It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like D-Day

falalalaOne of the lasting “gifts” of infidelity for me is that the holidays can’t roll around without me thinking, “Someone’s going to have a D-Day right about now.”

D-days, otherwise known as “discovery days” or “damn my life is nothing like I thought days” or “dial a lawyer now days”,  can happen anytime, but they’re more prevalent around the holidays. It’s hard for cheaters to juggle their double lives, but it’s doubly hard at the time of year that puts a premium on family togetherness. Worse, the holidays mean gift-giving. The chances of being exposed are exponentially greater.

Schmoopies will demand attention.

Chumps will stumble over receipts for gifts not intended for them.

Children will wonder where mom or dad went — and who works all day on Christmas Eve?

Somewhere a chump is exhausted doing all the holiday prep work alone and unsupported. Somewhere a chump or chump children are expressing needs and desires, putting horrible demands for kibbles upon cheaters. Oppressive demands like “be my date at the office Christmas party” or “We need to drive to my parents and open presents with the kids.”

Most frustrating of all for cheaters is that most of them will get actual time off from work. Offices shutter. Gone are the ready-made excuses for business trips, late meetings, or urgent boss requests. The lies get crazier, a bit more desperate. The disconnect wider. The neglect more obvious.

And things fall apart.

The Other Woman gets uppity. The cheater didn’t leave his family by the appointed hour. She faces another holiday of side dish status. She blows the whistle and calls the chump.

The chump wonders where his wife is. Again. He buys the GPS tracking system at the Black Friday sales.

The cheater gets sloppy. The chump discovers.

Let’s hope Santa brings every new chump a shiny, pit bull lawyer for Christmas. Let’s pray that every chumped child gets a sane parent who even with a devastated heart gives them the gift of heroically showing up and loving them through their pain.  Let’s pray for the true friends who reveal themselves as the Switzerland friends recede. Let’s give thanks for the kind stranger who leaves gifts and groceries to the suddenly single, abandoned mom.

Let’s hope all the newly minted chumps find us and find the better lives they richly deserve.

This column ran previously. Rerun because someone was up too late watching Jones win the Alabama senate seat! #ibelieveinmiracles

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Rebecca
Rebecca
6 years ago

Wait, you mean that cheaters aren’t really working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day????
????
Damn. Wish I knew.

Aeronaut
Aeronaut
6 years ago
Reply to  Rebecca

“Wait, you mean that cheaters aren’t really working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day????”

Oh, they’re working. Working out better excuses. Working out a mattress and box spring with OM/OW.
Working out how they will juggle all this crazy life stuff to keep the kibble train moving.

Oh, you meant honest, productive work, the kind that brings in income for the family? Never mind.

Hugs. Strength. Peace.
aeronaut

Carol
Carol
6 years ago
Reply to  Rebecca

LOL!????????????????????????

SuperDuperChump
SuperDuperChump
6 years ago
Reply to  Rebecca

My Christmas Wish is for all cheaters and affair partners to have their genitals placed in a bear trap, hoisted up in a tree like a pinata, and beaten with antique coal mining equipment.

LuckyChump
LuckyChump
6 years ago

Come on, tell us what you really think Super! LMAO !!!!

Sugarglider
Sugarglider
6 years ago

wow – that’s oddly specific

Leavingthecrapbehind
Leavingthecrapbehind
6 years ago

he he he!!!!

Hurt1
Hurt1
6 years ago

I’ll supply the antique coal mining tools as I live in the anthracite coal area of Northeast Pennsylvania.

StrongerThanIThought
StrongerThanIThought
6 years ago

????

Stigofthechump
Stigofthechump
6 years ago

Gaha that is strangely specific, but I like it!

Jojobee
Jojobee
6 years ago

Brilliant! As Shakespeare would say “hoisted by their own petard.”If their particular petard was a genitalia bear trap…

SuperDuperChump
SuperDuperChump
6 years ago

Did I forget to mention that the rope is tied to the bear trap?

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
6 years ago

I’ll bring the popcorn! LOL!

GoWithYourGut
GoWithYourGut
6 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

I wish we had a “Like” button, or a “LOL” button we could press whenever someone comments something so great as Super Duper Chumps, and NoMoreSkankBoy!!!

MotherChumper99
MotherChumper99
6 years ago

Omg! How original!

Jane
Jane
6 years ago

Bwaaaah-haaaaaaa-haaaaa! Love it !

Sunflower36
Sunflower36
6 years ago
Reply to  Rebecca

In all fairness, I really DID work the holidays last year Christmas Eve/Christmas Day, New Years Eve/Day… and then I was let go on the last day of my 4 day break, on a Friday, January 5. Laid off for a month. Everyone but me got to celebrate their holidays off.

ChumpDiva
ChumpDiva
6 years ago
Reply to  Sunflower36

Ugh! Sunflower36…I hope you have a better job this year. How parallel to the way cheaters work! I’m sorry you were used so badly like that.

unicornomore
unicornomore
6 years ago
Reply to  Rebecca

I bought this story over a Thanksgiving once…I drove my (then little) kids and grandma to a family event 3 states away and he stayed home to “work”.

Golfgrrl
Golfgrrl
6 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Drove to FL from IL with two under 10, then he met me there because he had to “work.” Got to fly. Then was a prick while there and the entire trip home.

Let me do that trip alone for three spring breeaks and another Thanksgiving.

Work. My ass.

Trust. They. Suck.

GoWithYourGut
GoWithYourGut
6 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Isn’t it the worst…when you replay moments like that after you know the truth? So many memories to try to forget and push away.

Georgie
Georgie
6 years ago
Reply to  GoWithYourGut

Yes, GWYG, I now remember the the Christmas Day he went home after we soon arrived as he wasn’t feeling well. Then when I rang to check on him he didn’t answer as he was ‘asleep’.

Manipulatedchump
Manipulatedchump
6 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

The mind games certainly take an ugly turn during the holidays. I know he is lying and rather than admit the lies and move on he tells more lies and then attacks my integrity/sanity or makes some wild comparison to attempt to justify his actions. That, to me, is the worst part. That someone who said they loved me is making me question myself like never before, especially during the holidays

ArtistFormerlyKnownAsChump
ArtistFormerlyKnownAsChump
6 years ago

That’s gaslighting, be careful lovely. Xxx

MyIntuitionWasRight
MyIntuitionWasRight
6 years ago

This is so true. Pay attention to what happens around the holidays. My D Day was late October, but I was still filled with hopium over the holidays, but…I was prepping alone for my ex to just pop over for the main event…got exercise bands as a Christmas present…months later found a pic of him and the OW together on Christmas Eve on Instagram. Pay attention to their gross behavior over the holidays…it can move you closer to the other side.

Hope49
Hope49
6 years ago

I remember the Christmas season long ago when my son was just 3 mos. old. I had scheduled a portrait picture of us three and was very excited. I bought a special little outfit for our son in royal blue velvet with suspenders and a boy tie. My husband showed up wanting it over and done with quickly. He turned to me and said, “Well, I showed up.” He was then out of there and back to work. I wanted to kind of linger around the Mall and maybe have lunch with him. Nope! It was a year later and he was in full affair mode with his office manager. My son is now 22. Every time I look at that picture, I recall my husband’s glib pronouncement that he ‘showed up’ and had done his part. Unfortunately, I spent two decades doing a whole lot of spackling thereafter and mental gymnastics. Sigh.. Yet, I have so much clarity now- I did not then. Also, a lot more courage and resolve to stop loving an empty vessel.

Chumparican
Chumparican
6 years ago
Reply to  Hope49

Things do become clearer don’t they. This is my first Christmas after D day. But last year around this time he was already involved with OW. we were visiting my family and he was just a total jerk. This year started on a downhill spyral and with me confused and totally distraught at seeing my marriage crumble around me and not being able to pick up the pieces fast enough to put it together. I too spackled a lot and got played like a fiddle. And now nearly a year later I see it all. And I see how I got played and it infuriates me for allowing it. I worked so hard at trying to make.him happy while he stood in the sidelines doing nothing. Telling me he just didn’t have the energy nor the desire to work on the marriage but I would not give up. I found out by his own admission on March after I demanded an answer. Of course he played the victim. Just like you say I now have the courage and resolve tok stop loving an empty vessel.

WonderNoMore
WonderNoMore
6 years ago

Mine was late October also! Seems a bit common. Then Christmas time was the proof after Wreckonciliation. What a freak the way he torchered me with Cheater weirdness. Ugh.

Sausalito
Sausalito
6 years ago
Reply to  WonderNoMore

Chalk me up for another late October DDay, weird. Tried to hold it together through the holidays for the kids. I should have known it was doomed when Assholio looked around at us after Christmas, and said, “well, that’s wasn’t so bad.” Like he was surprised that we were actually tolerable compared to his whore.

MyRedSandals
MyRedSandals
6 years ago

MyIntuitionWasRight:

Ditto for me. XH dropped the D-Day bomb in mid-October and 3 days later, he moved out while I was at church. I was still shell-shocked at Thanksgiving and spent the day (previously, my favorite holiday) totally alone. Then Christmas rolled around.. all of our kids said they would be in town, so I invited XH to join us. He said he didn’t want to stay at the house, so he got a room at a nearby hotel. He joined us for 2 meals but the tension was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. XH literally ate his meals with his head down, never said a word to anyone, and escaped back to his hotel as soon as possible. I kept wondering why he even agreed to come if he was going to act that way. One of our sons asked XH if he could join him at the hotel so they’d have time to catch up. XH said yes, but once they arrived at the hotel, XH changed into his pajamas, got in bed, turned the light out, and went to sleep, stranding my son there with nothing to do and no one to talk to. That was the last time I invited XH to join us for anything.

Of course, Debbie Does Dallas was enjoying the holidays with her own husband, children and grandchildren, and those poor people were completely oblivious to the fact that she’d already been sleeping with my husband for at least 6 months. Her family didn’t experience their own D-Day for 2 more years!

Try as I might, I’ve not been able to enjoy the holidays since. Each year, I seem to decorate less than the year before; last year, I gave away at least half of the holiday decorations we’d accumulated over 40 years, and this year, I stopped right after putting a wreath on the front door. Maybe someday, I’ll get my holiday mojo back, but since my kids are never here on the holiday itself, I see no point in decorating the house just for me; I don’t care enough to go to all that trouble.

