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Smythe and Shkreli, Star-Crossed Schmoopies

Martin ShkreliIs anyone following the weird story of unemployed journalist Christie Smythe and her imaginary boyfriend and convicted felon Martin Shkreli?

Now THIS is a unicorn story for the Reconciliation Industrial Complex.

Reporter leaves her marriage for a super special sociopath doing 7 years in the federal pen. She will wait for him! She’s the one he really loves!

Who are these people? The Washington Post reports:

Shkreli, you might recall, is the Brooklyn native who ran Turing Pharmaceuticals, a small pharmaceutical company that suddenly jacked up the price of an AIDS drug by 5,000 percent in 2015. Instead of hanging his head in shame, he embraced his notoriety, playing the role of an evil villain and seemingly confusing life with a reality show. “The key word in profiteering is profit,” he claimed to Business Insider, comparing himself to the robber barons. In his spare time, he harassed female reporters on social media. All this turned him into, as the BBC put it, “The Most Hated Man in America.”

Who is Christie Smythe? Just a drab, ordinary former reporter for Bloomberg News. A Midwestern gal, with a drab gray wardrobe and drab gray husband and a drab gray rescue dog — until Mr. Pharma Fraud swanned into her life. Smythe covered Shkreli’s crimes. And then she cast herself in his story as the sociopath whisperer. The one very special soul who Understands The Real Him.

Okay, so she dragged some other journalists and cheated on her husband for this dreamboat. But hang in there Christie, I’m sure a man who made a killing defrauding investors and price gouging drugs for vulnerable people is only shitty to millions of other people and not you.

Stephanie Clifford wrote a long piece about this twisted love affair for Elle a couple days ago.

And because this is a women’s magazine, for reasons known only to misogyny, they dressed Christie Smythe like a fashion model and not as the subject of a piece of long-form journalism examining her pathetic love life.

Clearly the photo editors at Elle despise this woman. In the first “styling” Smythe looks like a parade float made from psychedelic bicentennial wallpaper. How does she fit through the ship channel in those puffy sleeves?

Not content with one garish print, Smythe also sits primly in a splashy floral that screams: “I am not confident in my choices.” And when you make bad choices, you should wear them head to toe.

Sorry, I had to get that out of the way. (WHAT IS THAT? WE DON’T DO THIS TO MEN!)

Back to the Elle article. Guy chumps — Do you ever wonder if that man she left you for is better than you? Behold:

A realization hit her. In the visitors’ room, “I told Martin I loved him,” Smythe says. “And he told me he loved me, too.” She asked if she could kiss him, and he said yes. The room smelled of chicken wings, she remembers.

And this.

Smythe pressed Shkreli to let her visit him in jail, and he agreed to a November date. In the visitors’ room, unsure of what Shkreli liked, Smythe spent $30 on vending-machine snacks. When he was brought in, she hugged him, and they sat down to talk, struggling to hear each other over the other visitors. She microwaved a hamburger for him, and they talked about jail. When the hour-long visit ended, she hightailed it to the first counseling session with her husband. He had refused to move the appointment, and she wouldn’t reschedule with Shkreli. She arrived at the hour-long session 52 minutes late.

Nothing says courtship like $30 of vending-machine snacks. Why try to save your marriage when there are microwave hamburgers?

But after the chump divorced Smythe, and she got her glossy Elle spread wearing ugly dresses in defense of her ugly choices, Shkreli was there for her.

“Mr. Shkreli wishes Ms. Smythe the best of luck in her future endeavors.”

Christie, that’s the sound of bus wheels rolling over you.

Her heart will go on. She says she had no regrets.

 “I’m happy here. I feel like I have purpose.”

I feel like Bloomberg News and her ex-husband are happy she’s there too. Far away from them.

Ask Chump Lady

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  • Check out the brand of the second dress — the Vampire’s Wife. Someone couldn’t resist.

    • Hilarious, that’s hilarious….. hahahahaha assffssttttt

      What a narcissist idiot this Smythe is. The time these people make us waste…. At least we can crack some jokes

      • I couldn’t finish it. It was nauseating. She’s a narcissistic bitch and he’s a manipulative bastard. Too many triggers for me. The ex-BF did all the manipulative shit that “Shrek” did.
        The mindfuckery is the worst.

      • Many many many people (including myself) were dogpiling Smythe’s Twitter the other week telling her she’s been hoodwinked by a narcissistic sociopath.

        Guys, it was like talking to a brick wall. She didn’t even understand that the relationship is over, that Shkreli dumped her via his lawyers.

    • On first reading, I thought it was “Smythe and *Shrek*”.

      I need new specs. ????

    • What really stood out to me is how much the makeup artist hated her. The photos look like her eyebrows weren’t touched and her lips look thinner than they really are. I wonder if they were trying to make her look drab on purpose.

    • The Vampire’s Wife is the label for designer Susie Bick, who is the wife of Australian singer Nick Cave. I think Elle was PWNING Smythe a little. I cackled!

  • Did you catch the part where she admits that Shkreli hasn’t answered any of her emails in months?

    The delusion is strong with this one.

    • Hopium.

      People are trying to pass her off as a victim of his manipulation.

      I see her as a willing participant. An enabler. She knew exactly what he was — she was covering his trial!

      It’s Schmoopie hubris. She’s Special. It Will Be Different.

      • Me too. She’s absolutely addicted to this guy, to hopium, and to intermittent reward.

        • Well, that, and look at the attention she’s getting from it? We have a huge portion of folks who desire attention like a crack addict desires a fix. She got a magazine shoot from it, she has people talking about her. You see this constantly play out on social media with many female influencers. They’re obsessed with attention.

        • Sadly, we are ALL VULNERABLE to getting addicted. to INTERMITTENT REWARD.
          It’s psychology 101 and neuroscience 202.
          First discovered and published by Pavlov after he did his famous lab experiments on 3 dogs. The dog that got intermittent reward pressed the bar for food until he exhausted himself and (sadly) died..!!
          This brain wiring is in the human brain too; it helped early humans to persist in searching for food in times of scarcity. Keep looking-maybe there’s a nut or berry somewhere…!!
          This same wiring operates in pair-bounding relationships both with parents ( including neglectful or abusive), and adult love relations.
          A few kibbles will keep chumps tethered to an ungiving, unresponsive partner for years, there’s a reason they call it
          It takes cognitive skill and strength to recognize this is going on and break the lock of intermittent reward on emotional life. Otherwise it becomes entrenched and rationalized as “just the way things are”.

          • YESSSSSSS Pavlov’s Law!! I was so impressed with his studies when I was a teenager (YEARS AGO) in school!! Yep, humans are the same way!!! Great example!

      • In our culture, victimhood is valued and desired. Personal responsibility doesn’t exist for many and so many of those who want to avoid accountability and scrutiny for their trash character and choices- are all too willing to take up the role of “victim.”

      • There is a chump in this story and it’s not Smythe. It’s her husband. The guy who got stood up at his marriage counseling appointment.

        I see Smythe as the sort of OW who wants chump sympathy. It’s not like she didn’t know he was a terrible person, or Shkreli didn’t present himself as a terrible person, or commit to her. She CHOSE this path. She CONSENTED to it.

