet again?)
In the land and the ocean (Feel no sorrow)
Far away (Feel no shame)
It’s the life I’ve chosen (Come tomorrow)
Every day (Feel no pain)
So goodbye, Mary (Goodbye, Mary)
Goodbye, Jane (Goodbye, Jane)
Will we ever (Will we ever)
Meet again? (Meet again?)
Now some they do and some they don’t
And some you just can’t tell
And some they will and some they won’t
With some it’s just as well
You can laugh at my behaviour
And that’ll never bother me
Say the devil is my saviour
But I don’t pay no heed
And I will go on shining
Shining like brand new
I’ll never look behind me
My troubles will be few
Goodbye, stranger, it’s been nice
Hope you find your paradise
Tried to see your point of view
Hope your dreams will all come true
Goodbye, Mary, goodbye, Jane
Will we ever meet again?
Feel no sorrow, feel no shame
Come tomorrow, feel no pain
Sweet devotion (Goodbye, Mary)
It’s not for me (Goodbye, Jane)
Just give me motion (Will we ever)
To set me free (Meet again?)
In the land and the ocean (Feel no sorrow)
Far away (Feel no shame)
It’s the life I’ve chosen (Come tomorrow)
Every day (Feel no pain)
So now I’m leaving (Goodbye, Mary)
Got to go (Goodbye, Jane)
Hit the road (Will we ever)
I’ll say it once again (Meet again?)
Oh, yes, I’m leaving (Feel so sorrow)
Got to go (Feel no shame)
Got to go (Come tomorrow)
I’m sorry, I must dash (Feel no pain)
So goodbye, Mary (Goodbye, Mary)
Goodbye, Jane (Goodbye, Jane)
Will we ever (Will we ever)
Meet again? (Meet again?)
Oh, I’m leaving
I’ve got to go
Good choice NenaB, I’d forgotten about “Goodbye Stranger.”
For the chumps:
Quick by the magnetic fields
“ You better think of something quick before I don’t love you no more
Quick! Before I walk out that door
Quick! Before it all ends in jeers
What a waste of all those beers
You better think of something quick because my suitcase is packed
Quick! Because I’m through being attacked
Are you really prepared to lose
All this just to air your views?
We’re on the brink of something
Get me a drink of something
Quick! Between your outrageous remarks
Like the mating calls of sarcastic sharks
Quick! Before you can’t take that back
Just before it all goes black
You better think of something quick before the midnight bell chimes
You’re living in dangerous times
Torture me for your amusement
About who will pay the rent”
https://youtu.be/xDmw8bZWFhk
Dylan’s “Positively Fourth Street’s” last verse is where I’m finally at…
“I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes
And just for that one moment, I could be you
Yes, I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes
You’d know what a drag it is to see you”
You Lost Me by Christina Aguilera
I am done
Smoking gun
We’ve lost it all
The love is gone
She has won
Now its no fun
We’ve lost it all
The love is gone
And we had magic
And this is tragic
You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself
I feel like our world’s been infected,
And somehow you left me neglected
We’ve found our life’s been changed
Babe, you lost me
And though we tried
Oh how we cried
We lost ourselves
The love has died
And though we tried
You can’t deny
We’re left as shells
We lost the fight
And we had magic
And this is tragic
You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself
Oh, I feel like our world’s been infected
And somehow you left me neglected
We’ve found our life’s been changed
‘Cause babe, you lost me
Now I know you’re sorry
And we were sweet
But you chose lust when you deceived me
And you’ll regret it, but it’s too late
How can I ever trust you again?
I feel like our world’s been infected,
And somehow you left me neglected
We’ve found our life’s been changed
Oh babe, you lost me
This isn’t exactly a song about relationships, but it does a good job of describing how I am growing stronger after the betrayal.
I am woman by Helen Reddy
I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an’ pretend
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
And I’ve been down there on the floor
No one’s ever gonna keep me down again
Oh yes, I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
(Strong)
I am invincible
(Invincible)
I am woman
You can bend but never break me
‘Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
‘Cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul
Oh yes, I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
(Strong)
I am invincible
(Invincible)
I am woman
I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin’ arms across the land
But I’m still an embryo
With a long, long way to go
Until I make my brother understand
Oh yes, I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can face anything
I am strong
(Strong)
I am invincible
(Invincible)
I am woman
I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman
The song that helped me most:
“Murderer of Blue Skies” by Chris Cornell, with the best line ever: “I can’t wait to never be with you again.”