Jo
Jo
6 years ago
Reply to  MyRedSandals

That’s cool. I really scaled back the holiday decor in my space, too. Just not really feeling it. This gaining a life deal is about finding out what we truly want. What works for us, what energizes us. Like you, I’m open to the possibility of holiday mojo coming back someday, but not today. I prefer to celebrate this season by reading good books I’ve been putting off.

MyIntuitionWasRight
MyIntuitionWasRight
6 years ago
Reply to  MyRedSandals

Thank you for sharing. The selfishness of these pricks is too much for warm blooded people to comprehend! I ended up moving out and have a brand new tree with new ornaments!

Sugar Plum
Sugar Plum
6 years ago

My “Christmas” DDay was actually in March, but CL is dead on for the holidays being harder to mask the affair. In my case, my cheater was having a pity party about missing Christmas because he was working in Afghanistan. I surprised him with a wonderful homecoming March Christmas. I received permission for 3 nights to put all the outdoor Christmas lights back up. I bust d my ass to get all of the decorations up…again. I made a huge Christmas meal. Our oldest son snuck Hime from school for a few days with his girlfriend and was hiding in the house. Tons of gifts under the tree….and then he proceeded to treat me like shit. It was so obvious that both boys, even the oldest who hero worshipped his father, were pissed at him for treating me so bad. While the whole family was around opening gifts and excited for getting Christmas a second time, he couldn’t even be bothered to fake excitement. He refused to eat Christmas dinner with us, opting to finish his video games. Seems Shrek wasn’t happy that he wasn’t with her. So he was doing damage control. DDay was a week later. So even when it’s not the real holiday, they still manage to screw up Christmas until you divorce them and go out and make new, wonderful memories. So happy to finally have my Christmases back and only pleasant, stress-free memories to push the unpleasant ones aside. Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life!

GoWithYourGut
GoWithYourGut
6 years ago
Reply to  Sugar Plum

I have so many moments I can recall, of my STBXH’s bad attitude, that I now know were all because I was interrupting his rendezvous with his whore. How dare I prevent him from doing what he wanted to do!? How dare I actually ask and practically beg for him to come home and spend time watching a movie with the family? Only to make me regret it completely because he’s in such a horrible, woe-is-me mood. Then immediately after the movie’s over, he has to go out for something he forgot at the store.

So glad he’s off living in his own place now.

Zell
Zell
6 years ago
Reply to  Sugar Plum

That’s some amazing effort on your part to do all that for him. Turns out he didn’t deserve any of that extra effort. You deserved better.

MidlifeBlast
MidlifeBlast
6 years ago

Gosh, public picture? This whole post is making my heart break, I feel for anyone who I going through this now

srfrgrl
srfrgrl
6 years ago

Gives a whole new meaning to “Ho Ho Ho”.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago
Reply to  srfrgrl

😉

Jane
Jane
6 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

ROFL !!

AlohaFreedom
AlohaFreedom
6 years ago

Why did they all say they are working on Christmas eve?! I would call stbxh out on that lie immediately before we separated.

Last year we had a court order finally. So he had Xmas eve from the morning until 6:30pm. I brought the kids to his parent’s house for his visit. He showed up for his parent’s Christmas eve party at 6:00pm. My older two children had spent a few hours prior asking where he was and why he was missing the party. He arrived in nice jeans and a button up shirt but claimed he was working outside in the cold and snow. Sure.

Then he had the nerve to lie to the children about Christmas gifts he got them but never gave them and beg me to allow him to come to my house for Christmas morning. No thanks. That didn’t happen last year and won’t happen this year.

May our holidays be merry and cheater free!

Stalked, name changed
Stalked, name changed
6 years ago

The OW wrote to me on Christmas morning of our planned gender reveal to expose my spouse’s secret affair.

(And she told my ex what she did, so he tampered with the messages and they didn’t come through until later. But just reading all those dozens of messages and knowing it was her intent to hurt a pregnant mother with 3 preschoolers on Christmas morning is really difficult for me.)

And while I’d obviously much rather know about the affair so I could make informed decisions with accurate information, her messages were so unkind, bullying, and unnecessarily pornographic.

No M’am, I don’t want to know how many times you “got off” or how sore your bottom is…

And while I realize the affair is very much so mostly my former spouse’s betrayal to me (she’s the type of OW who doesn’t feel any female solidarity) it is difficult to wrap my mind around the OW’s decision to not only intentionally hurt me on Christmas morning- but during a gender reveal as well.

Happy Holidays to CL and CN! I am so thankful for this wonderful community. ❤️

Langele
Langele
6 years ago

He got what he deserved

Doingme
Doingme
6 years ago

Stalked

When I see the type of person it takes to send a pregnant mother of three young children messages like the ones you recieved, i think, THIS is what the EX chose.

Dodged a huge fucking bullet right there. To think any human being has this capability is sickening.

And years out truthfully -no one really cares other than Chumps. Sorry you had to suffer through this.

He allowed that; the one who should have been there.

He doesn’t get to control you anymore. Wishing you peace.

Stalked
Stalked
6 years ago
Reply to  Doingme

Doingme,

I couldn’t agree with you more, well put. Wishing you peace as well.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
6 years ago

That OW is filth, even more than the usual. I feel hatred for her just reading your post. I sincerely hope she is still with your ex, because she is guaranteed to eventually make his life a living hell.

Stalked
Stalked
6 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

GladIt’sOver,

I have no idea if they are together. I certainly didn’t know while we were married, living together, and going to ultrasounds together.

I am also so glad it’s over! Happy Holidays to you!

BowTie
BowTie
6 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

Yeah – they can be.

Mme YogaPants – my STBX – was OW to a married police officer and once bragged to me about how she called his wife to gloat on how she was screwing her husband. That was a couple of months in to our relationship but before I had proposed. I should have run then.

Oh – and she kept trophies from that relationship in a box that I hated for the next nearly 30 years.

Stalked
Stalked
6 years ago
Reply to  BowTie

BowTie,

Gloating to the betrayed spouse AND a trophy box, yuck! I’m so glad you are moving on to better and happier things!

Tessie
Tessie
6 years ago

Boy, that really makes me hate them both on your behalf. I would call them slime mold but that would be an insult to slime mold everywhere.

Stalked
Stalked
6 years ago
Reply to  Tessie

Tessie,

Lol, we wouldn’t want to insult slime mold ????. Happy Holidays and peace to you.

MotherChumper99
MotherChumper99
6 years ago

Stalked, you were abused by these heinous POD “people.”

I hope this year is filled with peace, and love, and laughter! Not a cheater in sight.

Stalked
Stalked
6 years ago

Thank you, MotherChumper99! Peace, love, and laughter to you as well!

livefortoday2
livefortoday2
6 years ago

Horrid. So sorry. I hope life is better for you now an your kiddos. Big hug.

Stalked
Stalked
6 years ago
Reply to  livefortoday2

Livefortoday2, life is very much better for the kids and me too, thank you. Big hug back to you!

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
6 years ago

I hope you have found the peace and happiness you are due.
They suck.
They really, really suck!
I hope they stay together a long time as impression management and make each other miserable.

MyRedSandals
MyRedSandals
6 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

Vindictive bitch!

Stalked
Stalked
6 years ago
Reply to  MyRedSandals

Thanks y’all! ❤️

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

I hope the ow laughs herself into backing off a cliff and plummets to her death mid-gloat… But I’m feeling a little punchy today, so maybe I’ve got a bit more vitriol to spew than usual. 😉

unicornomore
unicornomore
6 years ago

That is horrible, HORRIBLE…Im so sorry

Twitching
Twitching
6 years ago

Sweet home Alabama!! I’m so glad we don’t have to hang our heads in shame this morning!

My ex moved out on Thanksgiving Day while I took my kids to see my parents. He didn’t come because he had to “work.” When we got home he was putting his last load in the car. He said: You knew I was moving out.

No. No, I didn’t. And then I had to tell the kids.

chutesandladders
chutesandladders
6 years ago
Reply to  Twitching

Thanks, Alabama!

Got-a-brain
Got-a-brain
6 years ago
Reply to  Twitching

What a dirt bag!

MidlifeBlast
MidlifeBlast
6 years ago
Reply to  Twitching

Good riddance bad rubbish. I’m sorry you had to live with rubbish

Whatringofhellisthis
Whatringofhellisthis
6 years ago

Last year we bought tickets to his work Christmas party and I bought a dress. He decided to punish me for working late before year end. A time of year i have no choice but to do a few late days to end my year strong. He wanted my income and bonus but also required me to be home “being a wife” even if he was out. The day before he said “watch how it’s done… You’re not going”. He got dressed up and left and said he’ll tell me when he leaves to go to the bar for the after-party. Like an asshole i waited but he never told me to meet up. It was a trick so I wouldn’t go out while he was gone. If I showed up happy pretty and fun how could he continue to tell them I’m a fat ugly nag that he’s divorcing.
His late Christmas present came a few months later… a shiny pitbull lawyer that he can play with all year long. My gift that keeps on giving. ????

Grendel
Grendel
6 years ago

????????????????

Tempest
Tempest
6 years ago

That’s horrible, WhatRing. I hope your STBX enjoys that pitbull lawyer of yours!

I know a chump whose cheating H did ask her to come to the holiday party where the married OW would be. He asked her to wear her frumpiest dress (presumably to advertise to the OW what a deficient wife he had). Cruel, just cruel.

Whatringofhellisthis
Whatringofhellisthis
6 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Absolutely horrible. The opposite of a spouse. To set you up to be inferior… I mean it’s hard to even comprehend. Twisted ass backwards soul suckers.

I’ve reached another inner ring of hell. I have satisfaction that he hates my lawyer more than anyone on the planet ????… but he’s upping his evil to match her force. She told me she’s having a blast. Me not so much.

MotherChumper99
MotherChumper99
6 years ago

May I present Exhibit A, ladies and gentlemen? Proof that he SUCKS!!!!! (Otherwise known as a psychopath, sociopath, narcissist with borderline personality disorder, no empathy or compassion). Nothing to work with.

Whatringofhellisthis
Whatringofhellisthis
6 years ago

When it’s so bad that you can’t even spackle or make excuses for the behavior…. you’re right, it’s a cluster B, and there’s nothing to work with.

Got-a-brain
Got-a-brain
6 years ago

I have a friend who’s husband does this to her at every holiday! He uninvites her to his families holiday gatherings! The horrible pain she goes through every time is awful to watch. I’m sorry, I have a first hand seat to how aweful that is.

BTW, I really don’t think her husband is cheating, he doesn’t go out ever, and when he does it’s usually with their son. I just think he’s an emotionally abusive prick.