        While she might display hopium, and be mindfucked by a con, there is a big difference.

          • Exactly. Chumps are the victims, but we didn’t want this role….and we are the forgotten people in the whole disastrous betrayal mess.
            I was really excited and hopeful about reading Kristin Neff’s book on Self-Compassion.
            Then, early on in the book, she mentions how she was an OW and in twu wov … then all about her…and her self-compassion….what she learned about herself etc etc
            She adds in in the book like it was all about her – and poor her.
            Barely a sad mention of her cheating partner’s long-standing wife and the trauma this affair no doubt inflicted on her.
            Except for the light CL shines on us – we are mostly forgotten by society

            • Kristin Neff is just dreadful. Talk about a narcissistic wolf in self-empowering sheep’s clothing. If you do even a shallow dig on her there are inconsistencies all over the place.

              Too many of those listen to your inner voice self-actualise brave wild n free unleash types (yes that was me who had a rant about Glennon Doyle a while back) are very *very* well marketed Nobody’s the Boss of Me types. Who happen to have talent for turning a snappy feminist phrase, and can insta-meme their occasional fleeting insights into the human condition.

              Deluded limitless entitlement, selfishness and sad sausage victimhood are dangerous (and nauseating) when they can be reframed as “self-compassion,” or self-discovery or actualisation or whatever selfselfselfBS … and there’s a publisher panting to squeeze another best-seller out of them.

              Don’t start me on Elizabeth Gilbert.

              • Mama, Therapists buy into this too.
                I hate thinking that I may be reading the words of others to help me heal …
                And really I’m reading drivel from an entitled self-centred OW. Who do you recommend besides CL? It’s hard to find good help!
                And I’d be interested in your thoughts on Elizabeth Gilbert.

      • Yup. This is the personal version of that political meme: ‘I never thought leopards would eat MY face,’ sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party.

      • I know some ow are lied to and may not know about the wife or family, but from what I can tell most ow are totally the same… thinking “I’m different, special”. She’s just another delusional ow, but maybe even more delusional than the average. As she covered his case and his fraud was broadcasted in a big way. Her poor husband, she’s having a vending machine date in jail and he waiting on her at counseling, ouch!

      • I feel pretty confident this is a scam. I think she’s fishing for book/movie deal, and we’ve fallen for it by paying attention to her. There’s no way it could be that she genuinely “fell” for him, he’s absurdly cynical and obnoxious. But people love to hate him, and she’s looking to monetize that.
        Charming people.

    • She’s totally delusional. I mentioned elsewhere in the thread that tons of people were telling her on Twitter that she enabled a con artist who conned her too. I mean, everybody laid it out for her step by step, but she refused to listen to any of it. She still thinks they’re dating!

      I don’t understand how anyone can be this delusional. I was flabbergasted.

  • After watching the episode of American Greed featuring Martin Shkreli, I cannot imagine any properly wired person with a shred of a brain cell touching him with a 40 foot pole.

    I don’t want to catch what they have.
    At least they are enmeshed with each other and thus hopefully will not further infect or harm the decent herd.

    My husband was right about one thing. He called Craigslist Casual Encounter his “sole mate”…..they are a matching pair of heels.

    • It’s nothing new to see mentally unstable women pine for notorious criminals. Look at the women who desired Ted Bundy and Charles Manson. These people are crazy as hell.

      • A woman married and had a child with Joran Van Der Sloot, the prisoner who murdered a woman on the five year anniversary of Natalee Holloway’s disappearance.
        Boggles the mind. The “batshit crazy” label does apply to these women, not women being cheated on by their men.

      • Scott Peterson is in jail fifteen minutes from my house, probably getting Christmas cards from his female supporters.

        • When we took the ferry past San Quentin I said “On the count of three, everybody give Scott the one finger salute !”

  • You can see why, culturally and historically, people have so often viewed falling in love as a curse from a vindictive god or goddess.

    There are times when it absolutely makes no sense, and is deeply shaming. People like this guy and Chris Watts get love letters from desperate and delusional women, absolutely fixated on them.

    I get it. It’s a huge chemical rush, and codependents are never happier than when they’re absorbed body and soul into a consuming passion for someone who delivers only crumbs and intermittent reward.

    It’s such a welcome distraction from sorting out your own shit. All that pain must surely be love.

    And yet even in the thrall of this, it’s still made up of a whole series of choices – good and bad ones.

    A wise old nun once told me, ‘We can’t help falling in love, but we CAN help what we do about it.’

    She was right. It’s painful, but it’s the path out of codependency – owning your addiction and going cold turkey.

    • Hard to argue against that. Just think of all of our stories where the hopium lifted, the rose-colored lenses were tossed in the trash bin and you got your logical brain back? LOL

    • I think we can actually help it sometimes.

      If someone is off limits and we start to feel a bit too much for them, we can turn our back and avoid unnecessary contact with that person.

      Or if we find our picker needs fixing, we can work on that!

      • it is painful and easier said than done. I told a date that clearly had an mj problem we’d be just fwb. it took me two more dates and intermittent rewards to realize this has no happy ending and went NC. so the picker is fixed but the chemical rush leaves me an addict. 3 weeks and i’m still suffering.

  • CL, I did read the story earlier and thought of you at once!

    Silver linings: At least Smythe’s husband came out of all this better off. Though he may not yet see it that way. 😉

    • Winner, winner chicken dinner right here. You just know he had spent his entire married life covering up her crazy.

  • One of the dresses in the *Elle* photo shoot is by a company called “The Vampire’s Wife.” She and her Pharma Beau were being trolled HARD. Way to go, Elle!

    Sad thing is what she really needs is a dress made by “The Vampire’s Side-Piece.”

    • “Sad thing is what she really needs is a dress made by “The Vampire’s Side-Piece”

      Nice one.

    • Exactly. I think Elle was very clever in getting this story. They lured her with the fancy dresses and hoped some people would see the wink in the designer names. She betrayed other female journalists while with him and basically was complicit in their trolling. They wrote about her as fairly as possible but they were revealing just how delusional she is too. I almost feel bad for her … no one in their right mind does this shit. There’s some deep, undealt past trauma going on there.

  • People would truly be amazed at the level of mental illness and garbage character in the “journalism” field.

    Former journalist

      • My personal guess is that he might have “tested the waters” with many women, including journalists, but only one fell for it (unless there are others who haven’t come forward). Obviously shows that not all women journalists (or other women he encountered) are like that. On the contrary, there were others who took risks by publicizing his bad behavior toward them.

      • Hey CL,

        I wrote to you about this article! As I was reading it, I kept thinking about how you helped me break free of this bullshit. Thank you!

  • I read this story yesterday. Smythe’s situation to me parallels the women that fall for the Nigerian dating scammers. Only unlike the women that were scammed by the Nigerians, she actually met her scammer in person. There is no reasoning with these women that were scammed. Some have given every cent they have to these men, these men they have never met. I may have mentioned once before about a year ago, a woman that is associated with the industry I am in, fell for a Nigerian scammer. This woman is a shark in this industry and has done very well. Yet, she fell very hard for this illusion. He said he was Dutch and affiliated with the CIA. He sent a fake photo and ton of excuses why they couldn’t meet up. Had her looking at real estate properties as he was moving here with his adopted son. A home with a pool was a must. Then he started with the woe is me schtick and started asking for money. She said she never sent a dime, but who knows for sure.