Others:
“If the Phone Doesn’t Ring It’s Me” by Jimmy Buffett
“Busy Being Fabulous” by the Eagles
“Take It On The Run” by REO SPEEDWAGON
Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from another you been messin’ around
They say you got a boy friend
You’re out late every weekend
They’re talkin’ about you and it’s bringin’ me down
But I know the neighborhood
And talk is cheap when the story is good
And the tales grow taller on down the line
But I’m telling you, babe
That I don’t think it’s true, babe
And even if it is keep this in mind
[Refrain:]
You take it on the run baby
If that’s the way you want it baby
Then I don’t want you around
I don’t believe it
Not for a minute
You’re under the gun so you take it on the run
You’re thinking up your white lies
You’re putting on your bedroom eyes
You say you’re coming home but you won’t say when
But I can feel it coming
If you leave tonight keep running
And you need never look back again
[Refrain x3]
Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from another you been messin’ around
A bona fide chump anthem (albeit not a very famous song) = “Fuck It” by Eamon
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ptcX5L8chVc&feature=youtu.be
“Fuck what I said it don’t mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses, they didn’t mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I don’t want you back!”
(Female chumps can modify the lyrics such as by substituting “hoe” with “douche” or “dick”, etc.)
Yes! Right after D-Day number whatever, we still stayed in the house together “for the kids sake”. When she decided to come home from “work” and walked through the door I had this song queued up and ready to play.
Others I would play in her presence were:
Big Sean-I Don’t Fuck with You!
Justin Timberlake- Cry Me A River & What Goes Around Comes Around
Blackbear-Do Re Mi & Dead to Me
Weeknd-Call out my Name
And also listened to a lot of Post Malone.
Music has been getting me through with what she has done.
Lmao! Excellent job at throwing some of that passive aggressive shit back at her!
“The Rain” by Oran “Juice” Jones
https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=9dZW1C3neao
The scene in the video when the chump confronts the cheater is nearly as dramatic as a soap opera/novella
This is a story that I have never told
I gotta get this off my chest to let it go
I need to take back the light inside you stole
You’re a criminal
And you steal like you’re a pro
All the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound
So ashamed so confused
I was broken and bruised
Now I’m a warrior
Now I’ve got thicker skin
I’m a warrior
I’m stronger than I’ve ever been
And my armor is made of steel, you can’t get in
I’m a warrior
And you can never hurt me again
Out of the ashes I’m burning like a fire
You can save your apologies, you’re nothing but a liar
I’ve got shame, I’ve got scars
That I will never show
I am a survivor
In more ways than you know
There’s a part of me I can’t get back
A little girl grew up too fast
All it took was once, I’ll never be the same
Now I’m taking back my life today
Nothing left that you can say
My armor is made of steel, you can’t get in
I’m a warrior
You can never hurt me again
Love this!
I’d have to change the name of the mouse though.
“I’m An Albatraoz” by Aronchupa
Mesdames et Messieurs
S’il vous plaît
Soyez prêt pour AronChupa et Albatraoz
C’est parti!
Let me tell you all a story
About a mouse named Lorry
Yeah, Lorry was a mouse
In a big brown house
She called herself the hoe
With the money money flow
But fuck that little mouse
‘Cause I’m an albatraoz
I’m an albatraoz
So what?
I’m an albatraoz
Yeah, Lorry said she was a mouse
Smoked that cheesn’ like a baoz
Monilie money money hoe
Chinka chinka chingka-flow
Yeah, Lorry was a witch,
Yeah, a sneaky little bitch
So fuck that little mouse
’cause I’m an albatraoz
I’m an albatraoz
So what?
I’m an albatraoz
Mesdames et Messieurs
S’il vous plaît
Soyez prêt pour AronChupa et Albatraoz
C’est parti!
I got it!
Ooh, I see ya, ooh, I see ya, ooh, I see ya
I’m an albatraoz
So what?
I’m, I’m, I’m…
Stop!
I got it
I’m an albatraoz
This is albatraoz, yeah
Chump feelings – Alanis Morriset You oughtta know, Johnny Lang Lie to me, Aaron Tippen Kiss This, and for Meh- Travis Tritt Here’s a quarter call some one who cares and JoDee Messina’s My Give a Damn’s Busted. Favorite line “If I won’t forgive you, you say your life is through, oh come on give me something I can use. I really want to care, I want to feel something, let me dig a little deeper, nope nothing. “
I didn’t listen to many songs from the cheaters perspective, but I found a few really great ones from the chumps, among my favorite are:
IDGAF – Dua Lipa
Fool – Fitz and the Tantrums
Money Grabber – Fitz and the Tantrums
You Suck At Love – Simple Plan
Well… there are a ton more.
I was going to list a great No Contact song by Dua Lipa–everybody’s heard it (and it’s the first song on my Energy For Housework playlist): New Rules
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClhLNUPqv8Q
Always loved The Wonderstuff, so I’ve always hoped this was written because it had happened to them, rather than that they had done it … but it’s eerily, creepily accurate.(Unfaithful)
“She left me once, she left me twice
She left me three times or more
But no, she didn’t leave me at all
It’s harder to smile when you’ve lied to a friend
But no, it’s not hard at all
So it’s back to the house and the wife and the kids
It’s high time that she realised
But no, no it doesn’t show
It was lucky I brought my disguise
Well if things never change I’ll be back there again
I dare say there’s some good in the bad
Deceit is a friend I’ve embraced him with ease
I missed out some of the chances I’ve had
So it’s back to the house and the wife and the lies
It’s high time that she realised
But no, no it doesn’t show
It was lucky I brought my disguise”
Gotta love Xtina… she’s spot on!!
