Stay in Touch

Check out CL's Book

Chump and Cheater Torch Songs

Dear Chump Lady,

What about a Friday Challenge where you give a couple examples of songs in which the lyrics are perfect summations of either

A) the feelings of the Chump

B) the mentality of the Cheater

So my example for B) would be the song “Sober” by TOOL

I am just a worthless liar
I am just an imbecile
I will only complicate you
Trust in me and fall as well
I will find a center in you
I will chew it up and leave
I will work to elevate you
Just enough to bring you down

FSW Mid Atlantic

Dear FSW,

Your wish is my command! The Friday Challenge is yours! My submissions are A) Dayna Kurtz “Not the Only Fool in Town

Says he’s working late, but he smells like Royal Crown

(Really, CN, check out this song. It’s my whole blog in one ballad.)

And B) rancid oatmeal. (Doesn’t make much of a sound.)

TGIF!

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at info@chumplady.com. Read more about submission guidelines.
  • Martin Briley’s Salt in My Tears:

    I never did it
    No I won’t admit it
    Why should I lie for you anymore?
    You never loved me
    You pushed and you shoved me
    I seen a woman I never saw
    I saw you laugh when the knife was twisted
    It still hurts but the pain has shifted
    I’m looking back at the time that drifted by
    But I won’t cry for the wasted years

    • I am an 80’s kid who had the mullet. Dedicated to my ex-wife and my ex-minister who was banging her during my marriage:

      AC/DC~~”Hell’s Bells”

      Hell’s Bells,
      Satan’s calling to you.
      Hell’s Bells,
      There’s nothing you can do.
      Hell’s Bells,
      He’s ringing the bells.
      Hell’s Bells,
      He’s going to take you to Hell.

    • Walker Hayes- You Broke Up with Me
      A

      (Original lyrics except for BOY and f*cked)
      Darlin’ you can’t crash my party with your ‘Sorry’s and ‘What Are We’s
      Don’t start rainin’ on my Mardi Gras parade for a minute
      I ain’t even fixin’ to listen to your guilt trippin’
      You’re forgettin’ BOY you made your bed and didn’t want me in it (Hey!)
      Woah BOY,simmer on down a notch
      Ain’t nobody making you watch me get my forget you on
      No BOY can’t touch my good as gold
      I know it’s difficult to see me on a roll
      But hey, you f*cked up with me
      Yeah, what can I say babe, you f*cked up with me

    • These lyrics:

      I changed the lock on my front door so you can’t see me anymore
      And you can’t come inside my house, and you can’t lie down on my couch
      I changed the lock on my front door
      I changed the number on my phone so you can’t call me up at home
      And you can’t say those things to me that make me fall down on my knees
      I changed the number on my phone
      I changed the kind of car I drive so you can’t see me when I go by
      And you can’t chase me up the street, and you can’t knock me off of my feet
      I changed the kind of car I drive
      I changed the kind of clothes I wear so you can’t find me anywhere
      And you can’t spot me in a crowd, and you can’t call my name out loud
      I changed the kind of clothes I wear
      I changed the tracks underneath the train so you can’t find me again…

  • Let’s see, for option A, I would go with K.Flay, Run for your life : “They tried to tell me I was lost in the forest like a cub with no mother when I actually was where I wanted. Bite off the venomous head, follow the chemical scent, look for the hole in the fence, take everything you demand, fast as you can and run for your life.”

    • And Option B would be Mindless Self Indulgence, 3AM “It’s 3AM, she wont put out let’s go make out with her friends, make out with her friend’s friends. Excuse me do you want to screw?”

  • How about ‘A LittleTime’ By The Beautiful South?

    Male/female cheater/chump interplay.

    Killer video and she even walks away ‘Mighty’ at the end

    https://youtu.be/i_-xYEilLg8

    I need a little time to think it over
    I need a little space just on my own
    I need a little time to find my freedom
    I need a little…

    Funny how quick the milk turns sour, isn’t it, isn’t it?
    Your face has been looking like that for hours, hasn’t it, hasn’t it?
    Promises, promises turn to dust
    Wedding bells just turn to rust
    Trust into mistrust

    I need a little room to find myself
    I need a little space to work it out
    I need a little room all alone
    I need a little…

    You need a little room for your big head, don’t you, don’t you?
    You need a little space for a thousand beds, won’t you, won’t you?
    Lips that promise, fear the worst
    Tongue so sharp, the bubble burst
    Just into unjust

    I’ve had a little time to find the truth
    Now I’ve had a little room to check what’s wrong
    I’ve had a little time, and I still love you
    I’ve had a little…

    You had a little time and you had a little fun, didn’t ya, didn’t you?
    While you had yours, do you think I had none, do you, do ya?
    The freedom that you wanted bad
    Is yours for good, I hope you’re glad
    Sad into un-sad…

    I had a little time to think it over
    Had a little room to work it out
    I found a little courage to call it off
    I’ve had a little time
    I’ve had a little time
    I’ve had a little time
    I’ve had a little time

    Or the classic.

    ‘God May Forgive You (But I Won’t)’ – Iris DeMent

    https://youtu.be/gc7RcVqJ6Gk

      • “Spinozapixel, so curious about your username! Why Spinoza?”

        Philosophical hero of mine. Spinoza held good and evil to be relative concepts; nothing is intrinsically ‘good’ or ‘bad’ except relative to a particularity. Argue ‘that things’ traditionally branded good or evil were simply good or bad for HUMANS. Posited a deterministic universe in which “All things in nature proceed from certain [definite] necessity and with the utmost perfection.” where nothing happens by chance.

        That’s for the cheaters who say “It just happened.”

        Pixel is named for Robert A. Heinlein’s “The Cat Who Walks Through Walls”.

        🙂

        • At the risk of revealing too much about myself, I wrote my dissertation on Spinoza ????

          Love the Spinozist response to “it just happened.”

  • Any song about cheating annoys me. I heard the song Your Love on the radio yesterday when I was cleaning the stalls. The song is very disturbing to me.
    Josie’s on vacation far away
    Come around and talk it over
    So many things that I want to say
    You know I like my girls a little bit older
    I just want to use your love tonight
    I don’t want to lose your love tonight

    • Yes. I heard this one the other day and was revolted by it once I actually paid attention to the lyrics. Ew.

      • Damn I had liked this song because it’s Rockies player Charlie Blackmon’s walk up music! I’ll just channel Charlie when I hear it and not the wasband!

    • CuzChump-I’m exactly the same way-and I’ll even add “romance” novels and movies that glamorize cheating.

      Before I was cheated on-Those things didn’t rub me the wrong way. Now-they irritate the shit out of me.

      • My ex got me to teach him how to play the riffs on guitar of “run to you” ….while he was cheating on me …his big fuck you to me….he s now bald… alone and looks 10 years older than he is ….asshat

      • I cannot stand that song. It was my exs workout song when he was “working on his fitness” phase. (Better known as his my girlfriend doesn’t like my gut phase.) That DVD went into my freedom bonfire along with the rest of the things he contaminated the day my divorce was final.

    • Bryan Adams and Run to You – OMG! Never listened to the words that closely until after D-day. Driving down a country road, singing along with it – realized what I was singing, nearly wound up in a ditch.

    • Sad, “Your Love” is a classic I liked, my teenagers too…they tell me they can’t stomach hearing it after their father did what he did. When I was a teenager when it came out, I didn’t think twice about the lyrics because my Dad (and/or mom) weren’t cheating assholes.

  • Let’s take a trip in the pop wayback machine to the summer of 1973. I dare anyone to find a more pathetic display of wretched, pathetic cheater self-centeredness as is found in “How Can I Tell Her” by Lobo (he of the immortal “Me and You and A Dog Named Boo”).

    Listen as a cheater extols the virtues of his chump, then begs his OW to take the bullet and do the dirty work for him.

    “How can I tell her I don’t miss her
    Whenever I am away
    How can I say it’s you I think of
    Every single night and day
    But when is it easy telling someone the truth
    Oh girl, help me tell her about you”

    https://youtu.be/9dEWOkGf3f0

    Close second: “Torn Between Two Lovers” by Mary MacGregor

    “There’s been another man that I’ve needed and I’ve loved
    But that doesn’t mean I love you less
    And he knows he can’t possess me and he knows he never will
    There’s just this empty place inside of me that only he can fill”

    • I remember hearing that in the car with my Dad when I was a little girl. He would get irritated with it and say it was a bad song. I remember wondering why? I just thought it was pretty. I think he explained it but I don’t remember quite getting it—- My parents are celebrating their 75th Anniversary in a couple of months 🙂

      • I hate that one too, glamorises cheating as having a steady but unexciting chump unknowingly pitted against ‘excitement’ of forbidden sex.

        • I never liked it. Then discovered (now) ex had included a YouTube link to the song in a text to the OW. Who was his (former) bestie’s wife. And she loved it. PS- she stuck with him right up until our divorce was done. I guess it’s not fun if it ain’t dirty.
          *shrug*

    • Before I became a chump, I listened to songs like these as an outsider and found them mildly irritating, as cheating or being cheated on wasn’t really on my radar and it seemed silly that someone would brag about being unfaithful. Now I find them completely nauseating and disgusting. The songwriters are grandstanding about having affairs and proudly exposing themselves as narcissists without a conscience. It seems that these songs are specifically written for cheaters and I am sure my ex wife loves them.

    • My girlfriend, my dumb donut
      Went out to a party just the other night
      But three hours later, and seven shots of Jager
      She was in the bedroom with another guy
      And I don’t really want to know
      So don’t tell me anymore
      And I really don’t want to hear
      About her feet all up in the air
      I’m not the one who acted like a ho
      Why must I be the one who has to know
      I’m not the one who messed up big time
      So spare me the details if you don’t mind
      Now I can understand
      Friends who want to tell me
      Think they’re gonna help me open up my eyes
      But the play-by-play
      Makes me want to lose it
      Every time you do it man it turns the knife
      Now I don’t need to hear
      About the sounds they were making
      And I don’t need to hear
      About how long it was taking
      Or how the walls they were shaking …

    • Don’t forget about Self Esteem, also by Offspring, for the chump side:

      I wrote her off for the tenth time today
      And practiced all the things I would say
      But she came over
      I lost my nerve
      I took her back and made her dessert
      Now I know I’m being used
      That’s okay because I like the abuse
      I know she’s playing with me
      That’s okay ’cause I’ve got no self-esteem
      We make plans to go out at night
      I wait till two then I turn out the light
      This rejection’s got me so low
      If she keeps it up I just might tell her so
      When she’s saying that she wants only me
      Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
      When she’s saying that I’m like a disease
      Then I wonder how much more I can spend
      Well I guess I should stick up for myself
      But I really think it’s better this way
      The more you suffer
      The more it shows you really care, right?
      Now I’ll relate this a little bit
      That happens more than I’d like to admit
      Late at night she knocks on my door
      She’s drunk again and looking to score
      Now I know I should say no
      But that’s kind of hard when she’s ready to go
      I may be dumb
      But I’m not a dweeb
      I’m just a sucker with no self-esteem

    • The songs, movies, & books that glorify cheating have ALWAYS bothered me. Even as a kid I found them disdainful.

      I never knew why exactly as, I didn’t know anyone who had ever cheated until my brother’s wife did when I was 15. After that, they totally disgusted me & a sour taste would form in my mouth when exposed to them.

      Interesting to realise the idea of cheating bothered me so much even when I was a child. By the time I was 16, I knew that if a guy ever physically hurt me or cheated on me, I would be out of there in an instant. I held firm to that belief & even told my xh that numerous times before marriage. How & why I ended up staying for 12 years after Dday, until Dday2, I’m still struggling to figure out. All I know is that I can’t forgive myself for not sticking my my deep rooted beliefs I swore to myself that I always would. Probably would make a good song. Woe is me.

      • I struggle with this as well. We are the frogs in a pot of water turned up to boil at our cheater’s pleasure. We’ve clawed are way out and our tending to our wounds. We have survived and now want to thrive. This shit it hard and takes time.

        I now realize that strength isn’t related to the pain inflicted on someone’s soul. My Ex & his Howorker were so abusive during the divorce because I could take it. And the stronger I was, the stronger the punches. My journey now is to help others during their divorce journey, understanding that a “strong” woman is just as vulnerable. Forgiving myself will help.

  • Not a very nice song, especially for the morning——

    https://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

    I don’t know why I feel the need to lie
    and cause you so much pain
    maybe it’s something inside
    maybe it’s something I can’t explain
    cause all I do
    is mess you up and lie to you
    I’m a liar
    if you’ll give me one more chance
    I swear that I will never lie to you again
    because now I see the destructive power of a lie
    they’re stronger than truth
    I can’t believe I ever hurt you
    I swear
    I will never to you lie again, please
    just give me one more chance
    I will never lie to you again
    I swear
    that I will never tell a lie
    no, no
    ha ha ha ha ha hah haa haa haa haaa
    sucker!
    I am a liar
    yeah, I am a liar
    yeah I like it
    I feel good
    ohh I am a liar

    • Oh Sweet Baby Jesus- WonderNo More-

      This video was so creepy and Real.
      That was MY life.

      That video was my life.

  • For Chump feelings, I recommend:

    Sleep to Dream by Fiona Apple: “I tell you how I feel but you don’t care. I say tell me the truth but you don’t dare. You say love is a hell you cannot bear, so give me mine back and then go there for all I care.”

    And The Giving Tree by Plain White T’s:

    All the leaves on the giving tree have fallen
    No shade to crawl in underneath
    I got scars from a pocket knife
    Where you carved your heart into me

    If all you wanted was love
    Why would you use me up
    Cut me down, build a boat, and sail away
    When all I wanted to be was your giving tree
    Settle down, build a home, and make you happy?

    I lie in the dead of night and I wonder
    Whose covers you’re between
    And it’s sad laying in his bed
    You feel hollow, so you crawl home back to me

    If all you wanted was love
    Why would you use me up
    Cut me down, build a boat, and sail away
    When all I wanted to be was your giving tree
    Settle down, build a home, and make you happy?

    • ‘The Giving Tree’…..yes! It’s a definite go to for me at certain times. That damn Adele…’When We Were Young.’ Uuuuughhhh! Then her song…’Send My Love to Your New Lover’ makes me sick.