Jojobee
Jojobee
6 years ago
Reply to  Got-a-brain

Don’t be so sure. My ex was the type that was always home for dinner at 5 PM. Never went out with “the boys.” Somehow managed to fit hookers into the workday. Also, don’t assume he isn’t just taking the kids on his grownup “playdate.” After my ex left I found pictures of him, OW, my kids, and her kids, at the beach. They are disgusting.

Judith
Judith
6 years ago
Reply to  Jojobee

My ex did all his cheating during the work day. It took me that much longer to figure out, despite having a nagging feeling. I know to trust my instincts better now.

WisedUp
WisedUp
6 years ago
Reply to  Judith

Same here. My Ex is a home repair handyman and he fucks women and men in their homes that he is working in. Always home by 5, actually was always home whenever I got home from work. So many times as I neared our house in my car I would pray he wasn’t home yet so I could have half an hour of peace alone. Walking on eggshells every day as I never knew how bad of a mood he would be in. So glad that shit is out of my life now.

Paintwidow
Paintwidow
6 years ago
Reply to  WisedUp

Mine is a firefighter/ paramedic. He’s an officer so he has his own private room when he would work a 24 hour shift.
He had sex there many times…..and my “friends” at the station knew it.
Bro code was more important than telling me.
It’s the OW’s problem now.

BeTrueToYourself
BeTrueToYourself
6 years ago
Reply to  Judith

Mine too. Meet ups with hookers during work hours. I sensed detachment from him and queried why he was shaving his genitals but he gaslighted and I had no idea. It was such a shock.

Whatringofhellisthis
Whatringofhellisthis
6 years ago

I wouldn’t have known shaved junk was a sign of hookers during work. I hope it didn’t take a long time for you to find out the truth after your gut feeling.

BowTie
BowTie
6 years ago

Part of how exciting I am includes that I read a lot of historical fiction from the “age of sail” 😛

From what I have read it was a practice sometimes for new recruits to be shaved completely to keep the lice population down …..

Just sayin …

EyesOpenNow
EyesOpenNow
6 years ago

Wow, I’m speechless. What a complete asshole. I’m so glad you got him that awesome late Christmas present! You are mighty!!

Whatringofhellisthis
Whatringofhellisthis
6 years ago
Reply to  EyesOpenNow

Thanks ????
I realized after New Years last year that I just refuse to be punished anymore by my husband. He turned up the heat too much and instead of his control increasing I bolted.
He’s still punishing me even with me not there. He’s destroying my stuff and doing everything that he knows will hurt me. No one seems to be able to help me. The legal system sucks. He’s not a regular civilian narc he knows exactly what to do. Hes got mind of a criminal and the power to get away with it.

Laughing Gator
Laughing Gator
6 years ago

My lawyer told me straight out “if you ever want to feel what injustice is, go to family court”.
He also said “you are going to get screwed in the divorce it just matters how badly, do what I say and we will minimize the damage”.

Basically my ex had been planning the divorce for several years and gullible trusting me walked into the trap.
Still, I made it through and am a million times happier today and so will you. Things can be replaced and freedom from abuse and happiness are priceless. Good luck !

Mandie101
Mandie101
6 years ago

I’m an attorney and I have no faith in the legal system where divorce is concerned.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago
Reply to  EyesOpenNow

Yay!

Whatringofhellisthis
Whatringofhellisthis
6 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

????we all have the mighty in us even when we think we don’t. Even if you sign the papers with a shaky hand. Still mighty.

50 Chump
50 Chump
6 years ago

Two weeks after Dday last year my wife planned a Xmas Sing along at a senior home last year with our daughter, Mr. Cockinpants, his daughter, and the rest of the girls teammates. They sang while Mr.C played the piano.

Fa la la la la, fuck them both!

SuperDuperChump
SuperDuperChump
6 years ago
Reply to  50 Chump

Just a public service announcement.

If a piano doesn’t fit up a guy’s ass, a Tony Lama boot fits nicely.

Geode
Geode
6 years ago

Both are good ideas. And great visuals! ????

Aeronaut
Aeronaut
6 years ago

^^^ That.

Well put, SuperDuperChump

Paintwidow
Paintwidow
6 years ago

Stalked….he’s awful and so is she, but if she’s anything like the schmoopie in my scenario she doesn’t think she’s awful (and neither does he unless it’s to fane remorse to get something.)
I wish directions to this website were given to people on their wedding day. Like….”we hope you never need it, but just Incase…”
I had no idea holiday d days were a thing. I know that my ex almost ALWAYS fought with me on Christmas to the point that he could storm out and leave. Hindsight….
My dickhead ex let me make a beautiful dinner for our family on New Years Eve. He ate it, told our kids to clear the table, asked if he could talk to me for a second…..then took me In our bedroom, closed the door, and asked me for divorce.
17 years married, 20 together.
Boom.
3 years and a good atty later and I have a much better life. I’m glad he’s gone. He’s another awful person and so is she. May she stay long enough to get the other half and leave him living in s refrigerator box.#myxmaswish.
3 preschoolers and your gender reveal on Christmas and that’s when she chooses to tell you???? Just wow.
I hate them for you. I wish you and your kids a Merry Asshole free Christmas.

Stalked
Stalked
6 years ago
Reply to  Paintwidow

Paintwidow, Merry Asshole Free Christmas to you too!!

mocham
mocham
6 years ago
Reply to  Paintwidow

Merry Asshole Free Christmas! The best!

ZENmaster
ZENmaster
6 years ago
Reply to  mocham

OMG! Best wish ever! Thank you for that, I’m going to put it on a big poster in my house to remind myself how lucky I am!

Wormfree2017
Wormfree2017
6 years ago
Reply to  Paintwidow

Paintwidow I always wondered why the Worm was in such a foul mood around every holiday.
Now it all makes sense!
He would always disappear to “go pick up a few things” leaving me to do everything.
Reading all of these stories makes me realize how long his cheating went on.

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
6 years ago

I pray regularly that good chumps everywhere find this wonderful place.

For any who do so today I want you to know it gets better. You don’t think it can possibly get better but it does. Once the disorder is out of your life it becomes filled with peace and truth. Those are good things. They are wonderful things. Yes, it will hurt like hell for awhile but then it will get better. Then you do some work on yourself and it can be incredible.

My D-Day was on my birthday, a little different than Christmas but still a day you want to remember. I never thought that I could enjoy my birthday again, but over two years out and I am here to tell you I had the most wonderful birthday .this year, better than any I had with Narkles the Clown in my life. My holidays are also better than any I had with him in my life. So much less stressful! I can’t believe how easy the holidays can be. Decades of not understanding how people can find this time of year so great. Now that the disorder is out of my life I get it. I can enjoy it. You will too!

ChumpDiva
ChumpDiva
6 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

Alloutofkibble…#metoo for birthday ruined. My dday was the next day, but I discovered why he never answered my texts on bday, because sexting the skank took priority…they met…at our house…complete with this shit: ???????? sprinkled all over their mushy messages. He’s 64 and acted like he didn’t know how to text or use Fb. She was 45, married, worked for cheaterpants & dresses like she’s 14, posts snapchat pics like one, too.
Happy frigging birthday, right? I’m sorry yours was screwed, too, Allout. But now, I’m looking at it like I started my next year of life with endless possibilities now that that 220# cinderblock is no longer chained to my ankles! I had no idea how oppressive he was in all facets of my life until he was gone. I’m starting to feel like Scrooge when he realizes he’s still alive & has the power to change his future. Thank God for CL & CN.

MotherChumper99
MotherChumper99
6 years ago
Reply to  ChumpDiva

Omg! This!
“my next year of life with endless possibilities now that that 220# cinderblock is no longer chained to my ankles! I had no idea how oppressive he was in all facets of my life until he was gone. I’m starting to feel like Scrooge when he realizes he’s still alive & has the power to change his future. Thank God for CL & CN.”

Yes! ????

Sunflower36
Sunflower36
6 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

Mine told me he was leaving me on my 49th birthday. The next year, I was dating a man who blew off my 50th birthday and then blamed me for it.

We aren’t dating any more.

brit
brit
6 years ago
Reply to  Sunflower36

D-day for me was Mother’s day.., they’re ruthless.

Wormfree2017
Wormfree2017
6 years ago
Reply to  brit

I found out Mother’s Day Eve when I drove to the OW’s house, knocked on the door and found out she was introducing him to her parents……

Sunflower36
Sunflower36
6 years ago
Reply to  brit

Oh! Mother’s Day I got to tell my girls who exactly the woman my ex was moving into his house was. He wouldn’t, so I made she they knew.

Newlady15
Newlady15
6 years ago

Mine ruined thanksgiving . Christmas was awful since he wanted to come “home” and spend it with me and my kids( whatever you say Oliveman). Don’t let him come back for Christmas. Let schmoopie have him!!

Finishline
Finishline
6 years ago

Funny, he promised to help me with all the greenery that we put on the outside of our house with lights. He came home so drunk he was unable to even move off of the couch. I ended up doing it with my kids. They both asked him why he didn’t think he could help- he couldn’t answer, was so drunk. Loser. The next year after he moved out the ex took the kids on a fancy Hawaiian vacation at the time of our final mediation which was week of Christmas. I’ll never forget being able to call him on the 23rd to try to figure out final deliberations and nailing him so hard with all of the facts I kept secret. At that point he didn’t even know how much data I really had on him. Turned out to be awesome and my lawyer did a great job getting me what I needed for my family and I removed forward, free of his toxic waste lifestyle.

Finishline
Finishline
6 years ago
Reply to  Finishline

*family and I as we moved forward.. but I do like how autocorrect used “removed”, because that’s what we do, we REMOVE the toxic waste from our lives and move on!

Beth
Beth
6 years ago

The Edgar Suit and I started dating at Christmas in 1982, got engaged at Christmas in 1987, and had “our” first DDay when I found OWs contact info in his address book when I was addressing our family Christmas cards in 2007. My biggest regret is that I pick-me danced another 4 years before DDay #2 and smoked the Hopium for ANOTHER 2 years after that. Don’t be like me. Trust that they suck as soon as they show their true colors and get yourself started on the road to meh. This is the first Christmas I’ve truly felt like myself and not a sad zombie going through a minimal amount of motions for the sake of my kids.

For all those Chumps going through this hell for the first time or the tenth time, bless you, stay strong and know that life truly, truly is better when you leave a cheater. You don’t just gain a life, you get YOU back and that is precious. {{{hugs}}}

Fern
Fern
6 years ago
Reply to  Beth

So true Beth. Wise words indeed.