Never saw it coming, all of your backstabbing
Just so you could cash in on a good thing before I’d realize your game
I heard you’re goin’ round playin’, the victim now
But don’t even begin feeling I’m the one to blame
‘Cause you dug your own grave
After all of the fights and the lies cause you’re wanting to haunt me
But that won’t work anymore, no more,
It’s over
‘Cause if it wasn’t for all of your torture
I wouldn’t know how to be this way now and never back down
So I want to say thank you
Cause it
‘Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter!
A great song. I’d just switch the gender in it to be about a cheating female, like my POS, fuckwit XW.
I am trying to cultivate the habit of loving myself. These two songs have helped me heal.
Option A-
Epiphany by BTS:
It’s so odd, I loved you so much for sure
I adapted myself entirely to you, I wanted to live for you
But as I kept doing so, I became unable to bear the storm inside my heart
I got to fully reveal my true self under the smiling mask
I’m the one I should love in this world
The shining me, the precious soul of mine
I realize only now, so I love me
Even if it’s a little lacking, it’s so beautiful
I’m the one I should love
(Even if I’m shaking and afraid, I walk on forward)
(I meet the real you, whom I had hidden inside the hurricane)
Why did I, like this,
Want to hide away my precious self
What was I so afraid of
That I had to hide my true self
I’m the one I should love in this world
My shining self, my precious soul
I finally realise it So I love me
Though I’m not perfect, I’m so beautiful
I’m the one I should love
I might be a little bit blunt and inadequate
You might not be able to see such things as a shy sparkle
But the fact that this version of me is my real self
My arms and legs, heart and soul that I have lived with until now
I want to love them in this world
The shining me, the precious soul of mine
I realize only now, so I love me
Though I’m not perfect, I’m so beautiful
I’m the one I should love
I’m the one I should love
I’m the one I should love
Luv the lyrics! Awesome to listen to songs about learning to love yourself instead of the negative. Unfortunately, my fo ro thoughts seem to remain mostly negative since divorce years ago (especially about relationships).
Is BTS the group’s name? Or does that stand for something?
*go to … not fo ro … oops lol
Option B-
Answer: Love Myself by BTS
Open your eyes in the dark
When your heart beats
Face to face, you in the mirror
There’s an old, frightened question
Maybe it’s better than loving someone
What’s more difficult is that I love myself
Let’s face it
The standards you’ve given me are more strict with you
A thick ring in your life
Because he is also part of you
Now I have to forgive myself
Our lives are long. Trust me in this maze
After winter, spring comes again
A cold stare
Hide me
It was a complete reversal
I fell down to get that many stars
I’m the one who targets those thousands of brilliant arrows
You’ve shown me I have reasons
I should love myself
Give me my breath
The me of yesterday, the me of today, the me of tomorrow
(I’m learning how to love myself)
Every last one of them is me
Maybe there’s no answer
Maybe this isn’t the answer either
You know, even if you love me
I needed someone’s permission
I’m still looking for my own
But I don’t want to die anymore
The sad me
The sick me
The more beautiful
Yeah, that beauty
I know
The way to my love
The most necessary thing
What you’re doing right now
Actions for me
An attitude toward me
It’s the happiness for me
I’ll show you what I’ve got
I’m not afraid. It’s my thing
Love myself
From the beginning
To the end
There’s only one answer
Why don’t you keep trying to hide it?
Every scar I made was my zodiac sign
You’ve shown me I have reasons
I should love myself
Give me my breath
Still in me
I’m clumsy, but…
You’ve shown me I have reasons
I should love myself
Give me my breath
The me of yesterday, the me of today, the me of tomorrow
(I’m learning how to love myself)
Every last one of them is me.
I’m late but I love these songs. The first one she wrote about her real cheating boyfriend that she dumped like a badass.
https://youtu.be/FSkNh9oMPUI
This one is a different viewpoint. She’s telling a would be cheating scumbag to bugger off, again, like a badass.
https://youtu.be/Zkj_NHie5LM
Enough is Enough (No More Tears) by Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer
I’ve always loved this song bc of my mother’s love of disco. But it took on new meaning after DDay.