  • I hope She Cheats- Gabby Barrett

    This goes out to my POS X

    I hope you both feel the sparks by the end of the drive
    I hope you know she’s the one by the end of the night
    I hope you never ever felt more free
    Tell your friends that you’re so happy
    I hope she comes along and wrecks every one of your plans
    I hope you spend your last dime to put a rock on her hand
    I hope she’s wilder than your wildest dreams
    She’s everything you’re ever gonna need
    And then I hope she cheats
    Like you did on me
    And then I hope she cheats
    Like you did on me
    Yeah babe, I hope she
    Shows up in a 2 AM pic from her friend
    Hanging on to a guy, and you just ain’t him
    I hope you stay up all night all alone waiting by the phone
    And then she calls
    And baby I
    I hope you work it out
    Forgive and just about forget
    And take her on a first date again
    And when you lean in for a kiss
    hope you both feel the sparks by the end of the drive
    I hope you know she’s the one by the end of the night
    I hope you never ever felt more free
    Tell your friends that you’re so happy
    I hope she comes along and wrecks every one of your plans
    I hope you spend your last dime to put a rock on her hand
    I hope she’s wilder than your wildest dreams
    She’s everything you’re ever gonna need
    And then I hope she cheats
    Like you did on me
    And then I hope she cheats
    Like you did on me

  • LOLO – Heard it From a Friend

    So
    When you gonna tell me you don’t want me no more
    Yeah I heard it from a friend who
    Heard it from a friend
    So
    When you gonna tell me you fucked me over
    Don’t you know that people watch
    Don’t you know that people talk
    So
    When you gonna tell me you don’t want me no more
    Ohh, don’t want me no more, ohh

    HONORABLE MENTION:
    ADELE – Rolling in the Deep, but covered by a scream-o band.

    SONGS I WISH EXISTED
    1+ year after DD and soon about to celebrate our one-year divorce anniversary:
    “Why is This Fat, Ugly Hobo Trying to Pretend That We’re Friends? Please Go Away.”

      • Amen to that. I can’t find the song, but it is by Adele and lyrics are about look away as she goes off with another. I know it because it is what the ex sent me before she went off with another. If anybody recognizes it let me know.

    • Rolling in the Deep helped me find strength through the worst parts after I was alone. I wonder if Leo Moracchioli covered it? *checks* Yes he did!

      And of course, Brand New Day from Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-Long Blog is very inspirational when you are hurting and angry.

      This appeared as a moral dilemma
      Cause at first it was weird though I swore to eliminate
      The worst of the plague that devoured humanity
      It’s true I was vague on the ‘How’
      So how can it be that you have shown me the light?

      It’s a brand new day
      And the sun is high
      All the birds are singing
      That you’re gonna die

      How I hesitated
      Now I wonder why
      It’s a brand new day

      All the times that you beat me unconscious I’ll forgive
      All the crimes incomplete, listen, honestly I’ll live
      Mr. Cool, Mr. Right, Mr. Know-it-all is through
      Now my future’s so bright and I owe it all to you
      who showed me the light

      It’s a brand new me
      I’ve got no remorse
      Now the water’s rising but I know the course
      I’m gonna shock the world
      Gonna show Bad Horse
      It’s a Brand New Day

      And Penny will see the evil me
      Not a joke, not a dork, not a failure
      And she may cry but her tears will dry
      When I hand her the keys to a shiny new Australia.

      It’s a brand new day
      Yeah the sun is high
      All the angels sing
      Because you’re gonna die

      Go ahead and laugh
      Yeah, I’m a funny guy
      Tell everyone goodbye
      It’s a brand new day

  • Take a bow by Rihanna

    “ Don’t tell me you’re sorry ’cause you’re not
    Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught

    But you put on quite a show
    You really had me goin’
    But now it’s time to go
    Curtain’s finally closin’
    That was quite a show
    Very entertaining
    But it’s over now
    (But it’s over now)
    Go on and take a bow, oh

    Grab your clothes and get gone (get gone)
    (You better hurry up)
    Before the sprinklers come on (come on)
    Talkin’ ’bout “Girl, I love you, you’re the one”
    This just looks like a re-run
    Please
    What else is on? Oh, oh”

    I seriously love this song. ????

    • Agreed! I played that song OVER and OVER again beginning shortly after DDay. I even considered taking voice lessons to try to learn to sing it well. (Kind of envisioning a karmic fantasy moment where I could be singing it @ karaoke and cheater happens to walk in while the crowd is going wild for my performance). LOL

  • Stupid things by Keane:
    And now it’s little lies and alibis
    And the second phone, can’t make it home
    I’m working late, you know I hate
    To miss the kids’ bedtime again
    I drank too much, a working lunch
    I’ll crash in town, so don’t wait up
    If I don’t text, my phone’s just dead
    I’ve got that thing, I’m sure I said
    And I know that you know and we both just play along
    Just one more stupid thing that I have done

  • Here’s one the sums up the Chump on D-day: “Forgive” by Rebecca Lynn Howard. First verse and chorus:

    I always said that that’d be it
    That I wouldn’t stick around
    If it ever came to this
    Yet here I am, so confused
    How am I supposed to leave
    When I can’t even move
    In the time it would’ve took to say
    ‘Honey I’m home, how was your day’
    You dropped a bomb right where we live
    And expected me to just forgive?

    Well, that’s a mighty big word
    For such a small man
    And I’m not sure I can
    ‘Cause I don’t even know now who I am
    And it’s too soon for me to say forgive

  • Another chump POV song

    Fleetwood Mac – Landslide
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM7-PYtXtJM

    I took my love, I took it down
    I climbed a mountain and I turned around
    And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills
    Where the landslide brought me down.

    Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
    Can the child within my heart rise above?
    Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
    Can I handle the seasons of my life?

    • If you like the 70’s (and I was married in 1979) don’t forget the cheater’s ode: Me & Mrs. Jones by Billy Paul. “Me and Mrs. Jones, we got a thing going on. We both know that it’s wrong…”

    • I just DID cry listening to that. Love Jim Croce. Same as you; I heard it as a kid, and it always affected me. Still does, obviously.

  • More of my faves (so many to choose from…I could do this for hours):

    Chump:
    “She Used To Be Mine” by Sara Bareilles
    “A Little Bit Stronger” by Sara Evans

    Fuckwit:
    “White Liar” by Miranda Lambert

    Chump to Fuckwit (ie, things I wish I had said to my fuckwit):
    “Jar of Hearts” by Christina Perri
    “Praying” by Kesha
    “Lose You to Love Me” by Selena Gomez

    • Miranda Lambert…. poster child for a narc cheater whore. I literally despise her. “It all comes out in the wash?” No it doesn’t!

      “Walk of shame?” No! Sorry, not sorry.

    • NotTodayFuckwit: I love both Sarah Bareilles and Christina Perri. Lots of great chump songs from both that are staples on my playlist. Christina Perri’s Butterfly, Bang Bang Bang, Run, The Lonely, Tragedy, Shot Me im the Heart, I Believe, Trust. Sarah Bareilles’ 1000 Times, Beautiful girl, Bluebird, Bright Nights and cityscapes, Gravity, Little Black Dress, Many the miles, Uncharted, She used to be mine, The Light, Between the lines, and several more from both. I cant recommend them highly enough. Check these two out.

  • For A. Meghan Trainor’s “Lips Are Movin”
    https://youtu.be/9ARUwZlDqrI

    An excerpt:
    You can buy me diamond earrings and deny
    But I smell her on your collar so goodbye

    I know you lie
    Cause your lips are movin’
    Baby do you think that I’m dumb!

    BTW, Stbx bought HER diamond earrings.

  • “Picture this we were both butt naked banging on the bathroom door”

    Shaggy’s advice about how to get out of being caught red handed: … “If she say a night, convince her say a day” and “It wasn’t me”

  • For the Chumps, pick me dance and d-day,

    Selena Gomez – Lose You to Love Me

    My 8yo daughter told me this song makes no sense. I laughed, maybe adults should learn a little from kids. lol

  • Beyoncé “me myself and I” https://music.apple.com/us/album/me-myself-and-i/201274359?i=201275913

    All the ladies, if you feel me, help me sing it out
    Here you go, trippin’
    Everything is cool between us Bey
    I told you that
    Out on the road with my people, just doin’ what I gotta do
    There’s nothing going that shouldn’t be goin’ on
    You gotta trust me, Ma

    [Verse 1]
    I can’t believe I believed everything we had would last
    So young and naive of me to think she was from your past
    Silly of me to dream of one day having your kids
    Love is so blind, it feels right when it’s wrong

    [Verse 2]
    I can’t believe I fell for your schemes, I’m smarter than that
    So dumb and naive to believe that with me you’re a changed man
    Foolish of me to compete when you cheat with loose women
    It took me some time, but now I moved on
    Because I realized I got

    [Chorus]
    Me, myself, and I
    That’s all I got in the end
    That’s what I found out
    And it ain’t no need to cry
    I took a vow that from now on, I’m gonna be my own best friend
    Me, myself, and I
    That’s all I got in the end

    • This song literally was on repeat play for 6 months and got me through the worst hell imaginable. It should be the CL theme song IMHO.

      • YAAAASSSS! Poor Bey, she’s definitely been chumped by Jay-Z multiple times…there’s also the song she wrote about him cheating on her with “Becky with the good hair” on her latest album, I think it’s called “Sorry.” It would be awesome if she would just dump Jay-Z once and for all – can’t tell you how many times people have used her as an example of someone who “was able to forgive” her husband’s affair(s)…F THAT NOISE.

        • It makes sense that she found this (Jay-Z) attractive given what a narc her father is. During interviews he refers to himself in the third person. He cheated on her mother for years.

  • Nine Inch Nails “Hurt”

    You can have it all!
    My empire of dirt
    I will let you down
    I will make you hurt.

    Makes me think about the “prize” of the pick me dance and the inevitable conclusion of wreckonciliation.

  • Here’s my chump song. I wrote it probably a month after the final D-Day, and it was instrumental in my healing, because writing it really helped me work through those feelings.

    https://photos.app.goo.gl/sH9grkZv5SWasBTn9

    Trail of Tears

    Miles and miles away from home, on my way to an unknown foreign land.
    There is not an end in sight although I look down that dusty road as far as I can see.

    Refrain:
    You’ve taken me from my home.
    A fever’s burning, but I’m shivering cold.
    I cry for mercy, but no one hears.
    How long must I walk?
    Trail of Tears.

    Will I make it to the end or lay my body in a shallow, unmarked grave.
    Either way it’s all the same, ’cause in your mind, I am nothing; just a memory.

    Two become one; two become one.
    One becomes two again.
    Promises made, promises broken, I gave you all I had to give.
    It wasn’t enough when said and done, so one becomes two again.
    Vanity sleeps in the bed of another, and I’ve no place to lay my head.

  • This has been my redemptive song on repeat- my MEH ANTHEM. blast it with me, friends! I forgot that you existed by Taylor Swift- I’m not usually a Swifty but this song slays!

    I forgot that you existed
    And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t
    And it was so nice
    So peaceful and quiet
    I forgot that you existed
    It isn’t love, it isn’t hate
    It’s just indifference

  • Dessa – Good Grief
    Kelly Clarkson – I Don’t Think About You

    Both songs got me through some tough, chumpy days. Love you CL and CN!

  • I might have different tastes than some others here lol.

    Submission A is “A Plot To Bomb the Panhandle” by A Day to Remember.

    Here’s a middle finger
    Coming straight from oca-l-a
    I appreciate your judgement
    It’s proved that I can’t trust a word you say
    Those must be some pair of binoculars
    That you see every move I make
    So I’ll never be a liar
    But you’ll always be two-faced
    You’ll get what’s coming to you
    You’re blinded by your instincts
    I’m not your fucking game
    I’m not so easily beat
    I’m looking down at this mess that you’ve made
    And I can’t believe that I stayed
    So unhappy for so long
    Where did I go wrong?
    I’ve got to get out of this
    My hand is on the handle
    We’re leaving everything behind
    Goodbye for a lifetime
    I’ll rip that scandalous bitch in two
    We’ll bring the noise
    Try to pretend that I never even knew your name
    ‘Cause everything you are disgusts me
    (Too bad I can’t turn back time)
    So I wouldn’t be here
    What I’d give for you to disappear
    So tell me girly how’s your edge?
    You’ve got nothing better to do
    I know why you can’t see straight
    I thought you were better than this
    But you’re just like everyone else
    I’m looking down at this mess that you’ve made
    And I can’t believe that I stayed
    So unhappy for so long
    Where did I go wrong?
    I’ve got to get out of this
    My hand is on the handle
    We’re leaving everything behind
    Goodbye for a lifetime

  • I Will Survive as sung by Gloria Gaynor

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARt9HV9T0w8

    At first I was afraid, I was petrified
    Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side
    But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
    And I grew strong
    And I learned how to get along
    And so you’re back
    From outer space
    I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
    I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key
    If I’d known for just one second you’d be back to bother me
    Go on now, go, walk out the door
    Just turn around now
    ‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore
    Weren’t you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
    Do you think I’d crumble
    Did you think I’d lay down and die?

    Oh no, not I, I will survive
    Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive
    I’ve got all my life to live
    And I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive
    I will survive, hey, hey

    It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
    Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
    And I spent oh-so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
    I used to cry
    But now I hold my head up high and you see me
    Somebody new
    I’m not that chained-up little person and still in love with you
    And so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free
    Well, now I’m saving all my lovin’ for someone who’s loving me
    Go on now, go, walk out the door
    Just turn around now
    ‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore
    Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with goodbye
    Do you think I’d crumble
    Did you think I’d lay down and die?

    Oh no, not I, I will survive
    Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive
    I’ve got all my life to live
    And I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive
    I will survive

    Oh
    Go on now, go, walk out the door
    Just turn around now
    ‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore
    Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with goodbye
    Do you think I’d crumble
    Did you think I’d lay down and die?

    Oh no, not I, I will survive
    Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive
    I’ve got all my life to live
    And I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive
    I will survive
    I will survive

  • Note: the song below is definitely NOT meh but rather about a wish of mine.
    Ex is the vainest man I know and has always been afraid of any imperfection. It would drive him batshit crazy to have half of a missing finger on each hand (I said it wasn’t meh!).

    The Knife Game Song by Rusty Cage:

    Oh, I have all my fingers
    The knife goes chop chop chop
    If I miss the spaces in-between my fingers will come off

    And if I hit my fingers
    The blood will soon come out
    But all the same I play this game cause that’s what it’s all about

    Oh, chop chop chop chop chop chop
    I’m picking up the speed
    And if I hit my fingers then my hand will start to bleed

  • https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QeTPNjPiyJM

    “They say every one should have their heart broken, at least once.
    That that is how you grow emotionally.
    Well, I have been misused by many many many men,
    But nothing can compare to how you treated me.
    At times it really felt as though the pain was here to stay.
    And though it’s many years ago, I feel it to this day.
    And now you wanna be my friend on Facebook
    Are you fuckin’ kidding me?
    All the memories are flooding back to me now.
    All the ways you stole the light from my eyes.
    I traveled so far just to get away from you!
    Till this mornings friend request surprise.
    At times it really felt as though I’d never smile again.
    You narcissistic ass hole, oh you nasty nasty man.
    And now you wanna be my friend on Facebook
    Are you fucking kidding?”