  • This was a hard dose of reality for me this morning. Reading the absolute delusional behavior of the journalist is astonishing.

    Sometimes I slip back into the mindset of “What is wrong with me?” when thinking of how the exH moved so quickly with the OW taking my place as if I and our almost 12 year (20 year relationship) never existed. Then, I read this article, and I can clearly see how mentally unhealthy this reporter is to be enthralled with a man with such sociopathic behavior. I need to remember this – mentally unhealthy behavior would have been staying in a marriage with an emotional abuser. There is nothing wrong with me, as I was the healthy one for leaving to start my healing journey.

    Thank you for this reminder and reality check.

    • Glad for you Doc. Stay the course and keep yourself focused on that mighty post-pandemic, post fuckwit life ahead of you. In times of doubt remember “It ain’t me, it’s him.” The bad grammar makes it easier to remember ????

      • Absolutely, Fern! Focusing on the present life FW-free is key for all of us. That, and of course “fixing your picker,” to avoid an unhealthy long-term relationship in the future.

    • I believe there is a real problem with “fantasy” with most cheaters. They either have disdain or resentment with reality or have deep escapism issues. One cheater I know has given himself the “Viking” look. He’s nearly 65 years old for crying out loud. I think he’ll be giving himself yet another look soon as he just broke up with the AP (Scandinavian background) that broke up his marriage with the AP (stripper/biker chick) that broke up his first marriage. So delusional.

      • I agree with you KB22. I think this is part of the different masks that people with narcissistic traits portray. They do not have security in their true selves, so they keep trying on different traits to get what they want from others. I think back now to it being quite eerie how my exH started possessing different traits from the type of food he liked (he started eating pickled beets and drinking sparkling water) to selfie faces (e.g. the infamous “duck” face) to wanting plastic surgery to help him with weight loss (to which he never wanted to go that route before) that I later found corresponded all to the most recent OW. It is just weird, and I agree delusional on his part to extract what he wanted from the OW.

        With that being said, I am not sure that Shkreli was one of those types. He seems perfectly content with who he is, and I agree with what CL mentioned in an earlier post that Smythe knows what she is getting into. I do not even see any behavior on the part of Shkreli in which he reciprocates Smythe’s feelings – it just is all manipulation.

        • Yeah the disordered have to copy or mirror other persons. I know one woman, who went from being a Holy Roller, to Martha Stewart like to Swinging with other couples. She was actually on the show “Wife Swap”. She found it apparently googling couple swapping. I know this because because she cleaned for us and used our rental properties (she had the keys) for her hook ups. Of course I found this all out after the fact. She changed personas as it suited her at the time. Her husband was a weak idiot that went along with her crazy agendas. They left the state, in a hurry. Long story. They’ve since divorced but before they did she was arrested for domestic violence.

      • My FW had both and completely bought the fantasy that his new life with her would be rainbows and unicorns. That all his problems would just disappear. I don’t know who she is but other than her nothing his life is now nothing but problems. Fear not for my FW because he has not given up yet. Maybe Christmas presents will make the kids talk to him again. Lol

        • Remembering back, I am pretty sure my ex fw really thought, he would dispense with me and schmoopie would seamlessly moved into my spot and his life would be on track as planned. Yeah, didn’t happen.

          That is how much of a controller he was, he really thought he had this.

          • I think this describes a lot of cheaters since so many of them tend to be narcs.

            My FW thought we would basically be a family of 4 but live apart and sleep with other people. Actually, let me rephrase that. HE would sleep with schmoopie and I would choose to be celibate and pine for him for the rest of my lonely days. But we could still do family vacations and spend the holidays with his family because they would buy the “we just drifted apart” narrative. That is not how things went down at all.

            • “HE would sleep with schmoopie and I would choose to be celibate and pine for him for the rest of my lonely days.”

              Right? I know for certain that the fw was surprised that I went out on a date, six months after we were legally separated. So surprised he called the preacher in a panic to set up a time to “talk”.

              I don’t know how he could think I would pine for him forever. I mean I was a healthy attractive 40 year old woman. I had several chances in my lifetime.

              It has to be a part of their narc ness. Don’t get me wrong I was devastated when he left me for her. I even told him I would always love him. (pick me dancing) though I didn’t know the term then.

              I guess I was surprised to when I came to a point where I thought “Hey, I get my freedom too, I can work with this”.

              • Oh I pick me danced like crazy. It’s devastating to be left for someone else. But I quickly realized once we started living apart how much calmer my life was without him and playing marriage police.

                I’m currently 40 and think I’ve aged much better than the COW, who is the same age as me. I assume I can do better than broken, married man.

              • After 30 years of pick me dancing (plus another decade or so with my parents) I kinda like being single. It bothers me that FW will interpret this as me pining away for him.

          • You just made me laugh because this is exactly what my FW thought. He almost talked me into moving out and he’d stay in the house with the kids (didn’t know about the OW). This is how much control over me he had. He even immediately went and told all the kids I was leaving. They of course thought I was insane. Thankfully I came to my senses and said no. He moved out 3 days later.

            • Yep, sounds like a controller.

              In my case I stayed in the house, but during the year long legal separation, he kept saying things that indicated he thought I would take the house, and with that the house his mother was living in, since the loan for the house she was living in was on our house. In his mind, he would simply walk away with schmoopie and I would be left to deal with his mother for the rest of her life. Now don’t get me wrong, I loved his mother, but no, that was never going to happen.

              I think he just kept saying it, because he was willing it to happen. That is why he wanted me to use his lawyer, I am sure they had it all planned to tie up the rest of my life with his mother, while he danced away.

              Nope, didn’t happen; was never going to happen.

              When the divorce was final, I couldn’t wait to get out of that marital house. I got the one house that was paid for, unfortunately for his mother it was the one she was living in. She moved into the marital house and he and schmoopie had to take care of her. I danced away, with full freedom.

            • Elena, he likely if not now, will soon be wishing he was single too. As long as you are content, and living your life fully; he can kid himself all he wants; he knows.

              I am convinced if my ex could have stalled his marriage to schmoopie if he would have. (she was his direct report, and I am pretty sure she had him by the short hairs)

              I lived single for five years before remarrying. I was first dating my now H, then engaged. Had a ball.

              Still with my H, and we have had a lot of good years together. A calm peaceful life, with love and respect going both ways.

              My ex and schmoopie have had a lot of rough times. Most of their own making. He took her out of the trailer park, married her and darned if they aren’t back to living in a trailer park. Due to their gambling debts and bankruptcy.

              Don’t get me wrong nothing wrong with a trailer park, but I don’t think that was what schmoopie pictured when she nabbed that brass ring, with a regular paycheck.

    • It’s just another high they are addicted to. They are addicts who will do anything for that “fix”. The elation of a new affair (or even just one that is kept secret) gives them rushes of the feelings they crave.
      For mine, that was true. It had little to do with actual love but more about chasing that high. He was an alcoholic and later I discovered he was doing drugs too. Just another high. That’s why it never seems to make sense. Addiction isn’t about logic.