The Party’s Iver
Willie Nelson
Turn out the lights
The party’s over
They say that all
Good things must end
Call it a night
The party’s over
And tomorrow starts
The same old thing again
What a crazy crazy party
Never seen so many people
Laughing dancing
Look at you, you’re having fun
But look at me
I’m almost cryin’
But that don’t keep her love from dyin’
Misery ’cause for me the party’s over
Turn out the lights
The party’s over
They say that all
Good things must end
Call it a night
The party’s over
And tomorrow starts
The same old thing again
Once I had a love undyin’
I didn’t keep it wouldn’t try it
Life for me was just one party
And then another
I broke her heart so many times
I had to have my parting wife
Then one day she said
Sweetheart the party’s over
Turn out the lights
The party’s over
They say that all
Good things must end
Call it a night
The party’s over
And tomorrow starts
The same old thing again
And tomorrow starts the same old thing again
Keane’s song Love Too Much. Shame, because before being chumped I would love this song, but after ex couldn’t tell the difference between infatuation and mature enduring love, this song just annoys me…
Only want to say that I gave it all I had
That I felt afraid and I didn’t step back
Whether right or wrong
I did everything with love
Felt it all
Gave it all
Drank it all
And we make mistakes
And they make us what we are
And we jump right in
And throw open our hearts
And we catch a glimpse of something magical
Want it all, take it all, got it all
Then we love too much
Or we push too hard
Or we fly too high
Or we go too far
For a moment I was all that you could see
For a moment I was all that I could be
Nothing can take that away from me
Nothing can take that away from me
And our purest dreams
Steal something from our lives
They can only live
Because something else dies
But they lift us up
And they make us walk so tall
Got it all, got it all, got it all
Then we love too much
Or we push too hard
Or we fly too high
Or we go too far
For a moment I was all that you could see
For a moment I was all that I could be
Nothing can take that away from me
Nothing can take that away from me
Nothing can take that away from me
Nothing can take that away from me
And the purest dreams
Well, they make us feel so high
When you’re falling down
Is when you feel most alive
Whether right or wrong
You do everything with love
Feel it all, give it all, drink it up
Then we love too much
Or we push too hard
Or we fly too high
Or we go too far
For a moment I was all that you could see
For a moment I was all that I could be
Nothing can take that away from me
Nothing can take that away from me
Nothing can take that away from me
Nothing can take that away from me
From Nancy Wilson:
You’re so late getting home from the office, Did you miss your train?
Where you caught in the rain?
No, don’t bother to explain.
Can I fix you a quick martini?
As a matter of fact
I’ll have one with you,
For to tell you the truth
I’ve had quite a day too!
Guess who I saw today, my dear!
I went in town to shop around
For something new,
And thought I’d stop and have a bite
When I was through.
I looked around for someplace near,
And it occurred to me
Where I had parked the car,
There is a most attractive French cafe
And bar.
It really wasn’t very far.
The waiter showed me to a dark,
Secluded corner,
And when my eyes became accustomed
To the gloom,
I saw two people at the bar
Who were so much in love,
That even I could spot it clear
Across the room.
Guess who I saw today, my dear!
I’ve never been so shocked before.
I headed blindly for the door.
They didn’t see me passing through,
Guess who I saw today? [Repeat: x3]
I saw you!
????????????
Brandi Carlisle “Every time I hear that song”
A love song was playing on the radio
It made me kind of sad because it made me think of you
And I wonder how you’re doing but I wish I didn’t care
Because I gave you all I had and got the worst of you
By the way, I forgive you
After all, maybe I should thank you
For giving me what I’ve found
‘Cause without you around
I’ve been doing just fine
Except for any time I hear that song
And Jack White “Effect and Cause”
I guess you have to have a problem if you want to invent a contraption
First you cause a train wreck, then they put me in traction
Well, first came an action and then a reaction
But you can’t switch around for your own satisfaction
Well, you burnt my house down and got mad at my reaction
Well, in every complicated situation of a human relation
Makin’ sense of it all takes a whole lot of concentration
Well, you can blame her baby for her pregnant ma
And if there’s one of these unavoidable laws
It’s that you just can’t take the effect and make it the cause
Well, you can’t take the effect and make it the cause
I didn’t rob a bank because you made up the law
Blame me for robbing Peter; don’t you blame Paul
Can’t take the effect and make it the cause
And also Bob Dylan “Positively 4th Street”-the last verse in particular:
I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes
And just for that one moment I could be you
Yes, I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes
You’d know what a drag it is to see you
I hear it in his voice, and I love the sentiment as well!
Castles by Freya Ridings – on my way to Meh.
You left my love, you hit the target
You got that rush and then you walk out the door
You kept me small, it’s what you wanted
I never noticed
You held my hand into the darkness
I didn’t care, it made me just want you more
My god, your love, it seems so harmless
I never noticed
And I hate that you’re gone
And I hate that I don’t wanna let go
And I hate that you think that I’m weak
‘Cause I don’t wanna let you know
I’m gonna build castles
From the rubble of your love
From the rubble of your love
I’m gonna be more than
You ever thought I was
You ever thought I was (ooh)
Each time you left, there was a hunger
I felt so dead, I couldn’t take anymore
Losing your love, it left me stronger
I never noticed
And I hate that you’re gone
And I hate that I don’t wanna let go
And I hate that you think that I’m weak
‘Cause I don’t wanna let you know
That I’m gonna build castles
From the rubble of your love
From the rubble of your love
I’m gonna be more than
You ever thought I was
You ever thought I was
That I’m gonna build castles
From the rubble of your love
From the rubble of your love
I’m gonna be more than
You ever thought I was
You ever thought I was, oh
Castles
The Smiths “Unhappy Birthday.”