  • My anthem has been “That Old Pair of Jeans” by Fatboy Slim featuring Lateef the Truth Speaker.

    “All you used to do was put me down
    But I found a way to pick myself up off the ground
    And all you used to do was criticize me
    But now I found the good and I emphasize, ya see

    You would always get so sensitive
    And try to turn your transgressions into my guiltiness
    But now, I’m certain of the way I live
    And what I’m responsible for in this twisted game

    And it’s such a shame that you try to make pain
    Another word for my name, whether giving or receiving
    It’s one and the same, just one more link
    In your long-ass chain

    But it’s time to break this frame and my strengthful will
    Time to jump off this negative cycle we’ve built
    Gave my heart but my self-respect, you won’t steal
    Now, it’s time to let ya know if you can hear or feel me

    So, I asked my momma for her two cents
    And then I asked my little my sister and I asked my friend
    Then I asked my poppa once and I asked him again
    Came two little consensus from all them opinions

    That life is too short to be unhappy
    And since I know what I’m worth, there’ll be no settling for dirt
    Knowing what I deserve is gold
    If I want diamonds then I can’t settle for coal and

    Maybe I was just too strong to let go
    Maybe I was just too weak to let it show
    Maybe I was just too stubborn to say, “No”
    But whatever the case, I can’t take it no more

    Sometimes, I think maybe we’ll patch it all up
    Like a favorite pair of jeans that you won’t give up
    Or maybe one of these arguments we’ll make up
    And start again like when we started this up

    Back when everything was fresh and every moment, a blessing
    I’d laugh at all of your jokes, you’d listen to my suggestions
    One mind, one soul, one common destination
    Now, we can’t help but fight over the direction, so”

  • And this was on loop replay for drives home

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4cdZQ41rGAg
    Bang an Blame- REM
    “ If you could see yourself now, baby
    The tables have turned, the whole world hinges on your swings
    Your secret life of indiscreet discretions
    I’d turn the screw and leave the screen
    Don’t point your finger
    You know that’s not my thing
    You came to bang, bang, bang, bang, bang
    To blame, blame, blame
    Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang
    It’s not my thing, so let it go now”

  • These are all so great. For songs from the chump, I am convinced that Lucinda Williams had the misfortune of dating my ex in another life. Songs like “Greenville”, “Buttercup” and “Drunken Angel” are SO accurate in describing the narcissist who uses people up emotionally, physically and financially.

  • Funny how songs that I used to bob to with no real reflection now bother the heck out of me. Recently teenage son and I were watching The Guardians of the Galaxy (wonderful soundtrack!) and Escape (The Pina Colada song) came on. That song is about a married man who is bored in his relationship and decides to place a personal add. The person who answers turns out to be his wife and they end up laughing about the fact that they were both trying to screw around on each other.

    I used to love that tune. Now it irritates the hell out of me. Kid and I talked about how twisted that song actually is.

    • Or also Linda Ronstadt When Will I Be Loved?

      I’ve been cheated
      Been mistreated
      When will I be loved?

      I’ve been put down
      I’ve pushed round
      When will I be loved?

      When I find a new man
      That I want for mine
      He always breaks my heart in two
      It happens every time

  • Pink Floyd
    Comfortably Numb.
    When the trauma first hit it was like an illness
    This song describes it well. The last lines are
    The child is grown. The dream is gone. I have become comfortably numb.
    There is a live version on line. It is worth a listen.

    • YEEES! This is BRILLIANT!! A song about blame-shifting

      Well, first came an action and then a reaction
      But you can’t switch around for your own satisfaction
      Well, you burnt my house down and got mad at my reaction

      I ain’t the reason that you gave me no reason to return your call
      You built a house of cards and got shocked when you saw them fall
      Yeah, well, I ain’t saying I’m innocent – in fact, the reverse
      But if you’re headed to the grave, you don’t blame the hearse
      You’re like a little girl yelling at her brother ’cause you lost his ball, yeah

      Well, you keep blaming me for what you did, but that ain’t all
      The way you clean up the wreck is enough to give one pause
      Well, you seem to forget just how this all started
      I’m reacting to you because you left me broken-hearted
      See, you just can’t take the effect and make it the cause

  • If You Could Read My Mind, Gordon Lightfoot.

    The lyrics are a bit opaque. I had to look up what getting burned in a 3 way script meant to make sure I was interpreting it right.

    I really relate to the idea of suddenly being a ghost in your own life.

    And I always have this on a loop in my head:

    “I never knew I feel this way
    And I’ve got to say that I just don’t get it”

    Lyrics:

    If you could read my mind love
    What a tale my thoughts could tell
    Just like an old time movie
    About a ghost from a wishing well
    In a castle dark or a fortress strong
    With chains upon my feet
    You know that ghost is me
    And I will never be set free
    As long as I’m a ghost you can see
    If I could read your mind love
    What a tale your thoughts could tell
    Just like a paperback novel
    The kind the drugstore sells
    When you reach the part where the heartaches come
    Come the hero would be me
    Heroes often fail
    And you won’t read that book again
    Because the ending’s just to hard to take
    I walk away like a movie star
    Who gets burned in a three way script
    Enter number two, a movie queen
    To play the scene of bringing all the good things out in me
    But for now love let’s be real
    I never knew I feel this way
    And I’ve got to say that I just don’t get it
    I don’t know where we went wrong
    But the feeling’s gone and I just can’t get it back
    If you could read my mind love
    What a tale my thoughts could tell
    Just like an old time movie about a ghost from a wishing well
    In a castle dark or a fortress strong
    With chains upon my feet
    The story always ends
    And if you read between the lines
    You’ll know that I’m just trying to understand
    The feeling that you left
    I never knew I feel this way
    And I’ve got to say that I just don’t get it
    I don’t know where we went wrong
    But the feeling’s gone
    And I just can’t get it back

  • For the cheater:
    So Long, by The Nylons
    So long
    You don’t know where I’m going
    So long
    You know you done me wrong
    So long
    ‘Cause I know I’m all gone
    Goodbye
    You need to tell me why
    Goodbye
    You always make me cry
    Oh why
    Why you never satisfied
    Packing my bag and heading out
    Don’t know where or what about
    Taking a long forgotten trip
    Don’t know why I let it slip
    Well the way the world is now
    I don’t want to start a row
    Baby you won’t believe in love
    Wrote you some letters
    Oh, take care of yourself
    I’ll be checking in, oh later

    Did you ever have to make up your mind? By The Lovin’ Spoonful
    Did you ever have to make up your mind?
    And pick up on one and leave the other behind?
    It’s not often easy and not often kind.
    Did you ever have to make up your mind?

  • I made a youtube playlist, and called it “The Road to Meh”. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTwWoy9qryUQqKzoem8AsefjtvWvlWyil I started it soon after DDay in 2015 and updated it periodically (haven’t recently but I may have to add some of the great songs listed here that I didn’t know then :)). It’s mostly from the chump POV, and I tried to include the progression of feelings as time passed. I included Adele’s “Send my love to your new lover” because to me it is about letting go of it all and celebrating being set free, reaching Meh. I don’t necessarily agree with the “send my love…treat her better” part, because frankly I just don’t care about her or how she is treated, but that part of it doesn’t bother me.

    • Thanks for sharing this list. My mother died one day after your last update, so it definitely brings me back to realize how far I’ve come. Past is prologue. My DD#2 was April 2017 & D final in May 2018 (25 wedding anniversary). Working toward Meh………………

      And I take Adele “send my love….treat her better” to be dripping with sarcasm and a backhand for cheater to pass along to (in my case) Howorker. She knows what’s ahead for her!!!!!!!!

  • Don’t know if the blog sensors so I edited.

    Crowds by Bauhaus

    You worthless b***h
    You fickle s**t
    You would spit on me
    You would make me spit
    And when the Judas hour arrives
    And like the Jesus Jews you epitomize
    I’ll still be here as strong as you
    And I’ll walk away in spite of you

  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raRGnueg8Lo
    Lyrics
    I’m living without you
    But I know all about you
    I have run you down into the ground
    Spread disease about you over town
    I used to adore you
    I couldn’t control you
    There was nothing that I wouldn’t do
    To keep myself around and close to you
    Do you have an opinion?
    A mind of your own?
    I thought you were special
    I thought you should know
    But I’ve run out of patience
    I couldn’t care less
    I,
    I
    Do you have an opinion?
    A mind of your own?
    I thought you were special
    I thought you should know
    I used to amuse you
    But I knew that I’d lose you
    Now you’re here and begging for a chance
    But there’s no way in hell I’d take you back
    Do you have an opinion?
    A mind of your own?
    I thought you were special
    I thought you should know
    But I’ve run out of patience
    I’ve run out of comments
    I’m tired of the violence
    I couldn’t care less
    I’m looking for a new [Repeat: x4]
    You were the talk of the town [Repeat: x4]
    I thought you were special [Repeat: x4]

  • “Human” by Human League

    Come on, baby, dry your eyes
    Wipe your tears
    Never like to see you cry
    Won’t you please forgive me?

    I wouldn’t ever try to hurt you
    I just needed someone to hold me
    To fill the void while you were gone
    To fill this space of emptiness

    I’m only human of flesh and blood I’m made
    Human, born to make mistakes

    So many nights I longed to hold you
    So many times I looked and saw your face
    Nothing could change the way I feel
    No one else could ever take your place

    I’m only human of flesh and blood I’m made
    Human, born to make mistakes (I am just a man, human)

    Please forgive me

    The tears I cry aren’t tears of pain
    They’re only to hide my guilt and shame
    I forgive you, now I ask the same of you
    While we were apart I was human too

    I’m only human of flesh and blood I’m made (I am just a man)
    Human, born to make mistakes

  • For us Chumps. A little 80s synth pop from OMD “So In Love”

    Talk to me, don’t lie to me
    Save your breath
    Don’t look at me, don’t smile at me
    Just close your eyes
    I was so impressed by you
    I was running blind
    I would fall for every trick
    Every twist of mind
    Heaven is cold
    Without any soul
    It’s hard to believe
    I was so in love with you
    Don’t say your prayers, don’t build your hopes
    Just walk away
    Don’t phone me up, don’t call around
    Don’t waste your time
    You were so in awe of me
    You were so divine
    You would do just anything
    To still be mine
    Heaven is cold
    Without any soul
    It’s hard to believe
    I was so in love with you
    All the things you said to me
    I was so obsessed
    You were always talking, talking
    God, I did my best…”

    • Wow, I used to be a huge OMD fan and never realized what this song was about. Here’s another 80’s synth song, Depeche Mode’s Lie to Me. Back in the days when I was sending my XH angry emails, I told him this should have been our First Dance wedding song. lol. 🙂

      Come on and lay with me
      Come on and lie to me
      Tell me you love me
      Say I’m the only one

      Experiences have a lasting impression
      But words once spoken
      Don’t mean a lot now
      Belief is the way
      The way of the innocent
      And when I say innocent
      I should say naive
      So lie to me
      But do it with sincerity
      Make me listen
      Just for a minute
      Make me think
      There’s some truth in it

      Promises made for convenience
      Aren’t necessarily
      What we need
      Truth is a word
      That’s lost its meaning
      The truth has become
      Merely half-truth
      So lie to me
      Like they do it in the factory
      Make me think
      That at the end of the day
      Some great reward
      Will be coming my way

  • Can’t get the link right now but Halsey’s new song “You should be sad” is an excellent chump anthem – she said she purposely leaned into the country sound because it makes for the best petty breakup songs.

    Lyric sample:
    No you’re not half the man you think that you are
    And you can’t fill that hole inside of you with money, drugs and cars
    I’m so glad I never ever had a baby with you
    ‘Cause you can’t love nothing unless there’s something in it for you

    Fun fact – Halsey has been open about her struggles with infertility and has miscarried at least once, so if she’s telling the guy she’s glad she never had a kid with him, you can know how furious she is.

  • A) the feelings of a chump on her/his way to the state of meh, getting mighty every single day

    I dedicate this song to my XH the sociopath:

    I Don’t Care Anymore by Phil Colins

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeRDBPWK714

    Well you can tell everyone I’m a down disgrace
    Drag my name all over the place
    I don’t care anymore
    You can tell everybody ’bout the state I’m in
    You won’t catch me crying ’cause I just can’t win
    I don’t care anymore, I don’t care anymore

    I don’t care what you say
    I don’t play the same games you play

    ‘Cause I’ve been talking to the people that you call your friends
    And it seems to me there’s a means to and end
    They don’t care anymore
    And as for me I can sit here and bide my time
    I got nothing to lose if I speak my mind
    I don’t care anymore, I don’t care no more

    I don’t care what you say
    We never played by the same rules anyway
    I won’t be there anymore
    Get out of my way
    Let me by
    I got better things to do with my time
    I don’t care anymore, I don’t care anymore
    I don’t care anymore, I don’t care anymore

    Well, I don’t care now what you say
    ‘Cause every day I’m feeling fine with myself
    And I don’t care now what you say
    Hey, I’ll do alright by myself
    ‘Cause I know

    ‘Cause I remember all the times I tried so hard
    And you laughed in my face ’cause you held all the cards
    I don’t care anymore
    And I really ain’t bothered what you think of me
    ‘Cause all I want of you is just a let me be
    I don’t care anymore, d’you hear? I don’t care no more

    I don’t care what you say
    I never did believe you much anyway
    I won’t be there no more
    So get out of my way
    Let me by
    I got better things to do with my time
    I don’t care anymore
    D’you hear? I don’t care anymore
    I don’t care no more
    You listening? I don’t care no more
    No more!

  • I am so proud of a former (and talented) student of mine, who grabbed her mighty back from her cheater and made a freaking music video about it. She is one of the mightiest young women I know. Here is her video, which, she told me, was quite cathartic:

    • I’ve listened to this about five times. She’s so mighty! And talented! And cute! She’s learned a good life lesson early. She will go far. Thanks for sharing.

  • Bryan Adams-Run to You

    Blech this song still makes me sick to my stomach, it was popular on the radio when I first met my ex, and little did I know he was married. And it was playing in the background of our relationship, literally and figuratively. He didn’t tell me until the discard that I had been the OW in his first marriage. And then when I brought it up later, he said “I never said that”. He told me at the time that his marriage was already over. There were so many signs, I was so young and naive!