Nomorecamping
Nomorecamping
6 years ago

Thanksgiving 2 years ago – yearly camping trip – he was nasty and texting Ow. They’d been sleeping together a few months by then. Our daughter would want attention but he was too busy going out to do his new hobby of taking pictures (sleeping with ow). His family came for Christmas (which he wanted to cancel) and he sulked the whole time. We crowded around the table – there was no room for him so he had to sit by the stove. He was so mad that he was forced away from sitting at the table.

How ironic.

He was kicked out on Jan 11th and the locks changed.

Divorce being finalized now.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago
Reply to  Nomorecamping

YES! You are mighty.

BowTie
BowTie
6 years ago

I recall a study from a while ago that indicated statistically that just prior to holidays such as Christmas and Valentines was the most common time for break-ups to happen. In part so that people get out of having to buy a gift as well as the reasons that Tracy mentions. In my case it was my birthday when Mme told me she was leaving but not why. I had to find that out for myself. Oh – and I got a generic card and my cake was cupcakes from the grocery store.

The subject of bull-dog lawyers prompted me to post – albeit slightly off topic. Mme got herself a pit-bull who was indeed a very formidable woman. They aren’t to be feared – they are just bullies. Since IRL I will occasionally deal with aggressive, unreasonable people it was actually somewhat entertaining going eyebrow to eyebrow with her. As a tip and I have no idea if this actually “worked” or not, I tried to undermine her relationship with her client by identifying items where Mme had lied to her own lawyer and also that she was Mme’s 4th lawyer. I was told by my own lawyer (they all know each other) that her counterpart didn’t try nearly as hard for her client as she would have usually. I tried to not be too push about it, just a couple of side comments as I didn’t want her to lose yet another lawyer and have to start all over again.

As far as the “eyebrow to eyebrow” thing goes, it helped that I was prepared and nearly 2 years out from DDay. If it had happened a year previously, I would have been a blubbering mess.

Pre – Merry Christmas to all! My tree is up although the decorations are sparse because I split them after last year giving any of the “us” decorations to Mme. Today I sign the papers to transfer the house title into just my name. The cats are snoozing in a warm spot, my son is still snoring in his room after a long shift at work.

Life is good and even though I am having some difficulties as this season rolls through as most of us do.

I honestly don’t know what Mme is up to this season. Last year I’m pretty sure she and her guy were not together although she love-bombed him into submission in the new year. As far as evidence points, she’s spending a second Christmas alone in her apartment having been demoted to “side piece” by her guy as far as I can tell. But – I don’t know that and it’s none of my “affair”. The woman that used to post all the details of her life online has been silent since Mother’s Day 2016 other than “poor me” memes.

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
6 years ago
Reply to  BowTie

Merry Christmas to you, BowTie!!!
Excellent post, stay mighty!!!

Differently Chumped
Differently Chumped
6 years ago

That is some siiick shit. He left the computer out for bait and then watched your face (through the webcam) as you read and discovered the emails?
What kind of f-ed up emotional voyeurism is that?!?!? Every cell in my body is creeped out right now. That is 10x worse than the toilet cam guys.

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
6 years ago

Sorry about posting the same thing twice, dunno how I did that.

Yeah, creepy and sick bastard the exh is known around these here parts as The Evil One.

Three months straight today no child support, but I am A-OK.
He is a sick bastard, his OWIFE, Mrs. Dumb-Ass can have him. He married her less than 60 days after our divorce was final.
As of this moment, I still haven’t been introduced to her, she won’t even look my way at pick-up and drop-off

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
6 years ago

Same here, Special Snowflake ha!
Third Christmas since D-Day/divorce (within 6 months of each other, gotta love Alabama divorce court) that I have been Evil One-cheater free.
I have always been a decorator for Christmas, putting out all kinds of knick-knacks, Santa pics of my kids through the years, festive crap around the house. This year’s tree will be full of Dollar Tree ornaments since DD loves to rearrange them daily. I haven’t set it up this year yet ’cause I’ve been lazy, but if I keep it up until Easter, oh well. I don’t have that bastard Evil One bah-humbugging skulking around
.the last Christmas we were together (I didn’t know it was our last one) his parents didn’t send me a single present, not even a card….he acted pissed, but loved the $500 new set of tires for his Shit-erado they bought him. They actually sent DD a set of bedroom decor and bathroom decor from a Disney movie —- seriously, not one single toy (she was 6). Honestly, who sends a six-year-old bedroom and bathroom decor?!?!
I honestly don’t think there was anything under the tree that morning for me from him, I think he bought me a blanket a few days later, can’t remember…

D-Day was in the following March, two weeks after my birthday in which he bought me a super-nice, full of loving sentiments signed I love you”

Every year, he would send an 100-item list for his “Christmas wish list” out to his family and post on his Facebook page and expected each and every item under the tree..he would actually say to me that I “should know” what to get him…I wanted to scream, “how bout a job you’ll keep for more than 6 months, eh??? Think I can wrap that one up???” Never did dare, but still…

I’ve made a few wreaths for myself, and they are out.
I’ll set up the tree

After DDay I found out from one of his family members that he had been telling his parents and people I didn’t know that I had agreed to divorce, etc. Therefore, his parents decided not to send me anything. For the record, I was totally clueless.

My DDay was beyond compare…for most of the Chump Nation vets, I’m sure you’re familiar with my story, for the newbies, I’ll try to be brief:

The short version is that one Saturday night, he left me and DD to go to a”bonfire truckers wake” for a fellow trucker at work that died suddenly and unexpectedly. He also left his laptop up and openly running— I decided to dig around into his computer and he was in real-time chatting on Facebook messenger with a woman that I knew telling her that he was leaving me soon and getting his own place, among other things. I also got into his email, and saw that he had been sending requests for sex to Craigslist sex ads, as well as messages out to realtors…I copied and pasted everything I could and put it all on a jump drive. I went to do something and when I went back to the email account, I saw that everything had been deleted from his Inbox, but not his sent file, Idiot.
I didn’t confront nor crumble. That Monday, I changed my insurance beneficiaries, my lawyer, etc. I got my ducks in a row…. A week later, he hacked into my computer and saw that I knew. He denied everything, and when I went to show him on his computer the sent messages, he slammed his laptop shut saying he wasn’t doing this, that he was done.
He moved out a month later to his slut-shack—- two weeks after I had had an abdominal hysterectomy and hernia repair surgery back-to-back, but came back a few days later and I fell for his “I love you…I’m sorry I hurt you…” so I let him back in. It didn’t go well.

I found out that he didn’t have the money to turn on the gas for his slut-shack’s hot water heater, so… Yep, you guessed it. He played me for hot water.

During this wreckonciliation, I asked him about his laptop, and he admitted to me:
(Brace yourselves chumps)
He had been watching me discover his cheating and plans to leave me. He activated his laptops webcam on his phone and he watched me discover that my husband of 13 years was not only a cheater, but also quite evil.
It took everything in me not to explode, but I feigned feeling I’ll from surgery and went to “take a bath”. I suddenly felt quite filthy and dirty.
Needless to say, wreckonciliation didn’t last much longer after that. I tossed him out a few days later.
Two and a half years later, I can honestly say that the pain I felt back then has evaporated.
I re-claimed my space, my self, my sense of self-worship. Everything good and clean and ha

Special Snowflake ha!
Special Snowflake ha!
6 years ago
Reply to  BowTie

Bow tie,

Great post! Now, get yourself and the kids to the store and buy a few new ornaments. They don’t have to be expensive, just things you like. Or make your own. Changing the decorations on the tree with your kids helps you all reclaim it as YOUR holiday.

I take fake poinsettia bushes, cut them to individual stems and fill in the blank spaces. It looks great, is cheap, and makes it mine. Third year out and nothing reminds me of Mr Bah Humbug anymore. The kids and I replaced everything, little by little, until it is just ours again.

To all new Chumps, it will get so much better. Take back your holidays, birthdays and special memories by eradicating all signs of the Cheater.

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
6 years ago

Same here, Special Snowflake ha!
Third Christmas since D-Day/divorce (within 6 months of each other, gotta love Alabama divorce court) that I have been Evil One-cheater free.
I have always been a decorator for Christmas, putting out all kinds of knick-knacks, Santa pics of my kids through the years, festive crap around the house. This year’s tree will be full of Dollar Tree ornaments since DD loves to rearrange them daily. I haven’t set it up this year yet ’cause I’ve been lazy, but if I keep it up until Easter, oh well. I don’t have that bastard Evil One bah-humbugging skulking around
.the last Christmas we were together (I didn’t know it was our last one) his parents didn’t send me a single present, not even a card….he acted pissed, but loved the $500 new set of tires for his Shit-erado they bought him. They actually sent DD a set of bedroom decor and bathroom decor from a Disney movie —- seriously, not one single toy (she was 6). Honestly, who sends a six-year-old bedroom and bathroom decor?!?!
I honestly don’t think there was anything under the tree that morning for me from him, I think he bought me a blanket a few days later, can’t remember…

D-Day was in the following March, two weeks after my birthday in which he bought me a super-nice, full of loving sentiments signed I love you”

Every year, he would send an 100-item list for his “Christmas wish list” out to his family and post on his Facebook page and expected each and every item under the tree..he would actually say to me that I “should know” what to get him…I wanted to scream, “how bout a job you’ll keep for more than 6 months, eh??? Think I can wrap that one up???” Never did dare, but still…

I’ve made a few wreaths for myself, and they are out.
I’ll set up the tree

After DDay I found out from one of his family members that he had been telling his parents and people I didn’t know that I had agreed to divorce, etc. Therefore, his parents decided not to send me anything. For the record, I was totally clueless.

My DDay was beyond compare…for most of the Chump Nation vets, I’m sure you’re familiar with my story, for the newbies, I’ll try to be brief:

The short version is that one Saturday night, he left me and DD to go to a”bonfire truckers wake” for a fellow trucker at work that died suddenly and unexpectedly. He also left his laptop up and openly running— I decided to dig around into his computer and he was in real-time chatting on Facebook messenger with a woman that I knew telling her that he was leaving me soon and getting his own place, among other things. I also got into his email, and saw that he had been sending requests for sex to Craigslist sex ads, as well as messages out to realtors…I copied and pasted everything I could and put it all on a jump drive. I went to do something and when I went back to the email account, I saw that everything had been deleted from his Inbox, but not his sent file, Idiot.
I didn’t confront nor crumble. That Monday, I changed my insurance beneficiaries, my lawyer, etc. I got my ducks in a row…. A week later, he hacked into my computer and saw that I knew. He denied everything, and when I went to show him on his computer the sent messages, he slammed his laptop shut saying he wasn’t doing this, that he was done.
He moved out a month later to his slut-shack—- two weeks after I had had an abdominal hysterectomy and hernia repair surgery back-to-back, but came back a few days later and I fell for his “I love you…I’m sorry I hurt you…” so I let him back in. It didn’t go well.