This was especially relevant on Fuckup’s 50th birthday, which happened after I’d gone NC. Once upon a time, before Dday1, we’d been planning a big trip for it, like we’d done for his 40th. These lines are especially apt:
“I’ve come to wish you an unhappy birthday
I’ve come to wish you an unhappy birthday
‘Cause you’re evil
And you lie
And if you should die
I may feel slightly sad
But I won’t cry.”
Totally forgot about this song! I do not listen to “Strangeways Here We Come” enough… I always default to ” The Queen is Dead” or “Meat is Murder”. “Bigmouth Srikes Again” also has its appeal…
Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking
When I said I’d like to smash every tooth
In your head
Oh oh oh
Sweetness, sweetness, I was only joking
When I said by rights you
Should be bludgeoned in your bed
Off Topic but Depeche Mode in Rock Hall of Fame before The Smiths?!? What the hey!!
Die, die my Darling
The Misfits
Die, die, die my darling
Don’t utter a single word
Die, die, die my darling
Just shut your pretty mouth
I’ll be seeing you again
I’ll be seeing you in Hell
Don’t try to be a baby
Your future’s in an oblong box, yeah
Don’t try to be a baby
Should have seen it a-comin’ on
Don’t try to be a baby
I don’t know it was in your power
Don’t try to be a baby
Dead-end girl for a dead-end guy
Don’t try to be a baby
Now your life drains on the floor
Don’t try to be a baby
Die, die, die my darling
Don’t utter a single word
Die, die, die my darling
Just shut your pretty mouth
I’ll be seeing you again
I’ll be seeing you in Hell
Don’t try to be a baby
Your future is in an oblong box
Don’t try to be a baby
Should have seen the end a-comin’ on, a-comin’
Don’t try to be a baby
I don’t know it was in your power
Don’t try to be a baby
Dead-end girl for a dead-end guy
Don’t try to be a baby
Now your life drains on the floor
Don’t try to be a baby
Die, die, die my darling
Don’t utter a single word
Die, die, die my darling
Shut your pretty mouth
I’ll be seeing you again
I’ll be seeing you in Hell
Christina Perri “Jar of hearts”.
Who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTiyLuZOs1A
50 ways to leave your lover
Chump:
I thought you hung the moon and stars
I thought I was forever yours
In time we would grow old
With great memories, it would all unfold
But then you found another, who
Was your true soulmate, she completed you
My love became a bore
She offered you much more……
But in the end you are all alone
And I have a hot new boyfriend of my own
Snap
For those needing a punk rock boost, turn this one up (it’s short):
Bikini Kill- Double Dare Ya
Hey girlfriend
I got a proposition goes something like this:
Dare ya to do what you want
Dare ya to be who you will
Dare ya to cry right out loud
“You get so emotional baby”
Double dare ya, double dare ya, double dare ya
Girl fuckin’ friend yeah
Double dare ya
Double dare ya
Double dare ya
Girl
Don’t you talk out of line
Don’t go speaking out of your turn
Gotta listen to what the Man says
Time to make his stomach burn
Burn, burn, burn, burn
Double dare ya, double dare ya, double dare ya
Girl fuckin’ friend yeah
Double dare ya, double dare ya, double dare ya…
For a more alt-tempered, 00’s salty anthem…
Liz Phair- 6’1 (great album overall, with many references throughout)
I bet you fall in bed too easily
With the beautiful girls who are shyly brave
And you sell yourself as a man to save
But all the money in the world is not enough
I bet you’ve long since passed understanding
What it takes to be satisfied
You’re like a vine that keeps climbing higher
But all the money in the world is not enough
And all the bridges blown away keep floating up
It’s cold
And rough
And I kept standing six-feet-one
Instead of five-feet-two
And I loved my life
And I hated you
It’s cold out there
And rough
And I kept standing six-feet-one
Instead of five-feet-two
And I loved my life
And I hated you
Jimi Hendrix – Hey Joe
I’ve started listening to this again recently. Not for violence, but this is one of those few times in life when you can understand what’s being talked about, and why. Especially if you’re a guy. But change the gender, and I bet it would work for a lot of women, too.
Strong Enough by Cher
I hope you out your STBX to his church. He has no business holding any position in the church.
My STBX’s AP sings in her church’s choir ????????????. How do you stand up in church and hold your head high after being outed on social media? Easy if you have NPD!