    She says her love for me could never die
    But that’d change if she ever found out about you and I
    Oh but her love is cold
    Wouldn’t hurt her if she didn’t know, ’cause
    When it gets too much
    I need to feel your touch
    I’m gonna run to you
    I’m gonna run to you
    ‘Cause when the feelin’s right I’m gonna run all night
    I’m gonna run to you

    She’s got a heart of gold, she’d never let me down
    But you’re the one that always turns me on
    You keep me comin’ ’round
    I know her love is true
    But it’s so damn easy makin’ love to you
    I got my mind made up
    I need to feel your touch

    • I didn’t know that’s what that song is about. I HATE it now. Disgusting how such despicable behavior is glamorized and romanticized. Like no one ever gets their heart ripped out because of the selfish actions of others.

  • “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood. I changed STBX’s contact info on my phone so that any time I get a phone call or text message from him, this song plays. I changed it after my first DDay years ago, when he was “attempting” to work things out. Of course, his definition of working things out was to start yet another affair, while I continued my Chumpdom. Somewhere inside I must have known it was BS, because I kept the ringtone the same. I especially like the last lines:
    I might have saved a little trouble for the next girl
    ‘Cause the next time that he cheats
    Oh, you know it won’t be on me!
    No, not on me

  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKL4X0PZz7M

    For A) My Silver Lining by First Aid Kit

    I don’t want to wait anymore I’m tired of looking for answers
    Take me some place where there’s music and there’s laughter
    I don’t know if I’m scared of dying but I’m scared of living too fast, too slow
    Regret, remorse, hold on, oh no I’ve got to go
    There’s no starting over, no new beginnings, time races on
    And you’ve just gotta keep on keeping on
    Gotta keep on going, looking straight out on the road
    Can’t worry ’bout what’s behind you or what’s coming for you further up the road
    I try not to hold on to what is gone, I try to do right what is wrong
    I try to keep on keeping on
    Yeah I just keep on keeping on

    • I am LOVING finding some of my faves here and feeling chumpy hugs for those of you sharing my songs (((((songstogetyouthru)))))

  • I can’t think why but I always seem to sing the ‘ hollow and of no use’ part of Driftwood by Travis with real feeling if I think about my ex.

    Driftwood by Travis

    Everything is open
    Nothing is set in stone
    Rivers turn to ocean
    Oceans tide you home
    Home is where your heart is
    But your heart had to roam
    Drifting over bridges
    Never to return
    Watching bridges burn

    You’re driftwood floating underwater
    Breaking into pieces, pieces, pieces.
    Just driftwood hollow and of no use
    Waterfalls will find you bind you grind you

    Nobody is an island
    Everyone has to go
    Pillars turn to butter
    Butterflying low
    Low is where your heart is
    But your heart has to grow
    Drifting under bridges
    Never with the flow

    And you really didn’t think it would happen
    But it really is the end of the line
    So I’m sorry that you turned to driftwood
    But you’ve been drifting for a long long time

    Everywhere there’s trouble
    Nowhere’s safe to go
    Pushes turn to shovel’s
    Shoveling the snow
    Frozen you have chosen
    The path you wish to go
    Drifting now forever
    And forever more
    Until you reach your shore…

  • Tracy Chapman Smoke and Ashes

    A great representation of both sides. Beautiful voice and music..

    I’d heard rumors and I’d heard talk
    About the trail you’d left of broken hearts
    About the sea of tears too wide to cross
    But a little bad press has never scared me off
    So I burned a path to figure out
    How to get me some of what you got

    I’ve got a red hot heart
    If the talk is true yours is the same
    We should be together
    And let our passions fan love’s flame, oh yeah

    When I looked for you I almost passed you by
    You were so cool and calm
    I thought my friends had lied
    But I thought so much reserve must make you wild inside
    It was there and then that I knew
    I had to get some of what you got

    I’ve got a red hot heart
    If the talk is true yours is the same
    We should be together
    And let our passions fan love’s flame, oh yeah

    I thought I’d won your heart when I held you hand in mine
    I thought it was true love the way we complemented each other
    But my right is your wrong
    And when you’re right then I’m left with nothing
    Your light and your heat have all been spent
    Leaving only smoke and ashes
    Only smoke and ashes baby

    I’ve got a red hot heart
    And your heart’s as blue as the blood in your veins
    I say there’s fire down below
    You say it’s only smoke and ashes baby

    I’m crying all the time
    Salty stinging tears
    And mourning for the past carbon-dated years
    But knowing now for certain that you were always right
    Because if a breeze could blow you out of my life
    It’s only smoke and ashes, baby
    Only smoke and ashes baby

    I’ve got a red hot heart
    And your heart’s as blue as the blood in your veins
    I say there’s fire down below
    You say it’s only smoke and ashes baby

    I was blinded by devotion
    My unwavering love for you
    So blinded that I thought all your lies were true
    But now I know for certain since you’ve gone away
    It was just a smoldering fire I mistook for a blaze
    Only smoke and ashes baby

  • For the Chump after dumping the cheater. This one always cheers me up.

    Ha Ha You’re Dead by Green Day

    How do you get your sleep at night?
    How did you get your noose so tight?
    Like chewing on tinfoil, it’s so much fun
    Gonna be dead before you’re gone

    Cause look how things have gotten
    And I’ll be happy so I won’t pretend
    And I’ll be cheering that you’re going down
    And I’ll be laughing, I’ll be laughing

    How many feelings can you steal?
    Gotta be part of your appeal
    I can see through you cause you’re wearing thin
    Like chewing on tinfoil once again

    Cause look how things have gotten
    And I’ll be happy so I won’t pretend
    And I’ll be cheering that you’re going down
    And I’ll be laughing

    Ha Ha you’re dead
    And I’m so happy
    In loving memory
    Of your demise

    When your ship is going down
    I’ll go out and paint the town
    Ha Ha you’re dead
    Ha Ha you’re dead
    Ha Ha you’re dead

    (repeat refrain)

    (ha ha ha)

    Ha Ha you’re dead
    The joke is over
    You were an asshole
    And now you’re gone
    As your ship is going down
    I’ll stand by and watch you drown
    Ha Ha you’re dead
    Ha Ha you’re dead
    Ha Ha you’re dead

    Ha Ha you’re dead
    You’re gonna be dead
    Just remember what I said
    Ha Ha you’re dead
    Ha Ha you’re dead
    Ha Ha you’re dead

  • For the chumps, “You’re So Cruel” by U2:

    We crossed the line
    Who pushed who over?
    It doesn’t matter to you
    It matters to me
    We’re cut adrift
    We’re still floating
    I’m only hanging on
    To watch you go down
    My love

    I disappeared in you
    You disappeared from me
    I gave you everything you ever wanted
    It wasn’t what you wanted
    The men who love you, you hate the most
    They pass through you like a ghost
    They look for you, but your spirit is in the air
    Baby, you’re nowhere

    Oh love
    You say in love there are no rules
    Oh love
    Sweetheart
    You’re so cruel

    Desperation is a tender trap
    It gets you every time
    You put your lips to her lips
    To stop the lie
    Her skin is pale like God’s only dove
    Screams like an angel for your love
    Then she makes you watch her from above
    And you need her like a drug

    Oh love
    You say in love there are no rules
    Oh love
    Sweetheart,
    You’re so cruel

    She wears my love like a see-through dress
    Her lips say one thing
    Her movements something else
    Oh love, like a screaming flower
    Love, dying every hour, love

    You don’t know if it’s fear or desire
    Danger the drug that takes you higher
    Head in heaven, fingers in the mire
    Her heart is racing, you can’t keep up
    The night is bleeding like a cut
    Between the horses of love and lust
    We are trampled
    Underfoot

    Oh love
    You say in love there are no rules
    Oh love
    Sweetheart,
    You’re so cruel

    Oh love
    To stay with you I’d be a fool
    Oh, huhh
    Sweetheart
    You’re so cruel

  • For the point of view of the chump, Katy Perry’s Wide Awake (great video too)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0BWlvnBmIE

    I’m wide awake
    I’m wide awake
    I’m wide awake
    Yeah, I was in the dark
    I was falling hard
    With an open heart
    I’m wide awake
    How did I read the stars so wrong
    I’m wide awake
    And now it’s clear to me
    That everything you see
    Ain’t always what it seems
    I’m wide awake
    Yeah, I was dreaming for so long
    I wish I knew then
    What I know now
    Wouldn’t dive in
    Wouldn’t bow down
    Gravity hurts
    You made it so sweet
    Till I woke up on
    On the concrete
    Falling from cloud nine
    Crashing from the high
    I’m letting go tonight
    I’m falling from cloud nine
    I’m wide awake
    Not losing any sleep
    Picked up every piece
    And landed on my feet
    I’m wide awake
    Need nothing to complete myself, no
    I’m wide awake
    Yeah, I am born again
    Out of the lion’s den
    I don’t have to pretend
    And it’s too late
    The story’s over now, the end
    I wish I knew then
    What I know now
    Wouldn’t dive in
    Wouldn’t bow down
    Gravity hurts
    You made it so sweet
    Till I woke up on
    On the concrete
    Falling from cloud nine
    Crashing from the high
    I’m letting go tonight
    I’m falling from cloud nine
    Thunder rumbling
    Castles crumbling
    I am trying to hold on
    God knows that I tried
    Seeing the bright side
    But I’m not blind anymore
    I’m wide awake
    I’m wide awake
    Falling from cloud nine
    Crashing from the high
    I’m letting go tonight
    I’m falling from cloud nine
    I’m wide awake
    I’m wide awake
    I’m wide awake
    I’m wide awake
    I’m wide awake

  • Definitely “Lose you to Love me” by Selena Gomez (has been mentioned a few times).

    “So What” by Pink.

    You weren’t there
    You never were
    You want it all
    But that’s not fair
    I gave you love
    I gave my all
    You weren’t there
    You let me fall
    So, so what?
    I’m still a rock star
    I got my rock moves
    And I don’t need you
    And guess what
    I’m having more fun
    And now that we’re done
    I’m gonna show you tonight
    I’m alright, I’m just fine
    And you’re a tool
    So, so what?
    I am a rock star
    I got my rock moves
    And I don’t want you tonight

    • “How do you Sleep?” by Sam Smith. He used to hold me every night during “wreckonciliation” and I never could figure out how he could so easily fall asleep. I could barely get three hours.

      I’m done hatin’ myself for feelin’
      I’m done cryin’ myself awake
      I’ve gotta leave and start the healin’
      But when you move like that, I just want to stay
      What have I become?
      Lookin’ through your phone now, oh, now
      Love to you is just a game
      Look what I’ve done
      Dialing up the numbers on you
      I don’t want my heart to break
      Baby, how do you sleep when you lie to me?
      All that shame and all that danger
      I’m hopin’ that my love will keep you up tonight
      Baby, how do you sleep when you lie to me?
      All that fear and all that pressure
      I’m hopin’ that my love will keep you up tonight
      Love will keep you up tonight
      (Tell me how do you)
      Oh no, how did I manage to lose me?
      I am not this desperate, not this crazy
      There’s no way I’m stickin’ ’round to find out
      I won’t lose like that, I won’t lose myself
      Look what I’ve done now
      Dialin’ up the numbers on you
      I don’t want my heart to break
      Baby, how do you sleep when you lie to me?
      All that shame and all that danger
      I’m hopin’ that my love will keep you up tonight
      Baby, how do you sleep when you lie to me?
      All that fear and all that pressure
      I’m hopin’ that my love will keep you up tonight

      • Yes, “How do you sleep?” speaks to me, as well. I’m also fond of another of his songs, “I’m not the only one.” I love it, but I can barely listen to it sometimes. You know he (or whoever wrote the song) has to have gone through this to write like this.

        You’ve been so unavailable
        Now sadly I know why
        Your heart is unobtainable
        Even though you don’t share mine
        You say I’m crazy
        ‘Cause you don’t think I know what you’ve done
        But when you call me baby
        I know I’m not the only one

  • “Cry me a River”
    Written by Authur Hamilton
    Sung by Ella Fitzgerald

    Now you say you’re lonely
    You cry the long night through
    Well, you can cry me a river
    Cry me a river
    I cried a river over you

    Now you say you’re sorry
    For being so untrue
    Well, you can cry me a river
    Cry me a river
    ‘Cause I cried, I cried, I cried a river over you

    You drove me, nearly drove me, out of my head
    While you never shed a tear
    Remember, I remember, all that you said?
    You told me love was too plebeian
    Told me you were through with me and

    And now you say, you say you love me
    Well, just to prove you do
    Come on and cry me a river
    Cry me a river
    ‘Cause I cried a river over you
    You drove me, nearly drove me, out of my head
    While you never shed a tear
    Remember, I remember, all that you said?
    Told me love was too plebeian
    Told me you were through with me and
    Now, now you say you love me
    Well, just to prove you do
    Come on and cry, cry, cry me a river
    Cry me a river
    ‘Cause I cried a river over you.

    • ^^This^^ I came here to post this.

      Fun bonus fact: this was my mother’s “fuck you” song about my father when they broke up one summer long before they were married. I don’t know the whole story…but, yeah.

  • Shortly after D-Day #2, I rediscovered “Temptation” by New Order, written from the perspective of a shallow, narcissistic cheater:

    “Heaven, a gateway, a hope
    Just like a feeling inside, it’s no joke
    And though it hurts me to see you this way
    Betrayed by words I’d never heard, too hard to say
    Up, down, turn around
    Please don’t let me hit the ground
    Tonight I think I’ll walk alone
    I’ll find myself as I go home…”

    and then, at the end of the song, it just repeats:
    “Oh, you’ve got green eyes
    Oh, you’ve got blue eyes
    Oh, you’ve got grey eyes…
    And I’ve never seen anyone quite like you before
    No, I’ve never met anyone quite like you before”

    I think this is a brilliant representation of my cheater STBX, who fell madly into bed with the first “strange” she met at a bar, and who likely could fall immediately in love with anybody who love bombs her enough that she can fill the huge gaping hold in her soul. Since we have kids together, I shudder to imagine which “green-eyed, blue-eyed, grey-eyed” people she might bring home after our divorce is final…so I’ll ask for pretty strong protections in that regard.

    • She’s Going to bring them home even with orders preventing it and getting a judge to honor orders is a joke. Mine is on woman 2 and he’s not supposed to move anyone in with out notifying me in writing 30 days in advance. Oh and we have been only divorced a year.