I found out that he didn’t have the money to turn on the gas for his slut-shack’s hot water heater, so… Yep, you guessed it. He played me for hot water.

During this wreckonciliation, I asked him about his laptop, and he admitted to me:
(Brace yourselves chumps)
He had been watching me discover his cheating and plans to leave me. He activated his laptops webcam on his phone and he watched me discover that my husband of 13 years was not only a cheater, but also quite evil.
It took everything in me not to explode, but I feigned feeling I’ll from surgery and went to “take a bath”. I suddenly felt quite filthy and dirty.
Needless to say, wreckonciliation didn’t last much longer after that. I tossed him out a few days later.
Two and a half years later, I can honestly say that the pain I felt back then has evaporated.
I re-claimed my space, my self, my sense of self-worship. Everything good and clean and happy.
You’ll get there!
If you’re already there, chumps, cheers!!!

Special Snowflake ha!
Special Snowflake ha!
6 years ago

Hi Unsinkable Molly! God your ex is an evil bastard. I feel for you. So very glad that you have gotten him out of your life and reclaimed it beautifully!

NoMoreEvil
NoMoreEvil
6 years ago
Reply to  BowTie

Enjoy your cheater-free Christmas, Bowtie! Oh, and you just reminded me about cheater when you mentioned getting a generic card. In the love-bombing stage, XH’s letters, cards, and even personalized marriage vows were so long, detailed, incredible and romantic. During the devalue and discard phase, the few cards that I did receive kept getting shorter and more generic. That was also a major sign that things weren’t right.

Hopium4years
Hopium4years
6 years ago
Reply to  BowTie

So mighty, BowTie!

Love that you let Mme’s lawyer know just what kind of lowlife she had for a client. Well played!

MotherChumper99
MotherChumper99
6 years ago
Reply to  BowTie

I love how you describe your peaceful life now. Your snoozing son is lucky to have a sane, cat-loving, Christmas decorating guy like you. Your stock trades high and a lot of wonderful women of integrity will bring their ornaments to fill in your tree when the fates allow.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago
Reply to  BowTie

Good for you, BowTie.

Wantmylifeback
Wantmylifeback
6 years ago

In the middle of a false reconciliation,my ex didn’t turn up for an extended family Christmas as he was “busy”. I was literally 9 months pregnant,with a two and a four year old. It was horrible,I kept waddling up the driveway in tears looking for his truck to appear like an abandoned dog. We wound up back together for a more wretched gaslit years(where passive aggressive victim mistress was apparently contacting him at EVERY family Christmas without me knowing for YEARS)but I never did find out what (or who)he was up to that awful sobbing Christmas.

Still Reelin
Still Reelin
6 years ago

Stage 3 Breast Cancer
31 years old
4 weeks post mastectomy
2 days post first chemo
11 pm Christmas Eve
Setting up Christmas for our 7 children

Ex sees a screwdriver set I got for him (we weren’t supposed to exchange gifts—his idea)
I am cussed out and he is so angry he leaves home
I finish Christmas setup alone—unsure if this is my last one on earth—for my sweet children
Ex prances back home in the morning when the children waken
I actually felt bad for innocently breaking the no gift idea CHUMP ME!!
That was my Christmas 30 years ago
Christmas now: cancer free and loser free
All adult children and grandchildren together with me
Loser has schmoopie #3 and no one else
Lose a cheater— gain a life
Not easy—but SO worth it!!
Merry Christmas!!!

OneFleshWithACheater
OneFleshWithACheater
6 years ago
Reply to  Still Reelin

Still Reelin, you’re a heroine, for sure. The user name is telling of your heart. Proud of you!

MotherChumper99
MotherChumper99
6 years ago
Reply to  Still Reelin

Omg! I can’t even……Still Reelin, there is a special place in hell for your X.

I hope this season is filled with love and peace for you. Huge hugs????????????????

Tessie
Tessie
6 years ago

I wish them all genital bot flies!

Whatringofhellisthis
Whatringofhellisthis
6 years ago
Reply to  Tessie

I wish them all Guinea Worms… in all their appendages. Similar to the bot fly in disgusting-ness… just grows up to 3 feet long ????????.

mocham
mocham
6 years ago
Reply to  Still Reelin

You are mighty!

Tempest
Tempest
6 years ago
Reply to  Still Reelin

Still Reelin–so glad you have gained a life; may your X develop internal parasites that bore through him, painfully.

Wormfree2017
Wormfree2017
6 years ago
Reply to  Still Reelin

What an asshole!

lyndaloo
lyndaloo
6 years ago
Reply to  Still Reelin

You are a mighty women and an inspiration to us all!
Merry Christmas to you!

Longtimechump
Longtimechump
6 years ago
Reply to  Still Reelin

Still Reelin,

Oh my God! I have no words! I hate your loser as much as I hate mine. Isn’t it so typical how they can turn the cards upside down on you, make a drama out of your good deed (present) because it presents a golden chance to “punish you” and leave at a time when he is most needed. And also leave you wondering and feeling guilty for your thoughtful actions. Planting the seeds of doubt in your head where you question your own values and goodwill because you “agreed” on something.

I thought this was in my life only and because I “didn’t appreciate him and could not figure out how to behave myself so he would approve.” The first year into our marriage I arranged for a surprise dinner in a nice restaurant on the river for his birthday with a gift certificate to his beloved bookstore – he was so awkward. He told me to stop showing any special attention to him for his birthday because he “never received attention and felt very awkward”. He had me promise this to him: treat his bday and all occasions as any other day. In the hindsight I now realize why he ruined my every bday, mother’s day, christmases and new years. He did not want attention from me because it justified to starve me of his attention on all those occasions, to punish me for my never ending expectations and enjoy seeing his power over me after I cried on each of those occasions for 12 years. I convinced myself it was just him and his FOOs and I just had to learn to live with it. It was such a strong conviction in my head and the desire to justify his actions was so omnipotent that when he arranged for a ski trip in europe during my planned c-section, I was ok with it (!!!!)

I re-started my “nagging” for his attention around christmas 2015 when he would dedicate 2-3 hours pre-holidays to call and email a long list of people except do anything for me. His answer always was that these people he needed for business or other things so he had to maintain the relationship. Not with the wife though. She is there silent on her shelf, always available. My comments became sarcastic, he resorted to his punishment mode, and all things fell into places on DDay shortly after the New Year in early 2016.

This is when I discovered he took his 12-year AP around a tour of egypt for 2 weeks for her bday. Plus other gifts and trips throughout years that spanned our entire marriage.

Until I started reading here and saw they really exist in millions, the cheater breed…

I am so happy you lost a loser! Enjoy your double cancer-free life!
(Hugs)

unicornomore
unicornomore
6 years ago
Reply to  Still Reelin

Oh my God….that is ghastly.
So glad that you are well now and kicking it. Them pulling stunts like that…abject cruelty and manipulation of a spouse who loves and needs them so they can feign disgust and leave to so fuck someone…I really believe they will be held accountable by their Maker.

It'sPastTime
It'sPastTime
6 years ago

I found the texts between my husband and his fuckbuddy on our iPad Christmas Morning, while in another state, just minutes before heading to my families celebration. (He had to work, so of course he couldn’t come! Wasn’t even an hour after I left that he sent the “I shipped the wife off, wanna come over?” text. Still makes me sick to think of the hugs, kisses and “I love you, miss you already” I got before I drove off. )

I made it through the kids opening presents – and then had to make my excuses to get the hell out before I broke down (without telling anyone of course, because why should I ruin everyone else’s Christmas just because my husband is a fuckwit)

Three years out – I can finally enjoy the holiday again.

Chumpeter
Chumpeter
6 years ago

Christmas is so fucking hard for me because that’s when my now ex reconnected with his ex-girlfriend… and kept up contact in a ‘more than just friends’ way. So this post makes so much sense.

We were in a long distance relationship and I couldn’t afford to visit him at Christmas (as I’d exhausted all my leaves… and my money… to come and visit him in his country repeatedly throughout the year) and in any case, during previous Christmases at his, I found it difficult to cope with his very strict parents – he would not defend me and even though I tried my best to please them I always felt like a naughty kid stepping out of line instead of a young professional woman who was getting to know a different culture (I am Muslim and he is Christian).

Last December he was flush with the success of becoming a doctor (PhD) and landing a very well paid job straight after (I had helped him at every step, at the cost of my own career, family and finances) and I suppose he no longer needed me as I am a very difficult person (my family situation is messy ie Christmases have always been lonely and when my mother died my emotional demands grew).

I am trying hard not to imagine him enjoying a happy Christmas with his family and OW… and I’m wondering if things would have been different if I had gone to his place for Christmas. Maybe he wouldn’t have reconnected with her if I had. The regret and what-ifs might kill me.

MotherChumper99
MotherChumper99
6 years ago
Reply to  Chumpeter

Chumpeter, sweetheart, you did NOTHING to make him choose to act this way. It’s all on him. He is a bad person, plain and simple. Selfish to the core. No empathy. I presume you were “spared” the hell of having children with him? If so, I’m glad you’ll never know the agony of your children crying for a daddy who devalued and abandoned them for a whore.

It will get better and someday you will see the near-miss you had with this evil person.

Stephanie
Stephanie
6 years ago
Reply to  Chumpeter

His parents are unkind, and he is an entitled cheater.

A man who wants to be with you, will be. Your ex is an opportunistic asshole, not a man who loves.

Let me remind you, that when it comes to having a relationship with a cheater, there is nothing you can do, or should do, or not do, that will prevent them from doing what they do, and that is cheat when they want to. Your only mistake is in believing in a cheater.

Find a GOOD man, one who loves you unequivocally. That’s what you should have. Not the far-away loser.

Hugs!

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago
Reply to  Chumpeter

He shouldn’t have pretended he wanted to be with you if he didn’t. There is no amount of difficult your life can be to justify a person lying to you and sneaking around to betray you. None.