      • While I contend that “affair fog” is bullshit, I do firmly believe in the high they are experiencing in the initial stages of the adultery, and sneaking around. I also think, it is why they rarely stop once they start.

        My ex went on to cheat fairly openly after he married the whore. If the high doesn’t explain it, I don’t know what does. You would think he would have at least tried to hide it better; but it was like; oh well I blew up my life; no point in missing out now.

        Or maybe she was just better at catching it than I was, since she knew his tactics. Plus she had fucked quite a few married men before she won the “prize”. Maybe the whores have a network.

        Weird as all get out.

        • While the affair gutted me and I’ve bounced back pretty well given that it hasn’t even been two years, but what those initial months were like can be described as…immature. It reminded me of teenagers. I felt like my wife was like 17-19 year old, sneaking around behind her parents’ back sort of thing to hook up with her pothead boyfriend (who was coincidentally an old high school flame- lol).

          You trying to stop the affair feeds their massive ego and when you remove yourself and stop caring and file for divorce, you retake control of your life and regain the power they had over you, and then they’re just two messed up people stuck with each other and no one is trying to stop them anymore. Not quite as exciting anymore when you don’t have to hide it from spouses.

          • Yep, I have mentioned before he was acting like a hormonal teenager. Actually treating me like I was the lame mom, just harshing his mellow.

            He paid a huge price for those thrills, and not just breaking up his marriage, for him that was the least of it.

            Unfortunately not long ago he blew up his relationship with his (our) son. That was when I started researching narcissist’s, as I just couldn’t understand why he would again act like a sadistic bastard with his own son. That is when I found CL and got to know all these wonderful folks, and was able to many years later; get just how crazy he was.

            I handled it pretty well in real time, as I had a decent upbringing. But, dang I wish CL had been around then. I could have used the support and yes the laught during that time.

      • Yes, agreed. I still remember my exH exclaiming “I like the way she makes me feel!” when describing his relationship with the most recent OW. It had nothing to do with her – just him and his selfish feelings. Narcissistic traits to the core.

        • Soon, during my discard, I got ‘she makes me feel whole.´ I said ‘you said the same thing about me and it was real life – it wasn’t an affair.’ Then he justifies blowing up our lives by saying “don’t say it’s not real and I feel a little bit more whole this time.’ Wow! So unbelievably nonsensical to anyone over the age of 6.
          The further you get away from it, the easier it is to believe it’s them not us.

      • Limbo; “I’m currently 40 and think I’ve aged much better than the COW, who is the same age as me. I assume I can do better than broken, married man.”

        Absolutely, you can do better than a married man. In fact I was your age when he dumped me for the town whore. She was not his first married man rodeo and he knew it.

        He made a comment to me once about how he just couldn’t get his “feelings” back for me. I said, don’t worry about it; when I am ready I am sure I will have no trouble finding a man who has “feelings” for me, and he won’t be married.

        The whore went for married men because she couldn’t compete for single ones. And up until she hit the jackpot with my ex, none of those married men would bring her out of the shadows. But to be fair she didn’t work for any of them as their direct report, so she finally as George Castanza said “had hand”.

  • Ugh, this is painful and so was reading the Elle article about how delusional Smythe is. She could bring home the gold for the U.S. in the spackling department, but I could probably “win” the silver.

    Yesterday I found out I have Covid. As a scientist I understood and accepted instantly everything that means. But somehow I am a relationship spackler extraordinaire and keep on with my husband trying to turn a base metal into gold. Rationally, I knew everything on Dday, but my heart is chumpy and delusional. What the hell is wrong with me?

    • It takes a while for the heart and mind to connect.

      Hope the best for you. My son has just recovered from C10, went back to work yesterday (fire dept). His wife now has it, she has an immune disease, so pretty concerned about her. So far so good.

      His symptoms were fairly mild. Some slight breathing issues, (increased bronchial problems) the worst for him was joint pain, especially in the hip.

      • Thanks Susie. Glad to hear your son had a mild case of it and is now recovered: hoping for a similar happy outcome for your daughter-in-law.

    • Principled. I am a scientist too…. I agree 100% with Susie Lee below.

      I think that as scientists we use extra coats of spackle because… well, a stupid scientist…. At least that is how I feel now, knowing what I know

      I am now appalled at what so many of my colleagues put up with, in the name of looking smart and savvy. And I feel FREEEEEEEE.

    • Principled, absolutely nothing is wrong with you.
      Trying to save the dream and all the sunk costs is what most betrayed people understandably want to do. Regular folks have inertia and don’t like change at the best of times. And there’s a whole bunch of literature out there giving us hope that we can save our marriage.
      We are all pulling for you that the Covid will be a mild case.

    • What my very good therapist would say to you: “Is it in your best interest to stay with this cheater?” You can enlist your brain into the decision making process, even if your heart is trying to keep you a prisoner.

    • Dear PrincipledLife,
      Wishing you a speedy and complete recovery from COVID! Please go a bit easy on yourself until you are feeling better.

  • Sick.

    The chump-man in this story is who I feel for. I hope he’s getting lots of support in healing from the abuse he suffered.

    Those sociopaths? F them. They suck.

  • Like I told my ex FW, love is a choice. No one “falls” into, or out of, it. You choose it, every single step of the way. You choose to ask, respond, flirt, text, answer, date, kiss, ignore, neglect, cheat, lie, walk away, block. All of it is chosen. Love is not a character of its own with hapless victims. It is a human act made up of human choices, all of which we are responsible for. This is precisely why cheaters are bad people – because they choose to hurt others. Over and over and over again.

    • Amen to that. I’ve said as such. That’s why the claims of “I made a mistake” are so infuriating. No, you danced with the devil, made the choice to escalate it, made the choice to defile your marriage, defraud your spouse of comfort/finances/personal choice and were content to lie to them over and over again.

      That’s why I do not entertain reconciliation with my ex wife. What kind of person can betray their devoted spouse and father of their kids over and over again, lie to them every single day for years, and then chalk it up to “it just happened.” Uh no, you made a point to lie and sneak around. Love is the same. You make a choice to love the other person even when you do not feel like it.

      • Exactly. My STBXW used similar excuses for her near 20 AP’s we caught. She states she “simply stopped thinking” or the classic “my epic fuck up” and how she is sad little sausage as she has to suffer the consequences. My last accident involved getting the wrong coffee at Starbucks, not jumping in bed with over a dozen women and a continued affair with one person.

    • Yes! I told my FW the same thing while he was all “I didn’t mean to fall in love.” I’m like as soon as you felt any sort of sparks you should have been avoiding social situations with her rather than coming up with reasons to hang out. People just don’t accidentally find themselves in love. Those feelings are reinforced over time by deliberate decisions. Not that what I think they had/have is true love. Affair relationships are too selfish for that.