  • Long time reader, first comment.
    Used to listen to a public radio show about people in recovery from addiction called Magnificent Obsession. It came on at 5 or 6AM on Sunday and I was always up just to listen to it, it was that good. One morning, I heard a snippet of a song that was so unlike anything I would ever listen to and so meaningful, it was like a lightbulb going off in my head. I looked up the lyrics and tracked down the artist and even though it’s about about leaving a man over his addiction to alcohol, I find it applies to any time I’ve got to make a hard change.

    Lucy Kaplansky, One Good Reason

    Woke up scared in the middle of the night
    He reached for the bottle and turned on the light
    Looked at the clock, this can’t be right
    I’m not dreaming
    Turned on the tv and the radio
    Elvis rocked and Elvis rolled
    While Jesus on his radio show
    Said pack your bags, we’re leaving
    There’s a line I’ve crossed somewhere
    I left the best of me back there
    Never thoguht I’d end up here
    Guess all the best things disappear
    Whiskey is his water and it’s made in hell
    From the bottom of his barrel to the bottom of his well
    Nothing in this room but an empty shell
    And he’s not dreaming
    A drunkard’s regrets are a dime a dozen
    A thousand cures and a thousand poinsons
    Even Elvis couldn’t find one good reason
    To keep believing
    There’s a line I’ve crossed somewhere
    I left the best of me back there
    Never thoguht I’d end up here
    Guess all the best things disappear
    Guess she thought she had nothing to lose
    When she told him he had to choose
    Nice idea but they both knew
    That she’d be leaving
    Jesus said seek and you shall find
    He doesn’t think it’s true this time
    Some things you look for you never find
    Like one good reason
    There’s a line I’ve crossed somewhere
    I left the best of me back there
    Never thoguht I’d end up here
    Guess all the best things disappear

  • When going thru wreckonciliation…I can’t make you love me” by Bonnie Raitt used to tear me up.

    Turn down the lights
    Turn down the bed
    Turn down these voices inside my head
    Lay down with me
    Tell me no lies
    Just hold me close, don’t patronize
    Don’t patronize me
    ‘Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
    You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t
    Here in the dark, in these final hours
    I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
    But you won’t, no you won’t
    ‘Cause I can’t make you love me, if you don’t
    I’ll close my eyes, then I won’t see
    The love you don’t feel when you’re holding me
    Morning will come and I’ll do what’s right
    Just give me till then to give up this fight
    And I will give up this fight
    ‘Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
    You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t
    Here in the dark, in these final hours
    I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
    But you won’t, no you won’t
    ‘Cause I can’t make you love me,if You don’t

  • And “All Woman” was my get pissed, power anthem.

    He’s home again from another day
    She smiles at him as he walks through the door
    She wonders if it will be okay
    It’s hard for her when he doesn’t respond
    He says Babe, you look a mess
    You look dowdy in that dress
    It’s just not like it used to be
    Then she says
    I may not be a lady
    But I’m all woman
    From Monday to Sunday I work harder than you know
    I’m no classy lady
    But I’m all woman
    And this woman needs a little love
    To make her strong
    You’re not the only one
    She stands and lets the tears flow
    Tears that she’s been holding back so long
    She wonders where did all the loving go
    The love they used to share when they were strong
    She says yes I look a mess
    But I don’t love any less
    I thought you always thought of me
    To always be impressed
    I may not be a lady
    But I’m all woman
    From Monday to Sunday I work harder than you know
    I’m no classy lady
    But I’m all woman
    And this woman needs a little love
    To make her strong
    You’re not the only one
    He holds her and hangs his head in shame
    He doesn’t see her like he used to do
    He’s too wrapped up in working for his pay
    He hasn’t seen the pain he’s put her through
    Attention that he paid
    Just vanished in the haze
    He remembers how it used to be
    When he used to say
    You’ll always be a lady
    ‘Cause you’re all woman
    From Monday to Sunday I love you
    Much more than you know
    You’re a classy lady
    ‘Cause you’re all woman
    This woman needs a loving man to keep her warm
    You’re the only one
    You’re a classy lady
    ‘Cause you’re all woman
    So sweet the love that used to be
    So sweet the love that used to be
    We can be sweet again

  • And when I think of it, my fingers turn to fists
    I never did anything to you, man
    No matter what I try, you beat me with your bitter lies
    So call me crazy, hold me down
    Make me cry; get off now, baby
    It won’t be long till you’ll be lying limp in your own hands

    Thank you Fiona Apple for the image that keeps me going through the shit sandwich that currently is my life seeing Dr Narc’s pride and joy “limp in his own hands”!!!!!!!!

  • For the Foolish Cheater (excerpt from Yolanda by Bobby “Blue” Bland)

    I was wealthy and lonely when I met her
    Had a house, a job and a Cadillac
    A lovely wife, a beautiful daughter
    I lost them all when she called & I answered back

    Oh Yolanda
    Why you forsake me?
    Why you just lay, lay, lay my body down?
    Oh Yolanda
    Why did you leave me?
    In this wilderness with no money down

    A Chump Query and Anthem (excerpt from Hate on Me by Jill Scott)

    If I could give you the world
    On a silver platter
    Would even matter? You’d still be mad at me
    If I can find in all this a dozen roses
    Which I would give to you, you’d still be miserable
    In reality I’m gon’ be who I be
    And I don’t feel no faults for all the lies that you bought
    You can try as you may bring me down when I say
    That it ain’t up to you, go on do what you do
    Hate on me hater
    Now or later
    ‘Cause I’m gonna do me
    You’ll be made baby
    (Go head and hate)
    Go head and hate on me hater
    I’m not afraid of
    What I got I paid for
    You can hate on me

    Truth telling (excerpt from Fairytales by Anita Baker)

    I can remember stories, those things my mother said
    She told me fairy tales, before I went to bed
    She spoke of happy endings, then tucked me in real tight
    She turned my night light on, and kissed my face good night
    My mind would fill with visions, of perfect paradise
    She told me everything, she said he’d be so nice
    He’d ride up on his horse and, take me away one night
    I’d be so happy with him, we’d ride clean out of sight

    She never said that we would, curse, cry and scream and lie
    She never said that maybe, someday he’d say goodbye

    The story ends, as stories do
    Reality steps into view
    No longer living life in paradise-or fairy tales

  • One More – Before Gloria Gaynor (or maybe around the same time) there was another Queen – Linda Ronstandt (excerpt from You’re No Good)

    Feelin’ better now that we’re through
    Feelin’ better, ’cause I’m over you
    I learned my lesson, it left a scar
    Now I see how you really are

    You’re no good
    You’re no good
    You’re no good
    Baby, you’re no good

    I’m gonna say it again
    You’re no good
    You’re no good
    You’re no good
    Baby, you’re no good

  • My Favorite – For When You On Your Way to Meh – Golden by Jill Scott

    I’m taking my freedom, pulling it off the shelf
    Putting it on my chain, wearing it around my neck
    I’m taking my freedom, putting it in my car
    Wherever I choose to go it will take me far

    I’m living my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Golden

    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Golden

    I’m taking my own freedom, putting it in my song
    Singing loud and strong, groovin all day long
    I’m taking my own freedom, putting it in my stroll
    I’ll be high stepping y’all, letting the joy unfold

    I’m living my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Golden

    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Golden

    I’m holdin on to my freedom, can’t take it from me
    I was born into it, it comes naturally
    I’m strumming my own freedom in the god in me
    Reverence in his glory, hope he proud of me

    I’m living my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden
    Livin’ my life like its golden

  • Love this Friday thread!

    “The Pretender,” by the Foo Fighters. The music video is chilling, and so is the chorus. I remembered leaving my ex, about a year after things got really bad, the first time I heard it:

    What if I say you’re not like the others?
    What if I say I’m not another one of your plays?
    You’re the pretender
    What if I say that I will never surrender?

    • Best of You by the Foo Fighters is great too.

      Were you born to resist or be abused?
      Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

      I heard this song on the radio while driving with wasband in the car on our way to pick up kids shortly after discard day. The radio gods helped me out that day.

  • Truth Hurts by Lizzo

    Not everyone’s cup of tea, but Lizzo’s all about self love and self care, and I love her. And this song goes for anybody who’s a cheater, not just the male gender – why are they perfectly nice, until they gotta step up?

    Her other songs, especially Juice and Good as Hell are also good self-love anthems.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P00HMxdsVZI

    Why men great ’til they gotta be great?
    Woo

    I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% that bitch
    Even when I’m crying crazy
    Yeah, I got boy problems, that’s the human in me
    Bling bling, then I solve ’em, that’s the goddess in me

    You coulda had a bad bitch, non-committal
    Help you with your career just a little
    You’re ‘posed to hold me down, but you’re holding me back
    And that’s the sound of me not calling you back

    Why men great ’til they gotta be great?
    Don’t text me, tell it straight to my face
    Best friend sat me down in the salon chair
    Shampoo press, get you out of my hair
    Fresh photos with the bomb lighting
    New man on the Minnesota Vikings
    Truth hurts, needed something more exciting
    Bom bom bi dom bi dum bum bay

    You tried to break my heart?
    Oh, that breaks my heart
    That you thought you ever had it
    No, you ain’t from the start
    Hey, I’m glad you’re back with your bitch
    I mean who would wanna hide this?
    I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever be your side chick

    I put the sing in single
    Ain’t worried ’bout a ring on my finger
    So you can tell your friend, “shoot your shot” when you see ’em
    It’s OK, he already in my DMs

    Why men great ’til they gotta be great?
    Don’t text me, tell it straight to my face
    Best friend sat me down in the salon chair
    Shampoo press, get you out of my hair
    Fresh photos with the bomb lighting
    New man on the Minnesota Vikings
    Truth hurts, needed something more exciting
    Bom bom bi bom bi dum bum bay

    I’ma hit you back in a minute
    I don’t play tag, bitch, I been it
    We don’t fuck with lies, we don’t do goodbyes
    We just keep it pushing like aye yi yi

    I’ma hit you back in a minute
    I don’t play tag, bitch, I been it
    We don’t fuck with lies, we don’t do goodbyes
    We just keep it pushing like aye yi yi

    Why men great ’til they gotta be great?
    Don’t text me, tell it straight to my face
    Best friend sat me down in the salon chair
    Shampoo press, get you out of my hair
    Fresh photos with the bomb lighting
    New man on the Minnesota Vikings
    Truth hurts, needed something more exciting
    Bom bom bi bom bi dum bum bay

    • I’ma hit you back in a minute
      I don’t play tag, bitch, I been it
      We don’t fuck with lies, we don’t do goodbyes
      We just keep it pushing like aye yi yi

      That’s healthy boundaries right there – Lizzo’s not playing games or pick-me dancing.

    • OH HELL YES! “Good as Hell” is my anthem right now. Especially since during wreckonciliation, he kept saying how much he liked my T&A…. even said it in his sleep once. Think it’s because the OW doesn’t have one. Yup, fitter than me maybe but with no curves. Oh and much, much less attractive. BTW, I’m 5’4″ and 120lbs… and workout 6 days away. Justification anyone? Anyone?

      I do my hair toss
      Check my nails
      Baby how you feelin’?
      Feeling good as hell
      Hair toss
      Check my nails
      Baby how you feelin’?
      Feeling good as hell

      Woo child, tired of the bullshit
      Go on dust your shoulders off, keep it moving
      Yes Lord, tryna get some new shit
      In there, swimwear, going to the pool shit
      Come now, come dry your eyes
      You know you a star, you can touch the sky
      I know that it’s hard but you have to try
      If you need advice, let me simplify

      If he don’t love you anymore
      Just walk your fine ass out the door

      I do my hair toss
      Check my nails
      Baby how you feelin’?
      Feeling good as hell
      Hair toss
      Check my nails
      Baby how you feelin’?
      Feeling good as hell
      Feeling good as hell
      Baby how you feelin’?
      Feeling good as hell

      Woo girl, need to kick off your shoes
      Got to take a deep breath, time to focus on you
      All the big fights, long nights that you been through
      I got a bottle of tequila I been saving for you
      Boss up and change your life
      You can have it all, no sacrifice
      I know he did you wrong, we can make it right
      So go and let it all hang out tonight

      Cause he don’t love you anymore
      So walk your fine ass out the door

      And do your hair toss
      Check my nails
      Baby how you feelin’?
      Feeling good as hell
      Hair toss
      Check my nails
      Baby how you feelin’?
      Feeling good as hell
      Show it off tonight
      Hair toss
      Check my nails
      Baby how you feelin’?
      Feeling good as hell
      And we gon’ be alright
      Hair toss
      Check my nails
      Baby, how you feeling?
      (Feeling good as hell)

      Mmm, yeah
      Alright, listen

      If he don’t love you anymore
      Then walk your fine ass out the door

      And do your hair toss
      Check my nails
      Baby how you feelin’?
      Feeling good as hell
      Hair toss
      Check my nails
      Baby how you feelin’?
      Feeling good as hell
      Show it off tonight
      Hair toss
      Check my nails
      Baby how you feelin’?
      Feeling good as hell
      And we gon’ make it right
      Hair toss
      Check my nails
      Baby, how you feeling?

      (Feeling good as hell)
      Feeling good as hell
      Baby how you feelin’?
      Feeling good as hell

  • Before He Cheats…Carrie Underwood for a good ‘ole get him back fantasy. Lol

    In my case, this wasnt just a fantasy. Xh was on at least #5 (w/in 4 years). Several of them would turn to me for help when he started his crap w/them. (Ya, took me awhile to learn I couldn’t help anymore of his victims.)

    This victim (#5?) was pissed the 2nd or 3rd time he cheated on & dumped her. One day she just sent me the video of Before He Cheats. She didn’t write anything about it. I figured it was just her wishful thinking type thing.

    I found out the next day or two that xh’s fairly new & expensive vehicle had been keyed one night in his driveway. He thought it was probably her but couldn’t prove it.

    Illegal & not a good thing for someone to do no matter how scorned? Of course. Something similar to what I had fantasized about but would never have the guts to do? Absolutely. I didn’t have any actual (legal) proof who did it though. I just had a country video sent to me afterall. Lol

    • You would think that like the song says, maybe he would think the next time before he cheats after that happening. Nope. What he did instead was install a video recording security system around his house & on his vehicle. Cuz you know, cheating & emotionally abusing people isn’t illegal. But property destruction sure is. He has to protect his property because he pisses off & cheats on a lot of women & men!

  • I always hated that song “If you could read my mind” by Gordon lightfoot. He just sounds so narcissistic – referring to himself as a hero who failed. Seriously?