I am so sorry he did this to you. And I think if a person has this in his character, he was going to do it at some point anyway. I don’t think you did anything to cause this in him. After all, you didn’t mimic his behavior and you were without companionship, too, right?

Go easy on your poor hurting heart as much as you can. I and most of us know the feelings you describe about what-ifs. You deserved, and deserve, better than a person betraying your trust and using your good nature to do it.

His cruelty is not your fault.

QueenMother
QueenMother
6 years ago

LOL!!!

Thank you Tracy for the Merry Christmas gift!!

And yes, the teen molester did not get elected. Good job Americans from Alabama. And now that we as a nation are talking about the stench of sexual predation, harassment, and abuse, can the next gift to the nation be the reveal and denouncement of infidelity?!

Chump Nation, raising my cup of No Contact to you, for a Christmas toast: May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be cheater-free.

SuperDuperChump
SuperDuperChump
6 years ago

Yep…D-Day right before Christmas.

Worse…on my Hero’s birthday.

Today is the anniversary of my D-day. It is also my Dad’s birthday. He would have been 75 today. Cheaters steal more than anyone realizes.

My Dad was a MAN. A real man. He was a Texas State Trooper who devoted his life to public service. He was the definition of integrity, character, and respect. I didn’t know until his funeral that he was a responder when that psycho was shooting out of the tower at the University of Texas.

But, more than anything, I remember how he treated my Mom. I thought every marriage was like my parent’s marriage.

So, today, I get to call my Mom and listen to her cry. I’ll get to hear her stories and memories. Even the one when she was 18 and met the “boy who looked so sizzling hot in that Marine uniform.”

To all you cheaters and affair partners on my Dad’s birthday:

Fuck you

Survivor
Survivor
6 years ago

Happy Birthday to your Dad, Super Duper. My Dad was also my hero, and he left me a very special present. He died on the anniversary of my wedding to the Fucktard. That was kind; I already hated that day on the calendar.

ANC
ANC
6 years ago

Virtual glass raised in tribute to your dad.

And a Grand FU to the assholes we know intimately.

This is your Reclaim Day.

Meg
Meg
6 years ago

I’m so sorry for your loss of your dear father! My father was also my hero, and he died and I realized how empty my life with XH really was. On what would have been my dad’s next birthday I sent my cheater an email, telling him I was finally done, after multiple d-days and pain. I know my dad would have been proud of me for taking a stand and ending the abuse. Within a month, information I needed for the divorce miraculously fell into my lap and I knew that my dad was watching over me from heaven. He and my mom were happily married for over 60 years, and I can’t think of a single time he caused pain to anyone. My dad was a real hero, and I am not even counting the Silver Star, Purple Hearts, Bronze Stars and more. He was a kind, happy, loving person. I (and we all!) need and deserve that kind of relationship!

Hopium4years
Hopium4years
6 years ago

SuperDuperChump,

I know what you mean about your Dad being your hero. Mine was also “the definition of integrity, character, and respect.”

The Python pretended to think highly of my father too; of course that was all bs to make me think he too was a man of character. And he turned out to be anything but.

I hope today isn’t too tough on you and your Mom. I miss my Dad so much too. Big hugs.

(((SuperDuperChump)))

Got-a-brain
Got-a-brain
6 years ago

It has always bothered me that stbx never felt guilt for using out of town business trips as an excuse to sleep with sex workers. My mind could never get around the lack of integrity of basically having his company pay the hotel bill for his escapades. As if I should expect some who cheats to have the slightest bit of integrity anyway! Hey, in my defense it takes time to stop believing in unicorns!

Reading this I literally had a lightbulb moment … how the hell else are they going to find an excuse to skip out on time they are expected to be around? There is going to be some other chump out there this holiday grappling with the same dissonance. My advise, stop trying to figure out if they have a sliver of integrity- they don’t!

If the cheating were about something you did to cause them to cheat, then they must have integrity in other areas of their life right?

A) they lie to you
B) they lie to affair partner
C) they lie to friends/ work/ coworkers
D) they lie to Family/ children
E) all of the above

The answer is E! That isn’t a temporary loss of integrity, that’s a character issue. They have no integrity!

ANC
ANC
6 years ago
Reply to  Got-a-brain

It’s also embezzlement from his employer. As what would pad extra days into his trips for important hook ups with his MOWS, co workers and actual paid sex workers.

ANC
ANC
6 years ago
Reply to  ANC

Should be *asshat*

TKO
TKO
6 years ago
Reply to  Got-a-brain

Very good point. If cheating were about something the spouse did or failed to do, then what explains the deceit they directed toward everyone else? It’s not about the spouse, it’s solely about character. And the character disordered will always fabricate a blame shifting justification for themselves. Blame of the spouse is just the inevitable lie at the end of a long series of lies directed everywhere.

susan devlin
susan devlin
6 years ago

My ex on Christmas day, received 28 phone calls in the morning. He refused to answer the phone. In the afternoon he said “the kids have got their toys, can I go out, your going to stop me aren’t you”. I was naive, saying were are you going too. He didn’t actually go out. The relationship got alot worse. Fortunately were not together anymore. Still hurts after 6 years

DavidB
DavidB
6 years ago

Having just put a 10,000 dollar deposit to builder for her dream home, we were going out to show off the new Place to family. During trip, she ended up in another car and had left her phone with me. Looking at the phone, there were very graphic messages leading up to their last hook up three days before. DDay Christmas Day 2014!

MotherChumper99
MotherChumper99
6 years ago
Reply to  DavidB

My DDay was 12/26/14 when kids discovered texts on x’s Phone ????????????????

Lemonade
Lemonade
6 years ago

My D-Day was 12/31/14 when I found a note from OW saying how she loved him blah blah. I held it together for a New Year’s eve dinner with friends then confronted him. He had the nerve to tell me it was from one of his clients (he’s a therapist and ironically the OW is a psychologist). I knew then for sure as it confirmed a couple months of suspicion. I played along for a few more weeks to get my ducks in a row even though I remember crumbling inside and trying so hard to keep it together for the kids. Hard to believe that was 3 years ago. I’m better in many ways but still feel like I have PTSD. It does help to know I’m not alone.

unicornomore
unicornomore
6 years ago

D day was in July but oh the Christmases before and after sucked mightily.

The one before was filled with gaslighting..he acted so fucking mean but if asked about it, he gave hollow reassurances then returned to meanness. I had started a new job caring for dying children (no stress there) I had all of Christmas to prepare for and he got VERY fussy about the house…anything out of place would result in anger from him.

Christmas Day I had done ALL the mom tasks to an extreme…dinner was finished, kitchen shining and perfect…the whole house was perfect but my personal desk was a mess (it always is) so he decided that I needed to be punished so he swept everything from the huge desk into a pile on the floor and walked away leaving it for me to find. Of course I dare not give him any flack over it after months of eggshell walking. He had free reign to be as big of an asshole as he wanted to be since I was willing to tolerate ANYTHING to keep my family together. Asshole

Tessie
Tessie
6 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Unicorn, I think your cheater might be sitting in that special place in hell reserved for the profoundly evil. He’s probably keeping cheater ex company.

Xmas theme song…..Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…….

Longtimechump
Longtimechump
6 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Unicorn, if I could stab your dead rotten cheater in his heart, I would! But he is either rotten 6 feet under or in ashes already. Sounds like a punishment mine would do to me and I would abide.

If it’s any consolation, you should see mine being exceptionally polite and charming at times. Not that it works now. He does the typical switch between his 3 channels of rage, charm and self-pity – but it’s only thanks to this site that I am educated now and my powers are back!

StartofSomethingGood
StartofSomethingGood
6 years ago

This is my fourth Christmas alone. The divorce was finalized two years ago and the cheater has remarried the affair partner this year. And it still hurts at holiday time. Not because I want him back, but because it’s just not normal to have a fractured family. And I think people feel that more so during the holidays.

But there’s always hope and blessings beyond the tragedy. I’m thinking of all the people who are going through a DDay right now. May the Lord bring them strength and comfort. I am so unbelievably thankful for Tracy, this site and all of CN! There is so much healing here! There’s a future and a hope coming, newbies! Hang in there!!!

Lemonade
Lemonade
6 years ago

Start of Something Good- I’m in the same place. I understand the struggle of dealing with the reality of a fractured family. The holidays really magnify it. Our divorce was finalized this summer after 2 years of legal drama. A couple months later he also married the OW and didn’t even tell me. It does feel very lonely. My kids are there with him and OW for a visit. They come back Xmas. I feel in many ways not only alone but pitiful. I try to put on a brave face and reclaim some of the holiday spirit I once had but I often wonder why he after causing so much pain to me, kids, extended family gets to be with someone and pretend to be family with our kids while I’m all alone. It just doesn’t make sense. Its like the cheater gets rewarded.

Chumpeter
Chumpeter
6 years ago

StartOfSomethingGood,

My heart goes out to you, as I know how painful it can be at Christmas time to be alone. On top of it the media relentlessly bombards you with songs and ‘perfect family’ images and expectations… My ex-boyfriend used to make me feel shit about my own broken family, as if it was a personal flaw. So some of my Christmases were spent in abject lonely rumination, where I would feel utterly heartbroken that he was surrounded by the love of his family underneath the twinkling Christmas tree while I sat alone in an empty house, wondering when this festive season would be over.

But there are three things I’m trying to tell myself:

(1) There are a lot more broken families and lonely people out there; we just need to remove the stigma around this. The ‘perfect family holiday’ narrative to me is as damaging and counter to reality as the photoshopped, airbrushed models are to women struggling with body image.

(2) I figured that my broken family taught me resilience, compassion, integrity and honesty. My ex came from a ‘perfect’ family yet he lied, deceived and caused pain in a cowardly manner. I know which one I would take, don’t you?

(3) Watching Oprah videos helps – especially about ‘standing in my truth’. As if it’s not bad enough to be cheated upon, seeing the person you loved with your whole heart choose someone else is pure agony. But then again, the basis of their relationship is pain and deceit. It does not have a strong spiritual basis. I’d rather be single without hurting anyone than carve a ‘happily ever after’ from the beating heart of a Chump.

Sending you many, many hugs xx

Got-a-brain
Got-a-brain
6 years ago
Reply to  Chumpeter

Omg, this is the narrative of my marriage. He can from the perfect family (perfectly dysfunctional IMO) and I was the flawed result of a broken home.