      • I remember when I fell in love with my ex fiancé when we were 18 years old. It took course over several months and I remember laying in bed at night not able to sleep knowing I was going to see her in the morning and the butterflies in my stomach. She was feeling the same way and I blurted out one day that I love you so bad and then we started dating. As you say, you don’t just fall in love like it’s a one time encounter with someone. It’s action after action. God, I hate cheaters.

        • I also met my wandering spouse when I was 18. He and his family have been a part of my entire adult life. It’s just crazy to think about.

          I hate cheaters, too 🙁

          • Similar here. I met him when I moved to his home town at age 16. We were married at 18 and the discard phase started as best as I can remember at the latter part of the 19th year. He never remembered my birthday, he actually would joke around about forgetting my bday, as if he prided himself on it. I always thought it was weird that he was compulsively organized, but yet he could never think to jot down my name on his calendar that he lived by.

            Anyway 6 September of that 19th year, I got a huge bouquet of flowers at work (daises my favorite flower). He called me after they were delivered and said, I always forget your birthday, so this year I thought I would I would send them a month early. By my birthday the next year, I was living in hell, still trying to figure out what was going on. I am convinced those were guilt flowers and likely he had just started screwing schmoopie. (I didn’t get a gift the next year, or flowers) he again ignored my bday.

            Dday was early in the am 25 Dec, of that same year.

          • One good thing about people who fell in love with a cheater at 16 or 18–you were just a kid. You hadn’t had a chance, as an adult to think about the qualities in a person that allow for a lifetime commitment–respect, honesty, work ethic, kindness, reciprocity, unselfishness. The person you loved wasn’t formed into a full adult. So fixing your picker–and maybe seeing why to leave the relationship–involves learning to “pick” with your adult knowledge and values.

            When I was 17, I was in loved with a guy who was smart and funny and popular. He’d date me for awhile and then drop me. I’d had a crush on him all through high school. My picker was broken even before I started to date.

      • Agreed.

        Most affairs begin as a lark/fantacy etc, that I do believe. I believe most who start them, likely are not thinking of a permanent situation; but then… And at some point all hell breaks loose.

        I have been attracted to other men, in my first marriage and in my second. It happens as we are human. You cut it off, back off; whatever. It was never a huge effort for me to do that because I am married, and it is wrong. Fairly simple decision for us chumps.

    • Spot on!!! Tell it like it is!!! The word is: Choose!!! They CHOOSE to do the things they do!!! You didn’t CHOOSE it or to cheat!!! THEY DID!!! If ever you get those nostalgic feelings, just remember the word, CHOOSE!!! Babies, Y’all are so much better than them!!!

      • Yep because while was asking him why he is pushing me away, he was lying and putting his attention on ow.

        That is why Tracy says the deck is stacked, and you won’t win. They make sure you don’t even get a chance.

  • Everything that is the point, the attraction, of a marriage, of a committed relationship, is destroyed forever by an affair.

    Starting with…commitment. The trait of sincere and steadfast fixity of purpose. If one is committed one forsakes all others.

    Trust….never again. Replace with suspicion as your new permanent family member if you decide to stay. You will never be able to verify that someone is faithful. Ever.

    Safety….gone. The person who pledged allegiance to you is A-OK with plunging the biggest sharpest knife in the known universe into your back and throwing their own children into a bottomless abyss of massive damage. They hired a hitman or hitwoman to help. It’s better than murder if you really want to do someone in.

    Security….see above.

    Like Pet Sematary, you can bury the body and say the magic words and what is resurrected, should you choose to stay, is a relationship that will never be those things
    above. Three friends who stayed show no signs, years later, that their marriages are stronger than before. None of them has gotten what they (thought they) had before
    or better.

    Someone recently left my small private infidelity Facebook support group. It was made up of friends and friends of friends. It started with six of us. Within a few months there were 64. She told us she was going to stay in her marriage and our group was about leaving, so she felt like she didn’t belong anymore. You don’t know me, you don’t know him, you don’t know us, she said.


    But I do know what cheating is, no matter who you are or they are or us is.

    It is always the revelation that there is no commitment, no trust, no safety, no security, no respect, no truth. All of the hallmarks of a healthy relationship will never be yours.

    And should they take off with their cheating accomplice?

    They don’t have it either. But they’re not conscious enough to realize it.

    I spent far too much of my life unconscious.

    May I see and have the courage to forge ahead.

    May we all.

    • …as for great sex? It’s about trust, safety, and respect in my world.

    • Your one of my favorite posters and so I look forward to reading your comments because they bring me comfort. I was replaced by a howorker after 30 years. He literally just moved out one day. I’m doing okay but I still need reminders that their relationship won’t be healthy that he didn’t find a unicorn.

      • “but I still need reminders that their relationship won’t be healthy that he didn’t find a unicorn.”

        I think to paraphrase CL, unless they both had/or get character transplants, you can be assured they won’t be said unicorns cooing love songs to each other every night.

      • You can’t be replaced. There is only one Elena in the history of the world and there will never be another Elena.

        He just needed to find someone who would buy his bullshit.

        An affair is a dysfunctional relationship. It’s baked in by definition. The capacity to lie and betray and hurt other people are dead giveaways that someone has major issues. I was deceived; the adultery accomplice chose him knowing it. That’s also a dead giveaway that someone has major issues….


        • Yep, I have often wondered how these folks can look at others in the eye once they are revealed. I think I would die of shame.

          • They have no shame in their game. They’re wired differently.
            I’ll take an empath over a charmer.

          • Mine was planning to keep everything in the shadows. He’d leave me hide the OW and then later introduce her respectfully to the kids. Feelings of shame problem solved. But he got cocky and gave S20 a key to his house not thinking that S20 would come over at noon. FW had been gone for 5 months before getting his own place so he didn’t know S20s college schedule. Oopsie.

            FW to this day doesn’t know how I caught him and he didn’t know I had until I filed with grounds (true fault state). He’s not that bright.

            • Wow they are crazy.

              I know my ex was not quite ready to finish off the discard when someone outed him. (it wasn’t me) But, towards Christmas he started getting even worse in terms of nastiness. (Dday was Christmas day)

              I found out about a week after he left, which was right after Jan 1st, that he had gone to the city counsel a few weeks before, to petition for a raise for schmoopie, (she was the dog catcher, and his direct report) they granted it; and then they found out he was fucking schmoopie. They were pissed. They wanted him fired, but in the end he just got demoted and put back out on patrol. Lost that cushy office by the mayor. Gone was the dream of her just stepping in my life and me being erased. It all went downhill after that. My son said he took an early retirement because it was so tense at work, and because of that lost almost half of his pension. I actually didn’t know that until recently. Son just got to talking.

              Schmoopie was pulled from the dog catcher job, and put on as a dispatcher. She fucked that up a couple months later, and they quietly resigned her. She ended up on disability due to back problems she was able to pin on lifting so many critters.

              Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

      • Elena, your STBX is also a substance abuser. That’s a downhill slide no mater what else is going on in their lives. They never get better unless they quit drinking and work on why they needed it in the first place. And sobriety is very tough to maintain unless the user is willing to give up all the old drinking/drug buddies, all the old bars, all the old habits.

        That alone is reason to leave.

        • It can’t be said often enough.

          Thanks for the Christmas present, LAJ.