  • This was on the playlist for the first few months, when I was still in mourning for the relationship I though I’d had for 40 years (now, not at meh yet, but I can see it in the road ahead)

    Comin’ Back to Me, Jefferson Airplane

    The summer had inhaled and held its breath too long
    The winter looked the same, as if it never had gone
    And through an open window where no curtain hung
    I saw you
    I saw you
    Comin’ back to me
    One begins to read between the pages of a book
    The shape of sleepy music, and suddenly you’re hooked
    Through the rain upon the trees, the kisses on the run
    I saw you
    I saw you
    Comin’ back to me
    You came to stay and live my way
    Scatter my love like leaves in the wind
    You always say you won’t go away
    But I know what it always has been
    It always has been
    A transparent dream beneath an occasional sigh
    Most of the time I just let it go by
    Now I wish it hadn’t begun
    I saw you, yes, I saw you
    Comin’ back to me
    Strolling the hills overlooking the shore
    I realized I’ve been there before
    The shadow in the mist could have been anyone
    I saw you
    I saw you
    Comin’ back to me
    Small things like reasons are put in a jar
    Whatever happened to wishes wished upon a star?
    Was it just something that I made up for fun?
    I saw you, I saw you comin’ back to me

  • “I’ll Feel a Whole Lot Better (When You’re Gone)” by the Byrds. Great song about asserting BOUNDARIES. Plus, deals with a devastating topic while leaving you feeling genuinely GOOD.

    “After what you did / I can’t stay on
    And I’ll probably feel a whole lot better /
    When you’re gone”

    Hell yeah.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KeKGPhcSPHk

    • You just gave me the strength I need whenever I encounter my X-hypocritical bible thumpers!!! After years of dragging my kids to the in-law family reunions with sermons, prayer and condemnation (while my Ex “volunteered” to work those holiday weekends), I will gladly hold their hands and PRAY!!!!!!

  • Goodbye Stranger by Supertramp

    It was an early morning yesterday
    I was up before the dawn
    And I really have enjoyed my stay
    But I must be moving on
    Like a king without a castle
    Like a queen without a throne
    I’m an early morning lover
    And I must be moving on
    Now I believe in what you say
    Is the undisputed truth
    But I have to have things my own way
    To keep me in my youth
    Like a ship without an anchor
    Like a slave without a chain
    Just the thought of those sweet ladies
    Sends a shiver through my veins
    And I will go on shining
    Shining like brand new
    I’ll never look behind me
    My troubles will be few
    Goodbye stranger it’s been nice
    Hope you find your paradise
    Tried to see your point of view
    Hope your dreams will all come true
    Goodbye Mary, goodbye Jane
    Will we ever meet again
    Feel no sorrow, feel no shame
    Come tomorrow, feel no pain
    Sweet devotion (Goodbye, Mary)
    It’s not for me (Goodbye, Jane)
    Just give me motion (Will we ever)
    To set me free (Meet again?)
    In the land and the ocean (Feel no sorrow)
    Far away (Feel no shame)
    It’s the life I’ve chosen (Come tomorrow)
    Every day (Feel no pain)
    So goodbye, Mary (Goodbye, Mary)
    Goodbye, Jane (Goodbye, Jane)
    Will we ever (Will we ever)
    Meet again? (Meet again?)
    Now some they do and some they don’t
    And some you just can’t tell
    And some they will and some they won’t
    With some it’s just as well
    You can laugh at my behaviour
    And that’ll never bother me
    Say the devil is my saviour
    But I don’t pay no heed
    And I will go on shining
    Shining like brand new
    I’ll never look behind me
    My troubles will be few
    Goodbye, stranger, it’s been nice
    Hope you find your paradise
    Tried to see your point of view
    Hope your dreams will all come true
    Goodbye, Mary, goodbye, Jane
    Will we ever meet again?
    Feel no sorrow, feel no shame
    Come tomorrow, feel no pain
    Sweet devotion (Goodbye, Mary)
    It’s not for me (Goodbye, Jane)
    Just give me motion (Will we ever)
    To set me free (Meet again?)
    In the land and the ocean (Feel no sorrow)
    Far away (Feel no shame)
    It’s the life I’ve chosen (Come tomorrow)
    Every day (Feel no pain)
    So now I’m leaving (Goodbye, Mary)
    Got to go (Goodbye, Jane)
    Hit the road (Will we ever)
    I’ll say it once again (Meet again?)
    Oh, yes, I’m leaving (Feel so sorrow)
    Got to go (Feel no shame)
    Got to go (Come tomorrow)
    I’m sorry, I must dash (Feel no pain)
    So goodbye, Mary (Goodbye, Mary)
    Goodbye, Jane (Goodbye, Jane)
    Will we ever (Will we ever)
    Meet again? (Meet again?)
    Oh, I’m leaving
    I’ve got to go

  • For the chumps:

    Quick by the magnetic fields

    “ You better think of something quick before I don’t love you no more
    Quick! Before I walk out that door
    Quick! Before it all ends in jeers
    What a waste of all those beers

    You better think of something quick because my suitcase is packed
    Quick! Because I’m through being attacked
    Are you really prepared to lose
    All this just to air your views?

    We’re on the brink of something
    Get me a drink of something

    Quick! Between your outrageous remarks
    Like the mating calls of sarcastic sharks
    Quick! Before you can’t take that back
    Just before it all goes black

    You better think of something quick before the midnight bell chimes
    You’re living in dangerous times
    Torture me for your amusement
    About who will pay the rent”

    https://youtu.be/xDmw8bZWFhk

  • Dylan’s “Positively Fourth Street’s” last verse is where I’m finally at…

    “I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes
    And just for that one moment, I could be you
    Yes, I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes
    You’d know what a drag it is to see you”

  • You Lost Me by Christina Aguilera

    I am done
    Smoking gun
    We’ve lost it all
    The love is gone
    She has won
    Now its no fun
    We’ve lost it all
    The love is gone
    And we had magic
    And this is tragic
    You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself
    I feel like our world’s been infected,
    And somehow you left me neglected
    We’ve found our life’s been changed
    Babe, you lost me
    And though we tried
    Oh how we cried
    We lost ourselves
    The love has died
    And though we tried
    You can’t deny
    We’re left as shells
    We lost the fight
    And we had magic
    And this is tragic
    You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself
    Oh, I feel like our world’s been infected
    And somehow you left me neglected
    We’ve found our life’s been changed
    ‘Cause babe, you lost me
    Now I know you’re sorry
    And we were sweet
    But you chose lust when you deceived me
    And you’ll regret it, but it’s too late
    How can I ever trust you again?
    I feel like our world’s been infected,
    And somehow you left me neglected
    We’ve found our life’s been changed
    Oh babe, you lost me

  • This isn’t exactly a song about relationships, but it does a good job of describing how I am growing stronger after the betrayal.

    I am woman by Helen Reddy

    I am woman, hear me roar
    In numbers too big to ignore
    And I know too much to go back an’ pretend
    ‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
    And I’ve been down there on the floor
    No one’s ever gonna keep me down again
    Oh yes, I am wise
    But it’s wisdom born of pain
    Yes, I’ve paid the price
    But look how much I gained
    If I have to, I can do anything
    I am strong
    (Strong)
    I am invincible
    (Invincible)
    I am woman
    You can bend but never break me
    ‘Cause it only serves to make me
    More determined to achieve my final goal
    And I come back even stronger
    Not a novice any longer
    ‘Cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul
    Oh yes, I am wise
    But it’s wisdom born of pain
    Yes, I’ve paid the price
    But look how much I gained
    If I have to, I can do anything
    I am strong
    (Strong)
    I am invincible
    (Invincible)
    I am woman
    I am woman watch me grow
    See me standing toe to toe
    As I spread my lovin’ arms across the land
    But I’m still an embryo
    With a long, long way to go
    Until I make my brother understand
    Oh yes, I am wise
    But it’s wisdom born of pain
    Yes, I’ve paid the price
    But look how much I gained
    If I have to, I can face anything
    I am strong
    (Strong)
    I am invincible
    (Invincible)
    I am woman
    I am woman
    I am invincible
    I am strong
    I am woman
    I am invincible
    I am strong
    I am woman

  • The song that helped me most:
    “Murderer of Blue Skies” by Chris Cornell, with the best line ever: “I can’t wait to never be with you again.”

    Others:
    “If the Phone Doesn’t Ring It’s Me” by Jimmy Buffett

    “Busy Being Fabulous” by the Eagles

    • “Take It On The Run” by REO SPEEDWAGON

      Heard it from a friend who
      Heard it from a friend who
      Heard it from another you been messin’ around
      They say you got a boy friend
      You’re out late every weekend
      They’re talkin’ about you and it’s bringin’ me down
      But I know the neighborhood
      And talk is cheap when the story is good
      And the tales grow taller on down the line
      But I’m telling you, babe
      That I don’t think it’s true, babe
      And even if it is keep this in mind

      [Refrain:]
      You take it on the run baby
      If that’s the way you want it baby
      Then I don’t want you around
      I don’t believe it
      Not for a minute
      You’re under the gun so you take it on the run

      You’re thinking up your white lies
      You’re putting on your bedroom eyes
      You say you’re coming home but you won’t say when
      But I can feel it coming
      If you leave tonight keep running
      And you need never look back again

      [Refrain x3]

      Heard it from a friend who
      Heard it from a friend who
      Heard it from another you been messin’ around

  • A bona fide chump anthem (albeit not a very famous song) = “Fuck It” by Eamon

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ptcX5L8chVc&feature=youtu.be

    “Fuck what I said it don’t mean shit now
    Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
    Fuck all those kisses, they didn’t mean jack
    Fuck you, you hoe, I don’t want you back!”

    (Female chumps can modify the lyrics such as by substituting “hoe” with “douche” or “dick”, etc.)

    • Yes! Right after D-Day number whatever, we still stayed in the house together “for the kids sake”. When she decided to come home from “work” and walked through the door I had this song queued up and ready to play.
      Others I would play in her presence were:
      Big Sean-I Don’t Fuck with You!
      Justin Timberlake- Cry Me A River & What Goes Around Comes Around
      Blackbear-Do Re Mi & Dead to Me
      Weeknd-Call out my Name
      And also listened to a lot of Post Malone.

      Music has been getting me through with what she has done.

  • This is a story that I have never told
    I gotta get this off my chest to let it go
    I need to take back the light inside you stole
    You’re a criminal
    And you steal like you’re a pro

    All the pain and the truth
    I wear like a battle wound
    So ashamed so confused
    I was broken and bruised

    Now I’m a warrior
    Now I’ve got thicker skin
    I’m a warrior
    I’m stronger than I’ve ever been
    And my armor is made of steel, you can’t get in
    I’m a warrior
    And you can never hurt me again

    Out of the ashes I’m burning like a fire
    You can save your apologies, you’re nothing but a liar
    I’ve got shame, I’ve got scars
    That I will never show
    I am a survivor
    In more ways than you know

    There’s a part of me I can’t get back
    A little girl grew up too fast
    All it took was once, I’ll never be the same
    Now I’m taking back my life today
    Nothing left that you can say

    My armor is made of steel, you can’t get in
    I’m a warrior
    You can never hurt me again

  • I’d have to change the name of the mouse though.

    “I’m An Albatraoz” by Aronchupa

    Mesdames et Messieurs
    S’il vous plaît
    Soyez prêt pour AronChupa et Albatraoz
    C’est parti!

    Let me tell you all a story
    About a mouse named Lorry
    Yeah, Lorry was a mouse
    In a big brown house
    She called herself the hoe
    With the money money flow

    But fuck that little mouse
    ‘Cause I’m an albatraoz

    I’m an albatraoz
    So what?
    I’m an albatraoz

    Yeah, Lorry said she was a mouse
    Smoked that cheesn’ like a baoz
    Monilie money money hoe
    Chinka chinka chingka-flow

    Yeah, Lorry was a witch,
    Yeah, a sneaky little bitch

    So fuck that little mouse
    ’cause I’m an albatraoz

    I’m an albatraoz
    So what?
    I’m an albatraoz

    Mesdames et Messieurs
    S’il vous plaît
    Soyez prêt pour AronChupa et Albatraoz
    C’est parti!

    I got it!

    Ooh, I see ya, ooh, I see ya, ooh, I see ya

    I’m an albatraoz
    So what?
    I’m, I’m, I’m…
    Stop!
    I got it

    I’m an albatraoz
    This is albatraoz, yeah

  • Chump feelings – Alanis Morriset You oughtta know, Johnny Lang Lie to me, Aaron Tippen Kiss This, and for Meh- Travis Tritt Here’s a quarter call some one who cares and JoDee Messina’s My Give a Damn’s Busted. Favorite line “If I won’t forgive you, you say your life is through, oh come on give me something I can use. I really want to care, I want to feel something, let me dig a little deeper, nope nothing. “

  • I didn’t listen to many songs from the cheaters perspective, but I found a few really great ones from the chumps, among my favorite are:

    IDGAF – Dua Lipa
    Fool – Fitz and the Tantrums
    Money Grabber – Fitz and the Tantrums
    You Suck At Love – Simple Plan

    Well… there are a ton more.

    • Always loved The Wonderstuff, so I’ve always hoped this was written because it had happened to them, rather than that they had done it … but it’s eerily, creepily accurate.(Unfaithful)

      “She left me once, she left me twice
      She left me three times or more
      But no, she didn’t leave me at all
      It’s harder to smile when you’ve lied to a friend
      But no, it’s not hard at all

      So it’s back to the house and the wife and the kids
      It’s high time that she realised
      But no, no it doesn’t show
      It was lucky I brought my disguise

      Well if things never change I’ll be back there again
      I dare say there’s some good in the bad
      Deceit is a friend I’ve embraced him with ease
      I missed out some of the chances I’ve had

      So it’s back to the house and the wife and the lies
      It’s high time that she realised
      But no, no it doesn’t show
      It was lucky I brought my disguise”

  • Gotta love Xtina… she’s spot on!!

    Never saw it coming, all of your backstabbing
    Just so you could cash in on a good thing before I’d realize your game
    I heard you’re goin’ round playin’, the victim now
    But don’t even begin feeling I’m the one to blame
    ‘Cause you dug your own grave
    After all of the fights and the lies cause you’re wanting to haunt me
    But that won’t work anymore, no more,
    It’s over
    ‘Cause if it wasn’t for all of your torture
    I wouldn’t know how to be this way now and never back down
    So I want to say thank you
    Cause it
    ‘Cause it makes me that much stronger
    Makes me work a little bit harder
    It makes me that much wiser
    So thanks for making me a fighter
    Made me learn a little bit faster
    Made my skin a little bit thicker
    Makes me that much smarter
    So thanks for making me a fighter!

