Boy was I wrong about the data dump. Faster than you can say “Noel Biderman is shitting his pants,” free Ashley Madison indexes have sprung up everywhere. Want to check by Ivy League school? Look here. Would you like an index cataloging the various catalogs? Visit this page. So many friendly geeks out there creating tools to find cheaters.
No one could possibly scrub this. It would be like a ginormous game of Whack-a-Mole. The best a cheater can hope for is disavowal.
Josh Duggar: “I have no idea who JesusSpanksMe57 is.”
Wife: “It’s the username attached to your credit card. On various dating sites. All with your banking information.”
Josh Duggar: “I had no idea I had a credit card!”
Yes, Josh Duggar — or someone a lot like him with his username, email, and credit card — appeared on The List — and OKCupid.
But the ones that really blow my mind are the multitudes of cheaters using their work emails. Why should this blow my mind, I don’t know. My cheating ex used his workplace email to conduct affairs. He was a lawyer who billed in 6 minute increments. I’m sure his employers would’ve been delighted to learn he spend so many billable increments chatting with OW. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.
But in the moment where he wanted to conceal his activities from me? An easy choice. I didn’t have access to his work email or phone. The office was his own personal cheater Bat Cave.
I mean, you might reasonably deny the username JesusSpanksMe57, but you can’t really deny your surname and workplace.
Which all goes to underscore points I’ve made about cheaters for years:
1. Affairs don’t “just happen” — they’re planned. No one fills out detailed dating profiles for shits and giggles.
2. The exit affair or the one-night-stand are not the rules, they are the exceptions. Judging by the enormity of this data dump we can conclude that cheaters are recurrent and repeat offenders. They go back to the no-strings-attached sex well over and over again. Serial cheating is a lifestyle.
3. Serial cheating is about entitlement. Special people don’t need precautions (or condoms). Special people don’t get caught. Special people are entitled to double lives because their need for excitement outweighs their chumps’ well-being.
Special, that is, until the day they’re busted.