It’s funny that my less than perfect upbringing also taught me integrity. I guess when you are present early in life with making a choice about who you want to be, you make a conscious decision to base your behavior on those internal values. It seems to me people from families that “appear” perfect have grown up with the example that impression is more important than integrity.

STBX blamed my upbringing for my “paranoia” that he was cheating. Subscribing to societal stereotypes allowed me to continue to feel that it was my intrinsic flaws that were the problem. The only role my upbringing played in his choices was believing I was the problem.

NotMyFault
NotMyFault
6 years ago

My “holiday” was two weeks before our 35th Anniversary Dream trip to Italy! She must have given him an ultimatum. I went alone. He, the whore and my exMIL went on this exact trip while we were still married (10 months later) and in the process of the divorce. There is a special place in hell for the three of them!

texasx3
texasx3
6 years ago
Reply to  NotMyFault

Not my Fault…ugggg. I am so sorry. It must have hurt SO badly for the MIL to do that to you. So sorry. I loved my ex MIL and I miss her a lot.

Tempest
Tempest
6 years ago
Reply to  NotMyFault

Sorry, NotMyFault. I have a similar story–my daughters and I had been studying Chinese language for several years. We were all looking forward to an eventual trip to China one summer. Hannibal Lecher got invited to a conference outside Beijing at a time neither my DDs nor I could go, but he accepts, with my blessing.

D-day hits on 9/11/14 and I find out about his affair with gradwhore from 8 years prior (he had finally been called to a sexual harassment hearing about it & I found his notes). I indicate we are over, he lies about the affair & claims he doesn’t want the marriage to end. Leaves for his Beijing conference 3 days later, knowing his marriage is in dire straits. And takes his last AP, a Chinese national with him. Cold.

kiwichump
kiwichump
6 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Ugh, Tempest, I didn’t know the time line for you DDays. So sorry, you’re amazing, you overcame all this so quickly and have been here helping others for so long. Thank you, mighty Tempest!

Onwards
Onwards
6 years ago

Ah the memories of cheater extrravagently purchasing things he wanted and not getting anything for kids or relatives, demanding chump got gifts for them all within frugal guidelines and to “get something for yourself I don’t know what to get you” . Then skulking off to privately text and phone ‘friends’ citing the need for privacy after decades of marriage. DD2 and separation were late last year so I got through a subdued last Christmas, then thankfully found here earlier this year, thank you for being such a beacon of light this year!

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
6 years ago

Mr. Sparkles announced he was leaving before my birthday… my gift back to him, finalizing the divorce on December 22. Merry Fucking Christmas, douchebag.

BE MIGHTY CHUMPS! The best gift you can give yourself and your kids is FREEDOM from Cheaters and the abuse. It is so hard to see the bright side of it as your losing your story, your house, 50% of your time with your kids… but once you have some distance and go no contact like a boss (yes, I co-parent)… the lightness of your life shines.

Keep your faith… you will get through this… and if you stay sane, your kids will too.

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
6 years ago

My dday was a week before Thanksgiving 2010. Unfortunately I stayed with cheater to attempt wreckconciliation for 3 more years (gag me with a pitchfork) and even though we decided to divorce in the fall he wanted to “stay together through the holidays” before I moved out. That was just code for “I want to join dating sites and start hooking up since I don’t have the overlap I generally like to have before I leave a relationship.” He wound up running back to the OW and she left her husband and now the twu wuv schmoopies are married.

Anyway, it’s been 4 years since my divorce and I don’t even remember the date of my actual dday. I know that it’s around Thanksgiving but I don’t even think about it like I did when I was still married to the cheater. I’ve made new and much better holiday traditions with my kids, my parents, sister and her husband and they’re so much better than they were. Life does get better newly minted chumps and you might not believe that now but losing a cheater is seriously one of the best things that can happen for anyone. The first holidays suck but they get infinitely better with time. We promise you that!

Redstarrising
Redstarrising
6 years ago

After discovering the affairs 2 yrs earlier and him claiming to be working on us for the year, on Dec 22, 2014 he says over dinner in a swanking dive bar (that served amazing food) that he was no longer attracted to me. This was the week of Christmas and my parents 60th anniversary celebration with photos!!
I never said a word to him, or blew up. I just ate my now horrible tasting dive bar food. Christmas with my sister’s and their families and celebrations all around happened. You’d never know we were headed for splitsville in the new year, I put on a show of love and respect towards him, plus I was smoking some strong Hopeium and trying to do my best to throw my nice self at him to show him this is how it could be, (yeah pick me dance.) Then the 60th anniversary celebration with more relatives and all their little old folks community happens including photos where I had him positioned so the photographer could crop his ass out of the photos. (I was friends with the photographer and gave a heads up to her about my world crashing down into shitsville.)
On New Years eve he sat in his truck and told me he wanted a legal seperation so he could stay on the insurance that I provided for him. In Calif. you can’t remove someone from the insurance if you’re in a seperation or processes of a divorce. . (That didn’t stop me 2 years later- and a whole other story there)
Later in January of ’15 when I gave the photos to my parents that’s how I announced my x and I were splitting and headed for divorce, cause he wasn’t in the photo. I felt horrable faking and telling everyone how happy we were. I even sat on his lap and took photos with him and my daughter, who later found out in January as the truth started rolling out, about what a shit-eater he was.
Three yrs later and my life is decent, my sister’s have been very supportive (thanks LML) and he’s living a life of misery. Karma struck him down several times over.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago
Reply to  Redstarrising

I love your collusion with the photographer. Way to go on that!!!!! Gross that he was even in them.in the first place after what he did

Sucker Punched by a Saffa
Sucker Punched by a Saffa
6 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

Thank God for Photoshop to delete the cheater from digital photos. X-acto knife or smiley face stickers for the analog prints.

NewLife2017
NewLife2017
6 years ago

Mine told me on the first day of our family vacation, took me and the kids for a nice walk. Then bam, And left. Realized later he talked to her the whole ride home, 4 hours. Then told me later when he left he had a huge smile on his face and hasn’t felt that good in years. What a nice guy, destroy your wife and kids, our dreams our family…that’s jacked up if he really has never felt better.

brit
brit
6 years ago
Reply to  NewLife2017

Mine said the same thing to my Mom who was dying of cancer. He called to tell her that leaving me was the best decision he’s ever made and that he’s never been happier..,

You’re right NewLIfe2017, Mr. Nice Guy doing what he can to destroy me, implode our sons’s life then discard the years of memories I thought he treasured as much as I did, our future, and family.
Yet, it’s the best decision he’s ever made and he’s never been happier.
That statement alone speaks volumes on what they are.

NewLife2017
NewLife2017
6 years ago
Reply to  brit

You know what Brit, when I type out on this site what he actually said to me, instead of leaving it in my head to replay over and over…..its like the light gets brighter every time I read the typed words he said to me…..and truly what an awful person he is, and come to the point that little by little I stop blaming myself for not being ‘good enough’. He really does suck.

brit
brit
6 years ago
Reply to  NewLife2017

Newlife, someone on CN suggested keep a journal of the hurtful things your X has done or said. It not only helps see things more clearly as you write then read them over but you have them to read for moments when you feel weak or miss what you thought you had.
I had a hard time seeing and accepting that the relationship I thought I had with X didn’t exist, neither did the person.
Please know that his leaving or checking out of your marriage and abandoning your family had nothing to do with you. They’re incredibly cunning and manipulative, and experts at twisting words to make us question ourselves. Justifies what they’ve done keeping their image intact.

brit
brit
6 years ago
Reply to  NewLife2017

NewLife, writing out the things they’ve said and done is eye opening isn’t it?
You realize what monsters they really are. For years X had me brainwashed into thinking
I wasn’t living up to his expectations or failing in some way.
Looking back it was me who compromised and made all the effort to keep him happy while he did nothing but complain and mope around. I planned family activities and did all the work while he went along looking miserable.
It took me a long time to finally accept that it wasn’t something I did or said that made him unhappy which made him cheat. I was good at spackling and making excuses for his behavior blaming myself. As Tracy says, the only thing you can trust, is that they suck. Unbelievably cruel, cunning and manipulative.

Walter
Walter
6 years ago

Tracy- do you have Tourette’s?

That manifests itself by inserting your political views in almost EVERY column…. nonwithstanding it’s complete lack of relevance. It is tacky and ham fisted.

Your audience is vulnerable and desperate (as I was). Most are sycophantic to you because they are afraid of losing the one place they have that understands this is probably the worst experience of their life.

You are like Nellie Olsen with a blog.

Just be Chump Lady. Don’t post your views where no one has the power to fight you back. You will simply block them. Are you secretly just a dictator like the right wing politicians you profess to hate?

Go over to Breibart and post there.

Twitching
Twitching
6 years ago
Reply to  Walter

Walter, you are WAY off course. It’s her blog. She can say whatever she damn well pleases.

I love her for speaking her mind. I’m grateful.

You’ll find that we are all on Tracy’s team.

TxDude
TxDude
6 years ago
Reply to  Walter

You mean BrietFart?

FedUpChump
FedUpChump
6 years ago
Reply to  Walter

You come onto a blog designed to support those who’ve been betrayed in horrific ways and dare to call us desperate sycophants?
Go fuck yourself.
Asshole

DavidB
DavidB
6 years ago
Reply to  Walter

Well…… I’m as far right/conservative/libertarian or whatever label one wishes to give me, but ol Roy is a dirt bag. No one hates to give the progressive commies an extra seat more than I. But to defend a person who is well known to have trolled malls and other areas preying on underage women? Nope I can’t do it! We all know which way CL liens and it’s her blog….. great thing about our great country is the ability to have opinions, speak them and have civil disagreements. If you don’t like her politics go somewhere else. It’s pretty simple. I doubt there are many people who come here that are brainwashed into her beliefs or politics….. anyway, I give her a pass on her politics for all the wonderful chump advise she gives. I wish I had found her years ago. Would have saved me a lot of grief! For all the unfortunate souls who are in their early days of hell, having found CL early is a blessing. Just beware she might be a liberal!

Lola Granola
Lola Granola
6 years ago
Reply to  DavidB

Scary practising-Catholic economic-libertarian feminist here. God bless Chump Lady, and all who sail in her.

Survivor
Survivor
6 years ago
Reply to  DavidB

Hi All:

I’m a progressive liberal, and here to say that politics has nothing to do with recognizing scum as scum. Scum comes in different shapes, sizes, colors and stripes, and all political affiliations, but it is still scum. And child predators are scum. Something Ivanka Trump and I agree on.