  • I am trying to cultivate the habit of loving myself. These two songs have helped me heal.
    Option A-
    Epiphany by BTS:

    It’s so odd, I loved you so much for sure
    I adapted myself entirely to you, I wanted to live for you
    But as I kept doing so, I became unable to bear the storm inside my heart
    I got to fully reveal my true self under the smiling mask

    I’m the one I should love in this world
    The shining me, the precious soul of mine
    I realize only now, so I love me
    Even if it’s a little lacking, it’s so beautiful

    I’m the one I should love
    (Even if I’m shaking and afraid, I walk on forward)
    (I meet the real you, whom I had hidden inside the hurricane)

    Why did I, like this,
    Want to hide away my precious self
    What was I so afraid of
    That I had to hide my true self

    I’m the one I should love in this world
    My shining self, my precious soul
    I finally realise it So I love me
    Though I’m not perfect, I’m so beautiful
    I’m the one I should love

    I might be a little bit blunt and inadequate
    You might not be able to see such things as a shy sparkle
    But the fact that this version of me is my real self
    My arms and legs, heart and soul that I have lived with until now

    I want to love them in this world
    The shining me, the precious soul of mine
    I realize only now, so I love me
    Though I’m not perfect, I’m so beautiful

    I’m the one I should love
    I’m the one I should love
    I’m the one I should love

    • Luv the lyrics! Awesome to listen to songs about learning to love yourself instead of the negative. Unfortunately, my fo ro thoughts seem to remain mostly negative since divorce years ago (especially about relationships).

      Is BTS the group’s name? Or does that stand for something?

  • Option B-
    Answer: Love Myself by BTS

    Open your eyes in the dark
    When your heart beats
    Face to face, you in the mirror
    There’s an old, frightened question

    Maybe it’s better than loving someone
    What’s more difficult is that I love myself
    Let’s face it
    The standards you’ve given me are more strict with you
    A thick ring in your life
    Because he is also part of you
    Now I have to forgive myself
    Our lives are long. Trust me in this maze
    After winter, spring comes again

    A cold stare
    Hide me
    It was a complete reversal

    I fell down to get that many stars
    I’m the one who targets those thousands of brilliant arrows

    You’ve shown me I have reasons
    I should love myself
    Give me my breath

    The me of yesterday, the me of today, the me of tomorrow
    (I’m learning how to love myself)
    Every last one of them is me

    Maybe there’s no answer
    Maybe this isn’t the answer either
    You know, even if you love me
    I needed someone’s permission
    I’m still looking for my own
    But I don’t want to die anymore
    The sad me
    The sick me
    The more beautiful

    Yeah, that beauty
    I know
    The way to my love
    The most necessary thing
    What you’re doing right now
    Actions for me
    An attitude toward me
    It’s the happiness for me
    I’ll show you what I’ve got
    I’m not afraid. It’s my thing
    Love myself

    From the beginning
    To the end
    There’s only one answer

    Why don’t you keep trying to hide it?
    Every scar I made was my zodiac sign

    You’ve shown me I have reasons
    I should love myself
    Give me my breath

    Still in me
    I’m clumsy, but…

    You’ve shown me I have reasons
    I should love myself
    Give me my breath

    The me of yesterday, the me of today, the me of tomorrow
    (I’m learning how to love myself)
    Every last one of them is me.

  • Enough is Enough (No More Tears) by Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer
    I’ve always loved this song bc of my mother’s love of disco. But it took on new meaning after DDay.

  • The Party’s Iver
    Willie Nelson

    Turn out the lights
    The party’s over
    They say that all
    Good things must end
    Call it a night
    The party’s over
    And tomorrow starts
    The same old thing again
    What a crazy crazy party
    Never seen so many people
    Laughing dancing
    Look at you, you’re having fun
    But look at me
    I’m almost cryin’
    But that don’t keep her love from dyin’
    Misery ’cause for me the party’s over
    Turn out the lights
    The party’s over
    They say that all
    Good things must end
    Call it a night
    The party’s over
    And tomorrow starts
    The same old thing again
    Once I had a love undyin’
    I didn’t keep it wouldn’t try it
    Life for me was just one party
    And then another
    I broke her heart so many times
    I had to have my parting wife
    Then one day she said
    Sweetheart the party’s over
    Turn out the lights
    The party’s over
    They say that all
    Good things must end
    Call it a night
    The party’s over
    And tomorrow starts
    The same old thing again
    And tomorrow starts the same old thing again

  • Keane’s song Love Too Much. Shame, because before being chumped I would love this song, but after ex couldn’t tell the difference between infatuation and mature enduring love, this song just annoys me…

    Only want to say that I gave it all I had
    That I felt afraid and I didn’t step back
    Whether right or wrong
    I did everything with love
    Felt it all
    Gave it all
    Drank it all
    And we make mistakes
    And they make us what we are
    And we jump right in
    And throw open our hearts
    And we catch a glimpse of something magical
    Want it all, take it all, got it all
    Then we love too much
    Or we push too hard
    Or we fly too high
    Or we go too far
    For a moment I was all that you could see
    For a moment I was all that I could be
    Nothing can take that away from me
    Nothing can take that away from me
    And our purest dreams
    Steal something from our lives
    They can only live
    Because something else dies
    But they lift us up
    And they make us walk so tall
    Got it all, got it all, got it all
    Then we love too much
    Or we push too hard
    Or we fly too high
    Or we go too far
    For a moment I was all that you could see
    For a moment I was all that I could be
    Nothing can take that away from me
    Nothing can take that away from me
    Nothing can take that away from me
    Nothing can take that away from me
    And the purest dreams
    Well, they make us feel so high
    When you’re falling down
    Is when you feel most alive
    Whether right or wrong
    You do everything with love
    Feel it all, give it all, drink it up
    Then we love too much
    Or we push too hard
    Or we fly too high
    Or we go too far
    For a moment I was all that you could see
    For a moment I was all that I could be
    Nothing can take that away from me
    Nothing can take that away from me
    Nothing can take that away from me
    Nothing can take that away from me

  • From Nancy Wilson:

    You’re so late getting home from the office, Did you miss your train?
    Where you caught in the rain?
    No, don’t bother to explain.
    Can I fix you a quick martini?
    As a matter of fact
    I’ll have one with you,
    For to tell you the truth
    I’ve had quite a day too!
    Guess who I saw today, my dear!
    I went in town to shop around
    For something new,
    And thought I’d stop and have a bite
    When I was through.
    I looked around for someplace near,
    And it occurred to me
    Where I had parked the car,
    There is a most attractive French cafe
    And bar.
    It really wasn’t very far.
    The waiter showed me to a dark,
    Secluded corner,
    And when my eyes became accustomed
    To the gloom,
    I saw two people at the bar
    Who were so much in love,
    That even I could spot it clear
    Across the room.
    Guess who I saw today, my dear!
    I’ve never been so shocked before.
    I headed blindly for the door.
    They didn’t see me passing through,
    Guess who I saw today? [Repeat: x3]
    I saw you!

  • Brandi Carlisle “Every time I hear that song”
    A love song was playing on the radio
    It made me kind of sad because it made me think of you
    And I wonder how you’re doing but I wish I didn’t care
    Because I gave you all I had and got the worst of you
    By the way, I forgive you
    After all, maybe I should thank you
    For giving me what I’ve found
    ‘Cause without you around
    I’ve been doing just fine
    Except for any time I hear that song

    And Jack White “Effect and Cause”
    I guess you have to have a problem if you want to invent a contraption
    First you cause a train wreck, then they put me in traction
    Well, first came an action and then a reaction
    But you can’t switch around for your own satisfaction
    Well, you burnt my house down and got mad at my reaction
    Well, in every complicated situation of a human relation
    Makin’ sense of it all takes a whole lot of concentration
    Well, you can blame her baby for her pregnant ma
    And if there’s one of these unavoidable laws
    It’s that you just can’t take the effect and make it the cause
    Well, you can’t take the effect and make it the cause
    I didn’t rob a bank because you made up the law
    Blame me for robbing Peter; don’t you blame Paul
    Can’t take the effect and make it the cause

  • And also Bob Dylan “Positively 4th Street”-the last verse in particular:
    I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes
    And just for that one moment I could be you
    Yes, I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes
    You’d know what a drag it is to see you

  • Castles by Freya Ridings – on my way to Meh.

    You left my love, you hit the target
    You got that rush and then you walk out the door
    You kept me small, it’s what you wanted
    I never noticed

    You held my hand into the darkness
    I didn’t care, it made me just want you more
    My god, your love, it seems so harmless
    I never noticed

    And I hate that you’re gone
    And I hate that I don’t wanna let go
    And I hate that you think that I’m weak
    ‘Cause I don’t wanna let you know

    I’m gonna build castles
    From the rubble of your love
    From the rubble of your love
    I’m gonna be more than
    You ever thought I was
    You ever thought I was (ooh)

    Each time you left, there was a hunger
    I felt so dead, I couldn’t take anymore
    Losing your love, it left me stronger
    I never noticed

    And I hate that you’re gone
    And I hate that I don’t wanna let go
    And I hate that you think that I’m weak
    ‘Cause I don’t wanna let you know

    That I’m gonna build castles
    From the rubble of your love
    From the rubble of your love
    I’m gonna be more than
    You ever thought I was
    You ever thought I was
    That I’m gonna build castles
    From the rubble of your love
    From the rubble of your love
    I’m gonna be more than
    You ever thought I was
    You ever thought I was, oh
    Castles

  • The Smiths “Unhappy Birthday.”

    This was especially relevant on Fuckup’s 50th birthday, which happened after I’d gone NC. Once upon a time, before Dday1, we’d been planning a big trip for it, like we’d done for his 40th. These lines are especially apt:

    “I’ve come to wish you an unhappy birthday
    I’ve come to wish you an unhappy birthday
    ‘Cause you’re evil
    And you lie
    And if you should die
    I may feel slightly sad
    But I won’t cry.”

    • Totally forgot about this song! I do not listen to “Strangeways Here We Come” enough… I always default to ” The Queen is Dead” or “Meat is Murder”. “Bigmouth Srikes Again” also has its appeal…

      Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking
      When I said I’d like to smash every tooth
      In your head
      Oh oh oh
      Sweetness, sweetness, I was only joking
      When I said by rights you
      Should be bludgeoned in your bed

      Off Topic but Depeche Mode in Rock Hall of Fame before The Smiths?!? What the hey!!

  • Die, die my Darling
    The Misfits

    Die, die, die my darling
    Don’t utter a single word
    Die, die, die my darling
    Just shut your pretty mouth
    I’ll be seeing you again
    I’ll be seeing you in Hell

    Don’t try to be a baby
    Your future’s in an oblong box, yeah
    Don’t try to be a baby
    Should have seen it a-comin’ on
    Don’t try to be a baby
    I don’t know it was in your power
    Don’t try to be a baby
    Dead-end girl for a dead-end guy
    Don’t try to be a baby
    Now your life drains on the floor
    Don’t try to be a baby

    Die, die, die my darling
    Don’t utter a single word
    Die, die, die my darling
    Just shut your pretty mouth
    I’ll be seeing you again
    I’ll be seeing you in Hell

    Don’t try to be a baby
    Your future is in an oblong box
    Don’t try to be a baby
    Should have seen the end a-comin’ on, a-comin’
    Don’t try to be a baby
    I don’t know it was in your power
    Don’t try to be a baby
    Dead-end girl for a dead-end guy
    Don’t try to be a baby
    Now your life drains on the floor
    Don’t try to be a baby

    Die, die, die my darling
    Don’t utter a single word
    Die, die, die my darling
    Shut your pretty mouth
    I’ll be seeing you again
    I’ll be seeing you in Hell

    • Who do you think you are?
      Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
      Collecting your jar of hearts
      Tearing love apart
      You’re gonna catch a cold
      From the ice inside your soul
      Don’t come back for me
      Don’t come back at all
      Who do you think you are?
      Who do you think you are?
      Who do you think you are?

  • Chump:

    I thought you hung the moon and stars
    I thought I was forever yours

    In time we would grow old
    With great memories, it would all unfold

    But then you found another, who
    Was your true soulmate, she completed you

    My love became a bore
    She offered you much more……

    But in the end you are all alone
    And I have a hot new boyfriend of my own

    Snap

  • For those needing a punk rock boost, turn this one up (it’s short):
    Bikini Kill- Double Dare Ya

    Hey girlfriend
    I got a proposition goes something like this:
    Dare ya to do what you want
    Dare ya to be who you will
    Dare ya to cry right out loud
    “You get so emotional baby”
    Double dare ya, double dare ya, double dare ya
    Girl fuckin’ friend yeah
    Double dare ya
    Double dare ya
    Double dare ya
    Girl
    Don’t you talk out of line
    Don’t go speaking out of your turn
    Gotta listen to what the Man says
    Time to make his stomach burn
    Burn, burn, burn, burn
    Double dare ya, double dare ya, double dare ya
    Girl fuckin’ friend yeah
    Double dare ya, double dare ya, double dare ya…

    For a more alt-tempered, 00’s salty anthem…
    Liz Phair- 6’1 (great album overall, with many references throughout)

    I bet you fall in bed too easily
    With the beautiful girls who are shyly brave
    And you sell yourself as a man to save
    But all the money in the world is not enough

    I bet you’ve long since passed understanding
    What it takes to be satisfied
    You’re like a vine that keeps climbing higher
    But all the money in the world is not enough

    And all the bridges blown away keep floating up

    It’s cold
    And rough

    And I kept standing six-feet-one
    Instead of five-feet-two

    And I loved my life
    And I hated you

    It’s cold out there
    And rough

    And I kept standing six-feet-one
    Instead of five-feet-two

    And I loved my life
    And I hated you

    • I’ve started listening to this again recently. Not for violence, but this is one of those few times in life when you can understand what’s being talked about, and why. Especially if you’re a guy. But change the gender, and I bet it would work for a lot of women, too.

    • My STBX’s AP sings in her church’s choir ????????????. How do you stand up in church and hold your head high after being outed on social media? Easy if you have NPD!