    • Velvet Hammer, Another good one!! I think your post is spot on and says it all!! If you got back with your cheater, it will NEVER be the same!! Your innocence has been taken away!!! EVERYTHING is changed and you’ll always wonder when the other shoe will drop!! Even in the back of your mind, you’ll wonder!!
      I worked with another woman whose husband cheated and was married to the OW for 12 years!! They divorced and he talked my friend into getting remarried!! She did and I asked her how it was going. She said, “Okay” and that she did it,”for the kids and grandchildren” She wasn’t very overjoyed with her decision!!! But, again, it is her choice!!

    • I am with you on the “mental illness”. Statements such as “I felt like a politician’s wife”, “I felt as if I were giving a dinner party” and then “He didn’t want her telling her story, she says. Smythe thinks it’s because he’s worried about fallout for her.”
      He quite obviously does not care anything about HER.
      She is beyond delusional. I actually feel sorry for her.

      • I’m not a psycholoist, but sounds like maybe a form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder could be involved. All those statements sound like elevating one’s own centrality.

        As for feeling sorry, I don’t, but it’s not like our feelings effect the situation, anyhow.

    • I agree that this woman is certainly mentally ill, and I’m glad for her chump ex-husband that he’s out of that mess.

      I still subscribe to the idea that mental illness may explain terrible behavior, but it is no excuse.

      • Mental illnesses, like depression, anxiety and the more serious schizophrenia and bipolar, can be treated with medication.

        Personality disorders (narcissistic, borderline, anti-social) are another kettle of fish.

        • I think it’s a question of semantics – people with depressive disorders, anxiety disorders, and people with personality disorders all have diagnosable problems that are included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. They all have problems with mental health, so many people view all of these various disorders as “mental illness” (illness being the opposite of health).

          The distinction is further blurred by the fact that many people with personality disorders are given medications which improve their functioning.

          I’ve known people with personality disorders that I would consider far more mentally ill than some people I’ve known with either depressive or anxiety disorders (ask any clinician who has worked with someone who has borderline personality disorder!).

          An occasional odd decision or choice is normal. But it’s the way out there behavior of people like this reporter that strongly suggests a lack of mental health – or what some of us view as behavior that’s typical of someone who is mentally ill.

    • I don’t know. I have a family member who has bipolar depression. There were a lot of poor decisions made over the years, the worst being leaving his wife of over 30 years during a manic episode. Those are temporary and he’s since been bouncing in and out of the atmosphere since then. I guess my point is, he had a lengthy history of mental illness. We just didn’t decide he had one because he made a profoundly stupid decision. No one close to her has suggested Smythe is mentally ill. She sounds delusional. Doesn’t mean she’s actually struggling with anything other than just being an asshole.

      • Speaking only for myself, I know many people who have held onto delusional fantasies that someone they “loved” would someday return their devotion. I would be one of those people. Rather than labelling these people (and myself), I think about it as having ideas about love, relationships, commitment, the nature of emotions and happiness that don’t line up with the real world as it is. For example, confusing love with love bombing. Thinking that real love is love at first sight (or love in a hurry). Thinking that if you love some one, you hang on because it only comes once in a lifetime.

        Those aren’t necessarily character problems. It’s the cheating that shows selfishness and entitlement.

      • Limbo Chumpian, HAHAHAHAHA. I agree, she’s just an ASSHOLE!! And so is he!!! Great match!!!

    • Lol. I have to wonder what is going through this woman’s head that she would volunteer this not at all flattering tidbit.

  • The photo of them together is chilling. Neither smile reaches the eyes. A psychopath and his narcissist victim/volunteer.

  • There is no humility or gratitude in people with these personality disorders. They are eternally convinced they are special, and rules do not apply to them. All bad acts can be justified, and they always consider their intelligence to be superior. Empathy is non-existent, and considered to be a weakness in others. A weakness that can be exploited.

    The thing that bothers me about news coverage of these people is that I know it is “kibbles” of attention for them. It also sends a dog whistle of evil magnitude to the vulnerable people in the mass audience. These people follow the evil perpetrator with an unwavering commitment, and believe all the drivel and spackle they produce. They can be dangerous, thinking they are working for the benefit of their chosen one. When these stories are constantly in the news, even if context is provided, it numbs the mass audience as a whole. That is how evil people rise to power, that is how they damage everyone of us. That is how an entire race of people can be herded onto freight cars and shuttled into death camps.

    Perhaps you believe I am being overly dramatic? I truly believe there is a fight between good and evil in our world. None of us is perfect, we all have failings and weaknesses. However, we also have choice, and the ability to stand up and point out the truth. When I was working, in my adult work life, I often felt like the child in the story of The Emperor’s New Clothes. I could see that the Emperor was deluded, or misguided, but could I, as a lowly employee point it out? Would I lose my job? Would I be able to feed my children and pay my mortgage if I lost my job? Sometimes I summoned the courage to make “humble” suggestions. I was not a good soldier in the fight against evil because I was afraid of the cost. But sometimes, I had to speak my truth.

    I believe that the role of the journalist is to report the truth. It is not to entertain or inflame the masses. It is a hard job, a noble calling, if you will accept my drama. It is our job as an audience to discern the truth, to separate the wheat from the chaff as directed. Some journalists are true to their calling. Some are in it for the money or fame. We have to be careful to react to the news in a way which will not give kibbles to the people who do evil things in this world. As far as I am concerned, Shkreli is as evil as they come. He may not have killed someone, but his greed may have caused deaths. Medical care should be affordable and available to everyone, in my opinion. To put obscene profit over and above the health of another soul is the root of all evil. The love of money, not the money itself, drives those who have no empathy for others.

    In this Season, in particular, no matter what your religious beliefs are, it is a good time to reflect on the fight between good and evil. Are you a good soldier? What can you do to help someone else who needs help? Are you willing to help? You may not be able to save them, or change their life, but you probably could offer a meal, or some warm clean clothes, or help support a safe place to sleep and seek shelter. Don’t let the Shkreli’s of the world numb your heart.

    • Portia,
      Well stated!!! You are so right!!! Whether you’re spiritual or not, this world we live in, is in a fight between good and evil!!! True!! It’s all over TV!! What is wrong is now right, and what is right is now wrong!!! I’m not afraid to say, you better get your ducks in a row, because I do believe the end is near!!! God help us!!!

  • It seems obvious to me that he pretended to care for her because he was desperate for positive press. Her motivation seems less clear. Clearly this woman is massively disturbed, but surely part of her bizarre behavior is that she thrived on the attention she received. I mean, she got a spread in Elle! This desire for her 15 minutes of fame far out-stripped her commitments to, well, anyone: her employer (journalistic ethics, what’s that?), her husband (marriage vows, what are those?), and to HERSELF (this man is a sociopath who will only burn you once you are no longer useful to him, and, wow, the karma bus has just pulled up and opened the door!).

    • I think some journalists are overly susceptible to the idea of “contrarianism”. When everybody thinks someone is evil, what if – hot take! – he isn’t and they’re the ones to uncover it? However, there’s still a world of difference between writing a puff piece and turning your entire life (and your husband’s!) upside down for such a person.