Stigofthechump
Stigofthechump
6 years ago
Reply to  Walter

Oh Walter! *sad trombone*

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago
Reply to  Stigofthechump

Hahaha! Stealing that!

Beth
Beth
6 years ago
Reply to  Stigofthechump

This comment had me LOLing. “WaaaWaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah” Thanks for the laugh Stig!!

Stigofthechump
Stigofthechump
6 years ago
Reply to  Walter

Gaha that is strangely specific, but I like it!

Stigofthechump
Stigofthechump
6 years ago
Reply to  Stigofthechump

Sorry this comment was supposed to be in response to the medieval coal mining implements way up thread,lord knows how it got here!

Beth
Beth
6 years ago
Reply to  Walter

Tourettes and Nellie Olsen? That’s all you’ve got? LOL Buh Bye Walter.
#lame

BeowulfSabrina
BeowulfSabrina
6 years ago
Reply to  Walter

STFU Walter.
BYE.
Get your own blog and oh yeah, STFU.
CL is amazing.You: not so much.

Stephanie
Stephanie
6 years ago
Reply to  Walter

Oh, Walter! Walter, Walter, Walter.

Why you gotta be so butt-hurt over politics? Did you read what she wrote about MY political party yesterday? I’m a card-carrying Libertarian, buddy! But I’m not butt-hurt about it. (CL, just so you know, your son can go on to live a happy, productive life as a libertarian….) If we’re not here for politics, then let it go! Let it go, Walter! Have a good laugh!

Sheesh. Your guy is a pedophile and a full-on theocratic racist. You’re being chumped! By a politician!

My advice? Learn to be more discerning. Don’t let those assholes act like you have no choices. Don’t throw yourself at the feet of whichever R they serve up to you, no matter how repugnant. You’re worth more than that, Walter! You have a brain–use it! You’re worth more than a pedophile racist! Find your worth, Walter!

You can DO it!

chumpapalooza
chumpapalooza
6 years ago
Reply to  Walter

Thank you.

Ohana
Ohana
6 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Please, leave the poor horse out of it. She’s been through enough. Have you seen the way he rides?

TxDude
TxDude
6 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

I guess he’s all upset today about the election results. I let my son stay up past his bedtime so we could watch the results come in. It was exciting he was jumping for joy as Jones pulled ahead and won. It was a nice bonding evening, morality won and I got to share it with my kid.

AuntieMame
AuntieMame
6 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

I’m glad to know your moral (not political, because not supporting a pedophile, racist, bigot has nothing to do with politics and some people need to look in the mirror and face that) stance on these things. I wouldn’t want to support someone who supports the type of man that Roy Moore is.

NoMoreEvil
NoMoreEvil
6 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Applause!!!!

Tempest
Tempest
6 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Walter not only is willing to defend a pedophile, but also to insult people with a disability (Tourette’s). Gee, what’s next, Walter, kicking homeless people and stealing their winter hats?

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
6 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Not to mention I don’t think Walter has posted today for the first time, I just think it’s the first time he’s used that particular handle. I hate cowards that change their board names to something different when they want to drop the same ole same ole bullshit disguised as a different poster.

Golfgrrl
Golfgrrl
6 years ago
Reply to  Walter

Shut up Walter!

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago
Reply to  Walter

Don’t feed the troll, Chumps.

Cheaterssuck
Cheaterssuck
6 years ago
Reply to  Walter

A dictator would MAKE you read her blog and get rid of all other blogs and there would be no Breibart or Digbert or Bert (with or without Ernie)You don’t have to read here so you probably shouldn’t use big words like dictator that you obviously don’t understand.

Oh and the 70’s called. They’d like their insult back.

Tempest
Tempest
6 years ago
Reply to  Cheaterssuck

lol!

Nejla
Nejla
6 years ago

Although I didn’t know it yet, Christmas 2015, X (then husband…blech…skeeves me out to think I was married to that conman!) said (two days before Christmas) that he was just too strapped to get any presents. My small immediate family were there to spend the holidays and had travelled a long way. He spent the whole time sleeping or walking around unhappy, or “working”…especially late nights…you know, because he was so strapped. He went out on Christmas Eve, and came home with a bag of exercise clothes for me still in the bag as my gift.
Months later when I was playing divorce detective, I really focused on the phone records and account statements from that time because he behaved so terribly…not nasty, which he was a lot of the time, but sadz-y and dismissive of my family (even while we ALL, including his little kid, spackled like mad over his behavior). He hadn’t paid the mortgage in a couple months at that point and at the same time was taking out thousands in cash every month and was calling all sorts of people who I didn’t know.
SO, why am I writing this? For the newbies, CL is so on point as usual…these types don’t tend to “show up” in the sense that they leave all family obligations and responsibilities to chumps. They also hate celebrations that don’t focus solely on them and if they are cheating they walk around like the world is against them around the people they are lying to. X is a bottomless pit. A black hole. Leave a cheater gain a life!!

ChumpinAintEasy
ChumpinAintEasy
6 years ago

Hello Fellow Chumpies!

I am a rookie to the CN, as I had my 3rd (and final) D-Day back in August. Technically my D-Day didn’t come during a holiday, but rather a few days before my 9 year wedding anniversary. We had a trip to the Grand Cayman planned. My STBX works as a Contractor overseas. So for most of the year, he is out of the country while I am left to tend to the house, handle all the financials, work full-time… you get the picture.

A month before catching him red-handed downtown with the OW, I found out that he paid to have a membership to a Sugar Daddy arrangement website. He was overseas at the time, so during a FaceTime call he swore up and down that it was just boredom and he never spoken to any women, I believed him.
A few days later I could still see some online activity, so I questioned him again, only this time he was furious with me and had no remorse. He said we would talk when he got home in a month. Fast forward a month to when he was coming home on R&R and he had gotten himself a hotel downtown to “decompress and think about what he wanted to do about our relationship”. I thought I was doing the right thing by giving him some space to think about our future, but all along he was banging this very unattractive women whom herself was still married. (The same skank he found on the sugar daddy website)

Now its days before Christmas and the loser is back home for R&R. OW is still in the picture and he purchased an Airbnb in her town to get away from me. Both of their lives are slowly starting to unravel and I couldn’t be happier. Merry Christmas to me, From Karma.

I wanted to extend my deepest gratitude to The Chumpy Lady and the Chump Nation. I read “Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life” cover to cover several times and this website is the FIRST thing I read in the mornings…yes, even before my work emails!! Its THAT important to me to receive a daily dose of kick ass advice and to read all the comments from my fellow chumps. You have brought this 32 year old wreck back to life. Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays to you all!

Motherchumper99
Motherchumper99
6 years ago

Welcome here CHumpinAintEasy. You are welcome anytime, the coffee or teapot is always on, and the door is always open. You’ll never be alone now that you are part of the great Chump Nation!

Tempest
Tempest
6 years ago

Welcome, ChumpinAintEasy. We always regret that people have to live through the trauma of infidelity, but there is no safer place to land than CL. The upcoming holiday will be rough (firsts always are), but sign up for the forums (top R corner)–you’ll get a password by email. The Private: General forums are the best place to get advice from the most seasoned chumps (and guaranteed that other people will be on-line during any lonely holiday moments).

chumpapalooza
chumpapalooza
6 years ago

Ok Chumplady, you have been there for me and more so chump nation to be honest in the forums, but damn if you cant keep off the political shit I hate it but I may have to leave, and you are turning off about half of chumps who otherwise would love to come here for support. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP! I don’t want to lose this place, but ENOUGH.

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
6 years ago
Reply to  chumpapalooza

Ya know when I first read your “Thank you” comment I thought it was for Tracy but then I followed the thread and saw that it went up to first pedophile-loving, disparaging, doesn’t even use timely or relevant insults- original poster.

Seriously? It is the height of insane hubris for people to come on a blog that helps millions of people and tell the author of the blog who pays for said blog herself and asks for nothing in return, what SHE SHOULD and SHOULD NOT be writing. And that SHE should keep her opinions to herself. Yup, insane hubris.

Stage a walk out. Exercise your right to freedom and don’t read here. Or start your own blog. But please stop thinking you can dictate what Tracy puts in HER blog. I don’t like Breibart. I think it’s bullshit so you know what I do? I don’t read it.

beenchumped
beenchumped
6 years ago
Reply to  chumpapalooza

WTF? That dude is a pedophile… what’s “political” about that. If memory serves Wiener has been the subject of a few recent discussions here. You sound incredibly biased and ridiculous to pick out a one-sentence comment and not even mentioned entire posts about a democrat fuckwit. Tracy is all about morals and human decency lacking in the sexually deranged; I have never felt a political agenda pushed here. Unfortunately ass holes are non-partisan and plentiful. And politicians make the news and current events for their sexual escapades. As a mature and empathetic adult, I have friends all over the place politically. Please, please, please do some soul searching on yourself. P.S. You and that Walter idiot owe CL a big fat apology! .

Stephanie
Stephanie
6 years ago
Reply to  chumpapalooza

Seriously, chumpapalooza–

Please read the content of what Tracy writes before you react to shield a political party. I mean, really, what has your political PARTY done for you lately? If running a pedophile racist is that, then I encourage a bit of self-examination.
Don’t be so knee-jerk defensive of a POLITICAL party. The assholes running the country and probably your state are the most entitled, self-serving jerks. As I said to Walter–you’re being chumped if you treat your political party like a cult. (They are treating YOU like a cult member. They ran a racist pedophile and expected you to vote for that shit.)

I’m shocked that anyone would leave this forum of people who are from all political parties, religions, countries, sexual orientations, races over a political party. I really do hate for you to leave over it. I think you’re lacking rational priorities if you do. I think you’re not able to be very tolerant of new ideas (like, thinking that a racist pedophile might be a bad person to run the country.) That’s so sad, chumpapalooza! Come on, now.

Beth
Beth
6 years ago
Reply to  chumpapalooza

Oh for Pete’s sake. Go. Leave. Do not for one second think you can *threaten* Tracy with a chump walk out for expressing HER views on HER blog. She is doing the world a solid providing us with this place. She does it out of the goodness of her heart. Neither you or anyone else gets to set the terms for her benevolence. If you don’t like what she says then stop reading. Sadly there are plenty of new chumps who appreciate what she does to take your place. Few things piss me off more than someone who tries to dictate the terms of a gift freely given. If someone offers you help without cost you say “Thank you”, not “No, I want ______.” Seriously. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

Stillhere
Stillhere
6 years ago