  • From a long ago break up I loved “Anyone Who Had a Heart” by Burt Bacharach (Wynona Judd version) but it’s not angry enough to deal with STBX fuckwit! Being that I have a teenager, it’s Top 40 in the car and I jam out to Lizzo “Good as Hell” and Selena Gomez “Lose You to Love Me”. But when I’m home my go-to song is Pat Benatar “You Better Run”.

    https://g.co/kgs/gVTGSz

    Whatcha tryin’ to do to my heart
    Whatcha tryin’ to do to my heart
    You go around, tellin’ lies, and now you wanna compromise
    Whatcha tryin’ to do to my heart
    You better run, you better hide, you better leave from my side, yeah
    Whatcha tryin’ to do to my soul
    Whatcha tryin’ to do to my soul
    Well everything I had is yours, and now I’m closin’ all the doors
    Whatcha tryin’ to do to my soul
    You better run, you better hide, you better leave from my side, yeah
    I love you, oh I love you so, can’t you see, don’t you know
    I can’t stand your alibis, you tell me lies, drive me wild, yeah
    I say what are you tryin’ to do to my head
    Say whatcha tryin’ to do to my head
    Well now I’m gonna draw the line
    ‘Cause you ain’t gonna take my mind
    What are you tryin’ to do to my head
    You better run, you better hide, you better leave from my side
    You better run, you better hide, you better leave from my side
    I could yell, yeah
    I said go away and leave me alone
    I can’t stand you no more
    Source: LyricFind

  • Frazey Ford’s gorgeous scathing break up anthem….DONE

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXRrySTujn8

    I was taking every hit from you
    You drive-by shooting son of a bitch, and I’m done
    Oh whoa, I’m done
    Who told you that you could rewrite the rules, and do you
    Really take me for a goddamn fool cause I’m done
    Oh whoa, I’m done

    [Chorus]
    And you can drag me out before some authority
    If that’s what you have to do to feel like you can punish me
    But I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t keep the peace anymore
    With your dogs, with your dogs, at my door

    [Verse 2]
    You’ve been puncing my weaknesses, slandering my name
    You spent all your time trying to place your blame, and I’m done
    Ohhh, I’m done
    I used to think I hold the best parts of me
    To sew the holes in your life and the cracks in your seams
    And I’m done
    Oh whoa, I’m done

    [Bridge]
    And I’m sorry that you don’t like your life
    But I fought for my own victories and for the beauty in my life
    My joy, my joy, my joy takes nothing from you
    No, my joy, my joy, my joy takes nothing from you

    [Guitar solo]

    [Verse 3]
    Well, you criticize my numbers, you hammer out the rules
    Wait for me to fuck up, and find yourself some proof
    And I’m done
    Oh whoa, I’m done
    You just soak in the hatred of a sorry line
    Yeah, you hide behind decorum and a fake smile
    And I’m done
    Oh whoa, I’m done

    [Chorus]
    And you can drag me out before a judge and authorities
    If that’s what you have to do to feel like you can punish me
    But I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t keep the peace anymore
    With your dogs, with your dogs, at my door
    Well I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t keep the peace anymore
    With your dogs, with your dogs, at my door

  • Elements: Alison Sudol

    You show up like a hurricane, all hungry-eyed and weather-stained
    The clock forgets to tick and I the same
    I died the day you disappeared, so why would you be welcome here?
    Ride the wind that brought you back away
    No you can’t come in
    No you can’t come in
    I cannot stop my rebel hands from pulling out the pots and pans
    I left you in the cold until you shook
    You’re gentle now, but I recall
    Both tender fire and bitter squall
    A history so deep it hurts to look
    No you can’t come in
    No you can’t come in
    No you can’t
    You can’t come in
    If the sea should swallow up my house
    I will turn my rooftop inside out and the wind will be wailing
    But I will be sailing faster
    Oh the elements I do not fear but I fall apart when you appear
    ‘Cause you are the greatest
    The greatest disaster
    If the sea should swallow up my house
    I will turn my rooftop inside out and the wind will be wailing
    But I will be sailing faster

    • My husband’s ho has this on her public playlist. I laughed when I saw it. Damn Right.

      Miranda Lambert- More Like Her

      She’s beautiful in her simple little way
      She don’t have too much to say when she gets mad
      She understands, she don’t let go of anything
      Even when the pain gets really bad
      I guess I should’ve been more like that
      You had it all for a pretty little while
      And somehow you made me smile when I was sad
      You took a chance on a bruised and beaten heart
      And then you realized you wanted what you had
      I guess I should’ve been more like that
      I should have held on to my pride
      I should have never let you lie
      I guess you got what you deserved
      I guess I should’ve been more like her
      Forgiving you, well, she’s stronger than I am
      You don’t look much like a man from where I’m at
      It’s plain to see desperation showed it’s truth
      You love her, and she loves you with all she has
      I guess I should’ve been more like that
      I should have held on to my pride
      I should have never let you lie
      I guess you got what you deserved
      I guess I should’ve been more like her
      She’s beautiful in her simple little way

    • And a final barf-worthy song! Always hated this one.

      Atlantic Star- Secret Lovers

      Here we are the two of us together
      Taking this crazy chance to be all alone
      We both know that we should not be together
      ‘Cause if they found out
      It could mess up, both our happy homes
      I hate to think about us all meeting up together
      As soon as I looked at you it would show on my face
      Then they’ll know that we’ve been loving each other
      They can never no, oh no, we can’t leave a trace
      Secret Lovers that’s what we are, we shouldn’t be together
      But we can’t let it go, oh no, cause we love each other so
      Sittin at home I do nothing all day
      But think about you and hope that your ok
      Hoping you’ll call before anyone gets home
      I’ll wait anxiously, alone by the phone
      How could something so wrong be so right
      I wish we didn’t have to keep our love out of sight
      Living two lives just ain’t easy at all
      But we gotta hang on and after fall
      Secret lovers that’s what we are
      Trying so hard to hide the way we feel
      Cause we both belong to someone else
      But we can’t let it go, cause what we feel is oh so real
      So real
      You and me, are we fair
      Is this cruel, or do we care
      Can they tell what’s in our minds
      Maybe they’ve had secret love all of the time
      In the middle of makin love we notice the time
      We both get nervous cause it’s way after nine
      Even though we hate it, we know it’s time that we go
      We gotta be careful, so that no one will know
      Secret lovers, that’s what we are
      Trying so hard to hide the way we feel
      ‘Cause we both belong to someone else
      But we can’t let it go
      ‘Cause what we feel is oh so real
      So real

    • James Blunt- Over https://youtu.be/qBeR8byJy3w

      James Blunt- She will always hate me

      Aimee Mann- You never loved me

      Shontelle- Impossible

      Kelly Clarkson- Never Again

      The Lumineers- Morning Song

      Amy Winehouse – Back to Black (posted by the ho on her facebook after she was dumped)

  • I needed to take very few liberties with Joey + Rory’s, “Cheater, Cheater.”

    Cheater, cheater where’d you meet her–down at your favorite park?
    Did she smile your way, twirl her hair and say how good your sermons are?
    Did she use that line “Your place or mine?” while you’d run with her real slow?
    Tell me cheater, cheater where all did ya meet that no good white trash ho?

    Liar, liar did you buy her merlot all night long?
    Did you hide your ring in the pocket of your jeans or did you just keep it on?
    When the deed was done and you’d gone for a run did you think I wouldn’t know?
    Tell me cheater, cheater where’d you meet that no good, white trash ho?

    Now I’m the one to judge the one that slept in my own bed,
    Yeah, to lay your hands on a preacher man is bout as low as a gal can get
    Hey I wish her well as she rots in hell and you can tell her I said so
    Cheater, cheater where all did ya meet that no good, white trash ho?

    Loser, loser hope you love her cuz you’re stuck with her now
    Take your sorry butt, load up all your stuff, and get the hell out of my house
    But I just wish you’d tell me this one thing before you go
    Cheater, cheater where all did ya meet that no good, white trash ho?

    Now I’m the one to judge the one that slept in my own bed,
    Yeah, to lay your hands on a married man is bout as low as a gal can get
    Hey I wish her well as she rots in hell and you can tell her I said so
    Cheater, cheater where all did ya meet that no good, white trash ho?

    Yeah I just wish you’d tell me this one thing before you go
    Cheater, cheater where all did you meet that low down, uptown, slept with every guy around, silicone implanted, no good, white trash ho?

    • Even later to the game (Chumplady catch-up on a Friday night – I know how to live!)

      Dido sums up the conflict of the Hopium phase….(All You Want)

      “I’d like to watch you sleep at night,
      To hear you breathe by my side
      And although sleep leaves me behind,
      There’s nowhere I’d rather be

      And now our bed is oh so cold,
      My hands feel empty, no-one to hold
      And I can sleep what side I want,
      It’s not the same with you gone
      Oh if you’d come home, I’ll let you know that

      All you want, is right here in this room, all you want
      And all you need, is sitting here with you, all you want

      It’s been three years, one night apart,
      But in that night you tore my heart
      If only you had slept alone,
      If those seeds had not been sown
      Oh you could come home and you would know that

      All you want, is right here in this room, all you want
      All you need is sitting here with you, all you want

      I hear your key turning in the door,
      I won’t be hearing that sound anymore
      And you and your sin can leave the way you just came in,
      Send my regards to her
      I hope you’ve found that

      All you want, is right there in that room, all you want
      All you need is sitting there with you, all you want

      I’d like to watch you sleep at night,
      To hear you breathe by my side”

      But don’t worry, she gets to Meh eventually (Don’t Think of Me)

      “So you’re with her, and not with me,
      I hope she’s sweet, and so pretty
      I hear she cooks delightfully,
      A little angel beside you

      So you’re with her, and not with me,
      Oh how lucky one man can be
      I hear your house is small and clean,
      Oh how lovely with your homecoming queen
      Oh how lovely it must be

      When you see her sweet smile baby, don’t think of me
      When she lays in your warm arms, don’t think of me

      So you’re with her, and not with me,
      I know she spreads sweet honey
      In fact your best friend,
      I heard he spent last night with her
      Now how do you feel, how do you feel

      When you see her sweet smile baby, don’t think of me
      When she lays in your warm arms, don’t think of me
      And it’s too late and it’s too bad, don’t think of me
      Oh it’s too late and it’s too bad, don’t think of me

      Does it bother you now all the mess I made
      Does it bother you now the clothes you told me not to wear
      Does it bother you now all the angry games we played
      Does it bother you now when I’m not there

      When you see her sweet smile baby, don’t think of me
      When she lays in your warm arms, don’t think of me
      And it’s too late and it’s too bad, don’t think of me
      And it’s too late, and it’s too bad, don’t think of me.”

  • A real chump anthem is “dont make my brown eyes blue” by Crystal Gale

    Dont tell me secrets – tell me some lies
    Dont give me reasons – give me alibis
    Tell me you love me – dont make me cry
    Say anything just dont say goodbye
    Didnt mean to make you sad
    Didnt know just what we had
    Say it isnt true
    Dont make my brown eyes blue

  • Ok, I’m also very late to the game. Here goes some of my favorite chump songs:

    Of course, The Long Run, by the Eagles

    “Did you do it for love, did you do it for money?
    Did you do it for spite, did you think you had to, honey?
    Who is gonna make it? We’ll find out, in the long run…”

    Think, by Aretha Franklin

    You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine, by Lou Rawls

    Ain’t That a Shame, by Fats Domino

    Train in Vain, by the Clash

    Clod as Ice, by Foreigner

    The best for last, especially for male chumps.

    Queen: Who Needs You, Save Me, Death on Two Legs, Love of My Life, and Another One Bites the Dust

    Evil Woman, by ELO. Jeff Lynne knew what he was singing about, that’s for sure.

    And finally, a few by Elvis Costello:

    Every Day I Write The Book

    “Said you’d stand by me in the middle of Chapter 3, but you were up to your old tricks in Chapters 4, 5 and 6…”

    Heart Shaped Bruise

    and of course, his song Alibi:


    You did it ’cause you wanted, alibi, alibi
    And you took it, ’cause you need it, alibi, alibi
    But if I’ve done something wrong there’s no “ifs and buts”
    ‘Cause I love you just as much as I hate your guts
    Alibi, alibi, alibi
    And you don’t need anybody, alibi, alibi
    But you are the only one that knows this, alibi, alibi
    You deserve it, ’cause you’re special, alibi, alibi
    Maybe Jesus wants you for a sunbeam, alibi, alibi
    But if I’ve left something out, I apologize
    But if you look in my eyes then I’m sure you’ll see
    Alibis, alibis, alibis
    Sometimes I’m so forgiving, oh-oh
    Everything seems bad to me
    But I can’t go on living, oh-oh
    With this alibi, alibi, alibi
    “Insane,” what a mundane alibi, alibi
    And you only wanted to be famous, alibi, alibi
    Sorry, but your mommy doesn’t love you, alibi, alibi
    Stop me if you’ve heard this alibi, alibi
    But if I’ve done something right then don’t be surprised
    There are soldiers who will kill but refuse to die
    But if I’ve done something wrong there’s no “ifs and buts”
    ‘Cause I love you just as much as I hate your guts
    Alibi, alibi, alibi, alibi
    You were weak, you couldn’t help it, alibi, alibi
    But you never had a pony, alibi, alibi
    But if I’ve left something out, I apologize
    But if you look in my eyes then I’m sure you’ll see
    Alibis, alibis, alibis
    And you’re such a people person, alibi, alibi
    And I will be true to you forever, alibi, alibi
    But you’re stupid and you’re lazy, alibi, alibi
    Maybe we can make the future better, alibi, alibi
    But if I’ve done something wrong there’s no “ifs and buts”
    ‘Cause I love you just as much as I hate your guts
    Alibi, alibi, alibi, alibi
    Sometimes I’m so forgiving, oh-oh
    Everything seems bad to me, oh
    But I can’t go on living, oh-oh
    With this alibi, alibi, alibi
    You were happy, you were poor
    And more honest and that’s your alibi, alibi
    Sister is a whore, brother isn’t sure, alibi, alibi
    You don’t fit the body that you’re trapped in, alibi, alibi
    And papa’s got a brand-new alibi, alibi
    But if I’ve done something wrong there’s no “ifs and buts”
    ‘Cause I love you just as much as I hate your guts
    But if I’ve left something out, I apologize
    But if you look in my eyes then I’m sure you’ll see
    Alibis, alibis, alibis, alibis”

    I can’t play this around my 14 year old son anymore. It’s too dark for him, and he’s heard it too often. I feel bad I exposed him to it too much. But it so fits my feelings about the POS XW (and her partner in certain parts, too.)

    The fuckwit XW always claimed to be a music lover, but could never understand people using songs like this to deal w/heartache (like me). Thought doing that was immature. Boy, did I miss that red flag. No understanding, no compassion. Yipes.

    Hoping we’re all healing out there. And surviving and thriving w/out these fuckwits in our lives. Hugs to all.

  • >