    • The psychopath believes he can win sympathy and time off for good behavior if he comes across as a victim, or misunderstood, boo-hoo. The psychopath’s puppet believes she is special, sees things others don’t see, has super powers of understanding and telling poor boo-hoo’s story, AND she will be recognized as a super journalist with a book and movie and riches and recognition.

      Both are greedy for money, fame and attention.

      No matter how you look at this story he knowingly overcharged for a life saving product, and defrauded people. Why did he just get 7 years??? She fell for his drivel, and saw her fame coming by telling his sad, sad story. They were both selfish, and tried to use each other. IMHO, they truly deserve each other, but the story is over. No more kibbles. They should be shunned by all decent people.

  • just wow. I skimmed the Elle article. I noted that even as a youth, she lied to her parents instead of facing an unpleasant truth. Taking her sibs to McDonalds instead of church and lying about it. So that pattern was set early. Yeesh.

  • One day, after his pain has subsided, Christie Smythe’s ex-husband will be grateful for dodging a bullet. He’ll be grateful for not breeding with this fuckwit who is part narcissist, sociopath, with a sprinkling of hypergamy.

    If only all such people could be outed so that future potential chumps could be warned. Look out world! She appears to be single and ready to mingle.

  • “At home, Smythe’s stress over Shkreli and her now-uncertain work future compounded her problems with her husband. ‘I’m not going to say it was wrong for him to be concerned,’ she says, but the fights got too sharp and too frequent. They’d been considering divorcing since the start of the year, and decided to move ahead.”

    When you begin a sentence with, “I’m not going to say” you know it’s Opposites Day!! In her delusional way, she did indeed think it was wrong for him to be concerned. (Of course, the chumpy husband was absolutely right to be concerned.)

    Also, as is typical of cheaters, she acts as if fights between her and her now-ex simply emerged organically because, ya know, couples drift apart. She doesn’t say that she started investing in a different relationship, and it was for that reason that her marriage started to go to hell. Blameshifting. False equivalences. We know the drill.

    Ugh. I feel for her ex.

    • Yep. Crazy how your relationship suffers when you start investing into another relationship. Who could’ve guessed that it would cause issues and things would become problematic? It’s not as if the cheater would start to be annoyed by the reality that their spouse has to operate in, or the responsibilities to the spouse, and be eager to fight and cause issues to justify in their minds what they’re doing.

      Just like in my life, so odd that the timeline of our marriage issues coincidently coincided when affairs started. SO WEIRD, RIGHT?

      Self-fulfilling prophecy.

      • Exactly! This drives me nuts. My ex got my initials tattooed on his body 10 years ago. Personally, I’m not into tattoos, nor did I think he was. I mean, if you saw him, you’d think he was the last person to get a tattoo…or have an affair, for that matter!

        Anyway, he started the affair seven years after getting the stupid tattoo (so roughly 3 years ago). That’s when and WHY our relationship went south. And I didn’t even realize there were marriage problems, which speaks to my denial, I guess.

        Toward the end (discard phase), he engineered fights to justify his cheating behavior. “See, we’re not getting along.”

        Now that we are divorced, he tries to claim that he thought of leaving me right about the time he got that tattoo but stayed for some made-up selfless reason. BS!! Why would he get my initials tattooed when he wanted to leave? Also, why didn’t he tell me then that he was unhappy?

        Why? Because he wasn’t unhappy.

        He simply and selfishly decided he wanted to act on the flirtations of a married woman who knew he was married.

        It was his crappy character, not a falling out between us, that caused the affair. And yet, his story is that we fell apart. We were both at fault is his stupid, blameshifting rationale.

        It’s infuriating.

        • Aw yes, I enjoy revisionist history as well. My ex can’t even keep her timeline right or her excuses in order. Tons of blame shifting BS. Always some new excuse of why she cheated which seemed to always be for some perceived thing I did- “I cheated so you could detox from your phone” (My big sin in our marriage was I’d check out Twitter for sports and politics and that of course means I can’t devote 24/7 attention to her). Or my favorite, later describing being financially provided for and getting to live by the beach with her loving husband and two babies, as “miserable.”

          Whatever you got to tell yourself when you’re cheating on your husband with a married man and then having another affair with a high school flame who also had a girlfriend. She trashed me to these men and about how “awful” our marriage was. I guess it was awful. I just wasn’t hip to why it was awful- being with a narc who lies and deceives and gives themselves permission to cheat and discard at the drop of a hat.

          Never buy their BS. They will say anything in the moment; goalposts get moved, every version is an excuse for their actions and a ridiculous scrutiny of you. Hey, another thing I noticed, I stopped being in her social media posts and pictures when her first affair started. Weird how I was so amazing before that and you were “so in love” for the years before that. LOL

          Eff em. I’m made of steel now as I imagine you are too. Impossible to emotionally burn me like that ever again as it woke me from naivety and made me hip to the trash character in so many relationships.

          • “My big sin in our marriage was I’d check out Twitter for sports and politics and that of course means I can’t devote 24/7 attention to her).”

            Well, you’re in good company. Turns out that was my big sin as well. It’s sad to me that I felt I had to defend myself by explaining, “I’m just checking the latest news. Twitter is a news aggregator for me.” This I said as he walked away. That was his go-to move.

            In the land of double standards, he reigned supreme. While he complained about my quickly checking Twitter or, God forgive me, reading in bed, he would spend hours looking at fly fishing videos–porn for fishermen. He did this in bed.

            Much to my regret now, I even tried to get him to see the appeal of Twitter, by explaining to him how it works and how he can follow ORVIS and SIMMS. “Look, you can also follow your favorite sports teams.” *sigh*

            Who was I? I hardly recognize myself. I’m thankfully shedding my old chumpy ways and getting stronger.

            I’m not sure I’ve achieved steel status, but I’m getting there. Good for you, Mills! I like to believe CL when she writes, “Our hearts were forged in a blast furnace” (or something like that).

        • Spinach@35,
          Exactly, after being married for 25 years, (2017) mine started picking fights with me!!! Something I’d never seen before in him! As I look back, I do see he picked those fights to justify his adulterous behavior with a married coworker!! I have lived through the fog and all the “what if’s” and am becoming very happy on my own!! It does take time and there are a lot of triggers. But, I’m thankful I don’t have the drama of lying and cheating to deal with. And of course, no contact works for me because of not having any children by the Scoundrel!!!

          • Goldie, I know exactly what you mean. I never think about that much… But you just reminded me that he started picking these ridiculous little
            -not arguments, but things will just get tense over trying to plan a dinner party or whatever. All of a sudden my wonderful, calm and easy going husband would just get passive aggressive, moody and unhappy over the weirdest things -like me changing the music in the car.
            They have to find fault with us in order to justify their excuse of sudden unhappiness which is supposed to justify their betrayal.
            I never knew that was a sign of cheating. I do now.

            • I know you have read it zip, but for those here who haven’t; look in the archives for the story on the lady who got chased around the house with a pickle. Hilarious.

              It spoke to me because I got chased around the house getting screamed at for running out of salt. Evidently only the most heinous, worthless evil person alive is capable of RUNNING OUT OF SALT. That had to be so frustrating to him and I am betting the comfort of a warm strange twinkie calmed him down.