From a long ago break up I loved “Anyone Who Had a Heart” by Burt Bacharach (Wynona Judd version) but it’s not angry enough to deal with STBX fuckwit! Being that I have a teenager, it’s Top 40 in the car and I jam out to Lizzo “Good as Hell” and Selena Gomez “Lose You to Love Me”. But when I’m home my go-to song is Pat Benatar “You Better Run”.
https://g.co/kgs/gVTGSz
Whatcha tryin’ to do to my heart
Whatcha tryin’ to do to my heart
You go around, tellin’ lies, and now you wanna compromise
Whatcha tryin’ to do to my heart
You better run, you better hide, you better leave from my side, yeah
Whatcha tryin’ to do to my soul
Whatcha tryin’ to do to my soul
Well everything I had is yours, and now I’m closin’ all the doors
Whatcha tryin’ to do to my soul
You better run, you better hide, you better leave from my side, yeah
I love you, oh I love you so, can’t you see, don’t you know
I can’t stand your alibis, you tell me lies, drive me wild, yeah
I say what are you tryin’ to do to my head
Say whatcha tryin’ to do to my head
Well now I’m gonna draw the line
‘Cause you ain’t gonna take my mind
What are you tryin’ to do to my head
You better run, you better hide, you better leave from my side
You better run, you better hide, you better leave from my side
I could yell, yeah
I said go away and leave me alone
I can’t stand you no more
Source: LyricFind
Frazey Ford’s gorgeous scathing break up anthem….DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXRrySTujn8
I was taking every hit from you
You drive-by shooting son of a bitch, and I’m done
Oh whoa, I’m done
Who told you that you could rewrite the rules, and do you
Really take me for a goddamn fool cause I’m done
Oh whoa, I’m done
[Chorus]
And you can drag me out before some authority
If that’s what you have to do to feel like you can punish me
But I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t keep the peace anymore
With your dogs, with your dogs, at my door
[Verse 2]
You’ve been puncing my weaknesses, slandering my name
You spent all your time trying to place your blame, and I’m done
Ohhh, I’m done
I used to think I hold the best parts of me
To sew the holes in your life and the cracks in your seams
And I’m done
Oh whoa, I’m done
[Bridge]
And I’m sorry that you don’t like your life
But I fought for my own victories and for the beauty in my life
My joy, my joy, my joy takes nothing from you
No, my joy, my joy, my joy takes nothing from you
[Guitar solo]
[Verse 3]
Well, you criticize my numbers, you hammer out the rules
Wait for me to fuck up, and find yourself some proof
And I’m done
Oh whoa, I’m done
You just soak in the hatred of a sorry line
Yeah, you hide behind decorum and a fake smile
And I’m done
Oh whoa, I’m done
[Chorus]
And you can drag me out before a judge and authorities
If that’s what you have to do to feel like you can punish me
But I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t keep the peace anymore
With your dogs, with your dogs, at my door
Well I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t keep the peace anymore
With your dogs, with your dogs, at my door
Chump getting Her power back via Yolanda Zumba class!!
Fuck’n punch that mf ! She help me get my power back!!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u3u22OYqFGo
Elements: Alison Sudol
You show up like a hurricane, all hungry-eyed and weather-stained
The clock forgets to tick and I the same
I died the day you disappeared, so why would you be welcome here?
Ride the wind that brought you back away
No you can’t come in
No you can’t come in
I cannot stop my rebel hands from pulling out the pots and pans
I left you in the cold until you shook
You’re gentle now, but I recall
Both tender fire and bitter squall
A history so deep it hurts to look
No you can’t come in
No you can’t come in
No you can’t
You can’t come in
If the sea should swallow up my house
I will turn my rooftop inside out and the wind will be wailing
But I will be sailing faster
Oh the elements I do not fear but I fall apart when you appear
‘Cause you are the greatest
The greatest disaster
If the sea should swallow up my house
I will turn my rooftop inside out and the wind will be wailing
But I will be sailing faster
My husband’s ho has this on her public playlist. I laughed when I saw it. Damn Right.
Miranda Lambert- More Like Her
She’s beautiful in her simple little way
She don’t have too much to say when she gets mad
She understands, she don’t let go of anything
Even when the pain gets really bad
I guess I should’ve been more like that
You had it all for a pretty little while
And somehow you made me smile when I was sad
You took a chance on a bruised and beaten heart
And then you realized you wanted what you had
I guess I should’ve been more like that
I should have held on to my pride
I should have never let you lie
I guess you got what you deserved
I guess I should’ve been more like her
Forgiving you, well, she’s stronger than I am
You don’t look much like a man from where I’m at
It’s plain to see desperation showed it’s truth
You love her, and she loves you with all she has
I guess I should’ve been more like that
I should have held on to my pride
I should have never let you lie
I guess you got what you deserved
I guess I should’ve been more like her
She’s beautiful in her simple little way
And a final barf-worthy song! Always hated this one.
Atlantic Star- Secret Lovers
Here we are the two of us together
Taking this crazy chance to be all alone
We both know that we should not be together
‘Cause if they found out
It could mess up, both our happy homes
I hate to think about us all meeting up together
As soon as I looked at you it would show on my face
Then they’ll know that we’ve been loving each other
They can never no, oh no, we can’t leave a trace
Secret Lovers that’s what we are, we shouldn’t be together
But we can’t let it go, oh no, cause we love each other so
Sittin at home I do nothing all day
But think about you and hope that your ok
Hoping you’ll call before anyone gets home
I’ll wait anxiously, alone by the phone
How could something so wrong be so right
I wish we didn’t have to keep our love out of sight
Living two lives just ain’t easy at all
But we gotta hang on and after fall
Secret lovers that’s what we are
Trying so hard to hide the way we feel
Cause we both belong to someone else
But we can’t let it go, cause what we feel is oh so real
So real
You and me, are we fair
Is this cruel, or do we care
Can they tell what’s in our minds
Maybe they’ve had secret love all of the time
In the middle of makin love we notice the time
We both get nervous cause it’s way after nine
Even though we hate it, we know it’s time that we go
We gotta be careful, so that no one will know
Secret lovers, that’s what we are
Trying so hard to hide the way we feel
‘Cause we both belong to someone else
But we can’t let it go
‘Cause what we feel is oh so real
So real
James Blunt- Over https://youtu.be/qBeR8byJy3w
James Blunt- She will always hate me
Aimee Mann- You never loved me
Shontelle- Impossible
Kelly Clarkson- Never Again
The Lumineers- Morning Song
Amy Winehouse – Back to Black (posted by the ho on her facebook after she was dumped)
Dean Lewis “It’ll Be Alright”
Also , ironically , Reo Speedwagon just released “High Infidelity” during my “D” period.
I needed to take very few liberties with Joey + Rory’s, “Cheater, Cheater.”
Cheater, cheater where’d you meet her–down at your favorite park?
Did she smile your way, twirl her hair and say how good your sermons are?
Did she use that line “Your place or mine?” while you’d run with her real slow?
Tell me cheater, cheater where all did ya meet that no good white trash ho?
Liar, liar did you buy her merlot all night long?
Did you hide your ring in the pocket of your jeans or did you just keep it on?
When the deed was done and you’d gone for a run did you think I wouldn’t know?
Tell me cheater, cheater where’d you meet that no good, white trash ho?
Now I’m the one to judge the one that slept in my own bed,
Yeah, to lay your hands on a preacher man is bout as low as a gal can get
Hey I wish her well as she rots in hell and you can tell her I said so
Cheater, cheater where all did ya meet that no good, white trash ho?
Loser, loser hope you love her cuz you’re stuck with her now
Take your sorry butt, load up all your stuff, and get the hell out of my house
But I just wish you’d tell me this one thing before you go
Cheater, cheater where all did ya meet that no good, white trash ho?
Now I’m the one to judge the one that slept in my own bed,
Yeah, to lay your hands on a married man is bout as low as a gal can get
Hey I wish her well as she rots in hell and you can tell her I said so
Cheater, cheater where all did ya meet that no good, white trash ho?
Yeah I just wish you’d tell me this one thing before you go
Cheater, cheater where all did you meet that low down, uptown, slept with every guy around, silicone implanted, no good, white trash ho?
I hope. By Gabby Barret.
Late to the.game. Loved this post
Better Man by Little Big Man https://youtu.be/ph9NQ8ASmX4
You https://youtu.be/pCwLsXZnFl4
You Lie The Band Perry
https://youtu.be/BmErRm-vApI
Say Something I’m Giving Up On You
Even later to the game (Chumplady catch-up on a Friday night – I know how to live!)
Dido sums up the conflict of the Hopium phase….(All You Want)
“I’d like to watch you sleep at night,
To hear you breathe by my side
And although sleep leaves me behind,
There’s nowhere I’d rather be
And now our bed is oh so cold,
My hands feel empty, no-one to hold
And I can sleep what side I want,
It’s not the same with you gone
Oh if you’d come home, I’ll let you know that
All you want, is right here in this room, all you want
And all you need, is sitting here with you, all you want
It’s been three years, one night apart,
But in that night you tore my heart
If only you had slept alone,
If those seeds had not been sown
Oh you could come home and you would know that
All you want, is right here in this room, all you want
All you need is sitting here with you, all you want
I hear your key turning in the door,
I won’t be hearing that sound anymore
And you and your sin can leave the way you just came in,
Send my regards to her
I hope you’ve found that
All you want, is right there in that room, all you want
All you need is sitting there with you, all you want
I’d like to watch you sleep at night,
To hear you breathe by my side”
But don’t worry, she gets to Meh eventually (Don’t Think of Me)
“So you’re with her, and not with me,
I hope she’s sweet, and so pretty
I hear she cooks delightfully,
A little angel beside you
So you’re with her, and not with me,
Oh how lucky one man can be
I hear your house is small and clean,
Oh how lovely with your homecoming queen
Oh how lovely it must be
When you see her sweet smile baby, don’t think of me
When she lays in your warm arms, don’t think of me
So you’re with her, and not with me,
I know she spreads sweet honey
In fact your best friend,
I heard he spent last night with her
Now how do you feel, how do you feel
When you see her sweet smile baby, don’t think of me
When she lays in your warm arms, don’t think of me
And it’s too late and it’s too bad, don’t think of me
Oh it’s too late and it’s too bad, don’t think of me
Does it bother you now all the mess I made
Does it bother you now the clothes you told me not to wear
Does it bother you now all the angry games we played
Does it bother you now when I’m not there
When you see her sweet smile baby, don’t think of me
When she lays in your warm arms, don’t think of me
And it’s too late and it’s too bad, don’t think of me
And it’s too late, and it’s too bad, don’t think of me.”