              • Susie, the mention of salt reminded me of when I was trying to plan a family potluck. I didn’t think it would be great if everybody showed up with the same dish so I thought we could assign categories. He uncharacteristically became very irritable and very condescending – kind of like suggesting that my world was so small that I was overly concerned with salads.
                I didn’t know what was going on, I figured he wanted to do it all himself and that he thought I was being controlling by trying to come up with a plan. I literally left the room because it was getting so tense talking about mayonnaise versus vinaigrette.
                He was cheating and probably planning to leave me before this party was to happen.

          • ????

            It is always amazing how alike they are. It is also kind of comforting, they are not only not special, they are so common as to be cliché.

            • “kind of like suggesting that my world was so small that I was overly concerned with salads.”

              Yep, how dare you try to plan a successful event, while he was focused on the much more important issue of how he was going to get his next thrill. So unsophisticated of you.

      • As Dr. Frank Pittman says to cheaters, “YOU are what is wrong with your marriage.”

  • Someone out to get their 15 minutes of fame…and what a way to do it. To forever be remembered as the “douchebag whisperer.” Sheesh. Self respect and dignity are out the window these days.

    • You can thank media and social media for it. We do everything we can to encourage people to do anything and everything for attention and get validation from strangers. Our society is garbage.

  • This is what happens when narcissists hook up with other narcissists, which I think is often/usually the case. Neither person has boundaries, and they delight in the grandiose image they project on each other. It reminds me of the movie quote from “Sleepless in Seattle” many years ago, when Annie’s brother says to her: “Annie, when you’re attracted to someone, it just means that your subconscious is attracted to their subconscious, subconsciously. So what we think of as fate is just two neuroses knowing that they are a perfect match.”

    Or in this case, two psychoses equal a perfect match. Smythe’s chump has no idea how lucky he is.

    • How many of you all have considered writing a “Thank You” card to your ex spouse’s affair partner for taking out the trash?


      • Me! And I honestly thought of slipping a 50 dollar bill into the card.
        The money is a reward for doing his meals, his laundry, his clean up duty,
        his moods, his laziness, his control of tv remote and his indifference to 3 kids.
        Lucky, lucky slut. What a prize to win. No returns…..ever.

        • See that is what pissed me off when I found out. For at least a year I was doing his laundry, cooking his meals, running his errands and filling in for all the volunteer work he had signed up for, but couldn’t do because he had “meetings”.

          On the up side, I likely would have been doing it for a while longer if someone hadn’t dropped a dime on his late night activities. Plus up until the last couple months still having sex with the asshole.

          Though not as much as I had been a year earlier, I had started to pull away from him, and of course when he was outed; I knew why. The fact that he was criticizing and screaming at me a lot likely cooled my ardor too.

      • Mills,

        Me for one – at this time of year in particular – although I’ll be damned if I’ll give either of them centrality.

        I get to spend another drama-free Christmas with the kids; Ex-Mrs LFTT has never in the 5 years since she had the kids with her at either Christmas or New Year. I guess that they would cramp her style.

        Her AP gets to spend it with her; punishment enough for anyone!


  • I understand that she got dumped by the criminal and she feels free to date around until he gets out of the joint.

    I hope her ex-husband appreciates his new-found freedom!

    The lady in question wrecked her life. I hope she rebuilds it in a healthy way.

  • Devin Arcoleo dodged a bullet. No kids to keep him tethered to a FW for decades.

  • Such an odd story, but the situation isn’t new where someone falls in love with a prisoner because it seems to be a struck-by-thunder love that transcends all obstacles.

    What’s new for me when reading the Elle story is how aggressively she did the pursuing — I always thought it was the incarcerated conning the outsider. But it clearly shows her as the pursuer. Is she getting international kibbles for being dumped and then profiled wearing designer clothes? There’s no real chump when both are sickos.

    Off the Smythe topic: One of my daughter’s elementary school classmates was imprisoned for killing her daughter when the father of the toddler wasn’t doing something she wanted. I came across her prison dating site — Fallen Angels — her profile never mentioned the murder or the fact the judge put on extra time for the viciousness of it.

    • Yep, she made up the whole thing in her head, and he let her go along with it. Schmoopies need to feel busy and important, and that rampant exceptionalism is clearly present – I’m so irresistable and spesh that he won’t be a jerk to me, only to the millions of HIV positive people who could have benefitted enormously from this drug, and still made him well rich.

  • She is back being interviewed by a friend! CL, please stay right here. You are the conduit.

  • I’m appalled but not surprised at how many comments on social media express sympathy for her like she’s some kind of victim. Oh brother. The victim in this story is the husband, not this idiot narcissist. She is reaping what she sowed.

    • Omg, same. It’s infuriating. She was not conned by this man. It was pretty obvious to most everyone what an awful person he was. CL hit the mail on the head that she just wanted to feel like she was special. She had multiple people warning her of all the dangers in pursuing this and she chose not to listen. It’s not even like she didn’t have anyone looking out for her.

      I read that her ex-husband is upset she went public with the story. I hope he knows he does not come across as anything but the sympathetic character in this shitshow.

  • Small but telling detail is that she trolled women journalists being harassed by this creep. It just says a lot about her values that she would attack the credibility of the women, while parading her own presumed “superiority”– “well, he’s always nice to ME–” Fuckwits, both of them.

    • Right. She just didn’t paint the asshole in a sympathetic light, she went after those journalists, she tried to help him legally (which was why he allowed her to be called his fiancée even though they were “life partners”). She’s not a victim!

  • Oh lord, how the botox has aged her. That pic of him with his glasses on in the Elle piece tells me all I need to know about that smug douchewad. Both pieces are super condescending, which I think feeds into the whole, everyone could have seen this coming why didn’t she attitude that we chumps deal with everyday, but in this case she was a schmoopie that got chumped. A very dumb one at that.

  • Have to love the disrespect other professional journalists are vibing on this woman, you can feel the “And you call yourself a reporter?” hanging in the air.

  • She’s a typical ‘celebrity f-cker’ as they used to call them. Anyone that has their name in the media for anything, good or bad, attracts these nitwits. The noteriety turns them on.

  • Ever scroll through and appreciate Tracy’s adorable cartoon avatars? There’s so many and they are so dang cute

    • Yep.

      I think my favorite is the one where the asshole therapist is sitting there, and calmly saying “now let’s talk about how you pushed your husband into another woman’s arms” I about died laughing.

  • The designer of that thing which is supposed to be a dress should be jailed for assault and battery on innocent textiles. My eyes! My eyes!

    Folks, this is exactly how pathetically self deluded cheaters are. She undoubtedly thinks she looks fabulous and comes across as sympathetic. Never envy these losers. We live in the real world. They live in a puffy-sleeved parallel universe.

  • All of this . Reported from her BASEMENT APARTMENT.
    This was the best part and physical affirmation that these cheating FWITS never trade up. Let her rot in the basement while she pines from her tru love felon who told her, and the world in print, to fuck off.

    Congrats to her exH. May he have a wonderful, fuckwit -free future with someone who respects and loves him as a partner.

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