No Regrets – Robbie Williams
A real chump anthem is “dont make my brown eyes blue” by Crystal Gale
Dont tell me secrets – tell me some lies
Dont give me reasons – give me alibis
Tell me you love me – dont make me cry
Say anything just dont say goodbye
Didnt mean to make you sad
Didnt know just what we had
Say it isnt true
Dont make my brown eyes blue
Ok, I’m also very late to the game. Here goes some of my favorite chump songs:
Of course, The Long Run, by the Eagles
“Did you do it for love, did you do it for money?
Did you do it for spite, did you think you had to, honey?
Who is gonna make it? We’ll find out, in the long run…”
Think, by Aretha Franklin
You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine, by Lou Rawls
Ain’t That a Shame, by Fats Domino
Train in Vain, by the Clash
Clod as Ice, by Foreigner
The best for last, especially for male chumps.
Queen: Who Needs You, Save Me, Death on Two Legs, Love of My Life, and Another One Bites the Dust
Evil Woman, by ELO. Jeff Lynne knew what he was singing about, that’s for sure.
And finally, a few by Elvis Costello:
Every Day I Write The Book
“Said you’d stand by me in the middle of Chapter 3, but you were up to your old tricks in Chapters 4, 5 and 6…”
Heart Shaped Bruise
and of course, his song Alibi:
“
You did it ’cause you wanted, alibi, alibi
And you took it, ’cause you need it, alibi, alibi
But if I’ve done something wrong there’s no “ifs and buts”
‘Cause I love you just as much as I hate your guts
Alibi, alibi, alibi
And you don’t need anybody, alibi, alibi
But you are the only one that knows this, alibi, alibi
You deserve it, ’cause you’re special, alibi, alibi
Maybe Jesus wants you for a sunbeam, alibi, alibi
But if I’ve left something out, I apologize
But if you look in my eyes then I’m sure you’ll see
Alibis, alibis, alibis
Sometimes I’m so forgiving, oh-oh
Everything seems bad to me
But I can’t go on living, oh-oh
With this alibi, alibi, alibi
“Insane,” what a mundane alibi, alibi
And you only wanted to be famous, alibi, alibi
Sorry, but your mommy doesn’t love you, alibi, alibi
Stop me if you’ve heard this alibi, alibi
But if I’ve done something right then don’t be surprised
There are soldiers who will kill but refuse to die
But if I’ve done something wrong there’s no “ifs and buts”
‘Cause I love you just as much as I hate your guts
Alibi, alibi, alibi, alibi
You were weak, you couldn’t help it, alibi, alibi
But you never had a pony, alibi, alibi
But if I’ve left something out, I apologize
But if you look in my eyes then I’m sure you’ll see
Alibis, alibis, alibis
And you’re such a people person, alibi, alibi
And I will be true to you forever, alibi, alibi
But you’re stupid and you’re lazy, alibi, alibi
Maybe we can make the future better, alibi, alibi
But if I’ve done something wrong there’s no “ifs and buts”
‘Cause I love you just as much as I hate your guts
Alibi, alibi, alibi, alibi
Sometimes I’m so forgiving, oh-oh
Everything seems bad to me, oh
But I can’t go on living, oh-oh
With this alibi, alibi, alibi
You were happy, you were poor
And more honest and that’s your alibi, alibi
Sister is a whore, brother isn’t sure, alibi, alibi
You don’t fit the body that you’re trapped in, alibi, alibi
And papa’s got a brand-new alibi, alibi
But if I’ve done something wrong there’s no “ifs and buts”
‘Cause I love you just as much as I hate your guts
But if I’ve left something out, I apologize
But if you look in my eyes then I’m sure you’ll see
Alibis, alibis, alibis, alibis”
I can’t play this around my 14 year old son anymore. It’s too dark for him, and he’s heard it too often. I feel bad I exposed him to it too much. But it so fits my feelings about the POS XW (and her partner in certain parts, too.)
The fuckwit XW always claimed to be a music lover, but could never understand people using songs like this to deal w/heartache (like me). Thought doing that was immature. Boy, did I miss that red flag. No understanding, no compassion. Yipes.
Hoping we’re all healing out there. And surviving and thriving w/out these fuckwits in our lives. Hugs to all.
I forgot to add Elvis Costello’s version of George Jones’ “A Good Year for the Roses”.????